Fitz's Cardinal Cream

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I’ve professed my nostalgic love of red cream soda on the site before so I won’t really go into that this time.  Just know that nostalgic love is what influenced me to try Fitz’s Cardinal Cream.  At first I thought that they were being witty using cardinal instead of “red” in their title.  Looking at the bottle I see that Fitz’s is bottled in St. Louis, MO so I’m pretty sure that the location is playing a large part of why this is called “cardinal”.

Fitz’s uses cane sugar… sorry, All Natural Pure Cane Sugar, in their sweetening.  They also use both artificial and natural flavors for those who just can’t choose between the two.

Should there be a travel Twist or should I get another animal... perhaps a raptor or tiny hippo?

Popping off the top I immediately recognize the red cream soda scent.  A little like a bubble gum with an ominous kick to it.  My mind races back to the nostalgic moments I wrote about before, but will not write here because you need to read them for yourselves.  Everything shouldn’t be handed to you on a platter.

The first sip burns as it slinks down the ol’ watering hole.  The bubble gum taste is strong with this one, but a slight vanilla flavor appears at the end.  With the sweetness of the two flavors this drink teeters on becoming a sugary mess and some might even call it one.  Personally it’s more acceptable to me if someone in the cream soda is a sugary mess just because they are sweet by nature.

The carbonation in this is fantastic as I mentioned before.  It starts off smooth, but that final burn is wonderfully different.  It’s the ying to the yang of this soda.  Don’t misunderstand me though, this is not a complex soda.  In fact it’s incredibly simple which is why it works.  

For every upside though there is always some downsides.  The mouthfeel is a bit syrupy at times and there is the slightest of slight chemical aftertastes.  Those two things aside this is a pretty good drink and one I might pick up again.  It’s tasty, but it’s not special which is why it’s rated as it is.

~A

This was purchased at a Shell Gas Station

Jones M.F. Grape

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As I mentioned in a previous review, my step-sister went to a wedding expo and visited a Jones Soda booth.  The lady at the booth knew of the site and gave my sister three different sodas for me to review.  Unfortunately for me only one of the bottles had a label on it and the others were stark naked.  Today’s bottle is of the nude variety and I have no idea what it’s going to taste like.  A passer-by assumes that it will be a grape amalgamation… which is a fantastic name for a soda.

I really need a portable Twist

There’s no ingredient list so I guess all I can do is open it and see what I think this is.  For the record the original title of this article was “Blueish Purple Jones Soda”.  If the title has changed by the time you read this it means I think I know what the flavor is.

I think “Grape Amalgamation Man” was on to something as the aroma that jumps out at me is certainly that of a grape soda.  The primarily blue coloring kept my brain from going to the vine, so there’s my first surprise I guess.

The taste is almost identical to the scent.  A very sweet, yet somewhat tart, grape flavor easily pushes it’s way past my taste buds.  Since I now know what I believe to be the flavor I’m going to check out the Jones website to see if I’m correct...aaaand I can’t find it.  Back to the review, I guess.

The carbonation burn of this soda is wonderfully fun.  The way it tickles my lips and throat (as odd as that sounds) is somewhat rare among sodas.  Still though, with every sip I get grape.  It’s very similar to a DimeTapp grape, but I haven’t met many folks that dislike that flavor.  For those who think this means it tastes medicinal, you’d be wrong.  It’s better described as a punchy grape taste as opposed to candy grape or natural grape.

You know what I still can’t get over though?  The color.  Why is this blue… wait, let me hold it to to the light.  Ok, so it’s actually purple and everything is right with the world.  I still don’t know the actual flavor of the soda though, let me look again.

AHA!  Jones Grape is primarily purple where Jones M.F. Grape is primarily blue looking in the pictures!  I’m drinking Jones M.F. Grape and I don’t know the difference at all!  Wait, M.F. Grape has been retired?  I still think I’m drinking it though.  Final Answer!

~A  

My swell step sister gave this to me.

MTN Dew Dewshine

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Well I’m a few weeks behind the hype, but I finally have a bottle of Dewshine to review.  I’m not really sure what it is or what it’s supposed to taste like, but it’s a clear Mtn Dew product that resembles moon shine so of course I’m all in.  

Dewshine is made with real sugar!  To that I say thank goodness, because I didn’t feel like sweetening yet another beverage with my imagination.  The fact that it says “real sugar” and not “cane sugar” makes me believe they used something along the lines of beet sugar.  I don’t really care either way as it still tastes cleaner than corn syrup.

Pictured: Potential wrapped in disappointment

Emblazoned on the bottle is a label that looks as if it’s made of old paper, complete with tattered edges.  The Mtn Dew logo kind of takes away from the “olden times” feel the rest of the bottle gives off, but I suppose it needs to be on there somewhere.  

Let’s find out exactly what I’m getting into here.

After removing an amazing bottle cap, complete with iconic hill billy, a citrus aroma jumps up and punches me in the face.  It just misses smelling like a cleaning product and lands squarely into enticing my taste buds.

That’s not what I thought this was going to taste like at all.  Oddly enough the first thing I notice is the finish of the soda.  It finishes like a Sprite, having a bit of carbonation burn on the back end complete with a syrupy mouthfeel.  Since Sprite has one of my least favorite soda finishes I’m already a bit disappointed in the product.  Perhaps if I pay more attention to the first half of the sip I’ll find more to praise.

The initial taste I perceive is a sweetened lemon lime.  The sugar is heavy enough that it dulls the flavors of each of the citrus fruits.  I keep wanting to stop this review and say it tastes like a sweeter version of Sprite with less carbonation.  That doesn’t seem fair to the product though.  Actually, you know what.  If that’s what it tastes like then that’s what I’m saying.

Mtn Dew Dewshine tastes like a less carbonated, yet sweeter, version of Sprite.  It’s still a good drink, but the similarities to Sprite make me sad.  This is a special edition soda.  This is supposed to be something special yet all I can do is hang upon the fact that it reminds me of another product.  Such a shame.  Pick it up if you like Sprite.  Perhaps if I fill the bottle with my tears it’ll be better.

~A

This soda was given to my by Wrastlin’ Jawhit

Onli Lemon Watermelon

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I picked up this drink because it’s pink.  It’s a very tasty shade of pink that normally promises that it’ll be unique and delicious.  That said, I almost put it down when I read it was “Chef Inspired”.  What does that even mean?  Thankfully under “Chef Inspired” I read it was sparkling, all natural, and had some ginseng in it.  All natural fruit flavored beverages are usually pretty tasty, so I figured I might as well give it a go.

Ingredient wise Onli (GET IT?  ONLY?!) is full of carbonated triple filtered mountain water, natural cane sugar, natural flavors (boooo just tell me what they are), lemon juice concentrate, malic acid, panax ginseng extract, and finally fruit and vegetable juice for color.

See that sounds pretty good, right?  Fortunately it smells like lemon watermelon so at least it’s not a complete lie.  Color me hopeful for the flavor… perhaps I’d be pink.

Very nice!  Lemon tastes the lead in this dance, but watermelon is light on her feet as well.  The carbonation is robust and very much apart of the production.  Each sip is full of bubbles which results in a great mouthfeel.    

Flavor wise this tastes like the way I wish sparkling water did.  It’s not syrupy at all, I’d even go so far as to say it’s a bit dry.  Onli Lemon Watermelon would be a great beverage to pair with a host of things.  I’m not going to pretend to know which ones so excuse me if I don’t suggest anything.

This is also the kind of beverage that could make you seem like someone who enjoys “the finer” things in life.  Perhaps you put a pack in your fridge so you can bust one out during the big game and impress everyone in the room.  They won’t know what to think.  Just know that their stunned silence and eventual mocking of you means they like you.

Seriously though, this is a great soda for those who aren’t big on sugar, even though it has 22 grams.  It’s not overly sweet, its flavor is delightful and it’s all natural.  Pretty good list of positives if you ask me, and you did since you’re reading the review.

The only reason I’m not rating this higher is due to personal preference.  I prefer drinks with a stronger flavor and a little more sugar, but don’t let my love of sweet sway you from trying this out.

~A

This soda was purchased from an HEB grocery store.

Old Red Eye Root Beer

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As I’ve stated before, a quick way to make me excited about a soda is to give it a snazzy western theme.  Old Red Eye Root Beer (Since 1948 for those who care) does a pretty great job in western theming in the name alone.  The label looks like it would feel more at home as restaurant signage, but that’s fantastic in its own right.  

Just like the cowboys were, Old Red Eye is sweetened with cane sugar and include a dash of chemicals.  You’re correct in thinking that comparison to cowboys didn’t make any sense, however I’m betting you’ll forget about that by the end of the review.

That's not Twist in the background that's potential copyright infringement. I think I'm gonna reach out to the photographer now.

Smells like root beer.  I even had a random passer by smell the bottle and those were his exact words.  It does have a little hint of wintergreen to it, but it took a couple of huffs to sniff that one out.

Wow, that has quite a bit of wintergreen in it.  While a bit too powerful for my liking the strength of the wintergreen thankfully does not mask the actual root beer I set out to enjoy.  Each time I raise the bottle to my lips it’s like a punch in the mouth.  First with the wintergreen left and then with the root beer right.  A carbonated uppercut is what follows to try and knock me out and it probably could if the flavor was richer.  

Other than the wintergreen taste my only complain is that the flavor seems thin.  Please don’t take this to mean it’s not flavorful.  I’d compare it to a wall that needs a second coat of paint.  Sure the wall is painted and bright, but it could be so much richer and vibrant.

All in all (as I seem to type more and more at this point of the review) Old Red Eye Root Beer is serviceable and would be a decent grab if you found it at a gas station.

~A

This soda was purchased at a Shell Gasoline Station

OH WAIT THERE'S TOTALLY A STORY ABOUT A BULL ON THE LABEL!

"Legend has it, there was a craggy old bull named Red Eye - with a glint and a gnarly attitude, he could only be coaxed from his pen to do his daily duties when a brave soul would pop open a bottle of his favorite root beer, pour it in his tin bowl, then run like heck before being stomped.  Red Eye preferred his root beer frosty cold."

Ok, there you have it.  I couldn't finish the review without including the story.

Howdy Cherry Jubilee

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I really wish there were more flavors of Howdy soda.  It’s such a friendly word that means so very much to me.  Well today’s version of Howdy sounds even friendlier because it’s flavor is Cherry Jubilee.  How positive of a name is that?!  Howdy Cherry Jubilee.  Can you say that and be angry?  The answer is no, no you can’t.

I really need a travel Twist. Any ideas?

Howdy Cherry Jubilee is a bright red soda with a mauve and pink label.  The colors used here dance well together and are really enticing to the eye.  As well as being attractive Howdy Cherry Jubilee is sweetened with cane sugar and includes a small handful of natural and artificial ingredients to make up the rest.

Wow, that smells like cherries grenadine.  Quite the powerful scent at that, it invites quick consumption with its aroma.  Who am I to turn down such a polite invitation?

Wow, it tastes like liquid maraschino cherries.  At least with the first few sips the mouthfeel is relatively clean and doesn’t have a syrupy taste at all.  Howdy Cherry Jubilee is a very sweet soda, but does a great job at walking on the correct side of the “too sweet” line.  The carbonation gives a nice quick burn with each sip adding another layer of enjoyment.

About halfway down the bottle I’m still enjoying it and all of the initial experiences are holding true.  Sometimes you want a soda’s drinking experience to alter a little so it doesn’t build on itself.  In the case of Howdy Cherry Jubilee the flavor doesn’t stack so the consistency is wanted.

As I do in many of my reviews I’m going to go ahead and suggest you drink this one for dessert.  This is a fantastic soda and one I would recommend to most anyone out there.  Perhaps the best cherry soda I’ve had to date... at the very least it’s a top three.  The cherry flavor is candied as stated before, but if you’re not looking for a genuine cherry taste you should have no issue.  

Even if you don’t find any of my writings to be convincing, how can you resist buying a bottle of something named Howdy Cherry Jubilee?

~A

I bought this at an HEB grocery store

Boots Beverages The Ultimate Caramel Cola

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I’ve done my fair share of Boots reviews and today’s may be the best named.  The Ultimate Caramel Cola is what they’ve called it and that’s quite the title to give any soda.  They’ve basically proclaimed that this is the ultimate caramel cola and I’m here to judge the accuracy of their claim.

As with all Boots Beverages this one is sweetened with cane sugar and includes a couple of chemicals to spice things up.  It also has another story about the “Boots” family on the side which I will convey to you now.

So professional looking

“Boots” Kristen

“Boots” continued his father’s pursuit of the american dream in pioneering Texas.  A country boy rich in colorful, childhood memories, “Boots” sold his top quality beverages with a genuine smile and a meaningful hand shake.  He steered the family soda bottling business into what is now Kristen Distributing Company, never while losing sight of who he was, where he’d come from and the seemingly little things in life.  Everyone loved Boots - and his host of beverages!  We honor him by revisiting those days gone by.

So there you have it.  Our ceremonial trip down memory lane.  Now it’s time for our ceremonial review.

There’s less of a caramel scent than I thought there would be.  What my nose can identify seems quite nice though.  Perhaps the bottle is keeping the taste a secret so that I might be surprised when I try it.

Taste wise it works pretty well, but it’s definitely favors the caramel more than it does the cola.  This causes the flavor to be sweeter and mutes any “bite” the soda would have without the added caramel.  

Brownie Caramel Cream is probably my favorite soda in this genre due to its rich taste and mouthfeel.  Boots stacks up reasonably well, but overall is the lesser of the two sodas.  This is due to a slight chemical taste that I’ve been experiencing during the front and back end of each swig.  It’s not something that I would warn anyone about, that is if I wasn’t reviewing it, but it’s a weak point for the soda.  This coupled with the lack of cola taste keep “The Ultimate Caramel Cola” from being something really special.  

I like the Boots company.  They’re a Texas soda making company and that’s a special thing to me.  Sadly a lot of their sodas are just lacking one or two things to really stand out from the crowd.  This most recent entry is no different.

~A

I purchased this at an HEB grocery store


Jones Berry Lemonade

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I like Jones Soda, they’re good people.  My step-sister was at a wedding expo and there was a Jones Soda booth.  Being of sound mind and body they went to try some soda samples.  Since my step-sister is a wonderful person she began bragging on the website, the very one you’re reading now.  Well the Jones Soda rep knew about it already, because everyone in this story is awesome, and she gave my step-sister some sodas for me to review.  One of them has a label and it’s label says Jones Berry Lemonade Soda.  The other two are naked so figuring them out might be a bit of a challenge.  

Thankfully, today’s review is the clearly marked Jones Berry Lemonade… so let’s get on with that.

Twist was absent the day this picture was taken.

Well for one thing it’s blue.  It’s so very blue.  If anti-freeze was blue it’d look like this.  Secondly, Jones uses can sugar in their sweetening.  I’m expecting a very fruity, very sugary, very flavorful beverage.  Let’s see if I’m right.

This blue, blue soda smells a bit like cotton candy.  The scent is heavily laced with sugar, so much so that I’m a little worried this might be too sweet.  Of course “too sweet” is a subjective term so take it for what you will.

This just in!  Jones Berry Lemonade Soda is NOT too sweet, I repeat it is NOT too sweet.  In fact it’s got a pretty good level of sugar.  It’s almost like they make sodas for a living.  As far as the taste goes I’m quite happy with it.  The lemonade shines through almost as vibrantly as the blue color.  This thing is so blue anyone who walks past me gets sad and starts playing harmonica.  Anywho, the lemonade is a great partner to the “berry” flavor.  It’s almost like a defibrillator is being used on my tongue.  

The closest real world item I can compare this to is liquid blue SweetTarts.  It’s not raspberry flavor per say, but the taste is close enough that I feel comfortable comparing the two.  All in all this is a really fun soda to drink.  It’s got a really exciting and fun taste that differentiates well from other berry or lemon based sodas.  It’s not the most refreshing soda out there, but I’d put this in the “dessert soda” category so I’m not all that concerned with refreshment.

So there you have it.  Jones Berry Lemonade soda is definitely worth picking up.  It’s got a great mouth feel, flavor, and experience.  It’s a little syrupy towards the end, but nothing that should scare you away.

~A

A nice lady at a wedding expo gave this to my step-sister who in turn gave this to me

Boots Beverages Picture Show Red Hot Soda

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We’re back in Bellville, TX (not literally) reviewing another bottle of Boot Beverages.  Today’s flavor is  identified as Picture Show Red Hot Soda.  I can only assume the “Picture Show” portion of this title helps insinuate that we’re talking about Red Hots the candy like you would find at a moving picture show.  I applaud Boots for their creative effort on this one and truey hope it delivers.

I think Twist and Deedie would get along just fine.

You know who else hopes this delivers?  Deedie Kristen.  Deedie is the face of this particular flavor of Boots and her story goes like this:

Deedie was the official emergency office worker (as in IRS visits).  She was flattered when she was told this one suited her to a T.  Try it for inspiration!  An never underestimate the value of flattery.

Well, I’m quite unsure what a large portion of that meant. Although Deedie seems like a pretty great person if she’s got a Red Hot soda tied to her name.  Time to open up the bottle and see what we got.

There is a cinnamon scent, but it’s a faint one.  I wanted this to punch me square in the nose and give me some trepidation to try it.  Instead I’m greeted with a weaker aroma that has me a little worried.  Cinnamon soda is a rarity and should be treated as such.  Hopefully the upcoming flavor will kick my taste buds for doubting.

I’m happy to say that there is a bit of a burn on the back end of my first sip.  The flavor also does a pretty good job of tasting like the candy coating you’d find on a Red Hot or Atomic Fireball.  That said I’d be curious what my mom would think of this as she’s a huge fan of both treats listed.

Carbonation wise Boots Beverages Picture Show Red Hot Soda is on the lower side.  This works out perfectly well for the soda because I believe your burn should come from the flavor with little assistance from the bubbles themselves.  

All in all, Boots Beverages did solid job on creating liquid cinnamon candy.  Just because I’m a Jerk I do wish this was a little stronger in all areas, but I think the message comes across clear enough as is.  It’s the difference of saying “Hi” to the guy next to you or yelling “Howdy!” to a room full of folks.  Same message, different delivery.

~A

I purchased this at an HEB grocery store

Nature's Pure Organic Cola

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Last time I reviewed a Nature’s Pure product I lamented that it cost me around $6.50 for a four pack.  Well a couple week’s later and they’re on sale for $4.50, a much more reasonable price.  For those jerks that only read this site for the ONE soda review you need in a pinch, Nature’s Pure makes organic sodas.  For those of you who read this each time a review is posted you already knew that… also I’d like to shake your hand.

The radiating excellence is all that keeps Twist that far away.

In the same awesome tiny (8oz) glass bottle as before, Nature’s Pure Organic Cola’s label theme is red.  Has Coke done such a good job that we now associate cola with red or did Nature’s Pure just feel that red best represented their cola.  The world may never know, although I’m pretty sure it’s the former.

A healthy cola aroma or colaroma lifts itself out of the mouth of the bottle.  It’s a strong enough scent that I feel ok saying the taste should be “good” at the very least.  Perhaps I should fact check myself now.

That’s a tasty little drink.  Cola is unmistakably the taste that hits my tongue and makes me smirk a bit.  I’m not sure why they don’t have “Have a Nature’s Pure Organic Cola and a Smirk” as their slogan because it would be perfect.  

The carbonation levels are perfect.  It’s just a tingle of sharp carbonation.  If Coke has a “bite” then Nature’s Pure Organic Cola is like a kitten stretching and putting it’s claws into your thigh accidentally.  Now, kitten nails embedded in flesh may now sound tasty… but it is.

Visiting the taste once again I’m pleased with how sweet it is and their use of spices.  This soda actually feels like a treat, but doesn’t leave any syrupy aftertastes or gross mouthfeel its competitors might.  The spices (which you can taste better near the bottom of the bottle) give this a somewhat unique strength.  On top of all that it’s a fairly clean cola in terms of aftertaste, leaving only it’s original flavor behind.

Overall Nature’s Pure Organic Cola is a strong contender in the cola category and it’s organic to boot.  Even if I had bought this at $6.50 a pack I’d have felt like it was worth it.  Find it, try it, enjoy it.

~A

This soda was purchased at an HEB grocery store

thesodajerk_SK08aA02a.png

A “Twist’s Choice” Recipient

Nature’s Pure Organic French Vanilla Cola

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They got me.  They got me with their stupid fancy labeling and their tiny glass bottles and their high price.  $6.55 got me four 8oz bottles of Nature’s Pure Organic French Vanilla Cola.  If that’s not the most I’ve paid per ounce it’s really dang close.  Sitting in it’s tiny ornate glass bottle with a purple label slapped on it.  A friendly, yet shy, looking lady wearing a white gown with a purple sash stands off to the side.  I can’t believe the packaging worked on me!  

Twist is in love with the lady on the bottle's flowers

That said this is a 100% All Natural Sparkling Soda and organic as well, per the bottle.  Looking at the ingredient they are correct.  It even has my favorite natural ingredient “Natural Flavors”.  Just say what they are.  If you have nothing to hide don’t hide it.  Sigh.  I should probably open this tiny bottle now.

This smells faintly of vanilla cookies and cola.  I’m not really sure where I’m getting essence of cookie, but if the flavor is strong enough this could be worth the money I paid.  

That’s unusual and pretty dang good to boot.  They seemed to have nailed the French Vanilla aspects of this cola.  It doesn’t have an overly creamy in texture or taste.  Cola is definitely the headliner of this soda.  If you saw this play you’d go home and tell your friends “Yeah, cola was good… just like we thought he would be, but French Vanilla.  French Vanilla is GOING places.  I need to look him up on IMDB and see what else he’s done.”

After I looked up French Vanilla on IMDB and quickly reminded myself that French Stewart was a part of my life at some point, I took another sip.

The play I just watched, those two actors aren’t friends.  They’re battling for the audience’s attention the entire time.  Cola comes out first and you’re happy to see him because he’s familiar.  French Vanilla immediately appears after and from that point on you don’t know where to divert your attention.  The two flavors don’t really play nicely together, but the show is entertaining none the less.  

As an aside, I believe the French Vanilla taste is reminding me a bit of coffee in each drink I take.  It’s causing just the slightest bit of bitterness to it.  Overall an odd sensation although part of me is just fine with it.

All in all I’m happy I took the chance on Nature’s Pure.  It’s a unique take on vanilla cola’s the bottle really is quite pleasant.  The only critique I have is that I wish the taste was a bit more powerful.  I want either the cola or the vanilla to resonate more instead of constantly battling vying for my opinion.

~A

Guayaki Brand Yerba Mate Sparkling Classic Gold

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Introducing the winner of the “Put a Bunch of Words Together to Make a Soda Name” title… Guayki Brand Yerba Mate Sparkling Classic Gold!  With your victory you’ll be taken on a one way trip down someone’s gullet and then who knows what mysteries await you.  

Twist, you can't enter the contest because you work for the company.

On this exciting adventure you’ll be able to take as many friends as you wish.  So don’t be shy, invite all your buddies like sparkling filtered water, cane sugar, organic yerba mate extract, organic natural spice flavor, and everyone's favorite… citric acid.  

Being an all natural fair trade soda you are subject to inspection prior to your departure.  Your spice filled aroma will be quantified and enjoyed by not one, but TWO nostrils.  Once your scent has been inhaled in the least creepy manner possible you will begin your journey.

Take your surprisingly watery flavor past the tongue and teeth.  So many famous foods have come this way before you.  Remember that hotdog from 3 years ago, he once walked these very halls.  Since you have such a small amount of carbonation you should have no issue getting him on the tour as well.  Actually now that we've formally met I’m becoming less likely to take in all of your party.  How about you just peek around the corner because your whole group won’t be partaking anymore.  

Sorry for the mixup, but you see when we look at your party and so very uncreepily smelled you we thought you were someone else.  We thought you’d have a robust flavor as so many other yerba mate beverages do, but instead we got you.  Yes, you… don’t try to hide.  The one with the weak flavor, the diet-esque taste, and the limited amount of spice used.  Wait a second… are you regular Tea and Water stacked on top of each other in a trench coat?  Where did you get this spice?  Did you get this from your parents?!  Now you’re ineligible for sure!

Guards!

~A

This was purchased for me from World Market

Boots Beverages Coconut Cream Soda

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So the last time we met up with Boots they made a dewberry soda that I thought would taste a bit better if it were a dewberry cream soda.  Little did I know that their next soda that I would pull would be of the cream soda variety.  You probably think I remember what I put in my fridge, that’s where you’re terribly, terribly wrong.  So today we have a bottle of Coconut Cream Soda and I’ve gotta tell you I’m a little excited.  This sounds like a unique and tasty idea.

Much like the last bottle there’s a face on the bottle identified as “Aunt Katy”, this one looking more spectral than the last.  The story that coincides with Aunt Katy, written on the bottle, is as follows:

“Boots”, Katy’s little brother, rarely paid her as they struggled to keep the family business going.  To make ends meet, Katy doubled as an ice cream wholesaler.  Her nephew Mark loved the dreamsicles so much he ate up all the profits.  No matter.  They always delivered those small pleasures!

So there you have it.  Another look into the story of Boots.  Honestly, up to this point I thought it was called Boots Beverages because it was made in Texas and you know… cowboys and stuff.  I should have punctuated that last sentence better.  The soda wasn’t made in cowboys to my knowledge.  I’m just gonna open the bottle.

Twist is jealous of the sweet blue cap

A light coconut aroma lifts itself out of the bottle and begins to perk up as time passes by.  The scent only adds to my excitement for this beverage.  Coconut cream works so well as a pie, why shouldn’t it as a soda?  For the record I don’t expect this to taste like the pie at all.

Ok, initially I’m getting more cream taste than coconut, but it seems the aftertaste is heavier on the latter.  Each sip takes a similar path thus far.  It tastes like a cream soda right off the bat.  This familiar taste fades into the background as the coconut comes forward to bow to his parents.  Then he stands on the stage a little too long until it gets awkward.  

Yes the aftertaste lingers a bit longer than I’d like, but it has no cares for my likes and dislikes. It just do what an aftertaste do.  I now sit here long after the carbonation has fizzed way, long after I tasted the cream soda, long after I took a sip.  Still it lingers.  This kid is just frozen.  Staring into the audience unable to move.  Sure, we liked his performance, but we’re ready to go home and watch Doctor Who.  GET OFF THE STAGE!  He won’t and I dislike him more and more for it.

~A

This was purchased at an HEB grocery store.

Boots Beverages Dewberry Soda

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Video Review 3/17/2025. Original Written Review 3/26/2015

 

I tell people that my favorite dessert is blackberry cobbler with ice cream.  That’s a lie.  My favorite dessert is dewberry cobbler with ice cream.  I say blackberry because most people don’t know what a dewberry is.  They taste very similar to blackberries.  So much so that I probably couldn’t tell the difference if they were baked in a cobbler.  

Twist thought it was Boo Berry Soda. DIBS ON THE IDEA!

The reason I prefer dewberries is a sentimental one.  My family used to pick dewberries on the side of the road on occasion.  It was a very rare occasion, but it occurred at least three times in my life.  I’m pretty sure they were wild dewberries on no one in particular’s land, but we picked them just the same.  

So it made me especially happy to see a dewberry soda and then thrilled me even more to find it was made by Boots Beverages.  I’ve never even heard of Boots Beverages, but they hail from my home state of Texas, Bellville Texas to be exact.  The label is adorned with the face of a kid known as “Mark Kristen”.  There’s a story along with his name that I’ll relay to you now:

“Mark was 5 when sorting returned bottles… barefooted of course.  At 7, he ventured a tad from the family soda business.  He picked dewberries along the Santa Fe tracks and sold them on Hwy 36.  He gave his first $14 profit to Deedie so she could buy a poodle puppy.  Deedie later sold Mark her interest in KDC.  Mark suggests you be real sweet to your mother.”

Well that was fun.  I hope every Boots Beverages has a story.  I also hope these are delicious sodas because I want to like them so very much based on character alone.  They’re sweetened with sugar so it’s already off to a good start.

A powerful aroma easily glides its way out of the mouth of the bottle.  It’s a candy like dewberry scent, so I doubt we’re going for realism here.  That’s fine.  If you can make a delicious soda I don’t really care how you do it.

It’s sweet and a little tart.  The candy scent I took in translated almost exactly as a taste.  It’s very much dewberry with plenty of sugar.  Carbonation wise it holds small amounts of tightly packed bubbles.  They’re fierce when you feel them, but they back off fairly quickly.

I like the flavor quite a bit, but I really wish the tart sting of a dewberry had more of a presence.  That’s what I don’t really understand about raspberry, blackberry, and dewberry flavored drinks.  So often they have the sweet side taken care of, but they rarely hold the bite that keeps me coming back.

This is just fine though.  Perhaps since they removed the tart, like so many upstanding saloons before, they could add some cream.  Dewberry Cream Soda would be pretty dang good.  I’m not drinking that though.  I’m drinking a pretty good dewberry soda that relies a bit too heavily on the sugar.  Still a fun company though.

~A

This soda was purchased at an HEB grocery store.

Maine Root Pumpkin Pie Soda

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I had chips and salsa for dinner.  I’m an adult.  I can eat whatever I want, but I also have to pay a mortgage and taxes and keep a tiny human healthy and safe.  The only reason I didn’t eat donuts for dinner is because I was too lazy to go get donuts.  Isn’t that great!  I was too lazy to eat donuts for dinner so I had chips and salsa instead.  Now I’m going to have a Maine Root Pumpkin Pie Soda as a dessert to my chips and salsa dinner.  Adulthood.

So since this pumpkin pie soda is made by Maine Root you know it’s all natural and of course made with Fair Trade Certified organic cane juice and spices.  Dab the worry sweat off your brown and stick with me now as I open the bottle.

Peter Peter Pumpkin Drinker.

The ol’ sniffer is working better today after a week of antibiotics and Flonase brand Flonase.  When you need to eventually breathe, eventually try Flonase.  I’m not sure what my writing is doing, but I promise you’ll get a review out of this eventually.  

So, this soda does smell a little like pumpkin pie.  I don’t think I’d identify it as such if I didn’t know the flavor though.  It’s a faint smell to begin with and of course that makes me worry about the strength of the taste.  Perhaps I don't’ want a super strong pumpkin pie soda.  I’ve never had one so I guess I’m going to learn something about myself now.  

Tipping the bottle it dispenses three glugs worth of soda.  I bet I could tell this is pumpkin pie.  It’s not overly pumpkin pie tasting, but just enough to get the good parts.  Kind of like a pumpkin pie coverband.  It’ll never replace the original, but if it costs 80% less to go see them you might as well.  Heck I might buy a CD from them.

I’m enjoying the taste of this soda more than I thought I would.  The fizz level is pretty high, adding a bit of a burn with each sip.  The Fair Trade Certified spices taste as you would expect Fair Trade Certified spices to taste… spicy.  Seriously though, the spices do add a nice aftertaste to the beverage.  They keep my tongue guessing which is fun.

All in all it’s a rather sophisticated soda, but not a prima donna.  Not an overly sweet experience, but just enough to call it dessert if you wish.  Pumpkin pie lovers, or dare I even say, Sweet Potato Pie lovers should probably give this a go.  Surprisingly good.

~A

I purchased this at an HEB Grocery Store


Maine Root Mexicane Cola

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Ever have a sinus infection?  I have.  Maybe once a year or so… except this year.  This year is special and I’ve had three thus far.  It’s super neat.  I didn’t want to write a review today because I’m exhausted, but I figured it’d make me feel better if I just powered through it and got to writing.

Twist is taking it back wearing the cap.

The soda I’m going to take my antibiotics with today is Maine Root Mexicane Cola.  As you probably realized from the play on words this is Maine Root’s version of “Mexican Coke”, also known as Coke sweetened with cane sugar.  As with all Maine Root products it’s a fair trade product, so you can rest easy as night that you’ve done the right thing.  Time to open the bottle.

That’s huge.  Sorry, not the aroma or anything, but the pill I’m supposed to take.  It looks like a cartoon pill it’s so big.  It’s a horse pill as my family and many other families out there probably call them.  Well hopefully this Mexicane Cola will be the perfect pair to it.

Even with one good nostril I can tell the cola scent is quite strong.  This would have me believe I’m going to enjoy this beverage.  Aroma’s have lied to me in the past though.  I’m sure the good folks at Maine Root wouldn’t do that to me.  They make Fair Trade Certified beverages.  You can’t lie and do that at the same time.

First swig was pill free and while it does have a nice cola taste it wasn’t as powerful as I expected.  It’s a shame because if this flavor was increased it’d be pretty amazing.   That said, it’s still a very good cola and I won’t take anything away from it by complaining about the strength of the taste again.

Along with this very honest cola flavor a second sweetness appears and sits atop it’s brethren.  The cola is a good foundation to this new sugary taste and the sugary taste seems to be a good foundation to the spices within the beverage.  I do wish I could pick out the spices a bit better  They’re somewhat noticeable and it still tastes good so I’ll keep my complaints to a minimum and just save them for the rating.

All in all Maine Root Mexicane Cola is a very good cola.  It doesn’t have the punch of Coke, but it has an enjoyable taste all its own.  That said, this soda falls into the category of so close to being amazing.  It’s good, but a few tweaks here and there and this could be stellar.

~A

This soda was purchased at HEB

Lucky Club Cola

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Stuff tastes better if there’s a horseshoe on it.  I don’t know why, but it just does.  Perhaps it only tastes better in Texas or the Southwest region of America.  The science on it is unclear yet always wields a positive answer.  That said this bottle of Lucky Club Cola should be delicious according to science.  Emblazoned on the bottle is of course a horseshoe.  Within the bottle is a mixture of ingredients which involve pure cane sugar, some tasty caramel color, and mom’s favorite… gum arabic.  

The mouth of the bottle releases a robust cola scent that urges my mouth to water, but it’s not quite powerful enough to do so.  That said, it seems the aroma will partner with an above average soda at the very least.

Eh, it’s alright.  Perhaps I should stare at the horseshoe a little harder.  No it’s still fairly average even with gunfights and school marms crossing the unknown territory of my imagination.

I wouldn't know your soda from a Jersey Iguana

The first thing I notice is how carbonated this soda is.  Lucky Club Cola is quick to fizz up in your mouth and bites with equal fervor.  It’s a bite that I would associate with a stronger flavor, yet I’m greeted by the first cowboy in the western that succumbs to the villains bullet.  He thought he’d be sneaky and pop up from behind that barrel guns blazing, but then the movie would only be 30 minutes long.  Instead he’s shot in an instant, falling to the ground without so much as a whore to see him die.

Honestly it tastes more like a diet cola than anything.  If it were indeed a diet cola I’d say it was pretty good, but no such luck for Lucky Club Cola.   See what I did there?  So very disappointing.  My disappointment won’t show in the rating because it’s not disgusting.  It’s an average tasting beverage.  Sigh.

So just as quickly as it drifted into our lives Lucky Club Cola is going to drift out of it and be forgotten.  Before I go, let me offer this advice to soda makers.  A soda is a tool, Jerks; no better or no worse than any other tool:  an axe, a shovel or anything.  A soda is as good or bad as the folks making it.  Remember that.

~A

This was purchased at a Shell Gas Station

Minta Strawberry

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So earlier in the week I had a mint soda called Minta.  I was not kind to Minta, but I still wanted to give their strawberry variation a try.  Here are the ingredients to Minta Strawberry:  Carbonated water, natural sugar, natural flavors (gah, vague) citric acid, fruit and vegetable juice for color.  So it’s the same ingredients as before, but now with vegetable juice for color!  I’m sure the “natural flavors” were altered as well because they had to add the strawberry in somewhere.  “Natural flavors”... JUST TELL US WHAT THEY ARE IF YOU’RE SO PROUD OF IT!  

Remember when sodium benzoate was my rant?  “Natural flavors” is the new hotness.  “New hotness” is passe.  Anywho, let’s open this thing up.

So the scent is strawberry mint.  That makes me feel a little better about what I’m about to taste.  I mean it doesn’t smell as minty awful as the original flavor, so it can only be better.  Right?

Twist is crying crocodile tears... due to a transplant.

Slightly!  The powerful mint taste is still there, but thankfully strawberry has wrestled him to the ground.  Well, as much as you could wrestle an 800 pound gorilla to the ground.  Mint is still the dominate flavor, but you can clearly see strawberry hanging on as mint tries to throw him off.  Much to mint’s chagrin, strawberry keeps holding on and you keep getting glimpses of him as he’s twirled about.  

The carbonation levels work pretty well with the taste, but it’s still not enough to sell me on it.  Ultimately the mint flavor ruins the beverage for me.  I expected the strawberry to be light, but I wanted it to have a fighting chance.  To be fair though it’s Minta Strawberry, not Strawberria Mint.  

So here I sit with a half can of Minta Strawberry in front me.  I don’t really want to finish it, but I could if I had too.  Sure it tastes better than Minta, but I’m not sure it tastes so much better the rank will be any higher.  I guess I’m just not cut out to enjoy mint sodas for the time being...unless it was chocolate and mint.

~A

This soda was purchased at Sprouts using donations from readers like YOU!

Minta

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You know what takes up a lot of your soda reviewing time?  Life.  Well, the children portion of life seems to take up the majority of it… mine at least.  I’m sure once she can go down to the fridge and get me a soda it’ll be a bit easier to find the time, but right now we’re working on walking.  So bear with me if you would.

It's not easy being green...and being next to a can of Minta.

Now that we’ve gotten all of that out of the way it’s time to review a delicious can of mint soda.  Nothing about that sounds good at all to me as the last mint soda I had was a bit on the mouthwash side, I’m guessing this will be too.

Minta is a naturally flavored soda with the following ingredients:  Carbonated water, natural sugar, natural flavors (vague much?), and citric acid.  It sits in a precious little silver 10 ounce can adorned with mint leaves.  I’ve got to give it to them, it really does look refreshing.  Time to find out if I can judge this book by it’s cover.  

Smells like spearmint gum.  Finally I can live my dream and drink spearmint gum, said some weirdo no one talks to.  I’m being far too harsh on those that love this drink.  I think my time away has made me more Jerk than Soda.  Clearly there is a market for mint flavored sodas as Minta is doing just fine in the world without my love/hatred.  Who knows, perhaps I’ll come around and like it.

Nope.  No I won’t.  Not in the slightest. That’s even mintier than Stander.  That’s mintier than the mintiest gum.  I ate mint leaves as a child… loved them.  This is mintier than MINT LEAVES.  Why would anyone want liquid this?!  It’s hardly sweet at all and the carbonation is easily ignored due to the pungent mint flavoring.  

I’ll give them one thing, they definitely deliver on their mint flavored promise.  That said, I’ve maybe had four ounces of this and I think I’m done.  It’s a very cool beverage and every proponent of it is good, except for the flavor.  That’s a pretty big deal in the soda game.  As the saying I just made up goes, Flavor Sells.  Perhaps when I try Strawberry Minta I’ll be singing a different tune, but until then… no thank you.

~A

This soda was purchased at Sprouts Farmer’s Market thanks to a donation from readers like you!

Fluids Soda Co. Radiant Red

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Wanna play guess the flavor?  In front of me I have a bottle of red soda with a red bottle cap.  The brand is one I’ve never heard of; it’s called Fluids Soda Co.  Now the listed flavor is Radiant Red so you’d assume what “Radiant Red” would taste like should be somewhere on the label… nope.  Instead of a picture of cherries, strawberries, watermelon, or blood orange I get a picture of a transmission sitting in front of some checkered flags.  

"Twist" "hates" "it"

The label makes sure I know that it’s sweetened with “Pure Cane Sugar”, but as far as I know this is a transmission flavored soda that’s “Made in the USA”.  Perhaps it’s a generic “Red” soda.  Perhaps I’ll use “quotes” nine or “ten” more times while writing this review.  Either way I’m tired of this mystery.  Let’s see if my taste buds can become taste “detectives”.

Well the scent doesn’t help me at all.  I guess it’s cherry or strawberry… I think… possibly.  It’s such a faint aroma I honestly can’t tell.  Methinks the taste might not be as vague.

What in the world is this?  Ever find yourself melting down cherry cough drops and then adding equal parts carbonated water?  You do?  Well fantastic, you don’t have to do that anymore because Fluids Radiant Red exists on the market.

I don’t know if this is the worst “fruit” soda I’ve ever had, but the thought has crossed my mind enough that it needed to be typed.  Really the only redeeming value it has is that I’m not gagging on it and the carbonation levels are nice.  Other than that I’d stay far away from this.

So there you have it.  Fluids Soda Co. Radiant Red is terrible and I’m going to stop drinking it now.

~A

I bought this at a Shell Gas Station in Houston