Jack Black's Orange Stash

I always appreciate an orange soda that uses cane sugar and orange juice (concentrate most times).  I really appreciate it when the picture on the bottle uses a pirate theme and calls it an “Orange Stash”.  In case you’re the type not to read the title of these reviews, today’s article is on Jack Black’s Orange Stash.  If I’m to believe everything I read on this label, this is only the second time this particular flavor has been available.  I’m hoping that the fact it’s an orange “stash” and not an orange soda gives me a unique beverage to try, but something tells me I may be disappointed.  Let’s find out together… as a family.

Comedy abounds in the world of Jack Black sodas.  Under the bottle cap reads the following:  “Once you have Jack Black you won’t switch back”.  JOKES.  With that said the orange scent I was expecting to come off the top of the bottle isn’t there.  If I take a strong whiff I can begin to identify the scent as orange.  Hopefully the flavor won’t be as hard to find.

The orange in Jack Black’s Orange Stash isn’t as intense as I’d like it to be, but with that said it’s a tasty treat for my tongue.  It’s not as sugary to me as your standard orange soda and this allows for the orange flavor to be enjoyed for a longer period of time.  The carbonation isn’t overly strong either which once again accentuates the star of the show, Orange.  Even though I just stated the carbonation level isn’t that high it does still have an aspect of fun to it.  It’s a light fizzy sensation that runs quickly from here to there in my mouth.  All in all Jack Black’s Orange Stash is a pretty good beverage.  The orange flavoring, while not a perfect replica, is more natural tasting than your standard orange soda.  I’m sad to say, but the downside to this soda is that it’s kind of boring.  Sure it’s a tasty beverage, but there’s not much about it that will make me want to recall it if I’m ever asked for an orange soda recommendation.  If given the option I’d drink multiple bottles of this, but I wouldn’t really cry if I ran out.

~A

Twist is the Dread Pirate Roberts

Dry Vanilla Bean Soda

The last time I reviewed a Dry brand soda I wrote the following thoughts.

When I drink Dry Soda I almost feel like my palette isn’t complex enough to fully comprehend it, and then I see them suggest quail as a pairing… and I sigh.  Dry Soda Juniper Berry, and Dry Soda as a whole it seems, is not for someone who thinks they love soda.  Juniper Berry, much like lavender, is so complex it’s intimidating.

You see how confused I was to the intricacies of the flavor?  I’ve passed numerous flavors of Dry in the super market/grocery store/foodery and every time I don’t feel as if I’m ready.  That quote is from a review three years ago.  Three years have passed with me fearing that my pallet was too immature.  My main supplier that is not a company, Dustin, didn’t realize I had this fear… or if he did felt it was time I conquered it.  So sitting in front me is Dry Vanilla Bean Soda.  It’s snazzy looking with it’s clear on clear appearance and simplistically modern logo.  On the back I see that it has four ingredients: purified carbonated water, cane sugar, natural extracts, and phosphoric acid.  I find it amusing that it doesn’t say that the extracts are from; I would hope they’re from vanilla beans or something that would make sense. 

Just for fun, and to psyche myself out, I looked up what I should pair this with.  Apparently roast chicken, summer salads, white fish, fresh fruit, and panna cotta are what is recommended.  I have no idea what panna cotta is, but the internet assures me it’s a dessert of some sort.  Well I don’t have any of those in front of me, but I did have sushi for the first time about 2 hours ago.  That’s good enough, right?

Upon opening the bottle I’m pleased to say that I actually get a hint of delicious vanilla.  It holds a very sweet flavor in its aroma, but I know Dry Sodas are known for their subtlety, so I know this may be some sort of trick.  Let’s find out together, shall we?

Almost instantly the first taste that hits my lips is that of club soda.  My brain panics and starts to have flashbacks of soda review confusion.  Before my brain can begin hyperventilating a new sensation reaches my taste buds.  The cool vanilla bean strides into town, noticed, but not making any noise.  The closer he gets the more I appreciate his being there.  As the drink finds its way to my stomach the cool vanilla bean vanishes as well, only to repeat his calm stroll when I put the bottle back up to my mouth.  Each sip is exactly like the last as Dry Vanilla Bean Soda does not build upon itself.  It’s clean, it’s quick, and it’s quite refreshing.  Perhaps where I went wrong with Dry in the past was trying to enjoy flavors like Lavender and Juniper Berry when I hadn’t even attempted a more normal Vanilla Bean. 

With that said, I’m not thrilled with Dry Vanilla Bean, but at least I feel like I can understand what it’s trying to do.  I don’t really like the initial club soda taste and the kid inside of me yearns for a stronger vanilla flavor.  Dry Vanilla Bean soda makes me want a full on sugary cream soda and that’s not because Dry Vanilla Bean is bad, but because it’s not my preference. 

So here we are at the end of the review.  The score will be exactly the same as the previous two Dry entries, but I feel my fear of understanding this soda has been conquered.  Thank you, Dry.  I’ll take that part of my life back now!

~A

Um, don't cry, dry your eye And here comes Twist with a bag of french fries.

Rocket Fizz Watermelon

Ok, so remember that entire week where I didn’t post a single review?  Forget it.  This week is a new week and at the very least you’re going to get a review about a watermelon flavored soda by Rocket Fizz.  As we all know (and if you don’t just fake it) Rocket Fizz is the soda that features fun flavors and is sweetened by cane sugar.  Another globally known fact is that I don’t like watermelon, but usually enjoy watermelon flavored items.  I’m not really sure how this concept works in the real world, but it does.  In case you forgot due to lack of reviews, here’s the part where I tell you it’s time to open this bottle and get to drinking.

If the pink coloring of the soda wasn’t enough to show me it’s supposed to taste like watermelon, the aroma certainly did.  Since I don’t particularly like the taste of watermelon, this beverage smells kind of gross to me.  Again, I’m not exactly sure why I tend to enjoy watermelon-esque things, especially when their scents are often off-putting.  Perhaps there is some kind of magic at work here.  Here’s to watermagicon!

Nope.  I’m not fond of this.  The taste is somewhat accurate as my memory reaches back as far as it can to pull up the file labeled “watermelon taste”.  Best I can tell though, this tastes more like a candy watermelon than the actual fruit.  So technically it’s a watermelon flavored soda that tastes like a watermelon flavored candy that tastes like watermelon.  I’m thinking my brain is just outright rejecting this idea entirely.  Each sip I take begins with a hopeful thought which is quickly run over by an overly sweet, syrupy, watermelon wave.  The carbonation can’t even save it as my brain can’t concentrate on the bubbles due to the disgusting flavor.  I’m going to stop the review here.  It’s a little premature, but you don’t need to listen to me berate a beverage because it’s based on a flavor I normally don’t like.  I don’t like watermelon and this soda tastes enough like it that I don’t like the soda.  If you like watermelon (a word I’ve now typed a ridiculous number of times) then maybe you’ll like Rocket Fizz Watermelon, or maybe you’ll think it’s too sweet… because it is.

~A

Twist is just happy it's not the devil's fruit known as cantaloupe

PJ's Crystal Beach Sparkling Loganberry

Anyone out there have any sort of idea of what a loganberry is?  I certainly don’t.  Thirstmonger sent me a bottle, of what looks to be a delicious, loganberry soda.  I didn’t really feel like doing any research on what loganberries are, thankfully the label sensed this and told me.  Apparently the loganberry was discovered in the 1880’s and is a cross between a red raspberry and a blackberry.  Zero things sound bad about that, so obviously I’m excited about trying this sugar sweetened beverage.  As an added bonus this bottle of (I guess including the name would be helpful) PJ’s Crystal Beach Sparkling Loganberry soda has a decent amount of Vitamin A, B6, B12, and E.  A quick glance over the ingredients also teaches me that actual loganberry juice is used in the making of this beverage as well.  Well color me intrigued.

The red raspberry is the dominating scent, although you can tell its sweetness is muted a little bit by the blackberry.  Frankly, Crystal Beach Sparkling Loganberry smells delightful and reminds me of a tasty sno-cone/snow cone/sno ball/shaved ice.

Crystal Beach Sparkling Loganberry is so effervescent that it’s still fizzing in the back of my throat and I love it.  The flavor isn’t quite as tart as I thought it would be.  Sweet seems to be the defining characteristic of the loganberry.  Granted this is a loganberry with 42 grams of sugar in it so I’m sure the taste is altered just a bit.  All the same, the fruity taste of red raspberry with hints of grape and blackberry has coated my mouth in an enjoyable curtain of flavor.  Remember when I said it smelled like a sno-cone?  I really hope you do because even the slowest readers should have read that sentence two minutes ago at most.  Crystal Beach Sparkling Loganberry tastes like sno-cone soda.  It’s like they took the juice at the bottom of a sno-cone and carbonated it to a fun level.  Like I said, this is quite the sweet soda so it may not be for everyone.  I would place this soda in the “treat” category instead of the “enjoy with food” category. 

Now of course there is some critique that must be present with the praise.  In the case of Crystal Beach Sparkling Loganberry we’ve already touched on one potential negative for some of you, the sweetness.  I won’t be addressing that any further.  The other issue I have is that the taste is a bit muddled.  “A loganberry is a muddle red raspberry and blackberry” you say?  Why yes it is, but this flavor does not seem to be made by nature.  A berry is crisp and tart which is what Crystal Beach Sparkling Loganberry is missing.  If this beverage were tart in the slightest I’d drink it until I died, but instead of being perfect it’s merely tasty.  See, it’s not that bad of a problem.  It just kept it from being outstanding.

All in all, Crystal Beach Sparkling Loganberry is a very fun soda to drink.  The variety in the fruit flavor, the insane carbonation, and the delicious coating it leaves in your mouth are all things you should be looking forward to if you try it.

~A

Twist prefers the more intense Wolverineberry

Barton Springs Soda Company - Orange Cream Soda

I’m always pleased when my great state produces delicious products and even happier when those products happen to be soda.  Today I’m giving the city of Austin a chance with their Barton Springs Soda Company – Orange Cream Soda.  The label is simple, but nice to look at.  In fact it almost looks like they made it at home.  The color of the soda is a natural looking orange; not to be confused with the ridiculous orange color that sodas like this normally are.  If you end up wanting to make some Barton Springs Orange Soda for yourself at home here’s all you need:  carbonated water, sugar, natural flavors, citric acid, and a bunch of Benzosorbosucra-lates.  Ok, so the last ingredient is really an amalgamation of words listed.  Still, this is from Texas and I’m excited to see what my home has produced.

Even though “Orange Cream Soda” is listed as the flavor, the scent that reaches my nose is that of tangerine sans cream.  I’m really quite curious how creamy this beverage will actually be.  I suppose I could taste it.

Fortunately for all involved in this process the flavor is indeed orange and the creaminess does exist within the same realm of reality.  With my first sip a burst of orange flavor cascades along my tongue, waking up every taste-bud it rushes over.  The citrus taste seems stronger due to the carbonation involved, but is unmistakable nonetheless.  Now the cream that is promised on the label comes late to the game.  After the citrus rush begins to subside an almost artificial creaminess takes its place.  I won’t say that it tastes bad, but there’s something a little off about it.  In fact the beverage seems to weaken a bit with each sip I take.  The sugary sweetness of Barton Springs Orange Cream Soda begins to take over and ruin the party for both the orange flavoring and the cream finish.  The orange flavoring begins to be shoved in a corner behind big brother Sweetness, while the decent job Cream was performing has turned into an over the top mess.  Frighteningly enough, I’m only halfway through with the bottle before the sugar invasion began.  Sadly I’m going to surrender and stop drinking at this point.  Someone with a sweeter tooth than mine might enjoy this, but I’m out.

~A

The fact that the soda is orange and from Austin has Twist suspicious

Hiball Organic Energy Drink - Pomegranate Acai

While I’m sure I’ve had an organic energy drink, I honestly can’t remember the name of it.  If only there were drink review site that had a search function!  Hiball Organic Energy Drink – Pomegranate Acia sits in front of me in a rather classy looking can.  The Hiball logo is crisp and simple, making it a pleasure to look at.  If I examine this container a bit closer I see that Hiball Pomegranate Acai uses both organic caffeine and organic sugar in the creation of this beverage.  Just to add to this greatness is the fact that the organic sugar used is Fair Trade Certified.  Since it’s an energy drink Hiball Pomegranate Acai is also chock full of B Vitamins, and other ingredients like Guarana Extract, Ginseng Extract, and others.  Truthfully, my mind is a little perplexed in trying to figure out what this will taste like.  Will it be a fruity sensation or will the energy drink side take over like Mr. Hyde?  Let’s see if I can’t sniff this out.

The can opens without a lot of push, which makes me think the carbonation won’t be that strong.  An aroma of various berries, also known as berrious, makes its way to the opening of the can.  My knowledge is lacking when it comes to identifying pomegranate and acai, so I’m hesitant to tell you that this is what it smells like.  Perhaps a taste test in in order.

My initial reaction to Hiball Pomegranate Acai isn’t a positive one.  Each act in this play seems to be marred by the kid sitting behind me named “Bitter Billy”.  I take a sip and see the first act upon the stage.  A cool refreshing sensation skips across the stage and starts its monologue.  Bitter Billy flicks my ear and giggles.  Pomegranate and Acai walk out in what looks to be a pretty good ventriloquist act, but I can’t concentrate on it because Bitter Billy has started kicking my seat as hard as he can.  The final act shows all of the characters on stage for a rousing final number, I think I even see carbonation dressed as a tiny clown.  It doesn’t matter though because Bitter Billy has taken a lighter to my hair and I’m missing it all.  Hidden behind each outburst of Bitter Billy looks to be a fairly enjoyable energy drink, but I cannot see past this poorly behaved child.  I could finish this beverage if I wanted to, but I don’t.  Even if the crowd starts chanting for an encore I don’t care to be anywhere near that kid anymore.  All the organic ingredients, all of the B Vitamins, all of the class the label shows can’t compete with this one taste factor.  Sad really.

~A

Twist's sugar is always organic.

Sprecher Puma Kola

Anytime I see a bottle of Sprecher in my fridge I know that at some point in my life I made a good decision.  Sprecher never disappoints even when I don’t particularly like the flavor.  Every product I’ve had of their reeks of trying to make a great soda, so I can tell you I’m very excited to review Sprecher Puma Kola.  Adorning the label is an adorable black puma that seems to be guarding kola nuts and cinnamon.  I don’t see either of these items in the ingredients, unless it falls under “natural flavors, but I’m not concerned as the Sprecher track record is a good one.  There are a range of sweeteners in Puma Kola, from glucose syrup to raw honey.  Honestly I’m just ready to crack open the bottle.

The powerful scent of cola punches me square in the nose.  This is a good start to what is hopefully a top notch beverage.  After the initial sock to the olfactory glands the aroma seems content to just occasionally poke at me.  Let’s “poke back” shall we.  By “poke back” I meant drink, but the analogy didn’t work… move on, nothing to see here.

 What amazes me is the lasting power of the cola taste that the very first sip of Puma Kola has left me with.  The flavor is one of the richest cola tastes I’ve had in a soda and it has me wanting more within seconds of finishing a gulp.  The carbonation level is lower than most cola.  It seems that before it was put into the bottle someone yelled at it and told it to stay out of the way of the general drinking experience.  Carbonation being stubborn mostly listened to them, but still shows you it’s part of the show.  While the kola nut and cinnamon are not officially listed in the ingredients, I’m definitely getting tastes that remind me of each.  The kola nut is the stronger willed of the two tastes while the cinnamon acts as the trees.  Melded with these two flavors is a creaminess that I don’t find that often in cola.  It’s not so creamy that I’d call it a cream soda of any sorts; it’s just different and gives a wonderfully relaxing mouth-feel to the soda.  The only negative I can see in Puma Kola is that the flavor might be a bit rich for some, perhaps a little too sweet as a sugary sensation holds on to all parts of my mouth as I review.

As I reach the end of each sip there is a slight burn that presides when the all of the tastes, carbonation, mouth-feel, and creaminess of Puma Kola join as one.  I liken it to the feeling you get when the favorite character in a play comes out and bows as the crowds cheering grows in comparison to what the other actors on stage had received.  You weren’t able to show your adulation throughout the performance, but now it’s ok to let loose and really show them how you feel.  That is the last few seconds of Puma Kola before it vanishes down my gullet.   Bravo!

~A

Even Twist is in awwwww of the adorable puma

A-Game Citrus

This week’s beverage from Thirstmonger describes itself as a “Cross Functional Beverage” that will help you with rehydration, energy, and nutrition.  A-Game Citrus is what sits in the bottle to my right and judging by that last sentence it’s a sports drink that would like to differentiate itself from the other sports drinks you might find on the shelf at your local grocer.  It immediately gains points from me because of its name, A-Game.  My name as you know is Aaron, so anything that starts with an A and is followed by a hyphen and another word is always a potential nickname for me.  The A-Train is one of my favorite fake nicknames.  In this case any time I’m picked for a sports team, or beat someone at chess I can hit my chest twice and declare “I always bring my A-Game!”  Now I might lose friends in the process, but at least I sound cool. 

The second reason I’m initially impressed with A-Game citrus is that it contains sea salt and honey.  Now I’m not really sure what the difference is between salt and sea salt, but man does sea salt sound so much tastier.  Honestly, it’s the honey that impressed me as you don’t see many drinks use it as a sweetener.  Checking the ingredients I also see that Crystalline Fructose and Dextrose are also used for sweetening, so it’s not like honey is all that’s in the bottle.  Vitamins A through E are all represented in some way so that’s got to count for something, right? 

So the ingredient list is respectable and it’s got a name I can get behind.  So far A-Game Citrus is really making some headway and I haven’t even opened the bottle.  Speaking of opening the bottle, perhaps I should open the bottle after shaking well.

The aroma that sits right at the mouth of the bottle is certainly citrus scented.  Orange Tang is what I’m reminded of each time I inhale and I’d be perfectly ok if it tasted like that, but would that really be an example of them bringing their A-Game?  No, no it wouldn’t.  That would be an example of them bringing Orange Tang.  Taste time.

Ok, so while it’s not full of flavor, the orange flavor that is there is quite tasty.  You’re not going to find a good sports drink that shoves flavor down your throat, that’s not their motivation.  If you had sports drinks that tasted like Dr Pepper you wouldn’t be able to drink them as quickly.  These are made to be slammed, not sipped.  With all of that said we now come to the part of the review where I remind you that I don’t care that this is a sports drink.  I care if it tastes good as a beverage.  With that said it’s time to start the proper review.

The orange flavor is very noticeable to the point where I’m not sure why they have labeled this citrus.  If I allow my tongue a few more moments to take in what it just experienced it can pick out a bit of lemon as well which renders the previous sentence as foolish.  Of course there is no carbonation, but I figured I’d throw that in there just in case you got confused.  The sweetness level of A-Game Citrus is just right.  It doesn’t taste like I’m drinking a soda, but it still feels like a treat of sorts.  The negatives are few, but still need to be mentioned.  After each sip there is a slight coating of A-Game Citrus that remains in my mouth.  Now the aftertaste it leaves isn’t a negative one.  In fact it resembles the actual flavor of the beverage like you would think all aftertastes would.  Think of it this way.  Even though you like your best friend; if they lived with you, you would still want some “me time”.  My taste buds just want some “me time” after each sip.  That’s all.  While the Citrus (Orange/Lemon) flavor is tasty, it’s not delicious.  Again, I’m aware this is a sports drink, but I’m still looking for delicious.  That’s it, there’s nothing else.  See how painless that was?

Ultimately folks are going to want a comparison to the major players when it comes to a beverage like this.  When compared to lemon/lime Gatorade I have to say (well I don’t have to, but I am) that I prefer A-Game Citrus.  Now remember that I do very little physical activity so my experience with sports drinks is limited, so take that into consideration as well.  A-Game Citrus is a tasty beverage that I will continue to buy if I’m ever in need of being rehydrated.

~A

Twist was overly happy with how well it matched the new thrown together background

Elixir Floral Infusions – Lavender

So another review courtesy of ThirstMonger is in front of your face.  Today’s soda needs a little bit of assembly as it’s a mixer of sorts.  Elixir Floral Infusions Lavender is what I’ll be mixing with some cool carbonated water today.  When you visit their site it seems Elixir is primarily made for mixing with alcoholic beverages.  Since I’m not one to imbibe I’ll be using their “soda” recipe and reviewing that.  Before I go into creation mode I would like to note that Elixir is all-natural, made with purified water, cane sugar, natural lavender extract, natural food color, organic blueberry extract, citric acid, and cultured sugar.  That’s quite the impressive ingredient list in terms of quality.  My hopes have risen just a bit.  Now to the recipe for soda. 

Underneath the picture of a lightly purple drink I’m told that to make soda I need an 8 to 1 ratio of carbonated water and Elixir.  Already I’m looking at this picture and thinking that it won’t be strong enough for me to truly enjoy.  That soda looks waaay to fancy for my liking, so here’s what I’m going to do.  I’m going to take the chance and use my own math to make a better Elixir experience for myself… hopefully.  My Elixir Lavender will have a 4 to 1 ratio, thus allowing me to truly taste the lavender goodness.  Thankfully I have a Sodastream so that I can use my very own water in this experimental version of lavender soda.  Here goes something!

What I’ve created looks a lot like grape/purple Kool-Aid.  I’m sure it won’t taste of Kool-Aid, but that’s fine as I’m not interested in that particular sugar water at this point in time.  I’m interested in this new and “improved” Elixir Lavender.  On to the smell test!

Only when I press my nose up to it do I smell, amazingly enough, the sweet aroma of lavender.   I figured it would have a rather pungent scent since I’ve doubled the amount recommended.  Perhaps even this super charged version will still be weaker than I’d prefer.

Here is the part where I tell you how pleased I am with myself for increasing the flavor.  I can really taste the lavender.  It’s not some frilly beverage I’d drink at a cocktail party in tiny sips.  No, this is LAVENDER SODA and I like it.  Did I think I’d like it, no… not at all?  That’s because I was thinking it’d be more like my Dry Soda experience which left me feeling empty. 

The carbonation I created is tiny yet noticeable.  As I previously stated this was made in my Sodastream and I gave it “three buzzes” worth of carbonation which was the recommended level.  I will say that Elixir Lavender does taste a bit alcoholic yet there is no alcohol in site.  Of course it supposedly pairs well with alcohol, so perhaps this is why the flavor is shadowed.  Each time I take a swig out of my glass my nostrils fill with a lavender scent that thankfully does not rival the potpourri you might otherwise find lavender in.  While I know it’s impossible, I also get a slight grape flavor with each sip I take.  I’m thinking this falsity lies within the fact that I like most people associate purple soda with grape.  If I were a betting man I’d bet that this taste I’m transforming into grape is created by the blueberry extract that resides within the bottle.  It’s this very blueberry extract that I believe is balancing out the lavender taste so that my brain can both comprehend and enjoy what I’m partaking in.

 Now with that said, I’m sure lavender soda isn’t for everyone, heck I feel a bit odd with each sip I take.  Thankfully the gardens at Elixir are home to a few other flowers as well.  Perhaps they’ll have one you might enjoy.  So there you have it.  I broke all the rules (1 rule) and made a super Elixir Lavender Soda and I enjoyed it.  Give it a shot (HA! Puns!).

~A  

Stop and smell the iguanas!

Flathead Lake Sour Cherry

I’ve made it no mystery that I enjoy sour beverages.  What a terrible mystery that would be. If it was an Encyclopedia Brown book you’d throw it away at the big reveal.  “Turns out Aaron LIKES sour sodas!”… aaaaand in the trash.  Of course something can be so sour it’s hard to enjoy, but for the most part I enjoy most sour sodas, or at least the idea behind them.  Flathead Lake Sour Cherry is what sits in my cup holder at the moment and I’m about to take a dive into it, mouth first.  The color is a delightful dark red, almost maroon, which gives my eyes a hint of what’s to come.  A look at the ingredients shows that I’m about to ingest a bunch of chemicals and “natural flavors”.  Well then, there’s no time like the present to ingest some chemicals!

A rich, cherry sno-cone syrup-esque (double hyphenated word, nice) aroma reaches out of the bottle and socks me in the nose.  Chemicals or not, I’m now a bit more excited to give this soda a chug.

Oh, that’s right.  Flathead Lake soda is seems to always be a little more watery than you’d expect.  Fortunately for Sour Cherry it’s not so watery that I’m going to deduct points, it just took me off guard.  As for the “sour” portion of sour cherry… it’s noticeable, but your cheeks aren’t going to pucker at all.  It’s certainly discernible from your standard cherry soda though.  The bubbles are tight and few in number, yet strong enough to be a part of the drinking experience with every sip.  Sadly there is a bit of a syrup curtain that falls at the end of each act.  This curtain has a pleasant taste, but overstays its welcome with each lowering.  While an encore wouldn’t be a terrible thing, I’d really just prefer if this soda ended on the sour sensation it leaves at the tip of my tongue.  Ah well, someone get Sandman to pull ‘em off stage and we won’t have that problem anymore.  Didn’t think you’d find a Showtime at the Apollo reference in a soda review?  You must be new to the site.  Welcome!

All in all Flathead Lake Sour Cherry is a tasty soda, but nothing to write to Mom about.  Granted I just did write to my mom about it because she reads the site, but I digress.

~A

Twist has been mistaken as the Flathead Lake Monster for years.  He's not it though as he's much, much older.

Hockey Soda Energy

Today’s faire from ThirstMonger is Hockey Soda Energy, which is actually an energy drink.  I once called an energy drink a soda and the guy sending it to me made sure to correct me.  I’m pleased to see that Hockey Soda isn’t nearly as uptight with their nomenclature.  Hockey Soda Energy lives in a black can with an intimidating blue hockey mask emblazoned on the label.  Circling the top of the can are the ingredients of L-Glutamine, B Vitamins, L-Carnitine, and Taurine, circle the top.  I’m not a hockey player by any means as I’ve never seen more than a patch of ice on the road, much less a frozen lake.  Hockey Soda Energy forgives me for this and tells me to do the following:  “Dangle, snipe, and celly with this pro style energy drink, Hockey Soda Energy.”  I understand those to be hockey terms, but honestly I only know “snipe” of the three.  No matter, I’m also promised that “Hockey Soda Energy is a cola citrus energy drink infusing the past with the present.”  A cola citrus energy drink, huh?  I have no idea how one pulls that off, but if they can merge past with present then I’m sure cola citrus energy combinations are simple.  Let’s open this up, shall we?

Surprisingly this smells quite a bit like cola and I must say I’d already written it off that it wouldn’t.  Hockey Soda Energy has called me out, and in the case of the smell test, checked me into the boards.  See what I did there?  It’s a hockey analogy.  I can do it too.

With my first sip of Hockey Soda Energy I’m taken aback by the fact that the cola citrus flavor they promised is now happily swimming around in my mouth.  The initial first half of my sip is indeed flavored with cola, but a strong citrus blast comes through and cleanly sweeps it away.  Lemon, lime, and a hint of that taste that seems to be in all energy drinks, create what can only be described as a “zing” of citrus.  This zing is sour enough that your cheeks pull inward, showing the starting signs of “pucker”. 

Now of course with all this good, there is some bad.  First off the initial cola taste weakens with each sip you take.  This is because the secondary citrus flavor eventually takes full residence in your taste buds and the cola just can’t yell loud enough to be heard.  I really do like the citrus flavor that I’m ultimately left with, but it’s the cola/citrus combo that’s presented so well at the beginning that sets Hockey Soda Energy apart.  Secondly, I’m always going to squawk a little when it comes to high fructose corn syrup.  So… squawk.

To go back to the positive though, I’m honestly surprised by how much I like the taste of this beverage.  The fact that they actually pulled off a cola/citrus hybrid impresses me the most.  That impressive impression is followed by the fact that they’ve created an energy drink that doesn’t have a vague bubble gum sweetness to it.  In a market where energy drinks are a dime a dozen it makes me really happy to see one that, in my mind at least, shows how being different can sway even the harshest critics… I’m talking about me.  

~A

Oddly enough Twist turned down the role of Casey Jones in the new TMNT

Maine Root Sarsaparilla

Well here we go again with a bottle of simple root beer… sorry, sarsaparilla.  It’s bold that a company would sell both a root beer and a sarsaparilla as many cannot tell the difference in taste between the two.  Apparently Maine Root is so bold as to do just this.  Both root beer and sarsaparilla are flavored with the sarsaparilla root, but root beer tends to be more complex in the additional flavors.  So that’s why I consider sarsaparilla soda (I’m getting really tired of typing out sarsaparilla) a “simple root beer”.  This beverage in front of me is all natural which already starts us off in the right direction as I prepare to huff it.

It does smell of root beer, but with a stronger birch aroma than you might find in its sudsy brother.  I’m curious to see if I’m right in assuming that it won’t be as creamy either.

It’s not super creamy, but the mouth feel is fantastic.  A tantalizing amount of fizz is present throughout the entire sip.  Bubbles quietly creep on to my tongue and increase in ferocity as the drink wears on.  The birch flavoring allows me to somewhat easily identify this as a sarsaparilla instead of a root beer.  I’m happy to see that some effort went into this soda and the word “sarsaparilla” wasn’t just stamped on the side for kicks.  A sweet caramel taste sticks to the tip of my tongue as each gulp is vanquished.  It’s this taste that is left in my memory each time I pause between sips.  Again I can’t overstate how exciting the bubbles feel.  Ok, so I can easily overstate how exciting the bubbles feel… and probably have, but really guys, c’mon, the BUBBLES! 

Sadly, as I continue to drink this soda the flavor begins to build upon itself in such a way that the original experiences are pushed to the back so that this new group of experiences can stand on the stage and scream.  The sweetness begins to compound upon itself, stealing the show from the caramel, carbonation, and birch.  All in all Maine Root Sarsaparilla is an above average soda, but all good things must come to an end… this one about three fourths of the way through the bottle.

~A

I always feel like a gold prospector when I say the word "sarsaparilla"

Oogave Loca Diet Cola

In front of me I have a soda made by one of my favorite companies, All-Natural Oogave.  On the same note, I have a soda in front of me that contains an ingredient that I’m not all that fond of, stevia.  Here’s the twist.  The company I love used an ingredient I’m not thrilled about and now all I can do about it is review the can of Loca Diet Cola in front of me.  First off our history with Oogave is well documented.  They were one of the first believers of this site and supplied us with many a tasty beverage.  Heck they’re the only company we’ve done a “company review” on (there was supposed to be more of those, but we got lazy).  So as I said before, we like Oogave.  Now for my beef with stevia.

Stevia, if you are not aware, is a natural sweetener that is very low cal.  Stevia is a great alternative to sugar in diet beverages, but for me and many others it leaves a disheartening aftertaste.  Any beverage I’ve ever had that was solely sweetened with stevia has not been in my good graces.  Never fear, stevia fans.  Once upon a time we stumbled upon a beverage that was “split sweetened”.  It used both sugar and stevia and the results were fantastic.  It seems that sharing the duties with a delicious sweetener was right in the wheel-house of stevia.  Fortunately Loca Diet Cola deals with stevia the awesome way.

Loca Diet Cola uses both stevia and agave nectar (an Oogave staple) to tastify their soda.  This results in a 10 calorie cola which may still leave you skeptical, but hopefully I’m about to sway you to the positive.  Aside from the sweetener, Loca Diet Cola is an all-natural beverage, but if you’re a fan of Oogave like we are that shouldn’t surprise you in the slightest.  Even though I’m a fan of their products I too still have my doubts that this diet cola is going to knock my socks off in the taste department.  I guess there’s only one way to find out.

A noticeable cola scent rises from the mouth of the can.  It doesn’t have the “chemical scent” that many diet colas have and for that I mark down a point in the “nice” column.

The first sip reveals that I will not be partaking in that dreaded stevia aftertaste today, so good for you Loca Diet Cola.  Now that my fear has been quelled I can focus better on the task at hand.  Each sip I take includes the following:  Cola flavor, club soda flavor, cola flavor.  I’m not really sure what’s happening in the middle there, but the cola flavor kind of ducks out for a second and I’m left with a curious experience.  I don’t find Loca Diet Cola as rich as other colas in taste, but that may be by design.  If I were to do a blind taste test on this beverage I could tell you that it’s a diet cola, but a good diet cola and that’s good because those are so far and few between.

The carbonation level in Loca Diet Cola is great as the bubbles are staying strong throughout, racing around my teeth and gums.  It’s this racing speed that surprises me as many Oogave sodas are lower in carbonation due to the agave nectar not getting along with the C02 molecules… more or less.  Apparently the addition of stevia allows those molecules to attach a little easier and create the very fun mouth feel I just experienced. 

Overall, Loca Diet Cola is a good diet soda and one I would recommend to anyone out there that either drinks diet beverages or is considering switching to diet beverages.  In a world where diet sodas are usually a chemical stew it’s really nice to see an all-natural, organic entry into this market.  Go Oogave!  Googave!

~A

Who you tryin' to get crazy with ese? Don't you know I'm drinkin' loca?

Faygo Original Red Pop

Red pop is a somewhat foreign concept to me.  I understand that it’s a big deal in other parts of the country, but here in Houston I’d be surprised to see it in a local grocery store.  Even though it makes perfect sense I find regional soda love very odd.  What shaped the history and tastes of that region?  Why does Maine love Moxie so much?  Why is red pop a northern thing?  Why is Cheerwine a Carolina thing?  I’m sure there’s a simple answer to all of those, probably mostly based on the origin of the product.  I still find it interesting.  I also find it interesting that red pop, or in this case Faygo Original Red Pop, is just strawberry soda.  Why not just call it strawberry soda?  I’ve had red pop once before, so my venture into this world isn’t completely unique.  I’m hoping that the cane sugar sweetened version of red pop will be even tastier.  Let’s find out, shall we?

The scent of Faygo Original Red Pop is somewhat muted and I must say I’m a bit shocked by this.  When I think of a strawberry soda, I think of an overly sweetened, cotton candy-esque beverage that sits on my tongue for hours after consumption.  This version of red pop, based on the smell at least, seems like it may be a bit tamer to the taste.

I was correct, this isn’t your standard sugary red liquid made to taste like candied strawberries.  Faygo Original Red Pop feels like an adult version of strawberry soda.  Let’s not pretend it’s not sweet, it most certainly is, but the flavor that accompanies said sweetness isn’t trying to impress you.  A well-defined strawberry flavor that leans towards candy a bit more than actual strawberries is the first experience my tongue runs into.  The carbonation gives my mouth a hybrid sensation of both fizzy and fluffy, keeping the experience fun the whole way through.  At the apex of the swig the middle of my tongue experiences a shock of sweetness that slowly vanishes becoming nothing more than a memory.  I don’t really even have time to figure out if that peak of sweetness was in fact too sweet for my taste buds.  Honestly, I don’t care.  I think influx of sugary taste is another reason the beverage stays fun.  If it all tasted like that it’d be overkill and I wouldn’t even try to finish the bottle.  Fortunately, this soda seems to pace itself as it’s being consumed.  Fun carbonation here, quick burst of sweetened strawberry flavor here, smooth mouth feel here… it works.

Faygo Original Red Pop is not strawberry soda and I’m happy to have figured that out, but it’s really hard to explain why it isn’t what it clearly states it is.  Let’s use geometry for example.  A square can both truthfully be called a square or a rectangle as it has four right angles.  No one is going to call see a square and call it a rectangle even though it would be the truth.  Faygo Original Red Pop is a strawberry soda, it’s also Red Pop.  Guess which one it deserves to be called.  I had a hard time rating this, but the more I think about it I realize that I would want more than 4 in my fridge.

~A

Twist is a green pop, but that's a story for another time

Hank's Orange Cream Soda

Without looking I can already tell you the last several sodas we’ve reviewed have all been root beer or cream soda based beverages.  I thought about bucking that trend today, but instead of shocking your brains too much I’ll ease out of the root beer/cream soda genre with a tall orange bottle of Hank’s Orange Cream Soda.  This fancy looking bottle contains a liquid that has two things going for it; the first is that it’s sweetened with cane sugar.  Secondly, Hank’s uses orange juice concentrate in the making of their orange cream soda… something I haven’t seen before.  I’m curious if this will be as smooth as other orange cream or “dreamsicle” sodas since actual orange juice is in play here.  Only in time will we find out. 

Either I’m getting weaker or these twist off caps are getting harder to remove.  Yeesh.  Hank’s OCS delivers in the scent department by giving my snout a tremendous amount of both orange and vanilla aroma.  The dogs wrestling behind me can’t even pry my attention away from this beverage.

Forget what that last guy said about this not being a smooth orange cream.  That last guy was crazy, as this is a very smooth soda.  There is an initial burn on the tip of my tongue created by the enclosed fizz, but quickly it disintegrates into a creamy citrus slide.  If someone were to ask me if I thought this had orange juice concentrate in it I’d probably say it didn’t.  The orange flavor doesn’t really attack your throat like it would in juice form.  Instead it appears in front of you wrapped up in just enough vanilla that you have a hard time figuring out if it’s the real thing or not.  The orange vanilla hug that happens in this bottle continues its embrace down my gullet.  The two flavors are inseparable and work in tandem throughout each sip. 

The finish of Hank’s OCS leaves something to be desired as it develops a somewhat “fake” taste near the end that only worsens until you take another swig, starting the experience back over again.  I’m a little weary of my final gulp seeing as I won’t have anything left to reset the taste.  Perhaps I’ll open this extra People Water I have lying around.  All in all Hank’s OCS is a tasty soda with some shortcomings here and there.  Shortcomings included this should still be in your fridge in multiples.

~A

Twist coined the word "gourmet"

JOIA Pineapple Coconut & Nutmeg

When ThirstMonger said this week’s beverage was going to be JOIA, I honestly had no idea what would be coming in the mail.  When I opened the box I found six oddly delightful flavored sodas that I honestly can’t wait to try.  Since my fridge is full of soda as it is, I took a chance and picked the best two sounding flavors that were to be chosen from when chilled.  Upon opening my ice box again Joia Pineapple Coconut & Nutmeg was the winner and I cannot wait to try it. 

JOIA lists itself as an all-natural soda which is very pleasing to both my eyes and my tongue.  Looking at the ingredient list I’m impressed even further as I see pure cane sugar, real pineapple juice concentrate, and natural flavors of pineapple, coconut, nutmeg, cocoa, etc.  There’s other ingredients that are equally natural that I’m leaving out, but these are the ones that I’ll be tasting so I figured them important enough to mention.  The JOIA bottle design is very tranquil and reminds me of something I might be handed on a beach vacationing somewhere.  I’m not big on beach vacations, but I am big on fancy tropical drinks… perhaps I was just given an easy way to induce enjoyment.  I picked JOIA Pineapple Coconut & Nutmeg because those three flavors just sound like that need to be together, like they’ve been buddies all along playing behind the school.  Hopefully my initial thoughts won’t lead me astray. 

A delightful aroma containing all three of the listed flavors oozes out of the mouth of the bottle.  It’s not an overpowering aroma, but it certainly isn’t playing around.  I suppose it’s time to follow the directions on the side of the bottle and “Drink Instinct”.

Just as I suspected the flavors act as if they are old chums, each complementing the other.  Pineapple comes in as the base, setting the stage for its friends.  Coconut comes out and tells a light joke to get everyone chuckling and nutmeg works the lights determining the mood of each sip.  If one were to be considered strongest of the three it would have to be pineapple, but nutmeg and coconut aren’t far behind.  The Nutmeg adds a somewhat bitter taste to each sip, but the undertone of sweet pineapple helps me forget it by the end of my swig.  The carbonation level of JOIA is a slight, sharp fizz that grazes all parts of my mouth.  It keeps my tongue interested and tells my hand to continue picking up the bottle.  I’m not hugely fond of pineapple sodas so some of my bias may show in the rating, but JOIA does a good job with the natural juices and flavors they have on their palette.  While I enjoyed JOIA Pineapple, Coconut, and Nutmeg I’m sure it won’t be my favorite of the JOIA brand.  I can’t wait to find out what that will be.

~A

Twist says "You'll enJOIA it." Then he cried tears of sorrow for such a pun.

Rocket Fizz Root Beer Float

In the infantile days of this site (I believe we were still on LiveJournal) we reviewed A&W Root Beer Float in a bottle.  I think the word that got tossed around a lot was “rancid” which left us a bit gun shy to try another Root Beer Float in a bottle.  Thankfully Rocket Fizz has such a beverage and since they rarely steer me wrong I have no worries about trying it.  Rocket Fizz Root Beer Float may not be the bees knees, but I can almost guarantee you that I won’t use the word “rancid” in its description.  Of course it’s sweetened with pure cane sugar, but after that the ingredients become a bit to chemical or vague (natural/artificial flavors) to really care enough to go into detail.  So my expectations are set carefully above “awful”… something tells me it will easily surpass them.

My nose has a hard time recognizing the “float” scent that should be coming out of the mouth of the bottle.  Of course this could easily be the result of a high level of grass pollen in the air that occasionally renders my nose useless.  I can smell a rich and sugary root beer flavor with something different in the background.  Hopefully the “ice cream” will arrive once I take a swig.

Well it’s a heck of a lot better than A&W’s version of the same flavor.  The root beer taste is burly and easily experienced, but the vanilla ice cream never shows up to the party… a different visitor must have stolen his invitation.  Roasted marshmallow is the secondary flavor in this soda and he’s quite brash about his presence.  You’d think that someone who was not invited to a shin did would show a bit of cowardice, but not R.M.  He kicked the door open, announced his arrival, spit on the floor, and kissed root beer’s sister.  It’s like he knows he doesn’t belong, but doesn’t care because he’s sure he’ll win you over… and he’s right.  I really did want to try a good root beer float soda, but with every sip of root beer and roasted marshmallow I care less and less that the ice cream taste is absent.  It’s an odd combination on virtual paper that works like gangbusters in my mouth.  Perhaps I should retool that last sentence, better not as then this sentence wouldn’t make any sense. 

Are there faults to Rocket Fizz Root Beer Float?  Well aside from the fact that it doesn’t exactly taste as the label states, yes there are.  The root beer flavor, while good, could be richer, creamier, just better in general for one.  A somewhat syrupy mouth feel is my last impression of the beverage.  I wouldn’t say it’s the velvet curtain I so often describe, but perhaps a sheer curtain used for fog effects.  All in all Rocket Fizz Root Beer Float is something out of the ordinary and I suggest you buy multiples to share.

~A

Twist is a Rocket Fizz Man, burning up his fuse up here alone.

Maine Root - Root Beer

The Maine Root brand has been great to us with all sorts of fantastic flavors, oddly enough though I’ve never tried their root beer.  That’s like going into Red Lobster and not trying their lobster…something I’ve also never tried.  Ok, so it’s like going to Whataburger and not getting a Whataburger.  I’d love to meet the person who’s done that… then shove a Whataburger down their throat.  Thankfully there will be no hamburgers force fed to anyone in today’s review, just good old fashioned root beer drinkin’.  Maine Root Root Beer is made up of carbonated pure water, Fair Trade Certified organic cane juice and spices.  That’s all it says on the bottle and I can’t wait to drink it. 

A very rooty aroma slithers out the top of the bottle.  From scent alone I would guess this will be more about strength of taste and less about being smooth and creamy.  I’ll only unlock this unsolvable riddle, wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in a bottle, once I drink it. 

Maine Root Root Beer is big on taste, but does not completely give up on being creamy.  Each sip I take has a flavor comparable to a root beer barrel, very sweet and full of delicious.  The carbonation begins as a sharp set of bubbles racing along the tip of my tongue, but by the end of the sip has transformed into a mixture of fizz and clouds.  A wintergreen taste peeks his head around the corner every once in a while, but it seem he’s too scared to really make a scene.  The aftertaste I’m left with is a pleasant one that mirrors the flavor of the beverage and not some terrible facsimile.  There aren’t many people out there wishing for an aftertaste that reminds them of what the soda would taste like through a sock and fortunately with Maine Root Root Beer you won’t know that “pleasure” unless you set that experiment up for yourself.

For all the good that goes into Maine Root products this is my least favorite of the bunch.  It’s still a good root beer that surpasses all the store brands, but other than the great ingredient list there’s nothing that really pushes it past “above average”.  You’ll be pleased you purchased a pack, but I doubt you’ll be hooked on the stuff.

~A

Twist is actually one of the spices used.

Dad's Cream Soda

With a quick look at the website I see that we reviewed Dad’s Root Beer nearly three years ago from today.  While it didn’t really thrill us that doesn’t mean that their cream soda entry will follow the same fate.  By the way, we’re reviewing Dad’s Cream Soda today.  Dad’s Cream Soda has all the markings of your run of the mill cream soda.  The golden liquid sits within a clear bottle adorned with a “retro” label.  The ingredients are comprised of HFCS, Natural and Artificial flavors, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.  So with all that said I’m still hoping for a better than average taste.  Even though the “retro” look is something many cream sodas have it always makes me excited to try it.  Maybe this soda really will taste like it did so many years ago… not that I have any idea what Dad’s Cream Soda used to taste like. 

Dad’s Cream Soda also smells like most any cream soda.  Its rich vanilla tones are unmistakable and create a creamy vision within your imagination of what this might taste like.

Yup, that’s cream soda alright.  Dad’s cream soda delivers on the rich vanilla contract its aroma made with my nose.  The carbonation is light and unobtrusive, allowing for the flavor to be appreciated fully.  Unfortunately, while Dad’s Cream Soda starts off strong the memory your mouth is left with is that of a slightly watery beverage.  Halfway between the initial sip and consumption the flavor dissipates into about half of what you started out with.  It’s not so watery that it becomes terrible, but it’s hard for a soda to be viewed as anything but average when it can’t even keep its flavor throughout.  As you would expect this is a rather sweet beverage, though I would almost consider it to be a failing if a cream soda wasn’t sweet.  Surely there is an exception to this rule, but I’ve yet to find it.  Overall Dad’s Cream Soda is a very average cream soda.  If you like drinking out of glass bottles then pick some up, but if you’re looking for something better than A&W you haven’t found it here.

~A

Dad's?  More like Sad's... eh.

Sea Dog Root Beer

A dog whimpers from downstairs, unhappy that she has been put to bed for the night in her crate.  Another dog asks himself “why must I put up with this whining youngling?”  Yet another dog stares at me from beneath his fisherman’s cap.  His white fur poofing out in all directions much like that of a polar bear.  Two ropes lay behind his head creating a sort of skull and crossbones look, but the red tongue hanging out of his mouth removes any amount of fear I may have had.  The third dog is looking at me from a bottle of root beer, Sea Dog Root Beer to be exact.  If I was curious as to what “style” this root beer was made in that’s answered for me with the words “old style” beneath their canine mascot.  Sea Dog root beer is made with cane sugar, wintergreen oil, anise, vanilla, spices, herbs, etc.  All in all it’s a fairly impressive ingredients list.  The cat now waits with baited breath for me to consume the Sea Dog Root Beer.  Actually, I’m pretty sure she doesn’t care at all what I do just as long as her tailbone gets scritched and her supper dish gets filled.

A medium to mild root beer aroma escapes the mouth of the bottle.  Wintergreen is the first actor on the stage, but I can see the others peering from behind the curtain with vanilla looking particularly eager. 

Sea Dog Root Beer isn’t nearly as creamy as I thought it would be.  It has more bite (dog jokes avoided) than what you might find in your standard root beer.  The wintergreen is noticeable, as is normal when used in root beer, but does not overpower the taste to the point of disappointment.  I’m not finding the overall experience of Sea Dog to be as pleasant as I had hoped.  It’s not revolting by any means, but the way it sits on my tongue is almost crass.  The carbonation experience isn’t worth more than this sentence as it adds little to the root beer. It’s unapologetic in its lack of smoothness.  Much like the whining dog downstairs (who thankfully has fallen asleep) Sea Dog shows you that it knows how to do the tricks, but refuses to bow to your whim.  While I can appreciate a root beer with some spark I keep getting a taste in my mouth that reminds me of diet root beer and I know that’s not the case.  I’m not sure if it’s the anise giving off that dubious flavor, but this taste coupled with the fact that two of my friends just gave up on Doctor Who without even finishing the first episode have soured me from recommending that you buy Sea Dog Root Beer in multiples.  Ok, so the Doctor Who thing is an unrelated rant, but c’mon they’re missing out on so many great adventures.  Sea Dog Root Beer on the other hand has an above average ingredient list, yet only has an average taste.

~A

Yo ho ho and a bottle of something else.