Zuberfizz Cola

My experience with Zuberfizz has been well documented.  The short story is this… when the batch isn’t watery it tastes great!  The only problem is that I’ve come across more watery batches than I thought I ever would.  With that said let’s reach into the Ice Box and pull out a Zuberfizz Cola.  Same simplistic art on the bottle that I enjoy so much coupled with one of my favorite bottle caps to date.  Glad to see that the art never gets watered down… now let’s find out about the drink.

The odor wafting from the bottle is one rich in cola flavor.  I’d like to point out that those flavors turned odor are all natural as well!  Zuberfizz always has top notch ingredients and in part usually has a great aroma.  Smell is one thing to be excited about but it won’t tell us if this batch is watery.  For that we need to drink!

While I’m not sure if this is the actual achieved flavor I taste.  The flavor could be much stronger… and it could be much weaker, so there’s no telling.  The mouth feel of Zuberfizz Cola is very neutral but that’s ok because it works.  It has about as much fizz as a 2 liter that was opened the day before, so don’t think going into this you’re not going to experience any carbonation.  The flavor I’m greeted with is no doubt cola but it doesn’t find any similarity to Coke, Pepsi, or RC.  I didn’t realize how sweet this tasted until I didn’t drink it for a bit.  My mouth has a slight sugary film coating it much like a veil on a bride.  That was just an overly romantic way of saying that the film isn’t bad at all… it just exists and that’s ok.  Unlike the veil you can never remove the film which I’m sure after a while might get annoying.  “How many foggy days in a row has it been now, Dave?”  “It hasn’t been foggy all week Jane… you’re veil, remember?”  “Oh yes, how silly of me!   I don’t know why I don’t ever take my veil off?”  “I think you’re trying to strengthen some lame analogy in a soda review.”  “What?” “Never mind.”  Leaving Dave and Jane alone I leave you, the reader, with this.  Zuberfizz Cola is good.  Its ingredients are good.  Its bottle art is good but it just doesn’t stand out to me amongst a cola heavy market.

~A

(This Soda was supplied to us by Zuberfizz)

That's not a pineapple behind Twist... it's an Iguana Fruit ready to bloom.

SAPS Cola

   A nice man from the website DizzyFrinks.com (see what he did there) contacted me and made me an offer I couldn’t refuse.  If I was more into the Godfather I’d make a better joke here.  I went and checked out DizzyFrinks.com and really liked what I saw.  Great design, nice layout… heck if I had any kind of experience in web design it’s pretty much what our site would look like.  I noticed he had a good selection of German beverages and I was curious to try one.  After carefully looking over them all I eventually became the proud owner of a bottle of SAPS Cola.  So I must thank the fine folks at DizzyFrinks.com for opening my eyes to a beverage I probably wouldn’t have even thought of procuring.   Now that you’ve passed over three, count them, three hyperlinks to said website hopefully you’ll visit after you’re done reading this review. 

   Being from Germany, SAPS Cola’s bottle is filled with fun German words and phrases.  “Koffeinfrei” is the first one I notice and my rudimentary understanding of German deciphers that it means “Caffeine Free”.  Next up is the sentence “Mit Biohonig Gesuesst”.  Again my 3 years of high school German crack this coded sentence to mean “With Biohoney Gesuesst.”  Ok… so maybe I need to look this one up.  Ah, here we go… “Sweetened with Organic Honey”.  Thanks so much Google Translate.  The bottle design is kind of fun with a short stocky body attached to a long slender neck.  Sadly the label itself is fairly boring with the exception being a cartoon bee resting upon the “a” in the word “Cola”.  I looked up a little information on SAPS Cola and found out that it’s 100% natural, has won some awards, and has no preservatives.  All of these things normally point towards a great drink.  Let’s sniff it out a little more before we put a blue ribbon on the hog.  (Honestly I just wanted to write a made up country saying there.  I think I did pretty well.)

   Wow.  I never thought I’d be able to smell the honey so strongly upon opening this bottle.  If this review continues to go this well maybe more beverages should use Biohonig.  I literally only smell cola and honey and now I’m even more intrigued.  Shall I drink it now?  Yes I shall.

   That tastes nothing like I thought it would, which is a nice surprise.  I didn’t expect it to be gross or anything but the cola flavoring is much more muted than I predicted.  The initial flavor is a bit off putting but very familiar to me.  Well I guess it’s not completely familiar because I can’t pin point where I’ve tasted it before.  I know I’ve had at least one other soda that included this mystery flavor.  I’m starting to think that this is similar to the first half of a sip of Moxie.  As we all know the second half of Moxie tastes like carbonated tires.  Sadly I can’t claim that humorous description of Moxie but it was placed on the site and I enjoyed it to the point of adopting it.  I know they’re trying to get the cola taste through all natural means but the honey is the winning combatant in this battle.  I think that the flavor is one that most American palates would find unique and maybe a bit off putting at first but I must say the more I drink it the better it tastes.  It’s almost like the honey has a mind of its own and it slowing taking over my mouth.  Not to the point where a swarm of bees has claimed residence in my throat awkwardly flying out one by one to the confusion of everyone around me.  That would almost be worth it though.  I would randomly produce a bee from my mouth only to watch everyone in the room freak out until the bee landed safely back on my tongue only to go back home behind my molars.  One can dream can’t they?  One…can…dream.  Anywho, back to the beverage at hand.  The level of carbonation is low but that can be attributed to the fact that SAPS Cola is sweetened with honey.  Carbon Dioxide doesn’t bond as well with honey (or other natural but alternative sweeteners) as it does with sugar.  This in turn leads to a perfectly new soda tasting “flat”.  I wish I could say I knew that because of my immense chemistry background but in actuality I was told this by a soda manufacturer.  I used to be bothered by this flat taste when I started reviewing but I’ve come to appreciate the mouth feel of these drinks now.  They don’t attack your mouth and throat as much allowing you to focus on the beverage at hand instead of reacting to the initial buzz (haha, get it, buzz?) of the carbonation.  With all that said it’s time to put down a verdict.  I can honestly say that the ingredient list bumps this cola up a notch.  Would this by my drink of choice if I lived in Germany?  No, probably not.  Do I recommend you purchase this from overseas?  Nope.  If you live in Germany already but haven’t had the chance to try this should you?  Yes.  In fact…

Twist ist durstig

Jarritos Mexican Cola

   Jarritos does such a great job making sodas that we’ve reviewed every one of them so far… except Strawberry.  Our bottle of strawberry was lost to some goblins in a fan’s house.  One day… one day.  Any who, imagine my joy when a fan of ours, “AX2”, brought me a bottle of Jarritos Mexican Cola.  I wasn’t even aware Jarritos sold a cola in the United States so I had to research.  What I found was that Jarritos Mexican Cola had run an ad campaign with the sentence “It Crossed!” as the slogan.  I can only assume that this means it has only recently found a home here across the border.  Doesn’t matter though because I’m raring to try it! 

   After tracking down my bottle opener  for this twist proof cap I am welcomed by a robust soda aroma wafting from the lip of the bottle.  It’s a stronger cola smell than Coke produces so hopefully we’re looking at a strong contender in the best cola category.  Time for some drinkin’.

   Very nice!  Just the right amount of carbonation and a great cola taste.  It’s not as strong or acidic feeling on the throat as Coke is but Jarritos Mexican Cola definitely gets the point across.  There’s something a little different with the cola flavor in this soda than in others and I can’t quite put my finger on it.  It’s almost as if they put more syrup in it than you would think they would be able to.  This doesn’t weigh down the beverage, in fact it’s almost like they made the cola flavor more efficient.  I could find a mathematical formula to represent this but that would be boring and very inaccurate.  Oh heck here’s  one anyway:

   It’s almost as if they condensed the cola flavoring so that you get more than you would think per sip.  Like I said… I can’t put my finger on it.  Cinnamon maybe?  I dunno.  The big question is, “Is it better than Coke/Pepsi/RC?”  The answer is yes.  Jarritos of course uses sugar so that already gives it a leg up on the competition.  With that said, and sugar aside, the flavor/mouth feel from Jarritos Mexican Cola is better than that of the big boys.  I would choose this every time over “Red” or “Blue”.  If you can get some Jarritos Mexican Cola in your area do so, in fact…

~A

Twist needs a Mexican brother named Disparar for cases like this

HEB Original Cola

   What sits in front of me today is a marvel of the world, but then again I’m not that well traveled.  HEB Original Cola is the name of the game: a store brand cola.  If you haven’t guessed by now, HEB is a grocery store here in Texas.  As far as grocery store chains go… this one is definitely in my Top Three.  “Why is this HEB Original Cola a marvel?” you ask?  It’s made with pure cane sugar.  THANK YOU!  A store brand cola made with pure cane sugar!  HEB Original Cola also doesn’t have any sodium benzoate polluting it either!  The art on the outside of the can is retro and unlike anything you’d see branded by a grocery store.  With all that said this still needs to taste delicious.  So let us find out together. 

   The smell that comes from this cream colored can is definitely that of cola.  You could wave this in front of my nose and I’d probably guess it was a Coke or an RC Cola.  I’m not the best sniffer in the world, but the aroma seems to be a combination of the two.  Enough chatter, more drink!

   Very nice.  HEB Original Cola tastes like a Coke but without as much of the bite.  That’s not to say its’ bite isn’t noticeable, in fact it’s quite pleasant.  As much as I’d love to sing the praises of this cola’s amazing flavor, it’s going to be pretty hard to.  There is nothing in the flavor that sets it apart from Coke, Pepsi, or RC… but that is where it achieves victory.  This is a store brand cola sold at a lesser cost than the big three.  HEB Original Cola also has better ingredients than the big three colas.  You’re getting the flavor of cola you’re familiar with for a cheaper price and with better ingredients.  Give me a reason NOT to buy it.  Think of any movie where they need to recruit a warrior of some sort to help defeat an evil force.  Do they pick the biggest warrior with the shiniest red armor that will join you for a price?  Do they pick the flashy blue warrior with the newest gear that constantly tells you how he could beat up the red warrior at a moment’s notice?  No.  They pick that guy in the back of the bar.  Sure he gave up being a warrior a lifetime ago, but they appeal to his honor, his morals, and his values.  He reluctantly joins, and the audience is disappointed at first that this was the best the group could get.  As soon as the first battle starts you realize he’s not just some washed up warrior, he’s Hebor, King of All Warriors!  All he needed was for someone to give him a chance, to let him shine.  Give HEB Original Cola a chance to shine.  Pick it up one day instead of Coke or Pepsi, and see if you aren’t impressed.

~A

Twist enjoys the fact that the can has a picture of a bottle cap on it

Pig Iron Cola

   Today’s installment is Pig Iron Cola, another soda given to me by Dustin H.  Had you listed to Episode 6 of the Popcast, you'd already know this.  I really don’t know what to think about this beverage.   I can tell you that it’s produced under the authority of Pig Iron BBQ.  I can tell you that their website is www.PigIronBBQ.net.  I can also tell you that their logo is certainly unique.  Now that you have all the knowledge I do, it’s probably best we look a little closer.

   Looking at the ingredients I’m pleased to find that they use cane sugar to sweeten it.  While that’s pretty much the only ingredient that sets it apart from “standard” colas, I’m still happy to see it.  The coloring of the soda itself is a dark brown, with faint red highlights when held up to a light.  The bottle cap adorning the top is your standard black top.  I prefer designs on bottle caps; it makes them stand out more.  Some people collect them, and if yours is a standard color what sets you apart?  Pig Iron Cola could easily do this, if it fits into budget of course.  Maybe one of the stars that circle their pig mascot would work something simple.   Now that I’ve broken down the bottle, it’s time to drink.

   Before I go on I must say that this has a very strong cola scent, one of the most powerful I’ve ever inhaled.  My expectations have gone up considerably.  I would almost recommend this cola on smell alone, but let’s taste it just in case. 

   This is certainly a cola, and a good one at that.  Just so you know what to base its flavor on, I would say that it most resembles RC Cola.  While it does taste like RC, it’s most certainly a stronger version of it.  This is potentially one of the strongest colas I’ve ever tasted.  Personally I think it has a strong amount of carbonation, Mike does not agree.  The cola flavor sticks in your mouth too, but you won’t have a problem with that as it’s quite pleasant.  If you’re like me some sodas affect the way your teeth feel.  In this case my teeth grind together a bit more easily after drinking Pig Iron Cola, not something I’m fond of but it’s a small complaint.  This is still a solid cola in my opinion, very strong, very brash, but the cane sugar still delivers a crisp feel to it.  I would score this higher, but other than being strong it doesn’t stand out to me in any other way.  If they changed the bottle design some, maybe added more natural ingredients, then I could see buying a case.  I realize that this is probably the second thought of someone running a BBQ, but our grading scale eases up for no one.  Still, I know nothing about Pig Iron BBQ, but I would assume that if their cola is this good, their BBQ must be great!  If you happen to stop into Pig Iron BBQ, I might just have the drink to compliment your meal.

~A

Twist likes BBQ too... crickets mostly

Sjampie

   I asked a friend of mine who lives in the Netherlands to suggest a drink for me to review.  His response was the Dutch beverage Sjampie.  Fortunately he’s the kind of guy that will pick me up an extra bottle, and then take the effort to get it to me.  Thanks K!  Enough chatter, time to review me some Sjampie.

   Before I go any further I feel obligated to give you the correct pronunciation of Sjampie.  It’s pronounced  Shahmp-ee.  That’s not exactly how I would say it, mostly because Sh-jamp-ee is so much more fun to say.  Moving along.  The bottle art is quite plain; it has a few yellow/green bubbles adoring the top and bottom of the beverage, but nothing all that elaborate.  The name of the beverage, Sjampie, sits on the neck of the bottle, while Corvo (which I can only assume the manufacturer) rests on the base.  In-between the two brands read the words “Limonadegazeuse Sjampie”.  This, from my best guess, is the flavor I’m about to consume.  While I associate Limon with lemon/lime, the color of the soda is brown… which leaves me a bit perplexed. 

   Silly me, I tried to twist off a foreign cap forgetting they usually need a bottle opener, time to get my flip-flops. (My mom purchased me some flip-flops with a bottle opener on the bottom… she’s the best)  Wow… upon opening it I get the smell of egg-nog cola, with maybe with a just a hint of chocolate.  I know there is no possible way for that to be the flavor, but needless to say my curiosity keeps going up the longer I hold this bottle in my possession.  Let’s Drink.

   It has the essence of a cola, the bite, the color… but it also seems to have a citrus flavor hiding within.  This is remarkably hard to attach a flavor to it.  It’s almost like a lemon cola with something else going on inside of it.  There is very light carbonation, but that seems to work with Sjampie.  In fact the smell, taste, and light carbonation of Sjampie make it seem like a drink that would normally house alcohol.  The flavor is not overpowering, in fact it’s quite mellow; almost like a flat, slightly watered down RC cola with a handful of lemons dropped inside of it.  I will say that it leaves a film on my teeth, much like drinking a warm Coke would.  Ok… the word “Limonadegazeuse” on the side of the bottle is mocking me… therefore I must look up what it means.  **Time Passes** Oddly enough as one word I couldn’t find a translation, but when I separate them into “Limon” and “Gazeuse” I get Lemonade – Soda Water.  This is a very rough Dutch translation of course, but I’m happy that I was able to at least guess the flavor. 

Twist is 1/128th Dutch

Moxie

   Well here we are at review 100.  First off thanks for your readership as we moved from our humble beginnings on livejournal, to the multi-million dollar corporation we are today.  Oh wait… we haven’t made a dime, but we’re millionaires at heart.  Today’s beverage was the most suggested beverage when we asked our readers what the 100th review should be… Moxie.  If you listened to the Popcast you'd know that.

   Moxie is one of the oldest sodas out there, some say THE oldest.  Really it’s very close between Moxie, Vernor’s Ginger Soda, and Hire’s Root Beer.  Looking upon the label I can tell you right away that this is no longer the original formula.  Replaced with chemicals I assume, with one exception that reads “Gentian Root Extractives”.  I’m pretty sure that one ingredient is going to give off a very unique flavor.  Before I go any further I just want to mention how much I enjoy the label art of Moxie.  The label is a man in a business suit pointing at you… it’s amazing.

   Upon opening up the bottle, with a rather bland cap I might add, it smells like it’s going to be one of the most awesome, unique root beers you’ve ever had.  I would even go so far as to say that it smells like a root beer/cola mix.  Let’s drink.

   The initial taste of moxie is great!  It has that root beer cola flavor you thought you would taste after smelling it.  It’s cool, refreshing, unique… something you could really see yourself buying from here on out.  “To Hell with Coke!” you’d say “I’m a Moxie Man now!”  Then something would go wrong in your mouth.  That sweet root beer/cola taste would fade away as the Moxie started its journey down your gullet.  What was once good, would now be replaced with evil.  The taste of pennies, dirt, and un-sweetened envelope glue now dance upon your tongue.  Your first reaction is to drink some more.  “This can’t be the aftertaste,” you’d say, “More Moxie should fix this right up.”  It won’t.  Sure, as long as the liquid stays in your mouth you avoid the horrible aftertaste, but who’s going to walk around with Moxie constantly swishing around their teeth.  While I don’t agree with pouring sodas over ice, this (ironically our 100th review) is a soda which must be.  Fortunately, pouring Moxie over ice cuts the horrible after taste in half.  It’s like watching your favorite sports team do really well against someone they weren’t supposed to beat, only in the 2nd half to have your entire team break their legs.  This is such a historic drink, with such a unique flavor that I have to recommend you try it.  So there you have it, one of the oldest sodas available, and our 100th review.  The next milestone is probably 250, so be patient, and keep reading.  Thanks!

 ~A 

Thank goodness Twist's taste buds aren't real

Oogave Esteban's Cola

   I’m very excited to try this next soda, Esteban’s Cola by Oogave.Before I begin, here’s a little history on the naming of Esteban’s Cola straight from the maker himself.

“We did the sodas in our restaurant for about four months before someone came up and said "you need a name." Funny, it never occurred to us to name it. And we decided to name the rootbeer after me with a Spanish flare because of how difficult the rootbeer was to achieve. The citrus flavors.......pretty much made themselves, but when you get into savory flavors like rootbeer and cola, you are taking on a whole world of possibilities. Incidentally, the only reason the cola has my name is because "Cola" is so short a word it looked strange on the packaging.”

   There, don’t you feel smarter?By the way Oogave soda is also USDA Organic, and Kosher... I think that’s pretty much everything that we may have previously missed on the label.Bonus information, the caffeine used in Esteban’s Cola is from green tea leaves... ok less typing, more drinking.

   Here goes.First off it has a good cola smell. I know that probably sounds weird, but smell is a big part of your taste.Now I sound like a 2nd grade Science teacher.The first thing I notice is how smooth this cola is.There’s not a lot of carbonation, so it’s not really fizzy.I can’t really compare it to another well known cola, which is good on their part.Since you’re forcing my hand to compare it to something I’ve had before, it would have to be Health Cola.Stop wincing at the name Health Cola btw, if you read that review you’ll know it scored well.While Health Cola was also low on the carbonation scale, it tasted a bit flat.This does not.Just because something doesn’t have carbonation doesn’t make it “taste flat”.This cola tastes very fresh actually, and every time I drink it I taste the slightest bit of cherry.Now there are no cherries to be seen in this beverage, I’m just saying what I’m taste.

   Not that you really wanted to know this, but Esteban’s Cola produces very clean burps.No “wow that root beer tasted better the first time” moments to be had.While I haven’t had all of the Oogave products yet, this is my favorite to date.If I had to improve it in some magical way, I would add a little more carbonation.I like my drinks a little fizzier... fizzyer....fizzier?Anywho, if you see Esteban’s Cola just buy it.

~A

Doesn't Twist look dapper in his black hat off to the side?

Tab

---

To bust into year two of The Soda Jerks, not only do we have a soda which both of us reviewed, I decided to do something out of the ordinary and review a drink which is:

a. Name brand

b. In a can (although it’s happened before)

c. Diet

That’s the big one. Diet. Honestly I thought if a diet soda was going to be reviewed that it would be, what else, a Virgil’s product, but no, I decided to try the granddaddy of them all, Tab.

Anyone who watches The Sarah Silverman Show knows that Tab is delicious, or at least sarcastically delicious. This is one of those things that every soda sommelier, professor of pop or cola connoisseur has to try once in their life.

It’s actually not that bad, although it’s 99% chemicals. This is probably the best diet soda I’ve ever had. Note that best diet soda doesn’t mean it’s anything great, it’s just the best of the diet sodas I’ve had.

I really don’t know what else to say. Tab is something you have to experience yourself. The best way I can describe it is Diet Coke but not anywhere near as awful. It’s cheap and still readily available so go get yourself one for funsies.

-Mike

Health Cola

When I first eyed Health Cola on the shelves at my local market place I knew I was going to end up drinking it. I thought "Wow 'Health Cola' can it sound any worse." Then I looked on the back label and saw that it had 150% of the Vitamin C I needed in a day. Wow, this has gotta be like drinking mud. I had already been jaded by other "healthy cola's" such as Diet Coke Plus... which is horrible. Never in the history of earth does sweet + healthy = tasty. Diet Rootbeer is a perfect example as well, as it is a hell-spawned beverage. Health Cola looked like it would be following those examples perfectly. With its name, somewhat boring package, and boring tag line of "Real Cola Taste". Let me just get this out of the way now. I was wrong to judge it. I'm so very sorry Health Cola, I'm so very, very, very, sorry.

Health Cola has a pretty good taste, nay, a GREAT taste. If you are a fan of RC Cola in the slightest, just improve that flavor in your mind a bit, and remove some of the carbonation, and you have health cola. The sugar used is from fruit, so it has a slow burn which keeps the 'crash' after consumption from happening. The caffeine used is from coffee beans. Now listen to me coffee haters, I am one of you. I HATE coffee, and this tastes nothing like coffee, I wouldn't drink it if it did. This is the best all around cola I think I've had to date. Just for kicks, here's the nutrition label.

Usually when I buy a four pack of soda's it costs me over $5, but Health Cola ran under that, which is always a plus in my book. It's not the easiest cola to find, but if you can, give it a try. If I had to pick a negative, it's the lack of screw off cap, but really I don't care that much. I know there is better stuff out there, but I haven't tasted it yet.

~A

(Note:  This beverage was provided to us by Health Cola)