Martian Poop Soda

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Little ditty, ‘bout Alice and Diane.  Two nice women, buying sodas for this man.  I wish I could convert more lyrics of Mr. Cougar Mellencamp, but sadly that talent eludes me.  The two ladies in the single line that I did convert bought me the soda I’m about to consume, so thanks to them… I think. 

I’m about to drink Martian Poop.  Yup, that’s all there is to it.  I’m going to consume Martian Poop soda made by Rocket Fizz.  I’m almost happy to be drinking Martian Poop soda so that I’ll never have to write this article again.  This article in which I’ll have to type the words Martian Poop over and over again.  According to the label, Martians excrete a green substance that looks much like what would come out of a cartoon dog.  Thankfully the label also informs me (in tiny print) that this is a marionberry flavored soda.  Sadly, I have no idea what a marionberry is.  I know what a Marion Barry is, but not a marionberry.  TO THE INTERNET!  Ok, so the Marion is a type of blackberry, a blackberry with a very complex flavor at that.  So things may be looking up for this bottle of Martian Poop Soda, but I’m not holding my breath.

ALL THE EASTER CANDY

As fragrant as you might think a bottle of Martian Poop Soda may be, the fruit aroma that should be there is very mild and my nose struggles at pulling a scent through the opening of the bottle.  Perhaps Martian Poop (I really should have a counter going at this point) really shines in the way it tastes.

Well that’s kind of fun, then way too sweet, then fun again, then overly sweet.  Martian Poop Soda has a burst of foamy fizz that really lights up my mouth.  Then I got a quick peak at a somewhat vague blackberry fruit flavor.  Almost immediately after that blackberry flavor appears it vanishes and Martian Poop gives off the flavor of ALL THE EASTER CANDY (excluding chocolate).  It’s not obnoxiously sweet, but it’s the equivalent of some kid “not touching you, I’m not touching you, I’m not touching you” obnoxious.  You’re just waiting for him to touch you so he can face your rage.  After ALL THE EASTER CANDY flavor subsides, you’re left with the last breath of the carbonation as it tries to convince you of the fun you had on this short journey.  Hard as it might try, the carbonation’s last wish is unfulfilled.  Martian Poop Soda is just too loaded with sugar and nonsense to really be a good soda.  Is it fun?  Yes, to a point.  Are some kids going to love the fact that they’re drinking something called Martian Poop?  Yes, of course they are.  Am I done writing the words “Martian Poop” for a very long time?  Yes, yes I am.

~A

Avery's Monster Mucus

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There aren’t many words that gross me out when I hear/read them.  I’d put the over-under at about 10 total that I’ve come across.  Sadly one of those words is in the title of today’s beverage.  Avery’s Monster Mucus… ugggh.. is in front of me and my throat will convulse every time I type the word mucus.  A couple of nice ladies, Alice & Diane, are the reason this repulsive bottle of liquid is in front of me; I must thank them both.  There’s a Simpson-esque slime man on the bottle that I’m supposing we’re to believe is the creator of this beverage.  I mean he is a monster and I can only assume he’s secreting mucus, so I’m thinking the story goes that I’m about to drink him.  Thankfully there’s also a proper flavor listing of Strawberry/Blue Raspberry on the label as well.  Oh, and the label uses one of my favorite made up words “SODAsgusting”.  That’s fantastic and I really have nothing else to say about it.

Twist is vomiting

The blue raspberry is clearly the boss around here as I can’t even tell that strawberry is in the mix due to the pungent aroma of the former.  With a second whiff I think I’m getting a touch of the tartness found in your friendly neighborhood strawberry.  Perhaps I should drink it to make further observations.

The first sip is a little underwhelming as both tastes seems to cancel each other out and create almost a non-taste.  Maybe my mouth just needs a few more sips to acclimate to this new environment.  As I work my way further down the bottle a noticeable blue raspberry taste shows up, but does not really impress me.  True to its weak scent the strawberry thought better than to appear today, letting the blue raspberry take the brunt of the criticism.  Each sip also brings the taste of grape to my lips as well.  This grape/raspberry flavoring coupled with the sharp carbonation creates a fairly average fruit flavored soda.  Yes it’s sweetened with cane sugar, but you always run the risk of having a very vague soda flavor when you start combining fruit.  It seems that’s what’s happened here with Avery’s Monster Mucus.  With such an “out-there” flavor name I was hoping for something that would be memorable.  Instead I got a flavor combination that while somewhat tasty will be forgotten in a matter of days.

~A

Strawberry Shasta

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Here’s something odd, well at least I find it odd.  I’ve never had a Shasta soda that I can remember.  It’s Shasta!  How have I lived 31 years and never had one.  The mascot of one of our local universities is named Shasta, yet trying the drink has eluded me.  I’m not exactly sure how a mascot’s name and me trying a soda tie in together, but that doesn’t matter when it’s something as silly as this.  A nice lady I work with, whom I will name Good Morning, put me on a mission to find Strawberry Shasta.  Upon searching for it I found that the only places near me that sold Shasta were Brookshire Bros. grocery stores.  Now I’m not sure how it is where you live, but around here Brookshire Bros. are located in more rural areas so I rarely see one.  Well, Good Morning was driving past one by chance and made the U-turn to check it out.  Long story somewhat shorter, she brought me a Shasta Strawberry to review. 

Glancing at the ingredients I quickly see that Shasta Strawberry is chock full of chemical goodness.  I wasn’t expecting anything amazing here, so my thoughts have not been swayed.  This can art is keeping me in a positive mood.  It feels so fun and retro while keeping the can fresh and eye-catching.  Hopefully the flavor is on the fun side.

Twist smells of strawberries.

It smells of strawberry soda.  Ok, a little more detail is necessary.  It’s not quite as sugary smelling as I thought it would be, but the chemical mixture inside keeps it from smelling like fresh strawberries or any nonsense like that.

Wow, color me somewhat slightly impressed.  Shasta Strawberry, even with 36 grams of sugar in it, doesn’t taste a sugar sandwich made with sugar, marshmallows, sugar, sugar, and some strawberry syrup.  No, in fact this tastes merely like sugar, carbonated water, and strawberry syrup which oddly enough is a step in the right direction for strawberry sodas.  Enough blabbering, this tastes like the carbonated version of those little strawberry candies your grandmother bought back in 1985.  If you want to buy over five pounds of these candies or just want to know what I’m talking about click this fabulous link.  Anywho, these strawberry candies (and Strawberry Shasta) have the talent of chemically mimicking both the tart and sweet aspects of our friend the strawberry.  It is this feature that allows me to gently nudge Shasta Strawberry past its numerous counterparts.

~A

 

Hank's Root Beer

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I’ve had a few of the Hank’s line of sodas before, but there’s just something about the phrase “Hank’s Root Beer” that works out really well.  Hank sounds like a root beer making fool.  Someone who probably started tinkering with it in his kitchen until friends requested it by name.  “Hey, have you tried any of Hank’s root beer?”  “I’m making a stop in Greenville on the way to Springtown.  Yeah, of course I’m stopping by Hank’s place.  His root beer is great.”  See?  All of that seems really natural.  I really wish that this was just called Hank’s Root Beer, but the full name is sadly “Genuine Hank’s Gourmet Philadelphia Recipe Root Beer”.  That’s far too complicated.  Thankfully though, the overly long name doesn’t change the fact that this is a root beer made with cane sugar.  Not “pure cane sugar” or “100% natural cane sugar”, just cane sugar.  At least they kept that simple.

Twist was the 2nd mayor of Philly.

The scent that comes off of the bottle upon opening shares the aroma qualities you’d find in a creamy root beer while simultaneously smelling like a root beer with some bite.  I’ve learned when these two properties share a home that the one that bites is usually the winner in the taste contest on your tongue.  Let’s find out if that’s the case.

Hank’s Root Beer does have a bit of a punch to it as I thought it would, but I was incorrect in thinking the aggressive side of the root beer would overshadow the creaminess.  There is a vanilla backdrop that hangs there during the entire act as both “Creamy” and “Bitey” act out their parts on stage.  Since “Bitey’s” mom dressed him in the same color as the backdrop, it’s “Creamy” that ultimately steals the show.  Which is the worse name for an actual child, Creamy or Bitey?  Anywho, the smooth sensation of vanilla coupled with the ultimately creamy mouth feel of this root beer really make it a beverage to try.  The sweetness level tastes like it’s on the higher end of the spectrum, but it’s nothing that makes your teeth feel like they’re going to rot out of your mouth if you drink a bottle or two.  I’m quite pleased with this bottle of Hank’s Root Beer.  It doesn’t do anything particularly amazing, but what it does do it does very well.

~A

 

 

Lean - Yella

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Today’s offering from ThirstMonger is a relaxation beverage.  Currently I don’t need a relaxation beverage because my wife is listening to one of the dullest power point presentations I’ve ever half listened to.  Ah, education.  Thankfully, I can focus all my attention on this can of Lean (flavor “Yella”) in front of me.  ThirstMonger sent me three flavors of Lean: Purp, Easta Pink, and of course Yella.  Having reviewed other relaxation beverages I had grown tired of the whole “purple drank” variation and was pleased to see that Lean offered other non “Purp” flavors for those that craved more variety from their chillaxation beverages.  Lean is labeled as the “slow motion…potion”.  Even their tagline has an ellipsis in it, this must be good.  I wasn’t all that shocked to see melatonin in the ingredient list, but I was surprised to see sugar.  I would have thought they’d have gone the HFCS route, but I’m happily wrong about that.  The band around the top of the can gives us the flavor title of “Yella”, but also includes tiny pictures of pineapples.  I’m not sure what I would have assumed the flavor of “Yella” was without this picture cue, so I’m pleased it exists.

Twist is always leaning.  Always.

An unusual pineapple cream aroma races out of the can, almost desperate for me to smell it.  There’s an unexpected amount of sweetness in this scent so I’m a bit more curious as to what Lean – Yella will taste like. 

Yella tastes as it smells.  There is a sweet, smooth, pineapple taste that washes over all aspects of my mouth.  The carbonation is small, but shows up in powerful bursts throughout the drinking process.  Even though there are tiny pineapples on this can, I’m quite pleased with the fact that “Pineapple” is not listed as the flavor.  While it is the primary taste I’m experiencing it has been mutated into something much more interesting than your standard apple of pine.  The sweetness, that I’ve now mentioned several times, is quite similar to what you might find in a cream soda.  There’s also a bit of vanilla within this pineapple soda.  This addition keeps each swig somewhat fresh and allows for repeated returns to the beverage.  On the negative side, Lean – Yella is somewhat syrupy and some might find it overly sugary.  There are only 28 grams of sugar in a serving which may sound like a lot, but Mountain Dew is made with a number that travels well over 40g.  This sweetness does build upon itself making it difficult to finish off this 16oz can, but all in all it’s a fairly tasty beverage.  The rating I give it may seem a little low, but just know it’s on the high end.

~A

 

Faygo Orange

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Orange soda is one of the staple sodas out there when you’re talking about the fruit flavored variety.  Personally I prefer grape to orange, but there aren’t many times I’d turn down an orange soda.  This cane sugar sweetened Faygo Orange in front of me has been dressed up in a simply stylish glass bottle and begs for review.  A quick peak at the back tells me that the ingredients aren’t really worth mentioning and I should be on my way with this review.

As seen here, Twist sleeps with his eyes open

Your standard orange aroma escapes the bottle top and does nothing to impress me.  That said, the flavor inside will hopefully hold a few tricks up its sleeve, less I grow bored with it as well.

A quick punch of carbonation and the rest is a sweet burst of orange that identifies more with candy than fruit.  This sweet, somewhat syrupy beverage has already taken a somewhat permanent residence in my mouth.  The velvet curtain, which is usually reserved for beverages sweetened with HFCS, has fallen and it’s all I can do not to taste this rather ordinary orange soda.  Faygo Orange isn’t something many would describe as “poor tasting”, but it’s somewhat yawn worthy.  I’d much rather purchase the store brand orange soda and take my chance with the HFCS if it meant getting a more vibrant flavor. 

~A

 

 

Almdudler

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Moxie is the official state soft drink of Maine; it’s rather important up there.  I think it’s pretty darn nifty that a state has an official soft drink.  Heck, I wish all states had one, that way I could make it a point to “drink around the USA” and try them all.  While official states sodas are cool and all, they don’t hold a candle to what I’m about to consume.  Today’s selection is the NATIONAL Soft Drink of Austria and it’s called Almdudler - 50 Jahre.  Since Austrian and German are similar languages I can tell you that 50 Jahre means 50 Years and is probably not a part of the name.  Heck English is Germanic so you probably figured that one out without failing German in college.  I have no earthly idea what Almdudler is, if it is indeed anything other than a brand.  TO GOOGLE! 

Ok, so Almdudler is just a brand, but the name apparently comes from an old phrase “auf der Alm dudeln” which means singing in the alpine meadows.  There’s your history lesson for the day and a few words that will surely end up carrying some unsuspecting Austrians to our site.  Howdy, Austrians! 

The romantic bottle scene is somewhat ruined by the giant green iguana staring at them.

Looking at the affixed English label I see that Almdudler is made with carbonated water, cane sugar, citric acid and natural flavors.  The ingredients go on to say that Almdudler contains NO preservatives or artificial ingredients.   That’s a little bit of a white lie as citric acid is a natural preservative, but since it’s the national soft drink of Austria we’ll let it slide.

Why did I think this cap would twist off?  No discernible smell comes from the bottle, but after a hefty huff I get the smallest ideas that it might be apple flavored.  The ingredients, as you might recall, just list “natural flavors” so I’m really just guessing here.  This is no time for guessing though, it’s time for drinking.

Well, it looks like I’ll be guessing for a while.  Wait… delayed apple taste, oddly enjoyable.  Almdudler doesn’t have a very strong flavor at all.  It avoids the crashing chandelier at the beginning of the play and just shoves a small boy out to quietly sing.  The initial taste has me stumped as it’s sort of fruity, but the flavor isn’t exaggerated enough for me to identify it.  Gradually I get a bit of citrus taste until I’m led to the subtle apple at the end. 

Ok, so I tried to cheat and look up the flavor of Almdudler by going to their website.  I was met with the yell of “ALMDUDLER!” and then given a… well how shall I describe it.  Did any of you ever play Monty Python’s Complete Waste of Time for PC?  No?  That doesn’t surprise me, but if you had you’d realize that this website is designed like that game from 1995.  It’s the perfect comparison, so I really don’t care if you get it or not.  Ok, so the website is very click friendly and has little surprises when you hover your mouse over it.  Here, go to the website already.  Just promise you’ll come back.

Long story somewhat shorter, I never found out the actual flavor of Almdudler, but I’m going to stick by my citrus to apple flavor assessment and recommend that you try it.  There is a bitterness that takes residence within my mouth as I take sip after sip.  It’s not going away, even if I wait a few minutes between consumption.  This bitterness, even though I’m not a fan, does keep the beverage from being too sweet.  I’ll take slightly bitter over nauseatingly sweet any day.  Such an odd experience.  The flavors are so familiar, but just different enough that it seems fresh.  If I had to classify it as a soda though, I’d probably say bitter apple.  Doesn’t that sound delicious?  Bitter Apple soda?  Yes, yes it does sound delicious.  There I answered for you.  Almdudler on the other hand is bitter apple soda plus, and the plus is really a minus in my opinion because something just isn’t working for me.

~A

 

Cherry Breese

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Hey, NERD!  You lookin' for something to read, NERD?  Too bad, because this soda has already been reviewed on Episode 37 of TheSodaJerks.net Popcast!  Find out what we thought of it and more "after the jump" as they used to say 3 years ago.  Don't get to feeling down though, here's a picture of the soda you wanted reviewed. 

 

Twist hates misspelled words.

Fentimans Mandarin and Seville Orange Jigger

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If I had a list of my top ten favorite bottle caps, Fentimans would be near the top.  Perhaps it’s my love of dogs, but the image of this great wolf like canine on the cap brings a smile to my face every time I see it.  What this hound is guarding is a bottle of Fentimans Mandarin and Seville Orange Jigger.  Now most of us are somewhat familiar with the taste of a mandarin orange.  If you’ve ever had a clementine or tangerine, those are both examples of the mandarin family.  Now I actually had to look up what a Seville orange was.  The Seville orange, or bitter orange, is known for its tart taste and has its oil used in perfumes and the like.

Two oranges entered this bottle and they’ll both emerge, but hopefully I will be the victor.  Cane sugar also entered this bottle, along with fermented ginger root extracts and of course carbonated water.  I’m a little nervous on how “bitter” this might taste, but I suppose there’s only one way to find out.

After upending this bottle it dawned on me how much the liquid inside looks like egg yolk.  The aroma, on the other hand, is very much that of orange juice.  Ok, so two of your ingredients are oranges, it’d be terrifying if it didn’t smell like orange juice.  Let’s see if I’m about to have a midday breakfast beverage.

Twist has eaten all varieties of orange.

While the initial flavor is not completely of my liking, I can definitely see folks enjoying this.  Four or five air bubbles rush to the back of the bottle each time I put it to my lips, creating a sound that can only be described as “blorb”.  In simple terms, Fentimans Mandarin and Seville Orange Jigger tastes like a somewhat fermented, somewhat bitter orange juice.  Even though I feel it can be hastily described as I have just done, each sip though is complex enough that I want take another and try to figure out all aspects of the drink.  There are hints of ginger throughout and the flavor doesn’t stay the same for any amount of time, it’s constantly changing from the first bitter bite to the eventual sweet orange sensation that sort of rests on my tongue.  Low carbonation allows for all of these changes to occur unhindered by potential raucous bubbles.  It’s such a great beverage, but I just don’t like the taste.

We’ve reached a point where I’m going to have to explain myself and the rating I’m about to give Fentimans Mandarin and Seville Orange Jigger.  This is a wonderful beverage that I think everyone should try.  The folks at Fentimans have my respect for creating it and all of the amazing changes that occur when you consume it.  All natural ingredients, a wonderful bottle, and of course one of my favorite caps of all times should make for a great score, but it doesn’t.  This is one of the times that I honestly think my opinion of this beverage is too low, but I can’t change how it tastes in my mouth so the score will also be lower than I think it deserves.  With that said, give it a shot.  Perhaps your taste buds will appreciate what mine could not.

~A

 

Faygo Vanilla Creme

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It’s late at night and I want to get a review done before bed, but I don’t want to drink anything that’ll keep me up too late.  So I reach into the fridge and let my hand pick out a beverage for me.  My hand apparently wants to stay up late.  I’ll give you the proper amount of time to make any dirty joke you like.  Done being immature?  Let’s move on.  So my hand picked out the super sugary beverage known as cream soda.  To be more specific it picked out a Faygo Vanilla Crème, which is just Faygo Cream Soda.  Faygo is something that was introduced to me much later in life… meaning this year.  I’m finding out that the classic look of the bottle ramps up my expectations of the soda.  Then after trying said Faygo soda my expectations become grounded and much closer to reality.  Let’s see if Faygo Vanilla Crème can keep my head in the clouds.

A very pungent vanilla aroma lurches out of the crystal clear bottle.  Speaking of clear, this is the clearest cream soda I’ve seen to date.  It looks like a bottle of water which kind of excites me for my soda drinking experience.  Perhaps my memory of Crystal Pepsi is clouding my judgment, but anytime I see a clear beverage that’s not normally clear I freak out a little bit… in a good way.

Crystal Twist was on the market for a hot second, but a law suit was immediately filed.

Wow, that is quite nice.  The extra carbonation surprised me at first, but since it was chased with a very smooth, very vanilla cream soda afterwards the contradicting mouth feels worked well together.  Ooh, I really like this.  My statement about Faygo letting me down does not apply to Faygo Vanilla Crème.  There is a sweetness you’d expect with a cream soda here, but it really pushes the boundary of too sweet.  The only way I dock points for the sweetness of Faygo Vanilla Crème is if it builds on itself in such a way that I can’t stand to drink it anymore.  Honestly though I think the burst of carbonation I experience at the beginning of each sip keeps the sugar from taking my tongue hostage.  Vanilla flavor lingers in all the crevasses of my mouth, but it’s not a negative sensation at all.  It is a little syrupy, but vanilla cream is one of those flavors that’s hard to keep crisp.

I’m about halfway done with the bottle and the flavor hasn’t really built upon itself that much.  This allows me to experience each sip I take much like it was my first.  Sure some of the initial magic is gone, but each sip is a pleasant one.  Well done Faygo, I doff my cap to you.  You’ve made a great cream soda with a sugar sweetener.  Yes the sweetness builds a little, but I think we’ll live.  This will probably get lower than you think it should by reading the review, but all in all it’s just a great cream soda.   Cream sodas have a hard time standing out in front of other sodas because they all taste so very similar to one another.  Don’t get me wrong though, this is one of the better ones, it’s just not a mind blowingly awesome soda.

~A

 

RootJack

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The folks at RootJack told the folks at ThirstMonger to tell me to drink RootJack without ice at an extremely cold temperature…purple monkey dishwasher.  I’m pretty sure the part about the purple monkey dishwasher was something added along the line, but needless to say I was quite pleased to see a beverage company tell me to stay away from ice.  So for a week this bottle of RootJack, Orange Flavored Root Beer, sat at the back of my fridge chilling.  Everytime I’d open the door I’d want to reach in and drink it, but I couldn’t… I must wait.  How does one keep oneself from drinking such an ususual product?  Orange flavored Root Beer, I’d never heard of such a thing, but my mind tells me it should work.  Looking at the label I’m happy to see that RootJack is sweetened with sugar and also contains a bit of guarana seed extract for energy.  This fun hybrid of flavors also has 100% of the vitamin C I need in a day, to fight scurvy of course.  With that said, it’s time for me to crack open this bottle and set sail for nowheres in particulars.

The scent that rises from the depths of Davy Jones locker is root beer heavy with a hint of the orange promised on the front of the bottle.  Do you know what a pirate’s favorite letter is?  You probably think it’s RRRRRRR, but he truly lives for the C.  Moving on.

TWist is better known at the Dread Pirate Roberts.

That is super bizarre.  Wow.  The first few glugs were just straight root beer, but then the citrus took hold of my taste buds and punched them square in the jaw.  The hint of orange the aroma spoke about was just the tip of the krackens tentacle.  I thought that RootJack would be root beer with a hint of orange.  I thought wrong as each sip starts off like calm day at sea; just enjoying a root beer with my swabbies, then the orange whale throws itself on board looking for Ahab.  It’s really confusing for my mouth and brain.  Each is frantically trying to figure out if it’s ok with this mixture of worlds. 

The sweetness level of RootJack is just right as I would have no problem drinking this with a meal.  While the flavor is wild, I still feel like it could pair well with your standard fare of hamburgers and hotdogs without taking away anything from them.  I’m also seeing why they wanted me to drink this cold.  The orange flavor could come off as offending to some if this was room temperature.  Even the bottle tells you to “Serve Cold”.  When’s the last time you saw another soda tell you the obvious? 

As the soda bottle empties the orange flavor becomes a bit more bitter, but not enough to turn me away from finishing it off.  Now that I have a proper place to put my message written on parchment, I’ll give you my final thoughts.  RootJack is truly a unique beverage from start to finish.  The mixture of two common flavors may confuse the mind to the point of not knowing if what you’re ingesting is something you like or not, but once you get your mind right you’ll find you wish you had another.  I’ve gotta hand it  to RootJack for taking a chance and setting themselves apart from the rest of the sodas out there.  The flavor combo was a little too combative for my tastes, but I still want to recommend that you buy multiples if just for giving some to your friends.

~A

Something Natural - Strawberry Peach

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ThirstMonger has once again sent me a beverage for review and it comes in the prettiest little bottle I’ve ever seen.  Something Natural Strawberry Peach is a sparkling water that comes in a shapely blue bottle and includes a friendly looking bird.  If I had to guess, I’d say the bird is a sparrow, wren, or finch, but then again I’m no ornithologist.  With a quick glance at the ingredients I notice that Something Natural lives up to its name with completely natural ingredients.  The sweetener is a double act of cane sugar and stevia which is a show I’ve seen delivered with success.  Just looking at this bottle is brining my mind a bit of peace after a long day of work.  I may keep this one for the collection, but not before reviewing it of course.

I picked the strawberry peach flavor because it seemed that would translate better for sparkling water than the other flavor I had at my disposal, black cherry.  Once I cracked the bottle open I was surprised to get as strong of an aroma as I did.  Both the strawberry and peach scents went straight to my olfactory glands and made their presence known.  Perhaps this sparkling water will be more soda like than I first anticipated.

Twist apologizes for the fuzziness of this picture

Something Natural Strawberry Peach really is a calming beverage.  Holding the bottle and drinking from it almost feels vacationesque and the flavor you get is quite nice as well.  Without consulting my site I can tell you immediately that this is the one of the best sparkling waters I’ve ever had.  The strawberry peach flavor is true and unwavering with peach being the lead in the play.  The stevia’s known aftertaste is lost amongst the carbonation and cane sugar.  It’s not a sugary beverage by any means, but it’s sweeter than most other sparkling waters I’ve had.  My biggest criticism will come from the aftertaste and it’s hard to single out Something Natural in this instance.  All sparkling waters have a dry, somewhat bitter aftertaste to me that nudges me out of the experience.  Now I’m sure many look forward to this aftertaste, but I’m not one of those people.  Something Natural Strawberry Peach does indeed have this same dry, bitter aftertaste that I’d rather it not have, but it’s what I’m working with.

All in all though, Something Natural is a solid beverage with good flavor presentation and a great ingredient list.  If you’re into sparkling waters I bet you’d love it.  Now if sparkling water isn’t your thing, I’d still probably give this a try to make sure your opinion is validated.

~A

Flathead Lake Black Raspberry

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Montana’s Legendary Soda, Flathead Lake, is known around the parts as almost being an above average soda.  For whatever reasons it never seems to be able to touch that rung of the latter and ends up falling off before it can achieve greatness.  Today’s Flathead Lake soda flavor is black raspberry.  I’m quite happy with this flavor selection as it is the superior taste when compared to its fake blue counterpart.  So there you have it.  Flathead Lake soda is average, but this flavor is one of my favorites.  Who will win out?

There's some kind of copyright infringement here, but I'm not sure who the guilty party is.

A delicious candy grape aroma rises from the bottle, which is odd since it’s a blackberry soda.  If I pretend hard enough I can make myself believe that I also smell the blackberry, but I can’t.  Hopefully I’ll be able to taste it.

Ok, so the taste is a bit grapey as well.  I’m going to go ahead and promise never to use the term “grapey” ever again.  Let’s move on, shall we?  Thankfully the second half of my experience does indeed taste like an artificially delicious black raspberry full of sugar and chemicals.  Still though, if someone were to give me this soda in a glass I’d assume it was grape, that can’t be good for the Flathead Lake flavor department.  Even though the flavor is mostly wrong it’s still a very tasty soda and the blackberry aftertaste is rather pleasant.  If anything I might label this as a grape/raspberry hybrid and go from there.  The carbonation level for this confused liquid is small, but tingly so it never really gets in the way.  All 43 grams of sugar are accounted for as you’d never mistake this for something healthy.  This level of sweetness makes Flathead Lake Black Raspberry ride the line of “drink with meal” and “drink for dessert”.  Flavor confusion aside this is probably my favorite entry from Flathead Lake.  Great job, guys!

~A

 

Squamscot Maple Cream

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This beverage is not invisible, we're just getting back into the swing of things.  Liquid will be present next time. 

Do you guys even type reviews anymore?  Yes, yes we do, but what we review on our weekly popcast doesn't get written down.  I'll tell you the ranking, but if you need some more details, or at least some white noise to fall asleep to, I'd check out the link below. 

Aaron's Verdict - Buy a Pack

Mike's Verdict - Buy a Bottle

~A

TheSodaJerks.net Popcast Episode 36 - Squamscot Maple Cream

Nawgan Lemonade

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I’ve had energy drinks, sleepy time drinks, “sexual prowess” drinks, and many other life style beverages.  The folks at ThirstMonger have sent me an “alertness beverage” to try.  That’s a first.  Now I know you’re probably thinking that an alertness beverage is just a fancy name for an energy drink and you’re right, but it’s the first time I’ve seen it called as such, and I approve.  The name of the alertness beverage is Nawgan and its flavor is Lemonade.  The Nawgan logo is a brain which leads me to believe that Nawgan is just a fancy spelling of noggin.  You know, like the Nick Jr. successor.  Nawgan has zero calories, vitamins B and E, and a host of chemicals that will hopefully make this taste like a delicious glass of lemonade.  Let’s find out together shall we?

This can of Nawgan has the most satisfying “CRACK” open noise I’ve ever heard.  Good lord that was loud and made me want to instantly start chugging it.  Lemons jumped out of this newly created hole and punched me in the nose.  The scent is strong.  There I said it two different ways.  I’m rather excited to try this now.  I find it odd how a sound that has nothing to do with the flavor excites me to what the drink might taste like. 

Twist completed the brain maze in only 2 hours.

Nawgan is non-carbonated and for being zero calories, has a pretty good lemon taste to it.  The initial sip does have a bit of a chemical feel, but it’s quickly washed away by the somewhat sweet lemon flavoring.  By itself Nawgan could fool you into thinking it is indeed lemonade.  If you were to compare it side by side with the real deal you’d probably find the real thing to be a bit stronger.  It has a very light mouth feel, but a noticeable lemon aftertaste that I don’t mind experiencing again and again.  Nawgan lemonade is a really easy drink to chug, which I would expect is something that you would want to do if you needed to get that jolt of energy as quickly as possible. 

WHAT?!  I just looked on the can and this has Stevia in it?!  I never would have guessed.  Great job covering up the aftertaste that usually leaves.  Wow, stevia done right.  It happens so infrequently.

For being a lemonade “alertness beverage”, Nawgan does a great job.  It’s easy to drink, the flavor is enjoyable, and I could see myself purchasing multiples of this.  It’s not going to replace lemonade, but at this point I’m pretty sure nothing is.  Nawgan Lemonade is one of the tastier energy drinks by far.

~A

Sof Drink Grape

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It has been three years since the kool kat on the Sof Drink label has visited my home.  Today this Jamaican feline finds himself on a bottle of Sof Drink Grape and I’m happy to see him.  I just got through traipsing around a cemetery so I’m a bit thirsty from all the walking.  Thankfully my tongue knew exactly what it wanted when I opened the fridge.  It wanted to be reunited with grape soda and the kool kat was the perfect door man for the job.  Even though Sof Drink Grape claims to have the original Jamaican flavor (of what I’m not sure) it still uses HFCS in its production.  Currently I’m a bit too thirsty to care and while I should be drinking water to quench this thirst my willpower isn’t strong enough to do so.  So let me dive into this grape soda and see what happens.

A grape soda without any real scent… that’s a first.  At least I think that’s a first, I didn’t really feel like researching the previous sentence so I suggest you just trust me on it.  If I place one nostril over the mouth of the bottle and inhale deeply I begin to smell a candy grape aroma, but it really is quite faint.  Something tells me the flavor will be much more powerful.

Twist things this drink is grape.

Well that’s fun.  Sof Drink Grape tastes like a melted grape popsicle with some added carbonation.  I could honestly stop writing the review at this point, but only one sentence of description might not look so hot.  It’s a very thick grape soda in the fact that it grabs hold of all the pores of my mouth and refuses to let go.  Even after the velvet curtain of syrup falls the actors on the stage stay there to be crushed under its weight.  The carbonation is the only thing keeping this beverage from being an Otter Pop that never found the freezer.  Alexander the Grape has been poured into a bottle and someone ruffled his hair up a little.  While this aspect makes it a very sweet drink it’s not so sugary that your question if you should continue consumption with each sip. 

I’ve already made the popsicle comparison twice now which shows that I really didn’t have any more in my sleeve.  This shows me that I should just stop and you just trust that the comparison is all you need to understand what Sof Drink Grape is.  It’s a tasty, thick, grape soda that tastes like a popsicle.  There I go again.

~A

 

 

Cock ‘n Bull Ginger Beer

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Twist consumed this and vanished.

Ever feel ripped off when you look up a review of a soda?  You probably will now.  Cock n Bull Ginger Beer was reviewed on TheSodaJerks.net Popcast Episode 34.  I'll tell you the rating here, but if you want the delicious descriptions you'll have to listen. 

~A

TheSodaJerks.net Popcast Episode 34 - Cock n Bull Ginger Beer

 

Barrel Brothers Root Beer

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Two guys dressed in barrels pose for a caricature of themselves.  Apparently they loved it so much they decided the picture would look great on a bottle of root beer.  These two guys I’m speaking of are the Barrel Brothers, and I will be consuming their soda today.  The label gives me no history of Barrel Brothers Root Beer, but it does tell me that this is from the makers of Apple Beer.  Apple Beer if you remember had the potential to be amazing, but faltered.  Here’s hoping the Barrel Brothers, Mac and Jack (two names I made up), do themselves proud with their product.  It’s a HFCS sweetened root beer so it’s not off to a great start in that department, although that doesn’t mean the taste can’t overcome the ingredients.

Twist was once a brother, but there could be only one.

A pleasant vanilla aroma with a hint of marshmallow rises from the bottle.  I’m quickly forgetting I ever saw HFCS on the label at all.  Perhaps the taste will completely wash that memory away.

That’s good root beer.  That’s really good root beer.  The scent translates directly into the taste as each sip is smothered with the smooth sensation of vanilla.  The vanilla flavor is so rich that it made me forget I was drinking a root beer for a brief moment.  At the end of each sip though the root beer rises from the foamy grave and grasps at the roof of my mouth, biting it with carbonation and a tasty root beer taste.  Barrel Brothers Root Beer would pair very well with ice cream as the licorice/wintergreen flavors you might find in other root beers are absent.  This is strictly about the vanilla, almost marshmallow, sensations mixed with an already good root beer.  It doesn’t build on itself that much which is surprising to me given the richness of it.  If I must pick nits about this soda there is a slight chemical taste that arises occasionally, but it’s not enough for me to shoo anyone away.  All in all, Barrel Brothers Root Beer is a treat that any root beer enthusiast would enjoy.  No, it’s not made from the greatest ingredients, but the flavor more than makes up for it.

~A