Jarritos Strawberry

For my review today I picked something I know will probably be good… because it’s Jarritos.  Jarritos has one of the strongest lines of soda I’ve come across.  Who would have known that when I was a teenager my choice of picking the “alternative soda” was actually a great idea?  You see my best friend and I would stay at each other’s house overnight on some weekends and to make sure that we stayed up late we’d have to hit up the corner store for some soda.  How could you possibly play Golden Eye/Resident Evil/Rampage for 18 hours straight without it?  We picked Jarritos not because it was made with cane sugar, had a great taste, or had amazing flavors.  We picked it because it was weird to us.  Mexican soda?  WHAT?!  That’s crazy!  It’s funny and sad how “other worldly” Jarritos seemed at the time but I’m very happy to be drinking it now, hopefully appreciating it to its fullest extent.  Oh… by the way.  Today’s drink is Jarritos Strawberry!  You know the drill.

This smells like a syrupy strawberry soda.  My nostrils can taste the sweetness that will soon be on my tongue.  I’d go on but my drink is warming up… I do actually drink and write these at the same time you know. 

Wow… that’s a much lighter mouth feel that I was expecting.  Here I was thinking it was going to be heavy and syrupy but once again I’ve been surprised by Jarritos.  It starts off as a somewhat light and bubbly strawberry soda and finishes with a heavier feel.  My tongue can still feel the bubbles well after it’s gone down my gullet adding to the pleasurable experience.  You get most of the sweetness about 3/4ths through your gulp.  It’s like the sweet strawberry flavoring is waiting in the shadows ready to pounce but then jumps a bit earlier than it wanted too.  Your tongue is attacked by the carnivorous strawberry but fights it off only to walk away with a few battle scars in its remembrance.  Wave after wave of tiny, vicious strawberry attacks doing its best to thwart your tongue but no… your tongue is a warrior.  Your tongue has taken on envelope glue, 9 volt batteries, and even Malta Hatuey.  These tiny delicious strawberries are no match and show as such when they burst into tiny fizzy bubbles upon their death.  At the end of the battle your tongue is stained red with their blood.  Suddenly a warm strawberry scented breeze blows from the south.  Your tongue now knows that its job is done and lays dormant until the next meeting.  One more thing...

~A

(This bottle was given to us by Jarritos)

Faux Fact:  All sensations feel bubbly to iguanas.

Jelly Belly Crushed Pineapple

   Hey everybody, it’s time for another Jelly Belly soda review!  I’m not sure why I started this review out with such fanfare.  It’s not like everyone waits with great anticipation for me to write another Jelly Belly soda review… especially since I’ve only reviewed Jelly Belly Juicy Pear.  Anyway, today we’ve got Jelly Belly Crushed Pineapple to try and I’m raring to give it a go.  Of course like the last Jelly Belly soda it’s made with 100% Cane Sugar and naturally flavored.  Sadly it still houses the demon known as Sodium Benzoate.  Well enough chatter, let’s open up the bottle imprisoning the yellow sugar water and give it a go.

   Wow… this doesn’t smell like pineapple as much as it smells like pineapple cake.  I wasn’t really expecting that but it’s a welcome surprise.  I’m a big fan of pineapple upside down cake so hopefully this drink is a liquefied version of such.  Although assuming that may just lead me down heartbreak road.  You know what happens when you assume don’t you?  It makes an ass of you… the reader… not me… but you.  Time to drink!

   Aaaand here comes the positive review.  This is the best pineapple soda I’ve ever had.  It does taste a bit like pineapple upside down cake but it mostly reminds me of a Dole-Whip.  For those of you who are unaware of the magic that is a Dole-Whip let me explain.  A Dole-whip is soft serve pineapple ice cream.  You can even put said pineapple ice cream into pineapple juice making it a Dole-Whip Float.  There are only three places that you can consume just magical splendor:  The Dole Plantation in Hawaii, In Disneyland right outside of the Enchanted Tiki Room, at WDW in Adventureland and also in the Polynesian Resort, and finally at some place called Jumpin' Jack's Drive-In in Scotia, NY.  I used to work at WDW and even sold a Dole Whip or 8 billion at one time so I’m fairly familiar with them.  Needless to say even though I’m not wacky for pineapples I’m a colossal fan of Dole-Whips.  Seriously… next chance you get you should try one.  No, no… I’ll just wait for you all to try one.  Go on, save up your money.  I’ll wait.

(Read this next part in a few years.  Take your time, I’m in no rush.)

   We all caught up now?  Good, it was worth it wasn’t it?  So now that it’s several years in the future from when you started this article go ahead and stop in your local SodaJerks Poppery and have a cold Jelly Belly Crush Pineapple to compare.  It should be rather easy to do as we’re on every corner.  As you now know, Jelly Belly Pineapple soda isn’t as sweet as a Dole-Whip though and of course it doesn’t have the cream flavoring either but it’s a very good soda.  The carbonation level is low allowing more of the pineapple flavoring to penetrate your palate.  I really don’t think that this would be a beverage you’d have with a meal though either.  Jelly Belly Crushed Pineapple seems more like a dessert drink or something you’d enjoy while sitting in the shade on a hot day.  With all that said I should probably just rate it.  I mean you’ve waited this long, there’s no need to leave you waiting any more.

Aaron Manahan

CEO of SodaJerks Enterprises

Twist is head of sercurity now... just mind your S's and J's and no one will get hurt.

Zuberfizz Cola

My experience with Zuberfizz has been well documented.  The short story is this… when the batch isn’t watery it tastes great!  The only problem is that I’ve come across more watery batches than I thought I ever would.  With that said let’s reach into the Ice Box and pull out a Zuberfizz Cola.  Same simplistic art on the bottle that I enjoy so much coupled with one of my favorite bottle caps to date.  Glad to see that the art never gets watered down… now let’s find out about the drink.

The odor wafting from the bottle is one rich in cola flavor.  I’d like to point out that those flavors turned odor are all natural as well!  Zuberfizz always has top notch ingredients and in part usually has a great aroma.  Smell is one thing to be excited about but it won’t tell us if this batch is watery.  For that we need to drink!

While I’m not sure if this is the actual achieved flavor I taste.  The flavor could be much stronger… and it could be much weaker, so there’s no telling.  The mouth feel of Zuberfizz Cola is very neutral but that’s ok because it works.  It has about as much fizz as a 2 liter that was opened the day before, so don’t think going into this you’re not going to experience any carbonation.  The flavor I’m greeted with is no doubt cola but it doesn’t find any similarity to Coke, Pepsi, or RC.  I didn’t realize how sweet this tasted until I didn’t drink it for a bit.  My mouth has a slight sugary film coating it much like a veil on a bride.  That was just an overly romantic way of saying that the film isn’t bad at all… it just exists and that’s ok.  Unlike the veil you can never remove the film which I’m sure after a while might get annoying.  “How many foggy days in a row has it been now, Dave?”  “It hasn’t been foggy all week Jane… you’re veil, remember?”  “Oh yes, how silly of me!   I don’t know why I don’t ever take my veil off?”  “I think you’re trying to strengthen some lame analogy in a soda review.”  “What?” “Never mind.”  Leaving Dave and Jane alone I leave you, the reader, with this.  Zuberfizz Cola is good.  Its ingredients are good.  Its bottle art is good but it just doesn’t stand out to me amongst a cola heavy market.

~A

(This Soda was supplied to us by Zuberfizz)

That's not a pineapple behind Twist... it's an Iguana Fruit ready to bloom.

Olde Brooklyn Orange Soda

   It’s been a while since I’ve done a review but thankfully a few citizens of the Carbonation have produced some outstanding reviews in my absence.  The site has a new look which I hope you like and I’m about to reference one of our newest sections!  The soda I’m pulling out of the Ice Box today is Olde Brooklyn Orange Soda.  The bottle art is what I assume to be the Brooklyn Bridge.  There’s also a nifty orange explosion happening on the neck of the bottle as well.  Other than those two things the bottle is fairly undecorated.  Looking at the ingredients shows us an assortment of interesting facts.  It’s sweetened with cane sugar which is always a positive but the thing that catches my attention even more is the nutrition label.  Apparently one bottle of this contains 2% of the calcium and 15% of the iron you need in a day.  I’m not sure if I’ve ever had an orange soda that had any iron in it at all, points to Olde Brooklyn Orange Soda for having this.  Enough with the chatter, let’s open this up.

   While the orange scent isn’t the strongest example I’ve ever encountered it’s still prevalent.  I’d say the majority of other orange sodas smell smell more sweetly of this .  Hopefully this will be a unique experience.  Time to find out.

   Well I can honestly say that I’ve never tasted an orange soda like this before.   It’s not nearly as tart as I thought it would be but I was correct in guessing that it wouldn’t be as sweet either.  The carbonation level is also fairly low.  It’s like you took a standard orange soda (Sunkist, Crush, etc) and muted the experience just a little bit.  “Oh no!” you say, “Guess we should just chalk this up as a loss.”  Wait, wait, wait, you random person that always seems to find their way into my house.  The muted orange flavoring actually works pretty well for Olde Brooklyn Orange Soda.  Many orange sodas are rather harsh on the throat not fully quenching your thirst.  Olde Brooklyn Orange Soda’s muted experience allows for more thirst quenching.  Just as the sharp mouth feel a soda brings can be a positive attribute for a soda the lack thereof helps set Olde Brooklyn Orange Soda apart from some of the other brands it might be competing against.  With that said…

Make sure when you enjoy your Olde Brooklyn Orange soda you do so with an iguana and a glass pineapple

Jarritos Mexican Cola

   Jarritos does such a great job making sodas that we’ve reviewed every one of them so far… except Strawberry.  Our bottle of strawberry was lost to some goblins in a fan’s house.  One day… one day.  Any who, imagine my joy when a fan of ours, “AX2”, brought me a bottle of Jarritos Mexican Cola.  I wasn’t even aware Jarritos sold a cola in the United States so I had to research.  What I found was that Jarritos Mexican Cola had run an ad campaign with the sentence “It Crossed!” as the slogan.  I can only assume that this means it has only recently found a home here across the border.  Doesn’t matter though because I’m raring to try it! 

   After tracking down my bottle opener  for this twist proof cap I am welcomed by a robust soda aroma wafting from the lip of the bottle.  It’s a stronger cola smell than Coke produces so hopefully we’re looking at a strong contender in the best cola category.  Time for some drinkin’.

   Very nice!  Just the right amount of carbonation and a great cola taste.  It’s not as strong or acidic feeling on the throat as Coke is but Jarritos Mexican Cola definitely gets the point across.  There’s something a little different with the cola flavor in this soda than in others and I can’t quite put my finger on it.  It’s almost as if they put more syrup in it than you would think they would be able to.  This doesn’t weigh down the beverage, in fact it’s almost like they made the cola flavor more efficient.  I could find a mathematical formula to represent this but that would be boring and very inaccurate.  Oh heck here’s  one anyway:

   It’s almost as if they condensed the cola flavoring so that you get more than you would think per sip.  Like I said… I can’t put my finger on it.  Cinnamon maybe?  I dunno.  The big question is, “Is it better than Coke/Pepsi/RC?”  The answer is yes.  Jarritos of course uses sugar so that already gives it a leg up on the competition.  With that said, and sugar aside, the flavor/mouth feel from Jarritos Mexican Cola is better than that of the big boys.  I would choose this every time over “Red” or “Blue”.  If you can get some Jarritos Mexican Cola in your area do so, in fact…

~A

Twist needs a Mexican brother named Disparar for cases like this

Black Lemonade

   Keeping with the nautical theme I decided to grab a bottle out of my fridge that has skull and crossbones on it.  It’s a short, stout bottle, a somewhat unique shape I rather like to hold when drinking a soda.  Adorned above the skull and crossbones are the words “Black Lemonade”.  That appears to be the name of the beverage and the coloring is indeed black, so let’s look a bit more closely shall we?  Around the skull there are humorous sayings like, “Animal testing was consentual”, “This may be your only way out”, “We want you for life”, and “Without a face, you’re just a bonehead”.  The bottle cap is definitely a keeper.  It’s a skeleton drinking a red soda but the soda is just pouring through his face.  Silly skeleton… soda is for the skin covered.  So from the label and bottle cap we can tell that the folks who make this have a sense of humor.  Hopefully they like good ingredients as well.  Oh neat they put the ingredients right on the bottle!  Who’d have thought!  Cane sugar, citric acid, lemon concentrate, lemon oil, some coloring, a bunch of crazy Ginseng, African Capsicum, Brazilian Guarana, Kola Nut, Skull Cap, and of course Sodium Benzoate.  Well aside from that last ingredient they seem to take their stuff pretty seriously.  Hopefully the taste reflects it.  Of course you know we can’t taste it until we smell it.

   Smells like lemonade… so no real surprise there.  I guess it doesn’t taste like fresh brewed lemonade but I’m ok with that since you can’t really expect anything  in a bottle to be freshly brewed.

   This tastes like liquid lemon/lime Twang to me.  For those who don’t know, Twang is a flavored salt that you can usually buy little packets of at your local gas station counter.  You definitely get the lemon flavoring you’d expect paired with an unexpectedly sour burst of flavor.  It’s not overly sour but you do get a nice(?) burn in the stomach from it.  Black Lemonade is not really that refreshing of a beverage, so there’s no need to replace all of your regular lemonade with this.  I know you were looking for a reason to replace all of your normal lemonade… sorry to get your hopes up.  It definitely leaves a lasting impression on your mouth as no portion of this drink is smooth.  Picture yourself driving a 1977 Gremlin without any shocks (I used a Gremlin in this example because the word itself is awesome.)  Now your yellow Gremlin is cruising down a cobblestone road… that’s when you first take a sip.  As your mouth takes note of what you just ingested your Gremlin is now reaching the end of the cobblestone road only to slide down a very rocky mountain… perhaps one of the Rocky Mountains.  Just as you think this rough ride is over you complete your sip of Black Lemonade.  With this completed sip your mouth and throat receive a harsh “Gremlin driving over landmines during an earthquake” feel.  Of course those are all exaggerated examples but truly this is one of the harshest beverages I’ve ever had the pleasure of tasting.  With that said I’m not sure I’d want to consume one everyday but that’s ok.  Soda isn’t meant for normal consumption… it’s a treat.  In this case though, the treat tricks you just a bit.  Oh joy I worked in a Halloween reference during the month of January. Topical!

~A

Twist has stared death in the face countless times.  Guess who keeps looking away.

Capt'n Eli's Root Beer

   I love good bottle art.  Bottle art is what I initially grade a soda on so it always confuses me when companies seem like they don’t care about it.  I’m not saying everything has to be “Wizard mural on the side of a van” epic but it at least needs to stand out amongst the others.  When I opened my fridge today to pick out a soda to review I wasn’t quite sure what to choose until I saw the bottle art on my current review.  Capt’n Eli’s Root Beer has a label that tells a story… not many other root beers can say that.   Actually I don’t believe that root beer can talk but that’s a debate for another time.

   What you see when you look at the label of Capt’n Eli’s Root Beer is a young child, which I will assume is Eli, rowing a boat out at sea.  The waves seem a bit choppy for such a young kid but don’t fear too much for him as a house is in sight over his right shoulder and growing ever closer.  Upon his left shoulder sits a parrot that I am now naming Murphy.  Murphy and Eli have been together about 2 years, and since parrots live such long lives you’ll be sure to see Murphy on Eli’s shoulder for several decades more.  Within the boat Eli is rowing sit 3 barrels.  I can only imagine that these barrels are filled with root beer.  I guess it could be rum, or oil, or tar, or unicorn blood, or even cream soda but since this is a bottle of root beer let’s stick with that.  So the story here to me is that Capt’n Eli (which I suspect is a title he gave himself) has a root beer route.  A root beer route is much like a paper route but the people on your route like you more since your product is delicious.  About two years ago on this root beer route Eli noticed that one of his barrels was leaking. He did all he could to plug up the hole but failed.  Shortly after he gave up a Scarlet Macaw flew down from a nearby tree and began drinking the spilled root beer.  Well it turns out that this bird took to liking the bubbly concoction and Eli.  Ever since that fateful day Murphy the parrot has ridden with Eli on his root beer route, always looking to sneak a sip whenever he can.  Oh the adventure they went on… but that’s for another day.

   Enough about those two, they have a business to run.  Let’s see what else we can find on this label.  Hey look ingredients and good ones at that.  Let’s see what we got here:  Water, Cane Sugar, Caramel Coloring, Natural & Artificial Flavors including Wintergreen Oil, Anise, Vanilla, Spices, Herbs, Citric Acid, and sadly Sodium Benzoate.  Wow, we were almost 100% great with those ingredients until we came upon ol’ Sodium Benzoate.  That list of ingredients reminded me a little bit of the ingredients you’d find in a Virgil’s Root Beer.  If they’re lucky then their flavor will be something close to it as well.  Let’s take a whiff.

   The first thing I notice is that you can really smell the wintergreen.  Capt’n Eli’s Root Beer has a very strong root beer aroma as well.  I think the word I’m trying to think of here is “rooty”.  Time to drink!

   Very nice, this ranks up there as one of the smoothest root beers I’ve ever tasted.  The carbonation is faint as far as root beer is concerned and the flavor mellows out a lot in its finish.  The middle portion of this beverage reminds me a little bit of root beer barrels candy.  Now normally I’d try and tell you which of the three main stream root beers this tasted like… Barq’s, A&W, or Mug.  For the first time ever I have to compare the flavor to that of Virgil’s.  Now I’m not saying it’s better than Virgil’s but I am saying that it should at least share a flavor comparison.  This shouldn’t come to you as a shock since they share a handful of ingredients that other root beers do not.  I do find it odd that I’m ending up with a bit of film in my mouth after each sip.  I didn’t think I would have this since it’s sweetened with cane sugar but there it is.  At least the film isn’t unpleasant.  With each lick of the top of my mouth I’m reminded of the root beer barrel candy flavoring again, although now it’s much fainter.  I’m noticing that as I reach the bottom of the bottle the wintergreen flavor increases.  This is a good thing in my opinion since it allows those of you who couldn’t taste the wintergreen another more obvious chance at it.  Overall this is a very good root beer.  It has a nice line up of ingredients, sans the Sodium Benzoate.  The flavor is above average and the labeling is fun.  I can only hope that other companies take notice of labels like this and begin to rethink their designs as well. 

~A

Twist's favorite flavor is parrot.

Jelly Belly Juicy Pear

   Jelly Belly Jelly Bean Co. makes soda!  Who knew?  Apparently lots of people since this is sold at Walgreens.  As you might have guessed by the title of this article and the previous sentence, I have a Jelly Belly soda in front of me.  The particular flavor that’s gracing my palate today is Juicy Pear.  Now I don’t believe I’ve ever had a pear soda before so this could get rather dicey.  Ok, I’m not sure if “dicey” is the correct word but it was typed and I don’t feel like hitting the Backspace key that many times to correct my mistake.  The label is fairly simple in the fact that they use what looks like a clip-art pear combined with actual pictures of the Jelly Belly Juicy Pear jelly beans so that you won’t get confused as to what this flavor is based on.  The color is a vibrant pear-esque green which is very pleasing to the eye.  Time to take a whiff.

   Personally I can’t get a strong smell out of the top of this bottle but today I have enlisted the help of Ma Bla XL in reviewing this beverage.  I chose him to help for two reasons.   The first reason is that he’s here next to me so I figured I might as well get his opinion.  Reason number two is that he’s a candy affectionado.  The man knows his candy, making this seem like the perfect soda for him to help with.   Ma Bla XL is drinking his ration out of a styro-foam cup so he has a bit more surface area to work with when it comes to smell.  He believes that it smells exactly like Jelly Belly Juicy Pear jelly beans.  I’ll have to take his word on it.  Let’s move on.

   Yeesh.  The first thing I taste is a very chemically flavored pear.  It’s not the chemicals in the soda that produce this artificial taste, I really think that’s the flavor that they were going for and it’s just not agreeing with my taste buds.  It takes a while to meander your way through the chemical pear flavoring but once you do you’re not greeted with anything worth your journey.  There’s an appropriate amount of fizz but that’s not enough to save this soda in my opinion.  Ma Bla XL, on the other hand, says this tastes exactly like Jelly Belly Juicy Pear with a slight hint of burning.

~A

Ma Bla XL's take on Twist since he was not on hand

Henry Weinhard's Orange Cream

   Good ol’ Henry Weinhard is back in my grasp, except this time he’s the flavor of dreams…icles.  That’s right the same Henry Weinhard that makes Henry Weinhard’s Black Cherry Cream Soda also makes Henry Weinhard’s Orange Cream.  Who’d have guessed?!  The ingredients on the side say that this beverage has a “blend of select oranges, mandarins, and real vanilla”.  Well that’s good enough for me… oh wait.  The added “complexity and character” comes from “a blend of lemon, lime, Chinese ginger, nutmeg, lemon grass, and angelica root”.  This is some pretty fancy-dancy orange cream soda.  Way to many words, not enough drinking.  It’s time to move on

   The orange cream aroma is not a shy one.  Once I opened the bottle my nostrils were treated with a barrage of orange and vanilla.  Pretend its April Fools’ Day but you’re heading off to bed.  You’ve manage to go all day without getting tricked.  Sure enough before you head up the stairs your doorbell rings.  “Well who could that be?” you ask aloud, only to be answered by the meow of your cat.  You cry a little inside thinking of what might have happened if, JUST IF, you had talked to the girl at the gas pump.  Maybe you wouldn’t be so lonely.  Maybe Snugglepuff would like her new mommy for once.  Maybe you’re going a little crazy.  Opening the door you look around for who might have come calling for you.  The black night sky greets you, and nothing more.  “Heh,” you chuckle to yourself, “I guess I did get fooled after all.”  Before you can turn around you hear a rustling in your bushes.  You squint your eyes making out the faint outline of a man.  POW! A peeled orange hits you square on the nose; your nostrils now filled with the scurvy fighting juice.  Before you can react to the citrus onslaught, the guy that didn’t bring oranges runs up to you and rubs vanilla scented potpourri all over your face.  “THAT’S NOT EVEN A TRICK!” you yell into the night upon uncaring ears. 

   That is what I imagined when I first opened this bottle.  I never do my pointless rants during the smell portion of the review, so I figured I’d mix it up a little.  Anyway, I should probably drink this now.

   This, my fellow jerks, is excellent orange cream soda.  The orange has the citrus tart you want to find in an orange soda but there’s a bonus this time that your normal orange soda doesn’t have.  As long as you swish this around you don’t lose the great orange flavor, which would be a good flavor for a soda all by itself.  The moment you stop the smooth vanilla begins to dissipate the once tart orange.  Eventually the orange is overtaken by the vanilla giving Henry Weinhard’s Orange Cream a delightfully smooth finish.  The mouth feel changes so much from initial sip to finish I’m a little bit amazed.  The aftertaste you’re left with is that of the smooth vanilla, the orange is almost nowhere to be found until you burp.  I know that’s a bit crass, but the duality of this beverage is very unique.  To be honest with you I was a little hesitant to try this because I was slightly let down by the black cherry cream soda.  Henry Weinhard did not disappoint this go around though.  This is honestly the best orange cream soda I’ve had to date.

~A

You can almost see the resemblance

Jarritos Toronja

   Again we dip from the Jarritos well of flavors, this time pulling out Toronja (which is Spanish for grapefruit).  Now early on in my soda reviewing timeline I thought I didn’t like grapefruit soda thanks to childhood memories I had of Fresca.  Thankfully the fine folks at Oogave made a delicious grapefruit soda that removed any thought in my brain that grapefruit couldn’t be good.  I don’t know if grapefruit is a newer flavor with Jarritos but the bottle art on the side seems much more modern and eye catching than their normal bottle art.  I like it!  Enough of the jibbering and the jabbering… let’s open this up.

   As you might think upon smelling this beverage you get the scent of citrus… a centrus if you will.  Grapefruit isn’t really known for its powerful aroma so I’m not too worried about the light amount of centrus.  We could huff this all day and not really find anything else out, so let’s try drinking it instead.

   These are literally the first words that popped in my head after the first drink:  Sprite. No, not Sprite.  Grapefruit.  Nice. Fizzy.    Now I normally have more complicated thoughts than that, but for some reason my brain decided to simplify the review process.  Just think, you now have an insider’s look into what this article is being built around.  I guess I could break down the words for you so that it doesn’t seem like I have no ability to elaborate.  “Sprite,” means just that.  My initial reaction was “wow this tastes a lot like Sprite when you first drink it.  “No, not Sprite,” was my brain pulling back the first thought and telling me “wait… this isn’t what you thought it was.”  “Grapefruit,” is obviously what I began to taste as this point in the consumption.  “Nice,” was how pleasant the grapefruit flavor was to my palette.  “Fizzy,” was the barrage of bubble I received on my tongue after I had completed the first sip.  Now all of that happened in about 3 seconds time, so if you feel like doing the math to figure out how long each thought lasted more power to you.  Jarritos Toronja is a very light beverage which allows it to be refreshing as well as tasty.  You could make a friend easily by giving this to someone who’s working outside, sweating, and looking generally miserable.  With that said you’d need more than one so that you could enjoy it as well.

~A

Note: This soda was given to us by Jarritos.

Twist was triple dog dared to lick this ice cold bottle.

Jarritos Fruit Punch

   Who doesn’t like fruit punch?  Raise your hand.  Ok… the three of you in the world that don’t enjoy some aspect of fruit punch may leave.  The rest of you get to watch The Muppet Movie!  Sadly no, I tricked you.  The rest of you get to now read my review of Jarritos Fruit Punch!  I expect great things from this soda as Jarritos really hasn’t let me down yet, and the fruit punch “flavor” has a very liberal taste definition amongst other drinks.  My initial gaze at the bottle immediately notices its healthy red color which pops (HA!) nicely to the eye.  Enough chatter, let’s get started.

   The initial scent reminded me of what I might smell if I was eating a fruit punch sno-cone.  It’s definitely a sweet smell but not overly sweet if my nose is indeed telling the truth.  I really thought the scent would be a bit more powerful but I really have to inhale at the lip of the bottle to really get any scent at all.  You’re never going to accidentally smell this.  Ok, on to the fun part.

   The first thing my mouth feels when I take a swig is a barrage of tiny carbonation bubbles, so much that the initial flavor is masked by them.  They quickly give way to what I can best describe as a strawberry/cherry/slight citrusy flavor.  Honestly, I can’t identify every fruit in this particular fruit punch.  It’s sweet but as I assumed by its smell not overly so.  You could drink this with a meal and not be worried about spoiling dessert.  As quickly as the flavor hits your tongue it begins to leave.  Sure there are remnants of it left within the walls of your mouth but the real memory comes from the bubbly burning sensation left on your tongue.  It’s like world history in your mouth.  Your tongue is a new country and the carbonation bubbles show up to live there.  They’re happy, they’re cool, and they have families, and carbo-dogs and such.  Meanwhile the fruit punch flavoring is getting a big jealous so it decides to show up and crush the carbonation with delicious flavors.  Being frail, the bubbles succumb to this attack and vanish for the time being.  Happy in its victory, the flavor continues on into your body looking for other things to conquer.  Little does the flavor know that it’s all downhill from here.  Meanwhile, a few bubbles have survived the onslaught and begin to rebuild on your tongue.  “What an enjoyable sensation!” you say.  Your words cause tremendous earthquakes amongst the bubble population causing mass hysteria, and eventually the bubbles are no more.  After both the bubbles and flavor have left your mouth the indigenous taste buds come out and cheer… for they are the true victors in this story. 

~A

Note: This soda was given to us by Jarritos.

Twist's favorite Muppet is Rowlf.

Cascal Light Red

   So I saw a bottle of what I thought was a soda called Cas Cal… but it turns out that’s the actual companies name.  First off that reminds me of a dish detergent name but I don’t know why.  Then I searched the bottle for the name of the flavor it incased and the best I could find was “Light Red”.  Fortunately the bottle also included the fact that the soda had “notes” of black current, cherry, and mirabelle, which is apparently a variety of plum.  So I take this bottle to Mike’s so that we may record a Popcast about it, and in the process of studying the bottle I learn that almost everything in this is fermented.  Sigh.  I’m not a big fan of the fermented sodas but needless to say it still needs to be reviewed. 

   This smells horrible.  Ok, maybe horrible is too strong a word but this isn’t anything I would normally ingest without some sort of compensation.  Today’s compensation is the fact that I later get to post this article to our fellow citizens of the Carbo-Nation.  Time for consumption.

   Amazingly it doesn’t taste nearly as horrible as it smells, so I guess it’s got that going for it. One delightful thing about this is the fact that it’s very lightly carbonated.  There is a slight fruity flavor, but honestly there is nothing special here.  I occasionally get the slight flavor of tea but the fermentation is warping the “light red” flavor to the point where I really don’t want to finish this bottle.  I feel badly making this such a short review but honestly there is nothing else that needs to be said about this.  It has light carbonation and a slight but warped fruit flavor tainted by fermentation.  This is a big ol’ bottle of Meh.

~A

Light Red... more like Light Dead. Sigh.  Twist always wrote the witty captions.

Jarritos Lime Soda

   Please be good.  Please, please, please be the best lime soda I’ve ever had.  Oh!  Hi there, Aaron here from TheSodaJerks.net.  Perhaps you saw me begging and pleading with this bottle of Jarritos Lime Soda to be of excellent quality and taste.  If so, I’m very sorry to have embarrassed you like that.  If not… well then you don’t read our reviews very carefully do you?  As you may know I have a dream of finding a great lime soda but that dream has not been realized yet.  Hopefully today Jarritos will show me that my dream is not of the “pipe” variety.  Let’s open this up and see where it takes us. 

   Upon smelling the opening of the bottle I notice a very slight lime scent.  This of course is somewhat promising, but how much of that promise will translate into a delicious lime taste?  There’s only one way to answer that question… drink the soda.  I guess we could have someone else drink it, and then allow them to review the soda for us but that wouldn’t be much fun would it?  Here goes.

   I’m… I’m liking this.  Fortunately this is not one of those lime sodas where it just tastes like you’re drinking off brand 7-Up.  While I wouldn’t compare it to cutting open a lime and sucking out the sour goodness, I also wouldn’t compare this to lime flavored candy either.  The flavor I’m experiencing here is in the middle of those two places, not too sour, not too candy sweet, in fact it’s very pleasant.  Jarritos Lime Soda starts off without a lot of bite but as its incredible journey through the mouth continues the carbonation seems to attack your throat with a barrage of tiny bubbles. 

   The aftertaste that is left is slight, but delightfully sweet.  This is also a very refreshing beverage with a somewhat light mouth feel, one I would enjoy on a hot day.  That must sound kind of silly.  “What kind of soda wouldn’t be good on a hot day, YOU FOOL?!”  First off… cool it.  Secondly, there are several beverages that might sit heavily in your stomach.  For example strawberry soda is one you might not want to chug after playing cartoon freeze tag with all your friends.  Well all your friends except Tyler since he’s a jerk and all.  I can’t believe he borrowed Super Dodge Ball from you and when you finally got it back it wouldn’t work.  You tried to play it but you just kept getting the title screen and some weird jumbled version of the title screen flashing back and forth while the first second of the title music repeats over and over again.  What kind of friend ruins your favorite Nintendo game?  No friend of mine.  Getting back on track though, you could chug that strawberry soda but be prepared to watch all your friends recall in horror as you seem to lose more blood than humanly possible through your mouth.  What a delightful mental picture that is! 

   Back to this, now empty, bottle of Jarritos Lime Soda.  While I will not say that my dream has been fulfilled, Jarritos Lime Soda is the best lime flavored soda I’ve had to date.  With that said my rating may hold a bit of a bias.  I have just had the best lime soda I’ve ever tasted, and lime soda might not be all that important to you.  With that said, know that this is a definite buy but that my rating is as follows.

~A

(Note:  This beverage was provided to us by Jarritos.)

Faux Fact:  Twist is lime flavored.

Maine Root Blueberry Soda

   Let me start off this review, which you would know the outcome of if you listened to Popcast Episode 29, by stating the fact that I’m not all that fond of blueberries.  I like blueberry muffins but that’s pretty much where my love for the tiny spherical fruit ends.  I do not like them in the raw; I do not like them in my jaw.  I do not want them in my cakes; they make my taste buds slightly ache.  I will not eat them with a goat; I will not eat them in a moat.  I do not like the berries blue; but I would not mind a new kazoo.  There… point made.  On the other hand this is Maine Root Blueberry Soda.  Maine Root sodas are known for including fair trade ingredients with an excellent quality about them.  Hopefully that will help sway the flavor to something closer to my liking.  On with the drinking!

   Ok, so I haven’t tasted it yet but if you’ve read any of my reviews you know that I huff my beverage first to get you a little bit more information about them.  This one smells remarkably like blueberries but not overly so.  It’s a nice sweet smell without being too powerful.  No without further adieu… the first sip.

   Delicious!  This is a fantastic soda!  The blueberry flavoring (created by using actual blueberry juice) is flavored just right.  This isn’t as tart as a raw blueberry would be, nor is it as sweet as you might find in a pie.  I compare the aftertaste to that of a blueberry muffin, without the warm bread of course.  For someone who isn’t all that fond of blueberries I must say that I’m highly impressed.  For a company to make me like something I normally do not is truly a success on their part!  Maine Root Blueberry Soda also packs the perfect amount of carbonation for its flavor.  It’s not necessarily a smooth beverage but a blueberry soda shouldn’t be in my opinion.  Sorry if my words seem a little jumbled but I’m generally excited about this soda.  The only downside I’ve noticed is that the flavor degrades the warmer the bottle gets.  I know this is common with all sodas but this one seems to be doing so at a much quicker pace.  So as I chug the last bit of Maine Root Blueberry Soda I’ll leave you with this… the rating.

~A

It stands alone in awesome blueberry taste... on a Formica counter top

Jarritos Mango

   Continuing the Jarritos reviews, we now have Jarritos Mango to experience.  When I think of this exquisite fruit all that floods my mind are these scholarly words.  "Can you know the mighty ocean?  Can you lasso a star from the sky?  Can you say to a rainbow... 'Hey, stop being a rainbow for a second'?  No!  Such is Mango!"  While I’m not sure if the intellectual that spoke those words is absolutely right with their description of mango, it does indeed have a very unique flavor.  I’m excited; you’re excited, let’s drink.

   What a great aroma this Jarritos Mango produces.  Since I somewhat know what I’m to expect here, this exceeds what I did expect.  It’s a very rich and robust mango scent that emits from the top of the bottle.  Enough of the chit chat; let us partake in my first mango soda.

   CURSE YOU NOSE!  My nose always seems to be the hype engine when it comes to soda.  Recently the smell seems to be stronger than the taste in the sodas I’ve reviewed.  With that said, this is still a very nice soda.  You definitely get a punch of mango to the back of the throat almost instantly.  The mango flavor is easily identified, and the aftertaste is delightful as well.  This has more of a soda mouth feel than what I thought it would, strong, tart, and to the point.  To improve this though I think I would make it a little bit creamier of a soda.  I want less punch to the throat and more ‘sitting on a beach’ relaxation.   Mango soda should be smooth in my opinion, and a bit more flavorful than what Jarritos has done here.  This, of course, is my opinion.  If you’re a fan of the mango, or even if you’re not, you should still try this soda.

~A

(Note:  This beverage was provided to us by Jarritos.)

Twist, sadly, is allergic to Mangoes

HEB Original Cola

   What sits in front of me today is a marvel of the world, but then again I’m not that well traveled.  HEB Original Cola is the name of the game: a store brand cola.  If you haven’t guessed by now, HEB is a grocery store here in Texas.  As far as grocery store chains go… this one is definitely in my Top Three.  “Why is this HEB Original Cola a marvel?” you ask?  It’s made with pure cane sugar.  THANK YOU!  A store brand cola made with pure cane sugar!  HEB Original Cola also doesn’t have any sodium benzoate polluting it either!  The art on the outside of the can is retro and unlike anything you’d see branded by a grocery store.  With all that said this still needs to taste delicious.  So let us find out together. 

   The smell that comes from this cream colored can is definitely that of cola.  You could wave this in front of my nose and I’d probably guess it was a Coke or an RC Cola.  I’m not the best sniffer in the world, but the aroma seems to be a combination of the two.  Enough chatter, more drink!

   Very nice.  HEB Original Cola tastes like a Coke but without as much of the bite.  That’s not to say its’ bite isn’t noticeable, in fact it’s quite pleasant.  As much as I’d love to sing the praises of this cola’s amazing flavor, it’s going to be pretty hard to.  There is nothing in the flavor that sets it apart from Coke, Pepsi, or RC… but that is where it achieves victory.  This is a store brand cola sold at a lesser cost than the big three.  HEB Original Cola also has better ingredients than the big three colas.  You’re getting the flavor of cola you’re familiar with for a cheaper price and with better ingredients.  Give me a reason NOT to buy it.  Think of any movie where they need to recruit a warrior of some sort to help defeat an evil force.  Do they pick the biggest warrior with the shiniest red armor that will join you for a price?  Do they pick the flashy blue warrior with the newest gear that constantly tells you how he could beat up the red warrior at a moment’s notice?  No.  They pick that guy in the back of the bar.  Sure he gave up being a warrior a lifetime ago, but they appeal to his honor, his morals, and his values.  He reluctantly joins, and the audience is disappointed at first that this was the best the group could get.  As soon as the first battle starts you realize he’s not just some washed up warrior, he’s Hebor, King of All Warriors!  All he needed was for someone to give him a chance, to let him shine.  Give HEB Original Cola a chance to shine.  Pick it up one day instead of Coke or Pepsi, and see if you aren’t impressed.

~A

Twist enjoys the fact that the can has a picture of a bottle cap on it

Zuberfizz Creamy Root Beer

   Sadly I’ve been neglecting the Zuberfizz sodas in my fridge.  Zuberfizz brand sodas have found to be very inconsistent in their quality.  One minute I’m drinking a great Key Lime, and the next minute I open a different bottle of the same flavor and it’s a watery version of the soda I just fawned over.  Today I am examining a bottle of Zuberfizz Creamy Root Beer!  If it’s not one of the watery ones I bet it’ll be delicious!  Times a waistin’!

   It has a very nice root beer aroma, Captain Obvious… I know.  It almost has the smell of A&W Root Beer Barrels, which I love.  So far so good, let’s see if its flavor can match up to its smell.

   No…no it can’t.  This isn’t gross, this isn’t horrible, this doesn’t make me go into a Oedipal rage making me want to kill my father and marry my mother.  I’m not even sure that last sentence made sense.  Anywho, this is boring root beer.  Guess what?  This tastes watered down, and THIS is why I’m not fond of reviewing Zuberfizz sodas.  I know for a fact they can be good, but for whatever reason I keep catching watered down batches of them.  I like this company so much;  I want them to succeed.  The label art is great, the ingredients for the most part are great, heck even the name is cool.  I’m not going to go into a rant today just because I don’t think the fine folks at Zuberfizz are deserving of one.  Zuberfizz Creamy Root Beer is kind of creamy, but for the most part it’s just watery.  If indeed all of their root beer tastes like this you’re better off drinking other brands.  This, in short, is root beer for babies.

~A

Twist's mouth is watering so much for this watery root beer that water is on the bottle... water.

Gamer Soda Grape

   Three Gamer Soda flavors down… one to go!  Since this particular Gamer Soda doesn’t have a flavor listed on it, yet the packaging is purple, I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that it’s grape.  I am the connoisseur of grape flavored sodas between the two of us, and I look forward to trying this installment from Gamer.  You can read all about my history with grape sodas in some of the many links I’m posting in this article.  Enough chit chat… time for business!

   This has a cheap grocery store brand grape soda smell.  Now if you’ve read those articles I told you about, then you’d know that sentence is a compliment.  For those of you who are too lazy to read the articles, that first sentence means that it has a strong, recognizable, definite, grape odor.  Gamer Soda surprises me most every time when it comes to the punch of the aroma that escapes the bottle, shame on me for doubting.   Let’s find out if the flavor matches.

   The first thing I noticed is that my stomach is VERY empty.  I really need to eat something after I finish this review.  Secondly I’m really impressed with the amount of flavor I’m getting here.  It has that “artificial grape” taste (again, read the articles…), but with a very clean finish.  Gamer Soda Grape seems to have the best of both worlds, excluding the sodium benzoate of course.   You get just the right amount of grape flavoring without all of the heaviness a non-brand grape soda would carry with it.  If I do say so myself, Gamer Soda Grape is the first refreshing grape soda I’ve ever had.  There’s really not much more to say.  I don’t even have a funny story to go with this, so here’s an amusing word… Wolpertinger.

~A

(Note:  This beverage was provided to us by Gamer Soda)

Twist is actually half Wolpertinger... which makes him 100% Wolpertinger

Fentimans Dandelion & Burdock Soda

   As promised I’m going to try something a little different today with the review today.  In front of me is the head of a dog.  I don’t know if the dog’s name is Fentiman, or if Fentiman is a particularly unattractive person who happens to look like a dog.  It doesn’t matter who/what Fentiman is.  What does matter is that I have a bottle of his Dandelion & Burdock soda in front of me, given to us by Dustin H.  Since I haven’t the slightest idea of what this could taste like, I thought it might be fun to do the review without trying the soda… then taste the soda and give the real review.   Care to play?  Yes, let’s.

***Faux Review:

Ok let’s take some time to smell the roses…er… dandelions, and open this beautiful bottle up.  Wow, the smell isn’t quite as strong as I thought it’d be, but what I do smell has a fruity scent to it.  The closest thing I can describe the smell to is mixed berry yogurt, Yoplait of course.  Ok, enough smelling… time to drink!

Hmm… that’s a hard flavor to describe (especially when I haven’t tasted it yet, tee hee).  While I definitely still taste the berries I initially smelled, I also get kind of an earthy flavor hitting me in the spot my tonsils used to reside.  I like this, but I don’t think I’d drink it every day.  The sweetness is just about perfect, but I wish there was a bit more fizz to this.  I honestly didn’t know what to expect, but I’m glad I ended up giving it a try.  Speaking of trying new things…

Faux Verdict – Buy a Pack***

   Ok, how was that?  Hopefully it’s fairly accurate, but we’re about to find out for realsies.  Let’s open this bad boy up.

   Ok it definitely does have a fruity smell, but much closer to a combination of cherries and grape Robitussin.  I can smell the slight amount of alcohol in this.  Just a heads up, it is fermented, and has less than 0.5% alcohol by volume.  I decided to drink this because it was given to us by a fan, but it technically doesn’t meet all of our standards for a soda we’d normally review.  Enough chatter, let’s take a swig.

   That is a peculiar flavor, and I don’t really taste much sugar at all.  Fentimans Dandelion & Burdock starts off with a flavor comparable to cough syrup, which transforms into… well, cough syrup.  It’s obviously not thick like cough syrup so I guess that’s a plus.  Oh no!  Someone has put a gun to my head, and is making me describe it in one sentence!  It tastes like cough syrup soda without the vapory feeling cough syrup gives your mouth.  Fwew!  He’s gone… thanks for all your help!  Oh, another thing.   It also has a bit of a black licorice finish to it, but it’s so slight I reluctantly added it only after Twist made me.  One positive comment I will say about Fentimans Dandelion & Burdock is that you don’t have to search for the flavor… unlike my previous experience with Dry Soda Co. Lavender.  Sadly though, it seems that this really isn’t up my alley… and that’s fine.  If you’re a big fan of the ‘Tussin maybe you should give it a try.  I for one like a little ‘Tussin.

~A

Twist got soooooo WASTED!

Thomas Kemper Vanilla Cream

   It seems that when you drink a Thomas Kemper product you’re probably not going to regret your choice.  Hopefully today’s installment follows that particular path.  In front of me sits a bee.  The bee in front of me sits on a bottle of Thomas Kemper Vanilla Cream.  As you probably know Thomas Kemper has both Northwest honey, and cane sugar included in the ingredients… so we may be in for a sweet treat here.  Let’s take a whiff.

   It smells like a cream soda flavored Dum-Dum brand sucker… which is certainly not a bad thing, but I can assume (yes I know what happens when you assume) that this is going to be incredibly sweet from the aroma alone.  I wasn’t really feeling a cream soda today, but this may get me to change my tune.  Time for a drink.

   Well oddly enough it’s not a sweet as I thought it would be, nor is it all that creamy.  While the bite you feel before the cream is weak, it’s still stronger than something you’d normally find in a drink as smooth as cream soda.  The vanilla flavoring can’t be missed as it jumps in behind the initial fizz.  Since I enjoy giving random analogies, and it seems a few of you enjoy them too, here’s one describing the relationship between the fizz and vanilla flavoring.  Picture that you’re walking through an empty castle; you’ve been there a week exploring with your best friend, so you kind of know your way around.  Turning through the corridors you hear the laughter of children coming from around the corner.  Poking your head around you only see a deserted hallway, but no sooner do you turn back around that someone jumps out in front of you and gives your heart a slight rush.  Don’t worry; it’s your best friend Fizz.  Why his parents named him Fizz we’ll never know.  It only takes a split-second to realize this and begin to calm down, but then a tiny deformed version of Fizz jumps out from behind him and screams at you.   Thankfully tiny deformed Fizz is wearing a shirt that reads “Vanilla” so that this analogy would make more sense.  That was just a fun way of saying, first you’re hit with fizz, then a dose of vanilla you can’t ignore… but the vanilla isn’t very smooth.    This is an ok Vanilla Cream soda… but there better ones out there.

~A

Twist is afraid of bees... hence the shaking