Rummy Grapefruit Soda

I used to think that Fresca was a joke soda that only old people consumed.  Never in my young life could I understand why someone would enjoy a grapefruit soda.  Somewhere in my maturing I began to warm up to them more and more.  Eventually I found them quite refreshing and got to where I enjoyed the taste… not so much that I’d seek it out mind you.  Today’s review is of Rummy Grapefruit soda which best I can tell has been around forever.  With a red and white logo on a green glass bottle even this current version has an antique feel to it.  The slogan printed on the bottle reads “Get Chummy with Rummy”.  Without going back over my reviews I’m going to guess that this is the first time a friendship with a soda has been suggested to me.  The “My Buddy” jingle is now looping in my head with “My Rummy” having replaced the standard lyrics.  Hopefully as I consume my new buddy I’ll not regret letting him into my life.  Onward!

Ah, the grapefruit scent is strong with this one.  As I look at the ingredients to see if I missed reading the word grapefruit (I didn’t) I see an old favorite… Ester of Wood Rosin.  Even with all the chemicals that find their way into some sodas Ester of Wood Rosin might be the least appetizing one to read.  I don’t want to see “wood” anywhere in an ingredient list even if wood isn’t an ingredient.  Time to drink.

I was moderately thirsty before opening this bottle so I’m really hoping for something that will quench my mild desire.  Rummy is much smoother than I anticipated it being.  I associate a rough citric acid and sharp mouth feel with grapefruit sodas, but rummy has none of these.  While there is a constant tingle of carbonation throughout the grapefruit flavor has lost a lot of its bite.  This is like if 7up and Mountain Dew had a baby that rolled around in a grapefruit patch. 

Another thing I was surprised about was how sweet Rummy tasted.  Now maybe that’s because they used cane sugar to sweeten it, but once again my mind had an incorrect preconceived notion about Rummy due to the fact that I expected a straight up grapefruit soda.  I guess I really shouldn’t have expected it to taste a lot like grapefruit once I saw that it wasn’t listed in the ingredients.  So if you’re looking for a good grapefruit soda you probably don’t want to try Rummy.  Now if you’re looking for a tasty sweet “citrus” soda with hints of grapefruit then Rummy should be right up your alley.

~A

This beverage supplied to us by Dublin Bottling Works

Twist has also been called "rummy"

Fanta Orange with Sugar

Well I’m still scraping by on drinks to review due to my laziness of doing that thing where you get in the big steel box and direct it to one of those large boxes where people find the different sodas.  So today we’re once again relying on my local foodery, a place I’m treating like a dog treats a bone in the yard.  Gotta save it for later, don’t finish the bone, gotta save it for later.  Today’s scrounging has brought me in contact with Fanta Orange.  “Big whoop” you might say and if you did I’d probably chuckle at you.  This isn’t your ordinary Fanta Orange, this Fanta Orange hails from Mexico which means… wait for it… yes it’s sweetened with real sugar.  I’m pretty sure most of us are vaguely familiar with Fanta, but if not here goes the sentence summary.  Fanta is the brand Coke uses for fruit flavors.  Heck you might even remember the Fanta Girls asking if you “Wanna Fanta?  Don’t you wanna?”  If none of that rings your doorbells don’t worry, it’s just orange soda.

After using my trusty vintage “Colorado County Federal Savings and Loan Association” bottle opener I’m greeted with the familiar scent of orange soda.  It’s not over powering, it’s not amazing, it’s faint and it’s orange.  Moving on.

Immediately I’m impressed by the light mouth feel this sugar sweetened beverage gives me, but that’s the finish and around here we start from the beginning.  Upon first consumption of Fanta Orange my taste buds are greeted with sweet orange flavor.  It’s similar to your basic orange candy, but slightly less powerful in taste.  The orange essence sits flatly in your mouth for a few seconds before the bubbles set in before coating your tongue with light fizzy bubbles.  Throughout the entire experience though there’s the very subtle hint of cardboard.  It doesn’t ruin the taste by any means, but it’s most definitely present.  Now this “cardboard” taste might only be in my world as I’ve noticed that it’s present in many of the orange sodas I’ve tasted.  Frostie, while I like it a lot, is the strongest example of that.  With all that said Fanta Orange is still a pretty good orange soda, but nothing you need to seek out.  If you’re already a Fan of Fanta (I really hope that’s been an advertising campaign of theirs) then try and find yourself a bottle of the Mexican version.  If you’re just “alright” with Orange Fanta then I’d say go ahead and stick to the HFCS version because it’s not worth the extra effort to find this.

~A

Twist invented soda flavored stamps back in the 70's, but no one wanted to buy from an iguana... pity.

MASH Ripe Mango Blood Orange

I feel like writing a short review today, so just go with me on this one.  MASH Ripe Mango Blood Orange is the third MASH drink up for review.  The other two were pretty good, but not spectacular.  MASH is pretty much two steps above fruity carbonated water.  If this is anything like the other two flavors then one flavor will dominate as the other sits quietly in a corner.  My guess is that the mango will play the role of the dom.  Onward!

I seem to be on the right track thus far as the most noticeable aroma that escapes is… bum bada buuuum… the mango.  I bet each of you 1,000th of a cent that the flavor will match the scent.  Cent for scent… I’ve mildly amused myself.

Well I owe you a collective cent.  While the mango jumps in at the end of this taste test, the blood orange is featured first.  This marks the first time the two flavors have both been represented equally, but I’m not overly thrilled with it.  For whatever reason the two flavors clash a bit with my tongue.  Instead of a fresh citrus flavor it’s somewhat bitter.  Maybe I got a bad batch or something, but this isn’t my style.  The bitterness sits there throughout not allowing me to fully enjoy either of the two flavors I normally would.  With that said it also takes away how refreshing the drink should be, which is sad since the previous two drinks were quenchers of thirst.  MASH Ripe Mango Blood Orange is very…yeah.

~A

Faux fact:  Twist isn't ripe yet, that's why he's green.

Virgil's Clementine

The review you’re about to read is an act of pure selfishness.  A few weeks back C.W. (popular fan reviewer) sent me a review for Virgil’s Clementine and I was jealous.  “I can get you a bottle,” he kindly offered… which of course I was thrilled to accept.  When it came time to post his Virgil’s Clementine review I balked and used one of the other fan reviews I have stored up in my storage facility.  I just couldn’t bring myself to read his review and have the Virgil’s Clementine experience ruined, not in even the tiniest of ways.  So now I sit here about to review Virgil’s Clementine while C.W. review sits in the fireproof vault I keep the other fan reviews.  The bottle sits atop my desk looking so very fresh and vibrant.  The bottle art is just a clementine sliced in half, but it looks good enough to eat.  I saved this out of envy and now I must hope that same envy doesn’t change what could be a magical experience.

The clementine aroma escapes, but has more in common with airport orange juice than with the freshly squeezed citrus.  Is this the jealousy rearing its ugly head, not allowing me to enjoy this beverage to the fullest?  Only one way to find out.

The carbonation slams against the back of my tongue, creating a stage for the following fruit juices to dance upon.  Sadly I can taste a hefty amount of apple and pear (two of the listed ingredients) more than I can the sweet clementines I expected.  To me Virgil’s Clementine almost tastes like an apple juice/orange juice hybrid.  This is truly a soda that allows you to compare apples to oranges in a single sip.  In the early stages of each gulp I’m greeted with a flavor that reminds me of fermented fruit.  I’m fully aware that this drink isn’t fermented at all, but the flavor still exists and takes away from my experience.  I thought this would taste a bit smoother and sweeter than what I’m currently experiencing.  That may be a problem I’m creating for myself though as I may want the flavor of clementine candy, but instead get the real thing in liquid form.  As always the ingredients listed are top notch and that should be rewarded, but today taste rules.  As amazing as it should be Virgil’s Clementine is just “alright” for me.  Now maybe that’s the curse of betraying a fellow soda reviewer, but until  can prove that I’ll just have to stick by my guns.

~A

Twist was even green with... nope, can't do it.

MASH Grapefruit Citrus Zing

At the time I’m writing this review I’m supposed to be asleep.  Why am I not asleep you probably didn’t ask.  I’m hot.  There are several miserable ways to wake up that don’t involve emergencies of some sort and being hot is at the top of my list.  Your body just sort of develops this thin layer of sweat that tries its darndest to cool you off to no avail.  Fortunately I recently reviewed a soda, MASH Lemon Peel Ginger Root, which was incredibly refreshing.  Even more fortunately I have three more flavors in my fridge.  So after I decided that continuing to sleep wasn’t going to happen I walked to my refrigerator and pulled out the most thirst quenching name… MASH Grapefruit Citrus Zing.  As many grapefruit drinks are this one is a light pink color with label art to match.  Since I’ve already reviewed what goes into a MASH beverage I’ll go ahead and quench my thirst now.

Wow, my allergies are kicking and I can still smell the pungent grapefruit aroma that this large mouth bottle allows.  From scent alone I’m starting to wonder if this beverage is going to be “too grapefruity” for my liking.

Meh.  The flavor doesn’t hold the same strength as the scent, but it’s still clearly a grapefruit flavored beverage.  Once again the carbonation is light and actually a little stronger than the Lemon Peel Ginger Root Flavor.  You mouth is greeted by a quick wash of grapefruit flavoring that grows watery by the second while the tiny bubbles try their hardest to tickle your tongue.  Fortunately the taste doesn’t stay in your mouth long enough to reach a negative level of watery…ness...ness.  The “Citrus Zing” is only felt at the beginning of each sip as a shock of generic citrus flavor.  This flavor sets the table for the rest of your MASH Grapefruit Citrus Zing experience.  On a slightly different note, I’ll be happy when I’m done reviewing these MASH beverages because they have obscenely long names.  Sadly this flavor of MASH isn’t quite as thirst quenching (I don’t think there’s a better way to say “thirst quenching”) as the previous version I tried, but it’s getting the job done.  Remember when you were asked to make the bed as a kid and instead of neatly completing the task you just through the comforter over and smoothed it out?  Yeah… like that.  While I’m ok with this bottle of MASH Grapefruit Citrus Zing it’s just not living up to the level I expected it to.  In fact it’s about a notch below and will be rated as such.

~A

MASH Lemon Peel Ginger Root

I ran out of sodas last week so I plodded on down to my local grocer to see if they had anything I might be able to consume.  When all seemed lost I noticed a refrigerated case at the front of the store with all sorts of energy drinks in them… all of which had been reviewed or are in line to be.  Saddened I made like Tom Dooley and hung down my head and cried.  Apparently the folks at Boylan Bottling Co. didn’t want me to meet the same fate as the aforementioned Dooley because my eyes fell upon a bottle of Mash.  Technically there were four different flavors of Mash at my fingertips, but I guess there could be more somewhere out there.  This particular flavor of Mash, Lemon Peel Ginger Root, is like all the other flavors in the way that they’re all defined as Low Calorie Water Drinks.  I quickly checked the ingredients, searching for carbonation.  Check.  Upon doing this I also noticed that Lemon Peel Ginger Root Mash only has 10 grams of sugar per 8 oz.  Curious about how many oz. this stubby little bottle held I checked the side and was surprised to see 20 fl oz.  I like this shorter, chunkier, 20 oz. bottle… not sure why I just do.  Glancing at the ingredients once again I’m not sure how much flavor this beverage is going to pack.  There isn’t even any ginger listed as an ingredient of any kind.  I take that back; I guess it could be covered under the very vague “natural flavors”.  It should be interesting to see how they incorporate a listed flavor without said listed ingredient.  I guess there’s only one way to tell.

Before I even get the cap completely off a ginger/lemon scent comes wafting out of the mouth.  The aroma coming from this is very enticing to me.  There is something about it that makes me thing my thirst is about to be quenched to a very high degree.  Let’s find out.

This pleases me greatly.  The flavor is definitely more lemon peel than ginger root, but the two paragraphs before this should have told you it was going to be.  The carbonation level is almost non-existent, but needed to keep this from falling flat in your mouth.  Much like I anticipated this is a very refreshing beverage.  I’d happily have this by my side while out in any Texas heat.  While Mash is probably more watery than your standard soda, that doesn’t hinder its taste at all.  The lemon juice’s flavor comes through perfectly clear.  Minute Maid lemonade doesn’t have this level of lemon strength, but they are probably my least favorite lemonade out there so maybe I’m just throwing daggers.  My stomach feels the hints of a burn that would be caused by ginger and I guess you could imagine the flavor has those same hints, but it’s so little I wouldn’t even have listed it on the bottle.  Over all Mash Lemon Peel Ginger Root is a very long name and a pretty good soda; it’s low in sugar, low in calories (40), and refreshing.  This particular flavor isn’t amazing enough to warrant you going out and buying large quantities of it, but I look forward to the other three bottles that rest in my fridge.

~A

Twist was disappointed in the lack of bangers

IVI Carbonated Orangeade

I honestly couldn’t tell you what I’m reviewing today.  It’s sitting here right in front of me, but I can’t pronounce it even if I tried.  You see, today’s drink is from Greece and it’s called hbh Carbonated Orangeade.  The only reason I know it’s carbonated orangeade is because the “English” side of the bottle tells me that, but those are the only words in English I can spot.  The label, other than being 98% Greek displays numerous fun images like an MP3 player and a guitar in an orange tint.  Using a Google Translation I check out their website and see that hbh Carbonated Orangeade is sweetened with sugar and also includes 20% orange juice.  I also found out that it can be called IVI Carbonated Orangeade as well.  I’m going to use that from here on out just to help out the search engines.  Thanks website!  Heck they even have a Youtube video on here showing you how it’s made.  Maybe I’ll check that out after this review.  As for now, I have a somewhat less mysterious soda to drink.

I’m not sure how carbonated this is supposed to be, but it has little to none.  I’m going to go ahead and attribute this to the long distance it travelled being shaken all the way.  Hopefully the taste will still be delightful enough for a good review, but I will definitely factor in that it might actually have carbonation if consumed directly from the store.

Ok, so there is the slightest touch of carbonation, which tells me that IVI Carbonated Orangeade usually has more.  As for the taste, I really like it.  The orange juice and orange soda mixture is done perfectly combining the best of both drinks beautifully.  The sweetness of the orange soda leaves your mouth very pleased with what it’s consuming, but the orange juice almost tricks your brain into thinking what you’re consuming is healthy.  As I was trying to figure out how many grams of sugar are in this (39g btw) I found that IVI Carbonated Orangeade is a Pepsi-Co product.  I thought that website looked pretty fancy for it not to be attached to one of the big two.  I’ve tasted carbonated orange juice before when I reviewed Orangina and I must say that IVI Carbonated Orangeade is the better of the two.  Now you’ll probably find Orangina a bit more easily in the states, but if for some reason you travel to a place that has them both, maybe Santa Paula, California Citrus or Ganzhou, Jiangxi, China… you should probably chose the IVI.  While I truly enjoy this beverage I’m going to stop drinking it because I’m not really sure when, or if, it has expired.  If it hasn’t expired then it’s a fantastic beverage that will fulfill any want or need for oranges you might have… minus vitamin C of course.  Now if this bottle of IVI Carbonated Orangeade has indeed expired then I’m not sure my tongue could stand to see what it tasted like “fresh”.  For now though I’m going to grade it on the flavor and mouth feel I just experienced.  Know that this rating is probably lower than it deserves, but until I crack open a brand new bottle it’ll have to work.

~A

Nothing is Greek to Twist.

GolferAID

I know less about playing golf than every single one of our readers combined.  With that last sentence in mind you’ll understand why I was a bit hesitant to take on this review of GolferAID.  GolferAID is tagged as “The World’s Most Advanced Functional Golf Beverage”.  It’s sweetened with 9 grams of blue agave and has 3 grams of supplements.  Heck even on the back of the can it diagrams which ingredients help you with what.  For example it says that Glucosamine promotes joint health, and that Magnesium lessens muscle fatigue.  Bilberries, which I didn’t even know existed, apparently improve your visual acuity and balance.  Of course at the bottom in small print they have the legalese that the statements above haven’t been evaluated by the FDA… if this bothers you then so be it, if not so be it again. 

Ok, so GolferAID is chock full of golfy goodness.  I told the nice man who sent me this that I didn’t really care what it did for my nonexistent golf game.  All I cared about was how it tasted; I mean it is a soda after all.  He assured me that they would “take the Pepsi challenge with our drink against anything out there.”  Those are some bold words for a drink that at a glance I would call a golf energy drink.  Now maybe I’m wrong; this site has only reviewed 300+ drinks and while that seems like a large number on paper I bet it’s not even 2% of all the sodas out there.  So let’s get out on the green and tip back this can of 100% Natural GolferAID and see if it aces or bogeys.  Hopefully for your sake with that last sentence I’ve now exhausted all of my golf lingo

The scent to me is definitely citrus in origin.  Grapefruit is what it most closely resembles, but I’m not completely sure of even that.  Looking for the grapefruit in the ingredients I notice that stevia is also in here… sneaky, sneaky stevia.  Aside from the grapefruit aroma I’m also reminded of a protein shake.  By no means am I saying this will taste powdery and chalky, but the scent of GolferAID isn’t the most welcoming in the world.  On with the drinking!

Better than I thought it’d be.  The End.  While I can name several sodas on our site that would destroy this in the “Pepsi challenge” as far as supplemental beverages go it seems to be one of the better we’ve tried.  Of course “lifestyle beverages”, as we call them, do not get a free pass in terms of flavor so we’ll see how well it does in the long haul.  The initial taste is the worst part of your journey through GolferAID.  You’re greeted with a quick bitter slap in the mouth before it fades away creating a grapefruit-esque atmosphere in your gullet.  The carbonation level is almost non-existent due to the fact that they used agave to sweeten.  While I’m sure not being bloated on bubbles is beneficial to your golf game, I think that a bit more fizz to GolferAID would help its overall experience quite a bit. 

It’s sad to say the more I drink it the less I like it.  The flavor left on my lips is a pleasant one, but each gulp is becoming a bit more tasking.  Every sip reminds me I’m drinking what is basically a healthy energy drink.  Sure it has wonderful ingredients, but that doesn’t mean as much if a good taste isn’t attached to it.  I always want beverage companies to succeed in their craft, but on taste alone GolferAID doesn’t do that.  Maybe it’ll help you with your golf game, I’m not here to debate that point.  I’m here to tell you that if given the choice I’d pick a more delicious golf drink… SLICE!  See what I did there was take a non-golf drink with a golf term name and made a joke to tie the article all together.  Genius.

~A

(Note:  This beverage was supplied to us by GolferAID)

Twist was the secret founder of St Andrews

Refreshe - Lemon Lime

I like generic store brand soda… well, I like the idea of them.  Here’s this soda that a grocery store chain is putting out there.  They are doing this for one of two reasons.  They either want the generic soda at hand to compete and be favored over the mainstream counterpart, or they just want to make a quick buck in the soda game.  Today I’m giving Safeway store brand soda a try once again, but this time around they seem to be a bit more fancy.  Before the can would just say the flavor with a fun graphic now I’m greeted with the word “refreshe”.  I’m pretty sure they used the word “refreshe” (in all lowercase letters mind you… because that’s more hip) to look the part of a snazzy soda.  The flavor, Lemon Lime, is titled on the lower portion of the can in a pop-art blob.  The can itself is green with equally retro looking designs as well.  Just look at the picture.  The tale here is that they’re trying to at least look like an upscale soda while maintaining the price of a generic one.  This refreshe Lemon Lime is sweetened with HFCS and filled with an assortment of other chemicals.  I feel as if I’ve already dedicated too many words to refreshe Lemon Lime, but hopefully it’s about to prove me wrong.

It has about ¾ of the scent 7up does, but I will note that the carbonation is so prevalent that I can easily hear it.  Putting my ear closer I can even hear some larger bubbles getting into the mix.  Drinking time!

Better than expected, but nothing to write home about.  It has a smoother mouth feel than 7up does which makes it kind of forgettable after each sip is finished.  The aftertaste is a bit stickier much like Sprite.  I’ll tell you right now “those of you who haven’t read all 300+ articles” that I dislike Sprite BECAUSE of that very aftertaste.  The flavor itself differs slightly from both as I feel you can taste more of the lime in this than you can in any of the big 3 Lemon/Lime sodas.  It’s not so strong that it sets refreshe Lemon Lime apart from anyone, but I felt it was worth noting so that’s something.  Going back to the first couple of sentences that are written in this review, I’d have to say that this is just Safeway trying to make a buck in the soda biz while trying to look like they’re making a unique beverage at the same time.  If you like Sprite or 7up and don’t want to spend as much on soda then refreshe Lemon Lime is for you.  If you’re looking for a whole ‘nother experience when it comes to the Lemon Lime soda genre, then be prepared for a can full of “meh”.

~A

The extra "e" is for "extra e"

Howdy - Lemon Lime

Howdy!  Not hello, hi, how are you, ‘sup, or anything else.  I’ve greeted people this way for years now.  Heck I said it so much it was my nickname for a while.  Some might say it’s because I’m a Texan, but a lot of Texan’s don’t say “Howdy”.  I guess it sounds just a bit too country for them.  My grandfather used to say “Howdy Do”, which of course is short for “How do you do?”  I’ve always felt that “Howdy” sounded friendlier than other greetings and my time at Texas A&M proved that to me.  People would greet one another on campus with a friendly “Howdy” even if the recipient was a stranger.  So you see, whenever you label something with the word “Howdy” you’re already in my good graces.  Today’s soda, once again supplied to us by Old 52, is Howdy Lemon Lime.  From the research I’ve done I learned that Howdy Lemon Lime is the original 7up formula.  The bottle even says “The Taste that made Lemon Lime Famous”.  Frequent or observant readers of the site may remember that 7up is my favorite lemon-lime soda of the big 3.  So now we have a soda with one of my all-time favorite words that’s also the original formula for one of my favorite mainstream lemon lime sodas.  Howdy has been around since 1920 and of course is made with pure cane sugar.  Enough chatter, this green glass bottle is starting to sweat out of nervousness that I’m not going to drink it.

Howdy Lemon Lime has a strong citrusy aroma.  My nose can sense that this may be sourer than I originally thought.  The sweetness lilts in my nose after the sour has dissipated.  Congratulations Howdy, your scent has made me thirsty. 

There is certainly more lime in here than I bargained for and I love it.  So often when a soda is labeled with being flavored lemon-lime you get a generic citrus taste where each flavor can’t be discerned.  Howdy Lemon Lime breaks that mold and allows you to taste both the lemon and the lime individually.  I’m sure using lime juice and lime oil help this cause tremendously as it’s the lemon that’s usually too overpowering for its green brethren.  Carbonation wise it fizzes just enough to tickle the tonsils (or back of the throat if you’re tonsil free) on its way down.  Lime steps out first shocking your senses, making you wonder about lemon.  As lime drifts away lemon steps up and socks you in the face leaving you licking your lips tasting the sour fruit.  Howdy Lemon Lime both improves my mood and makes me sad.  I’m happy for all of the reasons listed above.  I’m saddened because this is what 7up could have been today.  With all that said color me pleased to have tasted Howdy Lemon Lime.

~A

Twist says "Howdy", do you?

Lemmy Sparkling Lemonade

I didn’t feel like thinking today so the soda I picked should make for a simple review.  Again we dip into the stash sent to us by Old 52 General Store.  From said stash I have pulled out Lemmy Sparkling Lemonade.  This should be easy, right?  Lemmy has been around since 1939, and judging by the art style their creepy lemon mascot has made that journey right along with them.  A couple of notes about the ingredients, it is noted that Lemmy is both made with cane sugar and real lemon juice.  So perhaps the drop of drool coming out of the creepy mascot lemon’s mouth is warranted.  I may make several more mentions of this creepy mascot, who I can only assume is Lemmy, but I’d still happily tote some merchandise with him on it.  The side of the bottle reads as such:  Since 1939 Lemmy is the original sparkling lemonade drink.  For the taste of fresh squeezed lemons, just say “Lemme have a Lemmy”.  Now that the bottle has told us what to expect flavor wise I think it’s time to find out if Lemmy is a liar.

Lemmy Sparkling Lemonade both looks and smells like lemonade.  That’s an insanely boring sentence, but it is what it is.  I will say that it’s a rather fresh burst of lemon that you get when you smell the bottle opening; hopefully the flavor is equally enjoyable.

They should call this “Shimmering Lemonade” instead of “Sparkling Lemonade” as the carbonation level is very low.  I’m not even sure most would realize this was carbonated at all if it didn’t say so on the bottle.  Only at the end of each swig do the carbonation bubbles make an appearance, lightly dancing on my molars.  The lemonade flavor is just that.  I wouldn’t say that this tastes like fresh squeezed lemons, as that would be much tarter than Lemmy tastes.  Then again I’ve never understood why any beverage would say that it tasted like fresh squeezed lemons… oranges maybe, but lemons?  You’d be drinking straight lemon juice, and that’d be pretty terrible after a while for most.  Thankfully Lemmy tastes like above average lemonade.  Lemmy’s tart to sweet ratio is right on the money, neither one outdoing the other.  Overall Lemmy gets the job done.  It’s nice to drink on a warm November day like today (82 degrees btw), or a cool November night like tonight (low of 48).  I like Lemmy more than I initially thought I would.  I wasn’t expecting lemonade of this quality, and even though the bubbles are few and far between they do just enough to set this apart from normal lemonade.  Way to go Lemmy!  Now stop looking at me like that.

~A

One guess where Lemmy got that pose.

Big Shot - Pineapple Blue Bayou

I just finished serving on a jury.  This is why the reviews haven’t been happening quite as often, there I’ve made my excuse.  While most would think that Jury Duty might be a miserable experience mine was quite the opposite.  I was fortunate enough to spend time with 11 other people who I would consider genuinely great people.  Yes I only spent 4 days with them, but I was impressed by them all… especially the one that gave me the soda I’m reviewing today.  “Juror Number Cool” is what I’ll call her and I must thank her now for giving me this bottle of soda called Big Shot.  The full name of this particular flavor is Big Shot – Pineapple Blue Bayou, so we might be in for some surprise. 

Big Shot is apparently a popular brand in New Orleans, Nawlins, The Big Easy, Crescent City, The City that Care Forgot, Hollywood South, and many other nicknames I didn’t see looking at Wikipedia.  It appears, after doing a bit of research, that their slogan is “Even if you don’t have a million bucks, let’em know you’re a big shot!”  Saddly this is not on the label.  To offset this sadness is the face of Big Shot… insert name here if he actually had one.  The face of Big Shot looks like a combination of W.C. Fields and Charlie Chaplin.  I immediately want merchandise with The Face of Big Shot on it.  Along with said face and name of drink are the flavors of Pineapple Blue Bayou.  I’m about to consume this blue liquid that is the flavor combination of oranges, pineapple, and coconut.  I’m not going to bother listing the ingredients for you as it’s just a bunch of chemicals.  With that said I think I’ve given a somewhat flushed out description of the 24oz bottle at hand.  If my description confused you… well then just look at the picture below, silly goose.  On with the review!

This impossibly blue liquid smells like a combo of fruit stripe gum and orange cream soda.  I’m now happily anticipating my first drink and happy that all the chemicals they put in this bottle didn’t just singe all three of my chest hairs.  On with the fun.

Big Shot – Pineapple Blue Bayou is certainly an assortment of flavors.  The first thing I taste is what seems to be a glimpse into the flavor of orange; this is followed by the sweet tang of pineapple with coconut being your eventual aftertaste.  The coconut flavor hits your palate so very late in the game that if you were to drink this and not write sentences in between each swig I’m not sure you’d get to experience it.  Coconut is the guy in the race that crosses the finish line after everyone else.  No one is looking for him except his parents, and they’re even averting their eyes somewhat due to his failure at running.  All of these flavors are held together with sweet, sweet, chemicals.  Ok, I’ve made mention of the chemicals three or four times now.  I’m going to redeem this bottle of Big Shot just a smidge by telling you two of the non-chemical ingredients.  Orange juice concentrate, and pineapple juice… there I said it.  While Big Shot – Pineapple Blue Bayou is exactly what your grandparents are referring to when they use the term “sugar water”, it’s not completely full of chemicals.  While I enjoyed this bottle of BS-PBB (I got tired of typing the full name out so I wrote this even longer sentence explaining the abbreviation, thus making it pointless) it’s not a flavor I have to have.  If I was on my way somewhere, NOLA maybe, and I stopped at a gas station… sure I’d pick up a bottle for the road.  I’m not going to stock my fridge with it though.  That doesn’t mean I’m giving up on the Big Shot line, in fact I’m going to make it a point to try all of their flavors.  Thanks Juror Number Cool!

~A

Faux Fact:  Twist was once a Deputy in New Orleans.

Jones Soda Orange & Cream

Another Jones flavor I probably should have tasted years ago is the victim today, to be more specific the flavor at hand is Orange & Cream Soda.  Orange & Cream is a flavor I’ve liked in the past so I can only assume that I’ll like it in this instance as well.  For those of you wondering who can’t see the picture under the article, which should be none of you, this label of Jones Soda has one of those merry-go-rounds you’d find on a playground.  I was that kid who liked the effects of getting dizzy a bit too much, so naturally I loved these whirl-a-ma-gigs.  Hopefully this Jones Orange & Cream Soda won’t make me as nauseous as a spin-a-ka-doodle in the park, but there’s only one way to find out.

It certainly does smell both orange and creamy so I guess we can say the flavor is truth up to this point.  The orange aroma is slightly stronger than the creamy, but I think the flavor will prove otherwise… or at least I hope it does.  Another odd flavor wafts from the top of this bottle, and maybe it’s just me here, but it smells a bit like stewed baby carrots.  I’ve had this “problem” before in sodas where I could taste cooked baby carrots (something I’m not fond of) so this may just be a mental issue of some sort.  Nevertheless, I must truck on regardless!

First off, upon drinking Jones Orange & Cream soda I do get a slight baby carrot taste.  This taste is nothing compared to the one I first tasted in Blue Sky’s Dr. Becker, so it won’t be considered the lone downfall of this beverage.  Secondly, this is one of the least creamy sodas I’ve had that included the words “CREAM SODA” in its flavor description.  This mostly tastes of orange which I understand since it’s the primary flavor of the soda, but it could be improved so very much if it were considerably smoother.  Each sip I take in leaves me with an aftertaste I’m not thrilled with as well.  The carbonation plays a larger role than I’d like, taking away from even initially taking away from what could be a decent orange flavor.  This is the point in the review where I tell you how surprised I am at how little this is blowing me away.  Where Jones Green Apple is a torrential hurricane, Jones Orange & Cream would sadden a kite flyer of any age.  I thought about giving this a lower rating, but my opinion of Jones Orange & Cream at this point is very much “meh”.  Not negative mind you, just… meh.

~A

Twist is creamier than this.

IZZE Sparkling Clementine

As much as we liked the IZZE brand when we first started this site, we sure haven’t reviewed many of their flavors.  I’m going to correct this action by reviewing on right this second.  IZZE Sparkling Clementine is up to bat and I have a feeling it’ll do just fine.  You see, IZZE is an all-natural soda composed of fruit juice (apple, white grape, orange, and clementine) and sparkling water.  In this case they also have some Citric Acid, Gum Arabic, and Beta Carotene (for color), but something tells me the flavor is still going to be fantastic.  I love clementine oranges due to their flavor, tiny size, and easy peel-ability.  With all that said, I think it’s about time to open the bottle.

This smells a lot like orange juice which shouldn’t be surprising as orange juice is one of the ingredients.  I just figured I would have the sweeter clementine aroma greet my olfactory glands when I opened this bottle.  Hopefully this won’t taste like carbonated OJ as I’ve had that before and I’m looking for something a little different.

The initial flavor attacked my tongue in such a way that I wasn’t sure what to think.  It reminds me a lot of what orange punch would taste like.  I think I’m mostly tasting the orange and white grape juice here and that’s confusing my mouth just a bit.  The carbonation level of IZZE Sparkling Clementine is fairly low, comprised of tiny bursts of tingle that last throughout the drinking experience.  Tingle(s) are actually measured in bursts, I’m not sure if you knew that so I figured now would be the best time to tell you.  I really wanted this drink to be sweeter… like a clementine.  The orange/white grape juice is too overpowering for the clementine juice to be fully appreciated.  Looking back at the label I see that this bottle of IZZE is equal to two servings of fruit based on the USDA’s Dietary Guidelines, impressive!  While I like everything IZZE is about I feel they missed the boat a little on their Sparkling Clementine beverage.  If they could mute the citrusy orange flavor a bit and raise the sweet clementine flavor this would be an outstanding soda.  Until that happens (and unless they read my reviews and take my advice like I actually know something… which I doubt they will) I’m going to have rate this lower than I’d like. 

~A

Faux Fact:  The IZZE logo is based off of Twist's inner child.

Fentimans Rose Lemonade

Ever been caught serving your guests lemonade WITHOUT roses?  Well never be embarrassed again with Fentimans Traditional Rose Lemonade.  Frentimans Traditional Rose Lemonade comes in the classically stylish standard Fentimans bottle, multiple dog heads included!  Each and every bottle of Fentimans is jam-packed, not with jam silly, but with the following ingredients:  Carbonated water, lemon juice concentrate, cane sugar, glucose syrup, fermented ginger root extracts, pear juice concentrate, lemon flavoring, citric acid, tantaric acid, natural color, and rose oil!  Wait there’s more!  If you like sediment then Fentimans Rose Lemonade is for you!  There’s so much sediment in there I’m getting SEDI-MENTAL!  Seriously folks you need to be aware of this product.  Let’s take a call and see what they think of Fentimans Rose Lemonade.  Caller, go ahead!

Justin Casey Falls - “After I done opened it I stuck my schnozz down in that bottle hole and smelled up something mighty powerful.  I reckon if I had to describe it like one of them high paid reviewers I’d say that it was like a lemon that been mixed with them thar chemicals you use to clean yer house.”

Thank you caller.  Well folks it’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for… the taste test.  We’ve selected seven children to tell us what they think of Fentimans Rose Lemonade.  Take it away kids!

Morton – My tongue feels all sour after drinking it.

Larry – The little bubbles tickled my mouth… I wish it tickled my mouth more.  Why are you laughing?

Roy – I thought this drink would be all chewy but I haven’t chewed a bit.

Lemmy – The more I drink it the better it gets!

Wendy – Are you sure this isn’t a drink for adults?

Ludwig – I like no-rose lemonade better.

Iggy - While the initial sour blast takes over your mouth it quickly allows the other flavors to make their presence known.  Each sip allows your palate to become more accustomed to the tartness this lemonade brings, and while it is most certainly different from normal lemonade I really wouldn’t mind trying this again.  It’s quite unique.

There you have it folks the kids have spoken!  If I’d just heard testimonials like that I think I’d pick up the phone and…

~A

Faux Fact - Twist used to the operator of a 1-900 number

Mello Yello

As many of you know I’m from Texas, and I’m just mad about Saffron.  This is an important fact to consider for the review today.  You see, I’m reviewing Mello Yello.  Mello Yello is a very mainstream brand and many of you may be wondering why I’m just now picking up a can to review.  So why have I, Aaron the Texan, decided that Mello Yello was important enough to review?  For whatever reason, Mello Yello has been nearly impossible to find in Texas for several years now.  It’s almost like Coke just kind of gave up on ever taking the market back from Mountain Dew.  I’m sure bringing it “back” to Texas was just a move that was fueled by money, but part of me thinks that SunDrop’s rise to national distribution might have had to do something with it as well.  For those of you not in the “kno”, Mello Yello is Coke’s version of Mountain Dew.  That’s the easiest way to explain what they were trying to go for when Coke created it.  It’s made with chemicals, orange juice concentrate, and now sits in a snazzy looking retro can in front of me.  I do love the can art by the way.  If there is one thing that Mello Yello has already beaten Mountain Dew and SunDrop on… it’s the can art.  So very simple, so very classic in styling, so very yello.  I mean, yellow.  I think it’s time to get this review started… quite rightly.

At first whiff Mello Yello puts off a scent more akin to Sprite than that of Mountain Dew.  However when I give it the old college try and breathe in a bit more the familiar scent of mixed citrus is what prevails.  Let’s see how well they compare in flavor.

Oh this will be easy!  Mello Yello is watered down Mountain Dew.  See ya next week folks!

~A

Ok, so maybe I should expound on this statement a little first.  If SunDrop or Mountain Dew didn’t exist then Mello Yello would be fantastic.  The fact that they do though makes you immediately compare each to another allowing us to not settle for a lesser soda which in this case is Mello Yello.  With each sip of Mello Yello you experience a rather flavorless journey until you near the end of it.  It’s almost as if they tried too hard to be refreshing and in doing so lost anything unique and fun about their beverage.  Only at the end of each gulp/sip/drink do you get the hit of citrus you probably expected since the beginning.  In the “Points For” category, I can identify several of the citrus flavors they used in making this, but the flavor overall is still a disappointment.  The carbonation works well with the flavor it’s given, but I honestly don’t care at this point. 

If any of you think I’m being too harsh on Mello Yello then know it’s with great sorrow that I do so.  One of my favorite advertising campaigns was that of Mello Yello.  Jim Varney, better known as Ernest P. Worrell, is still to this day only one of three celebrity deaths I’ve actually been saddened by in my time on Earth.  Sure the Ernest movies became overly stupid as they continued on, but the man made me laugh as a child and now as an adult.  During that time that he was making people laugh he was a spokesman for the “Make the Mello Yello Move” campaign.  To this day I can watch these commercials and enjoy them to the same degree I did as a child, if not more so.  I want to like this drink.  Ernest liked this drink, or was at least paid to.  I’m going to watch a couple of these ads, three of them actually, and see if it doesn’t improve upon my opinion of Mello Yello.  Be right back! 

Sigh….not even the great Jim Varney could sway my vote, and now  I’m more depressed than ever.  Back to the review.

Like I noted earlier the can art is awesome.  The can art hands down beats the competitors.  Let’s me focus on the can art for a moment and hopefully that will get me out of this funk.  The design on this Mello Yello can seems to harken back to simpler times.  Simpler Times, when a Peanut Farmer was President, when a stamp cost you 15 cents, and when a gallon of gas was under a dollar.  Guess what?  I wasn’t alive back then so the retro can is unable to work its magics on me.  Mello Yello is watered down Mountain Dew.  KnowwhatImean?

~A

I'll probably be snuffed out for telling you this, but it's too important not to.  Twist. Is. Vern.

MTN Dew Voltage

At the time I bought this bottle of Mtn Dew Voltage I was running out of drinks… I still am but that’s beside the point.  I’ve never really been into the whole crazy Mtn Dew flavors thing, but I respect what they’re doing.  What caught my attention to this bottle of Mtn Dew Voltage (which this point on will be called simply “Voltage”) was the fact that it contains Ginseng.  Voltage immediately starts to slide down the grading scale with the words “Charged with Raspberry Citrus Flavor…” on the side.  First off this drink is blue and a primary flavor is Raspberry.  I dislike the idea of blue raspberry anything.  Secondly what is a “Raspberry Citrus” flavor?  To find that out I guess I actually have to consume it.  Alright then.  Here we go!

Voltage smells as if you crushed up a bunch of blue raspberry SweeTarts and mixed it with the appropriate ratio of water.  Needless to say I’m not impressed.  I will say that the lightning bolt on the side of the bottle keeps catching my eye though.  So much power.  So much responsibility.  Let’s see if this will live up to its responsibility like Spiderman or fail miserably like Spiderman 3.

Rushed Venom, Emo-Peter Parker, and Kirsten Dunst as Mary Jane… that’s what ran through my head as I finished taking that sip.  So much disappointment.  Voltage hit’s your mouth with a small shock of carbonation leading up to a taste that can only be described as chemical.  I’m sure there are other descriptive terms I could have used but I had to say there wasn’t for dramatic effect.  The blue raspberry fights with the ginseng on who will be the most prominent flavor while Citrus sits in the corner shouting.  Ultimately my mouth declares them all losers and tries to drink its problems away only finding that the nearest drink is more Voltage.  Such a vicious cycle.  This is the first Mtn Dew beverage that tastes like a mediocre to bad energy drink.  I like original Mtn Dew (although Sun Drop is better), I like Code Red, and I like Pitch Black, but this is not worth finishing.  The only reason I’m not going to rate this Do Not Buy is because I could actually finish it if I wanted to.  WHY DID I JUST TAKE ANOTHER SIP?!  WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!

~A

Oddly enough if Twist puts his tongue to it, the bottle will be shocked.

Kickapoo Joy Juice

Another beverage given to me by the MMAgician and hailing from Singapore is Kickapoo Joy Juice.  Judging by the green and yellow coloration of the can I’m going to assume this is similar to a Mountain Dew (or MTN DEW) product.  Now on the can and this where it gets weird, are two characters from the now defunct comic strip Li’l Abner.  Character number one is “Lonesome Polecat”.  Lonesome Polecat is drawn how you would think a Native American would be drawn back when Li’l Abner was a comic strip.  That would be from 1934-1977 for reference.  The second character in charge of making this Kickapoo Joy Juice is “Hairless Joe”.  Hairless Joe is a caveman that lives in modern times.  He’s got a giant club, a leopard skin outfit, and even though his name suggests it he is most certainly not hairless.  Now that you know the cast of characters let me tell you what they’re doing on this logo.  Lonesome Polecat and Hairless Joe seem to be sitting in a tub of Kickapoo Joy Juice that has created an explosion so large (a mushroom cloud is visible) that they have rocketed themselves out of Earth’s orbit.  Underneath said picture read the words “Original USA Joy Juice Recipe”.  So at least we know we’re getting the real deal here.  The ingredients are as follows, Carbonated Water, Sucrose, Citric Acid, Sodium Citrate, Stabilizers (what?), Flavouring, Preservative, Colour E102, and Caffeine.  With all that said, let’s try out some of Lonesome Polecat and Hairless Joe’s mixture… which according to the Li’l Aber Wiki page is made in a cave.

As I assumed this is certainly a Mountain Dew-esque beverage, or at least the smell would have me believe that.  If I had to pick a scent which stands out over the other citrus aromas that are escaping the can I’d go with lemon.  Time to hopefully enjoy my 10.9 fluid ounces of Kickapoo Joy Juice!

The top of this can reads “Get That Kick!” and I certainly would have loved to have “Gotten it” but it’s not in the cards for Kickapoo Joy Juice.  Kickapoo Joy Juice, which I enjoy typing out, tastes like a diluted Mountain Dew.  If it were just a diluted Mountain Dew I could probably sign off on it fairly easily but there’s more.  With every drink there’s another flavor, sorry, flavour that sits on your tongue like a fat cat sits on a warm windowsill.  While this flavour isn’t horrible it is unmoving and very noticeable to me.  The rest of your mouth becomes a moderately fun party with each sip and your tongue is the grouchy neighbor downstairs who keeps ruining it through various means… and begin scene using characters from Zelda.

Link - “Hey guys!  Ummmm, no one could really make it to the party today, so I’m glad you came.  Want to drag out the old pop-o-matic bubble for a rousing game of Trouble?”

**knock knock knock** 

“Oh hi officer, what can I do for you?” 

Officer Armos - “We got a call from the Old Man downstairs saying that you were making far too much noise up here.”

Link – “But we were just about to play a bo….”

Officer Armos – “I don’t really care; just keep it down would you?”

Link – “Ok, sorry [closes door].  So where were we?

Zelda – “Actually Link I think Ganon and I are gonna head out.

Link – “…but he’s going to kidna… nevermind.  Just make sure he doesn’t get all feely with your triforce.”

Aaaand scene!  Ok, that example that went on for too long was more enjoyable than the flavor that is still sitting on my tongue.  I guess the best way to describe Kickapoo Joy Juice is this.  Kickapoo Joy Juice is a soda.  It’s nothing special in the slightest but still consumable.

~A

Twist actually starred in Li'l Abner between the years 1943-1945.

Maine Root Lemon Lime

Ok, I may discredit myself as a soda review by saying this but… lemon lime soda is boring.  Wait, wait, wait!  Don’t leave just yet; let me explain.  A good lime soda isn’t boring, in fact it’s one of my most coveted sodas.  A good lemon soda… well I haven’t really had one to write home about yet, but it’d be unique.  Lemon Lime soda though… well in my opinion has the biggest chance to be a very boring soda.  It’s so overdone and the flavor is never anything spectacular.  Sure I love 7up, but I’m not going to shove a bottle into your hand unless I find out you’re sick.  Sure I tolerate Sierra Mist, but I’m not going to force you to drink it unless you want the clear carbonated liquid from Taco Bell.  Sure I don’t really like Sprite.  Wait for it… nothing.  So today I’m giving Maine Root (a highly ranked soda company by our standards) a chance with their Maine Root Lemon Lime Soda.  Already looking through the bottle I can tell you that this has a ridiculous amount of sediment.  I’m looking at pieces so large I could literally chew them.  Already Maine Root Lemon Lime Soda has taken a turn for the unique, a place few lemon lime sodas ever go.  Let’s smell it shall we?

My nostrils greet a familiar smell.  This smells like lemon lime Twang.  Now I’m sure I’ve mentioned Twang in a past review but I’m feeling far too lazy to search for it at this moment.  If the word “integer” is a link in this sentence then you’ll know I became un-lazy and found it.  As I was saying the scent coming from this bottle is a very sharp and sour lemon lime aroma.  Honestly I’m excited!  Hopefully here goes something!

Wow this does taste a little like Twang, but without the instant throat fire.  It’s like a super lemon lime soda that allows you to taste the individual lemon and lime flavors.  The carbonation factor works well with the taste and burns you just a little bit more after you’re done with your sip.  I really thought I’d be able to feel the sediment drifting down my gullet on each sip much like I would experience in a Boba tea… or the ill-fated Orbitz.  Since I wrote that last sentence you should easily deduce that I can’t feel the sediment at all.  Hooray for no icky sediment feeling!  All in all this is a great lemon lime soda, and while I wouldn’t say it completely makes my “lemon lime is boring” argument null and void it does a lot for its own cause.

~A

Lemon Lime Iguana Goodness!