Postobon Manzana

   If Pepto-Bismol was a soda it would look like this.  Dan “The Fan” W gave us this very pink can of Postobon, which is apparently an apple flavored soda.  Looking at the label shows that Postobon is a myriad of chemicals.  With that said, I do like apple flavored soda and I am one of the few people that likes Pepto-Bismol… so color me ready to drink.  While I’m not sure what color “ready” is, I’m pretty sure in this case it’s pink.

  This has no smell.  Wait, wait, I can faintly smell apples and now the odor is getting stronger.  It was like the apple smell was Nessie keeping her head underwater until she thought it was safe to come up, avoiding the stares of tourists.  Now as she emerges the apple smell gets stronger and stronger.   That would be so very awesome if the Loch Ness Monster smelled of apples.  Since I’ve now somehow tied another thing I like into this beverage I’d say it’s time to drink.

  That, my friends, is no apple soda.  This is some kind of cotton candy/apple hybrid.  Have you ever had apple cotton candy?  Of course you haven’t.  The only time you get the flavor of cotton candy and apples together is after a long day at the state fair… after one too many rides on the Zipper.  I did it again.  I incorporated my favorite carnival ride into this review.  I don’t really want to drink this anymore, it’s so sickly sweet.  It’s not so gross that I think no one will like it, I’m sure there will be people out there who disagree with me whole heartedly.  What I’m saying is that I’m done with Postobon and for some reason I have Bonnie Pink’s song Cotton Candy stuck in my head.

~A

Twist used to operate the Gravitron

Mega Man E-Tank

   I love Mega Man.  That’s not exactly a huge news Flash, Man.  He was there for some of the greatest moments of my childhood and now in my adultness.  If I had to rank video game characters he’d be one of the Top, Man.  With that said, I was very pleased when Carbo-Nation citizen “Ma Bla XL ‘Not the Spreadsheet’” handed me a can of Mega Man E-Tank to review.  Without missing a Beat, I grabbed it and knew what kind of review I’d be doing.  You can find this at Hot Topic for $2.99; I’m pretty sure it’s just a generic energy drink though.  I don’t know why they don’t stock higher quality drinks… it’s not that Hard, Man.  It doesn’t matter what I think though, I’m still not going to Rush through this review.  I’m going to drink it!  No Guts, Man, no glory!  This challenge shall be Met, and hopefully it won’t make me feel Wily and Crash, Man.  Alright, now that I’ve said my piece, let’s Rock and Roll!

   There, now I’ve cracked this open and exposed it to the Air, Man.  It smells like a generic energy drink, citrus, with a hint of chemical.  Alright, now that we’ve smelled it, it’s time to drink it.  C’mon you know the Drill, Man!

   Like I detected with my nose, this does have a citrus flavoring.  The two citrus flavors present seem to be lime and lemon.  It doesn’t taste like the lime and lemon flavoring you might find in a Sprite but with more of an initial punch; the flavor hits you pretty Quick, Man.  On the plus side Mega Man E-Tank does seem to have a sweeter finish than other energy drinks; it even has a pretty Light mouth feel.  Along with the sweetness, there is the sour twinge that you might get from licking something Metal, Man.  This is an easily downed beverage as it doesn’t have the nasty aftertaste many energy drinks might have.  I can’t tell yet if this will do anything, if it’ll shake my Spine, or if it’ll just give me the right amount of Spark, Man.

   So, even though Mega Man E-tank is nothing special, if you’re a fan of the Man in Blue go out and get this drink Proto, Man!  … um, I mean pronto!

~A

Twist cries at the site of Iceman... stupid disappearing blocks

Saranac Root Beer

   A citizen of the Carbo-Nation suggested a while back that we search out and try some Saranac Root Beer.  Well guess what, “Person reading the Saranac – Root Beer Review”, we got some!  The Saranac brewery (est. in 1888) is located in New York and, much like other beer breweries, they have a root beer for us non-alcohol drinkers.  This root beer sits in an unassuming bottle with a classy looking maroon and gold label.  Oddly enough it reminds me of the Cheers logo.  Sadly, after looking at the ingredients I see that this is both sweetened with high fructose corn syrup and includes sodium benzoate.  These are two chemicals no Soda Jerk wants to see; regardless, let’s open her up!

   It has a very nice root beery smell… to put a description on it I’d say it smells like a high end A&W root beer.  Now that the shortest part of the review is over: On to the consumption!

   This is a good root beer.  The end.  Done. 

   No, no, I’m only kidding.  There are plenty of words to follow.  It has the initial mouth feel of an IBC root beer but oddly enough it’s not quite as heavy.  The amount of carbonation attacks your tongue with every swallow in a quick but hard hitting fashion.  The finish is so quick that I’m not going to mention it… other than mentioning that I won’t mention it, that is.  This has more bite than any root beer I’ve had to date; it’s not smooth at all.  When I first saw this bottle I thought I’d be drinking a generic root beer that didn’t set itself apart from any other root beer in a brown bottle.  I’m happy to say that I was very wrong.  If you put this in a root beer line up I’d easily tell it apart from the others.  Wow, I can’t get over how harsh (in a good way) this attacks the back of my throat.  It’s like you fell asleep with your mouth open and there’s this guy who thinks he’s funny, right?  But in reality he’s just a guy you happened to sit next to on the first day of class and unfortunately for you, you accidentally laughed at one of his pointless jokes so now you’re “best buds”.  No matter how many times you tell him to buzz off he stays around making the same level of horrible joke... staring at you, waiting for you to laugh like you did the first time.  What an idiot…Oh yeah I was talking about something!  It’s like he dropped a pinch of pop-rocks onto your tonsils.  You’d be surprised at first, but it’d be tasty enough that you’d repeat his stupid prank, placing more pop-rocks onto your tonsils, fueling his fire… making him stronger… never being rid of the constant staring… the staring.

~A

(Note:  This beverage was provided to us by the Saranac Brewery)

Faux Fact:  Iguana's can't feel pain when it's caused by root beer.

Fitz's Orange Pop

   Dan “the Fan” W gave me this bottle of Fitz’s Orange Pop with the disclaimer that this was “the worst orange soda he’d ever had”.  The ingredients indicate that it uses cane sugar, and filtered water… so maybe Dan is exaggerating a bit.  On the other hand it also has your standard soda chemicals… so there is still promise of it being bad.  Short intro.  Let’s get going.

   I don’t know that I’ve ever had a drink SMELL so strongly of cardboard, but that’s exactly what this smells like.  Like if a comical hobo (the kind you can feel ok about making fun of) found a piece of cardboard in the dumpster, but sitting on top of it was half an orange.  “Cardboard ala Orange” he’d call it, and charge two comical fish heads per piece.  Sadly it’s now time to drink.

   I wish it tasted more like cardboard, but this is like drinking Cardboard ala Orange out of a dirty sock.  That’s not an exaggeration; it really does taste like it has been strained through a used athletic sock.  The beginning is like you’re sucking on said sock, and that said sock has been saturated in orange soda.  For the splitest of seconds you then get the solo taste of orange soda, only to be finished off by the rather disgusting flavor of the aforementioned Cardboard ala Orange combined with dirty sock.  Dan was right; this is the worst orange soda I’ve ever had, hands down.   I’m honestly having a tough time deciding on the verdict of this soda… so we’re going to see if I can finish it or not.  I’ll tell you right now that I don’t want to, but I’m going to give it a shot.  ***time lapse*** Still drinking… how does something sweetened with cane sugar taste so very awkward?!  Ok, as unpleasant as the task was I did indeed finish it.  Now for the parting shot.

~A

Twist has his "yuk" face on.  Can't you tell?

Purple Stuff - Sippin Citrus

   In the category of classy soda names, Purple Stuff – Sippin Citrus is definitely not listed.  That of course doesn’t mean I won’t review it, you wouldn’t be reading this if I hadn’t.  This was given to us by a citizen of the Carbo-Nation… one Chaz Cavenaugh.  Purple Stuff is a self described “Pro-Relaxation & Calming Elixir” much like Drank.  You can tell it’s trying a bit too hard to associate it self with hallucinogenic drugs because the font is very “Willy Wonka” and there is a crazy purple vortex behind said font.  Well enough babbling it’s time to “Lean with it” as the can says.

   Well after I cracked it open and “Leant with it” for a little bit, I noticed that it has little to no aroma.  While true that most citrus beverages don’t have much of an odor, some part of me thought that this one just might.  Granted part of the fake history on the back of the can does say “Quench your thirst with some casual glamour as you sniff the aroma of purity.” Casual glamour, really?  Oh by the way, the actually color of Purple Stuff is insanely light purple… very disappointing.  Alright, it’s time to sip.

   Do you with Sprite tasted more like an energy drink?  If so, then Purple Stuff – Sippin Citrus is for you.  To break it down a bit more, the initial flavor is like that of a watered down, generic, energy drink.  The middle is where you taste the Sprite… with a lot less carbonation; and the finish is the energy drink flavor again.  It leaves a lighter version of Sprite film in your mouth, so I guess it’s got that going for it.  Listed under the “Caveat” on the back of the can reads this, plus many more sentences…”Purple Stuff is healthy, fun, and the taste is out of this Purple World!”  No, no it’s not.  It does have B vitamins, but also a host of chemicals thus negating any real health benefits.  It’s not fun in the slightest; in fact this is one of the more annoying cans I’ve ever come across.  The only one that could possibly be true is that it has a taste out of this Purple World.  The Earth isn’t purple, so I can only assume an alien race of street wise aliens from some purple planet brought this with them.  Lucky us.

~A

Although you probably can't tell... Twist is in fact "leaning with it"

Inca Kola

   Inca Kola.  “The Golden Kola” aka “The Golden Carbonated Beverage” aka Inca Kola, sits in front of me in a golden can, wrapped in aluminum… wrapped in a mystery.  This can seems to be full of chemicals, which is something I’m pretty sure the Incan’s didn’t use a lot of in their original kola… if in fact they did make kola.  The drink buy date is in 2011, almost as if they doubt you’ll be around in 2012 to drink it… eerie, but not really.  The unknown must become known, let us open this golden can.

   I assumed it would smell like a cola… ahem sorry… kola, but it doesn’t.  Inca Kola smells of cream soda and bubble gum.  The “Golden Kola” has the aroma of “The Red Wonder”… Big Red.  Not being a huge fan of Big Red, it’s not looking good for Inca Kola.  Time to drink.

   Good news, everybody!  It doesn’t taste like Big Red.  The bubble gum you smell translates into the taste of the beverage, except it also includes a hint of ginger.  “Does Inca Kola have ginger in it?” you ask.  No.  No it does not.  In fact this tastes like a generic mystery beverage.  It’s a hodge-podge of chemicals made to be a sugary drink with nothing that sets it apart from the pack.  Get it?  The pack.  A six pack of soda.  Eh? Eh?  Awwww, you don’t get it!  If you see Inca Kola though…

~A

Back home, Twist is known at the Golden Iguana... I asked him why but he said it was embarrassing.

Gamer Soda Grape

   Three Gamer Soda flavors down… one to go!  Since this particular Gamer Soda doesn’t have a flavor listed on it, yet the packaging is purple, I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that it’s grape.  I am the connoisseur of grape flavored sodas between the two of us, and I look forward to trying this installment from Gamer.  You can read all about my history with grape sodas in some of the many links I’m posting in this article.  Enough chit chat… time for business!

   This has a cheap grocery store brand grape soda smell.  Now if you’ve read those articles I told you about, then you’d know that sentence is a compliment.  For those of you who are too lazy to read the articles, that first sentence means that it has a strong, recognizable, definite, grape odor.  Gamer Soda surprises me most every time when it comes to the punch of the aroma that escapes the bottle, shame on me for doubting.   Let’s find out if the flavor matches.

   The first thing I noticed is that my stomach is VERY empty.  I really need to eat something after I finish this review.  Secondly I’m really impressed with the amount of flavor I’m getting here.  It has that “artificial grape” taste (again, read the articles…), but with a very clean finish.  Gamer Soda Grape seems to have the best of both worlds, excluding the sodium benzoate of course.   You get just the right amount of grape flavoring without all of the heaviness a non-brand grape soda would carry with it.  If I do say so myself, Gamer Soda Grape is the first refreshing grape soda I’ve ever had.  There’s really not much more to say.  I don’t even have a funny story to go with this, so here’s an amusing word… Wolpertinger.

~A

(Note:  This beverage was provided to us by Gamer Soda)

Twist is actually half Wolpertinger... which makes him 100% Wolpertinger

Reed's Original Ginger Brew

   We've reviewed so manyReed’s Gingerproducts it amazed me to find out that we’ve never tried their Original Ginger Brew.  Well guess what, and unless you’re horrible at guessing you’ll probably guess correctly.  That’s right we’re shutting the site down out of embarrassment… after of course we review Reed’s Original Ginger Brew, review several other sodas, make a profit off of the site, open a store that rivals Wal-Mart in terms of power, achieve a cult like following, and buy golden DeLoreans only to have endangered owls race them to a fiery, fiery, aftermath.  So let’s get to it!

   Much like the other Reed’s Ginger products, this one has quite the ginger aroma.  No it doesn’t smell like a red-head… that would be creepy.  What it does have is 17 grams of fresh ginger per bottle.  Now this concerns me a bit because the bottle says “All Natural Jamaican Style Ginger Ale”, but this is starting to seem more like a ginger beer.  Only one way to find out… inject it into my veins.  Sadly my Ginger Injection Machine (G.I.M) is on the fritz, so I’ll just drink it instead.  Have I mentioned that I’m feeling a bit off today? I have no idea why.

   Delicious!  So far it’s as promised… rich, flavorful, ginger ale!  While the side of the bottle clearly says “Strong Ginger Bite”, I think I’m home free from experiencing something that would set my tonsil holes ablaze.  It’s very light in carbonation, which normally would be bad for a ginger ale in my book, but the rich flavor of ginger really makes me not care much about anything else.  “Wait Aaron… if the ginger flavor is so rich, why isn’t it burning your mouth?”  Who said that?  Oh, you!  First off, leave my house… wait don’t forget your wallet.  Secondly, I compare it to having really rich chocolate that doesn’t taste overly sweet.  Ok… the answer is that I don’t really know.  I see that this has 8 grams less than Reed’s Extra Ginger Brew (which is a ginger beer), so I’m sure that plays a large factor.  I had a bit of a stomach ache earlier, and the ginger is effectively knocking that out as well as giving my stomach a warming sensation.  Thanks Reed’s.  Threeds.  The only negative thing I can say about this is that it leaves a bit of a film in your mouth.   The film has the same consistency of what you might find in the after effects of a swig of grape juice, of course that only applies if you have the same reaction to grape juice as I.  Even with that tiny complaint, this still ranks as one of the best ginger ales that I’ve ever tasted. 

~A

Faux Fact: Iguanas are a combination of water, ginger, and scales

Fentimans Dandelion & Burdock Soda

   As promised I’m going to try something a little different today with the review today.  In front of me is the head of a dog.  I don’t know if the dog’s name is Fentiman, or if Fentiman is a particularly unattractive person who happens to look like a dog.  It doesn’t matter who/what Fentiman is.  What does matter is that I have a bottle of his Dandelion & Burdock soda in front of me, given to us by Dustin H.  Since I haven’t the slightest idea of what this could taste like, I thought it might be fun to do the review without trying the soda… then taste the soda and give the real review.   Care to play?  Yes, let’s.

***Faux Review:

Ok let’s take some time to smell the roses…er… dandelions, and open this beautiful bottle up.  Wow, the smell isn’t quite as strong as I thought it’d be, but what I do smell has a fruity scent to it.  The closest thing I can describe the smell to is mixed berry yogurt, Yoplait of course.  Ok, enough smelling… time to drink!

Hmm… that’s a hard flavor to describe (especially when I haven’t tasted it yet, tee hee).  While I definitely still taste the berries I initially smelled, I also get kind of an earthy flavor hitting me in the spot my tonsils used to reside.  I like this, but I don’t think I’d drink it every day.  The sweetness is just about perfect, but I wish there was a bit more fizz to this.  I honestly didn’t know what to expect, but I’m glad I ended up giving it a try.  Speaking of trying new things…

Faux Verdict – Buy a Pack***

   Ok, how was that?  Hopefully it’s fairly accurate, but we’re about to find out for realsies.  Let’s open this bad boy up.

   Ok it definitely does have a fruity smell, but much closer to a combination of cherries and grape Robitussin.  I can smell the slight amount of alcohol in this.  Just a heads up, it is fermented, and has less than 0.5% alcohol by volume.  I decided to drink this because it was given to us by a fan, but it technically doesn’t meet all of our standards for a soda we’d normally review.  Enough chatter, let’s take a swig.

   That is a peculiar flavor, and I don’t really taste much sugar at all.  Fentimans Dandelion & Burdock starts off with a flavor comparable to cough syrup, which transforms into… well, cough syrup.  It’s obviously not thick like cough syrup so I guess that’s a plus.  Oh no!  Someone has put a gun to my head, and is making me describe it in one sentence!  It tastes like cough syrup soda without the vapory feeling cough syrup gives your mouth.  Fwew!  He’s gone… thanks for all your help!  Oh, another thing.   It also has a bit of a black licorice finish to it, but it’s so slight I reluctantly added it only after Twist made me.  One positive comment I will say about Fentimans Dandelion & Burdock is that you don’t have to search for the flavor… unlike my previous experience with Dry Soda Co. Lavender.  Sadly though, it seems that this really isn’t up my alley… and that’s fine.  If you’re a big fan of the ‘Tussin maybe you should give it a try.  I for one like a little ‘Tussin.

~A

Twist got soooooo WASTED!

Thomas Kemper Vanilla Cream

   It seems that when you drink a Thomas Kemper product you’re probably not going to regret your choice.  Hopefully today’s installment follows that particular path.  In front of me sits a bee.  The bee in front of me sits on a bottle of Thomas Kemper Vanilla Cream.  As you probably know Thomas Kemper has both Northwest honey, and cane sugar included in the ingredients… so we may be in for a sweet treat here.  Let’s take a whiff.

   It smells like a cream soda flavored Dum-Dum brand sucker… which is certainly not a bad thing, but I can assume (yes I know what happens when you assume) that this is going to be incredibly sweet from the aroma alone.  I wasn’t really feeling a cream soda today, but this may get me to change my tune.  Time for a drink.

   Well oddly enough it’s not a sweet as I thought it would be, nor is it all that creamy.  While the bite you feel before the cream is weak, it’s still stronger than something you’d normally find in a drink as smooth as cream soda.  The vanilla flavoring can’t be missed as it jumps in behind the initial fizz.  Since I enjoy giving random analogies, and it seems a few of you enjoy them too, here’s one describing the relationship between the fizz and vanilla flavoring.  Picture that you’re walking through an empty castle; you’ve been there a week exploring with your best friend, so you kind of know your way around.  Turning through the corridors you hear the laughter of children coming from around the corner.  Poking your head around you only see a deserted hallway, but no sooner do you turn back around that someone jumps out in front of you and gives your heart a slight rush.  Don’t worry; it’s your best friend Fizz.  Why his parents named him Fizz we’ll never know.  It only takes a split-second to realize this and begin to calm down, but then a tiny deformed version of Fizz jumps out from behind him and screams at you.   Thankfully tiny deformed Fizz is wearing a shirt that reads “Vanilla” so that this analogy would make more sense.  That was just a fun way of saying, first you’re hit with fizz, then a dose of vanilla you can’t ignore… but the vanilla isn’t very smooth.    This is an ok Vanilla Cream soda… but there better ones out there.

~A

Twist is afraid of bees... hence the shaking

Gamer Soda Orange

   Gamer soda is back in our hands, and this time it has the flavor of oranges.  As you may know we’ve already tried two of the Gamer soda flavors… cherry and citrus.  I’m a fan of orange soda, so I’m quite interested to see how well this clear concoction delivers.   Let’s open it shall we?

   The smell is most definitely orange.  It’s not a chemically smelling orange either; in fact it smells like the fine mist that occurs when you squeeze an orange peel.   For now I’m going to file that in the “Yay” book.  Drinkin’ time.

   Well that’s odd.  The smell definitely has a more lingering orange experience to it than the taste.  Gamer Orange doesn’t have a diet taste to it, but the mouth feel is that of a diet drink.  What I mean by that is it doesn’t sit heavy in your mouth like say a Sunkist Orange Soda would.  A light mouth feel is fine and dandy (like sour candy) but this is just a bit too light for me.  Picture one of those people who own a pet parrot, but are really too close to it.  You know the people I’m talking about, they allow the birds head into their mouth so it can pick at their teeth.  Now picture a parrot of your choosing picking at the teeth of its owner, who we will now call Raphael.  This particular parrot accidentally dropped a candy orange slice on the back of the Raphael’s tongue (no questions on how he got one, parrots are crafty creatures), but then being greedy the parrot immediately picked the orange slice back up again.  This only teased Raphael’s taste buds to the fantastic flavor of orange he could be experiencing had he not raised a greedy parrot.  That is what Gamer Orange tastes like… without the taste of parrot feathers of course.  The beverage taunts you with what it could be if the flavor only lasted a little longer.  Sure you have a decent aftertaste, and in a lot of cases that would be enough for me, but not in this one.  After this rant you might think that I’d rate this beverage lower, but the orange flavor they tease you with really is tasty… like crackers.

~A

**Update!**

We received an e-mail from Gamer Soda explaining the way the flavor hits your tongue!

Considering your parrot analogy, when you sweeten with real (cane) sugar, the flavor comes & goes quicker because it doesn’t coat your mouth like syrup. HFCS has been commercially used for so long now that most consumers have gotten used to it’s yuckiness. You can really tell the difference when comparing side-by-side, and if you ever compare the 2 at room temperature, there’s a huge difference (not that you’d drink a soda at room temperature…this almost qualifies as a sin). The cane sugar soda tastes fine, but the HFCS can barely be tolerated. Lastly, cane sugar sodas don’t need nearly the same carbonation, because you don’t have to trick your taste buds like you do when using corn syrup. As they say, you get what you pay for!

Thanks to Gamer Soda for showing an interest in the site, and helping teach us all a little bit more about soda.

(Note:  This beverage was provided to us by Gamer Soda)

After one too many oranges I can get Twist to clean my teeth

Saint Arnold Root Beer

   Funny story… we’ve reviewed Saint Arnold’s Root Beer before, but we lost the review.  So here it is again… kinda.  Many people in Houston feel that Saint Arnold’s Root could be the best root beer out there.  I think this has to do with the Saint Arnold’s Brewery being located in Houston (Saint Arnold is the patron saint of hop-pickers and Belgian brewers), but you can’t blame citizens being proud of something from their hometown.  I was born and raised here in Houston, so let’s find out if by the end of this review Saint Arnold doesn’t get a title upgrade.  Wait… what’s higher than a Saint?  Never mind…  it’s time to open.  Wait, I can't continue without mentioning this.  The bottle cap says "Saint Arnold - Yummy Root Beer" Really?!  Ok, REVIEW ON!

   The smell is quite nice, vanilla is definitely noticed which is pleasant.  If I had to compare it to a brand that most everyone has tried then I’d say it’s very similar to IBC in odor.  Let’s check out the taste.

   That whole “smell is 80% of taste” thing just might have some validity behind it, as this tastes similar to IBC Root Beer as well.  The vanilla I tasted is also featured, but quickly ducks behind the curtains only to shove carbonation onto the stage.  That was just a fancy way of saying that I tasted the vanilla, but then the burn from the bubbles took over my mouth.  So far so good right?  Not so fast there Sport.  The finish of this root beer is quite watery.  Not obscenely watery mind you, but something that’s going to take its rating down a notch.  “But I like watery root beer” you say, well what if that watery finish was followed by a dirty aftertaste?  “But…but…but…” you’d stammer, and then I’d tell you to visit our site and try again.  Saint Arnold’s got halfway to a good root beer and then stopped.  The first half of your taste experience is great, and sets your mind to positive thoughts.  Sadly the second half just doesn’t deliver.  Let’s try this Generation Y example… the first half of the beverage is TMNT 2: Secret of the Ooze… the second half is TMNT 3: Turtles in Time.  If you thought that TMNT 3 was awesome, then I have no more words for you… well except these.

~A

Faux Fact:  Twist is the patron saint of bottle caps.

Topo Chico Lime

   I’m a bit late posting this, but today’s drink is actually last Friday’s drink.  Last Friday’s drink was Topo Chico Lime Flavor.  If you happened to listen to the Popcast from last Friday, and you’re missing some good stuff if you didn’t, you already know how this review ends up.  Actually I’m going to break format today and turn this into a rant.  First off, let’s get the review portion of this out of the way…

   Topo Chico Lime Flavor has somewhat of a lime smell, but it’s really only to taunt you.  After consuming this you’ll immediately learn that it is basically seltzer water with the hintiest hints of lime.  That’s it, review over, check the end for the rating.  Sorry if that wasn’t all your dreams lead you to believe it would be, but I’m tired.

   Tired you say?  Yes, I’m tired of the lack of good lime flavored beverages.  I’m not talking Key Lime, or Cherry Limeade, or that made up “Lymon” nonsense… I’m talking LIME.  You know lime; he’s lemon’s overlooked, but equally awesome brother.  Lime is one of my favorite flavors, but soda companies seem to mute it, over sweeten it, or pair it with another flavor when they make a soda out of it.  I want to find an AWESOME lime soda.  I want to find a lime soda that hits you in the mouth with how tart it is, then rocks you back to sleep with some sweetness.  It should be refreshing on a hot day, and have a light mouth/stomach feel to it.  While I’m making demands, it should also use cane sugar for sweetener.  Actual limes should be used in the beverage itself, and you should be able to taste them.  Topo Chico uses lime essential oils in this “lime flavored” beverage.  I’m pretty sure they aren’t all that “essential” to the limes that are missing them, because they hold none of the flavor.  So this is my challenge to you soda manufacturers, jerks, and jerkettes… find me a good lime flavored soda.  By finding one you will be helping me see that our friend the lime isn’t being overlooked.  For smurfs sake they make passion flower flavored soda!  Now make me some lime soda; you’ll be improving the lives of so many if you do.  Oh yeah, one more thing…

~A

Twist the Iguana has more lime flavor than this

Bundaberg Australian Ginger Beer

   Oh boy!  It’s time to remind myself of how much of a wuss I am as I attempt to consume a Bundaberg Australian Ginger Beer.  Read as I curl into the fetal position because the main ingredient is “fire”.  There is no actual fire in this bottle, but something tells me that if I can’t drink an American ginger beer without discomfort, an Australian one will leave me in tears.  If you don’t know our history of reviewing ginger beer, here’s a short lesson.  Neither one of us can finish a bottle because our throats cry as much as you do when you watch Steel Magnolias.  BURN!  Yes, we’re talking about the burn.  You know the packaging… cool top, cool kangaroo, and pieces of ginger floating within.  Let’s take a whiff.

   Smells like ginger… I was always a Mary Ann kinda guy myself though.  BRING ON THE PAIN!

   The first drink is how I remember most ginger beer, a little bit of bite, with an almost gingersnap aftertaste.  It’s like the ginger beer is luring you into a safe place, waiting to pounce on you with napalm.  Let’s us now continue… counting along the way to see how many drinks it will take before I can takes no more!  Two.  I felt a little bit of the fire on this one, but nothing that’s going to scare me off.  Three.  The flames are lingering a bit more, but I’m still enjoying the flavor enough to keep on going.  Four.  That gulp had some bite in it… not so much fire as the initial sting of the ginger.  I kind of liked it.  Am I becoming a man?  Five.  Tamer than four, and I think I’m going to stop counting now and see if I can’t just finish this off.  I’ve now consumed more than half the bottle, and while my throat is in a little bit of discomfort, finishing this beverage will make me feel better about myself. (88 MPH)  Finished, and the only time I felt any true discomfort was on the last swig.  While I know I shouldn’t, I genuinely feel tougher.  Yes look at me; I’m so tough I can drink an Australian ginger beer.  Ha HA!  Watch as my fist goes through this brick wall, into a bank safe, and comes out with a fist full of diamond dust that I created by crushing a piece of coal.  To be honest I’ve had harsher ginger beer, but I could never truly appreciate them due to my kitten like sensitivities.  With Bundaberg Australian Ginger Beer I’m able to drink, taste, and enjoy it while getting a feeling of accomplishment at the end.  This has a great ginger flavor, a tolerable amount of burn, and a rockin’ kangaroo on the bottle.  If you like ginger beer at all you’ll probably want to…

~A

Oddly enough, Twist had kangaroo for dinner

Zuberfizz Grape Soda

  Oh Zuberfizz, how you perplex us.  One minute I can be enjoying a delicious beverage from your factory, and the next I can open a different drink of the same flavor only to find it watery.  In front of me I have a bottle of Zuberfizz Grape Soda, and since I’m such a “Grape” guy, it’s my job to review it.  I already know Mike’s call on this beverage… he claimed that it was watery.  He also made that claim before we knew that Zuberfizz Soda was a bit of a Jekyll and Hyde.  Now that we know that there are both, I have to hope this is one of the good ones.  If in fact it is watery, I have to hold it against them.  Hopefully, like Hot Lips did, they will explain why some of their beverages don’t quite match up to others.  Let’s open this up.

  Well some good news is the fact that it smells like a grape jolly rancher.  I really do hope that means the flavor is strong as well.  I always enjoy it when the cool refreshing cloud escapes from the neck of the bottle… if only it were the color of the beverage it was fleeing.   Time to drink.

  How sad, it’s watery.  While there is a decent amount of grape flavoring, it has no real bite.  It’s a smooth soda, but I’m not sure I like that for a grape flavored beverage.  I want to be able to feel this punch me in the back of the throat.  While I like that they use real cane sugar, this tastes to me like watered down grape soda that’s trying to hide behind its sugar.  What I mean by that is since there is no bite for the sweetness to compete with; it makes the drink seem too sweet.  It’s not a gross flavor by any means, but I can’t recommend you buy this when there is better tasting, cheaper, grape sodas out there.  Could this be a watery batch… sure, but until I taste a better one.

~A

Twist hid my camera, so I had to take a weird angle shot with my phone

(Note:  This beverage was provided to us by Zuberfizz)

OKF Sparkling Fresh Grape

   Have you ever seen a clear can?  Well I hadn’t either until I picked up OKF Sparkling Fresh Grape.  Technically the can in question isn’t aluminum, but plastic… much like the lower half of a 20 oz bottle.  It’s really more of a can/bottle hybrid, but the important thing is that it’s in front of me.  If you listen to our Popcast you already know how we feel about this drink, and that I won’t have any problem reviewing it again in text form.  Here’s a fun fact that OKF Sparkling Fresh Grape taught us… the word Raisin is French for Grape.  Who knew?  The French I guess.  Whelp, it's time to open the canotle… botan… cattle… can/bottle.  (You really can’t combine the words that well)

   The drink has a fresh smelling grape juice aroma, which makes sense since it’s one of the six listed ingredients (even though it is only 1% of the total beverage).  It even smells a little sweet, so we’re off to a good start here.  Let’s drink.

   Just as we described on the Popcast, that while this drink is lightly flavored, it’s just the right amount for what it is.  I really think the cane sugar helps bring out the grape juice flavoring, and that’s honestly what puts it over the top for me flavor wise.  The carbonation is also light, making this just fizzy enough to separate itself from flavored water, but light enough to still be refreshing.  Fortunately the taste matches the light grape juice smell, with just a touch more sweetness added to it.  Now, I could easily drink more than the 8.3 oz that come in this bottle, but having such a small portion really makes it seem like a reward instead of a drink.  All in all, OKF Sparkling Grape is a pleasant beverage by all aspects; it’s healthy, all natural, light, sweet, and comes in a cool container.  With all that said…

~A

Twist finally made it over to Mike's house... and proceeded to eat all of his Zelda collectibles

Mug Root Beer

   Well true to our word we really will review any soda if given to us for free by our fans.  Today’s review is Mug Root Beer, given to us by one Double R.  I really think that he meant for this review to be difficult.  Anyone can review an odd drink, pointing out what makes it unique… but a mainstream root beer that most everyone has tasted could be much more difficult.  Mug of course is one of the three big name root beer brands out there, the other two being Barq’s, and of course A&W.  I have a co-worker that refers to Mug as “the working man’s root beer”, or the “blue collar” root beer.  I really enjoy thinking of it that way, and the bulldog on the front of the can offering me a frosty glass of root beer seems to give off the feel of a “blue collar” kind of guy.  Speaking of the can art, it looks as if I’m picking up a frosty mug overflowing with suds.  Nice touch Pepsi… I mean Mug.  Enough with the chatter, let’s crack it open.

   I’m realizing now that I’ve never truly smelled Mug Root Beer… and upon doing so I realize that its root beer smell really isn’t that strong.  I kind of thought all the chemicals inside of it would have increased the aroma, but I’ve been wrong before… ONE TIME.  Time for some drinkin’.

   To be honest with you, and I always am, I haven’t had a Mug Root Beer in a while.  This tastes much more watery than I remember.  Mug doesn’t have the “bite” of Barq’s, or the creamy taste of A&W.  In fact it has a muted, less impressive version of the characteristics that make the other two root beers loved by so many.  A positive attribute of Mug how clean the taste is for a mainstream root beer.  There are definitely cleaner tasting root beers out there, but this one does pretty well compared to its A&W Rival.  As you might expect this is a very safe drink.  By safe I mean that you pretty much know what it’s going to taste like when you pick up a can for the first time.  It’s going to taste like boring root beer.  Now I recognize that I’ve probably become a root beer snob over the past two years, and I’m sure that’s affecting this review.  If you love Mug Root Beer and don’t understand why I’m not rating it higher, go out and try some Virgil’s, Boylan’s, or Bundaberg Root Beer and tell me they aren’t heads, tails, slugs, and snails better than Mug.  Until then I’m sticking with this…

~A

Faux Fact: Twist was the original mascot for Mug, but he asked for too much money

Dr. Zevia

Stevia is being touted as a "next-gen sweetener."  We don't know what's so bad about cane sugar, but it doesn't seem to be good enough for the soda industry.  So here's stevia, in the form of Dr. Zevia, part of a line of stevia sweetened sodas.  Dr. Zevia is their Dr. Pepper type drink.  So how does this next-gen, or "robot doctor" as we'll call it, hold up?  

Pretty bad.  Sure, it's diet, and diet to us is slang for "horrible," which it is.  It's really bad.  It's like a watery Dr. Pepper.  But to be fair, maybe we're not the best judges on this.

When it comes to diet sodas, this is bad, but it's not horrible.  It's not Beverly, that's for sure.

It does have some redeeming factors.  For one, it is zero calories, thanks to the stevia.  The ingredient list is fairly decent too, with lots of natural oils and cherry essence.  No sodium benzoate either!  That's always a plus.

So we may not be the best judges of diet soda for taste, but we can say that this is much better in the ingredient department than grabbing another diet soda.  So for that...

-Mike

IBC Tangerine Cream Soda

   It’s not Orange Cream, it’s Tangerine Cream.  It’s not Orange Cream, it’s Tangerine Cream. It’s not Orange Cream, it’s Tangerine Cream.  I’m going to have to repeat that mantra to myself as I consume this IBC Tangerine Cream Soda.  Something tells me though that it won’t make a bit of difference, hopefully they’ll prove me wrong.  I enjoy the IBC brand, and I’d like to add another horse to their stable of sodas I would purchase.  Here goes nothing.

   Hey guess what?  This smells a lot like orange cream soda, only a bit lighter in the ‘orange’ part.  The creaminess is definitely noticeable in the aroma, which makes me believe this will be very sweet.  Too bad there is no way we could find out if it is too sweet… oh wait, I have an idea!

   Drinking this was a great way to figure out the sweetness of IBC Tangerine Cream Soda!  I’m a genius!  Well I would be a genius if I had trusted that IBC knew what they were doing when they place the words Tangerine Cream Soda on their bottle.  This does taste differently enough from orange for me to make that apology.  Could someone trick you into believing it was orange cream soda?  I’m sure they could, but what kind of lame trick is that.  “We replaced Don’s orange cream soda with new IBC Tangerine Cream Soda… let’s see if he notices.”  Don might notice, but you’re not going to get a face full of knuckles for your prank.  Don would more than likely thank you for slightly broadening his horizons on the soda frontier.  The cream actually overpowers the tangerine flavoring they’ve chemically added to this soda.  If that were switched I’d give it a higher score, but since IBC didn’t travel into the future and read this review they’re stuck with…

~A

Twist is allergic to Tangerine flavoring... hence the reason he looks so green

Gamer Soda Cherry

   Remember Crystal Pepsi?  As a child I was amazed that Pepsi could be clear, and still have the same flavor as its original counterpart.  My mind literally exploded out of my ears when I learned that there could be a clear, non citrus flavored beverage.  How far science had taken us in the 10 short years I’d been alive.  I wax poetically on Crystal Pepsi because in front of me sits a clear cherry flavored beverage called Gamer Soda.  This cherry flavored Gamer Soda was sent to us by the fine folks at Gamer Soda, and to back up our end of the bargain we’re gonna review it.  By all accounts this beverage is right up our alley.  We both enjoy video games, and obviously we both enjoy soda.  The bottle art has a red hue to it so that it might represent the cherry flavoring, and the nutritional information is listed clearly at the top of the bottle… almost like a status bar in a video game.  The logo for Gamer Soda is somewhat witty as they use what looks to be a generic console controller as the “M” in the word Gamer.  All in all the appearance is nice, not over the top, but still original enough to maybe catch your eye.

   I open the bottle expecting a very light cherry odor to come out of the top of the bottle.  To my surprise the cherry scent comes rolling out at a much higher abundance than I imagined.  It’s not at a Cherry Crush level of scent, but it’s still stronger than you’d think.  Let’s drink this.

   Light is the first word that comes to my mind.  That’s not the flavor description, but the actual mouth feel of the soda is light.  This isn’t as heavy of a drink like something you might experience in an IBC Black Cherry, which I am also a fan of.  While I do normally associate a heavier taste with cherry flavored beverages, the fact that this one isn’t quite at powerful actually works for it.  I consume heavier beverages with less frequency than those that sit more lightly in my stomach, and I think the lack of coloring is helping that cause.  What I’m trying, and failing to say is this, it seems that the fine folks at Gamer Soda have reached a very good place when it comes to the amount of flavor, and how rich the beverage is.  Coupled with the fact that they use both Vitamin B, and cane sugar in their product and you get a good soda that you’ll be going back to.  After trying cherry I can honestly say that I’m looking forward to reviewing the Grape flavored Gamer Soda.  We said it best during the Popcast when it came down to giving it a score, so if you want the full explanation you’ll have to listen.  For now you’ll just get this…

~A

Faux Fact:  Twist can turn invisible

(Note:  This beverage was provided to us by Gamer Soda)