7UP

I didn’t think I’d be writing a review of 7UP, but here we are. Back in 2011 I reviewed Retro 7UP, the cane sugar sweetened version of what I’m about to drink. Since 7UP, in it’s most common state, is filled with HFCS it felt needed to included on the site. Is this considered stat padding? Perhaps… but it’s different enough to count, just like you. There, don’t you feel motivated now?

Opening the can created a thunderous crack, much more so than any cans I can remember opening in recent memory. The scent that wafts out is a familiar one, more crisp lime than lemon but so bright a smell that it’s hard to not just call it citrus. Let’s drink, shall we?

A somewhat sticky lime/lemon taste immediately coats my mouth. Through no fault of it’s own I remember being sick. You see, 7UP was the “go to” cure all for an upset stomach in my house as a kid, often paired with a sleeve of Ritz crackers. So while 7UP is by far and away my favorite of the mainstream lemon/lime sodas, there is also the curtain of sick nostalgia that weighs it down.

The sips begin with a sharp burn on the back of my throat, and after three or four a burp is summoned burning just a little bit more skin off the ol’ uvula. The lemon and lime play nicely together, sharing my tastebuds equally. The aftertaste is sticky, but pleasant. It mirrors the initial flavor of the beverage instead of being some fun house mirror version of it. All in all I still enjoy the occasional 7UP and often keep it stocked in my fridge along side the Dr Pepper. Are they the fanciest sodas around? No, of course not, but they hold strong in my own personal culture.

~A

Dr Pepper

How have we not reviewed Dr Pepper in the year of our lord two thousand seventeen? Perhaps I avoided it as I would avoid cutting myself as the lifeblood that flows throughout my veins is not so dissimilar to the nectar that is Dr Pepper. Often imitated never duplicated (though Dr B from HEB comes pretty close) Dr Pepper stands atop a mountain of others like Dr Thunder, Dr Dynamite, and the now vanquished Mr. Pibb who was so embarrassed that he changed his name to Pibb Xtra even though no one calls him that.

Cracking open a Dr Pepper gives way to a cherry scent, one of the 23 flavors it claims to have. Cherry is backed by plum in my humble opinion, but with 22 other flavors to choose from it’s just as likely a combination of them.

The taste is one of familiarity. With the exception of citrus, Dr Pepper is somewhat of an everything soda. Cola, root beer, cream soda, and fruit sodas are all represented within each sip. Dr Pepper is sweet, sweeter than most colas… even Pepsi. The smooth texture makes coming back to the can easier than ever, but there’s a slight burn in the back of the throat created by the carbonation. The carbonation in a Dr Pepper is sneaky, seemingly smooth, but will immediately remind you within a few sips that you have ingested quite a few bubbles.

Dr Pepper builds on itself a little with each sip, but eventually plateaus before it becomes overwhelmingly sweet. My teeth can definitely feel the syrupy goodness, so a glass of water is usually welcomed after I’ve finished a can or bottle. That said, it’s a delightful soda all around and one I keep in stock at all times.

~A

Champ's Cola

We’ve got an odd situation today.  I have a can in front of me that’s identical (except the name) to Quinabeer.  It’s red and has “Champion George Prince” on it flexing.  Seriously how many other cans of soda would look like this?  

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So much flexing.

My concern is that Champs Cola (btw I’m reviewing Champs Cola today) is just a rebranded Quinabeer.  If that’s the case then I’m going to be a little sad.  If that’s NOT the case then I’m going to be perplexed as to why an exact labeling doppleganger (minus the name) was created.

It smells like a bubble gum cream soda so I’m starting to think this is the exact same beverage.  That’s ok, I’ll still review it.  That way if someone (you) searches for Champ’s Cola they have an entry to find.  

Who knows, perhaps I’ll forget what I thought about it before and rate it differently.  I seriously hope that I don’t, but I’m not going to read my Quinabeer review until after I’m done.

Ok, so it’s a bubble gum cream with a hint of orange soda to boot.  It’s this orange kicker that makes me not dismiss it immediately as a bubble gum monstrosity.  I’m not big on the bubble gum if you haven’t concocted that thought yet.

Even though the orange is pleasing to my pallet the bubble gum is just too overpowering for me to really get into this soda.  That’s unfortunate for Champ’s Cola as I think expounding on the citrus flavor could really make this go a long way.  That’s kind of a cocky thought, but I’m a “Jerk” so it should be expected.

All in all, Champ’s Cola aka Quinabeer aka Champ’s Cola, has the makings of being excellent, but the ratios just aren’t quite there.

~A

This was given to me by Rasslin’ Jakit

Jupina

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I like this picture more than I should

Just when you think you have nothing to review someone goes to the Grand Cayman Islands and grabs you a soda.  Three sodas to be exact… well two sodas from Grand Cayman and one from Mexico.  The one in question today is Jupina, with a tilde over the “n” although I’m not really sure how to do that.

The labeling of Jupina involves a picture of a pineapple upon a pineapple background.  There’s a lot of pineapple involved here so let’s go ahead and assume that’s the flavor.  The ingredients show that this can has 50 grams of sugar in it.  That my friends is a bunch o’ sugar.  Other ingredients listed are standard artificially flavored soda fare.  Let’s crack the can and give it a go.

It smells a little bit like an orange pineapple mix, but I’m still thinking this is primarily a pineapple soda.  Trust me when I say I’d prefer it be orange/pineapple.  I’m not sure why you wouldn’t trust me on that, or why I even needed to say “trust me”.

That is not the color of a pineapple soda.  That is the color of a cream soda.  I’m now officially worried.

I’m no longer worried.  This is a pineapple cream soda and I’m 100% cool with that.  Pineapple cream isn’t something I’m used to, but the combo works out nicely.  In the case of Jupina though the cream outweighs the pineapple.  

This heavy cream taste keeps the pineapple’s bite at bay.  Not that a pineapple is a very violent fruit, but it’s not as tame as Jupina makes it seem.  Reaching the end of the sip you’re tapped by the grenade like fruit.  Honestly I’d compare it to someone accidentally shoulder checking you in a crowded venue.  It’s a little unexpected, but as long as you’re not a complete jerk you’ll quickly forget about it.

I can honestly say that Jupina has exceeded my expectations as a soda.  Perhaps if I could read the Spanish language I’d know it was pineapple cream, but I feel I enjoyed it more being a surprise.  

If I could change any aspect of it I’d add a bit more pineapple taste to give the end a little more violence.  The smooth cream start and bumpy end would be a nice ride for a soda to give.  

This soda was given to my by Rasslin’ Jakit

Goslings Ginger Beer

I’ve seen a lot of mascots on labels before, but never a seal until today.  Goslings Ginger Beer has a drawing of a seal on it’s label.  The seal has a life preserver around its neck with the word “Stormy” on it. This allows me to assume that it’s name is Stormy the Seal which is a perfectly acceptable name for a seal.

Stormy sits on the words “Ginger Beer” and underneath that “The refreshing zip of ginger”.  Now ginger is a lot of things, but “refreshing” was never something I’d attribute to it.  

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A seal, a hippo, and an iguana review a soda...

Ingredients wise this is comprised of carbonated water, HFCS, natural ginger beer flavor, citric acid, gum acacia, and ester gum.  Which one of those ingredients bothers you the most?  If it’s not “natural ginger beer flavor” then I’m questioning your questioning ability.

What is “natural ginger beer flavor”?  It’s clearly not “ginger” because I believe they’d have put “ginger” on the label.  Can you find “natural ginger beer flavor” in the wild?  Did they make a ginger beer through natural methods then steal it of its flavor? Isn’t a ginger beer one part carbonation and one part natural ginger beer flavor?  SO MANY QUESTIONS!  Enough questions, it’s time to drink.

Goslings Ginger Beer has the lightest of scents.  The little bit of aroma I can discern is more citrus than ginger.  HOLD THE PHONE.  This is the Official Ginger Beer of the 35th America’s Cup.  How did I not see this?  This better be fan-freaking-tastic if it’s the official anything of anything.

After the first sip my concern has cooled a bit.  Goslings Ginger Beer may have ridiculous ingredients and be an official something of something, but it’s better than I thought it’d be.  The mouthfeel is cool, crisp and refreshing at first.  This experience transforms smoothly into the ginger burn you’d expect with a ginger beer.  It’s a strong burn, but not overly so.  Strong enough that I’m enjoying the pain, but not so much that it’s keeping me from wanting to go back.

On the downside, I am noticing the more I drink this the more the cracks are starting to show.  What started off as cool and refreshing is being replace with metallic and medicinal.  The burn is unchanged, but overall Goslings Ginger Beer does not build upon itself well.  Odd how an experience can change so quickly.

So there you have it, Goslings Ginger Beer starts off well, but ultimately doesn’t meet the mark set by many of the ginger beers before it.

~A

This was purchased at an HEB grocer

MTN Dew Baja Blast

I don’t even know what to call Mountain Dew anymore.  Is it “Mtn Dew”, “mtn dew”, “MTN DEW”, or are we supposed to pretend the can still says “Mountain Dew”?  Either way my fridge was running low on soda to review so I grabbed a can of MTN Dew (my personal interpretation of what’s right) Baja Blast.  

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Baja is one of Twist's many middle names

For some reason my brain thought it’d be best if I chose the 24oz can.  I have no idea why I thought that much MTN Dew would be appropriate for me, but here we are.  For those not in the know MTN Dew Baja Blast was a flavor that was only found at Taco Bell for the longest times.  Then a few months back they released it into the wild for a limited time.  MTN Dew fans went nuts.  At the time it happened I took notice and probably thought, “I should pick up a really giant can of that one day for review”.  Well now you’re here reading that review that was thought of so long ago.

Look on the side of most any mainstream soda and you’ll get the same ingredients as Baja Blast.  It’s a combo of caffeine, HFCS, Artificial/Natural Flavors, chemicals, and colors.  Ultimately it’s supposed to embody a “tropical lime flavor” according to the can.  Hopefully they’re right.

Well it smells like lime MTN Dew so I can’t be too angry at that.  Even though I just started walking the trail I’m quite pleased with the scenery.

Wow, this might be a top three MTN Dew flavor for me.  It does have an oddly smooth and candy like lime taste, but it doesn’t seem overly sweet to me.  The well known original MTN Dew flavor is hidden behind the foliage of the lime, making the journey feel safe.  This isn’t the dangerous Code Red (my favorite MTN Dew flavor), but it’s different enough to feel new.  

I’ll be honest, I opened this comically large can thinking I’d dislike this flavor.  MTN Dew is hit or miss for me and I fully expected this to whiff.  It’s amazing this soda doesn’t taste like crow.  It doesn’t have a heavy syrup feel to it, the carbonation isn’t overly strong, the flavor isn’t overpowering.  It’s a really easy soda to drink.  As with most things there are a few negatives.

First off the taste builds on itself a little awkwardly.  It’s like my tastebuds are anticipating each sip now so the initial tastes are more enjoyable than the later ones.  There is a bit of an aftertaste as well.  It’s not unpleasant, but it doesn’t fall into the category of good either.  While it does taste different from original MTN Dew it’s still a fairly safe alteration of it.  That’s not a huge knock against it, but I do wish the lime flavor could be featured a bit more prominantly.

So there you have it, a handful of good things and a couple bad, some of which might be nit picky.  All in all though I enjoyed my time with Baja Blast.  Code Red and Original Dew are still one and two, but at least now I have a solid three.  So here’s to knowing my top three Dew flavors and to MTN Dew for always taking chances.

~A

This can was purchased at good ol’ Wal-Mart

Sprite LeBron’s Mix

There are two entities on this earth I trust to make a delicious special edition soda, the video game industry and basketball players.  Fortunately today’s entry is from the latter.  Sprite LeBron’s Mix is basketball’s own LeBron James’ own personal mix of Sprite.  I didn’t catch any commercials for this, but I picture him in a lab coat with goggles holding test tubes or something at the Sprite laboratories.  

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Twist also took his talents to Miami before returning home. He was arrested.

All of that potentially imagined lab work resulted in a “Lemon-Lime Soda” that is “Natural cherry and orange flavored with other natural flavors”.  The word natural is so nice they worked it in twice.  Let’s see what else is in the bottle.  Carbonated water, high fructose corn syrup, citric acid, sodium citrate, and a dash of sodium benzoate for luck.  Man, LeBron really knows his stuff.  If only Hotlips or Swamp Pop had gotten a hold of his soda making prowess.  Enough chit chat, time for reviewing.

Immediately this smells better than regular Sprite.  The orange aroma jumps out immediately and attacks the ol’ olfactory gland.   I’m having a harder time finding the cherry.  Hey!  You in the back with the sophomoric mind.  Quit snickering.  Anywho, I’m having a harder time finding the cherry, but hopefully it’ll be there in taste.  Let’s find out.

Oddly enough I taste more of the cherry than I do the orange.  Both of these tastes, as natural as they may be, seem artificial to me though.  That’s not to say this isn’t good.  Sprite LeBron’s Mix is better than original Sprite yet worse than Sprite Remix.  Of course there are a lot of sodas worse than Sprite Remix.  The guy that gave this to me said he felt it tasted like Surge cut with Sprite.  I can definitely see where he came to that conclusion, but I’d need to taste more orange to completely agree.  

The carbonation level seems to be on par with Sprite, perhaps a little too carbonated.  The syrupy mouthfeel of Sprite is lessened to some degree, which is nice.  All in all though this tastes like cherry Sprite with some orange and smells like orange sprite with some cherry.  The more I drink it though the less natural it tastes so I’m going to stop now.

~A

This soda was given to me by Wrastlin’ Jakito

Quinabeer

George Prince flexes his impressive biceps on a can of Quinabeer.  I don’t know who George Prince is though.  My brief search led me to more picture of the young Prince George than I cared to look at.  Quinabeer is made by Cawy and other than having a “body builder” on it’s label it resides in a red can.  Now Coca Cola has done a pretty fantastic job of making me associate red and white cans with Coke, so I immediately assume that Quinabeer is a sort of cola.  It probably isn’t, but that’s what 32 years of marketing has done to my brain.  Let’s find out what it really tastes like, together.  Except for those of you who already know.  You be quiet.

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George Prince once claimed a victory over Twist. Perhaps this is why you've never heard of him.

Well this smells like orange soda.  I no longer have any clue regarding Quinabeer.  The scent did make me salivate though, so good on them.

If Big Red had orange flavoring it would taste like this.  A coupling of orange and bubble gum, Quinabeer is truly unlike anything I’ve tried to date and that’s getting harder and harder to do.   Both of these flavors have equal billing in the program and neither outshines the other.  This balance is met with a rather raucous carbonation that sizzles at the end of each sip.  I’m usually not a fan of bubble gum flavored sodas, but the citrus cuts into it enough that I can forgive it.

Now for the bad.  Quinabeer leaves a very syrupy feel in my mouth.  Its flavor just kind of hangs about like a kid who graduated still lurking around his high school.  Sure, maybe he was a great guy when he was a senior, but now it’s just kind of creepy and you wish he’d go away.

Creepy guy aside, Quinabeer does have a combination like I’ve never seen but the flavors involved are just alright.  I’m not going to tell my friends that I tried Quinabeer.  Don’t get me wrong, I consider all of you my friends… but you understand… right?  The fact that the entire time I typed this paragraph my mouth was occupied by the syrupy ghost of George Prince has me questioning my initial ranking.  Ah well, better luck next time.

~A

This soda was purchased at World Market

Cawy Lemon Lime

Welcome to “Plain-cans-ville”.  This can of Cawy Lemon Lime, much like it’s Watermelon soda, looks like something you’d see in a sitcom vending machine.  It’s made by Cawy and the flavor is lemon lime.  That’s all the label wants you to know.  Oh, and there’s some snowflakes of some sort as well… perhaps they’re stars.  Who knows?  

If I judged books by their covers I’d say this is going to be insanely generic although I’m happy to see the ingredients include extract of lemon and lime oils.  Perhaps this one ingredient will push this from generic to recomendable.  That’s quite the important leap in rating.  Let’s find out together shall we, as we always do… because we’re a team you and I.

A stronger than expected lemon lime scent (heavier on the lemon) pops out of the mouth of the can.  Aside from being strong the aroma itself is nothing special.  I’m ok with “regular aromas” though because they’re more likely to lead to average or good drinks than they are bad.  Either my expectations will be met or they’ll be exceeded.  C’mon, buddy.  Let’s you and me find out together.  Team us!

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You're a syrupy aftertaste!  No, you are!

Two things.  Thing one is the fact that this is more lime based in terms of flavor than it is lemon.  Does that make it a Lime Lemon drink?  Thing two is the fact that there’s something off about the taste of this, but i can’t put my finger on it.  Perhaps “Thing two” will go away the more I consume as my palette gets used to the flavor.  

Cawy Lemon Lime does have a decent amount of flavor to it.  Thankfully this flavor is pretty good and in my opinion better than Sprite, but not quite as good as 7Up if we’re going to compare.  The lime taste I’m getting is fairly sweet and candy like while the lemon seems to be on par with other limon sodas.

As I hoped “Thing two” is pretty much fading away although I think I figured it out.  Some drinks have syrupy aftertastes that linger after each sip.  Cawy Lemon Lime gives you this experience right off the bat.  The first thing I taste is that syrupy aftertaste and it lingers throughout the entire duration of my sip.  On the plus side the more I drink the less I notice it as it builds upon itself to the point where everything tastes kind of syrupy candy limey.  That’s the kind of review you get here folks.  What does Cawy Lemon Lime taste like?  Well it’s kind of syrupy candy limey.  Good night, everybody!

~A

This soda was purchased at World Market

Cawy Watermelon

This can of soda looks like something you’d see on a television show.  Like a bag of “Let’s Potato Chips” it just looks incredibly fake.  The word “Watermelon” is emblazoned at the top of the can with a country bumpkin kid below enjoying the worlds largest piece of watermelon.  Only after searching the can for a bit do I see that it’s made by Cawy.  Cawy was an international brand founded in Cuba, but is now headquartered in Miami, Florida.  

A scroll with French words on it label one side of the can while what can only be assumed to be the English translation occupy the other side.  “Soda, Naturally and Artificially Flavored” it says.  Let’s run the other side through Google Translate and see what we get.  “Soda flavored with watermelon.”  That’s not quite the same thing at all.  In fact according to the ingredients it’s a straight up lie.  Natural flavors aren’t even a listed ingredient.  This Cawy Watermelon is getting shadier by the second.  Better open it up before I learn too much.

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Twist is crying.  You just can't tell.

Ok, so it smells like watermelon and a little bit of cantaloupe.  In case you’re not aware, I’m under the belief that cantaloupe was created by the devil.  Why else would it taste so foul?  Clearly Satan made it to trick people into eating it.  Every fruit it touches it ruins.  It’s truly an evil fruit.  With that said I really don’t want to drink this.

I have no idea what this even tastes like.  It’s not “projectile vomit” bad, but I’m almost certain I won’t be finishing this can.  A sickly sweet watermelon(?) taste oozes over the entirety of my mouth.  Even my lips are subjected to this interesting flavor.  When I’m not tasting watermelon(?) I’m tasting bubble gum and I’m pretty sure I shouldn’t be.  The mingling of the two flavors results in the birth of a sugary medicinal baby.  Quite similar to Amoxicillin, but add a terrible watermelon(?) taste to the mix.

I think I’m going to stop now.  Don’t get me wrong there is a very brief upside to this soda.  Remember?  It’s not “projectile vomit” bad.  This baby doesn’t taste very good.  At the right angles he’s cute, but once you really get to know him you’ll be happy you never had kids...or if you did have kids they grew up and became root beer or cola.  You know, something respectable.

~A

This soda was purchased at World Market

Nesbitt's Honey Lemonade

I like lemonade.  Who doesn’t?  Don’t answer that because I would judge you harshly.  I also like soda.  Who doesn’t?  None of you because you’re reading this site.  I seriously doubt my prose are impressive enough to pull people (if you can call them that) that hate soda.  So since I like both lemonade and soda you know I love it when a carbonated lemonade finds its way in front of me.  Today that beverage is called Nesbitt’s Honey Lemonade and their logo is fantastic!  It’s the kind of logo I would proudly wear.  A circular logo that half lemon and half honey comb.  Genius!  

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Twist is disappointed, but you didn't hear it from me.

Looking at the ingredients I see this is sadly sweetened with HFCS, but also includes honey!  It’s listed right there next to Yellow #5 so you know it must be an important ingredient.  Yellow #5 and Honey working together as they always should.  OK, so I wish this was a little more natural of a drink.  Perhaps the flavor will make me forget my wish.

Impressively enough the aroma that comes off the bottle is indeed a mixture of lemon and honey.  The honey rides in on the tart scent of the lemon.  He’s waving wildly to make sure I notice him and see the neat trick he’s doing, but I knew he was there from aroma alone.

That is the finest (in the minimal sense) carbonation level I think I’ve ever encountered.  Such a miniscule amount of fizz, barely enough to even register as a mouth feel.  Like a feather tickling an elephant it is.  I understand they didn’t want to take away from the fact that it’s a lemonade, but c’mon.

As for the flavor I see why the honey was trying to get my attention earlier.  If I didn’t know about him it would be easy to just think this was a sweet lemonade.  Thankfully he waved at me so I can appreciate the mild honey flavor I get with every sip.  Average is how I would rate the lemonade portion of this soda.  It’s not all that flavorful and you could replicate it by purchasing numerous other products.  

Now that I’m at the bottom of the bottle I’m finding that the honey flavor stacks on itself a little bit.  It’s not enough for me to rethink the rating of this beverage, but it’s a neat thing to look forward too.  All in all this is a fun concept that ended up being a passable soda.

~A