Retro 7Up

How happy I was when I saw that I could finally enjoy a 7up made with sugar.  You see 7Up was my mother’s healing elixir of choice and I’m pretty sure that you could cure the world’s ails if you just gave everyone enough 7Up and Premium saltine crackers.  If this belief is what my love of 7up hinges on… I honestly don’t know.  I do know that it’s the best tasting mainstream lemon lime brand out there.  Sprite has too “smacky” an aftertaste and Sierra Mist is almost void of any good flavor.  7up sits there in the happy middle ready to quench my thirst and balance my humors.  This Retro 7Up comes in a fantastically 70’s style bottle and begs for me to try it.  I’m so very happy I didn’t get one of the gaudy cans this beverage also comes in as I’m pretty sure half of my experience would be ruined.  Sniff test!

This should be short.  Guess what?  It smells like 7Up!  For those of you who’ve never had 7up and are old enough to read… here goes.  The light scent of lemon and lime caress my inner nostril, dancing upon my nose as if you tease the connected throat of its existence.  Voila!  Time to drink!

This is exactly what I expected it to be which is good.  I can’t imagine if I tried this Retro 7Up and it tasted like Marshmallow Fluff thus destroying both my perception of 7Up and my mind in general.  No, this tastes like a refreshing 7Up with the added perk that its taste is crisper than a normal 7Up.  There’s not a doubt in my mind that this is due to the fact this is sweetened with sugar instead of Mean Ol’ Mister High Fructose Corn Syrup.  Faux Fact:  That’s the original name of it I promise!  MOMHFCS never caught on so they shortened it to HFCS.  The drink experience itself goes down something like this.  Once this beverage hits your tongue your taste buds are immediately shown that you are drinking a citrus soda.  Just sitting on top of your ‘buds (slang for taste buds, ya like that?) Retro 7Up sizzles and bubbles awaiting the next stage of ingestion. I don’t have a regular 7Up to compare this too but Retro 7Up seems to have lighter bubbles causing a miniscule shock as it races around your mouth, something regular 7Up didn’t have.   As you move the 7Up around your mouth you’re greeted with more fizzing carbonation and the familiar taste of both lemon and lime.  The aftertaste is where things get a little hairy.  You see all is going well in the land of 7Up until I reach the aftertaste.  Let me preface all that I’m about to say (probably three whole sentences) with that I do not dislike this aftertaste… there’s just something a bit off-putting with it.  Regular 7Up with its MOMHFCS… sorry HFCS… sticks to your mouth since it’s a bit more syrupy.  On the other hand Retro 7Up ends like the movie Magnolia… unexpected.  It has a bit of a chemical feel there at the end almost tasting diet.  I’m not quite sure why this is but it’s a disappointing end to what should have been a solid ride.  I just got on the roller coaster of my dreams and it took off thrilling me.  My hat has flown off my head and I’m laughing with my best gal by my side.  Suddenly I’m stabbed in the face with the tiniest of daggers… and then another… and again.  It’s raining!  Thousands of drops of needle rain hit my laughing face contorting it with pain.  Finally the experience ends and I’m not sure whether to cheer or sigh.  That’s Retro 7Up… except I’m sure of which to do.  Sigh.

~A

but it looks so cooooooooool!