Gross Gus's Pirate Piss

/

Well those two lovely ladies, Alice and Diane, have saddled me with a bevy of terribly named sodas once again.  The first and least repulsive sounding of the four is a bottle of Pirate Piss.  How this is the least disgusting of the group will only be revealed in time.  For now I find it important to tell you that the actual flavor of this beverage is not Pirate Piss.  I’m sure several of you are taken aback that this bottle isn’t full of scurvy urine.  Thankfully the side of the bottle lets me know that this is indeed banana soda sweetened with sugar and a host of chemicals.  For realism purposes though they really did a great job on getting a dark urine color for the soda.  Moving on.

Twist will never know the satisfaction of an empty bladder

Twist will never know the satisfaction of an empty bladder

Pirate Piss has a banana scent that is fainter than I originally expected.  I assumed that if you’re going to have an outrageous name it would be backed up by an outrageous experience.  Honestly, they shouldn’t be faulted too much as banana doesn’t carry a strong aroma in the wild either.  Perhaps the taste will be the difference maker.

The carbonation within Gross Gus’s Pirate Piss is powerful.  Stinging bubbles rush at my lips and tongue, diverting my attention from the flavor with their abundance.  Bananas, to me, illicit a smooth sensation in the flavor department.  I never think of a banana flavored anything giving me reason for recoil due to mouth feel alone.  Once the over the top fizz goes away I’m left with a banana flavor that favors candy and not fruit.  This does not surprise me in the slightest.  Thankfully this candy banana taste isn’t overly sweet which allows me to go back for repeat swigs without being overpowered by sugar, something I do not think would be possible if this was sweetened with HFCS.  If you like banana sweets you’ll probably like Pirate Piss.  On the other hand, if you’re not on the banana train then you should probably steer clear of this soda.

Gross Gus’s Pirate Piss is a banana soda that is ultimately average in its delivery.  The good portions of this soda are buried so far within a carbonated curtain that they never truly have the chance to shine.

~A

Empire Bottling Works Spruce Beer

/

Spruce Beer, would you try it?  I’m about to, but I’m quite uncertain what it will taste like.  Empire Bottling Works makes this particular Spruce Beer although I’ve never seen another on the market.  A look at the ingredients isn’t much help either.  Carbonated natural artesian spring water (really?), 100% cane sugar, extract flavor, citric acid, and sodium benzoate (yum yum) are what make up Spruce Beer.  You know what might have been helpful?  They could make the listing of “extract flavor” more than just a legal requirement if they told us exactly what it was an extract of.  Personally, I hope the extract is spruce.  I hope I’m about to enjoy a tree soda.

The stains on the label are sadly not part of the art.  In shipping a root beer was lost to the pressures of claustrophobia. 

The stains on the label are sadly not part of the art.  In shipping a root beer was lost to the pressures of claustrophobia. 

This smells like tree soda, manly candles, and Vicks VapoRub.  I don’t want to drink it.  My hesitation is due to the fact that I never want to stop smelling it.  Granted I could just grab some Vicks out of my medicine cabinet, but it wouldn’t be the same.  Sigh… no use in stalling.  Time to try this truly uniquely scented soda.

As putrid as this tastes I’m laughing.  All of those aromas listed in the previous paragraph… this is liquid THAT.  Each sip is like a loved one rubbing Vicks VapoRub on my chest then on my tongue.  If you’re unfamiliar with Vicks (which needs to be remedied if true) then just replace every instance of Vicks with PineSol… minus the lemon scent.  The initial taste of Empire Bottling Works isn’t that bad, but it rapidly falls into a “Do Not Buy” spiral of taste. 

I don’t want any more of this.  It’s like this soda answered some unasked question of what would tree soda taste like.  Some pinesap, needles, and carbonated water would do in a pinch to replicate the sensation.  As unusual as this is I can’t suggest you try it.  I’m happy Spruce Beer exists in the world I live in because it truly shows innovention, but dear me it is terrible.

~A

Sodafruit Pashun Froot Soda

/

If a bottle of soda could talk then this bottle in front of me would have an epic tale.  It started in New Zealand and boarded a wooden box with three of its friends.  This wooden box toured the world for about a month and a half before arriving at my doorstep.  Who knows what adventures it had out on the open seas, gallivanting with pirates and the like.  Upon opening said wooden box I was happy to see my new friend, a bottle of Sodafruit Pashun Froot Soda.  A particularly fun name that allows you to say the words in reverse order and still have the same beverage.  Exciting to try this new (not on the market yet) soda from Sodafruit I has no hesitation that I’d love it.  Then I saw the seeds. 

The seeds of a passion fruit are obvious especially when they reside in a delightful orange soda.  They look like a smaller version of a watermelon seed measuring about ¼ of an inch in length.  I asked the CEO of Sodafruit about this off putting look and he assured me that the best flavor he can make with a passion fruit involves the seeds.  Not being a soda maker I must trust this judgment, but I still researched it.  Passion fruit seeds are incredibly good for you, so while my tentativeness still lingers my fear of death has quelled. 

Why should I worry?  Why should I care?  This is from Sodafruit, one of my favorite makers of soda products.  They’ve never steered me wrong before, why would it now?  The ingredients listed are Carbonated Water, Cane Sugar, Passion Fruit Pulp, Lemon Juice, Spices, and a preservative that keeps it from fermenting.  See, nothing to worry about.

Interestingly enough I have no personal knowledge of the singled out flavor of a passion fruit.  A quick look into our database shows me I’ve never even had a passion fruit soda.  I’ve had sodas that use passion fruit in combination, but never just a passion fruit.  The time is ripe to try one.

Since there is a fair amount of pulp and seeds involved with this beverage I’m going to upend it prior to opening.  WOW, it’s like the tropics punched me in the nose.  An overwhelming aroma of passion fruit charges from the mouth of the bottle.  Immediately inviting my taste buds to the party it’s holding inside.  There’s no reason that I should show up fashionably late to this soiree.

Oddly enough, Twist isn't the seediest character in this picture

Oddly enough, Twist isn't the seediest character in this picture

It’s like I’m biting into a fruit.  Since I’ve never had a passion fruit I can only assume this is what one tastes like.  When “passion fruit pulp” pulp is your third ingredient it’s a safe bet your soda tastes like passion fruit.  Flavor aside, it’s the reaction this has with my mouth and the feel of the beverage that is reminding me of enjoying a tropical fruit.  A dash of carbonation adds to the citrusy punch of the added lemon juice.  This zesty sensation keeps the soda from feeling too heavy or syrupy, allowing you to go back for more without it feeling overly heavy.

 As far as the seeds are concerned, the majority of them are content to sit plainly at the bottom of the bottle.  Occasionally one swims up to go on its last hurrah and it’s at this point I’m not sure if I could chew them or just swallow them whole.   Swallowing them whole seems to be the best bet for me, but if you decided to chew that wouldn’t create an issue for you either.  Now that I’m nearing the bottom of the bottle the seed to liquid ratio is tilting toward heavy seed.  This caused the mouth feel of my last sip to be a bit bumpy, which I could definitely see being off putting for some.

Now here’s where I ask myself would I rather a lower quality passion fruit soda if it meant taking out the seeds?  No, I wouldn’t.  Sodafruit Pashun Froot Soda may be a bit off putting to look at, but it’s excellent in all aspects.  Perhaps a few less seeds would bump up the score to perfection, but like I said earlier… it’s a work in progress.

~A

This soda provided to us by Sodafruit

Canada Dry Hot

/

So normally I'd just link you to Episode 46 - The Popcast Spectacular and call it a day, but we spent nearly $10 on this 3oz can so I figured it was worth giving a written review to.  Actually YOU spent nearly $10 on this can because we bought it with your donations!  Thank you so very much for donating so that we can review international beverages such as this!

Just so you're aware this review was written after we recorded the Podcast, but is written using my memory of the situation.  The rating used will by mine (Aaron) and everything below this paragraph will be accurate to my initial opinions of the soda at hand.

I think what called us to Canada Dry Hot other than the fact that it's a Japanese soda, is that it seems like a really good idea from the get go.  Hot ginger ale just works well within the logical portions of my mind.  The fact that Coke did a ton of research to allow cans to be heated without issue makes me believe that there was a market that agreed with my mind.  The last time a market agreed with my mind we got burnable CD's and I think we all know how successful that is.  Oh, you didn't know I invented that technology?  Well I didn't, but as a kid I had the idea so that counts for something... be it less than .001%.  

This isn't the time to talk about what could have been, it's the time to talk about what's in front of me.  I have a tiny can of soda with Japanese writing all over it.  All I know is that this can contains Canada Dry Hot Ginger Ale.  To prepare this liquid within this can for consumption we've taken a few steps.  Normally there would be a heated vending machine on the street and we'd just pick out what we wanted and drink it.  Since "normally" is in Japan we're going to have to heat this up through our own methods.  We got a pot of water boiling on the stove and we're going to remove it from its heat source.  Now we shall place the can in the heated water until we become too nervous to let it sit any longer.  Perhaps we'll drape a towel over it as well because we're terrified.  

As we're waiting I'm in a permanent flinch phase.  I know that Coke has designed these cans to be heated, but my brain still finds this to be so out of the ordinary it's worried.  Ok, ten minutes seems good.  Removing the can with a pair of tongs we're ready to crack 'er open, but need a pair of gloves to do so because of the heat coming off the can.  It's incredibly weird seeing steam come out of a soda can as I pour it into this mug.

The aroma that I'm experiencing is wonderful.  It smells like a light apple cider and makes me wish for a few more weeks of winter.  When I'm greeted with a bouquet like this I often pretend I'm in the comic strip Calvin and Hobbes.  Their winters always seemed to be so much fun and I could almost feel the warmth of the fireplace.  Sadly though I only have this mug to enjoy, so I best get to enjoying it.

It's always a treat when the aroma accurately represents the taste.  Science probably says it should happen more often than not, but to me it seems to be about a 50/50 shot.  For the record our heating time and method worked flawlessly.  This is a fantastic sipping temperature and I wouldn't change a thing about it.  Each tiny sip I'm taking is filled the same light apple flavor I inhaled.  The spices used coat the back of my throat causing the slightest of burns, but adding to the overall effect of the beverage.  Only when I pull the can away does the ginger ale make itself known and it does indeed taste like a hot Canada Dry.  Thankfully the initial flavors seep into every second of my drinking experience, improving even the aftertaste.  Placing my face over the mouth of the mug builds a smile on my face and an anticipation of what is to come.  Another sip taken takes me on the same winding path of apple, spice, and finally ginger ale.  It's a combination that would be difficult to find error in as it creates its own nostalgia for a beverage I've never had before.  

While the carbonation seemed plentiful at the pour, like the world in The Neverending Story it has all but disappeared.  We're left with a single grain of sand to rebuild from and that is plenty considering what it has to work with.  

Canada Dry Hot will probably go down as the highest rated big name soda we've tried to date.  Would I spend $10 more dollars to get a second can?  I  might, but that's still nonsensically expensive for what it is.  Hopefully one day this product will make its way to America or at least become cheaper to get our hands on.

~A

Your donations brought us this beverage

So much Japanese

So much Japanese

Pure Sodaworks Hibiscus Lemon

/

I’ve never been one to drink flowers.  This is why I’ve saved the Pure Sodaworks Hibiscus Lemon for last.  Honestly I’m afraid I’ll hate.  Let’s see if I can guess what’s in it before I look at the ingredients.

The Soda Jerk’s Guess:  Sparkling Water, Pure Cane Sugar, Hibiscus, Lemon Juice.

Actual Ingredients:  Sparkling Water, Pure Cane Sugar, Hibiscus Flowers, Lemon Peel.

I feel I did pretty well, but I’m surprised to see this only contains lemon peel.  Perhaps the hibiscus flavor that I am so very unsure of will finally win me over in this form.  The soda is a pleasant rose color and WOW there is a bonkers amount of sediment in this bottle.  Ah well, when in Houston.

This smells not unlike a fruity tea with a squeeze of lemon.  With a deep inhalation I also get a flowery scent that while pleasant to the nose worries the mouth.  A little worry never did me any favors, so I feel it’s time to drink.

Now if it were dandelion lime...

Now if it were dandelion lime...

It’s like I’m drinking an all-natural ginger ale while walking through a rose garden.  The sweet aroma coming from the pedals mixes with the flavors within my mouth.  A second sip reveals that Hibiscus Lemon starts to stack on itself quickly.  Another visit sweetens the taste and brings out the hibiscus even more.  It still reminds me of a ginger ale, but that memory is quickly fading… fading… gone.  The confusing sensation of consuming the scent of a flower is now at the forefront.  I don’t exactly enjoy the taste I’m living, but I’m happy to see a legitimate hibiscus soda.

Each time I stop drinking to write my lips develop the flavor of a fruit tea.  It seems the scent I initially identified was also present in the flavor.  The lemon peel is hardly noticed and if I didn’t see the words on the label I wouldn’t even know it was there. 

Sigh.  I can tell this was masterfully made, but hibiscus flavored soda just isn’t for me.  Fruit flavored teas are a favorite of mine, but that’s only a sliver of the flavors I’m experiencing.  I’m afraid my writing skills have failed me in trying to describe this sensation, but I don’t hesitate to tell you that I think you should try it for yourself.  Perhaps just a bottle to start.

~A

 

This soda was provided to us by Pure Sodaworks

Pure Sodaworks Cafe Cola

/
Today's use of "sapid" brought to you by Thesaurus.com

Today's use of "sapid" brought to you by Thesaurus.com

Pure Sodaworks Strawberry Jalapeno has both strawberries and jalapenos in the ingredients.  Pure Sodaworks Honey Lime has both honey and lime in the ingredients.  This begs the question, what does Pure Sodaworks Café Cola have in it?  We know they’ll be using 100% natural ingredients, but what are they?  Why aren’t I reading the ingredients right now since the bottle simply sits inches away?  Ok, I’ve tortured myself enough.  Here is what makes up a bottle of Pure Sodaworks Café Cola:  Sparkling Water, Pure Cane Sugar, Orange Juice, Lemon Juice, Lime Juice, Herbs and Spices, Caramel Color (from cane sugar), Espresso, and Citric Acid.  So while that may be a bit more complicated than “Honey + Lime = Soda”, you can’t deny that doesn’t include anything you couldn’t easily find at your local grocer.  Perhaps some of the “herbs and spices” would be difficult, but for the sake of this review let’s pretend they’re there too and move on.

Something that struck me as odd is that this is cola seems overly dark in color, so dark that when I shine a flashlight up from the bottom of the bottle the light doesn’t make it all the way to the top.  You haven’t heard of this time tested test of soda color?  This isn’t something I’m going to start doing “on the reg”, but I figured in this case it’d be kinda fun.  Sorry to have wasted your time, I guess I’ll just open it now.

Wow, the spices used are quite pungent.  It’s like I have a basket of cola potpourri and next to me and why wouldn’t I?  I like the finer things in life too.  Cola potpourri, Dr Pepper Febreeze, root beer candles… you know, the norm.  Time for a drink.

I’m somewhat thankful that the spice isn’t as noticed in the taste as it is the smell.  My tongue is greeted with a strong cola flavor that lacks the bite that so many of us are used too in our Coca-Cola brand Cokes.  What fills this void of harshness is the smooth sensation of cola made sharp only by the carbonation that dances around it.  It’s not so sweet that you couldn’t enjoy it with a meal, but it does seem a touch more sugary than what you might be expecting.

If this were the end of the experience I’d say Pure Sodaworks Café Cola was an above average cola that I was happy to try, then I’d go about my day.  Thankfully this is not the case.  The espresso included sets Café Cola even further ahead of the pack by giving the final moments of each sip as well as the aftertaste a roasted coffee flavor.  I personally hate the taste of coffee, but I absolutely love the way it smells.  Pure Sodaworks Café Cola transmogrifies the scent of coffee into a taste and lets it run slightly behind the lead horse named Cola.  This roasted bean makes all the difference in the world making this beverage quite sapid.  Drink this cola if you like colas.  Drink this cola if you like coffee.  Drink this cola if you like sodas.  Drink this cola.

~A  

This beverage supplied to us by Pure Sodaworks

thesodajerk_SK08aA02a.png

A “Twist’s Choice” Recipient

Pure Sodaworks Honey Lime

/
Honey Lime was Twist's stripper name

Honey Lime was Twist's stripper name

So, Pure Sodaworks seems to be on a winning streak here with their soda creations.  Root beer started off strong before developing a tea flavor.  Strawberry Jalapeno and Apple Pie where both fantastically awesome!  Today I’ve got a bottle of Honey Lime in front of me and I can only assume it too will be delightful.  By now I’m sure you can guess the ingredients, but it’s so much fun to write them out so here we go:  Sparkling water, Honey, Pure Cane Sugar, Lime Juice, Citric Acid.  I don’t think I’ll ever tire of listing great ingredients.  I’m particularly excited about the sediment in this bottle.  I can only hope that it’s bits of lime, but whatever it might be I trust they made a great soda.  Let’s find out for sure though, shall we?

Honey is used in a lot of the craft sodas I’ve tasted, but I’ve never been able to so easily identify its use by smell alone.  The aroma is sweet with a lime chaser.  Quite the opposite of what I figured would be wafting out of the mouth of this bottle.  Curse you, Pure Sodaworks!  Why must you constantly impress me?  Making these reviews seem like walking advertisements!

That is honey. That is lime.  The immediate flavor that hits my tongue is the sweet, velvety, greatness of honey.  The scene that follows is a lot like a photographer dealing with a star’s body guard.  Honey is quickly escorted to safety by Lime.  Out of the reaches of my taste buds… I mean Bud the photographer.  After Honey is safely hidden away Lime punches Bud in the face, creating a burst of flavor and a broken nose.  Seeing that her bodyguard Lime is attacking Bud (and not wanting a bad PR storm), Honey springs from the car and attempts to pull Lime away.  What ends up happening is that the three of them fall to the ground in a heap.  Bud is still being attacked by Lime, but Honey’s presence has certainly softened the situation up a bit.  Now the harsh hits of Lime don’t seem so bad.  Slowly the camera pulls away from the scene revealing the bitter Lime and the inviting Honey tussled upon the ground.

That’s an overly fancy way of saying that while the real deal honey flavor is immediately what you experience, lime quickly takes over for a brief moment.  Eventually the two flavors come together, complementing one another with their differences. 

I must say that while I love everything about this beverage, I’m not blown away by the taste.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s great.  I just don’t see myself wanting to come back for more as often as I would with the Strawberry Jalapeno or the Apple Pie… oh goodness the Apple Pie.  With that said this should definitely be tried, so get to it.

~A

This soda was provided to us by Pure Sodaworks

Pure Sodaworks Apple Pie

/

Sweet, sweet, sediment.

One of the first sodas that truly amazed me was Reeds Spiced Apple Brew.  My fragile mind could not fathom that a soda could have the aftertaste of apple pie.  It was only until I tasted Soda Fruit Apple Crumble did I realize this fantastic flavor could even be replicated.  With those two companies excelling in the accomplishment of apple pie flavored sodas, I must say that Pure Sodaworks has their work cut out for them.  Pure Sodaworks Apple Pie is only going against two sodas, but those two sodas are both in my all-time top 5.  Best of luck guys, but your ingredient list of sparkling water, apple cider, pure cane sugar, cinnamon and vanilla allows me to think you’ve got a chance.

That smells like apple pie.  It doesn’t smell like apple pie soda, it smells like apple pie.  At this point I’m almost positive that I’m in for another treat.  Apple Pie soda is a rarity.  Technically Reeds Spiced Apple Brew is not one, but I consider it one due to its aftertaste.  I think the trifecta of apple pie soda is about to complete with my first sip.  Please don’t make a liar out of my imagination Pure Sodaworks.  Please don’t disappoint me.

I love you Pure Sodaworks.  I love your apple pie soda… at least that’s my initial reaction.  What impresses me the most is how true the apple flavor is to what you’d find in an apple pie.  The caramel apples buried beneath the crust are mirrored in taste within this bottle.  Light carbonation dances about in the background as it’s pleased to be playing second fiddle to the taste at hand.  A finale features the initial players of Apple, Cinnamon, and Sugar, but another actor has appeared on the stage.  Vanilla.  She hadn’t been present before, but now you can’t take your eyes off of her.  Gracefully she blends in to the rest of the company and it’s like she was there the whole time.  They all take a bow and you’re mouth is left empty.  Yet, you still have the memories of the performance and they’re not syrupy sweet.  They’re honest memories and you’ll tell your friends all about them.

That’s perhaps the “artsiest” review I’ve ever written, but who cares.  Pure Sodaworks Apple Pie is amazing and easily fills out the third spot in my Apple Pie Soda Trifecta.

~A

This soda supplied to us by Pure Sodaworks

thesodajerk_SK08aA02a.png

A “Twist’s Choice” Recipient

Pure Sodaworks Strawberry Jalapeno

/

The last soda I will drink in 2013 needs to be memorable.  It needs to be unique.  It needs to be flavored with strawberry AND jalapeno.  Luckily my oddly specific requirements have been met in Pure Sodaworks Strawberry Jalapeno soda.  Hey, you wanna know what’s in this soda?  Sparkling water, Pure Cane Sugar, Strawberries, and Jalapenos.  That’s beautiful.  The soda itself looks like you left your lucky red hat on the dashboard of your car for about 10 years; pink, but just barely.  I’m just too excited to type any longer.  This experience needs to begin right now.

Ok, I cheated a little bit, but it wasn’t my fault.  I gently upended the soda to get the sediment mixed and upon opening I had to stop the flow of fizz from going everywhere.  I got a bit of a taste, but it was just the foam.  Let’s just pretend it never happened, ok?  The smell is primarily that of the strawberry and it smells like a scratch and sniff sticker.  So light and inviting I can’t wait to actually test out the beverage.

Just as the scent lead me to believe the strawberry taste is great!  It’s not sugary nonsense (as so many strawberry sodas are) and the carbonation levels that accompany it are quite effervescent.  With each sip I take the jalapeno grows more confident as the flavor takes hold of my mouth.  The actual taste of jalapeno seems to be missing, but the heat you’d feel from one is certainly present.  I compare it to the burn of a ginger beer, but this heat lingers quite a bit longer. 

Twist wants me to find a new background.  I can't say I disagree with him.

The further down the bottle I go the more the flavor tilts in favor of the jalapeno.  Our friendly, funny, fizzy strawberry friend waves goodbye as he walks back home.  Meanwhile jalapeno starts to show his true personality as if he was afraid to be himself around strawberry.  Perhaps he has a crush on strawberry’s sister and didn’t want any negative word to travel her way.  Sadly, like most cases he really just should have been himself the whole time.  That way we could have seen exactly how well strawberry and jalapeno worked with one another.

It’s clear to me that when they made this soda they really had to complete a balancing act to get them just right.  Too little strawberry and you’d just end up with a weird tasting soda that burns your mouth.  Too little jalapeno and you reach a point why you’re adding it at all.  I think the folks at Pure Sodaworks did an excellent job with the balance of this soda.  It’s sweet, light enough to be quite refreshing, and overall a very unique experience to be had in the soda world. 

~A

This soda supplied to us by Pure Sodaworks

Pure Sodaworks Root Beer #4

/

A few weeks ago the fine folks at Pure Sodaworks sent me a six pack sampler of soda.  Thankfully, one of the most difficult decisions I make is which soda to drink first when I’ve never reviewed one from a particular brand.  The way I usually tackle this issue is to try their root beer or cola first.  It’s with those two flavors that the attention to detail can really be appreciated.  For instance, Pure Sodaworks has a Strawberry Jalapeno flavor that I’m dying to try.  That wacky flavor combination is already hyping up the brand for me, but I want to see what they can do with a flavor that everyone makes… root beer.  To be specific this is Root Beer #4, I have no idea why it’s Root Beer #4 it just is.

Looking at the coloration of the beverage it’s lighter than I’d think a root beer would be, but I do see some sediment at the bottom of the bottle so I’m excited about that.  Looking at the ingredients list I see that this contains Sparkling Water, Pure Cane Sugar, Molasses, Herbs and Spices, and Citric Acid.  That my friends is a 100% Natural Root Beer.  No sodium benzoate or artificial flavors to be found here.  Lighter color be darned, I’m ready to find out what made #4 so much better than numbers one through three.

I upend the bottle to swirl around the spices.  The scent that gently wafts from the mouth is one of the most unique root beer scents I’ve experienced to date.  It’s a root beer that smells like Christmas.  The aroma is something I would like to duplicate in a potpourri, but at the same time it’s pushing me to consume it as a rapid pace.  Since I don’t have the time for arts and crafts today, I guess I’ll just have to drink it.

I just typed two curse words and deleted them.  This is amazing root beer.  This is possibly the best first sip I’ve ever taken and I’m ready to go back for more.   Molasses seeps into each sip keeping me grounded in the fact that this is indeed a root beer and not just a hodge podge of spice and flavor.  What I can only assume is ginger swirls about and creates the lightest of burns with each sip taken.  It’s just enough to keep my mouth alive and aware of what’s happening.  The more I drink it though the harder the molasses has to work as the initial root beer flavoring is vanishing as all the other flavors present begin to build on one another.  This tastes less and less like a root beer and more like sweet spiced tea.  How is this metamorphosis even possible?  I guess if a caterpillar can become a butterfly then root beer to tea isn’t that much of a stretch.

Twist is baffled... at least I think he is.

We’ve reached an odd point in the review.  I’ve never had a root beer transform into tea about halfway through the bottle.  Within my last few sips I couldn’t even recognize that it was a root beer at all. Even the aftertaste is that of spiced tea… so very bizarre. 

While it was playing the role of Root Beer #4 the flavors were both unique and familiar.  The carbonation was at just the right level of fun and the whole thing seemed like it was destined for our highest rating.  Then the breakdown occurred.   A blurry line stood between root beer and spiced tea, with the latter taking out the former with the skill of an assassin.  I don’t know how that happened, but the drink was good.  Confusing, but still very good.  With that said I definitely recommend this to all.  You’ll taste a beverage unlike any other and you’ll be a better person for it.

~A

This soda supplied to us by Pure Sodaworks

JOIA Blackberry Pomegranate & Ginger

/

For the time being (and it will be a short time) I’ve run out of my own stuff to review.  Thankfully the folks at ThirstMonger have kept me well stocked with other beverages, namely Joia.  We’ve reviewed a Joia flavor before and at the time I was rather impressed with their flavor selection.  Today’s offering deserves the same praise as the flavor listed is Blackberry, Pomegranate and Ginger.  In case you’ve forgotten, Joia is an all-natural soda sweetened with pure cane sugar and erythritol which is a natural sweetener.  Blackberry, pomegranate, ginger, and elderflower are all listed as ingredients as well, so I’m feeling pretty good about what I’m about to consume.  The healthy cranberry red color is also quite pleasing to the eye.  Enough chittering, time to crack this bottle open.

The aroma that comes off the top is not unlike a rose.  There is a sweet, flowery smell, that if huffed a bit stronger deconstructs (There, I wrote it.  I wrote one of the “fanciest” review words there is.  I’ve been trying to avoid that word, but it just came out this time.  Dang it.  I’ve sold out to the English language) into the listed fruit flavors on the bottle.  Let’s see if this superb scent translates into a terrific taste.  Double alliteration.  You like that?

That is an incredibly pleasant experience.  Immediately I’m shown that the level of carbonation has been though out.  It’s just the right amount of tickle when compared to the viscosity of the beverage.  It ultimately stays out of the way, but occasionally cracks a joke form the corner just to let you know he’s there. 

Even Twist can't break this c-c-combo

All three listed flavors have shown up for roll call and aren’t hiding toward the back of the group.  When I first take a sip the triple threat is at its strongest.  The blackberry and pomegranate stand tall upon my taste buds with a very noticeable ginger right behind them.  Pretend you’re playing “Red Rover” with fruit.  Blackberry and Pomegranate are on a team and they call out, “Red rover, red rover, let Ginger come over.”  Ginger releases whatever losers he was tied to and crashes into the arms of B.B. and Pommy.  That’s how Joia introduced this ginger flavor to my mouth.  You see him running up from the distance, gaining speed, like you’re about to be hit in the face with the burning sensation of ginger. 

Then right as he’s within spitting distance the arms of Blackberry and Pomegranate slow him down enough that they avert disaster.  Ginger may pull their arms back trying to break free, but B.B. and Pommy hold strong.  Take a mental picture of that.  Three “kids” playing this game and at this exact point having a great time either holding their friend back or trying to muster enough strength to power through.  All of them at this point in time are succeeding, the outcome is unknown, but the time had is excellent.  That’s what Joia Blackberry Pomegranate & Ginger soda is.  It’s a fantastic combination of fun, flavor, ingredients, and style.  This is a truly wonderful beverage.

~A

Flathead Lake Huckleberry

/

Huckleberry Finn is a literary classic.  My mother used to have a very old edition of said book and in junior high I took it to school with me and tossed it in the bottom of my locker.  It sat there, books piling upon it, tearing the spine off painfully slow.  I brought it home and my mother was understandably angry.  Well, at the time I didn’t understand because it was just a book.  You could buy Huckleberry Finn at the store for $5. 

Twist could mess up the Flathead Lake mascot

This has nothing to do with the soda I’m about to drink, I just wanted to get that off my chest.  I still feel bad for ruining that book.  Flathead Lake Huckleberry (there’s the tie in) Soda probably isn’t going to be as good as the words Mark Twain penned.  If the taste equals his excellence in writing then I’ll shut down the website.  I seriously doubt that will happen though because Flathead Lake usually tastes off to me.  I like the story they tell, but the ending makes me not care if I hear it again.  There ingredients are an assortment of chemicals and it’s quite obvious when you take a sip.  Then again, I haven’t had their huckleberry.  For the record I’m YOUR huckleberry and I’m ready to review this.

A grape aroma surrounded by candy flies out of the bottle.  The scent is not solely grape, but that’s definitely the smell in charge.  The tart huckleberry taste can be felt within my nostrils as I take deeper and deeper whiffs.  Here’s hoping this above average smell isn’t a sugary mess in the taste department.

For having such a powerful aroma the taste is actually quite weak.  Flathead Lake Huckleberry is a watery grape soda with whispers of flavor from a similar fruit.  The carbonation is sharp and fizzy, but not enough to have me anxiously anticipating my next sip.  Even if this did have a more powerful taste I’m not sure it’d be enough to change the rating I’m already leaning towards.  It’s tasty enough, but even if you’re really into huckleberries I just don’t see this being your soda of choice.  The flavors are muted, confused, and seem thrown together for the sake of being “not just a grape soda”.  “This is huckleberry dang-it and people will notice us more because it’s not your standard flavor.”  This is true.  When I saw the flavor of this soda was huckleberry I became excited because it wasn’t a flavor I was used to.  I can count on one hand the number of huckleberry sodas I’ve had.  So Flathead Lake got me, but didn’t deliver on the flavor.  Add this to the fact that my mouth is coated with a thin layer of “huckleberry” syrup and it’s really not that enjoyable of an experience. 

No, it’s not a gross soda, but it’s not hard to make “not a gross soda”.  I’ve done it, but it’s nothing I’d bottle and sell.  Flathead Lake made one too, but instead of using huckleberry they used “artificial flavors” and called it a day.  Again, it’s not gross so I won’t tell you to beware.  It’s just so average.

~A

Reading Draft Blueberry Birch

/

Did you know that Reading Railroad on the Monopoly board is pronounced "Redding" Railroad?  You would have if you'd listened to this Popcast when it first came out, but now you're stuck here looking for a review of Reading Draft Blueberry Birch.  There is a review and it's going to be in your ears soon.

Popcast Episode 44 - Reading Draft Blueberry Birch

It's the blueberriest... not really

Jack Black's Dead Red Root Beer

/

For the third time available in 420 years, it’s Jack Black’s Dead Red Root Beer by Real Soda.  While I may not always enjoy Real Soda’s selection of beverages, I can’t say they don’t take great pride in their labeling.  According to the bottle, “once you’ve had jack black you’ll never go back!”  That is unless of course we’re speaking of the actor and you’ve just watched Gulliver’s Travels.  Dead Red Root Beer is one of the few caffeinated root beers I’ve seen to date.  It’s also sweetened with cane sugar, has a touch of Brazilian Guarana and good ol’ fashioned sodium benzoate!  Thankfully the color of this root beer is as advertised, red.  How embarrassing would it have been if the drink inside wasn’t what the label claimed?  Yarr well, I guess it’s time for a review. 

There is a pleasant rooty aroma that escapes the bottle upon opening.  Beneath the bottle cap it teaches how to properly toast a bottle of Jack Black.  I say “skull” and you’ll respond with “crossbones”.  Ready!

Twist is the third incarnation of the Dread Pirate Roberts

I’ll assume you said “crossbones” prior to this sentence as I did indeed say “skull”.  I didn’t type it because the bottle cap clearly states that I say it.  The root beer itself is quite nice.  There’s a bit of a peppery kick at the end of each sip I take that shook my tongue awake.  More creamy than sharp, Jack Black’s Dead Red Root Beer starts off as an above average beverage and only improves as you drink it due to the use of “natural and artificial flavors”.  I really wish I knew what they were, but whatever they are it’s working.  This has the sort of spice sensation that you’d find in eggnog and since we’re smack dab in the middle of the holiday season I appreciate it even more.

Carbonation levels are good as they don’t intrude on the consumption experience at all.  Yes they are noticeable, but they create a fun mouth feel that will have you looking forward to the next sip.  While I am praising Jack Black’s Dead Red Root Beer there’s nothing about it that makes me want to buy this in droves.  The ingredient list is indeed above average and that creates an above average taste… nothing more.  So I tip my hat to you Pirate Black and recommend the Carbo-Nation do the same.

~A(ye) Aye

 

 

Rocket Fizz Shirley Temple

/

I didn’t even know what a Shirley Temple was before meeting my wife.  In case you’re in the same boat as 24 year old Aaron, a Shirley Temple is what you get when you combine grenadine with Sprite.  It’s like a cherry limeade, but with a lighter flavoring.  They’re quite tasty and I recommend trying one if you haven’t before.  Rocket Fizz apparently agrees with my recommendation and created a bottled version they so cleverly called Rocket Fizz Shirley Temple.  Like other Rocket Fizz products this one is sweetened with pure cane sugar.  I’m so happy they went with the “pure” cane sugar and didn’t scrape the bottom of the barrel for the “tainted” cane sugar that we so often see soda companies’ use.  *Sigh* It’s just cane sugar folks.

Twist's expression is bewilderment 

Well, we’re not starting off on the best foot.  The aroma that wafts from the bottle reminds me quite a bit of nail polish remover.  Having never tried nail polish remover I can’t honestly tell you if it tastes like a Shirley Temple, but I’m going to go out on a limb and guess it doesn’t. (don’t drink nail polish remover, kids)  With that aroma now bouncing around my nostrils I suppose it’s time for me to give this bottle of Rocket Fizz Shirley Temple the ooooooooooold taste test.

This is not good, nor does it taste like a Shirley Temple.  Rocket Fizz Shirley Temple is a syrupy mess.  If children’s cold medicine had a cotton candy flavor it would taste like this.  The sweet, over the top flavor grabs onto my teeth and refuses to let go.  If there is a cherry sensation to be had it has mutated into some sort of quasi-cherry chemical mixture that my palate does not find to be very pleasant.  The carbonation level is light and fizzy, so at least that has been done well.  I was really expecting a completely different beverage here, but what I’m tasting makes it seem like this particular flavor was just thrown together in the hopes that it would taste good.  I’m honestly confused as to what happened because Rocket Fizz is usually pretty good about getting close to the flavor listed on the bottle.  Perhaps I’ll revisit this at another time to make sure I didn’t get a bad batch, but for now I can’t recommend trying this.

~A

 

Something Natural Black Cherry

/

I wanted to do a review today, but didn’t feel like drinking a sugary soda.  Thankfully a while back the guys at ThirstMonger sent me two flavors of Something Natural and I had only completed the review of one of them.  You may remember the last time I reviewed a beverage from Something Natural.  The flavor was strawberry peach and I was genuinely impressed with both their simplistic ingredient list and the way they used both sugar and stevia to sweeten.  Well today I have Something Natural Black Cherry and I truly believe this is going to hit the spot.

Twist ate a bird once...once.

A stronger than expected black cherry scent is easily detected exiting this beautiful bottle.  Something Natural really does do an excellent job in the presentation department.  Everything is simple yet elegant, making just looking at the bottle a treat.  I am a little nervous about black cherry sparkling water though.  Black cherry is known for being a very robust flavor and so many flavors made into sparkling waters get muted or left behind in the process.  Hopefully Something Natural knows what they’re doing in this regard.

My fear was met somewhere in the middle.  The flavor of black cherry is easily identified, but at the cost of tasting somewhat diet.  It’s my opinion that the black cherry flavor should never be confused with a diet taste.  I don’t care if you’re soda is Diet Black Cherry, removing the cherries natural rich flavor is a crime against the fruit. 

Something Natural Black Cherry doesn’t taste poorly at all, but I really think their flavor selection could be better.  In the previous review of strawberry peach they had two flavors in their arsenal that translated well into the light fizzy world of sparkling water.  Everything else about this beverage is located on an elevated notch.  It’s not quite the top notch, but it’s getting there.  The carbonation is fun and inviting.  As I’ve stated before, the bottle is pleasant.  The ingredient list is to be envied… it’s just that the most important aspect doesn’t work for me.  I wonder how Something Natural Watermelon would taste.  I’ve looked over their flavors and the second heaviest one seems to be Raspberry Keylime.  While I can’t speak for the taste of it, I wouldn’t have the initial doubts about that flavor that I did toward Black Cherry.  It’s just too strong of a fruit, flavor, or idea to hinder.

 All in all though it’s not a terrible drink; I could easily finish the bottle and my rating will reflect that.  If I were you I’d just grab another of their flavors prior to this one.

~A

Filbert's Strawberry

/

As many of you know I’m not the biggest fan of strawberry soda.  Far too often it’s just a conglomeration of sugar, chemicals, and bubbles.  So when I pulled Filbert’s Strawberry soda out of my fridge I probably voiced an audible sigh.  While the rich red coloring and the barrel full of soda on the label are nice, I’m just not in the mood for another sugar filled strawberry soda.  I was hoping that the inclusion of pure sugar in the ingredients would make me a little happier about reviewing this, but Filbert’s is made with “sugar and/or corn sweetner”.  That’s “sweetner” without the “e”.  Other such ingredients in this self-proclaimed “Old Time Quality” soda are as follows:  Carbonated water, citric acid, artificial flavor & color, and of course sodium benzoate.  No matter how good this soda is, they’ve already hit one of my nerves.  Don’t say your beverage has an “Old Time Quality” when your ingredient list is that sad.  At least the bottle cap is nice.

A strawberry scent so sweet it could be cotton candy oozes carefully out of the mouth of the bottle.  I am happy that the scent wasn’t so powerful I could smell it from a distance.  Hopefully this means it’s not quite as sugary as I perceived it to be.

Twist's middle name is Filbert.  No relation.

That is a rather odd strawberry soda.  Let me start off by saying that this isn’t a sugary mess.  Yes it’s sweet, but thankfully someone showed some restraint and pulled back what could have been Candyland.  Each sip doesn’t start off tasting like strawberry; in fact the first half of my sip doesn’t taste like much at all.  As soon as I agitate the liquid, either by swishing or swallowing, I’m welcomed with a smattering of strawberry that seems to identify a little bit with a strawberry-cream.  Even though there is a touch of cream flavoring in each gulp the end of my sips trail off into a chemical heap.  This artificial ending begins to even taste a little like a diet strawberry soda before turning into an unfortunate memory.

The fruit flavor of Filbert’s Strawberry is unmistakably recognized, but it’s not nearly as powerful as I thought it would be.  If they were to boost the flavor just a bit I think they could improve their product.  As it stands now, Filbert’s Strawberry is pleasantly different, but nothing I’d force people to drink. 

~A