Pure Sodaworks Cafe Cola

/
Today's use of "sapid" brought to you by Thesaurus.com

Today's use of "sapid" brought to you by Thesaurus.com

Pure Sodaworks Strawberry Jalapeno has both strawberries and jalapenos in the ingredients.  Pure Sodaworks Honey Lime has both honey and lime in the ingredients.  This begs the question, what does Pure Sodaworks Café Cola have in it?  We know they’ll be using 100% natural ingredients, but what are they?  Why aren’t I reading the ingredients right now since the bottle simply sits inches away?  Ok, I’ve tortured myself enough.  Here is what makes up a bottle of Pure Sodaworks Café Cola:  Sparkling Water, Pure Cane Sugar, Orange Juice, Lemon Juice, Lime Juice, Herbs and Spices, Caramel Color (from cane sugar), Espresso, and Citric Acid.  So while that may be a bit more complicated than “Honey + Lime = Soda”, you can’t deny that doesn’t include anything you couldn’t easily find at your local grocer.  Perhaps some of the “herbs and spices” would be difficult, but for the sake of this review let’s pretend they’re there too and move on.

Something that struck me as odd is that this is cola seems overly dark in color, so dark that when I shine a flashlight up from the bottom of the bottle the light doesn’t make it all the way to the top.  You haven’t heard of this time tested test of soda color?  This isn’t something I’m going to start doing “on the reg”, but I figured in this case it’d be kinda fun.  Sorry to have wasted your time, I guess I’ll just open it now.

Wow, the spices used are quite pungent.  It’s like I have a basket of cola potpourri and next to me and why wouldn’t I?  I like the finer things in life too.  Cola potpourri, Dr Pepper Febreeze, root beer candles… you know, the norm.  Time for a drink.

I’m somewhat thankful that the spice isn’t as noticed in the taste as it is the smell.  My tongue is greeted with a strong cola flavor that lacks the bite that so many of us are used too in our Coca-Cola brand Cokes.  What fills this void of harshness is the smooth sensation of cola made sharp only by the carbonation that dances around it.  It’s not so sweet that you couldn’t enjoy it with a meal, but it does seem a touch more sugary than what you might be expecting.

If this were the end of the experience I’d say Pure Sodaworks Café Cola was an above average cola that I was happy to try, then I’d go about my day.  Thankfully this is not the case.  The espresso included sets Café Cola even further ahead of the pack by giving the final moments of each sip as well as the aftertaste a roasted coffee flavor.  I personally hate the taste of coffee, but I absolutely love the way it smells.  Pure Sodaworks Café Cola transmogrifies the scent of coffee into a taste and lets it run slightly behind the lead horse named Cola.  This roasted bean makes all the difference in the world making this beverage quite sapid.  Drink this cola if you like colas.  Drink this cola if you like coffee.  Drink this cola if you like sodas.  Drink this cola.

~A  

This beverage supplied to us by Pure Sodaworks

thesodajerk_SK08aA02a.png

A “Twist’s Choice” Recipient

Pure Sodaworks Honey Lime

/
Honey Lime was Twist's stripper name

Honey Lime was Twist's stripper name

So, Pure Sodaworks seems to be on a winning streak here with their soda creations.  Root beer started off strong before developing a tea flavor.  Strawberry Jalapeno and Apple Pie where both fantastically awesome!  Today I’ve got a bottle of Honey Lime in front of me and I can only assume it too will be delightful.  By now I’m sure you can guess the ingredients, but it’s so much fun to write them out so here we go:  Sparkling water, Honey, Pure Cane Sugar, Lime Juice, Citric Acid.  I don’t think I’ll ever tire of listing great ingredients.  I’m particularly excited about the sediment in this bottle.  I can only hope that it’s bits of lime, but whatever it might be I trust they made a great soda.  Let’s find out for sure though, shall we?

Honey is used in a lot of the craft sodas I’ve tasted, but I’ve never been able to so easily identify its use by smell alone.  The aroma is sweet with a lime chaser.  Quite the opposite of what I figured would be wafting out of the mouth of this bottle.  Curse you, Pure Sodaworks!  Why must you constantly impress me?  Making these reviews seem like walking advertisements!

That is honey. That is lime.  The immediate flavor that hits my tongue is the sweet, velvety, greatness of honey.  The scene that follows is a lot like a photographer dealing with a star’s body guard.  Honey is quickly escorted to safety by Lime.  Out of the reaches of my taste buds… I mean Bud the photographer.  After Honey is safely hidden away Lime punches Bud in the face, creating a burst of flavor and a broken nose.  Seeing that her bodyguard Lime is attacking Bud (and not wanting a bad PR storm), Honey springs from the car and attempts to pull Lime away.  What ends up happening is that the three of them fall to the ground in a heap.  Bud is still being attacked by Lime, but Honey’s presence has certainly softened the situation up a bit.  Now the harsh hits of Lime don’t seem so bad.  Slowly the camera pulls away from the scene revealing the bitter Lime and the inviting Honey tussled upon the ground.

That’s an overly fancy way of saying that while the real deal honey flavor is immediately what you experience, lime quickly takes over for a brief moment.  Eventually the two flavors come together, complementing one another with their differences. 

I must say that while I love everything about this beverage, I’m not blown away by the taste.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s great.  I just don’t see myself wanting to come back for more as often as I would with the Strawberry Jalapeno or the Apple Pie… oh goodness the Apple Pie.  With that said this should definitely be tried, so get to it.

~A

This soda was provided to us by Pure Sodaworks

Pure Sodaworks Apple Pie

/

Sweet, sweet, sediment.

One of the first sodas that truly amazed me was Reeds Spiced Apple Brew.  My fragile mind could not fathom that a soda could have the aftertaste of apple pie.  It was only until I tasted Soda Fruit Apple Crumble did I realize this fantastic flavor could even be replicated.  With those two companies excelling in the accomplishment of apple pie flavored sodas, I must say that Pure Sodaworks has their work cut out for them.  Pure Sodaworks Apple Pie is only going against two sodas, but those two sodas are both in my all-time top 5.  Best of luck guys, but your ingredient list of sparkling water, apple cider, pure cane sugar, cinnamon and vanilla allows me to think you’ve got a chance.

That smells like apple pie.  It doesn’t smell like apple pie soda, it smells like apple pie.  At this point I’m almost positive that I’m in for another treat.  Apple Pie soda is a rarity.  Technically Reeds Spiced Apple Brew is not one, but I consider it one due to its aftertaste.  I think the trifecta of apple pie soda is about to complete with my first sip.  Please don’t make a liar out of my imagination Pure Sodaworks.  Please don’t disappoint me.

I love you Pure Sodaworks.  I love your apple pie soda… at least that’s my initial reaction.  What impresses me the most is how true the apple flavor is to what you’d find in an apple pie.  The caramel apples buried beneath the crust are mirrored in taste within this bottle.  Light carbonation dances about in the background as it’s pleased to be playing second fiddle to the taste at hand.  A finale features the initial players of Apple, Cinnamon, and Sugar, but another actor has appeared on the stage.  Vanilla.  She hadn’t been present before, but now you can’t take your eyes off of her.  Gracefully she blends in to the rest of the company and it’s like she was there the whole time.  They all take a bow and you’re mouth is left empty.  Yet, you still have the memories of the performance and they’re not syrupy sweet.  They’re honest memories and you’ll tell your friends all about them.

That’s perhaps the “artsiest” review I’ve ever written, but who cares.  Pure Sodaworks Apple Pie is amazing and easily fills out the third spot in my Apple Pie Soda Trifecta.

~A

This soda supplied to us by Pure Sodaworks

thesodajerk_SK08aA02a.png

A “Twist’s Choice” Recipient

Pure Sodaworks Strawberry Jalapeno

/

The last soda I will drink in 2013 needs to be memorable.  It needs to be unique.  It needs to be flavored with strawberry AND jalapeno.  Luckily my oddly specific requirements have been met in Pure Sodaworks Strawberry Jalapeno soda.  Hey, you wanna know what’s in this soda?  Sparkling water, Pure Cane Sugar, Strawberries, and Jalapenos.  That’s beautiful.  The soda itself looks like you left your lucky red hat on the dashboard of your car for about 10 years; pink, but just barely.  I’m just too excited to type any longer.  This experience needs to begin right now.

Ok, I cheated a little bit, but it wasn’t my fault.  I gently upended the soda to get the sediment mixed and upon opening I had to stop the flow of fizz from going everywhere.  I got a bit of a taste, but it was just the foam.  Let’s just pretend it never happened, ok?  The smell is primarily that of the strawberry and it smells like a scratch and sniff sticker.  So light and inviting I can’t wait to actually test out the beverage.

Just as the scent lead me to believe the strawberry taste is great!  It’s not sugary nonsense (as so many strawberry sodas are) and the carbonation levels that accompany it are quite effervescent.  With each sip I take the jalapeno grows more confident as the flavor takes hold of my mouth.  The actual taste of jalapeno seems to be missing, but the heat you’d feel from one is certainly present.  I compare it to the burn of a ginger beer, but this heat lingers quite a bit longer. 

Twist wants me to find a new background.  I can't say I disagree with him.

The further down the bottle I go the more the flavor tilts in favor of the jalapeno.  Our friendly, funny, fizzy strawberry friend waves goodbye as he walks back home.  Meanwhile jalapeno starts to show his true personality as if he was afraid to be himself around strawberry.  Perhaps he has a crush on strawberry’s sister and didn’t want any negative word to travel her way.  Sadly, like most cases he really just should have been himself the whole time.  That way we could have seen exactly how well strawberry and jalapeno worked with one another.

It’s clear to me that when they made this soda they really had to complete a balancing act to get them just right.  Too little strawberry and you’d just end up with a weird tasting soda that burns your mouth.  Too little jalapeno and you reach a point why you’re adding it at all.  I think the folks at Pure Sodaworks did an excellent job with the balance of this soda.  It’s sweet, light enough to be quite refreshing, and overall a very unique experience to be had in the soda world. 

~A

This soda supplied to us by Pure Sodaworks

Pure Sodaworks Root Beer #4

/

A few weeks ago the fine folks at Pure Sodaworks sent me a six pack sampler of soda.  Thankfully, one of the most difficult decisions I make is which soda to drink first when I’ve never reviewed one from a particular brand.  The way I usually tackle this issue is to try their root beer or cola first.  It’s with those two flavors that the attention to detail can really be appreciated.  For instance, Pure Sodaworks has a Strawberry Jalapeno flavor that I’m dying to try.  That wacky flavor combination is already hyping up the brand for me, but I want to see what they can do with a flavor that everyone makes… root beer.  To be specific this is Root Beer #4, I have no idea why it’s Root Beer #4 it just is.

Looking at the coloration of the beverage it’s lighter than I’d think a root beer would be, but I do see some sediment at the bottom of the bottle so I’m excited about that.  Looking at the ingredients list I see that this contains Sparkling Water, Pure Cane Sugar, Molasses, Herbs and Spices, and Citric Acid.  That my friends is a 100% Natural Root Beer.  No sodium benzoate or artificial flavors to be found here.  Lighter color be darned, I’m ready to find out what made #4 so much better than numbers one through three.

I upend the bottle to swirl around the spices.  The scent that gently wafts from the mouth is one of the most unique root beer scents I’ve experienced to date.  It’s a root beer that smells like Christmas.  The aroma is something I would like to duplicate in a potpourri, but at the same time it’s pushing me to consume it as a rapid pace.  Since I don’t have the time for arts and crafts today, I guess I’ll just have to drink it.

I just typed two curse words and deleted them.  This is amazing root beer.  This is possibly the best first sip I’ve ever taken and I’m ready to go back for more.   Molasses seeps into each sip keeping me grounded in the fact that this is indeed a root beer and not just a hodge podge of spice and flavor.  What I can only assume is ginger swirls about and creates the lightest of burns with each sip taken.  It’s just enough to keep my mouth alive and aware of what’s happening.  The more I drink it though the harder the molasses has to work as the initial root beer flavoring is vanishing as all the other flavors present begin to build on one another.  This tastes less and less like a root beer and more like sweet spiced tea.  How is this metamorphosis even possible?  I guess if a caterpillar can become a butterfly then root beer to tea isn’t that much of a stretch.

Twist is baffled... at least I think he is.

We’ve reached an odd point in the review.  I’ve never had a root beer transform into tea about halfway through the bottle.  Within my last few sips I couldn’t even recognize that it was a root beer at all. Even the aftertaste is that of spiced tea… so very bizarre. 

While it was playing the role of Root Beer #4 the flavors were both unique and familiar.  The carbonation was at just the right level of fun and the whole thing seemed like it was destined for our highest rating.  Then the breakdown occurred.   A blurry line stood between root beer and spiced tea, with the latter taking out the former with the skill of an assassin.  I don’t know how that happened, but the drink was good.  Confusing, but still very good.  With that said I definitely recommend this to all.  You’ll taste a beverage unlike any other and you’ll be a better person for it.

~A

This soda supplied to us by Pure Sodaworks

JOIA Blackberry Pomegranate & Ginger

/

For the time being (and it will be a short time) I’ve run out of my own stuff to review.  Thankfully the folks at ThirstMonger have kept me well stocked with other beverages, namely Joia.  We’ve reviewed a Joia flavor before and at the time I was rather impressed with their flavor selection.  Today’s offering deserves the same praise as the flavor listed is Blackberry, Pomegranate and Ginger.  In case you’ve forgotten, Joia is an all-natural soda sweetened with pure cane sugar and erythritol which is a natural sweetener.  Blackberry, pomegranate, ginger, and elderflower are all listed as ingredients as well, so I’m feeling pretty good about what I’m about to consume.  The healthy cranberry red color is also quite pleasing to the eye.  Enough chittering, time to crack this bottle open.

The aroma that comes off the top is not unlike a rose.  There is a sweet, flowery smell, that if huffed a bit stronger deconstructs (There, I wrote it.  I wrote one of the “fanciest” review words there is.  I’ve been trying to avoid that word, but it just came out this time.  Dang it.  I’ve sold out to the English language) into the listed fruit flavors on the bottle.  Let’s see if this superb scent translates into a terrific taste.  Double alliteration.  You like that?

That is an incredibly pleasant experience.  Immediately I’m shown that the level of carbonation has been though out.  It’s just the right amount of tickle when compared to the viscosity of the beverage.  It ultimately stays out of the way, but occasionally cracks a joke form the corner just to let you know he’s there. 

Even Twist can't break this c-c-combo

All three listed flavors have shown up for roll call and aren’t hiding toward the back of the group.  When I first take a sip the triple threat is at its strongest.  The blackberry and pomegranate stand tall upon my taste buds with a very noticeable ginger right behind them.  Pretend you’re playing “Red Rover” with fruit.  Blackberry and Pomegranate are on a team and they call out, “Red rover, red rover, let Ginger come over.”  Ginger releases whatever losers he was tied to and crashes into the arms of B.B. and Pommy.  That’s how Joia introduced this ginger flavor to my mouth.  You see him running up from the distance, gaining speed, like you’re about to be hit in the face with the burning sensation of ginger. 

Then right as he’s within spitting distance the arms of Blackberry and Pomegranate slow him down enough that they avert disaster.  Ginger may pull their arms back trying to break free, but B.B. and Pommy hold strong.  Take a mental picture of that.  Three “kids” playing this game and at this exact point having a great time either holding their friend back or trying to muster enough strength to power through.  All of them at this point in time are succeeding, the outcome is unknown, but the time had is excellent.  That’s what Joia Blackberry Pomegranate & Ginger soda is.  It’s a fantastic combination of fun, flavor, ingredients, and style.  This is a truly wonderful beverage.

~A

Flathead Lake Huckleberry

/

Huckleberry Finn is a literary classic.  My mother used to have a very old edition of said book and in junior high I took it to school with me and tossed it in the bottom of my locker.  It sat there, books piling upon it, tearing the spine off painfully slow.  I brought it home and my mother was understandably angry.  Well, at the time I didn’t understand because it was just a book.  You could buy Huckleberry Finn at the store for $5. 

Twist could mess up the Flathead Lake mascot

This has nothing to do with the soda I’m about to drink, I just wanted to get that off my chest.  I still feel bad for ruining that book.  Flathead Lake Huckleberry (there’s the tie in) Soda probably isn’t going to be as good as the words Mark Twain penned.  If the taste equals his excellence in writing then I’ll shut down the website.  I seriously doubt that will happen though because Flathead Lake usually tastes off to me.  I like the story they tell, but the ending makes me not care if I hear it again.  There ingredients are an assortment of chemicals and it’s quite obvious when you take a sip.  Then again, I haven’t had their huckleberry.  For the record I’m YOUR huckleberry and I’m ready to review this.

A grape aroma surrounded by candy flies out of the bottle.  The scent is not solely grape, but that’s definitely the smell in charge.  The tart huckleberry taste can be felt within my nostrils as I take deeper and deeper whiffs.  Here’s hoping this above average smell isn’t a sugary mess in the taste department.

For having such a powerful aroma the taste is actually quite weak.  Flathead Lake Huckleberry is a watery grape soda with whispers of flavor from a similar fruit.  The carbonation is sharp and fizzy, but not enough to have me anxiously anticipating my next sip.  Even if this did have a more powerful taste I’m not sure it’d be enough to change the rating I’m already leaning towards.  It’s tasty enough, but even if you’re really into huckleberries I just don’t see this being your soda of choice.  The flavors are muted, confused, and seem thrown together for the sake of being “not just a grape soda”.  “This is huckleberry dang-it and people will notice us more because it’s not your standard flavor.”  This is true.  When I saw the flavor of this soda was huckleberry I became excited because it wasn’t a flavor I was used to.  I can count on one hand the number of huckleberry sodas I’ve had.  So Flathead Lake got me, but didn’t deliver on the flavor.  Add this to the fact that my mouth is coated with a thin layer of “huckleberry” syrup and it’s really not that enjoyable of an experience. 

No, it’s not a gross soda, but it’s not hard to make “not a gross soda”.  I’ve done it, but it’s nothing I’d bottle and sell.  Flathead Lake made one too, but instead of using huckleberry they used “artificial flavors” and called it a day.  Again, it’s not gross so I won’t tell you to beware.  It’s just so average.

~A

Reading Draft Blueberry Birch

/

Did you know that Reading Railroad on the Monopoly board is pronounced "Redding" Railroad?  You would have if you'd listened to this Popcast when it first came out, but now you're stuck here looking for a review of Reading Draft Blueberry Birch.  There is a review and it's going to be in your ears soon.

Popcast Episode 44 - Reading Draft Blueberry Birch

It's the blueberriest... not really

Jack Black's Dead Red Root Beer

/

For the third time available in 420 years, it’s Jack Black’s Dead Red Root Beer by Real Soda.  While I may not always enjoy Real Soda’s selection of beverages, I can’t say they don’t take great pride in their labeling.  According to the bottle, “once you’ve had jack black you’ll never go back!”  That is unless of course we’re speaking of the actor and you’ve just watched Gulliver’s Travels.  Dead Red Root Beer is one of the few caffeinated root beers I’ve seen to date.  It’s also sweetened with cane sugar, has a touch of Brazilian Guarana and good ol’ fashioned sodium benzoate!  Thankfully the color of this root beer is as advertised, red.  How embarrassing would it have been if the drink inside wasn’t what the label claimed?  Yarr well, I guess it’s time for a review. 

There is a pleasant rooty aroma that escapes the bottle upon opening.  Beneath the bottle cap it teaches how to properly toast a bottle of Jack Black.  I say “skull” and you’ll respond with “crossbones”.  Ready!

Twist is the third incarnation of the Dread Pirate Roberts

I’ll assume you said “crossbones” prior to this sentence as I did indeed say “skull”.  I didn’t type it because the bottle cap clearly states that I say it.  The root beer itself is quite nice.  There’s a bit of a peppery kick at the end of each sip I take that shook my tongue awake.  More creamy than sharp, Jack Black’s Dead Red Root Beer starts off as an above average beverage and only improves as you drink it due to the use of “natural and artificial flavors”.  I really wish I knew what they were, but whatever they are it’s working.  This has the sort of spice sensation that you’d find in eggnog and since we’re smack dab in the middle of the holiday season I appreciate it even more.

Carbonation levels are good as they don’t intrude on the consumption experience at all.  Yes they are noticeable, but they create a fun mouth feel that will have you looking forward to the next sip.  While I am praising Jack Black’s Dead Red Root Beer there’s nothing about it that makes me want to buy this in droves.  The ingredient list is indeed above average and that creates an above average taste… nothing more.  So I tip my hat to you Pirate Black and recommend the Carbo-Nation do the same.

~A(ye) Aye

 

 

Rocket Fizz Shirley Temple

/

I didn’t even know what a Shirley Temple was before meeting my wife.  In case you’re in the same boat as 24 year old Aaron, a Shirley Temple is what you get when you combine grenadine with Sprite.  It’s like a cherry limeade, but with a lighter flavoring.  They’re quite tasty and I recommend trying one if you haven’t before.  Rocket Fizz apparently agrees with my recommendation and created a bottled version they so cleverly called Rocket Fizz Shirley Temple.  Like other Rocket Fizz products this one is sweetened with pure cane sugar.  I’m so happy they went with the “pure” cane sugar and didn’t scrape the bottom of the barrel for the “tainted” cane sugar that we so often see soda companies’ use.  *Sigh* It’s just cane sugar folks.

Twist's expression is bewilderment 

Well, we’re not starting off on the best foot.  The aroma that wafts from the bottle reminds me quite a bit of nail polish remover.  Having never tried nail polish remover I can’t honestly tell you if it tastes like a Shirley Temple, but I’m going to go out on a limb and guess it doesn’t. (don’t drink nail polish remover, kids)  With that aroma now bouncing around my nostrils I suppose it’s time for me to give this bottle of Rocket Fizz Shirley Temple the ooooooooooold taste test.

This is not good, nor does it taste like a Shirley Temple.  Rocket Fizz Shirley Temple is a syrupy mess.  If children’s cold medicine had a cotton candy flavor it would taste like this.  The sweet, over the top flavor grabs onto my teeth and refuses to let go.  If there is a cherry sensation to be had it has mutated into some sort of quasi-cherry chemical mixture that my palate does not find to be very pleasant.  The carbonation level is light and fizzy, so at least that has been done well.  I was really expecting a completely different beverage here, but what I’m tasting makes it seem like this particular flavor was just thrown together in the hopes that it would taste good.  I’m honestly confused as to what happened because Rocket Fizz is usually pretty good about getting close to the flavor listed on the bottle.  Perhaps I’ll revisit this at another time to make sure I didn’t get a bad batch, but for now I can’t recommend trying this.

~A

 

Something Natural Black Cherry

/

I wanted to do a review today, but didn’t feel like drinking a sugary soda.  Thankfully a while back the guys at ThirstMonger sent me two flavors of Something Natural and I had only completed the review of one of them.  You may remember the last time I reviewed a beverage from Something Natural.  The flavor was strawberry peach and I was genuinely impressed with both their simplistic ingredient list and the way they used both sugar and stevia to sweeten.  Well today I have Something Natural Black Cherry and I truly believe this is going to hit the spot.

Twist ate a bird once...once.

A stronger than expected black cherry scent is easily detected exiting this beautiful bottle.  Something Natural really does do an excellent job in the presentation department.  Everything is simple yet elegant, making just looking at the bottle a treat.  I am a little nervous about black cherry sparkling water though.  Black cherry is known for being a very robust flavor and so many flavors made into sparkling waters get muted or left behind in the process.  Hopefully Something Natural knows what they’re doing in this regard.

My fear was met somewhere in the middle.  The flavor of black cherry is easily identified, but at the cost of tasting somewhat diet.  It’s my opinion that the black cherry flavor should never be confused with a diet taste.  I don’t care if you’re soda is Diet Black Cherry, removing the cherries natural rich flavor is a crime against the fruit. 

Something Natural Black Cherry doesn’t taste poorly at all, but I really think their flavor selection could be better.  In the previous review of strawberry peach they had two flavors in their arsenal that translated well into the light fizzy world of sparkling water.  Everything else about this beverage is located on an elevated notch.  It’s not quite the top notch, but it’s getting there.  The carbonation is fun and inviting.  As I’ve stated before, the bottle is pleasant.  The ingredient list is to be envied… it’s just that the most important aspect doesn’t work for me.  I wonder how Something Natural Watermelon would taste.  I’ve looked over their flavors and the second heaviest one seems to be Raspberry Keylime.  While I can’t speak for the taste of it, I wouldn’t have the initial doubts about that flavor that I did toward Black Cherry.  It’s just too strong of a fruit, flavor, or idea to hinder.

 All in all though it’s not a terrible drink; I could easily finish the bottle and my rating will reflect that.  If I were you I’d just grab another of their flavors prior to this one.

~A

Filbert's Strawberry

/

As many of you know I’m not the biggest fan of strawberry soda.  Far too often it’s just a conglomeration of sugar, chemicals, and bubbles.  So when I pulled Filbert’s Strawberry soda out of my fridge I probably voiced an audible sigh.  While the rich red coloring and the barrel full of soda on the label are nice, I’m just not in the mood for another sugar filled strawberry soda.  I was hoping that the inclusion of pure sugar in the ingredients would make me a little happier about reviewing this, but Filbert’s is made with “sugar and/or corn sweetner”.  That’s “sweetner” without the “e”.  Other such ingredients in this self-proclaimed “Old Time Quality” soda are as follows:  Carbonated water, citric acid, artificial flavor & color, and of course sodium benzoate.  No matter how good this soda is, they’ve already hit one of my nerves.  Don’t say your beverage has an “Old Time Quality” when your ingredient list is that sad.  At least the bottle cap is nice.

A strawberry scent so sweet it could be cotton candy oozes carefully out of the mouth of the bottle.  I am happy that the scent wasn’t so powerful I could smell it from a distance.  Hopefully this means it’s not quite as sugary as I perceived it to be.

Twist's middle name is Filbert.  No relation.

That is a rather odd strawberry soda.  Let me start off by saying that this isn’t a sugary mess.  Yes it’s sweet, but thankfully someone showed some restraint and pulled back what could have been Candyland.  Each sip doesn’t start off tasting like strawberry; in fact the first half of my sip doesn’t taste like much at all.  As soon as I agitate the liquid, either by swishing or swallowing, I’m welcomed with a smattering of strawberry that seems to identify a little bit with a strawberry-cream.  Even though there is a touch of cream flavoring in each gulp the end of my sips trail off into a chemical heap.  This artificial ending begins to even taste a little like a diet strawberry soda before turning into an unfortunate memory.

The fruit flavor of Filbert’s Strawberry is unmistakably recognized, but it’s not nearly as powerful as I thought it would be.  If they were to boost the flavor just a bit I think they could improve their product.  As it stands now, Filbert’s Strawberry is pleasantly different, but nothing I’d force people to drink. 

~A

Martian Poop Soda

/

Little ditty, ‘bout Alice and Diane.  Two nice women, buying sodas for this man.  I wish I could convert more lyrics of Mr. Cougar Mellencamp, but sadly that talent eludes me.  The two ladies in the single line that I did convert bought me the soda I’m about to consume, so thanks to them… I think. 

I’m about to drink Martian Poop.  Yup, that’s all there is to it.  I’m going to consume Martian Poop soda made by Rocket Fizz.  I’m almost happy to be drinking Martian Poop soda so that I’ll never have to write this article again.  This article in which I’ll have to type the words Martian Poop over and over again.  According to the label, Martians excrete a green substance that looks much like what would come out of a cartoon dog.  Thankfully the label also informs me (in tiny print) that this is a marionberry flavored soda.  Sadly, I have no idea what a marionberry is.  I know what a Marion Barry is, but not a marionberry.  TO THE INTERNET!  Ok, so the Marion is a type of blackberry, a blackberry with a very complex flavor at that.  So things may be looking up for this bottle of Martian Poop Soda, but I’m not holding my breath.

ALL THE EASTER CANDY

As fragrant as you might think a bottle of Martian Poop Soda may be, the fruit aroma that should be there is very mild and my nose struggles at pulling a scent through the opening of the bottle.  Perhaps Martian Poop (I really should have a counter going at this point) really shines in the way it tastes.

Well that’s kind of fun, then way too sweet, then fun again, then overly sweet.  Martian Poop Soda has a burst of foamy fizz that really lights up my mouth.  Then I got a quick peak at a somewhat vague blackberry fruit flavor.  Almost immediately after that blackberry flavor appears it vanishes and Martian Poop gives off the flavor of ALL THE EASTER CANDY (excluding chocolate).  It’s not obnoxiously sweet, but it’s the equivalent of some kid “not touching you, I’m not touching you, I’m not touching you” obnoxious.  You’re just waiting for him to touch you so he can face your rage.  After ALL THE EASTER CANDY flavor subsides, you’re left with the last breath of the carbonation as it tries to convince you of the fun you had on this short journey.  Hard as it might try, the carbonation’s last wish is unfulfilled.  Martian Poop Soda is just too loaded with sugar and nonsense to really be a good soda.  Is it fun?  Yes, to a point.  Are some kids going to love the fact that they’re drinking something called Martian Poop?  Yes, of course they are.  Am I done writing the words “Martian Poop” for a very long time?  Yes, yes I am.

~A

Avery's Monster Mucus

/

There aren’t many words that gross me out when I hear/read them.  I’d put the over-under at about 10 total that I’ve come across.  Sadly one of those words is in the title of today’s beverage.  Avery’s Monster Mucus… ugggh.. is in front of me and my throat will convulse every time I type the word mucus.  A couple of nice ladies, Alice & Diane, are the reason this repulsive bottle of liquid is in front of me; I must thank them both.  There’s a Simpson-esque slime man on the bottle that I’m supposing we’re to believe is the creator of this beverage.  I mean he is a monster and I can only assume he’s secreting mucus, so I’m thinking the story goes that I’m about to drink him.  Thankfully there’s also a proper flavor listing of Strawberry/Blue Raspberry on the label as well.  Oh, and the label uses one of my favorite made up words “SODAsgusting”.  That’s fantastic and I really have nothing else to say about it.

Twist is vomiting

The blue raspberry is clearly the boss around here as I can’t even tell that strawberry is in the mix due to the pungent aroma of the former.  With a second whiff I think I’m getting a touch of the tartness found in your friendly neighborhood strawberry.  Perhaps I should drink it to make further observations.

The first sip is a little underwhelming as both tastes seems to cancel each other out and create almost a non-taste.  Maybe my mouth just needs a few more sips to acclimate to this new environment.  As I work my way further down the bottle a noticeable blue raspberry taste shows up, but does not really impress me.  True to its weak scent the strawberry thought better than to appear today, letting the blue raspberry take the brunt of the criticism.  Each sip also brings the taste of grape to my lips as well.  This grape/raspberry flavoring coupled with the sharp carbonation creates a fairly average fruit flavored soda.  Yes it’s sweetened with cane sugar, but you always run the risk of having a very vague soda flavor when you start combining fruit.  It seems that’s what’s happened here with Avery’s Monster Mucus.  With such an “out-there” flavor name I was hoping for something that would be memorable.  Instead I got a flavor combination that while somewhat tasty will be forgotten in a matter of days.

~A

Strawberry Shasta

/

Here’s something odd, well at least I find it odd.  I’ve never had a Shasta soda that I can remember.  It’s Shasta!  How have I lived 31 years and never had one.  The mascot of one of our local universities is named Shasta, yet trying the drink has eluded me.  I’m not exactly sure how a mascot’s name and me trying a soda tie in together, but that doesn’t matter when it’s something as silly as this.  A nice lady I work with, whom I will name Good Morning, put me on a mission to find Strawberry Shasta.  Upon searching for it I found that the only places near me that sold Shasta were Brookshire Bros. grocery stores.  Now I’m not sure how it is where you live, but around here Brookshire Bros. are located in more rural areas so I rarely see one.  Well, Good Morning was driving past one by chance and made the U-turn to check it out.  Long story somewhat shorter, she brought me a Shasta Strawberry to review. 

Glancing at the ingredients I quickly see that Shasta Strawberry is chock full of chemical goodness.  I wasn’t expecting anything amazing here, so my thoughts have not been swayed.  This can art is keeping me in a positive mood.  It feels so fun and retro while keeping the can fresh and eye-catching.  Hopefully the flavor is on the fun side.

Twist smells of strawberries.

It smells of strawberry soda.  Ok, a little more detail is necessary.  It’s not quite as sugary smelling as I thought it would be, but the chemical mixture inside keeps it from smelling like fresh strawberries or any nonsense like that.

Wow, color me somewhat slightly impressed.  Shasta Strawberry, even with 36 grams of sugar in it, doesn’t taste a sugar sandwich made with sugar, marshmallows, sugar, sugar, and some strawberry syrup.  No, in fact this tastes merely like sugar, carbonated water, and strawberry syrup which oddly enough is a step in the right direction for strawberry sodas.  Enough blabbering, this tastes like the carbonated version of those little strawberry candies your grandmother bought back in 1985.  If you want to buy over five pounds of these candies or just want to know what I’m talking about click this fabulous link.  Anywho, these strawberry candies (and Strawberry Shasta) have the talent of chemically mimicking both the tart and sweet aspects of our friend the strawberry.  It is this feature that allows me to gently nudge Shasta Strawberry past its numerous counterparts.

~A

 

Hank's Root Beer

/

I’ve had a few of the Hank’s line of sodas before, but there’s just something about the phrase “Hank’s Root Beer” that works out really well.  Hank sounds like a root beer making fool.  Someone who probably started tinkering with it in his kitchen until friends requested it by name.  “Hey, have you tried any of Hank’s root beer?”  “I’m making a stop in Greenville on the way to Springtown.  Yeah, of course I’m stopping by Hank’s place.  His root beer is great.”  See?  All of that seems really natural.  I really wish that this was just called Hank’s Root Beer, but the full name is sadly “Genuine Hank’s Gourmet Philadelphia Recipe Root Beer”.  That’s far too complicated.  Thankfully though, the overly long name doesn’t change the fact that this is a root beer made with cane sugar.  Not “pure cane sugar” or “100% natural cane sugar”, just cane sugar.  At least they kept that simple.

Twist was the 2nd mayor of Philly.

The scent that comes off of the bottle upon opening shares the aroma qualities you’d find in a creamy root beer while simultaneously smelling like a root beer with some bite.  I’ve learned when these two properties share a home that the one that bites is usually the winner in the taste contest on your tongue.  Let’s find out if that’s the case.

Hank’s Root Beer does have a bit of a punch to it as I thought it would, but I was incorrect in thinking the aggressive side of the root beer would overshadow the creaminess.  There is a vanilla backdrop that hangs there during the entire act as both “Creamy” and “Bitey” act out their parts on stage.  Since “Bitey’s” mom dressed him in the same color as the backdrop, it’s “Creamy” that ultimately steals the show.  Which is the worse name for an actual child, Creamy or Bitey?  Anywho, the smooth sensation of vanilla coupled with the ultimately creamy mouth feel of this root beer really make it a beverage to try.  The sweetness level tastes like it’s on the higher end of the spectrum, but it’s nothing that makes your teeth feel like they’re going to rot out of your mouth if you drink a bottle or two.  I’m quite pleased with this bottle of Hank’s Root Beer.  It doesn’t do anything particularly amazing, but what it does do it does very well.

~A