Sonic Red Bull Cherry Limeade Slush

The Soda Jerks head to Sonic to try out the new Red Bull Cherry Limeade Slush

Petey's Bing Raz

Imagine the my luck.  I found two “Delicious...Refreshing” soda within two weeks of each other.  Of course they’re the same brand of soda, Petey’s Bing, but the flavor of the day...vor is Raz.  Being in tune with the advertising world I can tell you that Raz probably means that raspberry is involved.  A quick look at the ingredients tells me I’m right.  Both raspberry and cherry juice concentrate are involved so I look forward to my first swig.

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His nose is stuck.

Smells like a candied raspberry, but thankfully not one of the blue variety.  This smells like red.  That’s a confusing sentence out of context, but you get it.

Petey’s Bing Raz just slapped my taste buds to the floor.  Raspberry flavor shows up immediately and forcefully.  It’s tart, sweet, and tangy tastes last throughout the duration of the sip.  A highly consistent beverage throughout in terms of taste, Bing Raz leaves little aftertaste on the backside and does most of it’s talking/walking up front.  

I haven’t said it yet, but I like this soda.  You don’t get many raspberry sodas with the power this one has behind it.  It’s brash and unapologetic for the tingly ride it takes my tongue on.  The only downside I can find is that the flavor wavers a small amount at the very end.  Now it doesn’t change so much that I’d retract my “consistent soda” statement, but it is a little different.

Some might find Petey’s Bing Raz a bit too pungent for the pallet.  I personally believe it’s too strong to be refreshing, but not every soda out there is supposed to refresh….oh awkward.  I just remembered the word “Refreshing” is on the can.  Ok, so it’s not refreshing in a “just went for a run let me get something to drink” sense.  Perhaps it’s refreshing in a “my mouth is dry and I just need liquid” sense.

Ah well, buy some and ignore this abrupt ending.

~A

This soda was purchased at Sprouts groce

Petey's Bing Black

What if I were to tell you that there’s a soda out there that’s both “Delicious” and “Refreshing”.  Wouldn’t that be amazing? Well according to the labeling of the can in front of me, Petey’s Bing Black is just exactly that… both delicious AND refreshing.  

The soda at hand seems to be what we would classify as a “Lifestyle” beverage.  One that gets you your ginseng, your B vitamins, your C vitamin and the like.  It’s also, and this is a personal perk for me, make with blackberry juice.  I’m going to go out on a very sturdy limb and say that’s why it’s called Bing “Black”.  

According to the ingredients it has both blackberry and cherry juice from concentrate.  It’s sweetened with cane sugar and… yup, it has Guarana seed extract in it which confirms my “Lifestyle” beverage theory.

Smell wise you get a nice mixture of blackberry and cherry aromas with the edge going to blackberry.  This makes me a little excited to try it, but I’m still quite cautious.  

Pouring my friend a cup I see that Petey’s Bing Black has a great maroon coloring to it that begs for me to drink it.  This seems like the beverage equivalent of judging a book by its cover, but we all like visual stimuli around here, right?

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The finish is considerably better than the start in the case of Bing Black.  Starting off the soda seems a bit empty and almost tinny to me.  Then the script is quickly flipped and my mouth is filled with the natural flavor of blackberries with a hint of cherry.  Being that the transition is so immediate the reaction my tongue has includes a little bit of confusion.

Confused my tongue isn’t sure what to expect next and ends up with a bitter finish and a fruit juice taste on my lips.  Petey’s Bing Black doesn’t tell a cohesive tale, but it knows some interesting short stories.  While I ultimately like to read short stories, I’m not big on drinking them.  Perhaps my tongue just isn’t smart enough to enjoy this beverage as it should be, but that shouldn’t stop you from giving it a try.

~A

This soda was purchased at a Sprout’s grocery store​

Xyience Xenergy Grape

Another beverage from the folks at Xyience and it’s supposed to help with both energy levels and hydration.  What I’ve got in front of me is a can of Xyience Xenergy Grape.  From my previous Xenergy reviews I know that this is going to be more of a Gatorade/Powerade type beverage in terms of taste.  Hopefully it stands out enough from the pack that I can reward it with a good review.  Personally I think it’ll taste alright, but not be anything to write about...even though I’m about to.  Here’s to me being wrong.

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Twist was a Xyience major in college...the first time.

A stronger than suspected grape aroma jumps out of the mouth of the can.  Immediately my doubts are turned into cautious optimism.  Will a truly delightful grape taste be awaiting me instead of the somewhat watered down version I was expecting?

Ok, we’re working with a couple of positives and a couple of negatives here.  Positive number one is the strength of the grape.  It is stronger than your G’s and P’s, but not quite as strong as a grape soda.  Even though it’s not carbonated there’s even a little bit of a punch to the finish.  It’s a very smooth drink and I would even classify it as refreshing.

The negatives, or negative in this case, stops this from being an above average drink experience.  With each sip I get a burst of Pedialyte taste.  Now while I’ve learned that many folks like the taste of Pedialyte I am not one of them.  This just opens up memories of when I was sick as a child.  You may have noticed that I use the Pedialyte comparison quite a bit when it comes to lifestyle beverages.  I think this is because their makeup is similar and their goal of hydration is the same.  Unfortunately I have negative thoughts regarding this taste so the review score usuall suffers.

In the case of Xyience Xenergy though I will give them credit for having a decent grape taste.  They do a really good job with their flavor even though they are sugar and calorie free.  So I at least recommend you pick up a can the next time you see it.

~A

This beverage was supplied to us by Xyience.

Xyience Xenergy Pineapple

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Twist felt flat today, but his thighs looked GREAT!

Today’s Xyience experiment is pineapple flavored.  Technically this can of Xenergy is +Lemonade, whatever that means, in addition to being pineapple flavored.  I’m honestly not sure what to expect here, but I’m rolling with it.  Like all the other Xyience products that we’ve reviewed it’s sugar free and has zero calories.  They’ve been hit or miss so far in the flavor department so it will be interesting to see what side of the fence pineapple lemonade falls.

As the can cracks open the faint aroma that arrives is more lemonade than pineapple.  In fact I’d be amazed if I could identify this as pineapple flavored based on the scent alone.  Hopefully the taste doesn’t leave that much to mystery.

The initial taste I get is the tart bite of a lemon.  Slowly it washes away and transforms into the pineapple lemonade we were promised.  Truthfully it’s lemonade pineapple as the real star of the show cannot be mistaken.  Throughout the entire gulp the lemon teases the tip of my tongue with a tingle of sour.  This leaves the rest of my mouth awash with an average tasting lemonade.  It’s on par with Minute Maid lemonade, which to me is on the weaker side of the big name brands.  

Xyience Xenergy Pineapple is a very refreshing beverage.  Something I would happily reach for on a sweltering day.  It goes down smoothly which makes it easy to return for another sip.  The lack of sugar isn’t overly noticeable and the flavor while pleasant isn’t memorable.  All in all it’s a good energy drink, but an average tasting beverage.

~A

This beverage supplied to us by Xyience

Xyience Xenergy Tropical Punch

So the last time I tried a Xyience Xenergy beverage I was quite impressed.  It was refreshing, the taste was pretty good, it was all I needed it to be.  Well today’s review is of Xyience Xenergy Tropical Punch where the key idea is Hydration.  Tropical Punch flavor is caffeine free, sugar free, and loaded up with B vitamins.  It’s also enhanced with electrolytes, but whatever.  I just want this to be a tasty fruit punch.

Upon cracking open the can I get a familiar aroma.  This smells a lot like Hawaiian Punch, but not quite as fierce.  So they have the proto-typical fruit punch aroma happening.  Will it translate into the flavor?

Meh, kinda.  This tastes like watered down tropical punch which makes sense because it’s a “Hydration” product.  I guess I should really be comparing the taste of this to Gatorade or Powerade, but I have my own standards of delicious tropical punch taste.  In this case the “punch” is limited and the “tropical” is boring.  As powerful as the flavors were in the last beverage I reviewed, typically much more subtle flavors at that, I expected topical punch to blow me away.

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Twist was the muse behind 1999: A Space Oddity

Aside from being “watered down” there’s something in the aftertaste that just seems out of place.  It’s a combination of burn and bitter that lasts for just long enough to sour my opinion on this beverage.  The more that I chug it the more medicinal the aftertaste becomes.  Wandering away from tropical punch and moving toward Pedialyte.  I’ll be able to finish it this one time, but it’s not really something I’d be reaching for again.

So you’re saying to your monitor right now “Monitor, why be angry that a drink made for hydration is watered down?”  You monitor will respond with this next sentence.

“Dave, The Soda Jerks rank beverages based on taste and little else”

So after you unplug your computer to kill it remember what it said.  It Xyience Xenergy an alright hydrator?  Sure.  Do you want to have more than one in your fridge at any given time just to drink?  Unless you want a weak tropical punch flavored beverage with the aftertaste of medicine, no...probably not.

~A

This beverage supplied to us by Xyience

Xyience Xenergy Honey Ginseng

I don’t normally review non-carbonated beverages, but when the company who creates that beverage reaches out to me then who am I to say no.  Today’s drink up on deck is Xyience Xenergy Honey Ginseng.  Those of you who are fans of the UFC should recognize Xyience Xenergy as the official energy drink of the UFC.  If you didn’t know that, then perhaps they should rework their ad campaign.

Xyience Xenergy is sugar free, zero calorie, and vitamin fortified.  The Honey Ginseng flavor I’ve chosen includes Green Tea in the ingredients list along with several other words that you may have seen alongside some B vitamins and several other words that are much harder to say.

In case you weren’t aware Xyience means extreme science, and Xenergy is a blend of Zen and Energy.  With all nomenclature explained we should be ok to move on.

The faintest of faint aromas sits at the mouth of my newly opened can.  It smells slightly of honey and green tea...which is good because that’s what they’re going for.  Hopefully the taste is as inoffensive as the scent.

Four word review.  “Yay. Huh? Eh. Alright.”  Now let’s break it down.

Yay.  A cool refreshing burst of honey and green tea washes across my mouth.  It cools everything it comes in contact with, satisfying a thirst I wasn’t even aware I had.

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Twist is a Mad Xyientist.

Huh?  The gears change direction and now the ginseng and chemicals take over.  It’s not a complete 180 from what I first experienced, but I much preferred the initial taste to what I have now.

Eh.  So I guess I’m stuck with this new taste, but my mouth has quickly accepted this fate.  It’s not so bad and it’s still tastier than most energy drinks.  I really wished that first flavor would have lasted longer.

Alright.  So my wish is sorta coming true.  During the aftertaste the ginseng gives way once again to the honey and greet tea I initially enjoyed.  The only difference is that ginseng is still chilling there in the corner sulking because I didn’t like him as much.  The sweetness from the honey leaves a lasting impression and makes it very easy to return the can to my mouth.

Xyience Xenergy Honey Ginseng is a fantastic energy drink and a pretty solid regular drink to boot.  I could honestly see myself drinking this just because I enjoyed the flavor.  Yeah, there is a bit of weakness shown in the middle of each sip, but XXHG doesn’t tap out.  See what I did there?  I worked in an MMA reference to make part of the review quirky.  I should probably stop while I’m ahead.

~A

This soda supplied to us by Xyience

Lean - Yella

Today’s offering from ThirstMonger is a relaxation beverage.  Currently I don’t need a relaxation beverage because my wife is listening to one of the dullest power point presentations I’ve ever half listened to.  Ah, education.  Thankfully, I can focus all my attention on this can of Lean (flavor “Yella”) in front of me.  ThirstMonger sent me three flavors of Lean: Purp, Easta Pink, and of course Yella.  Having reviewed other relaxation beverages I had grown tired of the whole “purple drank” variation and was pleased to see that Lean offered other non “Purp” flavors for those that craved more variety from their chillaxation beverages.  Lean is labeled as the “slow motion…potion”.  Even their tagline has an ellipsis in it, this must be good.  I wasn’t all that shocked to see melatonin in the ingredient list, but I was surprised to see sugar.  I would have thought they’d have gone the HFCS route, but I’m happily wrong about that.  The band around the top of the can gives us the flavor title of “Yella”, but also includes tiny pictures of pineapples.  I’m not sure what I would have assumed the flavor of “Yella” was without this picture cue, so I’m pleased it exists.

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Twist is always leaning.  Always.

An unusual pineapple cream aroma races out of the can, almost desperate for me to smell it.  There’s an unexpected amount of sweetness in this scent so I’m a bit more curious as to what Lean – Yella will taste like. 

Yella tastes as it smells.  There is a sweet, smooth, pineapple taste that washes over all aspects of my mouth.  The carbonation is small, but shows up in powerful bursts throughout the drinking process.  Even though there are tiny pineapples on this can, I’m quite pleased with the fact that “Pineapple” is not listed as the flavor.  While it is the primary taste I’m experiencing it has been mutated into something much more interesting than your standard apple of pine.  The sweetness, that I’ve now mentioned several times, is quite similar to what you might find in a cream soda.  There’s also a bit of vanilla within this pineapple soda.  This addition keeps each swig somewhat fresh and allows for repeated returns to the beverage.  On the negative side, Lean – Yella is somewhat syrupy and some might find it overly sugary.  There are only 28 grams of sugar in a serving which may sound like a lot, but Mountain Dew is made with a number that travels well over 40g.  This sweetness does build upon itself making it difficult to finish off this 16oz can, but all in all it’s a fairly tasty beverage.  The rating I give it may seem a little low, but just know it’s on the high end.

~A

Nawgan Lemonade

I’ve had energy drinks, sleepy time drinks, “sexual prowess” drinks, and many other life style beverages.  The folks at ThirstMonger have sent me an “alertness beverage” to try.  That’s a first.  Now I know you’re probably thinking that an alertness beverage is just a fancy name for an energy drink and you’re right, but it’s the first time I’ve seen it called as such, and I approve.  The name of the alertness beverage is Nawgan and its flavor is Lemonade.  The Nawgan logo is a brain which leads me to believe that Nawgan is just a fancy spelling of noggin.  You know, like the Nick Jr. successor.  Nawgan has zero calories, vitamins B and E, and a host of chemicals that will hopefully make this taste like a delicious glass of lemonade.  Let’s find out together shall we?

This can of Nawgan has the most satisfying “CRACK” open noise I’ve ever heard.  Good lord that was loud and made me want to instantly start chugging it.  Lemons jumped out of this newly created hole and punched me in the nose.  The scent is strong.  There I said it two different ways.  I’m rather excited to try this now.  I find it odd how a sound that has nothing to do with the flavor excites me to what the drink might taste like. 

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Twist completed the brain maze in only 2 hours.

Nawgan is non-carbonated and for being zero calories, has a pretty good lemon taste to it.  The initial sip does have a bit of a chemical feel, but it’s quickly washed away by the somewhat sweet lemon flavoring.  By itself Nawgan could fool you into thinking it is indeed lemonade.  If you were to compare it side by side with the real deal you’d probably find the real thing to be a bit stronger.  It has a very light mouth feel, but a noticeable lemon aftertaste that I don’t mind experiencing again and again.  Nawgan lemonade is a really easy drink to chug, which I would expect is something that you would want to do if you needed to get that jolt of energy as quickly as possible. 

WHAT?!  I just looked on the can and this has Stevia in it?!  I never would have guessed.  Great job covering up the aftertaste that usually leaves.  Wow, stevia done right.  It happens so infrequently.

For being a lemonade “alertness beverage”, Nawgan does a great job.  It’s easy to drink, the flavor is enjoyable, and I could see myself purchasing multiples of this.  It’s not going to replace lemonade, but at this point I’m pretty sure nothing is.  Nawgan Lemonade is one of the tastier energy drinks by far.

~A

Hiball Organic Energy Drink - Pomegranate Acai

While I’m sure I’ve had an organic energy drink, I honestly can’t remember the name of it.  If only there were drink review site that had a search function!  Hiball Organic Energy Drink – Pomegranate Acia sits in front of me in a rather classy looking can.  The Hiball logo is crisp and simple, making it a pleasure to look at.  If I examine this container a bit closer I see that Hiball Pomegranate Acai uses both organic caffeine and organic sugar in the creation of this beverage.  Just to add to this greatness is the fact that the organic sugar used is Fair Trade Certified.  Since it’s an energy drink Hiball Pomegranate Acai is also chock full of B Vitamins, and other ingredients like Guarana Extract, Ginseng Extract, and others.  Truthfully, my mind is a little perplexed in trying to figure out what this will taste like.  Will it be a fruity sensation or will the energy drink side take over like Mr. Hyde?  Let’s see if I can’t sniff this out.

The can opens without a lot of push, which makes me think the carbonation won’t be that strong.  An aroma of various berries, also known as berrious, makes its way to the opening of the can.  My knowledge is lacking when it comes to identifying pomegranate and acai, so I’m hesitant to tell you that this is what it smells like.  Perhaps a taste test in in order.

My initial reaction to Hiball Pomegranate Acai isn’t a positive one.  Each act in this play seems to be marred by the kid sitting behind me named “Bitter Billy”.  I take a sip and see the first act upon the stage.  A cool refreshing sensation skips across the stage and starts its monologue.  Bitter Billy flicks my ear and giggles.  Pomegranate and Acai walk out in what looks to be a pretty good ventriloquist act, but I can’t concentrate on it because Bitter Billy has started kicking my seat as hard as he can.  The final act shows all of the characters on stage for a rousing final number, I think I even see carbonation dressed as a tiny clown.  It doesn’t matter though because Bitter Billy has taken a lighter to my hair and I’m missing it all.  Hidden behind each outburst of Bitter Billy looks to be a fairly enjoyable energy drink, but I cannot see past this poorly behaved child.  I could finish this beverage if I wanted to, but I don’t.  Even if the crowd starts chanting for an encore I don’t care to be anywhere near that kid anymore.  All the organic ingredients, all of the B Vitamins, all of the class the label shows can’t compete with this one taste factor.  Sad really.

~A

Twist's sugar is always organic.

Hockey Soda Energy

Today’s faire from ThirstMonger is Hockey Soda Energy, which is actually an energy drink.  I once called an energy drink a soda and the guy sending it to me made sure to correct me.  I’m pleased to see that Hockey Soda isn’t nearly as uptight with their nomenclature.  Hockey Soda Energy lives in a black can with an intimidating blue hockey mask emblazoned on the label.  Circling the top of the can are the ingredients of L-Glutamine, B Vitamins, L-Carnitine, and Taurine, circle the top.  I’m not a hockey player by any means as I’ve never seen more than a patch of ice on the road, much less a frozen lake.  Hockey Soda Energy forgives me for this and tells me to do the following:  “Dangle, snipe, and celly with this pro style energy drink, Hockey Soda Energy.”  I understand those to be hockey terms, but honestly I only know “snipe” of the three.  No matter, I’m also promised that “Hockey Soda Energy is a cola citrus energy drink infusing the past with the present.”  A cola citrus energy drink, huh?  I have no idea how one pulls that off, but if they can merge past with present then I’m sure cola citrus energy combinations are simple.  Let’s open this up, shall we?

Surprisingly this smells quite a bit like cola and I must say I’d already written it off that it wouldn’t.  Hockey Soda Energy has called me out, and in the case of the smell test, checked me into the boards.  See what I did there?  It’s a hockey analogy.  I can do it too.

With my first sip of Hockey Soda Energy I’m taken aback by the fact that the cola citrus flavor they promised is now happily swimming around in my mouth.  The initial first half of my sip is indeed flavored with cola, but a strong citrus blast comes through and cleanly sweeps it away.  Lemon, lime, and a hint of that taste that seems to be in all energy drinks, create what can only be described as a “zing” of citrus.  This zing is sour enough that your cheeks pull inward, showing the starting signs of “pucker”. 

Now of course with all this good, there is some bad.  First off the initial cola taste weakens with each sip you take.  This is because the secondary citrus flavor eventually takes full residence in your taste buds and the cola just can’t yell loud enough to be heard.  I really do like the citrus flavor that I’m ultimately left with, but it’s the cola/citrus combo that’s presented so well at the beginning that sets Hockey Soda Energy apart.  Secondly, I’m always going to squawk a little when it comes to high fructose corn syrup.  So… squawk.

To go back to the positive though, I’m honestly surprised by how much I like the taste of this beverage.  The fact that they actually pulled off a cola/citrus hybrid impresses me the most.  That impressive impression is followed by the fact that they’ve created an energy drink that doesn’t have a vague bubble gum sweetness to it.  In a market where energy drinks are a dime a dozen it makes me really happy to see one that, in my mind at least, shows how being different can sway even the harshest critics… I’m talking about me.  

~A

Oddly enough Twist turned down the role of Casey Jones in the new TMNT

Sync

The fine folks in charge of the energy drink Sync were kind enough to send me some samples of their product.  The letter that came with it wanted me to tell you how it affected me in terms of energy and a few other items like that.  Our primary goal is to make sure you’re trying tasty sodas; we have little interest in if they “do their job”.  I’m not sure who I was quoting then, it just kind of happened.  So while Sync may turn me into a god among men, if it doesn’t taste great then it won’t be rated as such.

Sync refers to itself (on the label that is) as “Harmony in a Can”.  That’s a pretty bold claim, but it doesn’t stop there.  At the top of the can I see that by drinking it I will “Enlighten Your Tate Buds”.   Alright so now I’ve been told two things it will do for me.  At the bottom of the can I’m left with one more sentence, “Vitalizes the body and mind”.  This one is my favorite of the three because they could have used revitalizes, but didn’t.  You so rarely see anyone use the term “vitalize” and I was happy to see it here.  Good for you Sync… let’s check out the ingredients label.  Oh… wait…one more sentence.  “Sync Energy Drink is the ultimate drink that vitalizes both the mind and body.”  The use of “vitalize” impresses me less upon a second viewing.  I really hope down the line when Sync is a bit more established their next batch of labels has half the sentences on it hyping their beverage. 

Ingredients wise Sync has some B6, B12, Pantothenic Acid, and 27 grams of sugar which is in the form of HFCS.  The odd one to me is how much sodium is in this can.  200mg of sodium or 8% of your daily value seems like a lot.  Let’s see how much Coke has in it for a baseline.  Coke has 35mg of sodium and a Reed’s Ginger Brew has 5mg.  I’m being unfair… let’s see how much sodium a Red Bull has in it.  200mg, ok I learned something today.  It’s normal for energy drinks to have more sodium than your typical soda.  Look at you Sync, teaching me stuff.  Perhaps I’ll be blown away by the taste, but first you know what we must do.  Smell time.

It smells of grapefruit with a dash of bubble gum.  SON OF A… I found another sentence!  “Sync Improves performance and boosts the body’s energy during times of stress and strain.  Sync increases endurance, concentration, improves reaction time and stimulates metabolism.”  As I was saying, Sync’s scent is primarily citrus, but there is a sugary something lurking in the background.  Taste time.

I will say that it has an unusual taste that is primarily citrus like the scent told me it would be.  The carbonation level is strong, but mostly composed of tiny bubbles that rush over my teeth and gums.  There is a slight bubble gum flavor as seems common with most energy drinks that appears with each sip and eventually dissipates into the “citrus” flavor.  Oddly enough this beverage feels kind of heavy in my mouth.  I’m not sure if it’s the HFCS or the chemicals, but a “curtain” of “citrus” sits on my teeth, tongue, and hangs from the roof of my mouth.  I’m not really fond of the mouth-feel I’m getting from Sync. 

Since the label art includes a leaf I would have been much more impressed if this were an all-natural energy drink.  As far as I can see it’s fairly standard in regards to ingredients and flavor.  That’s not to say that it tastes badly, in fact I’d probably pick up a Sync before I would a Red Bull.  The taste is just different enough that I prefer it to the leading brand.  So they have that going for them.  In the world of soda though there are several better tastes out there.  With that said I did finish my can and YES I do feel more energized… there it did it’s “job”.  If you’re given the chance to choose between Sync and another energy drink I suggest giving it a try.  If you want a delicious soda well then click here instead.

~A

This Beverage Supplied to us by BidEuphoria

Twist drank all the samples even the one in the kitchen.  He drank it all even the kitchen SYNC!  HAR HAR HAR.  sorry.

MTN Dew Kickstart Fruit Punch

Alright, so yesterday I reviewed Kickstart Orange Citrus from Mountain Dew.  If you haven’t read the review please do so that you might be caught up on all that is involved with this pair of reviews.  Today’s flavor of Mountain Dew Kickstart is Fruit Punch.  Now initially I had higher hopes for the Orange Citrus, but was let down somewhat when the second half of the flavor fell flat for me.  Here’s hoping Fruit Punch ends up being a better way for my mouth to wake up in the morning.  Onward!

The scent that comes from Mountain Dew Kickstart Fruit Punch isn’t nearly as powerful as the Citrus Orange.  I really have to put my nose to the can to get a discernible fruit punch smell.  It has a light fruity aroma, but nothing that really gives me any insight as to what this might taste like.

Immediately this can of Kickstart shows me that it means business.  Where the Citrus Orange tickled my mouth with bubbles for the first half of the sip; the Fruit Punch waits for me to swallow then goes at the back of my throat with a sharp knife.  It’s definitely an experience that would wake you up.  As for the flavor I’m not all that impressed.  If you have ever been an infant or have infants of your own you’ve probably tasted Pedialyte.  Mountain Dew Kickstart Fruit Punch is Pedialyte soda and you can imagine that doesn’t fare well for me.  The taste feels incomplete as a good fruit punch flavor becomes bogged down with the other nonsense in the can.  Pretend you have a friend who’s a good person, but their significant other just turns them into a miserable mess.  When you look at them you can tell they’re trying to still be good at heart.  They force smiles and laughs all the while dying inside.  Kickstart Fruit Punch is that good friend of yours.  If only they would separate from that awful person then you might enjoy there company again. 

My mouth is coated in a medicinal syrup that just won’t let go of the inside of my cheeks.  I want to like this I really do, but it’s just not happening.  Each sip just keeps taking me on the same experience.  It’s like going through the tunnel of love with someone that likes you, but the feeling’s not mutual.  The first time is awkward.  The tenth is a nightmare as it just keeps building upon itself eventually becoming no fun for even the initially happy person in the boat.  On that note, were tunnels of love ever an actual thing or did they just appear in cartoons as a comic device?  Sorry, I just don’t want to drink anymore.  The only thing saving this beverage from our lowest score is the potential the fruit punch shows before it’s dragged back down by the other faults of the beverage.

~A

This beverage supplied to us by PepsiCo

Twist is a Pedialyte fiend.

MTN Dew Kickstart Orange Citrus

I’ve received a lot of merchandise over the years reviewing sodas.  Most of it consists of the sodas themselves freely given to me so that I might review them.  Sometimes I’m given hats, stickers, shirts, or the occasional coaster.  My mind exploded yesterday when I got a promotional package from Mountain Dew for their new Kickstart line of beverages.  Before I continue let me explain what Kickstart is. 

Kickstart is basically the Mountain Dew you’re supposed to drink in the morning and you can do so with either Orange Citrus or Fruit Punch.  To quote the promotional material I received it “combines the great taste of DEW with real fruit juice and just the right amount of kick to start your day.”  So instead of grabbing for that cup of coffee or that tiny bottle of mediocre tasting energy drink, they folks at Mountain Dew want you to grab a can of Kickstart instead.  Ok, so I’m not big on drinking sodas when I wake up, but I can’t argue that there isn’t a market for it.  People drink all kinds of wake me up juice in the morning.  Who am I to judge?  Let me back up to what this promotional box of Kickstart held for me.

Twist was also impressed with the build quality of the box

The first thing that caught my eye was the iPod Shuffle, then the Spy+ glasses, then the Beats by Dre headphones.  I tell you what was in the box so you know that I got swag attached to my soda.  I feel it’s only fair to be truthful about these kinds of things and also believe that you should know I’ve given some of it away.  Personally I don’t believe I can be swayed by material goods and I’m not saying that Mountain Dew was trying to sway me into giving a false review because I honestly believe they aren’t.  The only time I would feel odd reviewing a soda is if I worked for the company that made It and in that case probably wouldn’t review it.  With that said, I still felt it necessary to disclose everything attached to said swag box so you would know all of the variables before I drank this.  Oh, the note attached reads “We’ve included everything you need right here to get your day started right.  So crack open the can, throw on your Spys and turn up your Beats.  Get up, get out and let Kickstart by Mountain DEW KICKSTART YOUR DAY!” Review begins now.

Mountain Dew Kickstart Orange Citrus comes large in a 16 oz. can.  It’s made with 5% juice, has 100% value of the Vitamin C you need in a day, 80% B6 and a few other things as well.  There are only 20 grams of sugar in this which honestly surprises me so I’m guessing the Kickstart must come from the C, B, and Caffeine included in the beverage.  With a little research I find that this finds itself somewhere in the middle of the scale when it comes to comparing how much caffeine it has with other Mountain Dew types.  I’m not sure I need to say it’s sweetened with HFCS, but there you have that as well.  The bright orange can paired with the fact that concentrated orange juice is in the ingredients is making me wonder if this will taste anything like Orangina.  I guess there’s only one way to find out.

What smells like a delightfully light orange soda rushes out of the mouth of the can.  The more it wafts into my nostrils the more I get the scent of actual orange juice.  By aroma alone this is shaping up to be a delightful beverage.

Alright, that’s not half bad.  I was honestly expecting this to be a somewhat awkward missmash of orange and dew.  If I’d thought about it for longer than a second I would realize that the citrus of Dew would obviously pair well with another citrus flavor.  The mouth feel I initially experience is rather pleasant as it completely encompasses my mouth in tiny fizzy bubbles.  A decent orange soda flavor is also present for the first half of each sip, but that’s where the happy times end.  First act of Mountain Dew Kickstart Orange Citrus is like going to a local theatre group.  The actors are all doing pretty well and you’re enjoying the play just fine.  Sure the scenery might not be ultra-realistic, but you’re having a good time.  The second act is comparable to a junior high play.  Lines are flubbed, snickers are heard when the word “damn” is said, and the popular kid keeps looking out in the audience at his girlfriend.  You never get fully lost in the play.  What that means in review speak is that it seems like the chemicals and vitamins catch up to the flavor of the drink during the second half of each sip.  My mouth is left with a little bit of a syrupy feel after I’ve taken a gulp and the residue flavor isn’t all that wonderful.  The orange begins to taste like 3 year old Halloween candy and all of the fun I experienced in the first half goes by the wayside.  When all is said and done I’m left with an odd tasting orange soda. 

Will this help me start my day awake?  Of course it will; it has more caffeine than Mountain Dew.  I’d have to be a corpse for this not to wake me up somewhat.  Would I grab this before a coffee?  Yes, but I hate coffee.  Does it taste better than 5 Hour Energy?  Well I haven’t had all of the flavors, but yes it does taste better than 5 Hour Energy.  With all that said this site is about reviewing the taste of a beverage and ultimately this goes up against every orange soda I’ve tried and it stacks up as average.  So if you want to give breakfast Mountain Dew a chance to wake you up in the morning you probably won’t be disappointed and you should check out this website.  If you want to enjoy a delicious orange soda, look elsewhere.

A

This beverage supplied to us by PepsiCo

Featuring Twist by Dre

Koma Unwind Sugar Free

Ok, so this review is going to be quick and dirty.  Last week… I think… I reviewed Koma Unwind and was surprised at how delicious it was.  Today we have the sugar free version and once again I’m skeptical.  After thinking about it for a half a second it does seem to be a little self-defeating to have a “relaxation beverage” with sugar in it.  Looking at the ingredients of the sugar free Koma Unwind I see that Sucralose is present, so maybe this will at least resemble the fantastic flavor of its sweetened brethren.  Only one way to find out.

The smell is very similar, grape-tastic, so hopefully the taste won’t fall as flat as I’m expecting it to.  Here’s something fun that will lengthen this section to paragraph length.  Even though the can says “Sugar Free” throughout the design my brain continuously blurs it out.  It’s hidden right in front of my face.   There, that worked well enough.  Drinkin’ time.

Aww, drinking Koma Unwind Sugar Free is somewhat sad.  It’s like Koma Unwind died and after some time had passed my mouth is trying to remember what it tasted like.  The first flavor Koma Unwind Sugar-Free presents me with tastes like Mr. Chemical made it straight from the chemicals he grew in his garden.  Eventually you get a flavor that is reminiscent of Koma Unwind, but it just can’t shake the taste of its artificial sweetener.  Is it still a drinkable beverage?  Yes, but all the joy has been removed so I’m definitely not going to recommend it.  Let me make up a fun “math-esque” formula for all you egg-heads to follow.  Koma Unwind > Melatonin Pill > Ether > Koma Unwind  Sugar Free.  Before you go testing out that “formula” just know that I once scored a 12 on an Algebra II Final Exam.

~A

Even with someone as sweet as Twist near by it still needs sugar

Koma Unwind

We air a show where I work called Chris Lafferty’s Motorsports TV.  Now that’s not something you have to remember, except for Hannah’s corner… that’s fairly entertaining.  The important thing about that show is that it is home to a fantastic commercial for the beverage up for review today, Koma Unwind.  I don’t usually put a lot of multimedia in my reviews, but I must share this commercial with you.

Ok, now that you’ve (hopefully) watched it you should be able to see why I was drawn to Koma Unwind.  This is obviously not a big budget commercial and honestly the first time I saw it I thought it was for wine in a can.  Who knows, maybe this will taste like wine in a can.  That would be unfortunate, but at least I would be understanding about it. 

The enduring aspect of the commercial is that we’ve all been there.  You open the door and you’re greeted by your two kids, your dog, a basketball and a skateboard.  In fact this family has three skateboards which seems a bit overboard (pun intended) to me.  You just want to relax, but alas there is no time because now you have to cook dinner.  All you want to do is wind down over a hot stove, but your two daughters come calmly walking in with the dog on a leash.  What can you do except over emphasize the fact that you don’t want them anywhere near you?  You could scream, curse, throw up your hands and just walk away… or you could drink.  That’s what is implied initially, that the average stressed out mother would go straight for the bottle.... AHA!  Herein lies the twist (not the iguana).  You push the bottle out of the way to reveal a room temperature can of Koma Unwind and you pour THAT into your chalice. 

Then with dinner presumably cooking itself on the stove you wander into the living room and just relax.  Your kids, dogs, and presumably their skateboards, have vanished.  You no longer have a care in the world as you’re left with the slogan “RELAX NOW YOU CAN KOMA UNWIND”.  So as you see the commercial is a little cheesy, but I enjoy that “local TV” aspect of advertising.  “Wine in a can”, as I thought at the time, would be a fantastic review.  So I asked the nice people at Koma Unwind if they wouldn’t mind sending a few cans out for review and they happily obliged. 

Koma Unwind is indeed a relaxation beverage that includes the ingredient Melatonin.  Melatonin, as you might know, is a key ingredient in sleep aides.  This also has HFCS and Grape Juice concentrate in it.  Now many of the “relaxation beverages” have names like Purple Stuff and Sippin’ Syrup.  Here is where I must salute Koma Unwind for not trying to pander to the youth of (insert country here) by naming their beverage after an illegal substance.  No, Koma Unwind took the high road and simply named their soda the two words that would describe what it intended to do to you.  Sorry, I must correct myself.  Koma Unwind is listed as a Chillaxation Drink on its own label.  Fun fact, I made up the word “Chillax” close to 15 years ago; unless you’ve heard it prior to then you might as well believe that as well.  Ok, I’ve rambled enough… it’s time for a taste.

The aroma the snapped out of this ice cold can (I didn’t want to try it at room temp) is that of a grape soda.  No one should be surprised by this since the ingredients on the side of the can listed grape juice concentrate as an ingredient.  I am taken a back a bit on how sweet it smells.  I think it lists 31 grams of sugar, but I can’t really tell because the font is a bit fuzzy.  Drinkin’ time!

Well that’s delightful.  Koma Unwind tastes like liquid, carbonated, grape Nerds candy.  The grape flavoring is just about perfect and the carbonation packs a bit of a punch as well.  Well color me surprised.  Koma Unwind is one of the better grape sodas, if it can fit that description, I’ve had to date.  Yes I know that it’s full of chemicals, but if you know me then you know the more “fake” a grape soda is the more I’ll probably like it.  For the most part each sip stands alone, meaning the flavor doesn’t build upon itself.  The aftertaste I get from each gulp, and I am gulping this, is sweet and light.  I think the carbonation level is what surprises me most.  It’s not an intense tingling sensation, but I can feel the whispers of the bubbles in my mouth long after I’ve consumed the beverage.  I think that Koma Unwind did a great job in making a relaxation beverage on multiple fronts.  First and foremost the taste could be that of a “normal” grape soda.  It’s fruity and fun, with good fizz to boot.  Secondly, as I stated before, they didn’t give this drink a name associated with cough syrup.  Finally they have an amusing commercial that I’ve seen over 40 times thanks to work.  Now Koma Unwind isn’t the best relaxation drink we’ve ever reviewed.  That honor would have to go to Mary Jane’s Relaxing Soda… yes, yes, I know, the name thing, but they get away with it for being truly different.

~A

Twist cannot get any more relaxed

GolferAID

I know less about playing golf than every single one of our readers combined.  With that last sentence in mind you’ll understand why I was a bit hesitant to take on this review of GolferAID.  GolferAID is tagged as “The World’s Most Advanced Functional Golf Beverage”.  It’s sweetened with 9 grams of blue agave and has 3 grams of supplements.  Heck even on the back of the can it diagrams which ingredients help you with what.  For example it says that Glucosamine promotes joint health, and that Magnesium lessens muscle fatigue.  Bilberries, which I didn’t even know existed, apparently improve your visual acuity and balance.  Of course at the bottom in small print they have the legalese that the statements above haven’t been evaluated by the FDA… if this bothers you then so be it, if not so be it again. 

Ok, so GolferAID is chock full of golfy goodness.  I told the nice man who sent me this that I didn’t really care what it did for my nonexistent golf game.  All I cared about was how it tasted; I mean it is a soda after all.  He assured me that they would “take the Pepsi challenge with our drink against anything out there.”  Those are some bold words for a drink that at a glance I would call a golf energy drink.  Now maybe I’m wrong; this site has only reviewed 300+ drinks and while that seems like a large number on paper I bet it’s not even 2% of all the sodas out there.  So let’s get out on the green and tip back this can of 100% Natural GolferAID and see if it aces or bogeys.  Hopefully for your sake with that last sentence I’ve now exhausted all of my golf lingo

The scent to me is definitely citrus in origin.  Grapefruit is what it most closely resembles, but I’m not completely sure of even that.  Looking for the grapefruit in the ingredients I notice that stevia is also in here… sneaky, sneaky stevia.  Aside from the grapefruit aroma I’m also reminded of a protein shake.  By no means am I saying this will taste powdery and chalky, but the scent of GolferAID isn’t the most welcoming in the world.  On with the drinking!

Better than I thought it’d be.  The End.  While I can name several sodas on our site that would destroy this in the “Pepsi challenge” as far as supplemental beverages go it seems to be one of the better we’ve tried.  Of course “lifestyle beverages”, as we call them, do not get a free pass in terms of flavor so we’ll see how well it does in the long haul.  The initial taste is the worst part of your journey through GolferAID.  You’re greeted with a quick bitter slap in the mouth before it fades away creating a grapefruit-esque atmosphere in your gullet.  The carbonation level is almost non-existent due to the fact that they used agave to sweeten.  While I’m sure not being bloated on bubbles is beneficial to your golf game, I think that a bit more fizz to GolferAID would help its overall experience quite a bit. 

It’s sad to say the more I drink it the less I like it.  The flavor left on my lips is a pleasant one, but each gulp is becoming a bit more tasking.  Every sip reminds me I’m drinking what is basically a healthy energy drink.  Sure it has wonderful ingredients, but that doesn’t mean as much if a good taste isn’t attached to it.  I always want beverage companies to succeed in their craft, but on taste alone GolferAID doesn’t do that.  Maybe it’ll help you with your golf game, I’m not here to debate that point.  I’m here to tell you that if given the choice I’d pick a more delicious golf drink… SLICE!  See what I did there was take a non-golf drink with a golf term name and made a joke to tie the article all together.  Genius.

~A

(Note:  This beverage was supplied to us by GolferAID)

Twist was the secret founder of St Andrews

Zenify

With the holiday season wrapped up and all the orange soda consumed the stress level among the human population is now steadily declining.  If only there was some way to hurry up this stress relief, some sort of… soda.  Thanks to the fine folks at Zenify there just might be!  Zenify calls itself “the live stress free drink”, and says this no less than 4 times on each can.  This is apparently due to the active ingredient L-theanine which “increases serotonin and dopamine levels, promoting relaxation and concentration.”  This ingredient is followed up with the 2nd active ingredient Gaba which is “a natural calming agent that enhances relaxation and memory support.”  Something that amuses me about this “if the 90’s were still the future” can design is the fact that there are no capital letters in the primary design or explanation of the drink.  I was also told by the Zenify PR firm (this was given to us by them, btw) that it was sweetened with Stevia.  Now if you’ve read any review I’ve written about an only Stevia sweetened beverage you know I haven’t liked any of them.  Here’s the e-mail conversation that always happens between me and whoever is peddling the Stevia sweetened beverage.

Company X: Would you like to review this drink?  It’s sweetened with Stevia.

Totally Awesome Me:  Thanks!  I’d love to, but I’ve never liked a soda sweetened only with Stevia.

Company X: Yeah, me either, but ours is completely different and I actually like it.

T.A.M.:  Ok, can’t say I didn’t warn you.

Then I usually drink the beverage and dislike it, thus completing the Stevia cycle.  The folks at Zenify said that the citrus taste of Zenify should mask the terrible parts of the Stevia it’s sweetened with.  I think I’ve babbled long enough about it; it’s time to see if they’re correct.  Off we go!

I will say that Zenify smells a bit like grapefruit juice mixed with mango so they’re already off on the right foot with the old nose.  C’mon Zenify… wow me.

Thank you for not lying to me Zenify, the citrus flavor does indeed cover any terrible Stevia aftertaste that I might have experienced otherwise.  It’s light, fruity, and one of the more enjoyable “lifestyle beverages” I’ve had to date.  The primary taste to me is that of grapefruit, but I can’t seem to shake the mango off of my palate either.  I can’t tell if either of these fruits were used in making it because the ingredients list the ever vague “natural flavors”.  What I can do is tell you that this has a ridiculous amount of Vitamin C, B6, B12 and only 13 grams of sugar. 

Looking at the tiny print I noticed that Crystalline Fructose is also included in the ingredients.  According to Old Man Internet, Crystalline Fructose is 98% fructose and the rest are trace minerals and water.  It’s also apparently 20% sweeter than table sugar and 5% (not sure how you measure that) sweeter than HFCS.  However sweet it is I’m sure it’s helping cut into this Stevia aftertaste as well.  We once had a 50/50 drink sweetened with Stevia and Sugar and it was fantastic.  I really wish more companies would use Stevia like that instead of relying on it solely to sweeten their drink. 

Zenify isn’t a very sweet drink at all, relying more on the flavor of the fruit to carry the drink.  I don’t know if it’s due to the drink but I do feel more relaxed now that I’ve finished the can.  We don’t usually review the “affects” of a beverage, just the taste.  I’ll let you decide for yourselves if Zenify actually calms your body.  As for me, I’ll be drinking this again.

~A

(This beverage was supplied to us by Zenify)

Why is there an adorable monkey in this swag picture?  That's the kind of power Twist yields.