Hippo Size Prodigious Peach

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I’m exhausted.  We have a baby that doesn’t like to sleep and it’s wearing on me.  I didn’t even want to do a review tonight, but I remembered seeing a bottle with a hippo on it at some point so I figured what the hey.  This hippo is on a bottle of Hippo Size Prodigious Peach.  Makes enough sense for me to continue.  Hippo Size Prodigious (not a word a sleepy person likes to type over and over again) Peach is sweetened with cane sugar and better be pretty dang good to be worth my while.  I could be sleeping, you know?  For some reason the label says it’s a “Small Bottle. BIG Taste”.  That’s a lie.  It’s a 12oz bottle like every other glass soda bottle out there, it’s just has a wider base so it’s shorter.  Lying is not what you should do to a cranky man, Hippo Size.

Twist raised a pack of hippo children once in the 1700's

If the taste is anything like the smell that jumped out of the mouth, then the label lie may become a half truth.  A pungent peach aroma quickly made its exit and started up my salivary glands.

Half truth confirmed.  Hippo Size Prodigious Peach kicks down the door of my mouth and sprays fizzy peach goodness all around.  It’s got a biting mouthfeel like a cheap grape soda and it’s wonderful.  I love it when a fruit soda makes my mouth feel alive with a sharp carbonation burst.  The peach flavor is quite big, but I wouldn’t call it Big Peach.  You know why, because it’s better than that.  That’s right, this is a great example of what a peach soda should taste like.  It’s full of flavor and has a kick to it with every sip I take.

The downside is that even though it’s sweetened with cane sugar it leaves a syrupy feel within my mouth.  Thankfully this less than pleasant texture is paired with a more than pleasant aftertaste.  I liked Hippo Size Prodigious Peach quite a bit and hope I can find more of their beverages.  They’ve quelled a cranky, sleepless father.  Good on them.

~A

This soda was purchased at World Market

Phancy Soda Chanh Vietnamese Sparkling Limeade

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Sparkling limeade.  Those two words together make me so very happy.  So of course I grabbed a can of Phancy Soda Chanh Vietnamese Sparkling Limeade when I saw it.  The green color of the can coupled with the fun flower-esque designs grabbed my attention as well.  

The fact that it’s made with real lime juice is an added bonus.  In fact, here’s the ingredient list:  Purified sparkling water, pure cane sugar, natural lime juice concentrate, natural lime extract, natural flavors, citric acid.  My brain is hyping this up to be the most refreshing, most delicious limeade I’ve ever had.  The only way it can fail is if the flavor is watered down.

Twist is wishing he hadn't removed his salivary glands.

The scent doesn’t seem like it belongs to a watered down beverage.  It smells as strong as any limeade I’ve had which just gets me to salivating even further.  Like some Pavlovian dog my mouth waters at the opening of the can.  I can wait no longer.

I LOVE THIS AND EVERYTHING ABOUT IT.  This is almost exactly what my mouth wanted to drink.  The sour, bitter, sweetness of lime is easily identified making for an incredibly realistic flavor.  Why shouldn’t it be?  They used actual lime juice which is what absolutely MAKES this beverage.  Yes, the carbonation is fun and makes for a lighter mouth feel, but it would be nothing if it backed up a watery attempt at limeade.  

Each sip reaffirms my love of this soda.  Phancy Soda Chanh Vietnamese Sparkling Limeade is truly limeade soda in as pure a form as I can imagine.  There’s not a sugary candy lime flavor, there’s not a syrupy sweetness, there’s not a cartoon lime, none of this is to be found.  This is limeade soda.  If you don’t like limeade, you don’t like this soda.  It’s that easy.  

The only downside I’m finding is that it’s causing additional saliva to build within my mouth.  Sadly that keeps the soda from being all that refreshing in the long run.  This additional saliva is causing me to smack my lips to try and reduce this sensation.  It’s a little on the gross side biologically, but I’m hardly bothered by it due to my love of the flavor.

I’ll tell you right now that I love this soda more than most anyone out there.  I love limeade, a lot of people don’t.  Like I said before if you don’t like limeade then you won’t like this soda.  If you like limeade then buy all of this you can find.  

~A

This soda was purchased at World Market

Blue Plate Special Peach Cobbler Soda

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Twist is such a peach... well at least 7% of Twist is biologically peach.

I love cobbler.  In my world the order is: cobbler > pie > cookies > cake > cup cakes > cookie cakes.  My favorite cobbler is blackberry, but it most definitely must be coupled with a scoop of vanilla ice cream.  Sadly, todays drink is not blackberry cobbler flavored.  Thankfully it’s peach cobbler flavored, or at least it claims to be.  According to the ingredients Blue Plate Special sweetens with cane sugar and flavors with vague ideas.  I’m sure it would take a special chemical combination to get a good peach cobbler soda, so I’m willing to let that slide… only if it’s good though.

The scent that punches my nose is more peach than cobbler.  It’s impressively peach though, to the point where it’s easily comparable to the real thing.  This makes me happy, but a bit worried that the cobbler taste won’t be as strong as it needs to be.

That’s peach soda.  There is very little if any cobbler taste.  There is very little if any ice cream taste.  There is a whole lot of peach taste.  Second to only Big Peach is the strength of the fruit flavor created by Blue Plate Special.  It doesn’t taste too sugary; the carbonation levels are low but appropriate.  All in all it’s a pretty good peach soda.  

It does hang around my mouth a bit longer than I’d like it to.  Thankfully the after taste is pleasant enough that I don’t really mind.  Overall it’s a solid beverage, but it’s not peach cobbler.  No cinnamon, no all-spice, nothing.  Such a shame.  If this had even the slightest hint of cobbler taste I’d rate it one level higher.  Alas it does not, so be aware of that fact.

~A

This soda was purchased at World Market


Soda Boy Strawberry Cream

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I've never heard of Soda Boy soda.  I’m sure there’s several sodas out there that I haven’t heard of, but I figured I’d know about something called Soda Boy.  Either way today I’m reviewing a bottle of Soda Boy Strawberry Cream.  The smirking kid in the way too small blue hat assures me that it’s a “Quality Beverage”.  I’m sorry, but I don’t trust him.  It could be a quality beverage, but his face just screams Tom Sawyer mischief and I’m not all that keen on painting fences.  

Looking at the ingredients I see that Soda Boy uses cane sugar as a sweetener.  Perhaps ol’ Tommy S. wasn't lying about quality.  It also includes natural AND artificial flavors.  How very vague!  Why do I have this bucket of whitewash in my hand?

Twist has the heart of a Soda Boy...literally.  Don't ask.

Before I open and huff this I must say that the color of Soda Boy Strawberry Cream is a delightful pink with just the faintest hues of purple.  It really is an attractive soda to the eye.  Hopefully the scent is equally enticing.

The kid on the bottle is wearing a blue cap and the bottle cap is BLUE!  I love it!  Why didn't I notice it sooner?!  Anywho, an aroma that smells of strawberry Nerds leaps out of the bottle and starts assaulting my nostrils.  It’s quite pungent and has me a little worried that the sweetness will overtake the strawberry cream flavor.  My wife says it smells like when you just open a Kool-Aid packet and the powder goes up your nose.  She’s accurate in her assessment.

For a first sip that was really average.  It tastes of sugar, strawberry, and cardboard.  It’s an over candied strawberry soda which is really unfortunate.  The cream is completely overshadowed by the sugary strawberry taste.  Strawberry cream can be done correctly and when it is it’s wonderful.  In the case of Soda Boy Strawberry Cream all you taste is the sugar.  On the plus side it’s not a very syrupy soda.  Strawberry sodas are usually sugary syrupy messes and Soda Boy is half way there.  

It also has a taste that I can only describe as cardboard like.  Some sodas to me have a cardboard aftertaste, I honestly don’t know why, and this is one of them.  Orange Frostie’s also have this taste to me at the beginning of each bottle, but by the end of it I’m craving more like it’s giving me control of time and space.  Sadly, Soda Boy Strawberry Cream’s cardboard aftertaste isn't going away.

This isn't a terrible soda, but it is a sugary mess.  Perhaps if the carbonation were stronger the sweetness would be cut enough for this to be more enjoyable.  I’d still pick up another Soda Boy soda.  I need SOMETHING to drink after painting this fence.

~A

This soda was purchased from World Market


Xyience Xenergy Grape

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Another beverage from the folks at Xyience and it’s supposed to help with both energy levels and hydration.  What I’ve got in front of me is a can of Xyience Xenergy Grape.  From my previous Xenergy reviews I know that this is going to be more of a Gatorade/Powerade type beverage in terms of taste.  Hopefully it stands out enough from the pack that I can reward it with a good review.  Personally I think it’ll taste alright, but not be anything to write about...even though I’m about to.  Here’s to me being wrong.

Twist was a Xyience major in college...the first time.

A stronger than suspected grape aroma jumps out of the mouth of the can.  Immediately my doubts are turned into cautious optimism.  Will a truly delightful grape taste be awaiting me instead of the somewhat watered down version I was expecting?

Ok, we’re working with a couple of positives and a couple of negatives here.  Positive number one is the strength of the grape.  It is stronger than your G’s and P’s, but not quite as strong as a grape soda.  Even though it’s not carbonated there’s even a little bit of a punch to the finish.  It’s a very smooth drink and I would even classify it as refreshing.

The negatives, or negative in this case, stops this from being an above average drink experience.  With each sip I get a burst of Pedialyte taste.  Now while I’ve learned that many folks like the taste of Pedialyte I am not one of them.  This just opens up memories of when I was sick as a child.  You may have noticed that I use the Pedialyte comparison quite a bit when it comes to lifestyle beverages.  I think this is because their makeup is similar and their goal of hydration is the same.  Unfortunately I have negative thoughts regarding this taste so the review score usuall suffers.

In the case of Xyience Xenergy though I will give them credit for having a decent grape taste.  They do a really good job with their flavor even though they are sugar and calorie free.  So I at least recommend you pick up a can the next time you see it.

~A

This beverage was supplied to us by Xyience.

Wild Cherry Pepsi with Sugar

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Twist will also give you some sugar.

I like Pepsi.  They’re not my favorite cola, but I can appreciate a Pepsi.  I especially liked the throw-back series and their use of real sugar.  Granted it’s not cane sugar; I believe I read once that it’s beet sugar.  All that same though it still makes for a better Pepsi.  Mike handed me a can of Wild Cherry Pepsi that’s made with real sugar.  To be honest with you I don’t think I’ve ever had a cherry Pepsi before.  Kind of odd that I’ve tried all these different sodas, but one of the more common flavors has eluded me.  So let’s give it a go.

Cola is still the primary aroma that comes off the top of this can.  My nose has to search harder than I expected to to get ahold of the cherry scent.  It’s unmistakable once I hone in on it, but it did take a little bit of searching.

That’s alright.  Thankfully the cherry flavor is present with the initial gulp.  As soon as the soda hits my tongue it immediately confirms the flavor listed on the side of the can.  It’s not as rich and vibrant as I’d like it to be, but I wasn’t expecting a craft soda experience.

As mentioned before sugar is the sweetener in this beverage...sorry, REAL sugar.  It makes it so the Wild Cherry Pepsi doesn’t hold on to my teeth and tongue with a syrupy slime.  It would have made it a fairly clean beverage it if weren’t for the cherry flavoring itself.  Cherry is a hard flavor to replicate honestly.  It either tastes too sweet, too strong, too weak, or medicinal.  In the case of Wild Cherry Pepsi we’re going down the medicinal road.  It’s not so obvious of a pharmaceutical taste that I cringe, but it’s definitely a flavor I’m visited by during cold season.

The “not quite right” of the cherry really breaks apart what could be an above average soda.  Since this is Pepsi we’re talking about here there was little chance it would be awful.  There has been too much market research to release something like that.  Instead what we get is a very average cherry cola which is sweetened by sugar, but marred by a fake cherry sensation.

~A

 

Fanta Grape with Sugar

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I often complain that Texas doesn’t have the same number of soda makers than the Northwest seems to have.  We don’t even compare to the Northeast or the East Coast in general.  Austin is starting to come through on the soda end, but that’s just now picking up speed.  My complaints are usually silenced by someone saying “Don’t you get Mexican sodas in your grocery stores?”.  Yes, yes we do and I need to stop complaining because the sodas from Mexico are usually pretty dang good for a variety of reasons.  

Well don't you?

One of the biggest though is that they’re sweetened with cane sugar.  You can get a beverage that wouldn’t be anything but average here in the states, but the crisp sweetness of cane sugar can turn it all around.  That’s what I’m hoping for today in my review of Fanta Grape.

What’s that timeless saying?  Wanta Fanta?  Dontchu wanta, wanta Fanta?  After inhaling the sugary grape aroma that came pouring out of the top of this bottle...yes I do wanta Fanta.

This is an excellent example of a grape soda.  It’s sugary, but not obnoxiously so.  It’s artificially flavored, but keeps the fruit fun.  The taste doesn’t coat my mouth with grape nonsense, but allows a bit of a reprise between sips.  That of course is due to the sugar taking the place of high fructose corn syrup.  I do wish it had a bit more punch to it as I like my grape sodas violent.  I want my throat to burn a little.  I want to wince just the tiniest bit.  Fanta Grape is on the smoother side and the carbonation that it pairs with just sorta shows up at the end.

Some might turn their noses up at this sodas since it is a bunch of chemicals made to taste grape, but long time readers of the site know that’s right up my alley when it comes to grape sodas.  The flavor is strong although nothing I’m going to fawn over for the next few days.  It’s definitely a good soda and takes out it’s HFCS brethren easily.  Make it a little stronger and it’d really be a winner.

~A


Xyience Xenergy Pineapple

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Twist felt flat today, but his thighs looked GREAT!

Today’s Xyience experiment is pineapple flavored.  Technically this can of Xenergy is +Lemonade, whatever that means, in addition to being pineapple flavored.  I’m honestly not sure what to expect here, but I’m rolling with it.  Like all the other Xyience products that we’ve reviewed it’s sugar free and has zero calories.  They’ve been hit or miss so far in the flavor department so it will be interesting to see what side of the fence pineapple lemonade falls.

As the can cracks open the faint aroma that arrives is more lemonade than pineapple.  In fact I’d be amazed if I could identify this as pineapple flavored based on the scent alone.  Hopefully the taste doesn’t leave that much to mystery.

The initial taste I get is the tart bite of a lemon.  Slowly it washes away and transforms into the pineapple lemonade we were promised.  Truthfully it’s lemonade pineapple as the real star of the show cannot be mistaken.  Throughout the entire gulp the lemon teases the tip of my tongue with a tingle of sour.  This leaves the rest of my mouth awash with an average tasting lemonade.  It’s on par with Minute Maid lemonade, which to me is on the weaker side of the big name brands.  

Xyience Xenergy Pineapple is a very refreshing beverage.  Something I would happily reach for on a sweltering day.  It goes down smoothly which makes it easy to return for another sip.  The lack of sugar isn’t overly noticeable and the flavor while pleasant isn’t memorable.  All in all it’s a good energy drink, but an average tasting beverage.

~A

This beverage supplied to us by Xyience

Xyience Xenergy Tropical Punch

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So the last time I tried a Xyience Xenergy beverage I was quite impressed.  It was refreshing, the taste was pretty good, it was all I needed it to be.  Well today’s review is of Xyience Xenergy Tropical Punch where the key idea is Hydration.  Tropical Punch flavor is caffeine free, sugar free, and loaded up with B vitamins.  It’s also enhanced with electrolytes, but whatever.  I just want this to be a tasty fruit punch.

Upon cracking open the can I get a familiar aroma.  This smells a lot like Hawaiian Punch, but not quite as fierce.  So they have the proto-typical fruit punch aroma happening.  Will it translate into the flavor?

Meh, kinda.  This tastes like watered down tropical punch which makes sense because it’s a “Hydration” product.  I guess I should really be comparing the taste of this to Gatorade or Powerade, but I have my own standards of delicious tropical punch taste.  In this case the “punch” is limited and the “tropical” is boring.  As powerful as the flavors were in the last beverage I reviewed, typically much more subtle flavors at that, I expected topical punch to blow me away.

Twist was the muse behind 1999: A Space Oddity

Aside from being “watered down” there’s something in the aftertaste that just seems out of place.  It’s a combination of burn and bitter that lasts for just long enough to sour my opinion on this beverage.  The more that I chug it the more medicinal the aftertaste becomes.  Wandering away from tropical punch and moving toward Pedialyte.  I’ll be able to finish it this one time, but it’s not really something I’d be reaching for again.

So you’re saying to your monitor right now “Monitor, why be angry that a drink made for hydration is watered down?”  You monitor will respond with this next sentence.

“Dave, The Soda Jerks rank beverages based on taste and little else”

So after you unplug your computer to kill it remember what it said.  It Xyience Xenergy an alright hydrator?  Sure.  Do you want to have more than one in your fridge at any given time just to drink?  Unless you want a weak tropical punch flavored beverage with the aftertaste of medicine, no...probably not.

~A

This beverage supplied to us by Xyience

JOIA Ginger Apricot and Allspice

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How’s the old saying go?  JOIA, JOIA everywhere, and lots of flavors to drink?  I’m pretty sure that’s accurate.  Once again I have a bottle of JOIA in front of me.  This time it’s flavor is listed as Ginger, Apricot, and Allspice.  Three ingredients I enjoy, but never even thought about combining.  As with all JOIA beverages the flavors listed in the title are easily found in the ingredient list along with a host of other natural tastes.  You see, JOIA is an all natural soda with nothing artificial.  This allows me to expect every flavor combination to be at least above average, hopefully this bottle will meet those expectations.

The allspice and ginger are the strongest scents out of the mouth of the bottle.  It’s an aroma that I wouldn’t mind filling up my house.  Perhaps JOIA should start a candle business on the side.  I’d buy one.

Twist actually won Wrestlemania XII, but was disqualified and had to give up the belt.

Son of a gun, that first impression is a delightful one.  Immediately I see why ginger and allspice were the two scents greeting me from the get go.  Each sip I take is like watching them wrestle for dominance.  

Ginger punches Allspice in the throat, but Allspice recovers and jumps onto Ginger from the ropes.  Rolling out of the way, Ginger connects with Allspices kidney.  Allspice hits the mat and Ginger goes on top for the pin.  ONE, TWO, THR… Allspice is able to kick out of it, but rolls out of the ring in a daze.  Ginger charges after knowing that Allspice is weakened, but what’s this?  A chair clocks Ginger across the face.  HE’S NOT ALLOWED TO DO THAT!  HE’S NOT ALLOWED TO DO THAT! Ginger hits the mat unconscious and Allspice pins him down.  ONE, TWO, TH… a bottle is thrown from an unknown location knocking Allspice out.  The two spices are still in the middle of the ring.  Who threw the bottle?  It was Apricot.

That’s pretty much what my experience is like.  It’s a lot of spice fighting amongst the bubbles and I kind of forgot that there is even supposed to be an apricot flavor.  Then somewhere in the aftertaste I remembered.  While the spices were nice change of pace at first now they are starting to tire out my taste buds.  I want more of the fruit and less of the spice.  It’s no longer a refreshing beverage because of these uneven levels.  Perhaps if Apricot had been given the chance at the title he would have brought his A game.

~A

JOIA Orange Jasmine and Nutmeg

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So I’ve been sent several soda samples this year and fortunately the JOIA line was one of them.  The flavors I’ve had thus far were quite good and they don’t use any artificial ingredients either.  Today’s bottle of JOIA is of the Orange, Jasmine, and Nutmeg flavored variety.  The ingredients list each of the flavors titled plus a few extras like Monk Fruit, which is actually on the rise when it comes to soda making.  I’m not quite sure what this family of flavors will be like when combined, but I'm willing to bet it’ll be tasty.  

Twist has dated someone with all the listed names in this beverage.  Nutmeg was his favorite.

Twist has dated someone with all the listed names in this beverage.  Nutmeg was his favorite.

A delightful natural orange aroma rushes to the mouth of the bottle.  The nutmeg is also prevalent enough to make itself known with ease.  These two flavors don’t completely mask the jasmine, but they’re definitely the stars of this aromatic show.

A citrus kick right to the back of my throat is how I start my journey with this soda.  The orange and nutmeg once again working in tandem.  The nutmeg keeps the orange from tasting too acidic, creating a bitter flavor in the middle of my sip.  As the two power players work with one another the jasmine lilts in the background, creating a subtle sweetness.  Ultimately the orange is the most dominant of the three and has the final say as my gulp comes to an end.

Proving just as important is the small, but sharp bubbles experienced with each taste.  They keep the beverage alive and fun; stopping the orange/nutmeg combination from just sitting in your stomach as orange juice can sometimes do.  

All in all, JOIA Orange Jasmine and Nutmeg is a solid beverage.  All three of the flavors play their parts well, the ingredient list is fantastic, and it’s not just another fruit soda.  The bitter taste will not be pleasing to some, myself included, but it’s not so strong that you can’t enjoy the soda.  Pick up a few and share them with your friends, let them decide.

~A

Begley's and Bill's Bananas Foster

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The final beverage in my possession from Begley’s and Bill’s is Bananas Foster.  I’m fully expecting a taste of bananas and fire and will be disappointed if this is not achieved.  Ok, so I should probably lower my fire tasting expectations and just be on the lookout for vanilla, cinnamon, and perhaps a touch of rum flavoring.  

I’m going to limit my discussion of their sweetening agent to two sentences and then not mention it again as I’ve talked about it in the past three reviews.  B&B use SweetenFX which is their proprietary blend of stevia and erythritol to sweeten and it works quite well.  In other news, this will be my second or third banana flavored soda and my first bananas foster.  I’m quite excited to see what they can do.

Twist was the cause of the great banana famine of 1823

Twist was the cause of the great banana famine of 1823

This has the strongest scent of the four B&B sodas I’ve tried to date.  The aroma is not unlike banana Runts which give me pause.  I dislike banana Runts as should you.  I’m pretty sure they just use them as filler so the bags aren’t loaded up with strawberry and cherry.  This isn’t a candy blog though…yet…so let’s move on to the actual tasting.

Alright, this could be better.  It certainly has a banana taste to it, but it reminds me of a medicine that’s been given banana flavoring after the fact.  After my sip was finished the some of the other expected tastes came in on the back end.  Vanilla was the strongest, but still easily shoved aside by banana.  I hardly taste any cinnamon or rum and maybe I’m not tasting it at all.  Perhaps I’m just wishing the two flavors into existence.  That’s how faint they are.  

Each sip I take hurts my opinion of B&B Bananas Foster more and more.  The artificial banana taste builds upon itself like lincoln logs stacking higher and higher.  I’m pretty sure I’m about to reach a point where I don’t want to finish the bottle.  This is a different outcome than the previous three B&B sodas where each bottle was emptied.  Nah, I’m stopping here.  This review is poorly written, but the soda is poorly executed so we’re even.

Begley’s and Bill’s Bananas Foster is a good idea, but seems kinda halfway done.  There are so many parts to bananas foster and while they still might be under the hood the less than stellar banana flavoring is the engine.  Give it a shot if you want to, but I’d buy quite a bit before this.

~A

This soda was supplied to us by Begley’s and Bill’s

 

Kazouza Watermelon

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I ate some insane hot sauce today, 357 Mad Dog if you’re curious.  It was a rather painful experience, but I knew I had a soda review that needed to be written as well.  Sadly I had to wait until the hot sauce heat had worn off because I didn’t want to grant extra points for relieving pain.  So here we are, me a little bit smarter and you waiting for a review.  Today’s soda was purchased by you with your donations, I thank you.  What you bought me was Kazouza Watermelon Soda.  Checking out the ingredients I see this was made in Lebanon and contains 5% juice.  It also contains the “Esters of Wood Rosins”, so I got that to look forward to.  Let’s just get to it.

Watermelon scent slyly finds its way out of the bottle, hardly noticeable unless you’re looking for it.  There’s something off putting about the aroma as well, sort of a sickly scent.  I’m hoping that doesn’t translate its way into the taste.

Watermelon was the first currency used among iguanas.  Twist at one point controlled 6% of all watermelons. 

There is a light fizz to this refreshing watermelon soda.  It’s a fairly natural taste with a differing sweetness than you’d find in an actual fruit.  Watermelons are actually nauseating to me due to their cloyingly sweet taste, yet Kazouza Watermelon allows me to enjoy watermelon flavor without wanting to retch. 

Helping keep the soda from clinging to my teeth is the cane sugar it’s sweetened with.  While I do end up with some aftertaste I’m primarily given a clean finish with each sip.  It may take a few extra seconds, but ultimately the taste vanishes allowing for a soda that doesn’t built upon itself and overpower.

Kazouza Watermelon is alright.  I’m not going to run out and buy a ton of it because, as stated before, I don’t like watermelon.  If you like the taste of watermelon then I think you’d enjoy this soda.  Unfortunately for Kazouza my dislike of watermelon is going to come through in the rating of this soda.  Just keep that in mind, will you?

This soda was supplied to us by YOU!  Your donations allowed for us to purchase this for review. Thank you!

Route 66 Lime Soda

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You can either read 500 something reviews or this next sentence to catch up.  I like lime soda.  So when I was presented the funds (from you) to buy my own sodas of course I picked a lime flavored one.  Route 66 Lime Soda to be exact.  The bottle even says “Chosen by Soda jerks Every Time”.  If that’s not some sort of sign I don’t know what is.  The ingredient list is mostly chemical, but this is sweetened with “real” cane sugar so it has that going for it.  Above the ingredients is what I assume to be a “stopping point” on Route 66.  Today’s stopping point is the Chain of Rocks Bridge.  It’s over 5353 feet long and was constructed in 1929.  I’d tell you more about it, but I don’t want to spoil the ending.  What I do want to do is taste this anti-freeze green soda.

Route 66 Lime Soda smells of lime candy with a hint of cleaning product.  Preferably it will taste like lime candy and the cleaning product aroma will just add a needed kick to the mouth feel.  Bottoms up!

There’s more of a bitter taste to this soda than I anticipated.  Needless to say it cuts down on the potential to be candy sweet, but in doing so keeps the flavor more in the natural realm.  With that said, this is definitely not lime juice soda.  The sugar just takes a moment to get up and running before it can chase the mild bitterness away.  A bit of a syrupy texture is left on my teeth as I continue to consume this soda.  It’s not all that bothersome, but I’d rather do without it.  All in all I’m finding Route 66 Lime Soda to be rather average.  It tastes alright, but even as a lime lover I’d rather an average [insert fruit here] soda over this one. 

Caught somewhere between trying to be candy and trying to taste like lime, Route 66 Lime Soda just ends up being forgettably good.  If you just want a lime soda and you see this, then grab a bottle.  If you want a fruit flavored soda then just go for what looks best in your cup holder.

~A

This soda was brought to us by YOU!  The donations you supplied were used to purchase it!

Gross Gus's Pirate Piss

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Well those two lovely ladies, Alice and Diane, have saddled me with a bevy of terribly named sodas once again.  The first and least repulsive sounding of the four is a bottle of Pirate Piss.  How this is the least disgusting of the group will only be revealed in time.  For now I find it important to tell you that the actual flavor of this beverage is not Pirate Piss.  I’m sure several of you are taken aback that this bottle isn’t full of scurvy urine.  Thankfully the side of the bottle lets me know that this is indeed banana soda sweetened with sugar and a host of chemicals.  For realism purposes though they really did a great job on getting a dark urine color for the soda.  Moving on.

Twist will never know the satisfaction of an empty bladder

Twist will never know the satisfaction of an empty bladder

Pirate Piss has a banana scent that is fainter than I originally expected.  I assumed that if you’re going to have an outrageous name it would be backed up by an outrageous experience.  Honestly, they shouldn’t be faulted too much as banana doesn’t carry a strong aroma in the wild either.  Perhaps the taste will be the difference maker.

The carbonation within Gross Gus’s Pirate Piss is powerful.  Stinging bubbles rush at my lips and tongue, diverting my attention from the flavor with their abundance.  Bananas, to me, illicit a smooth sensation in the flavor department.  I never think of a banana flavored anything giving me reason for recoil due to mouth feel alone.  Once the over the top fizz goes away I’m left with a banana flavor that favors candy and not fruit.  This does not surprise me in the slightest.  Thankfully this candy banana taste isn’t overly sweet which allows me to go back for repeat swigs without being overpowered by sugar, something I do not think would be possible if this was sweetened with HFCS.  If you like banana sweets you’ll probably like Pirate Piss.  On the other hand, if you’re not on the banana train then you should probably steer clear of this soda.

Gross Gus’s Pirate Piss is a banana soda that is ultimately average in its delivery.  The good portions of this soda are buried so far within a carbonated curtain that they never truly have the chance to shine.

~A

Sodafruit Pashun Froot Soda

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If a bottle of soda could talk then this bottle in front of me would have an epic tale.  It started in New Zealand and boarded a wooden box with three of its friends.  This wooden box toured the world for about a month and a half before arriving at my doorstep.  Who knows what adventures it had out on the open seas, gallivanting with pirates and the like.  Upon opening said wooden box I was happy to see my new friend, a bottle of Sodafruit Pashun Froot Soda.  A particularly fun name that allows you to say the words in reverse order and still have the same beverage.  Exciting to try this new (not on the market yet) soda from Sodafruit I has no hesitation that I’d love it.  Then I saw the seeds. 

The seeds of a passion fruit are obvious especially when they reside in a delightful orange soda.  They look like a smaller version of a watermelon seed measuring about ¼ of an inch in length.  I asked the CEO of Sodafruit about this off putting look and he assured me that the best flavor he can make with a passion fruit involves the seeds.  Not being a soda maker I must trust this judgment, but I still researched it.  Passion fruit seeds are incredibly good for you, so while my tentativeness still lingers my fear of death has quelled. 

Why should I worry?  Why should I care?  This is from Sodafruit, one of my favorite makers of soda products.  They’ve never steered me wrong before, why would it now?  The ingredients listed are Carbonated Water, Cane Sugar, Passion Fruit Pulp, Lemon Juice, Spices, and a preservative that keeps it from fermenting.  See, nothing to worry about.

Interestingly enough I have no personal knowledge of the singled out flavor of a passion fruit.  A quick look into our database shows me I’ve never even had a passion fruit soda.  I’ve had sodas that use passion fruit in combination, but never just a passion fruit.  The time is ripe to try one.

Since there is a fair amount of pulp and seeds involved with this beverage I’m going to upend it prior to opening.  WOW, it’s like the tropics punched me in the nose.  An overwhelming aroma of passion fruit charges from the mouth of the bottle.  Immediately inviting my taste buds to the party it’s holding inside.  There’s no reason that I should show up fashionably late to this soiree.

Oddly enough, Twist isn't the seediest character in this picture

Oddly enough, Twist isn't the seediest character in this picture

It’s like I’m biting into a fruit.  Since I’ve never had a passion fruit I can only assume this is what one tastes like.  When “passion fruit pulp” pulp is your third ingredient it’s a safe bet your soda tastes like passion fruit.  Flavor aside, it’s the reaction this has with my mouth and the feel of the beverage that is reminding me of enjoying a tropical fruit.  A dash of carbonation adds to the citrusy punch of the added lemon juice.  This zesty sensation keeps the soda from feeling too heavy or syrupy, allowing you to go back for more without it feeling overly heavy.

 As far as the seeds are concerned, the majority of them are content to sit plainly at the bottom of the bottle.  Occasionally one swims up to go on its last hurrah and it’s at this point I’m not sure if I could chew them or just swallow them whole.   Swallowing them whole seems to be the best bet for me, but if you decided to chew that wouldn’t create an issue for you either.  Now that I’m nearing the bottom of the bottle the seed to liquid ratio is tilting toward heavy seed.  This caused the mouth feel of my last sip to be a bit bumpy, which I could definitely see being off putting for some.

Now here’s where I ask myself would I rather a lower quality passion fruit soda if it meant taking out the seeds?  No, I wouldn’t.  Sodafruit Pashun Froot Soda may be a bit off putting to look at, but it’s excellent in all aspects.  Perhaps a few less seeds would bump up the score to perfection, but like I said earlier… it’s a work in progress.

~A

This soda provided to us by Sodafruit

Pure Sodaworks Hibiscus Lemon

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I’ve never been one to drink flowers.  This is why I’ve saved the Pure Sodaworks Hibiscus Lemon for last.  Honestly I’m afraid I’ll hate.  Let’s see if I can guess what’s in it before I look at the ingredients.

The Soda Jerk’s Guess:  Sparkling Water, Pure Cane Sugar, Hibiscus, Lemon Juice.

Actual Ingredients:  Sparkling Water, Pure Cane Sugar, Hibiscus Flowers, Lemon Peel.

I feel I did pretty well, but I’m surprised to see this only contains lemon peel.  Perhaps the hibiscus flavor that I am so very unsure of will finally win me over in this form.  The soda is a pleasant rose color and WOW there is a bonkers amount of sediment in this bottle.  Ah well, when in Houston.

This smells not unlike a fruity tea with a squeeze of lemon.  With a deep inhalation I also get a flowery scent that while pleasant to the nose worries the mouth.  A little worry never did me any favors, so I feel it’s time to drink.

Now if it were dandelion lime...

Now if it were dandelion lime...

It’s like I’m drinking an all-natural ginger ale while walking through a rose garden.  The sweet aroma coming from the pedals mixes with the flavors within my mouth.  A second sip reveals that Hibiscus Lemon starts to stack on itself quickly.  Another visit sweetens the taste and brings out the hibiscus even more.  It still reminds me of a ginger ale, but that memory is quickly fading… fading… gone.  The confusing sensation of consuming the scent of a flower is now at the forefront.  I don’t exactly enjoy the taste I’m living, but I’m happy to see a legitimate hibiscus soda.

Each time I stop drinking to write my lips develop the flavor of a fruit tea.  It seems the scent I initially identified was also present in the flavor.  The lemon peel is hardly noticed and if I didn’t see the words on the label I wouldn’t even know it was there. 

Sigh.  I can tell this was masterfully made, but hibiscus flavored soda just isn’t for me.  Fruit flavored teas are a favorite of mine, but that’s only a sliver of the flavors I’m experiencing.  I’m afraid my writing skills have failed me in trying to describe this sensation, but I don’t hesitate to tell you that I think you should try it for yourself.  Perhaps just a bottle to start.

~A

 

This soda was provided to us by Pure Sodaworks

Pure Sodaworks Apple Pie

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Sweet, sweet, sediment.

One of the first sodas that truly amazed me was Reeds Spiced Apple Brew.  My fragile mind could not fathom that a soda could have the aftertaste of apple pie.  It was only until I tasted Soda Fruit Apple Crumble did I realize this fantastic flavor could even be replicated.  With those two companies excelling in the accomplishment of apple pie flavored sodas, I must say that Pure Sodaworks has their work cut out for them.  Pure Sodaworks Apple Pie is only going against two sodas, but those two sodas are both in my all-time top 5.  Best of luck guys, but your ingredient list of sparkling water, apple cider, pure cane sugar, cinnamon and vanilla allows me to think you’ve got a chance.

That smells like apple pie.  It doesn’t smell like apple pie soda, it smells like apple pie.  At this point I’m almost positive that I’m in for another treat.  Apple Pie soda is a rarity.  Technically Reeds Spiced Apple Brew is not one, but I consider it one due to its aftertaste.  I think the trifecta of apple pie soda is about to complete with my first sip.  Please don’t make a liar out of my imagination Pure Sodaworks.  Please don’t disappoint me.

I love you Pure Sodaworks.  I love your apple pie soda… at least that’s my initial reaction.  What impresses me the most is how true the apple flavor is to what you’d find in an apple pie.  The caramel apples buried beneath the crust are mirrored in taste within this bottle.  Light carbonation dances about in the background as it’s pleased to be playing second fiddle to the taste at hand.  A finale features the initial players of Apple, Cinnamon, and Sugar, but another actor has appeared on the stage.  Vanilla.  She hadn’t been present before, but now you can’t take your eyes off of her.  Gracefully she blends in to the rest of the company and it’s like she was there the whole time.  They all take a bow and you’re mouth is left empty.  Yet, you still have the memories of the performance and they’re not syrupy sweet.  They’re honest memories and you’ll tell your friends all about them.

That’s perhaps the “artsiest” review I’ve ever written, but who cares.  Pure Sodaworks Apple Pie is amazing and easily fills out the third spot in my Apple Pie Soda Trifecta.

~A

This soda supplied to us by Pure Sodaworks

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A “Twist’s Choice” Recipient

Pure Sodaworks Strawberry Jalapeno

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The last soda I will drink in 2013 needs to be memorable.  It needs to be unique.  It needs to be flavored with strawberry AND jalapeno.  Luckily my oddly specific requirements have been met in Pure Sodaworks Strawberry Jalapeno soda.  Hey, you wanna know what’s in this soda?  Sparkling water, Pure Cane Sugar, Strawberries, and Jalapenos.  That’s beautiful.  The soda itself looks like you left your lucky red hat on the dashboard of your car for about 10 years; pink, but just barely.  I’m just too excited to type any longer.  This experience needs to begin right now.

Ok, I cheated a little bit, but it wasn’t my fault.  I gently upended the soda to get the sediment mixed and upon opening I had to stop the flow of fizz from going everywhere.  I got a bit of a taste, but it was just the foam.  Let’s just pretend it never happened, ok?  The smell is primarily that of the strawberry and it smells like a scratch and sniff sticker.  So light and inviting I can’t wait to actually test out the beverage.

Just as the scent lead me to believe the strawberry taste is great!  It’s not sugary nonsense (as so many strawberry sodas are) and the carbonation levels that accompany it are quite effervescent.  With each sip I take the jalapeno grows more confident as the flavor takes hold of my mouth.  The actual taste of jalapeno seems to be missing, but the heat you’d feel from one is certainly present.  I compare it to the burn of a ginger beer, but this heat lingers quite a bit longer. 

Twist wants me to find a new background.  I can't say I disagree with him.

The further down the bottle I go the more the flavor tilts in favor of the jalapeno.  Our friendly, funny, fizzy strawberry friend waves goodbye as he walks back home.  Meanwhile jalapeno starts to show his true personality as if he was afraid to be himself around strawberry.  Perhaps he has a crush on strawberry’s sister and didn’t want any negative word to travel her way.  Sadly, like most cases he really just should have been himself the whole time.  That way we could have seen exactly how well strawberry and jalapeno worked with one another.

It’s clear to me that when they made this soda they really had to complete a balancing act to get them just right.  Too little strawberry and you’d just end up with a weird tasting soda that burns your mouth.  Too little jalapeno and you reach a point why you’re adding it at all.  I think the folks at Pure Sodaworks did an excellent job with the balance of this soda.  It’s sweet, light enough to be quite refreshing, and overall a very unique experience to be had in the soda world. 

~A

This soda supplied to us by Pure Sodaworks

JOIA Blackberry Pomegranate & Ginger

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For the time being (and it will be a short time) I’ve run out of my own stuff to review.  Thankfully the folks at ThirstMonger have kept me well stocked with other beverages, namely Joia.  We’ve reviewed a Joia flavor before and at the time I was rather impressed with their flavor selection.  Today’s offering deserves the same praise as the flavor listed is Blackberry, Pomegranate and Ginger.  In case you’ve forgotten, Joia is an all-natural soda sweetened with pure cane sugar and erythritol which is a natural sweetener.  Blackberry, pomegranate, ginger, and elderflower are all listed as ingredients as well, so I’m feeling pretty good about what I’m about to consume.  The healthy cranberry red color is also quite pleasing to the eye.  Enough chittering, time to crack this bottle open.

The aroma that comes off the top is not unlike a rose.  There is a sweet, flowery smell, that if huffed a bit stronger deconstructs (There, I wrote it.  I wrote one of the “fanciest” review words there is.  I’ve been trying to avoid that word, but it just came out this time.  Dang it.  I’ve sold out to the English language) into the listed fruit flavors on the bottle.  Let’s see if this superb scent translates into a terrific taste.  Double alliteration.  You like that?

That is an incredibly pleasant experience.  Immediately I’m shown that the level of carbonation has been though out.  It’s just the right amount of tickle when compared to the viscosity of the beverage.  It ultimately stays out of the way, but occasionally cracks a joke form the corner just to let you know he’s there. 

Even Twist can't break this c-c-combo

All three listed flavors have shown up for roll call and aren’t hiding toward the back of the group.  When I first take a sip the triple threat is at its strongest.  The blackberry and pomegranate stand tall upon my taste buds with a very noticeable ginger right behind them.  Pretend you’re playing “Red Rover” with fruit.  Blackberry and Pomegranate are on a team and they call out, “Red rover, red rover, let Ginger come over.”  Ginger releases whatever losers he was tied to and crashes into the arms of B.B. and Pommy.  That’s how Joia introduced this ginger flavor to my mouth.  You see him running up from the distance, gaining speed, like you’re about to be hit in the face with the burning sensation of ginger. 

Then right as he’s within spitting distance the arms of Blackberry and Pomegranate slow him down enough that they avert disaster.  Ginger may pull their arms back trying to break free, but B.B. and Pommy hold strong.  Take a mental picture of that.  Three “kids” playing this game and at this exact point having a great time either holding their friend back or trying to muster enough strength to power through.  All of them at this point in time are succeeding, the outcome is unknown, but the time had is excellent.  That’s what Joia Blackberry Pomegranate & Ginger soda is.  It’s a fantastic combination of fun, flavor, ingredients, and style.  This is a truly wonderful beverage.

~A