Topo Sabores Apple

Who doesn’t love apple soda… well besides Johnny Appleseed of course?  I always figured being around all those apples would eventually make him sick of them.  Sure he helped shape America with all he did involving apples, but I bet he only ate them to keep up his image.  Fortunately Johnny “Appleseed” Chapman isn’t here to review this Topo Sabores Apple soda.  Also fortunately… is not a proper way to start a sentence but… also fortunately I am here to review this bottle of Topo Sabores Apple Soda.  As you might be able to tell by the name, Topo Sabores hails from Mexico and uses delicious cane sugar as a sweetener as well as HFCS just to confuse us.  We’ve done a few of their drinks before so I’ll just add a link here… and maybe here.  Let’s all read about me smelling this soda now. Pop Pop!

The scent coming out of the neck of this bottle is definitely that of an apple, but I will say that it’s also a bit more subtle than I expected.  At first it smells like apple juice only to have the scent change to sweet soda at the last second, almost fooling you into thinking it was healthy.  Drink time.

Very nice.  Very nice indeed.  This apple soda even tastes a bit like apple juice even though the bottle lists no such ingredient.  With each sip I’m greeted with a touch of spice, much like you would experience in eggnog.  Before my mind gets a chance to think too hard on eggnog soda the spice quickly dissipates into a mildly carbonated apple juice flavored soda.  The aftertaste reminds me of a red apple/green apple hybrid.  It is sweet and tart at the same time and lasts considerably longer than any of the other tastes you’ll experience.  As much as I like Topo Sabores Apple Soda it doesn’t actually “wow” me.  This is an above average soda, and I will suggest you buy multiples, but it’s lacking a special something that would set it apart from being slightly above average.

~A

One day Twist will be on a bottle of soda.

Fever-Tree Ginger Ale

I went on a search for some new soda to review, as I’m very low at the moment, and went into what I thought would be a goldmine of sodas.  Sadly this was no goldmine, but it did have one nugget to give me to make sure I didn’t leave empty handed.  Fever-Tree Ginger Ale is the subject of today’s review… and oddly enough it is gold from head to toe.  Fever-Tree Ginger Ale is bottled in such a way you’d expect to find this in a mini-bar in a very nice hotel room.  It’s a full 6.8 oz. of light gold liquid so it has the ‘hip tiny bottle factor’ going for it as well.  I must also say that I enjoy the simple gold bottle cap with the "Fever-Tree" printed on it.  The ingredients in Fever-Tree Ginger Ale are as follows, Spring Water, Cane Sugar, Citric Acid, Natural Gingers, Natural Flavours, and Natural Caramel.  That’s a fairly simple recipe for ginger ale… let’s see if it works for them.

Silly me, I just tried to twist the cap off and found myself in need of a bottle opener.  How could I have forgotten that I’m dealing with Fever-Tree… la ti da!  Immediately upon opening I get the very recognizable scent of ginger entering my nostrils.  The aroma was so strong that I’d almost think I was about to drink a ginger beer instead of the much tamer ginger ale.  Well I guess there’s only one way to find out.

As the ingredients would have me expect, this is a very pleasant soda.  It has the initial mouth feel of a ginger beer but quickly slows down to the speed of the much calmer ale.  Pretend you’re driving a DeLorean, just cruisin’ the streets.  You pull up next to some guy riding a bicycle and act as if you’re going to drag race him.  Revving the engines a couple of times you make your intentions all the more clear.  When the light turns green you gun it, racing off for about 25 feet before you turn to the guy on the bike and laugh, then slowing down to the posted speed still enjoying the fact that you drive a DeLorean.  That’s what my first impressions of Fever-Tree Ginger Ale are, and I don’t really care if the analogy makes any sense.  I like this initial burn.  It scared me for a split second when I thought my throat was going to be toasted by the end of this review, but it’s good to be scared every now and again.  The overall flavor is fairly clean, but there’s always a reminder that you’re dealing with real deal ginger.  This isn’t really something you’d drink on a hot day, although I’m not sure there’s a ginger ale that fits that particular bill.  

While I do enjoy several aspects about this Fever-Tree Ginger Ale I do have some complaints.  First off is once you get past the burn you’re greeted with a reliable ginger taste but it doesn’t hold up for very long and becomes a bit watery.  Second the ingredients are kind of vague.  It says that there are natural gingers in the bottle but I can’t seem to find the actual measurement.  Maybe Reed’s has spoiled me in the ginger department, but if you want to be the best ginger ale then Reed’s is a name you’re going to have to trump.  By the way, I’m re-reading my review of Reed’s Original Ginger Brew to refresh my mind of how I felt about it and I noticed something odd.  That review was written about a year ago but I referenced DeLoreans in it as well.  Maybe there’s something about good ginger ale that makes me think of Back to the Future… or maybe I’m just a nerd.

~A

Twist was born in a Fever-Tree.

Deerfield Vanilla Cream Soda

Walgreen’s is capable of making great soda!  Yes it’s true, folks.  Now that the initial shock of that statement has hopefully worn off, and you’ve read the reviews I linked proving such a statement, let’s move on.  Today’s review is of Deerfield Vanilla Cream Soda brought to us by one Dan Dub.  Dan actually brought us a bottle of this a year or so ago but it got lost in the wibbly wobbly timey wimey.  So I made my way to the local Walgreens and picked up a bottle for myself.  For those who didn’t read the linked reviews let me tell you that Deerfield sodas are sweetened with sugar and not HFCS.  Nuff said?  Yes, nuff said.

Oooh.  The scent off the top is like amazing butterscotch.  As mentioned before butterscotch is a love of mine and this wafting scent is going to cut short its own description.

While not as amazingly butterscotchy as I thought it could be there are definite tones of it.  The scent portrayed an amazing level of butterscotch while the consumption gives you about half that.  Deerfield Vanilla Cream Soda starts off smooth, but then its mouth feel falls short.  About halfway through the drink experience the smooth just cuts off.  It’s like that feeling when you just got through with the main part of a roller coaster and you’re taxiing back to the load/unload part.  There you are laughing, having a good time, remembering what you just experienced and BAM the roller coaster stops abruptly waiting for the next coaster in line to be loaded.  Your harness is now digging into all the wrong regions, and for that brief moment you don’t even remember having a great time on the ride… just how uncomfortable you are.  That’s how my time with Deerfield Vanilla Cream Soda is going.  Obviously it’s not uncomfortable but the experience feels incomplete.  During the first, more enjoyable, half of this beverage it compares to A&W Cream Soda in its smooth factor… actually surpassing it.  The carbonation is quite subtle allowing for such creaminess to exist.  When that comes to a grinding halt you’re left with what tastes like the aftertaste to an inferior product.  “Well of course it’s like an aftertaste… that’s what comes after the taste right?”  Yes, Timmy… the after taste comes after the taste, but not when there is still soda in your mouth.  Even though Deerfield Vanilla Cream Soda uses sugar I can’t excuse it’s lack of a second act.  With that said know that its rating could have been higher.

~A

It's impossible for Twist to only do things half way.

Thomas Kemper Black Cherry

Not too long ago my mother and step-father gave me a bottle of Thomas Kemper Black Cherry Soda.  Apparently they bought it from a nifty little shop in Rockwall, TX (near Dallas) called The Candy Jar Malt Shop which I have now conveniently linked.  We all know Thomas Kemper makes great stuff... well if you read the site for any amount of time you know that.  If you didn’t know that then you should probably read more of the site and tell all of your friends to do the same.  Your friends will then tell all of their friends and eventually we’ll become the only multi-billion dollar soda review site in the world.  To make a non-existent story short I’m happy I’m about to review a Thomas Kemper product!  I’m thirsty so I think I’m just going to go to the review portion now.

Thomas Kemper Black Cherry does indeed smell like black cherry soda… flavored cough syrup.  While cough syrups sometimes have a wonderful taste I’m still a bit worried about the story my ol’ nose just told.  Drinky drink time!

Cough syrup this is not.  Thomas Kemper Black Cherry soda has a robust flavor all the way through your drinking experience.  The initial taste is crisp and hits your tongue screaming “BLACK CHERRY!” at the top of its imaginary lungs.  After the initial crisp hit of black cherry the flavor doesn’t even back down for a second.  For the entirety of its duration in your mouth you are made very aware of the fact that you are consuming a black cherry soda.  The flavor could be more powerful, but it would honestly be too much for most people to enjoy if it was.  So far the only downside I’ve noticed is that the aftertaste is a little syrupy but I’m sure that has to do with their use of honey.  The carbonation is fairly high but once again works very well with the whole experience.  I’ve now finished my bottle before finishing my review… that’s both a good sign and something that rarely ever happens.  Overall, Thomas Kemper Black Cherry is a very fizzy black cherry soda with the slightest taste of honey.  You should be able to open a bottle of black cherry soda and pretty much predict what you’re about to taste.  Thomas Kemper Black Cherry doesn’t disappoint in the slightest putting IBC Black Cherry now at 2nd place on my black cherry soda list.

~A

Twist can make black cherries appear at will.

Kickapoo Joy Juice

Another beverage given to me by the MMAgician and hailing from Singapore is Kickapoo Joy Juice.  Judging by the green and yellow coloration of the can I’m going to assume this is similar to a Mountain Dew (or MTN DEW) product.  Now on the can and this where it gets weird, are two characters from the now defunct comic strip Li’l Abner.  Character number one is “Lonesome Polecat”.  Lonesome Polecat is drawn how you would think a Native American would be drawn back when Li’l Abner was a comic strip.  That would be from 1934-1977 for reference.  The second character in charge of making this Kickapoo Joy Juice is “Hairless Joe”.  Hairless Joe is a caveman that lives in modern times.  He’s got a giant club, a leopard skin outfit, and even though his name suggests it he is most certainly not hairless.  Now that you know the cast of characters let me tell you what they’re doing on this logo.  Lonesome Polecat and Hairless Joe seem to be sitting in a tub of Kickapoo Joy Juice that has created an explosion so large (a mushroom cloud is visible) that they have rocketed themselves out of Earth’s orbit.  Underneath said picture read the words “Original USA Joy Juice Recipe”.  So at least we know we’re getting the real deal here.  The ingredients are as follows, Carbonated Water, Sucrose, Citric Acid, Sodium Citrate, Stabilizers (what?), Flavouring, Preservative, Colour E102, and Caffeine.  With all that said, let’s try out some of Lonesome Polecat and Hairless Joe’s mixture… which according to the Li’l Aber Wiki page is made in a cave.

As I assumed this is certainly a Mountain Dew-esque beverage, or at least the smell would have me believe that.  If I had to pick a scent which stands out over the other citrus aromas that are escaping the can I’d go with lemon.  Time to hopefully enjoy my 10.9 fluid ounces of Kickapoo Joy Juice!

The top of this can reads “Get That Kick!” and I certainly would have loved to have “Gotten it” but it’s not in the cards for Kickapoo Joy Juice.  Kickapoo Joy Juice, which I enjoy typing out, tastes like a diluted Mountain Dew.  If it were just a diluted Mountain Dew I could probably sign off on it fairly easily but there’s more.  With every drink there’s another flavor, sorry, flavour that sits on your tongue like a fat cat sits on a warm windowsill.  While this flavour isn’t horrible it is unmoving and very noticeable to me.  The rest of your mouth becomes a moderately fun party with each sip and your tongue is the grouchy neighbor downstairs who keeps ruining it through various means… and begin scene using characters from Zelda.

Link - “Hey guys!  Ummmm, no one could really make it to the party today, so I’m glad you came.  Want to drag out the old pop-o-matic bubble for a rousing game of Trouble?”

**knock knock knock** 

“Oh hi officer, what can I do for you?” 

Officer Armos - “We got a call from the Old Man downstairs saying that you were making far too much noise up here.”

Link – “But we were just about to play a bo….”

Officer Armos – “I don’t really care; just keep it down would you?”

Link – “Ok, sorry [closes door].  So where were we?

Zelda – “Actually Link I think Ganon and I are gonna head out.

Link – “…but he’s going to kidna… nevermind.  Just make sure he doesn’t get all feely with your triforce.”

Aaaand scene!  Ok, that example that went on for too long was more enjoyable than the flavor that is still sitting on my tongue.  I guess the best way to describe Kickapoo Joy Juice is this.  Kickapoo Joy Juice is a soda.  It’s nothing special in the slightest but still consumable.

~A

Twist actually starred in Li'l Abner between the years 1943-1945.

F&N Sarsi

“The Original Sarsi”.  That’s what I have in front of me today.  Technically it’s F&N Sarsi but I honestly don’t know if that makes a difference.  You see this can of Sarsi is from Singapore, brought to me by the MMAgician.  F&N Sarsi is manufactured and distributed by Coca-Cola Singapore Beverages Pte. Ltd.  I’m guessing it’s a fairy mainstream drink over there.  Maybe I’ll do a little more digging on Sarsi.  If you find these next few sentences <surrounded by alligators> informative at all that means I did in fact do some digging. <Sarsi, it’s just so fun to type, is a sarsaparilla based beverage sold in South East Asia.  Ok, we’re making some sense here… Sarsi/Sarsparilla… I see what they did there.  Fun fact!  According to Wikipedia, Sarsi was the subject of a 1985 film called It’s a Drink, It’s a Bomb, where a grenade was disguised as a can of Sarsi.> Sarsi seems to have a pretty short ingredient list.  Let’s read shall we?  Carbonated Water, Sugar, Flavourings, Caramel, Citric Acid and Preservative.  They seem to hide stuff a little better over in Singapore.  I know not if the “Flavourings” are naturally or chemically spawned.  I also don’t know what the “Preservative” is.  It could be formaldehyde or Sodium Benzoate.  Fingers crossed for formaldehyde!  Seeing as I don’t know what Sarsi should even begin to taste like (since I haven’t looked it up yet as of typing this) I’m interested to open up this stumpy maroon can.

One.   That was the most difficult opening of a can I’ve ever been a part of.  Two.  This smells like dreams.  Sarsi smells of root beer, Dr. Pepper, and peppermint, COMBINED!  While intrigued even more I’m now experiencing a bit of fear as well.  Ah well, who else can say that they’re drinking a Singapore soda today?  NOT YOU!  Unless of course you’re reading this in Singapore… in that case thanks for the readership you handsome/beautiful devil you.

Whoa… that tastes nothing like Dr. Pepper or peppermint.  Sarsi tastes of carbonated black licorice with a hint of root beer.  Mike (remember Mike?) says that birch beer tastes of licorice, while I thought it tasted so similarly to root beer that they wasted time re-naming it birch beer.  There were fights abound on the subject, one eventually coming to fisticuffs.  Sarsi on the other hand tastes like they soaked a handful of black licorice jellybeans in a diluted root beer concoction.  If you remember from the research above you will understand that half of my review isn’t that far off.  Sarsi is a sarsaparilla based soda so that explains the root beer.  I guess one of the “flavourings” could be licorice but we’ll never know.  Thanks Coke!  Thoke!  Sarsi’s carbonation to flavour ratio works very well for itself, but carbonation sits on the back burner when you have such an interesting flavour as we do here.  With that said Sarsi is in fact very different from anything I’ve tried up to this point.  While my joy of drinking it has increased throughout this review, I just can’t see myself purchasing a pack of Sarsi.  Therefore.

~A

Twist's blood is actually Sarsi, but not the kind you find in stores... the life granting kind.

Maine Root Lemon Lime

Ok, I may discredit myself as a soda review by saying this but… lemon lime soda is boring.  Wait, wait, wait!  Don’t leave just yet; let me explain.  A good lime soda isn’t boring, in fact it’s one of my most coveted sodas.  A good lemon soda… well I haven’t really had one to write home about yet, but it’d be unique.  Lemon Lime soda though… well in my opinion has the biggest chance to be a very boring soda.  It’s so overdone and the flavor is never anything spectacular.  Sure I love 7up, but I’m not going to shove a bottle into your hand unless I find out you’re sick.  Sure I tolerate Sierra Mist, but I’m not going to force you to drink it unless you want the clear carbonated liquid from Taco Bell.  Sure I don’t really like Sprite.  Wait for it… nothing.  So today I’m giving Maine Root (a highly ranked soda company by our standards) a chance with their Maine Root Lemon Lime Soda.  Already looking through the bottle I can tell you that this has a ridiculous amount of sediment.  I’m looking at pieces so large I could literally chew them.  Already Maine Root Lemon Lime Soda has taken a turn for the unique, a place few lemon lime sodas ever go.  Let’s smell it shall we?

My nostrils greet a familiar smell.  This smells like lemon lime Twang.  Now I’m sure I’ve mentioned Twang in a past review but I’m feeling far too lazy to search for it at this moment.  If the word “integer” is a link in this sentence then you’ll know I became un-lazy and found it.  As I was saying the scent coming from this bottle is a very sharp and sour lemon lime aroma.  Honestly I’m excited!  Hopefully here goes something!

Wow this does taste a little like Twang, but without the instant throat fire.  It’s like a super lemon lime soda that allows you to taste the individual lemon and lime flavors.  The carbonation factor works well with the taste and burns you just a little bit more after you’re done with your sip.  I really thought I’d be able to feel the sediment drifting down my gullet on each sip much like I would experience in a Boba tea… or the ill-fated Orbitz.  Since I wrote that last sentence you should easily deduce that I can’t feel the sediment at all.  Hooray for no icky sediment feeling!  All in all this is a great lemon lime soda, and while I wouldn’t say it completely makes my “lemon lime is boring” argument null and void it does a lot for its own cause.

~A

Lemon Lime Iguana Goodness!

Henry Weinhard's Vanilla Cream

Remember that last Henry Weinhard’s beverage we reviewed that was so very GROSS?!  No?  Me neither as they’ve all been pretty dang good.  Hopefully today’s entry into our journal, or as it will be known in the future after excavation our lore, will be just as fondly remembered.  Henry Weinhard’s Vanilla Cream is most definitely a cream soda with a draught style head.  It’s loaded with the same great ingredients (minus the fact that they use HFCS), so it should be loaded with the same great taste!  Let’s find out.

Oooooweeee!  That is a vanilla packed aroma.  It smells like they jammed so much vanilla in this bottle that it runs to the safety of the outside world to keep from overcrowding.  You know the fire marshall has really been eyeing them, trying to ticket them on any little charge.  Let’s help our vanilla friends out with their problem by consuming their souls.

Fortunately I am consuming another quality product from the shelves of Henry Weinhard.  This soda is smooth, but nothing I’m going to write more than this sentence about.  Initially I’m finding the taste to most resemble a high quality A&W Cream Soda, but with a sharper feel on your tongue.  Odd, the soon-to-be-aftertaste and the aftertaste both have hints of Big Red.  Now, I’m not the biggest fan of Big Red so it’s breaking my brain since I’m now experiencing its flavor in something I like.  Remember when you were a kid and your parents threw you that awesome dinosaur birthday party?  Of course you do, it was SO AWESOME!  Your cake was a dinosaur, your hats had dinosaurs on them, and you even got Jurassic Park on VHS/DVD/BluRay.  To top it off all of your friends were there!  All of them, even that guy that moved away last year!  Everything is coming up dinosaurs... until the doorbell rings and THAT GUY is standing there waiting for you to let him in.  You don’t like THAT GUY, you didn’t even invite him.  Who did?  It was probably your mom trying to be “polite”.  You open the door, THAT GUY has brought you nothing.  He looks around at all the dinosaur awesomeness.  “Dinosaurs, hmm?  I had a dragon party last year and everyone knows that dragons can beat up dinosaurs.”  You’re brain quickly learns your first curse word but doesn’t teach your mouth to say it.  From that point on the party never reaches its full potential.  Every fun thing that happens goes through a THAT GUY filter, diluting the ‘could be greatness’.  That’s how I feel about the Big Red taste appearing in my Henry Weinhard’s Vanilla Cream.  Ahhh that felt good.  I haven’t had a good pointless rant in a while.  Big Red taste or not this is still a better than average cream soda and it’s rating should reflect just that.

~A

Twist was never THAT GUY.

Big K Pineapple Passionfruit Soda

I just cleaned up dog vomit so by comparison this soda may get a more amazing rating than it deserves, but who knows it may knock my socks off!  The soda I’ve now mentioned in the same breath as dog vomit is Big K’s Pineapple Passionfruit Soda, another gift from the Santa-esque D. Dub.  Santa gives you things you ask for, whereas D. Dub gives you stuff he thinks you won’t like.  He’s the anti-claus really.  Anywho, this is a chemical filled beverage with a light peach color and a label like you would only expect on a 2 liter bottle of Big K.  To this day I have no idea what a passionfruit is, but I can guess that it’s pretty tasty.  How could it not be tasty when it’s called PASSIONfruit.  The software I’m typing this on really doesn’t like the fact that I keep writing it “Passionfruit” instead of “Passion Fruit”, but I’m only doing so because that’s how it’s written on the jug.  Enough chit chat… let’s do this thang!

Upon huffing said beverage I notice little to no pineapple scent escaping the opening of my Missile Command pint glass.  I’m guessing the scent I’m experiencing is that of the ever quirky Passionfruit, but that’s just a hopeful guess.  Honestly it smells a little “peachy” to me, but that might have everything to do with the color of the beverage.  On to the tasting!

Very nice for a chemical filled soda.  The carbonation visits you throughout the sip, never being the most powerful ingredient until the end.  Again, I’m not tasting a lot of pineapple here but it’s not completely absent.  It’s almost as if right as Pineapple got his pinkie toe in the bottle Peach walked up to him and made fun of his complexion.  Pineapple, now distraught, decided to give up on ever being a part of Big K Pineapple Passionfruit Soda and fell into a deep depression.  Fortunately for him the fine makers of the Dole Whip asked him to be their featured performer and he has been succeeding like gang-busters ever since.  It’s pretty much the exact same thing that happened to Jennifer Hudson.  Meanwhile back in the soda… there is also a bit of a plum flavor present as well.  I notice the plum becoming more involved during the final act of this performance, also known as the aftertaste.  Ok so maybe I don’t know what a passionfruit tastes like but I do know that this tastes like Peach Punch.  Not quite peach, not quite punch, add some carbonation and other flavors and there you have it… Peach Punch!  Quickly!  To the patent board! 

~A

Faux Fact:  The "glass pineapple" seen in this picture is the actual type of pineapple used in this soda.

Old Town Root Beer

A while back we reviewed Old Town Root Beer –Sarsparilla.  Today we shall review its seemingly twin brother… Old Town Root Beer Company – Root Beer.  For the sake of keeping the number of times I write out the word “Root Beer,” we’re just going to call it Old Town Root Beer.  Fun fact!  Old Town Root Beer has an @msn.com e-mail address.  I dunno why I put that in the review, I guess I just found it kind of amusing.  It’s not @aol.com amusing, but amusing nonetheless.  Old Town Root Beer has a short but quality ingredient list including Carbonated Water (who’d have guessed?!)  Cane Sugar, Honey, Natural and Other Flavors ("Other Flavors" always scares me a bit) Sodium Benzoate, Phosphoric Acid, and rounding out the batting order is Real Vanilla!  The label… how can I say this tactfully… looks like someone decided one day that they wanted to start making root beer out of their house and didn’t even try to learn any graphic design, so they just found a neat clip art picture.  Well to be honest with you it’s exactly one step above that.  Anywho, hopefully the flavor makes me forget about it. 

This certainly passes the smell test!  I can most definitely smell the vanilla, but it’s not so over powering that it blinds my nose to the fact that it’s about to consume a root beer.  Smellwise this passes with flying colors.  On with the tasting!

This doesn’t surprise me after smelling it but this is a tasty root beer.  There’s not a lot of carbonation going on here, but that just adds to the potential smoothness of the beverage.  I will say though that your tongue is hit with an initial shock of bubble fun.  After this, the vanilla begins to seep in and takes you to a smoother place.  This isn’t baby’s bottom smooth… what a gross comparison to a root beer that would be.  Old Town Root Beer is Pepe Le Pew smooth.  This is the sentence where I should tell you who Pepe Le Pew is, but if you don’t know you probably shouldn’t tell me, as I will go into a blind rage.  Anywho… Pepe Le Pew always seemed to be a rather smooth talking character.  He had all the lines, all the moves, didn’t rush anywhere… smooth right?  Well yes, until he actually had to deliver said smoothness to the cat with unfortunate skunk marks (Penelope for those playing at home) he was chasing.  He would gradually make his way over to Penelope and force his smoothness upon her, which of course she would not have any part of since he smelled like a skunk.  Still he tried and tried and tried, each time removing a bit of his smoothness with each failure.  That’s what Old Town Root Beer’s smoothness is like.  It’s initially very smooth, but there’s something at the end of the drink that reminds me a little bit of green NyQuil.  While tasty, I feel that Old Town Root Beer could be improved upon by adding some spice to the flavor.  The way it sits now makes for an above average root beer, but I can’t help but think this could be improved upon.  Either way… this should be tried.

~A

Twist is actually much older than the Old Town Root Beer Company

Retro 7Up

How happy I was when I saw that I could finally enjoy a 7up made with sugar.  You see 7Up was my mother’s healing elixir of choice and I’m pretty sure that you could cure the world’s ails if you just gave everyone enough 7Up and Premium saltine crackers.  If this belief is what my love of 7up hinges on… I honestly don’t know.  I do know that it’s the best tasting mainstream lemon lime brand out there.  Sprite has too “smacky” an aftertaste and Sierra Mist is almost void of any good flavor.  7up sits there in the happy middle ready to quench my thirst and balance my humors.  This Retro 7Up comes in a fantastically 70’s style bottle and begs for me to try it.  I’m so very happy I didn’t get one of the gaudy cans this beverage also comes in as I’m pretty sure half of my experience would be ruined.  Sniff test!

This should be short.  Guess what?  It smells like 7Up!  For those of you who’ve never had 7up and are old enough to read… here goes.  The light scent of lemon and lime caress my inner nostril, dancing upon my nose as if you tease the connected throat of its existence.  Voila!  Time to drink!

This is exactly what I expected it to be which is good.  I can’t imagine if I tried this Retro 7Up and it tasted like Marshmallow Fluff thus destroying both my perception of 7Up and my mind in general.  No, this tastes like a refreshing 7Up with the added perk that its taste is crisper than a normal 7Up.  There’s not a doubt in my mind that this is due to the fact this is sweetened with sugar instead of Mean Ol’ Mister High Fructose Corn Syrup.  Faux Fact:  That’s the original name of it I promise!  MOMHFCS never caught on so they shortened it to HFCS.  The drink experience itself goes down something like this.  Once this beverage hits your tongue your taste buds are immediately shown that you are drinking a citrus soda.  Just sitting on top of your ‘buds (slang for taste buds, ya like that?) Retro 7Up sizzles and bubbles awaiting the next stage of ingestion. I don’t have a regular 7Up to compare this too but Retro 7Up seems to have lighter bubbles causing a miniscule shock as it races around your mouth, something regular 7Up didn’t have.   As you move the 7Up around your mouth you’re greeted with more fizzing carbonation and the familiar taste of both lemon and lime.  The aftertaste is where things get a little hairy.  You see all is going well in the land of 7Up until I reach the aftertaste.  Let me preface all that I’m about to say (probably three whole sentences) with that I do not dislike this aftertaste… there’s just something a bit off-putting with it.  Regular 7Up with its MOMHFCS… sorry HFCS… sticks to your mouth since it’s a bit more syrupy.  On the other hand Retro 7Up ends like the movie Magnolia… unexpected.  It has a bit of a chemical feel there at the end almost tasting diet.  I’m not quite sure why this is but it’s a disappointing end to what should have been a solid ride.  I just got on the roller coaster of my dreams and it took off thrilling me.  My hat has flown off my head and I’m laughing with my best gal by my side.  Suddenly I’m stabbed in the face with the tiniest of daggers… and then another… and again.  It’s raining!  Thousands of drops of needle rain hit my laughing face contorting it with pain.  Finally the experience ends and I’m not sure whether to cheer or sigh.  That’s Retro 7Up… except I’m sure of which to do.  Sigh.

~A

but it looks so cooooooooool!

Big K Watermelon Kiwi

I hate watermelon and I hate kiwi.  So why am I drinking this anti-freeze colored liquid with the name of Big K Watermelon Kiwi?  One Mr. Dan Dub has kindly brought this delightful combination of flavors to my attention… in two full liters mind you!  Seeing as I will drink any soda anyone brings me here goes.  Here I go down this misguided path.  It’s like walking down a well-lit alley, looking at the mugger at the end as you flip your wallet from hand to hand.  Maybe drinking this out of an Atari pint glass will help with my soon to be sadness.  Awwww… my Centipede glass is dirty so I have to go with Tempest.  Ah well… time for a whiff.

Yup.  That’s definitely the smell of chemicals made to smell like watermelon/kiwi.  I really don’t want to smell this again just to write another sentence about it so we’re going to move on.

Ok… so I’m not dead or vomiting.  This seems to be a perk of the fact that this doesn’t actually have any watermelon or kiwi in it.  Chemicals for the win!  In fact the watermelon flavoring is quite subtle and I honestly couldn’t tell you what a kiwi tasted like anymore.  I just remember having a horrible experience with one as a child never to eat one again.  Big K Watermelon Kiwi starts off smooth with that subtle taste I spoke of earlier.  Once you actually go into the act of ingesting it though a shock of carbonation hits the back of your throat and the flavor intensifies a bit more before dissolving into a ghost of its former self.  While I will end up finishing the two liter (not out of love but out of not wasting a two liter) the best thing about Big K Watermelon Kiwi is its color.  It’s a muted florescent green that would stand out in any soda lineup.  Honestly I don’t hate this soda nor would I put it on any top 10 lists.  I would however suggest that someone use it in a punch of some kind.  Something tells me that this would work 100% better as a supporting player instead of the lead.  Well my Tempest glass is now empty and I don’t feel like going back downstairs to fill it back up thus lengthening this review. 

~A

Faux FAct:  Twist's blood is actual anti-freeze

MTN Dew Pitch Black

   So apparently being a soda reviewer I’m supposed to review this limited edition Mountain Dew Pitch Black.  As I understand this beverage has quite the following and it seems that it’s high time that I jump on the bandwagon.  Back in 2005 I tried to jump on the pseudo-bandwagon when Pitch Black 2 came out.  I feigned all of the excitement one might have seen since I never got the chance to try the original.  Pitch Black 2 was alright but nothing cult worthy to me so I figured that the original must have been heads and tails above its sequel.  If only I had some sort of way I could travel back to 2004 and give the original a try.  Well looky here!  Thanks to Mountain Dew… or should I say Mtn Dew (I will never say “Mtn Dew” again in this review because it’s asinine) I can now experience what I originally missed all without the help of a Delorian… which of course is points against.  The label is a very extreme purple matching the color of the beverage itself.  I really wish I had a black light to see if this bottle could truly be fantastical.  Ah well, time for a whiff.

   Ok… so that’s not quite what I was expecting.  The scent I was greeted with was that of citrus and grape… heavy on the grape fortunately.  Based on scent alone this is Mountain Dew with grape flavoring, oddly enough the label clearly states that this is Pitch Black with a BLAST of BLACK GRAPE.  I figured this was Mountain Dew with a blast of black grape but what do I know.  I’m kind of curious what Pitch Black would taste like without its blast of black grape but we’re not here for that today.   What we’re here for is transporting me back to 2004 so that I may experience the apparent amazement that is Mountain Dew Pitch Black… and so we shall.

   Interesting.  This isn’t nearly as EXTREME as I thought it would be but I find that’s working out for the experience thus far.  Instantly I can rank this as a Top 2 Dew for me.  I’m not sure what would come first but this and Code Red are now neck and neck.  Upon the first sip your tongue is immediately met with the knives of a thousand citrus flavored carbonation bubbles.  After the bubbles lay down their arms the grape, apparently black grape, flavor shows itself.  It doesn’t show in an extreme way like your uncle (it’s always a creepy uncle isn’t it?) at the last family gathering though.  Instead, Mountain Dew Pitch Black raises its hand, gets called upon, and casually states that “Yes I’m a Mountain Dew with grape flavoring”.  I realize that Mountain Dew tries to cater to an extreme/gamer/youthful audience but their flavors don’t bring that out in me.  Maybe…maybe I’m old now and just “don’t get it” anymore.  Ah well, if I “don’t get” Mountain Dew’s marketing I’m probably over thinking it.  Why did I go off on that mini-tangent?  Must be time for my old people pills.  Back to the beverage at hand. 

   I’m finding myself really enjoying Pitch Black and wish that I’d been on this train when my love of Mountain Dew was at its peak.  Like I said earlier it’s up there with Code Red in my opinion and I used to be a fiend for Code Red.  One of the strengths of the Mountain Dew brand is that they aren’t afraid to try and create Frankensteinesque sodas that combine the already popular Dew flavor with that of grape, orange, white stuff, etc.  This of course results in the occasional monstrosity but gives people even more reason to buy Dew products.  Pitch Black is good.  I’m good with this.  Of course it’s full of chemicals and that will hurt the score a bit but I can tell you that I’ll be looking for Mountain Dew Pitch Black again next year.  Now… who do I talk to about Surge, Crystal Pepsi, and the original Sprite Re-mix?

~A

Twist, of course, is the only one extreme enough to be that close to the label.

Topo-Sabores Peach

Once upon a time there was a boy who wanted a soda.  Not just any soda mind you but a Topo-Sabores Peach soda to be precise.  You see a lion once told the boy that Topo-Sabores Peach soda was delicious but this lion wasn’t always to be trusted since he always seemed to regard Topo-Sabores products at the highest level.  One day a magical wizard named Abel gave the boy a bottle of the peach concoction under one condition… that he review it and put it up in the town square for all to see.  Of course the boy obliged and ran home with his bottle of Topo-Sabores Peach.  When he finally arrived at his home he gazed in wonder at the cool bottle in his hands.  Glancing over the contents of the bottle he noticed that this contained both cane sugar and some form of black magic called high fructose corn syrup.  Confused he decided he better not think about it too much or he might fall ill.    Quickly he broke the seal hoping to get a whiff of what majesty lay before him.

It was certainly peaches, or at least black magic made to taste like peaches, that populated the inside of this container.  While he hadn’t tasted this bubble nectar just yet his nose wouldn’t lie to him… would it?

Putting the lip of the bottle to his own he tilted it back to finally enjoy what the wizard had given him.  A broad smile crossed his face as the sweet peach soda raced across his tongue quickly being chased off by a horde of bubbles giving the soda a sharp contrasting after taste.  This wasn’t as smooth as he believed it would be, as this wasn’t the boys first peach soda, but he enjoyed it nonetheless.  Out of nowhere a dragon came lumbering along flicking its tongue moving closer and closer to the boy’s soda.  Panicking the boy ran off forgetting the Topo-Sabores behind him.  Looking over his shoulder he saw it was too late for him to save his soda… by the look on the dragon’s face it was to be consumed quickly.  The boy’s mood dropped as he remembered how much he enjoyed the peach flavoring, caused by black magic or not.  “Wait a minute,” the boy said allowed, “if a wizard made this for me shouldn’t it be the best soda I’ve ever had?  I mean he is a wizard and all.  This soda is enjoyable but a wizard should be able to create something out of this world.”  With that the boy walked into town square ready to post his review.  “Where is the soda the wizard gave you?  Wasn’t it most special?  Do you think he could make me one?” a passing peasant pondered.  “It was alright.”  The boy responded.  “Don’t bother asking him to make you one though.  You’re better off buying a bottle.”

Epilogue – As the years passed the boy grew and matured.  He made a lot of friends along the way and did some pretty amazing stuff.  That boy grew up to be Abraham Lincoln.

~A

To this day no one knows what happened to the dragon.  Some say he size was exaggerated, others say he still walks among us.  I guess we'll never know.

Bulldog Root Beer

Who's a good iguana? Twist's a good iguana! Who want's a tummy rub? Twist wants a tummy rub!

Bulldog Root Beer, Unleash the Taste!  That’s what the bottle in front of me reads.  When I think of unleashing something I think that I’m going to have such a hard time controlling it that I’m just gonna give up and take it off the leash.  This “thing” that I’m unleashing is going to be powerful, brash, unstoppable, unforgettable, and even dangerous.  I know that they’re probably making a dog pun in this situation but even if that were true they really need to “mean up” the dogs on the label.  These two lovable, dopey (in a good way), looking dogs are just sitting there looking at me waiting for a good tummy rub.  These puppies don’t need to be “unleashed” they need a chew toy and a nap.  Anyway… enough of that.  Bulldog Root Beer is of course a root beer and judging by the ingredients a pretty high quality one at that.  It’s sweetened with a combination of cane sugar and honey but sadly also had sodium benzoate.  I haven’t picked on sodium benzoate in a while so I thought I’d bring it back up.  One thing I notice is that they use “real vanilla”.  That’s how it’s listed on the label… “real vanilla”.  Not once have I ever seen “fake vanilla”.  I’ve seen “vanilla extract” which I what I assume they are separating themselves from by saying “real vanilla” but I found it rather silly to see.  Anywho, it’s time to open up this paw laden bottle and see what we can dig up!  Ha!  I can make dog puns too.

This has a rich creamy root beer smell.  One determining factor of a delicious root beer is when you can actually smell that it’s creamy.   That tells you it’ll probably go great with some Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla Ice Cream.  If you don’t have Blue Bell in your area I’m so very sorry, you’ll have to manage on whatever “Ice Cream” you can get your hands on.  Speaking of “on”… on to the tasting!

Wow that is creamy… if I do say so the creamiest root beer I’ve ever experienced.  Bulldog Root Beer almost has a cream soda finish to it.  The carbonation isn’t really a factor when compared to the flavor and mouth feel.  The mouth feel and aftertaste is so smooth it’s almost buttery.  Now I know that buttery root beer sounds gross but I don’t mean that kind of butter.  The after taste I’m getting here is very similar to that of butterscotch.  I’m a big fan of butterscotch so this ranks very high with me.  Fun fact:  The only candy I’ve ever choked on was butterscotch.  My grandfather held me upside down while my grandmother patted me on the back to dislodge it.  The butterscotch must have realized my love of it while being dissolved by my saliva and in a selfless act to save its future brethren tried to murder me.  Anywho… back to what remains of this review.  A lot of times when a soda uses honey to sweeten it’s one of the main things you taste; this is not the case for Bull Dog Root Beer.  I’m thinking the honey paired with the cane sugar is what’s cutting that honey flavor I so often find when sampling a Thomas Kemper or the like.  Here is the part where I apologize for mocking “real vanilla”.  That “real vanilla” is surely a large part of why I’m loving this so very much.  It’s adding just the right amount of “smooth” to the flavor to set it apart from other root beers.  It’s not hard to find subtle differences in root beer.  They can be made so many different ways you’re not going to find one that immolates another just right.  The real reward is when you find a root beer that has differences that could be spotted from space.  Bulldog Root Beer is one of those root beers.  As of today we’ve reviewed 30 root beers and I can’t think of one that gives you an experience like the one I have in front of me today.

A “Twist’s Choice” Recipient

Stander - Mint Soda

   “We're a German based non-alcoholic mint flavoured Premium Soda”.  Those are some of the words written to me in an e-mail by the nice people at Ständer.  Of course I had to oblige.  There isn’t much in that description that I could say no to for very long.  What I got from them was a package of Ständer soda along with a coaster and a bar napkin.  I have so many questions now!  Will I hate this?  Will I love it?  Am I hip enough to drink something from an 8 oz. black metal bottle?  Will this freshen my breath in any way?  Going back one question and speaking of the 8 oz. black metal bottle… this is some of the coolest packaging I’ve ever seen associated with a soda.  Looking at the ingredients on the side I feel even better about my soon to be consumed beverage:  Filtered Sparkling Water, Natural Beet Sugar, Natural Lemon and Spearmint Flavor, Citric Acid, Natural Caffeine, Vitamins B6, B12, B7 and B5.  The only bit of color on the black bottle is a picture of three mint leaves (in the appropriate color) with the words “mint your mind” underneath them.  I’m not really sure what “minting my mind” consists of but I’m willing to try anything once… well not ANYTHING but “soda anything”.  Ok, I can’t handle writing about what this might be like any more.  I have to try it now!

   WOW!  That is certainly filled with mint.  It smells like I just crushed up mint leaves in my hands and inhaled them.  That is THE most unique smelling soda I’ve ever encountered.  Obviously I’ve smelled mint before but never coming out of my soda bottle.  I can’t state the strength of the smell enough.  It’s a very strong, very minty, almost alcoholic (but it’s not) scent.  Enough chatter… time for the drinking.

   Ok… that’s odd.  Initially I experience a refreshing taste that’s light on carbonation.  You can definitely taste the spearmint and as of right now it may be too much for my palate.  I’ve also given a taste of this to my co-worker and he says he liked it but he’s also a huge fan of spearmint.  I’ll include his rating at the end of this review along with mine.  I’m finding that if I take larger sips/gulps it helps with the strong spearmint taste… maybe because the rest of my tongue gets to experience it instead of just a concentrated area.  If I did indeed drink alcoholic beverages this seems like it would mix amazingly with some of them.  Sorry, I haven’t taken you through the drink gamut yet.  Hold on, here we go!  As soon as you drink Ständer you are greeted with that spearmint flavor that I’ve now mentioned too many times.  That washes away leaving a cleaner aftertaste but not letting you forget about the unique flavor you just consumed.  At no point in this process do you ever forget that you’re drinking mint soda and for that they should be applauded.  I’ve reviewed Lavender and Juniper Berry  flavored soda both of which tasted more like somewhat flavored sparkling water.  Ständer on the other hand is not backing off the flavor listed on their label in the slightest.  You take your awesome looking black metal bottle; you beat off the hipsters in the club groping as said bottle trying to look cooler to their respective peers.  Then you open said bottle and inhale what is obviously spearmint.  Drinking it you try not to look too surprised at what you taste, although you are, because if you look surprised you lose the look of “that cool guy with the hip metal bottle.”  Then flocks of hipster chicks/guys make their way toward you so that they too can experience mint soda.  Now… were my questions answered?

Will I hate this?  - No, not at all.  The spearmint flavoring was off putting at first but I got used to it.

Will I love it?  - No, I don’t love it either but I do like it.

Am I hip enough to drink something from an 8 oz. black metal bottle?  - I’m pretty sure this 8 oz. bottle would at least make me feel like I had more cred at a club.

Will this freshen my breath in any way? – As far as I can tell… no, not really.

Were my questions answered? – Well, yes.  You just read them.

(Note: This soda was given to us by Ständer)

The only being in the universe that is scientifically cooler than a Ständer bottle... is Twist

Zevia Cream Soda

Zevia.  They don’t use sugar.  They use the stevia leaf to sweeten.  They’re all natural.  They have zero calories.  They have simple but enjoyable can art.  Most every flavor we’ve tried has had a horrible aftertaste completely negating the awesomeness of the previous sentences.  With that said I’m going to try Zevia Cream Soda and hope, hope, hope, that it doesn’t follow the formula of its bretheren.

The scent is that of a cream soda so my mind has already partially forgotten about the aftertaste that I will more than likely find at the end of each sip.  If I could just enjoy this by smelling it then I’d be a happy camper up to this point.

So close.  The cream soda flavor held on for as long as it possibly could until giving way to the ogre that is the aftertaste.  As the old saying goes “once you let an ogre in your hut there’s an ogre in your hut.”  That’s not an old saying or even a saying for that matter but it still rings true in the case of any Zevia soda.  Once you taste the slightest bit of that aftertaste it just builds upon itself until it has ruined the entire experience.  The first half of each sip tastes like a decent cream soda… nothing special but nothing I’d turn down.  The amount of carbonation you experience is light but that’s to be expected with any cream soda.  I will say that the aftertaste is more muted in Zevia Cream Soda than it has been in any of the previous flavors I’ve tried.  That’s not to say that it isn’t there but that it’s much more bearable.  “Oh!  He said it was bearable!  That must mean it’s going to get a better review than the other flavors!”  Nope.  I don’t look for drinks that are bearable.  I look for drinks that are good… drinks that I can recommend to others without being chastised later.  If you can’t have sugar or you’re on a diet of some sort then this is the cream soda for you!  I agree with that statement 100% because I don’t want you to think that there isn’t a place in the market for Zevia brand sodas.  They are very healthy sodas (as sodas go) and shouldn’t be ignored just because I’m not a fan of them.  On the flip side… even though there’s a place in the market for them there is not such a place in my fridge.

~A

That's the closest Twist could bare to bring his tongue to the can for fear of aftertaste

Zevia Ginger Ale

As you may have noticed we’ve gotten an influx of Zevia reviews in the past few weeks.  This is because the kind folks at Zevia sent us a sample of all their flavors.  One of the two I’ve chosen to review is Zevia Ginger Ale.  Zevia of course is sweetened with the stevia leaf, a natural sugar alternative that has zero caloric value.  Zevia soda is also 100% all natural… something we can all get behind.  Adorning the side of the can I’m about to open are the words “It’s what soda should always have been.”  Hold up there Zevia, let’s just see about that.  I’ve had stevia sweetened drinks before and while initially the taste is good the aftertaste always ruins the party.  This is one reason I chose ginger ale as one of my two flavors to review.  I believe that ginger ale should have a muted enough aftertaste to hopefully knock out any trace of stevia.  Let’s find out!

Upon sniffing said all natural soda I find a light ginger scent wafting out of the drink hole.  Putting my face this close to the can makes me realize that I never mentioned the can art itself.  I like it.  It’s a simple olive/forest green background with the bubbly Zevia logo floating along with the bubbles.  It’s not flashy but it’s unique enough to catch the eye.  I’ll have to find out if they make shirts.  Time for a taste.

Ok, well my initial fear is somewhat quelled.  Zevia Ginger Ale is one of the lighter flavored ginger ales I’ve tasted to this point.  The taste that you experience throughout the Zevia Ginger Ale drinking process never changes.  It’s a lightly flavored ginger soda that tastes a little chemically due to what I can only imagine is the stevia.  Since the drink itself tastes oddly chemically there is no chemical aftertaste… because the taste never changes enough for me to consider it an aftertaste.  I really wish I could like this soda but I probably won’t drink it ever again.  I can finish this can and at the end of the review I’ll suggest that you do the same.  (*Note* I tried to finish the can and got to the point where I didn’t want to try anymore.  Ultimately this is what dropped the score. *End Note*) The stevia aftertaste, which in this case is the actual taste, isn’t for everyone which means it’s also for someone.  I’m just one of those people that isn’t a fan of it.  I like the concept behind stevia sweetened sodas but the delivery always falls short.  I will say that we’ve reviewed a beverage that was half sugar, half stevia sweetened and that it was fantastic!  Maybe that’s what needs to happen here.  Is zero calories so much better than half the calories of a normal soda when the taste is put into jeopardy?  It’d still be all natural but the aftertaste that many of my reviewers have noted would probably be gone.  As a diet soda it’s a great alternative!  I mean it’s an all-natural diet soda… that’s wonderful but at the end of the day I have to judge this on a normal soda scale.  If you were reading then the upcoming verdict should be of no shock.  Great ingredients, good can art, meh flavor that gets worse the more you drink it.

~A

(note:  This beverage was supplied to us by Zevia)

So refreshing... the iguana not the drink

Double Cola

As usual the drink sitting in front of me has yet to be experienced by my taste buds.  Today’s installment shall be titled “Double Cola”.  Double Cola, according to the bottle, has “Double Measure” and “Double Pleasure”.  I find it kind of odd that the word “double” (which is looking less like a word every time I type it) is prominently displayed on this bottle three times.  Double Cola, according to Wikipedia, comes from the Ski line of beverages… none of which I have personally tasted but some of which I’ve been told to.  With that said I fully expect a super strong cola with this one.  Shouldn’t I?  I mean it’s double cola which I assume means double the cola flavor.  Let’s find out shall we?

So far so good!  The force is strong in this one, the cola aroma smacks me in the nose for even trying to work in a Star Wars reference.  C’mon Double Cola, I haven’t had a good cola in a while.  Let YOU be that next great cola I try

This isn’t what I expected at all.  Where’s the bite?  I expected a very strong bite to assault my throat like a hot Coke.  What I got was one of the smoother colas I’ve consumed which I would normally associate with weakness in flavor.  Not here.  Double Cola lives up to its name though, unlike "hilarious reference here", with a strong almost magical cola flavor.  The more I drink this the more I like it.  The deep cola flavor soaks into my mouth making sure I get the most out of each sip.  The cane sugar sweetening this cola makes sure it never feels syrupy during the consumption process.  I know I just said it wasn’t syrupy but the cola flavoring compares closest to cola flavored sno-cone syrup.  Not the sno-cone itself but the highest of rewards that awaits you in the bottom of your sno-cone.  You just thought a sno-cone was a dessert.  No, sir.  The dessert is the 35 milliliters of syrup that sit at the bottom of your Styrofoam cup.  Sorry to all you folks that only had sno-cones in actual paper cones.  Styrofoam cups are where it’s at in the world of sno-cone.  With all that said Double Cola delivered today.  I will now list this as one of the best colas I’ve ever had.  Try it and you will too!

~A

Twist's pleasure was actually tripled.  He knows how to work the system.