Hill Country Fare - Pineapple Soda

Sticking with the class of store brand sodas we move on from HEB brand grape to HEB brand pineapple soda.  The packaging is much of that like the grape, with the difference being a color scheme change. 

Upon first taste of this soda it gives you a crisp pineapple taste, with a little too much carbonation burn following it.  Although it doesn't taste as syrupy as pineapple juice, it does coat your mouth in a pineapple blanket after each sip.  Of course there isn't any real fruit juice in each can, since it's produced by a store. (it would be nice to see a store brand soda do such a thing though)

Overall it delivers exactly what you'd think a store brand pineapple flavored soda would.  It's a bit too sweet for me to consider making it a regular drink of mine.  If I'm thirsty and happen to have anything else in my fridge, I can see myself drinking the other most of the time. 

On an amusing note, the following is printed on the side of the can:

WE HOPE YOU ARE SATISFIED WITH THIS PRODUCT.  IF NOT, WE WILL CHEERFULLY REFUND YOUR MONEY.

Maybe it's just me, but I find humour in picturing someone returning this single can of pineapple soda.  The 1950's style store clerk behind the counter smiles at them, then gets 40 cents, and hands it to the customer... never breaking gaze.

~A

Hill Country Fare - Grape Soda

It seems that we start a lot of these stating that we haven't written in a while... so I'm gonna avoid that. I love grape soda, and I'm always open to trying new ones. I have a theory about them as well. I think that the cheaper the grape soda, the better it tastes. Couple that with the fact that we're trying to do beverages with a lower cost this year, and you have a review I'm happy to do. Hill Country Fare - Grape Soda is the store brand grape soda from HEB. It comes in 6 packs with those rings you should cut up to keep the dolphins and birds alive.

The can art is very generic, as it should be. The words "Artificially Flavored" are in a font that is equally as large as the word "Soda." They do not care that you know how un-natural that their soda is... and I appreciate that. This soda tastes like grape Dimetapp with some carbonation. It's got a fizzy mouth feel to it. My throat burns a little bit due to the carbonation, but it's not annoying by any means. The after-taste of grape soda lingers in your mouth a while after you've finished as well. I could sum up this review in one sentence. "This tastes like most any generic grape soda." I didn't do that just so you would know how much I enjoyed generic grape soda to begin with.

~A

Tab

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To bust into year two of The Soda Jerks, not only do we have a soda which both of us reviewed, I decided to do something out of the ordinary and review a drink which is:

a. Name brand

b. In a can (although it’s happened before)

c. Diet

That’s the big one. Diet. Honestly I thought if a diet soda was going to be reviewed that it would be, what else, a Virgil’s product, but no, I decided to try the granddaddy of them all, Tab.

Anyone who watches The Sarah Silverman Show knows that Tab is delicious, or at least sarcastically delicious. This is one of those things that every soda sommelier, professor of pop or cola connoisseur has to try once in their life.

It’s actually not that bad, although it’s 99% chemicals. This is probably the best diet soda I’ve ever had. Note that best diet soda doesn’t mean it’s anything great, it’s just the best of the diet sodas I’ve had.

I really don’t know what else to say. Tab is something you have to experience yourself. The best way I can describe it is Diet Coke but not anywhere near as awful. It’s cheap and still readily available so go get yourself one for funsies.

-Mike

Natural Brew -hand crafted- Outrageous Ginger Ale

I've been neglecting my postings for a bit too long now... so it's time to play catch-up. This week we start with Natural Brew *hand crafted* Outrageous Ginger Ale. Since that's a really long name, I'm just gonna call it Natural Brew Ginger Ale, or NBGA, from here on out.

I used to think I liked Ginger Ale. I liked Vernor's, Canada Dry, and Schweppes was even ok. Then I started trying stuff with real ginger in it, and I quickly realized I wasn't a fan of the 'real ginger' taste. I can honestly say that I have spotted NBGA on the shelf at my local store, and wanted to purchase it. The bottle I'm about to review was given to me from a friend.

Here goes. Ok, I don't like this. It kind of has a sickly sweetness about it, with the ginger burn that normally follows. This is something I would politely pretend to enjoy, and slowly pour it out in the process, while the person wasn't looking. It's just a bit too sweet for me, but not in a good way. The burn doesn't seem to be as much as previous ginger ales, but normally that doesn't hit full affect until at least half the bottle is consumed.

All in all I think I'm done with 'natural' ginger ale drinks for a while. There is obviously a market out there for them, I'm just not part of it. Give me my Vernor's any day, over these specialty drinks.

~A

Virgil's Special Edition Bavarian Nutmeg Root Beer

This is it... this is the current Holy Grail of Root Beer for me.  This is... Virgil's Special Edition Bavarian Nutmeg Root Beer.  This cost me $4.25 a bottle online to buy... but it had to be done.

The flavor does not disappoint.  It's got the greatness of Virgil's Root Beer, with a kick of nutmeg in it.  You know how some things say "Now with *ingredient*" but you can't taste it?  You can most definitely taste the nutmeg in this.

Another high point is the fact that the water used in this is from a well in Bavaria, considered one of the most pure sources of water in the world... that's freaking cool in my opinion.  Put all of this together in the best bottle I've ever seen anything in, and you have a winning combination.

I'm going to have to agree with Mike on this one though.

~A

I’ve never officially reviewed Virgil’s Root Beer, pretty much because one of us would take care of one beverage at a time, however, being that it’s a new year of The Soda Jerks, this will be our first beverage that we both review.

First of all the bottle. I mean, look at it. This is obviously the real deal here. Can you believe I’m going to give points to a drink for being “fun to open?”

Secondly, the water. This soda is made with water from a well in Bavaria. Wow. I mean, really? Talk about fancy.

Whatever is in the water it’s got a very crisp taste, just like the original. I’d say the key difference between this and the original is the nutmeg. It kind of brings out the vanilla flavor most of all.

The other difference is the price. It’s about $5 a bottle. A bottle. As noted we’re moving on to store brand and discount sodas.

I’m scoring this the same as the original because the price balances out the slight advantages it has over the original.

-Mike

Guarana Antarctica

I really don't know what Guarana Antarctica is going to taste like... but it sounds really refreshing. The nice lady that rang this up for me gave it rave reviews, "like a sweet ginger ale" she said. It comes in a green swirly can, and under the name of the drink it reads, "The Brazilian Orginal." I can only assume this is good at the moment, so let us open it up and find out for reals.

Well it is refreshing... and she's right (sort of). The closest thing I've had in flavor to this is Vernor's Ginger Soda. This is made with chemicals, but also has guarana in it. The last sentence should be a bit obvious due to the fact that Guarana is the name of the soda. It's less fizzy than ginger ale, and a little more sweet. The crisp flavor, which hints slightly of apple, is also nice. For some reason when it's in my mouth though, the inside of my lips stick to my teeth; that's a little odd. I don't think this is all that good for the enamel. While I enjoy the flavor, the adverse effects it's having on my teeth is offsetting.

~A

Fizzy Lizzy - Yakima Valley Grape

Ok... in my ongoing search for an awesome grape soda, I think I may have found a strong contender. Fizzy Lizzy. First off, you gotta love the name. The packaging of Fizzy Lizzy is great. With such great quotes as "Fruit & Fizz With Body" or "No Gunk, No Junk, Pure Crisp Filtered" and my personal favorite "Gently SHAKE my hips, Before placing to your lips." This drink is flirting with me and I like it! The back of the bottle reads as such "51% fruit juice + 49% fizzy water. No added sugars" The ingredients are Triple Filtered Water, Concord grape juice concentrate, white grape juice concentrate, lemon juice concentrate, natural flavor, and vitamin C. I'm gonna take this moment to tell you how happy it makes me when a beverage is good for you. This includes 100% of the vitamin C you need in a day. It also has 29 grams of sugar, all from fruit juice. As I said before, I've hyped this up in my mind to potentially being the greatest grape soda ever. Let's you, and me, find out together.

It smells like grape juice, which I guess would be pretty obvious after reading the back of the bottle. Well I can't very well call it grape soda anymore because of the amount of juice. In a sentence it tastes like fizzy grape juice... which is exactly what it is. It seems to have a bit of a fermented taste as well, but nothing over powering. I like the crisp grape flavor that it leaves in my mouth. I like grape juice, but this doesn't leave that mucus feel that straight grape juice would. While the bottle pleased me greatly, the beverage is just above average. I can't criticize them though, they delivered exactly what they said they would. Fizzy water + Fruit Juice = Fizzy Lizzy.

~A

Cricket Pomegranate Raspberry Enhanced with Green Tea

Mike enjoyed the Cricket Cola he had so much, and spoke of the Cricket brand so highly, I decided it was time for me to try it as well. I went with Cricket Pomegranate Raspberry Enhanced with Green Tea. The bottle design is great, I really enjoy the style Cricket uses in their products. The label also claims to be "All Natural", and I'm sure you know by now that usually equates to higher ratings in our book. The ingredients are as follows: Sparkling Filtered Water, Invert Cane Sugar, Brewed Green Tea Concentrate, Citric Acid, Natural Pomegranate Raspberry Flavor, and Fruit and Vegetable Juice for color.

That is a very impressive list of ingredients, it may not go to the ends of the earth like Virgil's Root beer, but it doesn't need to. Also on the bottle they make sure you see that there is an equivalent to two cups of Green Tea in each bottle. I personally have no hatred, nor fondness of green tea. It works in some situations, like we are about to see. In others it's a bit odd, like in Steaz Green Tea Root beer.

The mouth feel of this is very light, slightly bubbly, and just enough flavor. You can taste both the Pomegranate and Raspberry very easily. It tastes healthy, and I don't mean that in a V8 kind of way. It's so light, and has just the right mixture of fruit flavoring that it couldn't be bad for you. The green tea flavoring makes an appearance at the end of you drink, a bit strong for me, but still needed. Never does your mouth feel syrupy, which is nice. If I had to make any improvements on it, I'd probably move it a notch or two in a stronger flavor direction. The only problem with that is you begin testing the balance of flavor, and light mouth feel.

~A

Goya Coconut Soda

Time to take a trip to Mexico, and try out an unusual Goya flavored drink. Stepping up to be reviewed is Coconut Soda... let's give it a try.

The first thing I can tell you is that the flavor is very, very light. If you thought you'd be over powered with coconut, you'd be way off base. I actually have to pause for a moment to make sure I even tasted anything. I'm on my fourth gulp and it's only in the aftertaste that I'm even beginning to taste this. It does taste like coconut, but I think even those that hated coconut would be fine with this beverage. The ingredients do not impress me either: Carbonated Water, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Artificial Flavors, and Citric Acid. Are those not the most boring flavors ever? I can say that it is kind of refreshing, but I'd still like some flavor with my refreshment.

The bottom of this beverage begins to taste a little sickly sweet. I'm not sure if the very light flavor has slowly built up in my mouth, or if it's just the bottom of the bottle. Every time I burp I keep expecting some sort of remnant of what I just drank, but no such luck. I would normally write more, but this has no taste, and I can't keep saying that even though I have.

~A

Reed's Ginger Beer

While I was picking up my standard soda's for review this week at HEB, I decided to try some of Reeds Ginger Ale. When I got home, much to my chagrin, I had picked up Ginger Beer. Ginger Beer, as both Mike and I describe it, is like Ginger Ale + Fire. I figured that Reeds might be a bit different, because of the excellent products Reeds puts out.

After getting my first taste I was pleasantly surprised. It tasted like a Ginger Ale, and Ginger Snap, combination with a refreshing value to it. As I continued with the bottle the slight hint of fire began to invade my palate. I got to about halfway down the bottle until it wasn't refreshing for me anymore... then I had to stop. I knew where this road lead, and I wasn't going to go down it.

~A

Topo-Sabores Orange

We have an orange soda for today's review, Topo-Sabores Orange. I've never had a soda from Topo-Sabores, but I do enjoy Jarritos, and it seems to be very similar in style. To be honest with you I bought this because of the Lion on the bottle. My expectations for this are average at best, as it's hard to set yourself apart in the Orange Soda market. Here we go.

I enjoy using a bottle opener to open my bottles, for some reason it just feels kind of 'Old Timey' to me. The smooth bottle top also works better when you're drinking from the bottle. Hey, I was right, this is your average orange soda. It does have a bit of a bite to it, which I enjoy in my orange soda's. I'm going to finish it before finishing this review though, I've learned that many orange soda's get better as you drink them. While I've finished this beverage, it's still no more than a solid orange soda. It's not that sweet, and the carbonation is just right. I am still left waiting for an orange soda to blow me away. Love the lion though.

~A

Boylan's Grape Soda

I love grape soda, and I'm anxiously waiting for one to blow me away with its awesomeness. I picked Boylan's Grape Soda because it's sweetened with pure cane sugar, and I like the old school simplistically designed bottle. I'm even looking forward to it even more because apparently the Boylan's Brand has been registered since 1891... if it can withstand the test of time it must be good right? Here goes.

This is your average grape soda. I could stop right here, but since I like to put a few words with my review, I'll do my best to do so. It's a grape soda, but not one with a lot of bite to it. It's smoother than other grape soda's, but not to the point where you'd set it above the rest of them. I'm disappointed in my choice now, but I probably hyped it up to much in my head to be honest with you. I love grape soda, so of course this tastes good to me, but I'm not going to recommend it over any other grape soda's out there.

~A

IZZE - Sparkling Blackberry

Today's drink review installment is not so much a soda, as a sparkling water. I'm counting it though, as it is a carbonated, flavored, non-alcoholic, beverage. As the title says, I'm reviewing IZZE Sparkling Blackberry. Before we I start this I must say that I really enjoy their logo, I would happily wear it on clothing.

According to the label this is 70% pure fruit juice, which is a nice change from the normal 10-20% that other drinks might have in it. I'm especially thirsty right now, so hopefully this helps quench as well. I haven't liked flavored sparkling water in the past, but I must say this is a pleasant surprise. The blackberry flavoring is strong, but not so strong it over powers your tastebuds. It leaves your tongue fizzing for a few seconds after you've drank it, and the flavor of blackberry definitely stays with you. The label also states that each bottle is equal to two servings of fruit based on the USDA's 2005 Dietary Guidelines.... but to eat whole fruits as well.

I'm very happy with the honesty, and simplicity of this company. It's a carbonated fruit juice drink... and it does that job very well. The after taste stayed with me longer than I'd like, but it's not something that would keep me from buying it. In fact I look forward to trying other flavors in the brand.

~A

Materva - Yerba Mate Soda

Alright, now hopefully this next beverage is a little better than Malta Hatuey. It kind of has to be since vomiting in my own mouth is better than Malta Hatuey... it's called Materva. Actually, it's called Materva Yerba Mate Soda. I don't know what Yerba Mate Soda is, but hopefully it's good.

Thank you, whoever makes this! The most simple way I can put it is this, it's a sweet apple soda. I haven't tried many apple soda's in my lifetime, but this one is tops thus far. In fact this is one of the smoothest apple soda's I've ever had as well. Wait a second, hold that thought. After reading the packaging, there is no apple flavoring in this. The only extract that is in Materva is "Extract of Mate". This has piqued me into doing some research. One moment please.

Ah! A Yerba Mate is a species of holly native to subtropical South America. Apparently the extract of mate is quite a positive thing, with what some believe to be health benefits. Well, either way it still tastes like a sweet apple soda to me, but if it's holly, let it be holly. I would definitely drink this again, the packaging is a little bland, but I really don't mind. I now understand what the cup and twig are on the front, thanks to my good old fashioned research.

~A

Malta Hatuey

Ok, so this intro is going to be short, and sweet as I really want to try this beverage out. It comes from my Caribbean supplier of drinks. It's called "Malta Hatuey - A Non Alcoholic Cereal Beverage". That alone scares me, and the fact that my supplier hates it so much he told me to drink it from a medicine cup. Well no guts, no glory, so here we go.

Before I take a drink, I noticed the horrible smell coming from the bottle, so I read the ingredients; Fructose, Corn Syrup, Mellomalt, Caramel malt, and Hops. I see this being a one swig review.

Oh wow, that's horrible. This is by far the worst drink I've ever had in my entire life. I couldn't drink this if I had to. I got just a little in my mouth for a taste, and immediately hated it. I can still taste the aftertaste of the little bit that I had. It's like they liquefied cheerios, and added some horrible, horrible flavor to it, because liquefied cheerios weren't bad enough. The only redeeming value of this drink is the labeling, not very often you see a Native American on the label. Either way... it's horrible.

~A

Orginal Ginseng UP!

We're still in the islands, and this time I'm afraid. In front of me sits a bottle of Ginseng UP, that's not what frightens me. What frightens me is what is written on the label. "Ginseng UP. Taste for the Ginseng Connoisseur. No Artificial Ingredients Added.!" Now I don't consider myself a Ginseng Connoisseur by any means, in fact the fact that the only graphic on the bottle is a Ginseng root makes me wary. Add to the fact that it looks like dirt is floating in the bottle, and you have some more of my fear. Hey at least there is some honey in here. Time to stop being a baby, drinky drinky!

I can tell you right now I'm not finishing this. That honey I spoke of earlier, yeah it's mutated into some sort of sickly sweet monstrosity. While this does have some nutritional value (80% of the Vitamin C you need in a day) and I do indeed like some teas with Ginseng... this is way too Ginsengy for me. Now don't get me wrong, I can tell why someone might like this. My initial taste is very good, very clean, but that is quickly replaced with that sickly sweetness that turns my mouth downward. The fact that the bottle is clear, and showing off the urine like color just reinforces my opinion that my taste buds just aren't made for this drink. The labeling seems very medical, and unfriendly. Now with well over half a bottle left, I bid Ginseng UP ado. Best of luck.

~A

Pink Ting

We're going back to the Caribbean drink collection, out of it comes Pink Ting. First a little history. Here's the rundown from the official Ting website.

"Ting soda brand is more than 25years old and is made from real delicious Jamaican. The demand for Ting soda had been stable for years so the growing of Trees to meet demand was also stable. However the trees were becoming old and diseased as little re-planting took place. Since 2000 the demand for Ting soda brand has doubled in Jamaica which has doubled the demand for the Juice. Since 2000 "TING" has supplied 100% of these uniquely propagated seedlings to Citrus farmers in Jamaica. These Farmers are guaranteed the world grapefruit price in exchange for all the available grapefruit. The trees take 4 years to grow and mature in the rich Jamaican soil and fruit in the Jamaican sunshine. This is why we say "Ting Grapefruit Soda" is a little island sunshine in a bottle. Your demand creates a cycle of events to which culminates in the growing of delicious refreshing grapefruit juice. Please try our Ginger Beer and diet ting soda."

In short, in case you skipped all them crazy words above, Ting is a Jamaican beverage, with natural grapefruit flavors. Pink Ting, according to the label, is a mixture of real Jamaican grapefruit, and natural pink grapefruit. Really there isn't a lot to say about the drink though. It delivers on its promise to the nines.

Pink Ting tastes like carbonated grapefruit juice. There, that's it. If you like grapefruit juice, you'll like Pink Ting. Me? Well I'm pretty impartial to grapefruit juice, but this is tasty. It does claim to be the "Ultimate Thirst Quencher" but I don't really agree with that. Overall I'd say it's a tasty beverage, but not one I'll buy again as I'm not crazy for that good ol' grapefruit flavor. The most negative thing I can say though is about the packaging. It's Pink. Yes I know, it's called Pink Ting, so why wouldn't the packaging be pink? It's a pretty girly package though, and my masculinity was dented in the purchase of it. I exaggerate greatly, but c'mon, even the font is girly!

~A

Health Cola

When I first eyed Health Cola on the shelves at my local market place I knew I was going to end up drinking it. I thought "Wow 'Health Cola' can it sound any worse." Then I looked on the back label and saw that it had 150% of the Vitamin C I needed in a day. Wow, this has gotta be like drinking mud. I had already been jaded by other "healthy cola's" such as Diet Coke Plus... which is horrible. Never in the history of earth does sweet + healthy = tasty. Diet Rootbeer is a perfect example as well, as it is a hell-spawned beverage. Health Cola looked like it would be following those examples perfectly. With its name, somewhat boring package, and boring tag line of "Real Cola Taste". Let me just get this out of the way now. I was wrong to judge it. I'm so very sorry Health Cola, I'm so very, very, very, sorry.

Health Cola has a pretty good taste, nay, a GREAT taste. If you are a fan of RC Cola in the slightest, just improve that flavor in your mind a bit, and remove some of the carbonation, and you have health cola. The sugar used is from fruit, so it has a slow burn which keeps the 'crash' after consumption from happening. The caffeine used is from coffee beans. Now listen to me coffee haters, I am one of you. I HATE coffee, and this tastes nothing like coffee, I wouldn't drink it if it did. This is the best all around cola I think I've had to date. Just for kicks, here's the nutrition label.

Usually when I buy a four pack of soda's it costs me over $5, but Health Cola ran under that, which is always a plus in my book. It's not the easiest cola to find, but if you can, give it a try. If I had to pick a negative, it's the lack of screw off cap, but really I don't care that much. I know there is better stuff out there, but I haven't tasted it yet.

~A

(Note:  This beverage was provided to us by Health Cola)

Sof Drink Kola Champagne

Another drink in the 'what my co-workers give me' file is Kola Champagne. The bottle is pretty plain, the drink a light orange, but the cat mascot sipping the named product is fantastic. Upon opening this I realize it smells a lot like cream soda. I was told it's a sugary drink, but lets find out.

It's not nearly as sugary tasting as I thought it would be, but it is pretty sweet in flavor. The bottle claims the drink has it's 'Original Jamaican Flavour' and I can't argue that it doesn't, as I'm not sure what that was. Kola Champagne has a cream flavor about it, with a nice little buzz of carbonation. I'd even go so far as to say it has a hint of citrus in it. It does leave your mouth feeling pretty clean, doing an excellent job of removing the flavor of whatever food you may be eating. You mouth does have a bit of a sugary flavor though after every drink, this could get annoying to some.

I like this drink, quite a bit actually, but I can't seem myself seeking it out. I prefer a standard cream soda to this, but it's nice to try something different every once and again. Kind of like Dr. Pepper Berries and Cream, you enjoy it, but you always go back to Dr. Pepper.

~A

Mike Update - 09/01/10

Combining two things I've reviewed recently, this is kola champagne from Sof Drink.  Unlike the kola champagne from Ginseng Up, this one has HFCS and sodium benzoate instead of Korean ginseng tea.  Goodie. 

Drinking it I can also tell you another difference:  this is horrible.  My brain did this when taking the first sip "okay this is kinda like cream soda too...okay now it's like dirt."  I think I'm going to keep this one short.  I mean, do I really need to go on?  I just compared it to dirt.

Orangina

I really enjoy this site sometimes, people bring me new drinks to try; Orangina is one of those drinks. First off the bottle is awesome, it reminds me of a $4 lemonade I purchased a few days ago... hopefully it tastes better.

I was told by the bottle to "shake it!" with emphasis on the exclamation point. So now that it's shaken, let's give it a whirl. This is definitely not a soda, of course it doesn't claim to be either. It claims to be a "Sparkling Citrus Beverage with Natural Pulp" then to the left of that gives me some fun percentages. I love percentages. Orangina is 12% Juice (I can only assume Orange) and 2% pulp. After looking at the ingredients, I'm only surprised by one... lemon juice. This literally tastes like orange juice and carbonation. I can barely tastes the lemon, but I think I'm happier because of it.

I'm eating soup while drinking this, and what I've learned from this is that Orangina, to me, is a breakfast drink. I could see myself grabbing a bottle of this the morning of a road trip somewhere, we'll say Florida just for grins. It's like an orange juice with pep, because of it's bubblies it'll wake you up a little faster. It won't ever replace orange juice for me, as it doesn't have enough vitamin C for the label to claim. All in all, Orangina is a pretty good drink. I probably won't buy anymore, unless I take that morning road trip to Florida, but that doesn't mean it's not worth trying.

~A