MTN Dew Voltage

At the time I bought this bottle of Mtn Dew Voltage I was running out of drinks… I still am but that’s beside the point.  I’ve never really been into the whole crazy Mtn Dew flavors thing, but I respect what they’re doing.  What caught my attention to this bottle of Mtn Dew Voltage (which this point on will be called simply “Voltage”) was the fact that it contains Ginseng.  Voltage immediately starts to slide down the grading scale with the words “Charged with Raspberry Citrus Flavor…” on the side.  First off this drink is blue and a primary flavor is Raspberry.  I dislike the idea of blue raspberry anything.  Secondly what is a “Raspberry Citrus” flavor?  To find that out I guess I actually have to consume it.  Alright then.  Here we go!

Voltage smells as if you crushed up a bunch of blue raspberry SweeTarts and mixed it with the appropriate ratio of water.  Needless to say I’m not impressed.  I will say that the lightning bolt on the side of the bottle keeps catching my eye though.  So much power.  So much responsibility.  Let’s see if this will live up to its responsibility like Spiderman or fail miserably like Spiderman 3.

Rushed Venom, Emo-Peter Parker, and Kirsten Dunst as Mary Jane… that’s what ran through my head as I finished taking that sip.  So much disappointment.  Voltage hit’s your mouth with a small shock of carbonation leading up to a taste that can only be described as chemical.  I’m sure there are other descriptive terms I could have used but I had to say there wasn’t for dramatic effect.  The blue raspberry fights with the ginseng on who will be the most prominent flavor while Citrus sits in the corner shouting.  Ultimately my mouth declares them all losers and tries to drink its problems away only finding that the nearest drink is more Voltage.  Such a vicious cycle.  This is the first Mtn Dew beverage that tastes like a mediocre to bad energy drink.  I like original Mtn Dew (although Sun Drop is better), I like Code Red, and I like Pitch Black, but this is not worth finishing.  The only reason I’m not going to rate this Do Not Buy is because I could actually finish it if I wanted to.  WHY DID I JUST TAKE ANOTHER SIP?!  WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!

~A

Oddly enough if Twist puts his tongue to it, the bottle will be shocked.

Big K Pineapple Passionfruit Soda

I just cleaned up dog vomit so by comparison this soda may get a more amazing rating than it deserves, but who knows it may knock my socks off!  The soda I’ve now mentioned in the same breath as dog vomit is Big K’s Pineapple Passionfruit Soda, another gift from the Santa-esque D. Dub.  Santa gives you things you ask for, whereas D. Dub gives you stuff he thinks you won’t like.  He’s the anti-claus really.  Anywho, this is a chemical filled beverage with a light peach color and a label like you would only expect on a 2 liter bottle of Big K.  To this day I have no idea what a passionfruit is, but I can guess that it’s pretty tasty.  How could it not be tasty when it’s called PASSIONfruit.  The software I’m typing this on really doesn’t like the fact that I keep writing it “Passionfruit” instead of “Passion Fruit”, but I’m only doing so because that’s how it’s written on the jug.  Enough chit chat… let’s do this thang!

Upon huffing said beverage I notice little to no pineapple scent escaping the opening of my Missile Command pint glass.  I’m guessing the scent I’m experiencing is that of the ever quirky Passionfruit, but that’s just a hopeful guess.  Honestly it smells a little “peachy” to me, but that might have everything to do with the color of the beverage.  On to the tasting!

Very nice for a chemical filled soda.  The carbonation visits you throughout the sip, never being the most powerful ingredient until the end.  Again, I’m not tasting a lot of pineapple here but it’s not completely absent.  It’s almost as if right as Pineapple got his pinkie toe in the bottle Peach walked up to him and made fun of his complexion.  Pineapple, now distraught, decided to give up on ever being a part of Big K Pineapple Passionfruit Soda and fell into a deep depression.  Fortunately for him the fine makers of the Dole Whip asked him to be their featured performer and he has been succeeding like gang-busters ever since.  It’s pretty much the exact same thing that happened to Jennifer Hudson.  Meanwhile back in the soda… there is also a bit of a plum flavor present as well.  I notice the plum becoming more involved during the final act of this performance, also known as the aftertaste.  Ok so maybe I don’t know what a passionfruit tastes like but I do know that this tastes like Peach Punch.  Not quite peach, not quite punch, add some carbonation and other flavors and there you have it… Peach Punch!  Quickly!  To the patent board! 

~A

Faux Fact:  The "glass pineapple" seen in this picture is the actual type of pineapple used in this soda.

Retro 7Up

How happy I was when I saw that I could finally enjoy a 7up made with sugar.  You see 7Up was my mother’s healing elixir of choice and I’m pretty sure that you could cure the world’s ails if you just gave everyone enough 7Up and Premium saltine crackers.  If this belief is what my love of 7up hinges on… I honestly don’t know.  I do know that it’s the best tasting mainstream lemon lime brand out there.  Sprite has too “smacky” an aftertaste and Sierra Mist is almost void of any good flavor.  7up sits there in the happy middle ready to quench my thirst and balance my humors.  This Retro 7Up comes in a fantastically 70’s style bottle and begs for me to try it.  I’m so very happy I didn’t get one of the gaudy cans this beverage also comes in as I’m pretty sure half of my experience would be ruined.  Sniff test!

This should be short.  Guess what?  It smells like 7Up!  For those of you who’ve never had 7up and are old enough to read… here goes.  The light scent of lemon and lime caress my inner nostril, dancing upon my nose as if you tease the connected throat of its existence.  Voila!  Time to drink!

This is exactly what I expected it to be which is good.  I can’t imagine if I tried this Retro 7Up and it tasted like Marshmallow Fluff thus destroying both my perception of 7Up and my mind in general.  No, this tastes like a refreshing 7Up with the added perk that its taste is crisper than a normal 7Up.  There’s not a doubt in my mind that this is due to the fact this is sweetened with sugar instead of Mean Ol’ Mister High Fructose Corn Syrup.  Faux Fact:  That’s the original name of it I promise!  MOMHFCS never caught on so they shortened it to HFCS.  The drink experience itself goes down something like this.  Once this beverage hits your tongue your taste buds are immediately shown that you are drinking a citrus soda.  Just sitting on top of your ‘buds (slang for taste buds, ya like that?) Retro 7Up sizzles and bubbles awaiting the next stage of ingestion. I don’t have a regular 7Up to compare this too but Retro 7Up seems to have lighter bubbles causing a miniscule shock as it races around your mouth, something regular 7Up didn’t have.   As you move the 7Up around your mouth you’re greeted with more fizzing carbonation and the familiar taste of both lemon and lime.  The aftertaste is where things get a little hairy.  You see all is going well in the land of 7Up until I reach the aftertaste.  Let me preface all that I’m about to say (probably three whole sentences) with that I do not dislike this aftertaste… there’s just something a bit off-putting with it.  Regular 7Up with its MOMHFCS… sorry HFCS… sticks to your mouth since it’s a bit more syrupy.  On the other hand Retro 7Up ends like the movie Magnolia… unexpected.  It has a bit of a chemical feel there at the end almost tasting diet.  I’m not quite sure why this is but it’s a disappointing end to what should have been a solid ride.  I just got on the roller coaster of my dreams and it took off thrilling me.  My hat has flown off my head and I’m laughing with my best gal by my side.  Suddenly I’m stabbed in the face with the tiniest of daggers… and then another… and again.  It’s raining!  Thousands of drops of needle rain hit my laughing face contorting it with pain.  Finally the experience ends and I’m not sure whether to cheer or sigh.  That’s Retro 7Up… except I’m sure of which to do.  Sigh.

~A

but it looks so cooooooooool!

MTN Dew Pitch Black

   So apparently being a soda reviewer I’m supposed to review this limited edition Mountain Dew Pitch Black.  As I understand this beverage has quite the following and it seems that it’s high time that I jump on the bandwagon.  Back in 2005 I tried to jump on the pseudo-bandwagon when Pitch Black 2 came out.  I feigned all of the excitement one might have seen since I never got the chance to try the original.  Pitch Black 2 was alright but nothing cult worthy to me so I figured that the original must have been heads and tails above its sequel.  If only I had some sort of way I could travel back to 2004 and give the original a try.  Well looky here!  Thanks to Mountain Dew… or should I say Mtn Dew (I will never say “Mtn Dew” again in this review because it’s asinine) I can now experience what I originally missed all without the help of a Delorian… which of course is points against.  The label is a very extreme purple matching the color of the beverage itself.  I really wish I had a black light to see if this bottle could truly be fantastical.  Ah well, time for a whiff.

   Ok… so that’s not quite what I was expecting.  The scent I was greeted with was that of citrus and grape… heavy on the grape fortunately.  Based on scent alone this is Mountain Dew with grape flavoring, oddly enough the label clearly states that this is Pitch Black with a BLAST of BLACK GRAPE.  I figured this was Mountain Dew with a blast of black grape but what do I know.  I’m kind of curious what Pitch Black would taste like without its blast of black grape but we’re not here for that today.   What we’re here for is transporting me back to 2004 so that I may experience the apparent amazement that is Mountain Dew Pitch Black… and so we shall.

   Interesting.  This isn’t nearly as EXTREME as I thought it would be but I find that’s working out for the experience thus far.  Instantly I can rank this as a Top 2 Dew for me.  I’m not sure what would come first but this and Code Red are now neck and neck.  Upon the first sip your tongue is immediately met with the knives of a thousand citrus flavored carbonation bubbles.  After the bubbles lay down their arms the grape, apparently black grape, flavor shows itself.  It doesn’t show in an extreme way like your uncle (it’s always a creepy uncle isn’t it?) at the last family gathering though.  Instead, Mountain Dew Pitch Black raises its hand, gets called upon, and casually states that “Yes I’m a Mountain Dew with grape flavoring”.  I realize that Mountain Dew tries to cater to an extreme/gamer/youthful audience but their flavors don’t bring that out in me.  Maybe…maybe I’m old now and just “don’t get it” anymore.  Ah well, if I “don’t get” Mountain Dew’s marketing I’m probably over thinking it.  Why did I go off on that mini-tangent?  Must be time for my old people pills.  Back to the beverage at hand. 

   I’m finding myself really enjoying Pitch Black and wish that I’d been on this train when my love of Mountain Dew was at its peak.  Like I said earlier it’s up there with Code Red in my opinion and I used to be a fiend for Code Red.  One of the strengths of the Mountain Dew brand is that they aren’t afraid to try and create Frankensteinesque sodas that combine the already popular Dew flavor with that of grape, orange, white stuff, etc.  This of course results in the occasional monstrosity but gives people even more reason to buy Dew products.  Pitch Black is good.  I’m good with this.  Of course it’s full of chemicals and that will hurt the score a bit but I can tell you that I’ll be looking for Mountain Dew Pitch Black again next year.  Now… who do I talk to about Surge, Crystal Pepsi, and the original Sprite Re-mix?

~A

Twist, of course, is the only one extreme enough to be that close to the label.

Sun Drop

   I saw Sun Drop a few months back in my local grocery store and thought that it was some old timey soda that had now finally made it to Texas.  Turns out I was right!  Sun Drop or Sundrop, has been around in some from since the 1930’s but thanks to the Dr. Pepper/Snapple company now has seen a nationwide release as of this year.  I must say they are promoting the heck out of it too.  I’ve seen it sponsored on boxers (fighters not underwear), billboards, and big trucks… just to name a few of the “B” ones.  Figuring that I might as well try this “new” beverage I purchased a pack guessing that I knew what I was getting into.  It’s in a fun green can and it’s labeled as a citrus soda.   This is the Dr. Pepper version of Mountain Dew… AMIRIGHT?  Sadly this means it also uses HFCS and other chemicals to flavor… wait… this has orange juice in the ingredients.  To quote the 9th Doctor, “Fantastic!”  Ok, so maybe it could be a bit different than the Dew.  Enough of the pleasantries.

   Sun Drop smells a lot like Mountain Dew but has a bit more of a citrus bite to its aroma.  While it’s a generically citrus smell my nostrils are still able to pick out hints of lemon and lime.  Like I said before, this is Dr. Pepper’s version of Mountain Dew… CANIGETAWITNESS?

   Upon drinking it my tongue is touched by a bevy of citrus flavors.  I can pick out the lemon and lime I whiffed earlier and most impressively I can also taste the orange juice that is listed on the side of the can.  None of these are dominant flavors mind you but if you take the time to try and sort it out in your mouth you can identify them all.  This is a little bit sweeter to me than Mountain Dew and a little less harsh on the throat.  Obviously Mountain Dew is not as caustic as Coke or Pepsi but it does have room to be muted a bit.  Personally I like the taste of Sun Drop more than Mountain Dew to the point where if I’m given the choice I’d pick Sun Drop every time if it was made with sugar.  As it currently stands I’ll only pick Sun Drop every time over regular Dew… throwback still gets my vote.  You get almost the same flavor that you would with Dew except for a few subtle improvements like the slight orange flavoring, the smoother mouth feel, and (in my opinion) the not INYOURFACE marketing.  Sun Drop to me embodies a sit on the porch after a sweltering hot day watching the sun set kind of drink.  The drink feels much more laid-back than its competition and in such makes me enjoy it that much more.  With all that said I think Dr. Pepper/Snapple picked a winner in Sun Drop and in doing so have the strongest lineup of soda out of the big three.  Obviously Coke and Pepsi are going to make more money at the end of the year but give me Dr. Pepper/RC Cola/7up/Sun Drop over the Red and Blue equivalents any day.

~A

Which one is the can and which one is the iguana?!  The world may never know.

Crush Lime

   I’m sleepy so let’s get this over with.  Aaron like lime soda, blah, blah, blah.  There aren’t many lime sodas on the market, yada, yada, yada.  Hopefully Crush Lime is delicious, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice.  What I obviously have in front of me is a can of Crush Lime.  This was given to us by Dan Dub who I believe hated it.  Mike has since tried it and apparently loves the stuff.  I’ve been over thinking the order of drinks to review in my fridge and in a tired stupor picked this one out because it’d be the easiest to photograph (I could either photograph and then review it, or I could review it and then photograph).  Any who, this is a can of lime flavored soda which is made by Crush.  I like Crush Orange so I might as well give this one a shot as well.  Time to crack’er open. 

   Smells D-Lishus!  The first thing I thought of when I opened the can was candy.  This could very well be liquid lime candy.  I suppose most soda is liquid candy when you think about it but I don’t really want to think about it at the time.  I just want to drink this, so I shall.

   Well the initial taste is much weaker than I thought it would be.  The smell psyches you out, making you think you’re going to enjoy liquid lime candy when in fact you’re just drinking an average lime soda.  There isn’t a whole lot of fizz to Crush Lime, or Lime Crush as I’m sure everyone else in the world calls it.  I have no qualms with there being little fizz to this drink.  If it were any fizzier then the already muted lime flavoring would be stuffed even further back onto the bookshelf much like Garfield Tips the Scales: His Eighth Book.  The cat has like 50 something books and if you planned on collecting them as a kid you probably gave up around book 30 like I did.  To this day I’ll be going through my bookshelf and randomly find a Garfield book stuffed amongst my other bizarre reading material.  I found a Hi-lights magazine in there from 1987.  Guess what?  Goofus is still not ready for “big boy” scissors and Gallant will end up housing over 60 cats by the age of 42… most of them imaginary.  You know why I ranted just then?  I’ll tell you, because Crush Lime is boring.  This is a generic flavored lime beverage with no life to it.  This is something that you’d find when you need to scavenge for food right before a hurricane hits.  “I can’t believe I didn’t do this earlier.  Why isn’t there any bottled water left?!  Beef Jerky?  Yeah that’s a meat, we can eat that.  A gallon of sweet tea… sure the kids like sweet tea.  Generic lemon cookies?  Those go great with sweet tea!  What’s this?  Lime Crush?  I didn’t even know they made… ah heck I might as well grab it.”  You take it home and guzzle it down with your beef jerky and generic lemon cookies.  Never once do you think that it’s great or that it’s horrible.  You just drink it because it’s there.  If you like lime but don’t have access to Jarritos Lime or Stewarts Key Lime Soda, then I guess this would be ok.  Just know that you’re missing out on the superior product.

~A

Twist was oddly attracted to this can.

Mug Root Beer

   Well true to our word we really will review any soda if given to us for free by our fans.  Today’s review is Mug Root Beer, given to us by one Double R.  I really think that he meant for this review to be difficult.  Anyone can review an odd drink, pointing out what makes it unique… but a mainstream root beer that most everyone has tasted could be much more difficult.  Mug of course is one of the three big name root beer brands out there, the other two being Barq’s, and of course A&W.  I have a co-worker that refers to Mug as “the working man’s root beer”, or the “blue collar” root beer.  I really enjoy thinking of it that way, and the bulldog on the front of the can offering me a frosty glass of root beer seems to give off the feel of a “blue collar” kind of guy.  Speaking of the can art, it looks as if I’m picking up a frosty mug overflowing with suds.  Nice touch Pepsi… I mean Mug.  Enough with the chatter, let’s crack it open.

   I’m realizing now that I’ve never truly smelled Mug Root Beer… and upon doing so I realize that its root beer smell really isn’t that strong.  I kind of thought all the chemicals inside of it would have increased the aroma, but I’ve been wrong before… ONE TIME.  Time for some drinkin’.

   To be honest with you, and I always am, I haven’t had a Mug Root Beer in a while.  This tastes much more watery than I remember.  Mug doesn’t have the “bite” of Barq’s, or the creamy taste of A&W.  In fact it has a muted, less impressive version of the characteristics that make the other two root beers loved by so many.  A positive attribute of Mug how clean the taste is for a mainstream root beer.  There are definitely cleaner tasting root beers out there, but this one does pretty well compared to its A&W Rival.  As you might expect this is a very safe drink.  By safe I mean that you pretty much know what it’s going to taste like when you pick up a can for the first time.  It’s going to taste like boring root beer.  Now I recognize that I’ve probably become a root beer snob over the past two years, and I’m sure that’s affecting this review.  If you love Mug Root Beer and don’t understand why I’m not rating it higher, go out and try some Virgil’s, Boylan’s, or Bundaberg Root Beer and tell me they aren’t heads, tails, slugs, and snails better than Mug.  Until then I’m sticking with this…

~A

Faux Fact: Twist was the original mascot for Mug, but he asked for too much money

Dr. Pepper Cherry

   Being from Texas, I love Dr. Pepper (Especially Dublin Dr. Pepper).  Dr. Pepper is a staple soda here in the Lone  Star State, as it was invented here.  I also like cherry flavoring in soda, so normally you’d think that Dr. Pepper Cherry would be something I’d be all over.  Let me tell you in four words why I’m skeptical:  Dr. Pepper Red Fusion.  Red Fusion came out in 2002 and lasted a whole 2 years.  They never came out and said what flavored Red Fusion, but I always assumed it had a cherry base.  Sadly though, Red Fusion tasted like flat Dr. Pepper.  So excuse me if I don’t get all excited when I try this Dr. Pepper Cherry.  I will tell you one positive thing right off the bat about it though… I got this for free!  Thanks to reader D.W. (Not the caped crusader that graced The Disney Afternoon toon block) but a cool guy nonetheless. 

   Looking at this can, I can’t avoid thinking that Dr. Pepper is trying to seduce me.  It’s a black can, which isn’t something that’s very common right now (I can only think of Coke Zero off the top of my head).  At the top of the can in lowercase is the phrase “amazingly smooth”.  I seriously doubt that I’m going to be amazed at how smooth this tastes, but let’s give it a shot.  Oh before I continue, you know this is full of chemicals right?  I didn’t bother going into the ingredients list because they would just depress you.

    The aroma wafting (ok maybe wafting is a bit strong) out of the can smells just like Dr. Pepper… with a tiny, tiny amount of cherry in it.  Time for drinkin’.  The first sip I take puts one thought into my mind… normal Dr. Pepper is better than this.  I will never favor this over Dr. Pepper.  Ok, that was technically two thoughts, but let’s continue anyway.  While somewhat smooth it’s not “amazingly smooth”, but no one here is surprised by that.  Actually, when it first hits your tongue you get a nice bubbly sensation.  To put it somewhat bluntly it tastes like a slightly weaker Dr. Pepper with a little bit of a cherry taste to it.  I will say that this tastes better than Red Fusion did though.  I’ve harped on this drink more than it deserves, but I’m disappointed.  In my opinion you could make this a lot better by ramping up the cherry flavoring, and using sugar instead of high fructose corn syrup.  I don’t say that because I prefer sugar, (I do prefer sugar, but I didn’t say that because I did… stay with me here.) but because sugar adds a crispness to soda that HFCS does not.  All in all, this is about what I expected… which saddens me.

As you can see by his expression, Twist was not seduced.

MTN Dew Live Wire

   We always like it around here at the Soda Jerk labs when someone gives us a drink to try for free. This week's installment is somewhat mainstream. From the Mountain Dew line, I have been given Live Wire. This will be the first 20 oz. plastic bottle I've reviewed, so I guess there is some history here. The packaging used is your basic Mountain Dew style; although, I do notice that it isn't "MTN DEW" but "Mountain Dew," so apparently they don't care as much about relabeling their other flavors. By the way, under the words "Live Wire" is the statement, "DEW sparked with orange." I don't know how you wouldn't guess this, given the bright orange color of the drink. I can't, off the top of my head, think of another flavor of drink when the color is orange.

    Anywho, here goes the test. It's a pretty sharp initial taste, with a slight burn. That is quickly dissolved by a candy-esque flavor that finishes off the experience. It's like a sweeter Sunkist Orange soda taste, which to me is the superior drink. There is hardly any, if any, original mountain dew flavor to be had. It's not a great drink, but it's not a horrible drink... in my opinion it's pretty average. I guess this should be a given, seeing that it's a branch of a mainstream drink line. While Code Red and Original Mountain Dew would be my top choices in this drink line, if someone offered me this, I wouldn't refuse them.

~A