Who is Mike?

There’s only one other person out there that can claim to be a “Soda Jerk”, and his name is Mike. That is of course ignoring everyone who actually held the position at a soda fountain, but you know what I mean.

On March 25, 2008, Mike came over to watch some anime and eat pizza. I’d mentioned to him that I saw a four pack of root beer at the grocery store earlier that day for $8, which seemed unbelievable to me. Mike said we should go get it. What if it’s the best root beer we’ve ever had?

It was. Virgil’s Root Beer (the formula they used in 2008) was the BEST root beer we’d ever had. I was so surprised and upset with myself that I almost didn’t try it because the price was a little higher than I expected. I thought we should tell people about it. Mike suggested we start a soda review site and I registered it on LiveJournal that night and wrote up the Virgil review. Eventually we moved the site to where it is now and the rest is history.

Mike stopped writing reviews a decade ago. Life got busy, as it often does, and passions change. Either way we’ll always have his review of Extenze Male Enhancement Soda.

Crush Peach

How did we not review Crush Peach? Have we finally reached the point that something fairly common on grocery store shelves isn't good enough for us? Probably not. Honestly it's so common at this point I thought we already did it.

I got Crush Peach the other night, again, thinking I was the one of us that did not have it yet, however was wrong. Now that you know the riveting back story on this, allow me to cut to the chase: this is the best peach soda I've had.

Orange Crush is my favorite (chemical filled) orange soda, so I only expected the best from this, and it delivered. For some reason, despite Orange Crush's mild carbonation, I was worried that this would have heavier bubbles. That seems to be a trend with peach sodas, or at least my memory is telling me that. Thankfully this has mild carbonation like orange crush.

Of course there is really no way for me to tell since I've already had it, however I think that if you were someone really into soda (or at least really into Orange Crush) you'd actually be able to tell this was a Crush soda. There's just something about the combination of sweetness levels, the slight "tang" in the flavor, and as mentioned the carbonation, that makes me think of Crush. 

So, yeah, it's great. Peach soda was kind of a novelty to me before, since there really wasn't a good go-to for me. Now with Crush Peach, this becomes as normal a flavor choice as an orange soda.

- Mike E.

Simple Truth Blood Orange

Kroger, a somewhat larger grocery store chain, has recently started pushing their organic products, which they're labeling "Simple Truth." Until yesterday when someone brought me a bottle of their Blood Orange so...er, sparkling beverage, I had no idea they were branching out this far.

The ingredient list is fantastic: sparkling water, cane sugar, apple and blood orange juices from concentrate are at the start. Nothing concerning after, in fact the coloring is from additional fruit and vegetable juices. Even the front of the bottle boasts "Free from 101 artificial preservatives & ingredients." To be fair, it is probably free of many more than 101, as I'm certain there are more than 101 ingredients in the world, but maybe they mean in comparison to your normal blood orange soda. Not that that's a normal thing.

Which is where my initial concern came in. I'm not a huge fan of "alternate" orange sodas, like tangerine. At one point Minute Maid had, if I recall correctly, a tangerine orange soda, and not standard orange, and it was terrible. It was like a dry orange soda. Hardly sweet with a dull orange flavor. Thankfully, the Simple Truth Blood Orange is far, far from that.

I don't know if you're familiar with "Slush Puppie," but they're a brand of slushes sold in schools. Sure, lots of schools have full-blown fast food restaurants in them now, but ours did not. The only fancy thing we had was a Slush Puppie machine. I never once bought my lunch at school cause, well, that's disgusting, and they hardly gave you any food, but I would often partake in a Slush Puppie. 

Getting to the point, my favorite flavor was orange, and I would drink it though the straw, but I would bite down, making sure I only got the syrup and none of the tiny ice chunks. No joke, this tastes just like that. I'm sure that the Slush Puppie had a few more than 101 artificial preservatives and ingredients, though.

So, yeah, this is good stuff, and it makes me excited to try some other Simple Truth products. Now I understand why the person who gave me this said they drank the other three prior that day.

-M

Nice! Refreshing Cola

All I can think about when I drink Nice! Cola is that scene from Wayne's World where they're trying out the green screen. They're pretending to be in all these places and then they get to Delaware and suddenly they’re really bored.

Nice! Cola is Delaware. It’s not bad, it’s just nothing remarkable. I don’t even know if I’d call it average, it’s just...there.

If there is a “water” of colas, this is it. I don’t even know if bland is the right word to use. It has flavor, and it is cola flavor. It’s almost as if it is surrounded by a force field that prevents it from being the cola it could be, and instead just gives you the tiniest bit of cola flavor. Not watered down, just not very prominent.

This is probably a prime example of why the review scale here is the way it is. You need to try this, just so you can understand what I’m talking about. After that, never, ever buy one of these again.

-Mike

Nice! Grape

Even if you haven't had hundreds of sodas in your life, sometimes when you pick up a drink you just know what it's going to be like. Let's use something like, oh, I don't know, Nice Grape as an example.

To me there are two types of grape soda: sweet or not as sweet. The sweet kind tastes like they may have put a bit too much syrup in there. Like you can actually taste grape syrup. I probably prefer that. Secondly there is the not as sweet, which tastes like maybe there's too much carbonated water in there, and may be a bit too bubbly.

Thankfully this falls into the former category, and doesn't have much carbonation going on. Sadly, that's about all there is to say on this one. As with the other Nice! beverages, it's filled with chemicals. The only way I could recommend this is if you want a cheap grape soda at a Walgreens. All three of you. 

-Mike

Boom Chugga Lugga Cherry Soda Pop

Buckle up, kids.

While I have full intention of finishing up the oh-so-exciting reviews of the Nice! line-up of drinks from Walgreens, a mysterious third party that we'll call Y has provided a mysterious second party that we'll call W with a selection of five sodas from what is probably one of the most ridiculous named beverage organizations I have heard of: Boom Chugga Lugga.

This is the kind of thing that makes you embarrassed to order it. Like this local place that sells veggie burgers called the "No Meat Please!" No sale. Or like when Raising Cane's drive-thru attendant says "chicken, chicken, chicken, which one are you pickin'?" and you just sigh and drive away.

These folks have a theme, at least, and that is bears and cherries. Thankfully they all have some sort of cherry flavor to them, and not bear. Oh, and I should mention that these are Michigan cherries. I didn't even know that was a thing. 

Anyway, as a sneak preview of what is to come in these reviews, I figured I'd start with just the basic cherry. 

Wow. Wow wow wow.

For a long time my favorite fruit-flavored soda has been the Key Lime from Stewart's. No more. 

This is amazing. It's both perfectly sweet and tart. The cherry flavor is crazy bold and the carbonation is the right amount of light to make it smooth but still enhance the tartness.

Sadly, I'll have to add this caveat every time: sodium benzoate, along with a vague "natural and artificial flavors" listing tacked on behind cherry juice concentrate and "pure sugar." Bummer.

Still, I am super impressed, and beyond excited to try the rest of these. There is one in particular I have very high hopes for. I honestly haven't been this excited to write about soda since the early days when a crazy person like me could go into a grocery store and there would be at least one soda I hadn't had.

-Mike E.

Nice! Strawberry Cherry

Continuing through the world of Walgreens generic sodas, now labeled with their "Nice!" brand, we find their Nice! Strawberry Cherry. This seems like a winner combination: two fruits, both red, both that end in "erry" and both featured in sodas often either as the leading act or an accompaniment. 

The smell is a bit concerning - kind of medicine-esque. Honestly at first the taste is a bit concerning as well. Part of it has the expected "can't miss" combination of two fruits that make for good beverage flavors, and part of it does make you think Robitussin. 

There must not be much of the latter because I keep sipping. In fact, I'd say it's pretty good. One of the bummers for strawberry soda for me is that it always seemed lacking. For one, it had kind of a "dry" taste to it, like it wasn't very refreshing. Also strawberry soda never seems to be very strong in flavor. The cherry does its job, as it has done many times before in soda, and really compliments the main act, making it way tastier than it ever has been before. 

Of course the big negative is that this is chemical city, just like the other Nice! brand beverages. Considering my general blah attitude on strawberry soda, this is very refreshing. I can only imagine what an already big fan of strawberry soda would feel about this combination. 

-Mike

Nice! Orange

In the cover of darkness, DW handed me a sack full of soda. The darkness was a coincidence and he just happened to see me first. So nothing too exciting I guess. But sack full of soda, right? These were some new items from Walgreens, who likes to refresh their store brand every 3 months it seems. Okay, maybe not that often, but fairly often.

The first one I tried was Nice! Orange Soda. Nice! is their new brand monicker. How often have I used monicker on here? Probably not that often. Anyway, to compare it to a name brand, it's very Crush-esque, which is about the best "name" you can get in the world of orange soda.

It's quite sweet, and has a nice, bold orange soda flavor. To give it some distinction from Crush, I'd say it seems a bit "lighter," if that's even possible. Maybe it's the carbonation, which is also light, unlike Sunkist or, dare I say it, Minute Maid, which both have heavier bubbles. I also want to say it has a bit of a vanilla to it. In fact, after I took my first sip, I double checked the bottle to make sure it wasn't an orange cream. I'd say it's maybe 25% down the road to being an orange cream.

The bummer of this is it's chemical city. HFCS and sodium benzoate all up in this bottle. I also learned there is a yellow 6. Who knew? I suppose if you're in a Walgreens and really want an orange soda and don't care how many chemicals are in it, this is a fine alternative to something like Crush. Aside from that, nothing classy here.

-Mike

Trader Joe's Vintage Root Beer

Just like all the hybrids parked outside of Trader Joe's, their own root beer is a hybrid of its own. Now in the past I have been known to speak out against birch beer, and being from Pennsylvania, I feel like I'm allowed to do that as we know our birch beer. Verdict: all birch beer is bad. Well, at least I think so. 

Trader Joe's Vintage Root Beer is like a car, but it wouldn't be a vintage, it would be a hybrid. Oh, I already used that comparison. What I mean is it would be a hybrid of root and birch beer. That's not necessarily a bad thing in this case. In fact, I actually quite like it. You know I do too cause you peeked at the score below. Shame on you.

While I'm the type to prefer a light carbonation, this has a slightly heavier one, but it feels foamier, which is more appropriate for root beer, so I'm okay with that too. Ingredients include wintergreen, birch, anise, sassafras, and tahitian vanilla extract. Cane sugar too, of course. You can certainly taste all those flavors. Although the wintergreen comes before the birch, as I said, the birch really stands out the most.

Unlike their cola, Trader Joe's Vintage Root Beer is worth more than a try. Although in their stores it is on price parity with Virgil's, it's unique enough to give it a shot. If you're a huge fan of birch beer, you may even like it better than I did, considering my disdain for birch.

-Mike

Trader Joe's Vintage Cola

I don't want to sound like an advertisement for Trader Joe's, but it is a pretty fantastic place. A lot of organic and natural foods at a very reasonable price. I was very excited when we received one in the area, and more excited to see that they had a small variety of sodas under their label. 

While Trader Joe's the place is fantastic, Trader Joe's the cola, "Vintage Cola" to be specific, is not. It certainly isn't bad, but it isn't great. We'll just go with good. It has a low amount of carbonation, which I'm always a fan of, for a nice smooth mouth feel. It's just the right amount of sweet, and that's with cane sugar of course. Not surprising for a Trader Joe's brand item, but it is made with natural ingredients and no preservatives.

There are hints of spices that you would get from any quality cola, but it just isn't anything out of this world or notable, especially for a product they're selling as a premium soda at $5 for a pack of four bottles. If they really wanted to continue with the Trader Joe's balance of quality and price, I would suggest keeping the same price, but possibly offering it in a 6-pack. 

Again, there is certainly nothing wrong with this soda. I would still classify it as a "premium" cola, and higher quality than the level of most store brands. If you wish to shop exclusively at Trader Joe's, then this is a fine cola to go with, but at a place that sells Virgil's Real Cola for just $1 more, it's hard to pick this up for anything beyond one try.

-Mike

Virgil's Zero Root Beer

After a heinous review of Lime Crush which should have received a rating of "Buy Stock in the Company," I knew it was time I came back, if anything to at least start a review mentioning the heinous-ness of the score for Lime Crush. 

Anyhoo, what better way than with a Virgil's product? Sadly it's diet, and sadly it's made with stevia. In fact I'm 99% sure it is their old diet, just renamed, however an old nutrition facts label shows their older diet root beer to have 2 carbs and this has zero, so maybe it was tinkered with a bit.

It might have also been easier to tell if they're different by the ingredients label, but just like their diet, this is very sparse with "spices" being the vague connection to their actually-listed spices on the non-diet products.

We never wrote up a review of the diet, it was just mentioned on the popcast (remember that?) and not in a positive light. Well, different or not, it's still bad. If I can say anything positive, it's that it's good for a diet root beer, which I suppose isn't saying much at all. Also the clouds and sky on the label appear to be more heavenly, giving more proof to my theory that the image on all of the Virgil's labels is God serving root beer to children in heaven.

-Mike

Jarritos Lima-Limon

As you may expect, this is probably going to taste like Sprite or Sierra Mist or something else that is lemon and lime, and it does, sorta.

It actually brings back a memory for me.  So at my grandmother's house she used to have two refrigerators.  Seriously.  She also had three giant freezers.  Having a giant freezer wasn't odd, in fact growing up I didn't know anybody who didn't have one, whereas now I don't know anybody that has one, but three was pushing it a bit.  They were always full.  Guess she was preparing for the rapture or something.  Anyway, she always kept a supply of the most generic sodas you could get in that downstairs refrigerator, and this tastes like the lemon lime one.  Or at least I think it does.  I don't remember much.

It's kind of the reverse of what I like in lemon lime sodas.  I really like sweet lemon lime sodas, but I suppose I like really sweet everything.  Well, except this time before my whole vegetarian thing where I had Captain Crunch chicken.  That was gross.  But sweet drinks I like.  This isn't sweet, but the flavor is pretty strong.  Also the carbonation is quite mild, unlike a Sprite or Sierra Mist.  

Kind of like what I said with the mandarin, if you want a lemon lime but what to mix things up a bit, give this one a shot.  It's pretty darn good, and quite different from what you're used to.

-Mike E.

(Note:  This beverage was provided to us by Jarritos.)

World Market All Natural Orange Passion Mango

If you haven't had Nantucket Nectars, I'm deeply sorry, because I'm going to compare this to Nantucket Nectars.  That and you should really have it because it's delicious.

Although this has way less juice (12%) than that, it still strongly reminds me, even from the first scent of it, of the orange mango from Nantucket Nectars.  Supposedly this has passion fruit in it too.  I'll take their word for it.

Luckily the ingredients back up their all-natural claim, with cane sugar, juices and purees.  Like I said, it does taste like juice, except carbonated, which is slightly odd, but it's not as "thick" as juice, although not as smooth as a soda either.  Thankfully the carbonation is at a minimum to balance that out.  

I really like this, again, mainly because it tastes like carbonated Nantucket Nectars, and I appreciate it's attempt at being a "juice soda" without sacrificing smoothness or sweetness.

-Mike E.

Taylor's Tonics Chai Cola

This is one of those drinks that makes me feel like the end for this site is near.  I mean, how can there be any other combinations left?  Someone has combined chai tea and cola.  

It doesn't really taste like it, though.  Maybe barely, but not the way you'd want it.  The idea isn't completely terrible, but the execution could've been better.  At least the inside of the product is top quality.  Black tea, ginger root, cinnamon bark, yerba mate, cardamon, clove & tea extract, evaporated cane juice…all of which should add up to delicious and spicy.  Well, at least it's spicy.  They also claim to have vanilla in this but I didn't get that at all.

The scent is pretty powerful, like Hallmark votive candle powerful.  That's why it's surprising that it's a little more watery than expected, even though it has a bold flavor.  I suppose that really doesn't make sense either.  It's like the chai part is powerful, although not very chai-like, just spicy, and the the cola part is weak and watery.  

Despite that, it's bizarre enough that you should try it.  I mean…it's chai and cola.

-Mike E.

Jarritos Mandarin

I'll admit, I didn't have high hopes for this.  Once upon a time Minute Maid's orange soda was mandarin orange and it was pretty dull.  Thankfully I was way wrong about this one.

There is a mandarin flavor going on here, meaning it's orange but not.  It's also got a sweetness to it that mandarin orange sodas usually don't have.  The ones I've had before have been just weak and not very sugary, but this is the opposite.  Very sweet, full of flavor, and just enough of a "different" kind of orange taste that really sets it apart from other manadarins and all other orange sodas in general.

I don't have anymore to say about it.  Being a Jarritos product it is made with sugar and not HFCS.  If you're looking for an orange soda but you're kind of tired of the run of the mill ones out there, this really is something that sets itself apart but still satisfies.

-Mike E.

(Note:  This beverage was provided to us by Jarritos.)

Jarritos Guava

Guava.  I don't know what it is.  For all I know it looks like one of those clay pots on the front of the bottle.

But it doesn't.  Thankfully, I mean how disgusting would that be?  Anyway, this is the first of many beverages in the line up thoughtfully provided to us by Jarritos.  It's kind of pink-ish so it's hard to know what to expect.

The initial smell is...not promising.  Thankfully, though, it doesn't taste too bad.  I'm not sure what it tastes like, but it doesn't taste bad.  Like I said on the Popcast, it's like it is trying really really hard to be a fruit.  Like you know the flavor is fruit, but that's about it.  

There's also something unusual about the sweetness, or the flavor, I can't tell which.  The way I tried to describe it with so far all Jarritos is that it's like a bubble of nothing surrounds a sip of each drink.  Like they need to bump up the flavor or sweetness just a little more.

Not to say this is bad, it's not, it's just...different.  

Oh, and added bonus, since it's from Mexico it's made with real sugar.

-Mike E.

(Note:  This beverage was provided to us by Jarritos.)

Quagmire's Cherry Pop

If any of us have learned one fact in life, it's that holding multiple sexual partners causes three problems:  a lack of energy, a great thirst, and the need for a great memory to remember people's birthdays.  Of course if you're not careful you can throw two more things on the list, but let's stay positive here.  We're not sure of anything out there that can help us remember birthdays, but thankfully a product has come along that takes care of the energy and thirst problems, and not only that, it's Family Guy themed!  How perfect!

So this is Quagmire's Cherry Pop (get it??) energy drink from Boston America Corp., which makes it sound like a bunch of dudes in an office decided "hey, let's make energy drinks...and maybe we could get some of those loveable characters from the hit TV animated comedy Family Guy to put on the cans."  Of course they would be saying this with charts and graphs behind them.

Anyway, one of those charts or graphs must have said "make it actually taste like a drink and not medicine" because it actually tastes like a drink and not medicine.  It's like a tart cherry soda, and that's a flavor you can't go wrong with.  Very minimal carbonation.  As for the energy part, I really can't say it did anything for me.  I'm not the best test subject for energy drink reactions.  But hey, at least I could tell you it tastes good.

Maybe my lack of response has to do with the lack of energy drink-style components.  You get 50% of your daily value of B6 and B12, and if you sort through the list of ingredients you'll see taurine, guarana extract, panax ginseng and a ton more chemicals that include our favorites, HFCS and sodium benzoate.

I suppose if you're going to have an energy drink, you're probably used to the chemicals by now.  You might not be used to the flavor though, so you might as well give this one a try and mix up that part of your routine a bit.  I'd also have to say that ... wait a second, it's the 14th?  I just remembered I have to make a phone call.  It did work!  Thanks Quagmire's Cherry Pop!*

-Mike

*Birthday remembering for entertainment value only.  We and those guys with charts do not claim that any product will help you remember birthdays.  Tiny print tiny print tiny print.  Nobody reads tiny print.  I could say anything down here.  Maybe it's subliminal.  Make our site your homepage...do it...make our site your homepage... 

Central Market Organics Italian Soda Pear Apple

That's a long name, isn't it?  Dan W recently presented me with this tall, oddly shaped bottle claiming it to be good.  Well let's find out.

First off we've had a decent run with Italian soda, so that's a plus.  Secondly it's not only pear, it's apple too.  That has to be good.  Finally, the ingredients:  organic pear and apple juice from concentrate, organic sugar, natural apple flavors, natural pear flavor, etc.  Nothing bad here.  Even made it Italy, which works with the whole Italian soda thing.

Sadly it's missing something.  What that is, I'm not sure.  Maybe it's too watery, with not enough fruit flavors?  Maybe the sweetening needs to be kicked up a bit?  Perhaps it needs more bite?  I can't tell what's wrong, but something is.  It's crisp, but at the same time too heavy.  But how is it heavy when it's lacking flavor?  

This may sound ridiculous but I think part of it is the bottle.  This is the first time I'm going to say the plastic bottle may be the culprit here, because there seems to be a kind of plastic-y thing going on with it.  I could just be trying to find out what's wrong with it and grabbing at straws.  Who knows?  All I know is despite all it's positives, it's missing something, and that's a bummer.

-Mike

R. W. Knudsen Spritzer Boysenberry

This company's name and logo both make me wonder if they sell jams and preserves, because if they don't, they're wasting their name and logo.  Even this can makes me think it should have jelly in it, but considering it says "spritzer" that kinda ruins the whole thing.

According to the can, the goal was creating an alternative to soda by making a drink which was fruit juice and sparkling water.  Now I don't know if you've ever tried adding a little water to make a fruit juice more mild, but you can add a drop to a glass of juice and it'll ruin the whole thing.  Needless to say, I'm concerned.  Granted they did meet their goal of what should be in it, as the ingredients are sparkling filtered water, grape, boysenberry and plum juice concentrates.  So here we go.

Sadly my theory was correct:  this is dull.  It is watered down juice.  Not only that it tastes dirty.  Like they didn't wash off their fruits before juicing them.  I like the idea, and maybe it would work with another flavor, but with the boysenberry, it's just dull and dirty.  Again, with a logo like that, make some jam.  I'd buy it.

-Mike

Ginseng Up Kola Champagne

Who knew this was a Caribbean favorite?  The bottle says so.  This is my first experience with kola champagne.  I like cola, but I don't know about kola...champagne.  

My first concern is the brand has the word ginseng in it, so you figure that would be a key ingredient...but it's not.  It's the last one:  Korean ginseng tea, to be specific  No sodium benzoate, but there is HFCS.  Let's see how this is.

This smells horrid.  Like bad cream soda.  I'm not looking forward to this...

I'm shocked, it's actually not bad.  Fairly clean and crisp for a soda with HFCS.  It really is like a cream soda, but mild, and the tea flavor is noticeable in the background.  It's interesting, but not in a bad way.  Something unique and different.  

-Mike