Mr. Q. Cumber

I’ve never liked cucumbers unless they’d been modified to the point of pickles.  Recently (within the year) I got the chance to try a cucumber soda and I really enjoyed it.  I can’t remember the name, but it wasn’t nearly as delightful as Mr. Q. Cumber.  See what they did there?  Other than put this soda in an adorable bottle they gave it an adorable name.  Mr. Q. Cumber soda is an all natural sparkling cucumber beverage.  The ingredients are rather adorable as well:  Sparkling filtered water, cane sugar, citric acid, and natural cucumber flavor.  That’s it.  Water, sugar, citric acid (a natural preservative) and cucumber.  How can you beat that?  Now here is where we find out if ThirstMonger.com did me a solid by sending me this adorable bottle.

As it should, Mr. Q. Cumber smells exactly like a cucumber.  There isn’t a sugary mask that makes this seem like the drink will be cucumber candy.  It holds the aroma of a freshly cut cucumber… a word I’m getting tired of typing.  Now I see why it’s called M. Q. Cumber, they became annoyed with the word cucumber as well.  This very accurate scent frightens my taste buds a little bit as they think they’ll be eating an icky pre-pickle.  Oh well, 7 ounces isn’t too much to handle.

Haha.  The drink literally made me laugh out loud, or LLOL for those wanting to refresh their 90’s internet abbreviations.  Immediately my mouth is struck with the cucumber taste that I shouldn’t like, but I do.  If I were to let this just sit in my mouth it seems like the cucumber taste would never vanish.  Yet, as soon as I continue the ingestion process my mouth is filled with large fizzy bubbles that wash away the majority of the taste and leave a refreshing coolness in their wake.  I genuinely like this soda.  It’s simple, but works on many different levels.  With four ingredients they’ve turned a flavor I normally don’t like into a very interesting soda that I’d happily buy multiples of.  The smaller 7 ounce size is perfect as well.  I’m not sure I’d want a full 12 ounces of this, but 7 ounces makes you wish you had 12.  It uses the Far Side/Calvin and Hobbes logic of going out while you’re on top.  Make them want more without giving them more, that way they’re less likely to tire of you.  I don’t understand why I like this soda when it clearly shares the taste of a vegetable I do not like.  Folks always say that cucumbers are refreshing.  While I don’t agree with that statement I will say that Mr. Q. Cumber is as cool as the other side of the pillow.

~A

OH Q. CUMBER = CUCUMBER.  GENIUS!

Jack Black's Orange Stash

I always appreciate an orange soda that uses cane sugar and orange juice (concentrate most times).  I really appreciate it when the picture on the bottle uses a pirate theme and calls it an “Orange Stash”.  In case you’re the type not to read the title of these reviews, today’s article is on Jack Black’s Orange Stash.  If I’m to believe everything I read on this label, this is only the second time this particular flavor has been available.  I’m hoping that the fact it’s an orange “stash” and not an orange soda gives me a unique beverage to try, but something tells me I may be disappointed.  Let’s find out together… as a family.

Comedy abounds in the world of Jack Black sodas.  Under the bottle cap reads the following:  “Once you have Jack Black you won’t switch back”.  JOKES.  With that said the orange scent I was expecting to come off the top of the bottle isn’t there.  If I take a strong whiff I can begin to identify the scent as orange.  Hopefully the flavor won’t be as hard to find.

The orange in Jack Black’s Orange Stash isn’t as intense as I’d like it to be, but with that said it’s a tasty treat for my tongue.  It’s not as sugary to me as your standard orange soda and this allows for the orange flavor to be enjoyed for a longer period of time.  The carbonation isn’t overly strong either which once again accentuates the star of the show, Orange.  Even though I just stated the carbonation level isn’t that high it does still have an aspect of fun to it.  It’s a light fizzy sensation that runs quickly from here to there in my mouth.  All in all Jack Black’s Orange Stash is a pretty good beverage.  The orange flavoring, while not a perfect replica, is more natural tasting than your standard orange soda.  I’m sad to say, but the downside to this soda is that it’s kind of boring.  Sure it’s a tasty beverage, but there’s not much about it that will make me want to recall it if I’m ever asked for an orange soda recommendation.  If given the option I’d drink multiple bottles of this, but I wouldn’t really cry if I ran out.

~A

Twist is the Dread Pirate Roberts

Rocket Fizz Watermelon

Ok, so remember that entire week where I didn’t post a single review?  Forget it.  This week is a new week and at the very least you’re going to get a review about a watermelon flavored soda by Rocket Fizz.  As we all know (and if you don’t just fake it) Rocket Fizz is the soda that features fun flavors and is sweetened by cane sugar.  Another globally known fact is that I don’t like watermelon, but usually enjoy watermelon flavored items.  I’m not really sure how this concept works in the real world, but it does.  In case you forgot due to lack of reviews, here’s the part where I tell you it’s time to open this bottle and get to drinking.

If the pink coloring of the soda wasn’t enough to show me it’s supposed to taste like watermelon, the aroma certainly did.  Since I don’t particularly like the taste of watermelon, this beverage smells kind of gross to me.  Again, I’m not exactly sure why I tend to enjoy watermelon-esque things, especially when their scents are often off-putting.  Perhaps there is some kind of magic at work here.  Here’s to watermagicon!

Nope.  I’m not fond of this.  The taste is somewhat accurate as my memory reaches back as far as it can to pull up the file labeled “watermelon taste”.  Best I can tell though, this tastes more like a candy watermelon than the actual fruit.  So technically it’s a watermelon flavored soda that tastes like a watermelon flavored candy that tastes like watermelon.  I’m thinking my brain is just outright rejecting this idea entirely.  Each sip I take begins with a hopeful thought which is quickly run over by an overly sweet, syrupy, watermelon wave.  The carbonation can’t even save it as my brain can’t concentrate on the bubbles due to the disgusting flavor.  I’m going to stop the review here.  It’s a little premature, but you don’t need to listen to me berate a beverage because it’s based on a flavor I normally don’t like.  I don’t like watermelon and this soda tastes enough like it that I don’t like the soda.  If you like watermelon (a word I’ve now typed a ridiculous number of times) then maybe you’ll like Rocket Fizz Watermelon, or maybe you’ll think it’s too sweet… because it is.

~A

Twist is just happy it's not the devil's fruit known as cantaloupe

PJ's Crystal Beach Sparkling Loganberry

Anyone out there have any sort of idea of what a loganberry is?  I certainly don’t.  Thirstmonger sent me a bottle, of what looks to be a delicious, loganberry soda.  I didn’t really feel like doing any research on what loganberries are, thankfully the label sensed this and told me.  Apparently the loganberry was discovered in the 1880’s and is a cross between a red raspberry and a blackberry.  Zero things sound bad about that, so obviously I’m excited about trying this sugar sweetened beverage.  As an added bonus this bottle of (I guess including the name would be helpful) PJ’s Crystal Beach Sparkling Loganberry soda has a decent amount of Vitamin A, B6, B12, and E.  A quick glance over the ingredients also teaches me that actual loganberry juice is used in the making of this beverage as well.  Well color me intrigued.

The red raspberry is the dominating scent, although you can tell its sweetness is muted a little bit by the blackberry.  Frankly, Crystal Beach Sparkling Loganberry smells delightful and reminds me of a tasty sno-cone/snow cone/sno ball/shaved ice.

Crystal Beach Sparkling Loganberry is so effervescent that it’s still fizzing in the back of my throat and I love it.  The flavor isn’t quite as tart as I thought it would be.  Sweet seems to be the defining characteristic of the loganberry.  Granted this is a loganberry with 42 grams of sugar in it so I’m sure the taste is altered just a bit.  All the same, the fruity taste of red raspberry with hints of grape and blackberry has coated my mouth in an enjoyable curtain of flavor.  Remember when I said it smelled like a sno-cone?  I really hope you do because even the slowest readers should have read that sentence two minutes ago at most.  Crystal Beach Sparkling Loganberry tastes like sno-cone soda.  It’s like they took the juice at the bottom of a sno-cone and carbonated it to a fun level.  Like I said, this is quite the sweet soda so it may not be for everyone.  I would place this soda in the “treat” category instead of the “enjoy with food” category. 

Now of course there is some critique that must be present with the praise.  In the case of Crystal Beach Sparkling Loganberry we’ve already touched on one potential negative for some of you, the sweetness.  I won’t be addressing that any further.  The other issue I have is that the taste is a bit muddled.  “A loganberry is a muddle red raspberry and blackberry” you say?  Why yes it is, but this flavor does not seem to be made by nature.  A berry is crisp and tart which is what Crystal Beach Sparkling Loganberry is missing.  If this beverage were tart in the slightest I’d drink it until I died, but instead of being perfect it’s merely tasty.  See, it’s not that bad of a problem.  It just kept it from being outstanding.

All in all, Crystal Beach Sparkling Loganberry is a very fun soda to drink.  The variety in the fruit flavor, the insane carbonation, and the delicious coating it leaves in your mouth are all things you should be looking forward to if you try it.

~A

Twist prefers the more intense Wolverineberry

Barton Springs Soda Company - Orange Cream Soda

I’m always pleased when my great state produces delicious products and even happier when those products happen to be soda.  Today I’m giving the city of Austin a chance with their Barton Springs Soda Company – Orange Cream Soda.  The label is simple, but nice to look at.  In fact it almost looks like they made it at home.  The color of the soda is a natural looking orange; not to be confused with the ridiculous orange color that sodas like this normally are.  If you end up wanting to make some Barton Springs Orange Soda for yourself at home here’s all you need:  carbonated water, sugar, natural flavors, citric acid, and a bunch of Benzosorbosucra-lates.  Ok, so the last ingredient is really an amalgamation of words listed.  Still, this is from Texas and I’m excited to see what my home has produced.

Even though “Orange Cream Soda” is listed as the flavor, the scent that reaches my nose is that of tangerine sans cream.  I’m really quite curious how creamy this beverage will actually be.  I suppose I could taste it.

Fortunately for all involved in this process the flavor is indeed orange and the creaminess does exist within the same realm of reality.  With my first sip a burst of orange flavor cascades along my tongue, waking up every taste-bud it rushes over.  The citrus taste seems stronger due to the carbonation involved, but is unmistakable nonetheless.  Now the cream that is promised on the label comes late to the game.  After the citrus rush begins to subside an almost artificial creaminess takes its place.  I won’t say that it tastes bad, but there’s something a little off about it.  In fact the beverage seems to weaken a bit with each sip I take.  The sugary sweetness of Barton Springs Orange Cream Soda begins to take over and ruin the party for both the orange flavoring and the cream finish.  The orange flavoring begins to be shoved in a corner behind big brother Sweetness, while the decent job Cream was performing has turned into an over the top mess.  Frighteningly enough, I’m only halfway through with the bottle before the sugar invasion began.  Sadly I’m going to surrender and stop drinking at this point.  Someone with a sweeter tooth than mine might enjoy this, but I’m out.

~A

The fact that the soda is orange and from Austin has Twist suspicious

Hiball Organic Energy Drink - Pomegranate Acai

While I’m sure I’ve had an organic energy drink, I honestly can’t remember the name of it.  If only there were drink review site that had a search function!  Hiball Organic Energy Drink – Pomegranate Acia sits in front of me in a rather classy looking can.  The Hiball logo is crisp and simple, making it a pleasure to look at.  If I examine this container a bit closer I see that Hiball Pomegranate Acai uses both organic caffeine and organic sugar in the creation of this beverage.  Just to add to this greatness is the fact that the organic sugar used is Fair Trade Certified.  Since it’s an energy drink Hiball Pomegranate Acai is also chock full of B Vitamins, and other ingredients like Guarana Extract, Ginseng Extract, and others.  Truthfully, my mind is a little perplexed in trying to figure out what this will taste like.  Will it be a fruity sensation or will the energy drink side take over like Mr. Hyde?  Let’s see if I can’t sniff this out.

The can opens without a lot of push, which makes me think the carbonation won’t be that strong.  An aroma of various berries, also known as berrious, makes its way to the opening of the can.  My knowledge is lacking when it comes to identifying pomegranate and acai, so I’m hesitant to tell you that this is what it smells like.  Perhaps a taste test in in order.

My initial reaction to Hiball Pomegranate Acai isn’t a positive one.  Each act in this play seems to be marred by the kid sitting behind me named “Bitter Billy”.  I take a sip and see the first act upon the stage.  A cool refreshing sensation skips across the stage and starts its monologue.  Bitter Billy flicks my ear and giggles.  Pomegranate and Acai walk out in what looks to be a pretty good ventriloquist act, but I can’t concentrate on it because Bitter Billy has started kicking my seat as hard as he can.  The final act shows all of the characters on stage for a rousing final number, I think I even see carbonation dressed as a tiny clown.  It doesn’t matter though because Bitter Billy has taken a lighter to my hair and I’m missing it all.  Hidden behind each outburst of Bitter Billy looks to be a fairly enjoyable energy drink, but I cannot see past this poorly behaved child.  I could finish this beverage if I wanted to, but I don’t.  Even if the crowd starts chanting for an encore I don’t care to be anywhere near that kid anymore.  All the organic ingredients, all of the B Vitamins, all of the class the label shows can’t compete with this one taste factor.  Sad really.

~A

Twist's sugar is always organic.

Maine Root Sarsaparilla

Well here we go again with a bottle of simple root beer… sorry, sarsaparilla.  It’s bold that a company would sell both a root beer and a sarsaparilla as many cannot tell the difference in taste between the two.  Apparently Maine Root is so bold as to do just this.  Both root beer and sarsaparilla are flavored with the sarsaparilla root, but root beer tends to be more complex in the additional flavors.  So that’s why I consider sarsaparilla soda (I’m getting really tired of typing out sarsaparilla) a “simple root beer”.  This beverage in front of me is all natural which already starts us off in the right direction as I prepare to huff it.

It does smell of root beer, but with a stronger birch aroma than you might find in its sudsy brother.  I’m curious to see if I’m right in assuming that it won’t be as creamy either.

It’s not super creamy, but the mouth feel is fantastic.  A tantalizing amount of fizz is present throughout the entire sip.  Bubbles quietly creep on to my tongue and increase in ferocity as the drink wears on.  The birch flavoring allows me to somewhat easily identify this as a sarsaparilla instead of a root beer.  I’m happy to see that some effort went into this soda and the word “sarsaparilla” wasn’t just stamped on the side for kicks.  A sweet caramel taste sticks to the tip of my tongue as each gulp is vanquished.  It’s this taste that is left in my memory each time I pause between sips.  Again I can’t overstate how exciting the bubbles feel.  Ok, so I can easily overstate how exciting the bubbles feel… and probably have, but really guys, c’mon, the BUBBLES! 

Sadly, as I continue to drink this soda the flavor begins to build upon itself in such a way that the original experiences are pushed to the back so that this new group of experiences can stand on the stage and scream.  The sweetness begins to compound upon itself, stealing the show from the caramel, carbonation, and birch.  All in all Maine Root Sarsaparilla is an above average soda, but all good things must come to an end… this one about three fourths of the way through the bottle.

~A

I always feel like a gold prospector when I say the word "sarsaparilla"

Faygo Original Red Pop

Red pop is a somewhat foreign concept to me.  I understand that it’s a big deal in other parts of the country, but here in Houston I’d be surprised to see it in a local grocery store.  Even though it makes perfect sense I find regional soda love very odd.  What shaped the history and tastes of that region?  Why does Maine love Moxie so much?  Why is red pop a northern thing?  Why is Cheerwine a Carolina thing?  I’m sure there’s a simple answer to all of those, probably mostly based on the origin of the product.  I still find it interesting.  I also find it interesting that red pop, or in this case Faygo Original Red Pop, is just strawberry soda.  Why not just call it strawberry soda?  I’ve had red pop once before, so my venture into this world isn’t completely unique.  I’m hoping that the cane sugar sweetened version of red pop will be even tastier.  Let’s find out, shall we?

The scent of Faygo Original Red Pop is somewhat muted and I must say I’m a bit shocked by this.  When I think of a strawberry soda, I think of an overly sweetened, cotton candy-esque beverage that sits on my tongue for hours after consumption.  This version of red pop, based on the smell at least, seems like it may be a bit tamer to the taste.

I was correct, this isn’t your standard sugary red liquid made to taste like candied strawberries.  Faygo Original Red Pop feels like an adult version of strawberry soda.  Let’s not pretend it’s not sweet, it most certainly is, but the flavor that accompanies said sweetness isn’t trying to impress you.  A well-defined strawberry flavor that leans towards candy a bit more than actual strawberries is the first experience my tongue runs into.  The carbonation gives my mouth a hybrid sensation of both fizzy and fluffy, keeping the experience fun the whole way through.  At the apex of the swig the middle of my tongue experiences a shock of sweetness that slowly vanishes becoming nothing more than a memory.  I don’t really even have time to figure out if that peak of sweetness was in fact too sweet for my taste buds.  Honestly, I don’t care.  I think influx of sugary taste is another reason the beverage stays fun.  If it all tasted like that it’d be overkill and I wouldn’t even try to finish the bottle.  Fortunately, this soda seems to pace itself as it’s being consumed.  Fun carbonation here, quick burst of sweetened strawberry flavor here, smooth mouth feel here… it works.

Faygo Original Red Pop is not strawberry soda and I’m happy to have figured that out, but it’s really hard to explain why it isn’t what it clearly states it is.  Let’s use geometry for example.  A square can both truthfully be called a square or a rectangle as it has four right angles.  No one is going to call see a square and call it a rectangle even though it would be the truth.  Faygo Original Red Pop is a strawberry soda, it’s also Red Pop.  Guess which one it deserves to be called.  I had a hard time rating this, but the more I think about it I realize that I would want more than 4 in my fridge.

~A

Twist is a green pop, but that's a story for another time

Hank's Orange Cream Soda

Without looking I can already tell you the last several sodas we’ve reviewed have all been root beer or cream soda based beverages.  I thought about bucking that trend today, but instead of shocking your brains too much I’ll ease out of the root beer/cream soda genre with a tall orange bottle of Hank’s Orange Cream Soda.  This fancy looking bottle contains a liquid that has two things going for it; the first is that it’s sweetened with cane sugar.  Secondly, Hank’s uses orange juice concentrate in the making of their orange cream soda… something I haven’t seen before.  I’m curious if this will be as smooth as other orange cream or “dreamsicle” sodas since actual orange juice is in play here.  Only in time will we find out. 

Either I’m getting weaker or these twist off caps are getting harder to remove.  Yeesh.  Hank’s OCS delivers in the scent department by giving my snout a tremendous amount of both orange and vanilla aroma.  The dogs wrestling behind me can’t even pry my attention away from this beverage.

Forget what that last guy said about this not being a smooth orange cream.  That last guy was crazy, as this is a very smooth soda.  There is an initial burn on the tip of my tongue created by the enclosed fizz, but quickly it disintegrates into a creamy citrus slide.  If someone were to ask me if I thought this had orange juice concentrate in it I’d probably say it didn’t.  The orange flavor doesn’t really attack your throat like it would in juice form.  Instead it appears in front of you wrapped up in just enough vanilla that you have a hard time figuring out if it’s the real thing or not.  The orange vanilla hug that happens in this bottle continues its embrace down my gullet.  The two flavors are inseparable and work in tandem throughout each sip. 

The finish of Hank’s OCS leaves something to be desired as it develops a somewhat “fake” taste near the end that only worsens until you take another swig, starting the experience back over again.  I’m a little weary of my final gulp seeing as I won’t have anything left to reset the taste.  Perhaps I’ll open this extra People Water I have lying around.  All in all Hank’s OCS is a tasty soda with some shortcomings here and there.  Shortcomings included this should still be in your fridge in multiples.

~A

Twist coined the word "gourmet"

JOIA Pineapple Coconut & Nutmeg

When ThirstMonger said this week’s beverage was going to be JOIA, I honestly had no idea what would be coming in the mail.  When I opened the box I found six oddly delightful flavored sodas that I honestly can’t wait to try.  Since my fridge is full of soda as it is, I took a chance and picked the best two sounding flavors that were to be chosen from when chilled.  Upon opening my ice box again Joia Pineapple Coconut & Nutmeg was the winner and I cannot wait to try it. 

JOIA lists itself as an all-natural soda which is very pleasing to both my eyes and my tongue.  Looking at the ingredient list I’m impressed even further as I see pure cane sugar, real pineapple juice concentrate, and natural flavors of pineapple, coconut, nutmeg, cocoa, etc.  There’s other ingredients that are equally natural that I’m leaving out, but these are the ones that I’ll be tasting so I figured them important enough to mention.  The JOIA bottle design is very tranquil and reminds me of something I might be handed on a beach vacationing somewhere.  I’m not big on beach vacations, but I am big on fancy tropical drinks… perhaps I was just given an easy way to induce enjoyment.  I picked JOIA Pineapple Coconut & Nutmeg because those three flavors just sound like that need to be together, like they’ve been buddies all along playing behind the school.  Hopefully my initial thoughts won’t lead me astray. 

A delightful aroma containing all three of the listed flavors oozes out of the mouth of the bottle.  It’s not an overpowering aroma, but it certainly isn’t playing around.  I suppose it’s time to follow the directions on the side of the bottle and “Drink Instinct”.

Just as I suspected the flavors act as if they are old chums, each complementing the other.  Pineapple comes in as the base, setting the stage for its friends.  Coconut comes out and tells a light joke to get everyone chuckling and nutmeg works the lights determining the mood of each sip.  If one were to be considered strongest of the three it would have to be pineapple, but nutmeg and coconut aren’t far behind.  The Nutmeg adds a somewhat bitter taste to each sip, but the undertone of sweet pineapple helps me forget it by the end of my swig.  The carbonation level of JOIA is a slight, sharp fizz that grazes all parts of my mouth.  It keeps my tongue interested and tells my hand to continue picking up the bottle.  I’m not hugely fond of pineapple sodas so some of my bias may show in the rating, but JOIA does a good job with the natural juices and flavors they have on their palette.  While I enjoyed JOIA Pineapple, Coconut, and Nutmeg I’m sure it won’t be my favorite of the JOIA brand.  I can’t wait to find out what that will be.

~A

Twist says "You'll enJOIA it." Then he cried tears of sorrow for such a pun.

Rocket Fizz Root Beer Float

In the infantile days of this site (I believe we were still on LiveJournal) we reviewed A&W Root Beer Float in a bottle.  I think the word that got tossed around a lot was “rancid” which left us a bit gun shy to try another Root Beer Float in a bottle.  Thankfully Rocket Fizz has such a beverage and since they rarely steer me wrong I have no worries about trying it.  Rocket Fizz Root Beer Float may not be the bees knees, but I can almost guarantee you that I won’t use the word “rancid” in its description.  Of course it’s sweetened with pure cane sugar, but after that the ingredients become a bit to chemical or vague (natural/artificial flavors) to really care enough to go into detail.  So my expectations are set carefully above “awful”… something tells me it will easily surpass them.

My nose has a hard time recognizing the “float” scent that should be coming out of the mouth of the bottle.  Of course this could easily be the result of a high level of grass pollen in the air that occasionally renders my nose useless.  I can smell a rich and sugary root beer flavor with something different in the background.  Hopefully the “ice cream” will arrive once I take a swig.

Well it’s a heck of a lot better than A&W’s version of the same flavor.  The root beer taste is burly and easily experienced, but the vanilla ice cream never shows up to the party… a different visitor must have stolen his invitation.  Roasted marshmallow is the secondary flavor in this soda and he’s quite brash about his presence.  You’d think that someone who was not invited to a shin did would show a bit of cowardice, but not R.M.  He kicked the door open, announced his arrival, spit on the floor, and kissed root beer’s sister.  It’s like he knows he doesn’t belong, but doesn’t care because he’s sure he’ll win you over… and he’s right.  I really did want to try a good root beer float soda, but with every sip of root beer and roasted marshmallow I care less and less that the ice cream taste is absent.  It’s an odd combination on virtual paper that works like gangbusters in my mouth.  Perhaps I should retool that last sentence, better not as then this sentence wouldn’t make any sense. 

Are there faults to Rocket Fizz Root Beer Float?  Well aside from the fact that it doesn’t exactly taste as the label states, yes there are.  The root beer flavor, while good, could be richer, creamier, just better in general for one.  A somewhat syrupy mouth feel is my last impression of the beverage.  I wouldn’t say it’s the velvet curtain I so often describe, but perhaps a sheer curtain used for fog effects.  All in all Rocket Fizz Root Beer Float is something out of the ordinary and I suggest you buy multiples to share.

~A

Twist is a Rocket Fizz Man, burning up his fuse up here alone.

Maine Root - Root Beer

The Maine Root brand has been great to us with all sorts of fantastic flavors, oddly enough though I’ve never tried their root beer.  That’s like going into Red Lobster and not trying their lobster…something I’ve also never tried.  Ok, so it’s like going to Whataburger and not getting a Whataburger.  I’d love to meet the person who’s done that… then shove a Whataburger down their throat.  Thankfully there will be no hamburgers force fed to anyone in today’s review, just good old fashioned root beer drinkin’.  Maine Root Root Beer is made up of carbonated pure water, Fair Trade Certified organic cane juice and spices.  That’s all it says on the bottle and I can’t wait to drink it. 

A very rooty aroma slithers out the top of the bottle.  From scent alone I would guess this will be more about strength of taste and less about being smooth and creamy.  I’ll only unlock this unsolvable riddle, wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in a bottle, once I drink it. 

Maine Root Root Beer is big on taste, but does not completely give up on being creamy.  Each sip I take has a flavor comparable to a root beer barrel, very sweet and full of delicious.  The carbonation begins as a sharp set of bubbles racing along the tip of my tongue, but by the end of the sip has transformed into a mixture of fizz and clouds.  A wintergreen taste peeks his head around the corner every once in a while, but it seem he’s too scared to really make a scene.  The aftertaste I’m left with is a pleasant one that mirrors the flavor of the beverage and not some terrible facsimile.  There aren’t many people out there wishing for an aftertaste that reminds them of what the soda would taste like through a sock and fortunately with Maine Root Root Beer you won’t know that “pleasure” unless you set that experiment up for yourself.

For all the good that goes into Maine Root products this is my least favorite of the bunch.  It’s still a good root beer that surpasses all the store brands, but other than the great ingredient list there’s nothing that really pushes it past “above average”.  You’ll be pleased you purchased a pack, but I doubt you’ll be hooked on the stuff.

~A

Twist is actually one of the spices used.

Sea Dog Root Beer

A dog whimpers from downstairs, unhappy that she has been put to bed for the night in her crate.  Another dog asks himself “why must I put up with this whining youngling?”  Yet another dog stares at me from beneath his fisherman’s cap.  His white fur poofing out in all directions much like that of a polar bear.  Two ropes lay behind his head creating a sort of skull and crossbones look, but the red tongue hanging out of his mouth removes any amount of fear I may have had.  The third dog is looking at me from a bottle of root beer, Sea Dog Root Beer to be exact.  If I was curious as to what “style” this root beer was made in that’s answered for me with the words “old style” beneath their canine mascot.  Sea Dog root beer is made with cane sugar, wintergreen oil, anise, vanilla, spices, herbs, etc.  All in all it’s a fairly impressive ingredients list.  The cat now waits with baited breath for me to consume the Sea Dog Root Beer.  Actually, I’m pretty sure she doesn’t care at all what I do just as long as her tailbone gets scritched and her supper dish gets filled.

A medium to mild root beer aroma escapes the mouth of the bottle.  Wintergreen is the first actor on the stage, but I can see the others peering from behind the curtain with vanilla looking particularly eager. 

Sea Dog Root Beer isn’t nearly as creamy as I thought it would be.  It has more bite (dog jokes avoided) than what you might find in your standard root beer.  The wintergreen is noticeable, as is normal when used in root beer, but does not overpower the taste to the point of disappointment.  I’m not finding the overall experience of Sea Dog to be as pleasant as I had hoped.  It’s not revolting by any means, but the way it sits on my tongue is almost crass.  The carbonation experience isn’t worth more than this sentence as it adds little to the root beer. It’s unapologetic in its lack of smoothness.  Much like the whining dog downstairs (who thankfully has fallen asleep) Sea Dog shows you that it knows how to do the tricks, but refuses to bow to your whim.  While I can appreciate a root beer with some spark I keep getting a taste in my mouth that reminds me of diet root beer and I know that’s not the case.  I’m not sure if it’s the anise giving off that dubious flavor, but this taste coupled with the fact that two of my friends just gave up on Doctor Who without even finishing the first episode have soured me from recommending that you buy Sea Dog Root Beer in multiples.  Ok, so the Doctor Who thing is an unrelated rant, but c’mon they’re missing out on so many great adventures.  Sea Dog Root Beer on the other hand has an above average ingredient list, yet only has an average taste.

~A

Yo ho ho and a bottle of something else.

Moxie Blue Cream

Moxie is the official state soft drink of Maine.  Why Maine is associating itself with a soda that tastes like carbonated tires is beyond me.  Fortunately for those of us who don’t appreciate Moxie for all it is there is another flavor of it available and that’s what I’ll be reviewing today.  Moxie Blue Cream is more than likely a somewhat bubble gum flavored cream soda.  The soda itself is a brilliant blue hue and the trademark man demanding that you “Drink Moxie” is still upon the label.  The ingredients are basically carbonated water, sugar, natural/artificial flavors, and blue.  I think it’s time we found out of those ingredients translate to a tasty soda.

Moxie Blue Cream’s aroma is much smoother than anticipated as it seems they may have gone heavy on the cream.  Hopefully the flavor will compare favorably to the scent, but we all know that my nose often lies to me.  Well maybe not “lies”, perhaps something gets lost in translation (I didn’t really like that movie).

Immediately I know that I prefer Moxie Blue Cream to regular old Moxie.  It’s an unbelievably smooth beverage that’s definitely built to be a cream soda.  The bubble gum flavor I anticipated is there, but on a much smaller scale that I could have predicted.  With my fifth sip in as many sentences I will now proclaim this to be a delicious blue cream soda.  As previously stated, Moxie Blue Cream is smooth… really smooth, close to butterscotch smooth.  I realize this is to be expected in the cream soda genre, but this is an exception.

Carbonation wise the bubbles are mostly staying out of my way.  They’re the background actors in a really good movie.  The scene would look odd without them, but you’re still not going to pay very close attention to what they’re doing.  The mouth feel I’m left with could be considered heavy by some, but on a scale of one to ten I’d place it at about a six.  Fortunately the aftertaste is pleasant as I’m noticing that it lingers for quite a while after each sip.  Other than being the best blue cream soda I’ve had and a really good cream soda in general there is nothing spectacular about Moxie Blue Cream that makes me want to have enough to last through the apocalypse.  You realize that’s why we made this site right?  The whole premise is so that you’ll have a quality selection of sodas in your bomb dungeon that you’re neighbors will be jealous of.  They’ll try to invade your house from miles around challenging the new genetic ant overlords that now walk freely along the surface.  Some rogue group out there will be hunting for Moxie Blue Cream by the pallet and you’ll be safe.  Why?  Because you read TheSodaJerks.net and they told you it was only worth buying a pack.  Oh, by the way…

~A

Twist is the one that made the label man "Drink Moxie"

Fentimans Victorian Lemonade

I’m feeling very kingly today.  My wife and I just got back from a baseball game where we were selected to participate in the StubHub Move of the Game.  From the cheap seats to two leather recliners in a much more posh section of the stadium.  There was even a television in front showing the game which oddly enough blocked half of the actual live game.  They didn’t really think that part through, but it was still cool to look at.  To top off my day on top I will be reviewing an appropriately named beverage, Fentimans Victorian Lemonade.  I just got through vacuuming the castle so I’m a bit thirstier than I normally am when I do a review.  Be sure and remember that as you read this knowing that it could be a little biased as I’m in need of refreshment. 

Fentimans Victorian Lemonade is fermented botanical lemon drink with ginger and herbal extracts… or so it says on the bottle.  It’s sweetened with cane sugar and the remainder of the ingredients listed are of equal quality.  Having reviewed Fentimans beverages before, I’ve come to expect a high quality soda.  I may not always agree with the flavor they present, but I only have respect for their process.  Now I shall doff the cap atop the bottle and begin my journey.

Oh, how I enjoy the dog printed on each bottle cap.  I’d love a Fentimans shirt with his picture on it.  That wasn’t a call for free merchandise, more like an out loud wish list.  Now that I’ve upended the bottle per the directions I place my good nostril (we all have one) near the opening.    While lemon is the first scent I recognize the ginger immediately makes it known that it will be a force to be reckoned with.  Here’s to great carbonated lemonade!

Fentimans Victorian Lemonade is liquid sour and I love it.  The real lemon juice used is unmistakable as it washes across the interior of my mouth.  As it visits each location (teeth, tongue, roof, etc) it lightly punishes them all with a burst of tart.  The ginger follows up said burst with a mild burn.  This burn isn’t quite as strong as I imagined it would be, but it’s still noticeable enough to be enjoyed.  The fermentation is very noticeable and may be a bit off putting to some.  Early in my journey as a soda reviewer I can tell you that I would have docked points for the flavor a fermented fruit brings to the table.  Now I can appreciate the taste of a somewhat fermented soda (it’s nonalcoholic by the way) and see that in some cases it really adds to the experience.  In this case the fermentation just allows Fentimans to differ even more from your standard lemon fare. 

Surprisingly, this lemonade is rather heavy in terms of mouth feel.  The juice and herbs used really weigh down the soda, but I’m not sure there’s any way around that issue without altering the flavor.  Sadly this heavy texture doesn’t allow the beverage to be all that refreshing.  Fortunately the carbonation is at just the right level to keep it from being completely stale in terms of thirst quenching.   

If you’re looking for a sugary lemon drink that your kids will love, this isn’t it.  Now, if you’re looking for a pleasantly complex lemonade that will sit with you for a while, you’ve found it.

~A

Twist helped Queen Victoria found Torchwood

Faygo Original Rock & Rye

Fun fact!  Well honestly it’s less fun and more fact.  We have never reviewed a Faygo beverage on the site.  Odd, huh?  So now that my fridge now has a smattering of Faygo products I figured it’d be a good time to try out a flavor that is a complete and total mystery to me, Faygo Original Rock & Rye.  The only “rock” slang I know is either ice or drug related so I’m pretty sure I’m way off on that one.  Rye is somewhat easily identified, but again not something I’ve ever experienced in a beverage.  The ingredient list doesn’t help much in clarifying the flavor either.  With a brief glance I learn that it’s sweetened with cane sugar and after that the ingredients just slide down a slope of chemical nonsense.  I must assume it is chemical nonsense because all they’ve allowed me to read is “artificial flavors”…oh and of course your friend and mine, potassium benzoate. 

Thankfully, beneath the name of the beverage the sentence “artificially flavored cream cola” is a road map for my brain, pointing me in the right direction.  I feel safe in calling this beverage burgundy in color and very appealing to the eye in terms of label art and overall appearance.  It’s a very classy looking bottle albeit simple.  Any wonders I have about the taste are easily ignored when I gaze at the container the soda resides in.  Smell time.

Faygo Original Rock & Rye is easily identified as a cream soda after a quick whiff.  There is also what some might consider a bubble gum aroma also present which turns me of a bit to the soda, but hopefully it won’t translate into the flavor.  It would be such a disappointment if this was just another bubble gum/cream soda.  Taste time.

I’m pleased to report that it’s not your standard bubble gum fare at all.  There is a cola flavor present in the early stages of my sip, but it vanishes quickly and transforms into something more akin to a red cream soda.  Throughout all of this a delightful artificial cherry taste can be enjoyed which will bring up zero similarities to cherry medicine.  It’s very well executed in my opinion. 

Now I’ve listed cola, cream, and cherry as players in this bottle of Faygo Original Rock & Rye, but to call this a cherry cream cola would be an absolute lie.  For one reason or another the flavors feel separated in the bottle which makes for a nice journey.  Dependable, recognizable cola greets you as you start your 2 second hike through your current sip.  He shows you the path you must take and points out the dangers ahead (Fire Tigers and the like).  Just as you’re feeling safe enough to travel on your own the cream gently shows you the exit.  As you approach the exit you look up and realize that cherry has been watching you all along.  You’re a little creeped out with that realization while simultaneously feeling a bit of joy.  The quick fizzing bubbles rush you out the door and you immediately want to see them all again. 

Unfortunately the end of your journey involves the dreaded velvety curtain of syrup that just coats your mouth to the point of wanting glass of water when it’s all said and done.  Faygo Original Rock and Rye isn’t a perfect beverage, but I have to appreciate the trip it takes me on with each sip.

~A

BONUS CONTENT FOR PAID MEMBERS ONLY...wait... we don't have paid members?  Oh well, here's some interesting info from Reader Jim.  Reader Jim, take it away.

Rock and rye pop was invented in Detroit by Anthony Wegener of A Wegener and Son Bottling works in 1885. Faygo did not invent the drink. The pop was reintroduced after the factory closed in the late 1950.s in 1973 in canned form. Under the approval of Mary Wegener the wife of the late Frank Wegener, whom was the son and former president of the company,. He passed in 1973. My family has cans from the Seventies with the label stating "WEGENER'S ORIGINAL 1885 ROCK AND RYE POP"

Twist will accept rye bread as currency

Death Valley Cola

Without looking for confirmation, I’m pretty sure we haven’t reviewed a cola in a long while.  Let me confirm that… ok so I reviewed Pepsi X less than a week ago, but that’s a cola with fruit in it.  The last pure cola we reviewed was back on March one.  Alright, let me start over.  It’s been a little over a month since a cola has been reviewed on this site.  Today’s selection sounded particularly tasty when I held it in my hand.  Death Valley Cola is what I’ll be consuming and the bottle says that it’s “A Taste of the Old West”.  The label includes a lone tumbleweed and a stagecoach drawn by 4 horses.  This illustration looks to be printed on a piece of parchment completing the “Old West” feel.  Seems pretty manly to me and since I just finished up moving a load of bricks this must be the right choice of beverage.

 The first ingredient is Indian Wells Artesian Spring Water followed by cane sugar.  These two ingredients delight me for a couple of reasons.  First off you need to have a good source of water for the basis of your soda.  Now I have no idea if the above listed source of water is any good, but it sounds good so they’re already in my brain.  Reason two I’m appreciative of those ingredients is that they just have “cane sugar” listed on the bottle.  Not, pure cane sure, untouched by human hands cane sugar, raw cane sugar… just cane sugar.  That’s all I need.  I don’t need the type of sugar fancied up.  If pure cane sugar is somehow different than cane sugar I’m sorry, but I honestly don’t think it is.  Smell time.

A mild cola scent quickly escapes the bottle.  In my opinion the aroma of Death Valley Cola should stay and fight, punching your nose with a fist tattooed with the word “COLA”.  Instead I get a rather weak cola smell.  Taste time.

While I haven’t been punched in the face I am happy to report that the taste is stronger than the scent.  Death Valley Cola has an interesting cola flavor backed up with what seems to be a caramel/root beer hybrid.  The last half of each sip seems to be populated by that hybrid flavor.  This doesn’t hurt the soda in any way; I feel it just softens the potential harshness that Death Valley Cola could wreak on the back of my throat.  Now I personally like a cola that makes me cringe a little with each sip.  Since Coke is the number one soda in the world I’d say that most enjoy the sharp sensation it brings.  Death Valley Cola is soft in comparison as the carbonation shows you the door to the rough sensation, but never opens it. 

Even though I feel that it could be a more complete cola I’m still happy with the overall experience it brings to the table.  It’s a robust beverage that doesn’t taste watery at all and the ingredients used are noticed though out.  There is not a heavy mouth feel to the aftertaste which can be attributed to the pure raw unfiltered cane sugar and the “Artesian Spring Water” keeps the taste clean.  Death Valley Cola is good stuff; it just doesn’t happen to fall into an elite group.

~A

Twist got into a gun fight once... ONCE!

Unfiltered Fresh Ginger: Ginger Ale by Bruce Cost – Pomegranate with Hibiscus

Ok, it has happened.  I am about to review the longest named soda I’ve ever seen.  Keep in mind at this point TheSodaJerks.net is home to nearly 500 reviews and this is by far the most obscenely long name we’ve come across.  Fresh Ginger: Ginger Ale by Bruce Cost – Pomegranate with Hibiscus is what’s in front of me and it will hence forth be called Bruce’s Pomegranate.  The first thing I noticed about Bruce’s Pomegranate is the amount of sediment sitting at the bottom of this bottle.  There are large chunks of something… like terrifyingly large chunks.  Some of them look are small dog treat sized and it’s frightening.  I’m now looking at the ingredients to see what this could be and I’m pleased to see it uses pure cane sugar as a sweetener.  It also seems to include brewed hibiscus with filtered water.  Maybe the large chunks are bits of hibiscus?  After consulting the website I’ve now learned that these large chunks are ginger and upending this bottle a few times should re-mix the formula I’m about to consume.  For the record this didn’t make me feel any better.  Smell time.

A floral yet lemon scent wafts out of the mouth of the bottle.  While the bird sizes pieces of ginger may still frighten me the aroma has calmed some of my nerves and pushes me to take a sip.  It does smell a bit like a cleaning solution, but since Bruce’s Pomegranate uses fresh lemon juice this can be excused.  Taste time.

That’s certainly the very definition of a natural ginger ale.  The burn hits the back of my throat almost immediately and I welcomed it.  What I can only assume is the pomegranate adds a slight twist on the normal ginger flavor with the smallest amounts of fruit sensation.  I’m not sure there are many flavors out there that could go toe to toe with this level of ginger and come out the victor.  I honestly have no idea what to look for in the way of hibiscus flavoring, but I can tell you the pomegranate is not alone.  There is a tiny friend of pom that rushes past on occasion adding a bitter aftertaste to every few sips. 

The carbonation levels are lower than you might think while still being noticeable to the overall experience.  Meanwhile the back of my throat has caught fire and here is where I realize that I’ve grown as a soda drinker.  When I started this site a natural ginger ale would scare me off with the level of pain it could cause to my mouth.  Now I appreciate a good burn although I would compare Bruce’s Pomegranate to more of a ginger beer due to the flame being set so high.  With the last few sips disappearing into my stomach what I think is the hibiscus flavor is making a push towards the front.

 I’ve started consuming most of the sediment and honestly I didn’t even notice I was doing it.  With a final gulp this ginger ale is finished.  While an all-natural ginger ale at heart the pomegranate/hibiscus combination added a little something to the drink overall.  Heck, even the lemon juice was present at times.  It may be a bit too harsh on the throat for some, but if you’re a fan of ginger ale at all then I recommend you pick this up. 

~A

Whenever we go out. The people always shout.  There goes Unfiltered Fresh Ginger: Ginger Ale by Bruce Cost- Pomegranate with Hibiscus... Dah dah dah dah, dah dah dah!

Sidral Mundet Manzana Verde

We love apple soda.  Apple soda is something we love.  With that said when we first proclaimed our love for apple soda it was suggested that we try Sidral Mundet because we’d love it.  We tried it and we did not love it.  In fact we told folks to steer clear of it.  “You should have had it in the glass bottle!” they said in reply.  While not reviewed on this site, Mike did try it in a glass bottle and formulated the same opinion.  Today is round three and it was given to us by Abel A.  Sidral Mundet Manzana Verde (Green Apple) is what sits in front of me, in a glass bottle nonetheless.  Of all the apple flavored sodas green is my favorite, no… my favourite.  That’s right I love it so much that I have to use the British spelling to convey said love.  The soda itself is a delightful mint green and is very appealing to the eye.  Being a product of Mexico it is of course sweetened with sugar and will more than likely require a bottle opener.  Smell time.

It did require said opener and upon removing the cap a blast of green apple aroma shot out of the bottle.  My faith is building that I may perhaps enjoy this beverage called Manzana Verde… by Sidral Mundet.  Taste time.

This is so much better than regular Sidral Mundet.  The apple flavor is stronger and not watered down.  I can decipher that it’s a green apple soda and not just an apple soda that’s green.  The carbonation is very light and hardly noticeable unless I swish it a bit.  Only after doing so do I notice a hint of bubble brushing against my cheeks.  The mouth feel throughout it was pleasant until I reached the end of my journey and found it to be a bit syrupy.  Even with this somewhat syrupy finale I would still recommend Sidral Mundet Manzana Verde as a drink to grab if you’re in need of some serious refreshment.  Overall I’m very pleased with this beverage and will ultimately recommend you purchase multiples.  Its strong points are color, taste, and carbonation with its only weak point being mouth feel.  Manzana Verde is a very nice entry into the genre of green apple sodas.  If I see it in a convenience store I’m sure I’ll pick one up for the journey ahead and suggest you should too.  Oooh, maybe with some Zesty Salsa Tortilla Combos!

~A

They're having a "green off".  Twist will win.

Cool Mountain Peach

Peach soda is usually a pleasant experience for me, but there’s just something about this bottle of Cool Mountain Peach that seems really, really generic.  The liquid inside is the appropriate color (if not a little on the pink side) and the label works with this scheme as well.  Keeping in line with the Real Soda bottling ways there is a message on the bottle that says “Chief Long Neck” which I can only assume is the “Native American name” of this particular bottle of Cool Mountain Peach.  Made with pure cane sugar, filtered water, and a host of nonsense this soda is very much a grab bag in terms of if I’ll like it or not.  Smell time.

While the scent does resemble that of a peach, when I placed it to the nose of our cat she backed away in an unsure manner.  Perhaps she could also smell the potentially over-sweetened aroma even my mere human nose discerned.  Taste time.

Like the old saying goes, “Trust the cat’s nose to know what’s best”.  Ok, so that’s not really a saying, but it still rings true in the scenario that just played out before me.  Cool Mountain Peach, a terrific name for a classic country song or an indie band, tastes of overly sweetened peach tasting chemicals.  Peach is already a dangerously sweet flavor so you must be careful when adding any additional sugars.  In this case it seems they went a few hairs in the wrong direction and created a beverage that would be better if the peach flavor held more of the stage.  Man, I use that “play” analogy a lot, but it works in so many aspects.

The carbonation level is fine, but it doesn’t really add anything extra to the beverage other than the typical fizz one might expect.  Overall Cool Mountain Peach is an average soda with way too sweet a taste for what could have been done.  I understand that sodas are typically sweet, but in this case it feels like they missed out on some potentially great flavors by making it so.

~A

Cool Mountain Peach... more like Cool Mountain BLEACH!  That statement isn't true at all, it was just fun to type.