MTN Dew Pitch Black

   So apparently being a soda reviewer I’m supposed to review this limited edition Mountain Dew Pitch Black.  As I understand this beverage has quite the following and it seems that it’s high time that I jump on the bandwagon.  Back in 2005 I tried to jump on the pseudo-bandwagon when Pitch Black 2 came out.  I feigned all of the excitement one might have seen since I never got the chance to try the original.  Pitch Black 2 was alright but nothing cult worthy to me so I figured that the original must have been heads and tails above its sequel.  If only I had some sort of way I could travel back to 2004 and give the original a try.  Well looky here!  Thanks to Mountain Dew… or should I say Mtn Dew (I will never say “Mtn Dew” again in this review because it’s asinine) I can now experience what I originally missed all without the help of a Delorian… which of course is points against.  The label is a very extreme purple matching the color of the beverage itself.  I really wish I had a black light to see if this bottle could truly be fantastical.  Ah well, time for a whiff.

   Ok… so that’s not quite what I was expecting.  The scent I was greeted with was that of citrus and grape… heavy on the grape fortunately.  Based on scent alone this is Mountain Dew with grape flavoring, oddly enough the label clearly states that this is Pitch Black with a BLAST of BLACK GRAPE.  I figured this was Mountain Dew with a blast of black grape but what do I know.  I’m kind of curious what Pitch Black would taste like without its blast of black grape but we’re not here for that today.   What we’re here for is transporting me back to 2004 so that I may experience the apparent amazement that is Mountain Dew Pitch Black… and so we shall.

   Interesting.  This isn’t nearly as EXTREME as I thought it would be but I find that’s working out for the experience thus far.  Instantly I can rank this as a Top 2 Dew for me.  I’m not sure what would come first but this and Code Red are now neck and neck.  Upon the first sip your tongue is immediately met with the knives of a thousand citrus flavored carbonation bubbles.  After the bubbles lay down their arms the grape, apparently black grape, flavor shows itself.  It doesn’t show in an extreme way like your uncle (it’s always a creepy uncle isn’t it?) at the last family gathering though.  Instead, Mountain Dew Pitch Black raises its hand, gets called upon, and casually states that “Yes I’m a Mountain Dew with grape flavoring”.  I realize that Mountain Dew tries to cater to an extreme/gamer/youthful audience but their flavors don’t bring that out in me.  Maybe…maybe I’m old now and just “don’t get it” anymore.  Ah well, if I “don’t get” Mountain Dew’s marketing I’m probably over thinking it.  Why did I go off on that mini-tangent?  Must be time for my old people pills.  Back to the beverage at hand. 

   I’m finding myself really enjoying Pitch Black and wish that I’d been on this train when my love of Mountain Dew was at its peak.  Like I said earlier it’s up there with Code Red in my opinion and I used to be a fiend for Code Red.  One of the strengths of the Mountain Dew brand is that they aren’t afraid to try and create Frankensteinesque sodas that combine the already popular Dew flavor with that of grape, orange, white stuff, etc.  This of course results in the occasional monstrosity but gives people even more reason to buy Dew products.  Pitch Black is good.  I’m good with this.  Of course it’s full of chemicals and that will hurt the score a bit but I can tell you that I’ll be looking for Mountain Dew Pitch Black again next year.  Now… who do I talk to about Surge, Crystal Pepsi, and the original Sprite Re-mix?

~A

Twist, of course, is the only one extreme enough to be that close to the label.

Topo-Sabores Peach

Once upon a time there was a boy who wanted a soda.  Not just any soda mind you but a Topo-Sabores Peach soda to be precise.  You see a lion once told the boy that Topo-Sabores Peach soda was delicious but this lion wasn’t always to be trusted since he always seemed to regard Topo-Sabores products at the highest level.  One day a magical wizard named Abel gave the boy a bottle of the peach concoction under one condition… that he review it and put it up in the town square for all to see.  Of course the boy obliged and ran home with his bottle of Topo-Sabores Peach.  When he finally arrived at his home he gazed in wonder at the cool bottle in his hands.  Glancing over the contents of the bottle he noticed that this contained both cane sugar and some form of black magic called high fructose corn syrup.  Confused he decided he better not think about it too much or he might fall ill.    Quickly he broke the seal hoping to get a whiff of what majesty lay before him.

It was certainly peaches, or at least black magic made to taste like peaches, that populated the inside of this container.  While he hadn’t tasted this bubble nectar just yet his nose wouldn’t lie to him… would it?

Putting the lip of the bottle to his own he tilted it back to finally enjoy what the wizard had given him.  A broad smile crossed his face as the sweet peach soda raced across his tongue quickly being chased off by a horde of bubbles giving the soda a sharp contrasting after taste.  This wasn’t as smooth as he believed it would be, as this wasn’t the boys first peach soda, but he enjoyed it nonetheless.  Out of nowhere a dragon came lumbering along flicking its tongue moving closer and closer to the boy’s soda.  Panicking the boy ran off forgetting the Topo-Sabores behind him.  Looking over his shoulder he saw it was too late for him to save his soda… by the look on the dragon’s face it was to be consumed quickly.  The boy’s mood dropped as he remembered how much he enjoyed the peach flavoring, caused by black magic or not.  “Wait a minute,” the boy said allowed, “if a wizard made this for me shouldn’t it be the best soda I’ve ever had?  I mean he is a wizard and all.  This soda is enjoyable but a wizard should be able to create something out of this world.”  With that the boy walked into town square ready to post his review.  “Where is the soda the wizard gave you?  Wasn’t it most special?  Do you think he could make me one?” a passing peasant pondered.  “It was alright.”  The boy responded.  “Don’t bother asking him to make you one though.  You’re better off buying a bottle.”

Epilogue – As the years passed the boy grew and matured.  He made a lot of friends along the way and did some pretty amazing stuff.  That boy grew up to be Abraham Lincoln.

~A

To this day no one knows what happened to the dragon.  Some say he size was exaggerated, others say he still walks among us.  I guess we'll never know.

Sun Drop

   I saw Sun Drop a few months back in my local grocery store and thought that it was some old timey soda that had now finally made it to Texas.  Turns out I was right!  Sun Drop or Sundrop, has been around in some from since the 1930’s but thanks to the Dr. Pepper/Snapple company now has seen a nationwide release as of this year.  I must say they are promoting the heck out of it too.  I’ve seen it sponsored on boxers (fighters not underwear), billboards, and big trucks… just to name a few of the “B” ones.  Figuring that I might as well try this “new” beverage I purchased a pack guessing that I knew what I was getting into.  It’s in a fun green can and it’s labeled as a citrus soda.   This is the Dr. Pepper version of Mountain Dew… AMIRIGHT?  Sadly this means it also uses HFCS and other chemicals to flavor… wait… this has orange juice in the ingredients.  To quote the 9th Doctor, “Fantastic!”  Ok, so maybe it could be a bit different than the Dew.  Enough of the pleasantries.

   Sun Drop smells a lot like Mountain Dew but has a bit more of a citrus bite to its aroma.  While it’s a generically citrus smell my nostrils are still able to pick out hints of lemon and lime.  Like I said before, this is Dr. Pepper’s version of Mountain Dew… CANIGETAWITNESS?

   Upon drinking it my tongue is touched by a bevy of citrus flavors.  I can pick out the lemon and lime I whiffed earlier and most impressively I can also taste the orange juice that is listed on the side of the can.  None of these are dominant flavors mind you but if you take the time to try and sort it out in your mouth you can identify them all.  This is a little bit sweeter to me than Mountain Dew and a little less harsh on the throat.  Obviously Mountain Dew is not as caustic as Coke or Pepsi but it does have room to be muted a bit.  Personally I like the taste of Sun Drop more than Mountain Dew to the point where if I’m given the choice I’d pick Sun Drop every time if it was made with sugar.  As it currently stands I’ll only pick Sun Drop every time over regular Dew… throwback still gets my vote.  You get almost the same flavor that you would with Dew except for a few subtle improvements like the slight orange flavoring, the smoother mouth feel, and (in my opinion) the not INYOURFACE marketing.  Sun Drop to me embodies a sit on the porch after a sweltering hot day watching the sun set kind of drink.  The drink feels much more laid-back than its competition and in such makes me enjoy it that much more.  With all that said I think Dr. Pepper/Snapple picked a winner in Sun Drop and in doing so have the strongest lineup of soda out of the big three.  Obviously Coke and Pepsi are going to make more money at the end of the year but give me Dr. Pepper/RC Cola/7up/Sun Drop over the Red and Blue equivalents any day.

~A

Which one is the can and which one is the iguana?!  The world may never know.

Sprecher Ravin' Red

   I’ve been saving this soda.  I’ve been saving this soda because I think it’s going to be amazing and I want the review to do it justice.  What I have in front of me is a Sprecher’s Ravin’ Red.  Allow me to translate what flavor Ravin’ Red is.  Ravin’ Red is a cran-cherry soda with ginseng.  There is not one thing wrong with the list of flavors I typed up in that last sentence and that’s what excites me.  Sure Sprecher’s uses HFCS but they’ve shown in the past that they plug past that and create fantastic products.  The ingredient listed before HFCS is Door County Cherry Juice and later on down the label you find Wisconsin Rapids Cranberry Juice with some raw Wisconsin honey.  There are so many other sweeteners in here besides HFCS thus negating my care of their usage.  The label is also adorned with red raven flying through the air carrying a bag of cranberries and two cherries.  How I wish I could get a shirt with this amusing character on it.  Enough chatter.

   The scent that escapes the neck of the bottle is that of a slight cranberry.  I can’t smell the cherry at all but that’s not saying it isn’t there.   I’m not enticed by the scent but of course I will push on for the greater cause.

   Very nice.  All three listed flavors are present in each sip.  You are initially hit with the cranberry for a short period of time allowing the cherry to peek it’s head around the corner.  It’s not quite time for the cherry to go on stage yet because the ginseng pushes him back behind the curtain and makes his own appearance.  When the ginseng is done trying to be the star of the show the cherry reappears with one of the most delicious subtle finishes I’ve had in a long time.  Your mouth is left with a delightful cherry taste that you know is juice and not flavoring.  The mouth feel of this beverage ranges from the sharp feel of the cranberry on the back of your throat to the ever so smooth feel of cherry afterward.  Nothing about this beverage is overly sweet but I can’t figure out what I would pair it with if I was eating.  Honestly I guess it could be a good buddy to a burger or something along those lines.  The only downside I can find to this beverage is that its flavor builds up in your mouth.  Each sip becomes richer and richer until you’re not sure you want anymore.  The bottle I’m drinking from is 16 oz but I’d be perfectly happy with 12.  I’m going to stop here before I ruin my experience by over indulging myself on Sprecher’s Ravin’ Red.  Moderation my friend, moderation.

~A

Twist says he knows the raven on this bottle and that he's "good people".

Henry Weinhard's Root Beer

   Since You’ve Been Gone somebody told me that Henry Weinhard’s Root Beer was the best root beer hands down.  I of course was doubtful because I don’t trust people that use the phrase “hands down”.  Nonetheless I still started seeking out said root beer, asking various store Clerks, but found other Henry Wienhard products instead both of which were delicious!  Now with Henry Weinhard Root Beer in hand I can either validate or nullify the statement that was made to me so long ago.  On a side note it’s really hard for me to remember the name Henry Weinhard. 

   Now I just got through walking my Dogma so I’m pretty thirsty.  Upon opening the bottle I’m greeted by the meek aroma of root beer.  Now had this review been written 40 Days and 40 Nights ago I would have been wary about this weak smell.  Not anymore though.  So many times I’ve thought that the smell was the Master and Commander of the drink… setting the tone to what was to follow.  So many times this has proven to be false.  Time to drink and think.

   Let’s just get the initial question out of the way.  Sorry, this is not the greatest root beer “hands down”.  That’s just Sex, Lies, and Video Tape.  This is a good root beer though and should not be overlooked.  If you’re at Muriel’s Wedding in Chicago and the Priest offers you this is I highly suggest you try it.  You start off with a rather unique flavor that is still unmistakably root beer.  You can tell they didn’t try to Mimic any of the other root beers on the market.  What follows is a smooth root beer flavor followed by a quick snap of bubbles.  You could chug this and be just fine.  In fact you could drink this from Dusk Till Dawn.  The smooth mouth feel of this root beer is very nice; it reminds you that Life is Beautiful.  Your mouth doesn’t feel syrupy after drinking it (which is surprising since they use HFCS as a sweetener) and the unique flavor stays with you throughout.  Holy Smoke, I forgot to look at the ingredients.  I’m Wide Awake and I forgot to look... I’m losing my edge.  Well now that I’m looking I see that they use honey in the making of this beverage.  That is definitely one of the attributing factors to this unique sub-taste.  I make up the word sub-taste because it’s not the flavor that holds dominance in your mouth that I’m talking about but the one that hides in the shadows and peeks out afterwards.  Your Henry Weinhard’s Root Beer experience is capped off with a fairly clean ending, leaving a pleasant aftertaste.  Even though this is a great beverage and I suggest you enjoy it I leave you with this advice.  Don’t be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Root Beer in the Hood.  Anywho… time for me to Bounce.

~The Tall Guy from Happy, TX

P.S. - Princess Mononoke

Twist's favorite Miramax movie?  Godzilla vs Biollante of course.

Rat Bastard Root Beer

   Rat Bastard Root Beer.  That’s the name of the beverage in front of me today.  The letters that form the name of this beverage are scrawled in white upon a plain grey background.  I’d say it was boring if it wasn’t for the other “witty” words adorning the bottle.  Phrases such as “It’s us against them”, “What you’ll be drinking”, and my particular favorite “Quit being a dick.  Drink it.”  Rat Bastard Root Beer uses HFCS for sweetener but then comes out of nowhere with several odd herbs for flavoring.  There’s a few ginsengs in there, some jasmine, clove, skullcap, capsicum, kava kava, and so many other strange herbs I wouldn’t think to add to a beverage.  Well I pride myself in being a Jerk but I will not be called a dick without just cause.  Let’s just open this already. 

   It has a great rooty aroma that comes right out and hits you in the face.  Even though this may not be sweetened with sugar I’m still looking forward to this first gulp.

   The smell, as it so often seems to be, is much stronger than the taste and this disappoints me.  I expected something called Rat Bastard Root Beer to take me by the throat and shake me until I enjoyed their product.  For goodness sake they used peer pressure to get me to drink it… who wants to be a dick?  The insane herbal blend they use is only slightly noticeable but it does make your tongue tingle in an interesting way.  The flavor most resembles that of Barq’s if I must compare it to one of the big mainstream three.  Barq’s has more bite… which once again makes me sad that I let my mind rev this beverage up based on its name alone.  I will say that it has a relatively clean finish… so… good for you Rat Bastard Root Beer.  Shame on you for having such an extreme name for such a tamely flavored soda.  “Nice Guy Root Beer” would have worked better for the flavor I just ingested but you’d still get the same rating.

~A

Don't worry, Twist punished this bottle for calling him a dick.

Crush Lime

   I’m sleepy so let’s get this over with.  Aaron like lime soda, blah, blah, blah.  There aren’t many lime sodas on the market, yada, yada, yada.  Hopefully Crush Lime is delicious, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice.  What I obviously have in front of me is a can of Crush Lime.  This was given to us by Dan Dub who I believe hated it.  Mike has since tried it and apparently loves the stuff.  I’ve been over thinking the order of drinks to review in my fridge and in a tired stupor picked this one out because it’d be the easiest to photograph (I could either photograph and then review it, or I could review it and then photograph).  Any who, this is a can of lime flavored soda which is made by Crush.  I like Crush Orange so I might as well give this one a shot as well.  Time to crack’er open. 

   Smells D-Lishus!  The first thing I thought of when I opened the can was candy.  This could very well be liquid lime candy.  I suppose most soda is liquid candy when you think about it but I don’t really want to think about it at the time.  I just want to drink this, so I shall.

   Well the initial taste is much weaker than I thought it would be.  The smell psyches you out, making you think you’re going to enjoy liquid lime candy when in fact you’re just drinking an average lime soda.  There isn’t a whole lot of fizz to Crush Lime, or Lime Crush as I’m sure everyone else in the world calls it.  I have no qualms with there being little fizz to this drink.  If it were any fizzier then the already muted lime flavoring would be stuffed even further back onto the bookshelf much like Garfield Tips the Scales: His Eighth Book.  The cat has like 50 something books and if you planned on collecting them as a kid you probably gave up around book 30 like I did.  To this day I’ll be going through my bookshelf and randomly find a Garfield book stuffed amongst my other bizarre reading material.  I found a Hi-lights magazine in there from 1987.  Guess what?  Goofus is still not ready for “big boy” scissors and Gallant will end up housing over 60 cats by the age of 42… most of them imaginary.  You know why I ranted just then?  I’ll tell you, because Crush Lime is boring.  This is a generic flavored lime beverage with no life to it.  This is something that you’d find when you need to scavenge for food right before a hurricane hits.  “I can’t believe I didn’t do this earlier.  Why isn’t there any bottled water left?!  Beef Jerky?  Yeah that’s a meat, we can eat that.  A gallon of sweet tea… sure the kids like sweet tea.  Generic lemon cookies?  Those go great with sweet tea!  What’s this?  Lime Crush?  I didn’t even know they made… ah heck I might as well grab it.”  You take it home and guzzle it down with your beef jerky and generic lemon cookies.  Never once do you think that it’s great or that it’s horrible.  You just drink it because it’s there.  If you like lime but don’t have access to Jarritos Lime or Stewarts Key Lime Soda, then I guess this would be ok.  Just know that you’re missing out on the superior product.

~A

Twist was oddly attracted to this can.

Seagram's Raspberry Ginger Ale

   I’m a lazy person by nature.  These two holiday weeks off were not planned… it was more along the lines of an excuse I made up.  With that said, I still procrastinated greatly to write my first review of the New Year.  I’m sure once I get back into a rhythm I’ll be good to go but this first one was pushed back 2 or 3 times.  I have a fridge full of new drinks but the soda picked for today’s review is seasonal so it goes before the rest.  What I have in front of me is Seagram’s Raspberry Ginger Ale, given to me by D-Dub.  Now, I love raspberry flavored things as I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned before.  I also have a joy for ginger.  I’m sure the last sentence can be taken many ways(several of them ringing true for me) but what I’m speaking of is ginger ale.  The side of the can does note that the raspberry flavoring inside is one of a natural origin.  Yay.  Reading the side of the can I notice that the green you would normally find adorning the aluminum of this can has been replaced with a much more festive raspberry pink.  Of course I noticed that way before I read the side of the can but I needed some sort of segue.  With the descriptive stuff out of the way we can now begin!

   As soon as I opened the can I heard a police siren outside.  Hopefully I’m not breaking some sort of federal law since I *insert funny here*.  The scent wafting from the mouth of the can is certainly that of raspberry.  The first thing I thought of when I inhaled it was that it reminded me of a scent you might find in a flavored water.  Hopefully Seagram’s Raspberry Ginger Ale has much more flavor than a bottle of Clearly Canadian.  I didn’t mean to name drop Clearly Canadian, it was just the first flavored water that came to mind.  On to the consumption!

Thought 1:  I like both regular ginger ale and green tea ginger ale better.

Thought 2:  While listed as natural the raspberry flavoring tastes a bit fake.

Thought 3:  The initial taste is good, the ride in the middle is ok but the finish has something to be desired. 

   Those are the first three thoughts that entered my head when I first consumed this.  The carbonation in this beverage is stronger than most but you don’t really feel that until after you swallow.  I hold raspberry flavored items to a very high level.  Remember when “Blue Raspberry” candy came out in the mid 90’s and everyone freaked out?  People were so very happy to have blue raspberry candy where it once was not.  Being a fan of raspberry I thought “how very odd for it to be blue… oh well let’s try this brand new blue raspberry SweetTart.”  Disappointment hit me hard in the face.  So while people were jumping off buildings out of the excitement that was new blue raspberry flavored candy, I sat home and cried for five straight years.  FIVE STRAIGHT YEARS!  That’s how hard I judge raspberry flavoring.  Now with that said I can at least tell that this is supposed to be raspberry flavored.  It’s just not what I would suggest a raspberry enthusiast try first thing after they woke up from a coma.  Finally, the HFCS really makes an impact on this beverage.  The finish of Seagram’s Raspberry Ginger Ale has a very sticky mouthfeel, much like Sprite.  This might be something they could fix if they sweetened with sugar instead.  Ah well… that’s just a crazy dream I suppose.  With all that said I did finish the drink and it wasn’t  that bad of an experience.  I just won’t be drinking one of these again anytime soon.

~A

The can is almost camouflaged on that fantastic maroon couch.  Twist is not.

Henry Weinhard's Orange Cream

   Good ol’ Henry Weinhard is back in my grasp, except this time he’s the flavor of dreams…icles.  That’s right the same Henry Weinhard that makes Henry Weinhard’s Black Cherry Cream Soda also makes Henry Weinhard’s Orange Cream.  Who’d have guessed?!  The ingredients on the side say that this beverage has a “blend of select oranges, mandarins, and real vanilla”.  Well that’s good enough for me… oh wait.  The added “complexity and character” comes from “a blend of lemon, lime, Chinese ginger, nutmeg, lemon grass, and angelica root”.  This is some pretty fancy-dancy orange cream soda.  Way to many words, not enough drinking.  It’s time to move on

   The orange cream aroma is not a shy one.  Once I opened the bottle my nostrils were treated with a barrage of orange and vanilla.  Pretend its April Fools’ Day but you’re heading off to bed.  You’ve manage to go all day without getting tricked.  Sure enough before you head up the stairs your doorbell rings.  “Well who could that be?” you ask aloud, only to be answered by the meow of your cat.  You cry a little inside thinking of what might have happened if, JUST IF, you had talked to the girl at the gas pump.  Maybe you wouldn’t be so lonely.  Maybe Snugglepuff would like her new mommy for once.  Maybe you’re going a little crazy.  Opening the door you look around for who might have come calling for you.  The black night sky greets you, and nothing more.  “Heh,” you chuckle to yourself, “I guess I did get fooled after all.”  Before you can turn around you hear a rustling in your bushes.  You squint your eyes making out the faint outline of a man.  POW! A peeled orange hits you square on the nose; your nostrils now filled with the scurvy fighting juice.  Before you can react to the citrus onslaught, the guy that didn’t bring oranges runs up to you and rubs vanilla scented potpourri all over your face.  “THAT’S NOT EVEN A TRICK!” you yell into the night upon uncaring ears. 

   That is what I imagined when I first opened this bottle.  I never do my pointless rants during the smell portion of the review, so I figured I’d mix it up a little.  Anyway, I should probably drink this now.

   This, my fellow jerks, is excellent orange cream soda.  The orange has the citrus tart you want to find in an orange soda but there’s a bonus this time that your normal orange soda doesn’t have.  As long as you swish this around you don’t lose the great orange flavor, which would be a good flavor for a soda all by itself.  The moment you stop the smooth vanilla begins to dissipate the once tart orange.  Eventually the orange is overtaken by the vanilla giving Henry Weinhard’s Orange Cream a delightfully smooth finish.  The mouth feel changes so much from initial sip to finish I’m a little bit amazed.  The aftertaste you’re left with is that of the smooth vanilla, the orange is almost nowhere to be found until you burp.  I know that’s a bit crass, but the duality of this beverage is very unique.  To be honest with you I was a little hesitant to try this because I was slightly let down by the black cherry cream soda.  Henry Weinhard did not disappoint this go around though.  This is honestly the best orange cream soda I’ve had to date.

~A

You can almost see the resemblance

Colombiana

   Dan W. gave me this very exotically named drink that I will be reviewing today.  The name of the beverage at hand today is Colombiana, so I could be taking a trip to Mexico, Brazil, Chile, or so many other fanciful places.  Let’s see what the side of the can says.  Looks like that it was bottled by the find folks at Brooklyn Bottling of Milton, NY.  Oh, how very exotic!  This is defined on the can as a Kola Flavored Soda… which I can only assume is flavored like kola champagne (similar to cream soda).  The can is brightly colored with everyone’s favorite primary colors.  Accompanying the name of the soda are two phrases in Spanish.  “La que tomamos en casa”, which according to Google roughly translates into “The one you take home.”   The other phrase is “la nuestra”, which again according to Google translates into “ours”.   Sadly the ingredients aren’t nearly as interesting.  They are just a collection of chemicals that make up this sugary drink.  Alright, it’s time to stop reading… me, not you.  I’m going to stop reading the can while you continue to read this review. 

   Yup, this smells like Big Red/Cream Soda/Kola Champagne.  If Colombiana has half the following that Inca Kola does then I’m probably in for a barrage (2 people) of criticism.  Let’s take a sip shall we?

   While you might think of cream soda when you first try this, if you study it for just a moment you’ll find you’re just enough off base to be called out.  The flavor starts off like a lighter version of Big Red with the slightest of hints of tea.  The fizz Colombiana hits you with has more of a punch than a cream soda, and that sets it apart from your basic Kola Champagne.  What you’re left with after drinking this is a lighter version of the flavor you started with.  To put that into a more comprehendible sentence:  The aftertaste is true to the taste.  To be honest I liked this more than your typical kola champagne but it still tastes like your basic sugary drink to me.  There is nothing that truly sets Colombiana apart from the soda herd.  So, if you see a red, yellow, and blue can that catches your eye, then give it a go.  If not, then don’t go crazy looking for it.

~A

The eagle and Twist had a staring contest.  Do you need to even ask who won?

Walgreens Strawberry Cherry Escape

   Sometimes I get lazy when selecting a soda.  Sometimes I don’t want to go searching for the most unique thing out there on the market.  This was one of those times, thus the reason today’s review is Walgreens Strawberry Cherry Escape.  Chances are if you have a friendly neighborhood Walgreens in your area you’ll be able to find this flavor.  I really don’t feel all that bad for reviewing this soda because it’s probably more easily obtained than many of the others we review.  With that said I don’t have high expectations for it.  I blame my biased thoughts about Walgreens Strawberry Cherry Escape on the fact that I think I’m slowly becoming a soda snob.  Hopefully this drink helps bring me back to my roots.

   As I crack open this 20oz bottle I start to get a familiar feeling.  Yes I’ve opened many a 20oz bottle but that’s not what I’m feeling.  Putting my nose to the bottle I get both of the scents written on the label with strawberry winning the tug of war with my nostrils.  That’s truly an odd thing to picture.  Any who, it’s time to consume.

   Light carbonation, fruity flavor, not too overly sweet… not too shabby.  The taste is much like the scent which makes it nice that my nose didn’t play any tricks on me.  There’s nothing overly special about this soda but I’m starting to realize what that familiar feeling is I was feeling earlier.  I don’t know if it’s the generic packaging of this soda or the basic red coloring but something about this is sending me back to my childhood. 

   When I look at a bottle of Walgreens Strawberry Cherry Escape I immediately get the mental image of a kid in the 1980’s who we’ll call Luke.  Luke is having a party and everything is going well.  His best buds are there… and heck even a few girls are there but they aren’t quite old enough to realize they aren’t gross yet.  Luke and company have consumed all the Pepsi purchased for the party but they still need more to drink.  “We’re thirsty, Mom!”  Luke says.  “Well why don’t you get some of those extra drinks in the garage?” she replies.  Luke then begins to make the trek to the garage.  He squeezes past the car, and tiptoes his way around the tools sitting on the wall.  He’s wearing his favorite Thundercats t-shirt so he doesn’t want to get any grease on it.  After making his way around to the corner of the garage he spies the sodas his mother has mentioned.  There they sit, on top of what can only be described as half a cardboard box.  This is the usual place the sodas are kept and the evidence of can indentations only proves this further.  Luke grabs a couple of the 2 liter bottles, reveling for just a moment in the warmth that they give him.  Once again he squeezes past the car, the tools, and all the other junk in the garage.  It’s a bit harder this go around since the two bottles are a bit much for him to hold onto at this young age.  As he makes his way back inside, with no thanks to any of the other partygoers, he places the bottles on the countertop so his mother can open them.  She does indeed open the bottles and pours the warm liquid onto the cubed ice, melting it instantly.  This fake recollection of memory is why Mike wants you to buy a pack of Walgreens Strawberry Cherry Escape.  I on the other hand think that while this memory could be accurate, the taste of this beverage is average.

Look at it... how exotic!

Henry Weinhard's Black Cherry Cream Soda

   A citizen of the Carbo-Nation suggested that we try out Henry Weinhard’s Root Beer.  Well no such luck as they were out of root beer when my good friend Dustin arrived as a location that sells Henry Wienhard products.  Thankfully Dustin was able to procure some Henry Weinhard’s Black Cherry Cream Soda!  The label has a nice old timey feel to it, and the literature on the front of the bottle makes it seem like they use high quality ingredients.  Let’s check it out!  It seems that the flavoring they use is high quality as they include the all natural flavors of black cherries, black raspberry, and bourbon vanilla.  Deeee-lish!  Once you look past the flavoring though you get HFCS and sodium benzoate, bringing this soda a little bit closer to the realm of “nothing special”.  Hopefully the top notch natural flavors will push it to the top of the heap.  Let’s see what Henry has to offer.

   Wow, this is one of the most delicious smelling sodas I’ve had the chance to inhale in a long time.  The odor is rich combination of vanilla and cherry.  It does worry me a bit because it likens itself to sno-cone syrup in that it seems concentrated to the point of being overly sweet.  This will either work very well for Ol’ Henry Weinhard, or be his undoing.

   Well that’s a little disappointing.  The hype the odor created only set me up for sadness.  Don’t get me wrong, this will end up being a positive verdict for Ol’ H.W.  If they had been able to make the taste as rich as the smell… we’d probably be talking about a serious top soda contender.  I’ve whined enough, so  it’s now time for the actual review.  You’re initially greeted with a punch of black cherry, which is a pleasant way to start.  The “punch” lingers for a bit, and then cross dissolves (I work in television, so forgive the lingo) to the vanilla cream promised in the soda’s name.  I originally described the vanilla cream as “smooth” but realized I’d be lying as the finish on this drink isn’t as smooth as you might predict… and I think I know why. 

   While I’ve had drinks that felt much more syrupy in my mouth, this definitely lines the inside of it much like the smell of fast food lingers in your car hours after you’ve taken the bags out.  The aroma just sits there like a heavy cloud of sadness in your car, waiting for the next potential passenger to enter your car and be instantly depressed by the death gas your fries have created.  The HFCS is going to be the bane of Ol’ Henry Weinhard.  If they’d just replace the HFCS in this soda with sugar we’d be talking about a potentially amazing beverage.  I think the longer I drink this the more average it tastes… so I’m going to stop now before I go away from my initial score.

~A

Twist was unable to review this weeks beverage as he is part of the Weinhard family... not the soda making Weinhards, but a completely different unassociated Weinhard.

Postobon Manzana

   If Pepto-Bismol was a soda it would look like this.  Dan “The Fan” W gave us this very pink can of Postobon, which is apparently an apple flavored soda.  Looking at the label shows that Postobon is a myriad of chemicals.  With that said, I do like apple flavored soda and I am one of the few people that likes Pepto-Bismol… so color me ready to drink.  While I’m not sure what color “ready” is, I’m pretty sure in this case it’s pink.

  This has no smell.  Wait, wait, I can faintly smell apples and now the odor is getting stronger.  It was like the apple smell was Nessie keeping her head underwater until she thought it was safe to come up, avoiding the stares of tourists.  Now as she emerges the apple smell gets stronger and stronger.   That would be so very awesome if the Loch Ness Monster smelled of apples.  Since I’ve now somehow tied another thing I like into this beverage I’d say it’s time to drink.

  That, my friends, is no apple soda.  This is some kind of cotton candy/apple hybrid.  Have you ever had apple cotton candy?  Of course you haven’t.  The only time you get the flavor of cotton candy and apples together is after a long day at the state fair… after one too many rides on the Zipper.  I did it again.  I incorporated my favorite carnival ride into this review.  I don’t really want to drink this anymore, it’s so sickly sweet.  It’s not so gross that I think no one will like it, I’m sure there will be people out there who disagree with me whole heartedly.  What I’m saying is that I’m done with Postobon and for some reason I have Bonnie Pink’s song Cotton Candy stuck in my head.

~A

Twist used to operate the Gravitron

Saranac Root Beer

   A citizen of the Carbo-Nation suggested a while back that we search out and try some Saranac Root Beer.  Well guess what, “Person reading the Saranac – Root Beer Review”, we got some!  The Saranac brewery (est. in 1888) is located in New York and, much like other beer breweries, they have a root beer for us non-alcohol drinkers.  This root beer sits in an unassuming bottle with a classy looking maroon and gold label.  Oddly enough it reminds me of the Cheers logo.  Sadly, after looking at the ingredients I see that this is both sweetened with high fructose corn syrup and includes sodium benzoate.  These are two chemicals no Soda Jerk wants to see; regardless, let’s open her up!

   It has a very nice root beery smell… to put a description on it I’d say it smells like a high end A&W root beer.  Now that the shortest part of the review is over: On to the consumption!

   This is a good root beer.  The end.  Done. 

   No, no, I’m only kidding.  There are plenty of words to follow.  It has the initial mouth feel of an IBC root beer but oddly enough it’s not quite as heavy.  The amount of carbonation attacks your tongue with every swallow in a quick but hard hitting fashion.  The finish is so quick that I’m not going to mention it… other than mentioning that I won’t mention it, that is.  This has more bite than any root beer I’ve had to date; it’s not smooth at all.  When I first saw this bottle I thought I’d be drinking a generic root beer that didn’t set itself apart from any other root beer in a brown bottle.  I’m happy to say that I was very wrong.  If you put this in a root beer line up I’d easily tell it apart from the others.  Wow, I can’t get over how harsh (in a good way) this attacks the back of my throat.  It’s like you fell asleep with your mouth open and there’s this guy who thinks he’s funny, right?  But in reality he’s just a guy you happened to sit next to on the first day of class and unfortunately for you, you accidentally laughed at one of his pointless jokes so now you’re “best buds”.  No matter how many times you tell him to buzz off he stays around making the same level of horrible joke... staring at you, waiting for you to laugh like you did the first time.  What an idiot…Oh yeah I was talking about something!  It’s like he dropped a pinch of pop-rocks onto your tonsils.  You’d be surprised at first, but it’d be tasty enough that you’d repeat his stupid prank, placing more pop-rocks onto your tonsils, fueling his fire… making him stronger… never being rid of the constant staring… the staring.

~A

(Note:  This beverage was provided to us by the Saranac Brewery)

Faux Fact:  Iguana's can't feel pain when it's caused by root beer.

Inca Kola

   Inca Kola.  “The Golden Kola” aka “The Golden Carbonated Beverage” aka Inca Kola, sits in front of me in a golden can, wrapped in aluminum… wrapped in a mystery.  This can seems to be full of chemicals, which is something I’m pretty sure the Incan’s didn’t use a lot of in their original kola… if in fact they did make kola.  The drink buy date is in 2011, almost as if they doubt you’ll be around in 2012 to drink it… eerie, but not really.  The unknown must become known, let us open this golden can.

   I assumed it would smell like a cola… ahem sorry… kola, but it doesn’t.  Inca Kola smells of cream soda and bubble gum.  The “Golden Kola” has the aroma of “The Red Wonder”… Big Red.  Not being a huge fan of Big Red, it’s not looking good for Inca Kola.  Time to drink.

   Good news, everybody!  It doesn’t taste like Big Red.  The bubble gum you smell translates into the taste of the beverage, except it also includes a hint of ginger.  “Does Inca Kola have ginger in it?” you ask.  No.  No it does not.  In fact this tastes like a generic mystery beverage.  It’s a hodge-podge of chemicals made to be a sugary drink with nothing that sets it apart from the pack.  Get it?  The pack.  A six pack of soda.  Eh? Eh?  Awwww, you don’t get it!  If you see Inca Kola though…

~A

Back home, Twist is known at the Golden Iguana... I asked him why but he said it was embarrassing.

Mug Root Beer

   Well true to our word we really will review any soda if given to us for free by our fans.  Today’s review is Mug Root Beer, given to us by one Double R.  I really think that he meant for this review to be difficult.  Anyone can review an odd drink, pointing out what makes it unique… but a mainstream root beer that most everyone has tasted could be much more difficult.  Mug of course is one of the three big name root beer brands out there, the other two being Barq’s, and of course A&W.  I have a co-worker that refers to Mug as “the working man’s root beer”, or the “blue collar” root beer.  I really enjoy thinking of it that way, and the bulldog on the front of the can offering me a frosty glass of root beer seems to give off the feel of a “blue collar” kind of guy.  Speaking of the can art, it looks as if I’m picking up a frosty mug overflowing with suds.  Nice touch Pepsi… I mean Mug.  Enough with the chatter, let’s crack it open.

   I’m realizing now that I’ve never truly smelled Mug Root Beer… and upon doing so I realize that its root beer smell really isn’t that strong.  I kind of thought all the chemicals inside of it would have increased the aroma, but I’ve been wrong before… ONE TIME.  Time for some drinkin’.

   To be honest with you, and I always am, I haven’t had a Mug Root Beer in a while.  This tastes much more watery than I remember.  Mug doesn’t have the “bite” of Barq’s, or the creamy taste of A&W.  In fact it has a muted, less impressive version of the characteristics that make the other two root beers loved by so many.  A positive attribute of Mug how clean the taste is for a mainstream root beer.  There are definitely cleaner tasting root beers out there, but this one does pretty well compared to its A&W Rival.  As you might expect this is a very safe drink.  By safe I mean that you pretty much know what it’s going to taste like when you pick up a can for the first time.  It’s going to taste like boring root beer.  Now I recognize that I’ve probably become a root beer snob over the past two years, and I’m sure that’s affecting this review.  If you love Mug Root Beer and don’t understand why I’m not rating it higher, go out and try some Virgil’s, Boylan’s, or Bundaberg Root Beer and tell me they aren’t heads, tails, slugs, and snails better than Mug.  Until then I’m sticking with this…

~A

Faux Fact: Twist was the original mascot for Mug, but he asked for too much money

IBC Tangerine Cream Soda

   It’s not Orange Cream, it’s Tangerine Cream.  It’s not Orange Cream, it’s Tangerine Cream. It’s not Orange Cream, it’s Tangerine Cream.  I’m going to have to repeat that mantra to myself as I consume this IBC Tangerine Cream Soda.  Something tells me though that it won’t make a bit of difference, hopefully they’ll prove me wrong.  I enjoy the IBC brand, and I’d like to add another horse to their stable of sodas I would purchase.  Here goes nothing.

   Hey guess what?  This smells a lot like orange cream soda, only a bit lighter in the ‘orange’ part.  The creaminess is definitely noticeable in the aroma, which makes me believe this will be very sweet.  Too bad there is no way we could find out if it is too sweet… oh wait, I have an idea!

   Drinking this was a great way to figure out the sweetness of IBC Tangerine Cream Soda!  I’m a genius!  Well I would be a genius if I had trusted that IBC knew what they were doing when they place the words Tangerine Cream Soda on their bottle.  This does taste differently enough from orange for me to make that apology.  Could someone trick you into believing it was orange cream soda?  I’m sure they could, but what kind of lame trick is that.  “We replaced Don’s orange cream soda with new IBC Tangerine Cream Soda… let’s see if he notices.”  Don might notice, but you’re not going to get a face full of knuckles for your prank.  Don would more than likely thank you for slightly broadening his horizons on the soda frontier.  The cream actually overpowers the tangerine flavoring they’ve chemically added to this soda.  If that were switched I’d give it a higher score, but since IBC didn’t travel into the future and read this review they’re stuck with…

~A

Twist is allergic to Tangerine flavoring... hence the reason he looks so green

Bubble Up

   This bottle of Bubble Up was given to us by Abel A, and oddly enough I’ve been kind of excited to try it.  I’m aware that it’s probably a 7up rip off, but the name of the soda is so campy that I’m drawn to it.  The labeling isn’t particularly awesome, it involves *gasp!* a lemon and a lime.  The label shows that this is full of chemicals, much like some of its mainstream brethren.  The label also shows that this is produced under the authority of The Dad’s Root Beer Company, oh joy!  Just so it’s clear where my bias might stand… of the three lemon/lime sodas my favorite is 7up, followed by Sierra Mist, and trailing far behind them is Sprite.

   Taking a whiff I’m a bit surprised at the fact that lime seems to be the obviously more powerful flavor in Bubble Up… maybe I’ve written it off too soon.  Time for drinkin’.

   Before I go into the flavor aspect, I have to say that this is way less carbonated than I thought it would be.  I see bubbles clinging all over the sides of the bottle, but it has no bite to it what-so-ever.  Swishing Bubble Up around in your mouth thoroughly gets you the sharpness in mouth feel you should have received when you first opened it.   As for the flavor of the three most common lemon/lime beverages it might compare to, Sprite is your winner there.  I wouldn’t label Bubble Up as a lemon-lime soda though.  If this were a race, the lime flavored horse would be about a lime flavored horse length ahead of the lemon flavored horse.  A more honest flavor would be lime-lemon, but that doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue as well.  If they wanted to face lawsuit I guess they could say it had a Lymon flavor.  I can’t tell you how many times Mike and I reference bank lollipops when talking to one another about soda flavors, but the lime in this does taste lightly of lime bank sucker.  Bubble Up isn’t particularly different in any way, but if you see it and it’s cheaper than the mainstream.

~A

Twist enjoys a free Bubble Up with a bowl of rainbow stew.

Big Pineapple

   I’ve had this Big Pineapple in my fridge for a while now.  We’ve done at least two sodas from all of the sample packs we’ve been mailed, so it’s time to get to a few fan given sodas.  As you could probably guess, this was given to us by a fan… so a big thanks to Kyle R.  The other pineapple sodas I’ve tried remind me of that relative you only see at the yearly family reunion.  He’s probably nice, and you may share a few words, but next year you’re gonna be asking your mom his name again.  For those of you who didn’t get that awesome analogy… pineapple soda is ok, but I haven’t had one that just blew me out of the water.

   The color of this soda is a bright yellow, which is fun, and it matches the splash yellow label as well.  While Big Peach had a realistic looking peach on the label, this has an obviously drawn pineapple.  It’s an ok looking pineapple, as pineapples go, but I wish it was bigger.  They could really stylize the fruit on their labels, and make the art pop a little more.  It's time to open this up for a sniff, or maybe even two.

   This smells like sugar first, and then pineapple… but at least it smells like the fruit it’s labeled with.  In fact I might go so far as to say that it smells like a pineapple upside down cake.  Here’s the part where I’d like to inform you that I’m going to drink the beverage now.  I wish I had some catch phrase I could use like “It’s drinkin’ time”, but that reminds me too much of “It’s clobberin’ time”.  If any of you think of a cool catch phrase for me to use, do tell.  Chug-a-lug!

   It has an initial bite that I didn’t expect, but that quickly dissolves into a muted pineapple taste.  To tell you the truth this isn’t nearly as strong I was expecting it to be.  When it first hits your mouth, it’s bubbly, a little tangy, and enjoyable, followed by the muted pineapple.  The second, third, and fourth times are a repeat of the first.   This fifth time though, something different happened.  It’s like the muted pineapple taste was building upon itself in my mouth.  It was no longer a weak taste, but one that was flavored how I initially thought it would be.  I’ll tell you right now though, this is the best pineapple soda I’ve had… then again I don’t think I’ve had more than three.  This could potentially quench your thirst, but I'd say it works better as a stand alone "treat".  Sadly there is nothing that truly sets it apart from the other few pineapple sodas I’ve tested.  I will say though that after drinking this I’m much more excited to find a truly awesome pineapple soda.

~A

Twist's best friend used to be a pineapple

Moxie

   Well here we are at review 100.  First off thanks for your readership as we moved from our humble beginnings on livejournal, to the multi-million dollar corporation we are today.  Oh wait… we haven’t made a dime, but we’re millionaires at heart.  Today’s beverage was the most suggested beverage when we asked our readers what the 100th review should be… Moxie.  If you listened to the Popcast you'd know that.

   Moxie is one of the oldest sodas out there, some say THE oldest.  Really it’s very close between Moxie, Vernor’s Ginger Soda, and Hire’s Root Beer.  Looking upon the label I can tell you right away that this is no longer the original formula.  Replaced with chemicals I assume, with one exception that reads “Gentian Root Extractives”.  I’m pretty sure that one ingredient is going to give off a very unique flavor.  Before I go any further I just want to mention how much I enjoy the label art of Moxie.  The label is a man in a business suit pointing at you… it’s amazing.

   Upon opening up the bottle, with a rather bland cap I might add, it smells like it’s going to be one of the most awesome, unique root beers you’ve ever had.  I would even go so far as to say that it smells like a root beer/cola mix.  Let’s drink.

   The initial taste of moxie is great!  It has that root beer cola flavor you thought you would taste after smelling it.  It’s cool, refreshing, unique… something you could really see yourself buying from here on out.  “To Hell with Coke!” you’d say “I’m a Moxie Man now!”  Then something would go wrong in your mouth.  That sweet root beer/cola taste would fade away as the Moxie started its journey down your gullet.  What was once good, would now be replaced with evil.  The taste of pennies, dirt, and un-sweetened envelope glue now dance upon your tongue.  Your first reaction is to drink some more.  “This can’t be the aftertaste,” you’d say, “More Moxie should fix this right up.”  It won’t.  Sure, as long as the liquid stays in your mouth you avoid the horrible aftertaste, but who’s going to walk around with Moxie constantly swishing around their teeth.  While I don’t agree with pouring sodas over ice, this (ironically our 100th review) is a soda which must be.  Fortunately, pouring Moxie over ice cuts the horrible after taste in half.  It’s like watching your favorite sports team do really well against someone they weren’t supposed to beat, only in the 2nd half to have your entire team break their legs.  This is such a historic drink, with such a unique flavor that I have to recommend you try it.  So there you have it, one of the oldest sodas available, and our 100th review.  The next milestone is probably 250, so be patient, and keep reading.  Thanks!

 ~A 

Thank goodness Twist's taste buds aren't real