Cawy Watermelon
/This can of soda looks like something you’d see on a television show. Like a bag of “Let’s Potato Chips” it just looks incredibly fake. The word “Watermelon” is emblazoned at the top of the can with a country bumpkin kid below enjoying the worlds largest piece of watermelon. Only after searching the can for a bit do I see that it’s made by Cawy. Cawy was an international brand founded in Cuba, but is now headquartered in Miami, Florida.
A scroll with French words on it label one side of the can while what can only be assumed to be the English translation occupy the other side. “Soda, Naturally and Artificially Flavored” it says. Let’s run the other side through Google Translate and see what we get. “Soda flavored with watermelon.” That’s not quite the same thing at all. In fact according to the ingredients it’s a straight up lie. Natural flavors aren’t even a listed ingredient. This Cawy Watermelon is getting shadier by the second. Better open it up before I learn too much.
Twist is crying. You just can't tell.
Ok, so it smells like watermelon and a little bit of cantaloupe. In case you’re not aware, I’m under the belief that cantaloupe was created by the devil. Why else would it taste so foul? Clearly Satan made it to trick people into eating it. Every fruit it touches it ruins. It’s truly an evil fruit. With that said I really don’t want to drink this.
I have no idea what this even tastes like. It’s not “projectile vomit” bad, but I’m almost certain I won’t be finishing this can. A sickly sweet watermelon(?) taste oozes over the entirety of my mouth. Even my lips are subjected to this interesting flavor. When I’m not tasting watermelon(?) I’m tasting bubble gum and I’m pretty sure I shouldn’t be. The mingling of the two flavors results in the birth of a sugary medicinal baby. Quite similar to Amoxicillin, but add a terrible watermelon(?) taste to the mix.
I think I’m going to stop now. Don’t get me wrong there is a very brief upside to this soda. Remember? It’s not “projectile vomit” bad. This baby doesn’t taste very good. At the right angles he’s cute, but once you really get to know him you’ll be happy you never had kids...or if you did have kids they grew up and became root beer or cola. You know, something respectable.
~A
This soda was purchased at World Market
