Leninade

When I opened my fridge today I just couldn’t resist grabbing the bottle of Leninade that’s been staring at me for the past month or so.  I’ve wanted to try Leninade for the past two or three years so when I found it in my local ACE Hardware I immediately placed into my basket.  Leninade is of course a reddish beverage who’s bottle sports such slogans as “Join the Party!”, “Get Hammered & Sickled!” and the slightly more obscure “A Taste Worth Standing in Line For!”.  The back has a few words written in Russian as well as another amusing statement, “Our 5-Year Plan:  Drink a bottle a day for five years and become a Hero of Socialist Flavor.”  So Leninade is already winning the war in style points.  They’ve themed this bottle to an impressive point and I’ve taken notice.  It’s one of the reasons I’ve wanted to try this beverage for so long.  Looking at the ingredients I see that Cane Sugar is the sweetener of choice for Leninade.  Good for them.  I can only assume that with a name like Leninade I’m about to consume a soda that tastes somewhat like lemonade.  It rhymes, so why would it taste like anything else.  That’s solid logic… right?  Ok, so I need to hush up and drink now.  See you on the other side of the smell paragraph.

Ok, before I start this I noticed something stamped on my bottle.  Not something printed on the official label, but stamped… like the expiration date kind of stamped.  It’s a sentence that reads “Imagine All the Soda”.  That’s it and it makes me really happy for some reason because I am imagining “All the Soda”.  Anywho… the aroma that is assaulting my nose is that of a very caustic sour lemon.  So apparently my rhyming logic may end up proving true.  I have no doubts that this beverage will declare war on my throat because it’s made by Real Soda, a brand that has burnt my mouth on more than one occasion. 

Well this isn’t as caustic or amazing as I thought it would be.  It certainly is lemonade based like I predicted, but to be more specific it’s “pink” lemonade.  The communist jokes just keep on coming for the folks at Real Soda.  The amount of tart has been increased just a bit from your common pink lemonade and of course it’s carbonated.  Lemonade with carbonation is normally a win/win situation.  You get the tastiness of lemonade with the fun fizziness of carbonation.  Like I said, win/win.  Leninade does indeed have the fun combo, but nothing else really stands out about this product.  With all the theming they put into the bottle I really hoped that the soda inside would be more than average.  If you want a fizzy, somewhat-sour pink lemonade with an average aftertaste then look no further because mediocrity is staring you in the face.  Now, if you’re a collector of amusing bottles or fake U.S.S.R. memorabilia then Leninade was made for you and should be used at your birthday/wedding/funeral.  Your decision, Comrade.

~A

Twist served in the Soviet Army back in the late 1800's... something about impressing a woman.

Boylan Shirley Temple

The fine folks at Boylan wrote me the other day and asked if they could send a four pack of their new Spring Seasonal - Shirley Temple over for review.  Having enjoyed Boylan’s before, I of course lept at the opportunity and now here I sit with Boylan Shirley Temple in front of me.  If you’re not familiar with what a Shirley Temple is besides the cutest little star this side of 1934, I’ll tell you.  A Shirley Temple is a non-alcoholic beverage made with ginger-ale, a splash of grenadine, and a couple of maraschino cherries.  That is the classic recipe at least.  Nowadays the ginger ale is usually substituted with a lemon/lime soda for a reason unknown to me.  Well bottlers at Boylan decided it’d be a great idea to bottle this flavor and once again here I sit ready to drink this cane sugar sweetened concoction.  The color of the liquid is a beautiful shade of rose.  The classic Boylan label adorns the bottle with a spring time color theme that seems very appropriate for the drink at hand.  Enough waiting, more drinking.

I wish I had a flower garden that smelled of Boylan Shirley Temple.  A brisk cherry scent floated about until kissing my nose with delight.  There’s also a hint of Twizzler which brings me back to reality and says that I should stay cautious.

So very fizzy.  The quick burst of cherry is almost immediately consumed by a flurry of tiny bubbles.  When the chaos ends I’m happy to see that the cherry flavor has survived and is sitting happily upon my tongue awaiting my review.  While the flavor does indeed linger after each sip it only overstays its welcome for a few moments.  You see, the mouth-feel of Boylan Shirley Temple is very effervescent at first and only begins to weigh down near the conclusion of my sip.  Unfortunately this involves the cherry taste building upon itself with subsequent sips which weakens the overall taste of the beverage.  I’m not struggling to drink it by any means, but the first impression I got does not match my last.  Thankfully the built up flavor never reaches a level of disgust, just unpleasantness.  It’s difficult for fruit based sodas to avoid building upon themselves and I can only think of a few where it actually improves the taste of the beverage.  I do wish the cherry flavoring tasted a bit more natural, but the flavor of maraschino cherries isn’t exactly found in nature.  All in all Boylan Shirley Temple is a delightful beverage.  While improvements could be made I don’t think I’d mind a pack being in my fridge right now.

~A

This beverage supplied to us by Boylan

Twist was on his way out the door for a meeting

MTN Dew Kickstart Fruit Punch

Alright, so yesterday I reviewed Kickstart Orange Citrus from Mountain Dew.  If you haven’t read the review please do so that you might be caught up on all that is involved with this pair of reviews.  Today’s flavor of Mountain Dew Kickstart is Fruit Punch.  Now initially I had higher hopes for the Orange Citrus, but was let down somewhat when the second half of the flavor fell flat for me.  Here’s hoping Fruit Punch ends up being a better way for my mouth to wake up in the morning.  Onward!

The scent that comes from Mountain Dew Kickstart Fruit Punch isn’t nearly as powerful as the Citrus Orange.  I really have to put my nose to the can to get a discernible fruit punch smell.  It has a light fruity aroma, but nothing that really gives me any insight as to what this might taste like.

Immediately this can of Kickstart shows me that it means business.  Where the Citrus Orange tickled my mouth with bubbles for the first half of the sip; the Fruit Punch waits for me to swallow then goes at the back of my throat with a sharp knife.  It’s definitely an experience that would wake you up.  As for the flavor I’m not all that impressed.  If you have ever been an infant or have infants of your own you’ve probably tasted Pedialyte.  Mountain Dew Kickstart Fruit Punch is Pedialyte soda and you can imagine that doesn’t fare well for me.  The taste feels incomplete as a good fruit punch flavor becomes bogged down with the other nonsense in the can.  Pretend you have a friend who’s a good person, but their significant other just turns them into a miserable mess.  When you look at them you can tell they’re trying to still be good at heart.  They force smiles and laughs all the while dying inside.  Kickstart Fruit Punch is that good friend of yours.  If only they would separate from that awful person then you might enjoy there company again. 

My mouth is coated in a medicinal syrup that just won’t let go of the inside of my cheeks.  I want to like this I really do, but it’s just not happening.  Each sip just keeps taking me on the same experience.  It’s like going through the tunnel of love with someone that likes you, but the feeling’s not mutual.  The first time is awkward.  The tenth is a nightmare as it just keeps building upon itself eventually becoming no fun for even the initially happy person in the boat.  On that note, were tunnels of love ever an actual thing or did they just appear in cartoons as a comic device?  Sorry, I just don’t want to drink anymore.  The only thing saving this beverage from our lowest score is the potential the fruit punch shows before it’s dragged back down by the other faults of the beverage.

~A

This beverage supplied to us by PepsiCo

Twist is a Pedialyte fiend.

MTN Dew Kickstart Orange Citrus

I’ve received a lot of merchandise over the years reviewing sodas.  Most of it consists of the sodas themselves freely given to me so that I might review them.  Sometimes I’m given hats, stickers, shirts, or the occasional coaster.  My mind exploded yesterday when I got a promotional package from Mountain Dew for their new Kickstart line of beverages.  Before I continue let me explain what Kickstart is. 

Kickstart is basically the Mountain Dew you’re supposed to drink in the morning and you can do so with either Orange Citrus or Fruit Punch.  To quote the promotional material I received it “combines the great taste of DEW with real fruit juice and just the right amount of kick to start your day.”  So instead of grabbing for that cup of coffee or that tiny bottle of mediocre tasting energy drink, they folks at Mountain Dew want you to grab a can of Kickstart instead.  Ok, so I’m not big on drinking sodas when I wake up, but I can’t argue that there isn’t a market for it.  People drink all kinds of wake me up juice in the morning.  Who am I to judge?  Let me back up to what this promotional box of Kickstart held for me.

Twist was also impressed with the build quality of the box

The first thing that caught my eye was the iPod Shuffle, then the Spy+ glasses, then the Beats by Dre headphones.  I tell you what was in the box so you know that I got swag attached to my soda.  I feel it’s only fair to be truthful about these kinds of things and also believe that you should know I’ve given some of it away.  Personally I don’t believe I can be swayed by material goods and I’m not saying that Mountain Dew was trying to sway me into giving a false review because I honestly believe they aren’t.  The only time I would feel odd reviewing a soda is if I worked for the company that made It and in that case probably wouldn’t review it.  With that said, I still felt it necessary to disclose everything attached to said swag box so you would know all of the variables before I drank this.  Oh, the note attached reads “We’ve included everything you need right here to get your day started right.  So crack open the can, throw on your Spys and turn up your Beats.  Get up, get out and let Kickstart by Mountain DEW KICKSTART YOUR DAY!” Review begins now.

Mountain Dew Kickstart Orange Citrus comes large in a 16 oz. can.  It’s made with 5% juice, has 100% value of the Vitamin C you need in a day, 80% B6 and a few other things as well.  There are only 20 grams of sugar in this which honestly surprises me so I’m guessing the Kickstart must come from the C, B, and Caffeine included in the beverage.  With a little research I find that this finds itself somewhere in the middle of the scale when it comes to comparing how much caffeine it has with other Mountain Dew types.  I’m not sure I need to say it’s sweetened with HFCS, but there you have that as well.  The bright orange can paired with the fact that concentrated orange juice is in the ingredients is making me wonder if this will taste anything like Orangina.  I guess there’s only one way to find out.

What smells like a delightfully light orange soda rushes out of the mouth of the can.  The more it wafts into my nostrils the more I get the scent of actual orange juice.  By aroma alone this is shaping up to be a delightful beverage.

Alright, that’s not half bad.  I was honestly expecting this to be a somewhat awkward missmash of orange and dew.  If I’d thought about it for longer than a second I would realize that the citrus of Dew would obviously pair well with another citrus flavor.  The mouth feel I initially experience is rather pleasant as it completely encompasses my mouth in tiny fizzy bubbles.  A decent orange soda flavor is also present for the first half of each sip, but that’s where the happy times end.  First act of Mountain Dew Kickstart Orange Citrus is like going to a local theatre group.  The actors are all doing pretty well and you’re enjoying the play just fine.  Sure the scenery might not be ultra-realistic, but you’re having a good time.  The second act is comparable to a junior high play.  Lines are flubbed, snickers are heard when the word “damn” is said, and the popular kid keeps looking out in the audience at his girlfriend.  You never get fully lost in the play.  What that means in review speak is that it seems like the chemicals and vitamins catch up to the flavor of the drink during the second half of each sip.  My mouth is left with a little bit of a syrupy feel after I’ve taken a gulp and the residue flavor isn’t all that wonderful.  The orange begins to taste like 3 year old Halloween candy and all of the fun I experienced in the first half goes by the wayside.  When all is said and done I’m left with an odd tasting orange soda. 

Will this help me start my day awake?  Of course it will; it has more caffeine than Mountain Dew.  I’d have to be a corpse for this not to wake me up somewhat.  Would I grab this before a coffee?  Yes, but I hate coffee.  Does it taste better than 5 Hour Energy?  Well I haven’t had all of the flavors, but yes it does taste better than 5 Hour Energy.  With all that said this site is about reviewing the taste of a beverage and ultimately this goes up against every orange soda I’ve tried and it stacks up as average.  So if you want to give breakfast Mountain Dew a chance to wake you up in the morning you probably won’t be disappointed and you should check out this website.  If you want to enjoy a delicious orange soda, look elsewhere.

A

This beverage supplied to us by PepsiCo

Featuring Twist by Dre

C&C Pineapple

With the completion of this review my count of remaining C&C brand sodas reaches two!  I’m not excited to be done with C&C because they’re awful or anything, they taste just fine thank you.  My excitement stems from getting back into a variety of soda types and flavors.  Believe my I’m gracious for the 24 sodas sent my way thanks to C&C, but our time together is ending and that’s ok too.  What am I reviewing?  While I’m happy you asked that with this paragraph soon coming to an end.  Today’s bottle of sugary bubble water is C&C Pineapple.  Unfortunately, pineapple soda all tastes rather average to me as I’ve yet to be completely blown away by one.  Who knows, maybe today will be the review that changes all that. 

A healthy, but somewhat chemically enhance odor bursts from the bottle’s mouth.  While it’s not  an exact replica of pineapple juice the aroma was close enough for me to not give up hope on this being a delicious rendition of pineapple soda.  Now it’s time to find out if my day will end in disappointment ore exuberance. 

Well I’m not disappointed nor am I exuberated.  Fun fact, I typed exuberated expecting it to be a word I just made up… imagine my surprise when I did not find the squiggly red line of misspell parked underneath it.  Speaking of surprise, the only aspect of C&C Pineapple soda that garners such a reaction is how mediciney (there’s my red squiggle friend) it tastes.  Yes, there’s no mistaking that the flavor of pineapple is every present, but it is become less enjoyable with each sip.  With my first sip I was greeted with a fairly nice pineapple soda.  For every following sip the medicine pineapple taste begins to build on itself creating a somewhat unpleasant tasting curtain of syrup in my mouth.  The carbonation level could be higher as I feel a sharper bite might help mask this doctor prescribed flavor.  It’s odd that I gave points to the amoxicillin flavored C&C Topical Fruit Punch, yet I take away from C&C Pineapple because it tastes like a medicine I have no fond memories of.  Ah well, thems the breaks.  C&C Pineapple isn’t a great soda, heck I wouldn’t even call it good, but I’ve consumed worse things.  With that said though, I just can’t recommend you buy it.

~A

This beverage supplied to us by C&C

Twist suggested a cottage cheese soda to accompany.  I politely refused.

C&C Grape

Alright C&C, you’ve entered my wheelhouse.  If there’s something I love it’s a good generic grape soda and judging by your label art this one has the potential of being super generic.  Simply called C&C Grape, the bottle stands in front of me shaking out of fear… or because my desk is easily shaken by the slightest percussion of my fingers.  With delicious generic grape to be had I will wait no more to taste the HFCS sweetened nectar that waits.

Oooh, the delicate aroma of grape drink hits my nostrils in a chemical blast.  I can only assume that this is what the “purple stuff” in the back of the fridge seen in those old Sunny D commercials smelled like.  If the taste of C&C Grape is as good as its odor then I’m in for a real treat.  There’s only one way to find out.  Well I guess I could ask someone, but where’s the fun in that?

Interesting, this has more of a natural grape taste than I was assuming it would.  Here I figured this would taste completely fake yet the first thing my tongue told my brain it tasted was grape juice.  With that grape juice taste comes just enough carbonation to remind me that I’m drinking a soda.  There is a touch of burn that tickles my throat with each sip.  I would like that burn to be stronger to remind me that I’m alive.  Besides being reminded of my mortality I would also like the burn to be more noticeable because it would give this beverage a bit more depth.  What I’m left with is a grape juice-esque tasting soda that is slightly sweeter than the juice it resembles.  Now I may be showing my disappointment that I didn’t get a super fake chemical tasting soda, but I think I’m justified in that opinion.  If I wanted grape juice I’d drink some grape juice and be done with it.  The fact that it tastes more “natural” than your typical grape soda was a pleasant surprise, although not enough for me to give it point for doing so.  Overall C&C Grape soda may be a decent alternative for those who dislike the taste of purple sugar water.  They’ve tried to stand apart from the aforementioned “purple stuff” and I feel that they were successful in doing so… it just wasn’t my thing.

~A

This beverage supplied to us by C&C

Grape soda with a Twist.  Ha. Ha. Ha.

C&C Golden Peach

With 5 more C&C beverages to go we’re nearing the end of our time with the soda manufacturer.  Today I’ve chosen a personal favorite flavor in world of sodas… peach.  Technically it’s C&C Golden Peach and I will say that adding the adjective “golden” increases m y want factor of this beverage. Look, peaches come from a can.  They were put there by a man.  In a factory downtown.  Then someone tasted those peaches and decided they should be in a soda.  Peach soda is one of those sodas that don’t need to be all natural to be good.  Since C&C is chock full of chemicals as long as this soda has a strong enough flavor and tastes like peach then they should have no issue with me enjoying it.  So let’s take a page from James and jump right on into this giant bottle of peach soda.

The familiar smell of rich, chemically enhanced, peach throws itself down my nostrils.  Like I said before, sometimes the chemicals help the cause and while I enjoy an all-natural soda as much as the next person you can’t discount peach in any form.

This has a uniquely familiar flavor to it.  It tastes like it was made with millions of peaches.  Peaches for me!  Ok, so that reference was forced... it is tasty though.  With all of the other peach sodas I’ve had one of the key traits is how sweet they taste.  C&C Golden Peach seems to understand that sweetness is important with a peach flavor beverage, but not everything.  The tart bite of a peach is what C&C used to fill the left over flavor room they had by not just loading this soda up with sugar.  In doing so I’m treated to a very natural tasting soda in terms of “does this taste like an actual peach”.  Of course it’s not going to replicate it perfectly, but C&C Golden Peach is a very strong entry in the peach soda market.  The excellent flavor is enhanced by the fact that the carbonation levels are strong enough to give your throat a slight burn and not make it seem like you’re just sitting in your house drinking peach syrup out of a can.  Speaking of syrup, the HFCS used in the making of this soda does not weigh heavily in your mouth after each sip.  I’m about a third of the way finished with the bottle and it doesn’t seem to be building on itself that much either.  Could this soda be improved?  Sure it could, it could use natural ingredients, have better bottle art, and be a bit lighter in the mouth feel department.  I’m still going to recommend you pick up multiples of it though.  Look out.

~A

If Twist had his little way he'd eat peaches everyday

C&C Tropical Fruit Punch

Today’s beverage from C&C is looking pretty appetizing to me.  C&C Tropical Fruit Punch is what sits in front of me tempting me with its potentially fruity flavor.  I don’t know what it is about today, but some part of me is craving a carbonated fruit punch beverage with some citrus kick to it and hopefully C&C Tropical Fruit Punch will deliver.  The color looks to be somewhere between bright red and deep red which is a great color for your typical fruit punch.  I never really got behind Hawaiian Punch when they did all their flavors because the colors just seemed off to me.  Blue fruit punch?  That’s like when they tried (and maybe still sell) green ketchup.  You’re not here for my opinions on ketchup though; you’re here for my opinions on soda… and I thank you for that as a ketchup blog would be interesting, but probably short lived.  I wonder if there is a ketchup blog, I’m going to find out. **time passes** It’s not a blog per say, but someone from The Nibble reviewed (or described) 42 brands of ketchup.  I don’t normally link stuff, but this person deserves some mention for trying these ketchups.  What am I doing again?  Oh, yeah!  Hopefully I’m about to drink a delicious Tropical Fruit Punch from C&C.

A sharp citrus scent slowly makes its way out of the mouth of the bottle and gently singes my nose hairs.  I’m not exactly sure how strong or watery this is going to taste.  Of course I’m hoping that this fruit punch will be on the stronger side as we all want to relive that amazing punch that we first had at the Sadie Hawkins dance that no one ever invited us to ever because of no good reason.

Well that’s odd.  C&C Tropical Fruit Punch tastes a bit like bubble gum flavored amoxicillin.  You’ve probably had amoxicillin when you were a kid.  It’s a pink milky liquid that you had to drink whenever you had an infection.  When you’re a grown up it’s in pill form, but as a child you got the sweet gum flavored liquid poured down your throat at regular intervals.  While this could be an off putting flavor for many folks I personally enjoyed the taste of amoxicillin growing up and tasting something similar to it brought back a piece of my childhood.  While bubble gum amoxicillin is the base flavor for this beverage the taste that tries to chase it away and fails is that of fruit punch.  The only time I get to actually taste something that seems like fruit punch is in the middle of each sip when my throat is punched by the fruit of said action; and while I do somewhat enjoy the medicine flavor by no means should it be the opening and closing act of this soda play.  Could I finish this bottle?  Probably, but I don’t really care to since I opened this expecting fruit punch.  That doesn’t seem like too big of an expectation does it, for fruit punch to taste like fruit punch for more than 1/3 of the time.  Ah well, at least I my mind got to be transported back to when I was a child… sick with infections.

~A

This beverage supplied to us by C&C

Twist appears as an overgrown bacteria at his local playhouse.

C&C Mango

I’m happy to say that the next entry in the C&C collection is a flavor that rarely greets us in soda form, mango.  C&C Mango has a delightful orange (with a hint of pink) color and several slices of cartoon mango on the label.  Like the rest of the C&C collection it’s sweetened with HFCS and chock full of chemicals.  Oddly enough I have no amusing antidotes about mango, so I guess I’ll just be on my way.

A very rich and velvety mango scent welcomes my nose to its home.  It reminds me of cutting open a juicy mango and inhaling the delicious aroma it produces.  So far C&C Mango seems to be exceeding the expectations I have set for it.  Hopefully this trend continues in the taste portion.

Why aren’t there more mango flavored sodas?  C&C Mango’s flavor does not disappoint as it matches the rich and flavorful scent blow for blow.  While I wouldn’t quite equate it with drinking mango juice the powerful taste of mango permeates all possible spaces within my mouth.  Unfortunately the HFCS gums up the works a bit though as the syrupy coating sits in my mouth like a hot dog on a cool floor. 

The carbonation is fairly low which allows the mouth-feel of C&C Mango to be smooth and enjoyable; although I feel that the bubbles could be a bit more plentiful without losing this pleasant effect.  This smooth feeling ends when a brief quick of tart greets the back of your throat at your sips finale.  This kick lightens up the feel of the drink just enough to tease your mind with a different texture.  Another point in the case for more carbonation would be how heavily this sits in my stomach.  I believe that if it were a bit bubblier the weight in my stomach would be lifted to the point of not being noticed.  With all that said though C&C Mango is still a pleasant surprise that I would recommend to my fellow soda drinkers.

~A

This beverage supplied to us by C&C

Twist loves mangoes.  He was legally married to one for 17 years until she left him in a fit of rage.  It's a rather sensitive subject that we don't talk about much around here.

C&C Blue Raspberry

Frequent readers of this site know that my dislike of “blue” raspberry began in the mid-nineties when candy companies decided to add the flavor to their portfolios.  Sadly for all raspberry fans this artificial “blue” variation of the fruit they loved so much tasted nothing like the real thing.  With all that said the soda lined up for today is C&C Blue Raspberry.  I tell you about my dislike for the flavor beforehand so you might know that this review could be written with a bit of unintentional bias.  Let me also clarify that I don’t hate the flavor of blue raspberry; it just disappoints me to a level that shouldn’t exist for such a trivial matter.  Onward.

Pleasantly upon opening this bottle of C&C Blue Raspberry I was greeted with a very raspberry-esque aroma that will hopefully translate into a raspberry-esque flavor.  My hopes are slightly raised, but my mind is still doubtful on how much I will enjoy this.

Well the carbonation levels have started this review off on the right foot at least.  Very strong and punchy bubbles take my mind off of what the flavor on the side of the bottle reads.  The blue raspberry flavor doesn’t sadden me as much as I originally predicted.  Perhaps this is a case of me growing up a little bit?  Probably not.  Soap is a familiar flavor to me when it comes to testing blue raspberry concoctions.  Thankfully C&C Blue Raspberry has little to no hand soap aftertaste which pleases the palate.  Now here is where blue raspberries weakness shows through.  Raspberry as a fruit is more tart than sweet and blue raspberry decided to take that rule and turn it upside down.  This is probably why the candy companies hopped on the blue raspberry train so many years ago… well that and the fact they probably wanted to spruce up their candy colors at the same time.  This sweeter than tart taste sensation for whatever reason does not worth with my taste buds.  The whole ordeal seems out of order to me and I haven’t really found a flavor that duplicates the feeling.  With all that said this isn’t a bad soda, but it’s nothing special either.  With my bias included I still feel good about giving C&C Blue Raspberry the score I’m about to.

~A

This beverage supplied to us by C&C

And everything is blue for him and himself

C&C Lemon Up

Lemon/lime is an odd duck.  It is one of the most popular flavors of beverages, but at the same time rarely tastes radically different from “the other guy’s” lemon/lime.  People tend to demand excellence in their colas and root beers, but seem rather “meh” when it comes to looking for a lemon/lime that stands out.  Stand out lemon/lime beverages do exist, they’re just hard to come by.  While I’m pretty sure I know what camp C&C Lemon Up is going to fall into I’m going to do my best to stay as neutral as possible.  At the very least it will hopefully taste like 7up instead of Sprite.  That alone would be worth some points in my book.

The can houses a very faint citrus scent that upon further inspection seems very clean as well.  Only upon huffing the opening of the can do I begin to notice a slight citrus aroma.  I’m curious to see if the flavor is as light as the smell.

Well the flavor is lighter than your standard lemon/lime mash up and seems to have the mouth feel of a Sprite/7up hybrid.  The somewhat syrupy after taste of Sprite is present, but thankfully cut in half by the sharpness of 7up.  All in all this tastes like you would think it might if you saw it on a store shelf.  C&C Lemon Up tastes like a “store brand” soda with no real faults or strengths.  The somewhat watery nature of it keeps me from wanting to drink more than a can of it and explains to me where I think lemon/lime soda falls in the list of concerns for C&C.  It honestly feels like they created this just to have a lemon/lime soda since it seemed natural to have one with all the other flavors they have available.  So if you’re looking for something that tastes like something you can find in any gas station, grocery store, or dollar store then check out C&C Lemon Up.  You won’t be disappointed.

~A

This beverage supplied to us by C&C

Twist the plastic iguana has taken more chances in life than this lemon/lime soda

C&C Orange

Cutting right to the chase, today’s offering that’s up on the ice block is C&C Orange.  Ah, orange soda.  So simple.  So easily figured out.  So delicious.  There are rarely any twists and turns when dealing with orange.  Sure some might be fizzier, some might be fruitier, some might be tart…er, but the underlying flavor is always orange.  It’s a familiar taste that most anyone can gauge.  C&C Orange will hopefully be stacked within column “B” instead of column “A”.  “A” is for awful and “B” is for best, right?  That’s why you have all of column “B” and only some of column “A”.  I’d have to consult my VHS copy of Aladdin to double check, so I’ll just assume I’m correct and that I didn’t just make up an extra lyric to “Friend Like Me.”  I think that’s enough loose references for the first paragraph.  Let’s just drink, shall we?

From the smell of things I’d say C&C Orange is going to stab me in the mouth with orange flavor.  The scent is chock full of citrus which blasts my olfactory glands sending signals to my mouth that it’s about to enjoy a tasty orange treat.  I promise you this, olfactory glands.  If you so much as lie to me this time I’m going to cause you pain.  I’m going to inhale my cat rendering you useless for the next week.

OK, so I wasn’t stabbed in the mouth with orange flavor, but I wasn’t betrayed so much by my olfactory glands (the most you’ve seen this word typed in a non-medical article) that I feel it necessary to murder them.  The orange flavor that greeted me was about a 7 on the strength scale, but could be improved with a touch more carbonation.  The bubble level present is higher than what you would find in many other sodas, although I personally feel that a good orange soda needs almost a caustic feel on the back of my throat.  My reasoning for this is that if you don’t commit to the bite that an orange naturally gives you then the soda can taste like orange sugar water.  Thankfully C&C Orange’s fizz is strong enough to differentiate it from said sugar water; I just think it could be increased for the better.  The orange flavoring is fairly standard among orange sodas; there’s not really a “natural orange” taste, but it’s not so sweet that I would label it as candy in a bottle.  Overall I’m not wowed by C&C Orange, but at the very least I can say it’s comparable to Orange Crush.

~A

This beverage supplied to us by C&C

Orange you glad I didn't say banana confused me for 28 years until Twist explained it.

Jeff's Chocolate Soda

So our washing machine started leaking a little bit last week and it was time to put the old biddy down.  It wasn’t a serious leak as the drain pan easily contained all of the water, but we’d had trouble before with this machine and the repair gnomes wouldn’t touch it because of how poorly it was made.  Fast forward to today where the new fancy machine was delivered.  It was all shiny and great and I couldn’t wait to test it out.  After I put my clothes in it I stood back and looked through the glass top marveling at a washing machine doing its job.  Satisfied I step away to play some Minecraft.  Twenty minutes later I hear a noise that sounds like a lot of water hitting the floor.  I run in and find out that as amazing of a washing machine as it is it does no good if the owner of said washing machine doesn’t put the drain tube down the drain.  Long story short, always bring a towel… and maybe a bucket. 

This has nothing to do with Jeff’s Chocolate Soda, but I don’t have a diary or a journal so this occasionally becomes my place to vent.  I picked this beverage out of my fridge for two reasons.  Reason one is that chocolate soda has a decent chance of being fantastic if not diet.  Reason two is that this is the first bottle of soda I’ve seen that classifies itself as an “Egg Cream”.  Looking at the ingredients milk, cream, and cocoa are all indeed in this bottle potentially making this a fantastic tasting soda.  The label is comprised of various shades of brown making my mouth crave the taste of chocolate even more.  Time to follow the instructions on the label and “Get Creamed!”

Oh sweet heaven that smells amazing.  It smells like I just buried my face into a pile of hot cocoa powder Tony Montana style.  To paraphrase, this smells like paradise, I’m tellin’ ya.  This Jeff’s Chocolate Soda is like a great big refreshing soda just waiting to get drank.  Now that I’ve taken an incredibly vulgar line out of Scarface and made it into something that isn’t even an analogy anymore it’s probably time to drink.

Wonderful.  The chocolate taste is rich like syrup, but the fizz is strong enough to keep it bubbly and fun as it crosses my taste buds.  A smooth creaminess is ever present with each sip combining my love of chocolate with my constant want of a good soda.  If you’ve never mixed chocolate syrup with coke go do it right now and drink it as we enjoy similar tastes together.  This soda tastes nothing like that per say as it’s much heavier on the chocolate, but once you realize how good chocolate syrup and coke is together you can begin to figure out how delicious Jeff’s Chocolate Soda is. The “soda” portion of it has hints of cola, but honestly the soda flavor is so faint it’s almost there for texture alone which is fine.  Now I wouldn’t want to pair this with any particular food as it’s more of a dessert beverage that you’d have after a long day of battling a stupid amount of water from a stupid washing machine that’s stupid because the stupid me forgot to stupid. 

This is hands down the best chocolate soda I’ve ever had; there is no question in my mind at all about that. The only downside to it, and it’s a small one, is how heavy it sits in my stomach.  Yes, I’m aware that by looking at the ingredients for a split second I should expect that… it’s still worth telling you.  I don’t care though as Jeff’s Chocolate Soda just removed several of my issues for the day.  Want the best chocolate soda I’ve ever had, try Jeff’s.  Want a dang good soda, try Jeff’s Chocolate Soda.

~A

Twist is stunned in amazement.  Can't you tell?

C&C Draft Root Beer

It was inevitable that I would make it to a staple flavor of the C&C brand.  I’m not saying that Draft Root Beer is a staple flavor of theirs, but a staple flavor…of America.  Cola, root beer, and lemon lime are arguably the three main soda flavors that companies make.  They are a great (but not perfect) litmus test into what kind of quality you’re dealing with in a soda manufacturer.  Root beer has the most diversity of these three flavors followed by cola and then lemon lime.  So today’s review may very well be a summary of all C&C soda reviews.  Hopefully they take their root beer seriously, because I will.

While I’m not wowed by the generic root beer scent that came wafting out of the bottle I am at least now under the impression that the aroma is strong enough to warrant a decent taste.  Hopefully the smell is masking some sort of hidden awesomeness.

My first impression is that C&C Draft Root Beer is a fairly refreshing beverage.  The syrupy mouth feel found in many other root beer is absent, instead a delightfully light flavor (in comparison to other root beer) takes its place.  Carbonation is light to the point of almost not being discernible.  I don’t mind root beer having a little less carbonation than other sodas so that they can keep their smooth feel, but take away too much of the fizzy stuff and the soda my start to seem flat.  C&C Draft Root Beer is walking a very fine line between flat and “just fizzy enough”.  With that said I won’t be writing home about the flavor of this root beer unless of course my mother is reading this right now.  The flavor is very simplistic with very little character.  You could probably find a similar flavor in a store bought root beer kit.  So does this mirror what I’ve experienced with C&C sodas so far?  Yes, it really does.  While I haven’t made it through the 24 flavors sent to me I’ve already seen a theme amongst most of what I’ve tasted.  C&C Draft Root Beer, much like so many of their other flavors, is safe.  It’s Honda Civic of root beer.  I used to drive a Civic and enjoyed my time with it, but I was always looking for something with a bit more character.  Now Honda makes a few models that will turn some heads just like C&C makes a few flavors that make me want to buy multiples, but overall it’s safe and safe can be boring if it’s not handled just right.

~A

This beverage supplied to us by C&C

So safe that Twist keeps his money in it

C&C Watermelon

Short history of my opinion of watermelon… I hate it.  On the flipside of the previous statement I tend to like watermelon flavored things.  It’ll be interesting to see which column today’s soda falls.  Oh, by the way, today’s soda is C&C Watermelon.   That was kind of like the hit TV series Flash Forward wasn’t it?  You saw the thoughts that should have come after the soda reveal BEFORE the soda reveal and yes I know that Flash Forward was not a hit TV series.  Aerosmith would do well to mention C&C Watermelon in their radio hit “Pink” as the label, soda, and label again are all varying shades of half of the color of watermelon.  The label even has cute, I guess fruit can be cute, little watermelons on it that make me want to drink this just a bit more.  Onward!

A watermelon/grapefruit smell punches me in the nose as soon as I twist the cap.  Thankfully watermelon is the clearly dominate scent as the grapefruit seems to just be there for a little filler.  Hopefully the flavor will mirror the aroma.

C&C Watermelon is much fizzier than I expected as the bubbles seem to run with razor blades down my throat.  This is a good thing even though it sounds horribly painful.  Just like the scent the watermelon flavor takes charge as his tiny buddy grapefruit holds on for dear life just hoping to not get noticed.  If you’ve ever had a watermelon Jolly Rancher then you’ll be familiar with the taste of C&C Watermelon.  While the sweetness level isn’t quite that of hard candy it’s still plenty sugary and very enjoyable.  Each sip I take begins with a quick burst of what I would consider a fairly authentic watermelon taste which thankfully (in my opinion) is covered up by the safer candy flavor previously mentioned.    I have to give credit to C&C for even trying this flavor.  So many companies could be making watermelon soda, but don’t because it’s too high risk.  C&C, with their myriad of flavors, thankfully decided to include watermelon in their arsenal.  This soda is different enough, bubbly enough, sweet enough, and tasty enough for me to recommend you give it a try.  Of course if you don’t like any kind of watermelon then you may want to sit this one out, but if you’re a fan of the fruit or the candy fruit then I definitely think it’s worth a shot. 

~A

This beverage supplied to us by C&C.

Although you wouldn't think it, Twist hates any pink and green color combo.  He's more of a blue and white kinda guy.

C&C Red Pop

As I continue down this road filled with C&C reviews (occasionally taking a detour or two) I stumble upon a flavor I don’t remember cataloging when I took all of the C&C pictures for the site.  C&C Red Pop is what I’ll be drinking today and I haven’t the foggiest idea of what “red pop” tastes like.  The picture on the bottle seems to resemble a red raspberry, but if that were the flavor then I assume it would say so on the bottle.  The only “flavor” listed in the ingredients is an “artificial flavor” which should be expected when your labeled flavor isn’t something you’d find growing on any tree.  I also see that my refrigerator is set fairly cold as there are bits of frozen red pop floating at the surface of this beverage.  In the “What?  No?  Really?” category the beverage itself is a bright red much like red Kool-Aid.  Ok C&C Red Pop, you’ve piqued my interest and now I shall drink you.  Onward.

C&C Red Pop smells like liquefied red and purple Skittles.  My excitement is climbing as the last beverage I had that resembled Skittles in any way was Sprite Tropical Remix (you know… the good Sprite.  Burn.) and I love, love, loved S.T.R.  I don’t think that C&C Red Pop will taste anything like S.T.R., but the fact that it has one thing in common with it pleases me. 

Sigh.  Sorry, the flavor isn’t bad it just didn’t live up to what my mind wanted it to be. C&C Red Pop has the flavor of a weakened Cherry Icee.  I wonder if I could get any cash under the table for mentioning three large brands in this review.  The Kool-Aid/Skittles/Icee people should just be throwing money at me at this point.  With that said I believe this could be an outstanding beverage if the flavor was just a bit more pungent.  Thankfully the cherry flavoring is somewhat enhanced by the carbonation.  It’s just the right amount of fizz so that I can feel it throughout the entire drinking process.  All aspects of my mouth cheer as they are greeted by the enjoyable bubbles that carry C&C Red Pop from “meh” to “pretty tasty”.  The sweetness factor really surprised me as it’s not nearly as sugary as I supposed it would be.  I was looking for a tasty red syrupy mess of sucrose when I first smelled it, but overall it seems to find a pretty good balance with the other aspects of the soda.  In my time writing this paragraph I think my feelings for C&C Red Pop have grown.  I was just going to tell you to buy a bottle, but at the last minute I feel it snuck to gain a bit better rating.  Try it and see if you agree.

~A

This beverage supplied to us by C&C.

Twist was once called the Duke of Pop

C&C Champagne Cola

I reached into the fridge today and pulled out a flavor of soda I’ve had so many times, but that doesn’t seem to matter since I can never pin point the flavor.  C&C Champagne Cola is at hand and once again I’ll assume it’s going to taste like cream soda.  I’m not sure why that’s my first assumption; it could taste orange for all I know.  No matter how many times I drink it I end up forgetting what it tastes like before I drink it again.  Even the label art isn’t all that helpful.  I’m given what looks like a cross between snowflakes and hashtags on a yellow background.  Good think I’m a soda expert.  I have ways of figuring out what this tastes like that few others have even considered.  Onward!

The scent is that of a cola/cream soda hybrid.  Perhaps this is the flavor I’ll soon be partaking in.  Honestly I hope this tastes like grasshoppers or something completely off the path on which I’m being lead.  That would just make it all the more fun.

Bubble gum, cream soda, and GRASSHOPPERS… I mean cola.  The majority flavor in C&C Champagne Cola is certainly bubble gum followed somewhat distantly by cream soda and bringing up the reariest of rears is the cola.  If you assumed that the combination of those three flavors would give you a super sugary soda that sticks to every part of your mouth with ferocity you are correct.  The syrup takes residence in your yapper and refuses to leave for even the best of friends.  Bubble gum flavoring creeps its way onto your lips so that you have no possible way of escaping the sugary nonsense that you just imbibed.  While the flavor isn’t awful this beverage is just far too sweet for me to drink any more.  Of course I could power through it and spend the next few hours wishing I hadn’t, but I think you’ve got the idea of what C&C Champagne Cola tastes like.  Ok, ok, I’ll tell you about the carbonation.  Bubbles frolic by the thousands only to be masked by the heavy syrupy curtain that is everything else.  I’m sure I’d be breaking some champagne cola rule by decreasing the sugar and increasing the fizzy mouth feel, but I honestly think that would help quite a bit.  Ah well, I’ll forget what this tasted like before my next adventure into champagne cola.

~A

This beverage supplied to us by C&C

Twist prefers the High Life.

C&C Red Candy Apple

Welcome to 2013!  It’s a new year so that means it’s time to review new sodas.  Of course that’s the philosophy that I live by every day.  Why wait for a new year to review new sodas?  Why not review new sodas every time you get a chance to?  So you see the hidden mantra of The Soda Jerks is a simple one.  Live every day like it’s your last day to review sodas.  With that said I’ve gone back to a familiar brand of soda and an unfamiliar flavor.  The brand is C&C of which we’ve reviewed several with several to go.  The flavor is Red Candy Apple and while I’m familiar with all three of those words I’ve never had the triple combo in soda form.  The label art is pleasing to my eyes as all the shades of red, mostly pinks, prepare my mind for the taste I’m about to consume.  A picture of three candy apples also entices my brain into wanting to try this soda even more.  Onward, I say.  Onward.

The scent does remind me a bit of apples, but the “candy” essence isn’t found as easily.  I was hoping for a very sweet apple aroma.  It seems I’ll have to wait and see if the taste of C&C Red Candy Apple will reveal a sugary treat.  Enough waiting.

I didn’t get the sugary flavor the coating of a red candy apple would normally deliver, but it seems I did get a decent apple soda.  Flavored much like a red delicious apple, C&C Red Candy Apple soda is immediately refreshing and lightly carbonated.  With each sip I take a slight harshness begins to build in my throat; it’s not unwelcome as it adds to the overall mouth feel of the soda.  For being sweetened with HFCS there isn’t much of a syrupy essence at all.  Overall C&C Red Candy Apple is pleasing in most aspects.  I would hear the argument that it tastes a bit watery at times, but I think watery works (to a point) in apple sodas.  Over flavoring an apple soda may give you a powerfully delicious concoction while removing its ability to be light and fruity, two very important characteristics of apples.  C&C Red Candy Apple doesn’t really deliver on its name and for that I’ll have to deduct points.  Don’t finish this reviewing thinking it’s not good though, it’s just mislabeled. 

~A

This beverage supplied to us by C&C

Twist was candied once... ONCE!

Grandpa Lundquist Christmas Soda

So who’s ready for the New Year?  Who’s ready to let go of 2012 and move on to 2013 with new goals in mind?  What’s that you say “Guy who had the best 2012 ever”?  You’re not ready to let go just quite yet?  Well what if I told you I could give you an extra week?  What if you could drink a soda and get exactly one week back?  You can’t, but I am going to review this Grandpa Lunquist Christmas Soda a week late regardless.   Who knows, maybe it’ll remind you so much of the last week it’ll feel like you hopped in the DeLorean/TARDIS/Phone Booth and took a trip 7 days backwards.  This particular soda is sweetened with cane sugar and caffeine free, yay for that.  It also has natural hops and malt in its list of ingredients, boo to that.  In case you’re unfamiliar with Christmas soda this bottle has a brief history lesson on it.

During Jul (pronounced “yule” – Swedish for Christmas), children and adults alike enjoy Julmust, a unique, sweet and flavorful winter soft drink.

Created in 1920, Julmust was quickly embraced and continues to be a part of Swedish culture to this day.

Start your own tradition by serving ice cold Grandpa Lunquist Christmas Soda at all your holiday gatherings and winter events.

So there you have it.  I guess a review qualifies as a winter event so I guess I should get cracking.  Onward!

The last Christmas soda reviewed on this site was done by Mike and if I remember correctly he hated it.  Upon opening this bottle I have to admit I’m a little sad that it didn’t fill the room with a pine aroma.  Instead my nose searched out a citrus/cola scent that holds licorice tones as well.  Honestly I have no idea what this smells like, but my brain is still trying to piece together similar scent in hopes of an accurate description.  It doesn’t smell gross, so there’s that.

While I expected to hate a hops/barely beverage I don’t hate this.  Grandpa Lunquist Christmas Soda has a noticeable flavor similarity to green cough syrup, but the flavor isn’t so bold as to keep you from taking another sip.  Much like many holiday treats this beverage has a tummy warming characteristic as well.  I wouldn’t liken it to whisky or anything like that, but it does warm unlike most sodas.  After the cough syrup taste has subsided I was greeted with a flat cola flavor that just sort of sits on the back of my tongue.  Oddly enough this is considerably more refreshing than I ever would have predicted it to be.  Would I open the fridge after a long run only to pull out a Grandpa Lunquist Christmas Soda?  No.  Would I enjoy this with some popcorn or salty salty chips?  Yes, yes I would.  You’d think that when my main two descriptors of a soda are “cough syrup” and “flat cola” that I would give it a scathing review.  Maybe it’s the Christmas magic jammed into this bottle, but I don’t hate this soda.  I wouldn’t put it on the syllabus as required drinking, but if you see a bottle pick it up.

~A

Merry Twistmas!

Capone Family Secret Root Beer

It’s a chilly day outside here in Texas with a high of 59.  I’d be interested to see how many of our readers are scoffing at me right now.  Scoff all you like as a chilly day brings out my taste for root beer.  So if I didn’t think it was chilly you probably wouldn’t be getting a review right now… about root beer.  Ah well.  Today’s bottle on the chopping block is Capone Family Secret Root Beer.  For those of you not in the know, Al Capone was a gangster during prohibition that did a host of illegal things one of which was running booze.  The story I’m going to give to Capone Family Secret Root Beer is this.  Of course Al Capone needed to smuggle his booze in a container of some sort and before he got smart about it he just put them in root beer bottles instead.  Yes, I know that’s the equivalent of putting them in a bottle labeled “Not Beer I Swear”, but it’s the story I’m going with. 

Wait… I just found that the bottle has a story as well.  Let’s compare shall we?

“During the 1920’s Capone’s warehouses were raided by the police 137 time, eager to seize their inventory of illegal alcohol.  There were only a few items found on every single raid and it was not alcohol.  It was cases of the “Capone Family Secret” Soda.  After 80+ years the “Secret” Soda was finally made public, so families can enjoy great sodas, while experiencing a piece of history.”

So there you have it, a more complete tale to go with the soda at hand.  Apparently these are the ingredients of the “Secret” Soda:  Carbonated Water, Sugar Caramel Color, Sodium Benzoate (Preservative), Natural Flavor, and Citric Acid.  That sounds like something that would be in a 20’s soda to me… I’m sold.  I was wavering at Sugar, but once I saw that Sodium Benzoate was in there I knew this was a legit Capone family recipe.  Kidding aside, I’ve written way to much without drinking anything.  Onward!

This smells to be a rather rooty root beer.  A stronger than usual licorice scent smacked me the nostrils only to be followed up by what seems to be a rather noticeable vanilla aroma as well.  Well I’m leaning back towards impressed now that I’ve gotten a whiff.  Drinking time!

That is some of the most carbonated root beer I’ve ever tasted.  It attacked my mouth with a flurry of tiny bubbles all trying to break the legs of my taste buds.  With that said the high amount of carbonation creates a very foamy head that gives Capone Family Secret Root Beer a light and airy feel the likes of which I have never experienced before.  I’ll be interested to see if this particular mouth feel lasts the entire bottle.    Now the flavor is quite unique as well.  Even though some of Capone’s ingredients are a little suspect the taste is wonderful.  There’s an immediate burst of vanilla that lingers though each sip to the last possible moment.  As the vanilla taste begins its transformation into memory a familiar root beer flavor takes over.  Immediately my mind goes to Al Capone sending two of his guys out to take care of some “business”.  Sure he could have just sent Vinny Vanilla out to do the job, but he told Roddy Root to go with him and make sure it got done right.  The result is my tongue experiencing a one, two punch of vanilla and root beer that makes me wish it had ticked off the Capone family even more.  Now that I’m done with the bottle I can tell you that the foamy light mouth feel does decrease some, but lasts long enough that I can safely say it’s one of the most unique root beer sensations I’ve ever had.  The differences in mouth feel and flavor make it almost seem like I’m drinking two completely different delicious root beers and for that the Capone Family should be rewarded.

~A

Faux Fact:  Al Capone's pet of choice was an iguana named Twist.  Coincidence?