Begley's and Bill's Cream Soda

Ever wondered what Ed Begley Jr. tasted like?  You’re creepy, stop.  For those who answered the question with a resounding “no” I’ll continue on.  Ed Begley Jr. and man named Bill Sabo created a line of all natural sugar free sodas.  Ok, so I’m pretty sure Bill Sabo did the creating, but Ed Begley’s name is on the bottle as well...unless you go to the website where it’s called Birdie and Bill’s.  I have no idea why, but we’re going to ignore that fact to avoid potential awkwardness (maybe it was a love triangle?! Gasp!).  The first flavor I’ve chosen to review is Cream Soda.  The ingredients tell me that it’s sweetened with SweetenFX which is their proprietary blend of stevia (duh) and Erythritol.  

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Faux Fact: E.B.J tastes like Twist.

Now since SweetenFX is strictly a Begley’s and Bills item I’ve never come across it.  The bottle swears to me this soda is “Great Tasting” in both English and French, so who am I to doubt it.  Oh, I’m a guy that hasn’t had a good stevia sweetened “brown” soda.  That’s who I am, so I will doubt it.  Let’s not give me much time to doubt though.  It’s time to dive in.

My nostril pulls sharply at the mouth of the bottle, just barely getting the scent of cream soda.  What I do smell is pleasant.  There is a very strong vanilla presence in terms of aroma which is something I fully expect of any cream soda.  I do hope that this scent translates honestly into a taste.

Alright Ed, or Bill, or Birdie, you’ve got a pretty decent cream soda here.  SweetenFX really does an excellent job of creating a drinking experience that lacks the terrible aftertaste stevia is associated with.  Can I tell this isn’t made with sugar?  Yes, but I don’t care all that much as the chemical taste is minimal to non existent at times.  Instead a rich vanilla taste lingers with each sip.  The carbonation is light, but noticeable enough to contrast the smooth cream soda mouth feel you’d expect.  

What’s most impressive is that cream soda is a known sweet beverage and they replicated it very well.  You pick one up and expect a sugar rush in the taste.  They've managed to mostly duplicate that sensation with no sugar at all.  It was a risky soda to make, but they've pulled it off beautifully.  

So, does Begley’s and Bill’s Cream Soda match up to the big brand cream sodas?  Yes it really does and while the flavor isn’t something I’m going crazy over it’s still a good solid cream soda.  For those who need a sugar free cream soda I want to steer all of you in the direction of this bottle.  For those of us who are fortunate enough to be able to chose between sugar full and sugar free, I still suggest you buy a pack.  Either way I’m looking forward to trying a few other bottles of Begley’s/Birdie’s and Bill’s.

~A

This soda supplied to us by Begley's and Bill's 

Honest Fizz Root Beer

Well there has been some delay in reviews as of recent and I promise you it’s for good reason.  This Jerk now has a tiny Jerk of his own to take care of.  So there’s my excuse, hopefully you’ll take it.  Now perhaps you’ll think my excuse was fabricated when I tell you the next drink I had in line was an organic, stevia sweetened, zero calorie root beer.  That’d be pretty low to make up a tiny Jerk just to postpone reviewing a diet root beer.

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Don't worry, Twist told me the correct location eventually.  It's his establishment after all. 

 It worries me a bit to review this as I’ve never personally found any enjoyment out of “diet” root beer.  In fact I compare it to poison when the subject comes up.  Perhaps the stevia will add a little something I’ve never experienced before, but I’m still leery.  Oh, the name of the drink at hand is Honest Fizz Root Beer.  If you’ve been keeping up you’ll know that this is the fourth Honest Fizz beverage I’ve tried with mixed results.  As long as they stick to citrus soda they seem to do alright; it’s when they dabble in the brown sodas that their weakness is shown.  Who am I to jump to conclusions though?  Let me find out for myself.

After opening the scent off the can could hold its own with any root beer on the market.  There’s nothing scary or off putting at all.  Just two nostrils full of vanilla goodness telling me I’m ready.  Hopefully  my tongue gets into the same show that my nose told just told him about.

My nose was telling a half truth.  There was indeed a “place in France where the pretty ladies dance”, but no “hole in the wall for the men to see it all”.  For half of the sip I was there in France, I was sold, I was convinced that I was in the right place.  For half of the sip it was creamy, foamy, and right up there with your major players like Barq’s and the like.  The second half of the sip is when this imagined wall came tumbling down taking its hole with it.  It went from high hopes to bowl of nopes in about two seconds. 

Now bitter and dry, pulling away any taste of creamy vanilla I had once experienced.  It’s like I’m drinking root beer flavored seltzer water.  Each time I try and recreate the first half of the sip my trip is cut shorter and shorter until I’m just standing in Paris looking like a scammed tourist.  Why did I allow myself to get scammed?  I’ve never had a good sugar free root beer.  What made me think this would be any different?  Well at least I got to see Disneyland Paris.

~A

This soda supplied to us by Honest Fizz

Honest Fizz Orange Pop

So far Honest Fizz is one for two in my book.  Their Professor Fizz stevia sweetened soda wasn’t all that great, but Lemon Limey had promise.  So let’s follow that same citrus vine as it takes us to today’s soda, Honest Fizz Orange Pop.  Now many of the orange sodas I’ve reviewed have been chock full of sugar, so today’s installment of a stevia sweetened orange soda will be a first for me.  Will it be dry but still flavored appropriately like Lemon Limey, or will the stevia take over and make me wish I was eating orange rind instead? 

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When Twist was a boy he called his father Orange Pop, but then the change occurred.

The scent seems safe enough.  I’ve opened enough cans of Sunkist Orange to know what a “by the book” orange soda smells like and Orange Pop is just another chapter in said book.  Hopefully the flavor has studied the curriculum.  It’s a loose reference to the previous sentence, but it works well enough for me.  Moving on.

Much like Lemon Limey, the mouth feel of this soda is indeed a little dry but it works.  There’s not a burst of sugary taste, there’s not a film coating my mouth, and there’s not any of the terrible aftertaste that stevia is known for.  Honest Fizz Orange Pop is like orange soda graduated from college, bought a town home, and adopted a dog.  It has its life in order and no longer has time for the crazy parties it used to throw back at Berkeley.  That’s right, orange soda went to Berkeley.  Sure, he’ll let loose and play with his dog, but he’s focused on giving you an orange flavored soda without all the nonsense.  Some of his friends may not like him anymore because of what he’s become, but Honest Fizz Orange Pop won’t have a hard time making new friends.

The carbonation levels are a little high which is probably masking some of the stevia taste and as the liquid inside heats up a little it’s becoming harder to hide.  Even with the stevia taste showing through a little, I’m ok with mature orange soda.  I may not visit him as often, but he’s still an ok guy.  So I like my orange sodas sugary, there’s nothing wrong with that.  I can still appreciate what Honest Fizz has done here.  This is a legitimate zero calorie orange soda and if that’s your thing then you won’t be disappointed.

~A

This soda was supplied to us by Honest Fizz

Honest Fizz Lemon Limey

Ok, so I wasn’t thrilled with Honest Fizz Professor Fizz.  Did you really expect me to fall head over heels for a stevia sweetened Dr Pepper clone?  I have a feeling today will be a better day for Honest Fizz  when I review Lemon Limey.  The lemon lime flavor combination is tried and true, but I also believe it lends itself to be sweetened by stevia.  There’s only a handful of ways to find out if I’m right; I’m picking the way that continues this review.

The scent is faint, but I’m able to discern lime right off the bat.  That’s always a good sign in my book as the lime (in my opinion) is the flavor that usually gets left behind when talking about lemon/lime beverages.  Perhaps Honest Fizz Lemon Limey will end up teaching a class on how to properly flavor a citrus soda.

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Twist embodies lemon lime.

That’s not half bad.  Much like I expected, the stevia doesn’t offend as it might in one of the brown sodas (cola, Dr Pepper, root beer).  In fact it gives Lemon Limey a bit of a dry sensation you might expect from a fancier beverage.  The taste is quite similar to a well flavored sparkling water.  Personally I’d choose Honest Fizz Lemon Limey over most any sparkling water based on its flavor. 

The carbonation is light, but noticeable.  It’s like I’m drinking fancy Sprite except Honest Fizz does a better job emphasizing the two flavors in an individual manner.  With that said it’s not flavor-full.  Yes, I’m aware that “flavorful” is the word I was looking for, but I wanted to stress that Lemon Limey had flavor, it just wasn’t full of it. 

Certainly this soda has a market, but I don’t believe I’m in it.  I’m not looking for soda with zero calories sweetened with stevia leaves, if I were though I’d pick up a can of Honest Fizz Lemon Limey.  As I stated before, this soda isn’t bitter, it’s dry.  The flavor doesn’t make me crave more.  This just isn’t my thing, but I can certainly respect the job they did in creating it. 

If you prefer diet sodas or you need to have a sugarless soda for one reason or another, then I highly recommend trying Honest Fizz Lemon Limey.  On the other hand, if neither of those things are for you then maybe you should pick up a bottle to double check.

~A

This soda was supplied to us by Honest Fizz

Honest Fizz Professor Fizz

I have returned from my long break and I’m sure the rumors about my departure were just starting to run rampant.  Had I gone off the deep end, sold my Soda Jerk stock and purchased a yacht?  Perhaps I gave up soda drinking and was living in a little cave with only the essentials.  Maybe I was prepping for Game of Thrones Season 4 to start.  I’m not sure we’ll ever figure out what I was up to, but I’m sure it’s a tale for the police.

Today’s review comes from the folks at Honest Tea.  They make a soda called Honest Fizz that comes in four (hopefully) fantastic flavors.  Honest Fizz is a zero calorie soda that’s naturally sweetened with stevia.  Here’s their ingredient list for those interested.  You know there won’t be a lot of ingredients because I’d be too lazy to type them.  Anywho, here they are:  Carbonated Water, Erythritol, Organic Caramel Color, Natural Flavors, Stevia Leaf Extract, Citric Acid, and Caffeine.  For those who don’t know what Erythritol is, it’s a sugar that’s sometimes found in fruit and fermented food.  I don’t know if Honest Fizz’s is from fruit or from a lab, either way it’s in there.

What I’ve chosen today is called Professor Fizz.  Honestly I don’t really know what flavor Professor Fizz is as the label has what looks to be a cherry on it, but the description on the back reads like this may have Dr Pepper similarity.  You be the judge.

“Professor Fizz has a Ph.D. in taste, and one sip will tell you why.  There’s no way to describe this unique, all-natural spiced cherry flavor, other than to say it’s a definite A+.”

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Fun Fact:  Twist was known as Professor Fizz when he taught school in the 1800's.

So I counted a total of two puns in there.  I’m ok with puns… the lip of the can says “So-da-lightful”…I’m no longer comfortable with this many puns/plays on words.  Now that I’ve written my longest intro yet, lets me get to actually reviewing.

Judging by the smell of Professor Fizz I’m going to say they’re going for the Dr Pepper experience in this soda.  To back up my theory, the color is brown with a light red hue.  Scent-wise they’re doing a pretty good job matching it though.  Should be interesting to see how the taste stacks up.

Curse you stevia.  The first third of my sip tastes like Diet Dr Pepper.  The cherry/cola/root beer taste is there.  It’s sweet, it’s light, and it’s enjoyable.  The carbonation brushes gently across my tongue in a playful way.  I want to take another sip, but then the first third of my sip ends abruptly.  The second third of my sip begins to taste like Diet Dr.  The sweetness is turning into a somewhat bitter chemical sensation.  The cherry/cola/root beer flavor is fading quickly and the overall makeup of the soda is deteriorating.  By the time I’m in the home stretch it’s a bitter liquid that doesn’t even resemble what it sought out to be like so many of us out there.

You leave home at 18 to go out into the world with so many ideas.  You have your flaws, but you still feel unstoppable.  As time marches on you gain a more realistic view.  Bills, work, and booze infiltrate your life.  You black out.  Now you sit hunched over a computer writing soda reviews for the masses.  Three meals a day are passed to you through the bars of your “office”.  You tell them you have a peanut allergy, but they keep putting them on the brownies to spite you.  Your boss comes in every hour on the hour to make sure you’re still cranking them out.  Finally one day you find a way to escape. 

A speck of sunlight is seen at the end of the long hall.  You make a break for it.  For over a month you’re out in the world again, feeling light and airy.  A few weeks later you check the site and see that some other schmuck has posted a review.  Relief passes over your body as you figure the search for you is all but over.  You go to your family’s house to spend Easter Sunday with them, but that’s where they get you.  Before you can ring the doorbell the men in blue gag you and bring you back to your computer so that you can write more reviews.

That “fictional tale” is what Professor Fizz’s journey seems like.  It started off with such hope and promise, but the speed in which it deconstructed into a bitter beverage with a stevia aftertaste is astounding.  I know they want to have a zero calorie soda and I don’t fault them for that.  If they want to have an improved flavor then they need to cut the stevia with some sugar.  Just do half and half to see what it tastes like.  It’ll still be pretty low in calorie and you might have a wider appeal.  What do I know though?  I don’t make soda; I just sit here in my office eating brownies all day.

~A

This soda supplied to us by Honest Fizz

Kazouza Watermelon

I ate some insane hot sauce today, 357 Mad Dog if you’re curious.  It was a rather painful experience, but I knew I had a soda review that needed to be written as well.  Sadly I had to wait until the hot sauce heat had worn off because I didn’t want to grant extra points for relieving pain.  So here we are, me a little bit smarter and you waiting for a review.  Today’s soda was purchased by you with your donations, I thank you.  What you bought me was Kazouza Watermelon Soda.  Checking out the ingredients I see this was made in Lebanon and contains 5% juice.  It also contains the “Esters of Wood Rosins”, so I got that to look forward to.  Let’s just get to it.

Watermelon scent slyly finds its way out of the bottle, hardly noticeable unless you’re looking for it.  There’s something off putting about the aroma as well, sort of a sickly scent.  I’m hoping that doesn’t translate its way into the taste.

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Watermelon was the first currency used among iguanas.  Twist at one point controlled 6% of all watermelons. 

There is a light fizz to this refreshing watermelon soda.  It’s a fairly natural taste with a differing sweetness than you’d find in an actual fruit.  Watermelons are actually nauseating to me due to their cloyingly sweet taste, yet Kazouza Watermelon allows me to enjoy watermelon flavor without wanting to retch. 

Helping keep the soda from clinging to my teeth is the cane sugar it’s sweetened with.  While I do end up with some aftertaste I’m primarily given a clean finish with each sip.  It may take a few extra seconds, but ultimately the taste vanishes allowing for a soda that doesn’t built upon itself and overpower.

Kazouza Watermelon is alright.  I’m not going to run out and buy a ton of it because, as stated before, I don’t like watermelon.  If you like the taste of watermelon then I think you’d enjoy this soda.  Unfortunately for Kazouza my dislike of watermelon is going to come through in the rating of this soda.  Just keep that in mind, will you?

This soda was supplied to us by YOU!  Your donations allowed for us to purchase this for review. Thank you!

Route 66 Lime Soda

You can either read 500 something reviews or this next sentence to catch up.  I like lime soda.  So when I was presented the funds (from you) to buy my own sodas of course I picked a lime flavored one.  Route 66 Lime Soda to be exact.  The bottle even says “Chosen by Soda jerks Every Time”.  If that’s not some sort of sign I don’t know what is.  The ingredient list is mostly chemical, but this is sweetened with “real” cane sugar so it has that going for it.  Above the ingredients is what I assume to be a “stopping point” on Route 66.  Today’s stopping point is the Chain of Rocks Bridge.  It’s over 5353 feet long and was constructed in 1929.  I’d tell you more about it, but I don’t want to spoil the ending.  What I do want to do is taste this anti-freeze green soda.

Route 66 Lime Soda smells of lime candy with a hint of cleaning product.  Preferably it will taste like lime candy and the cleaning product aroma will just add a needed kick to the mouth feel.  Bottoms up!

There’s more of a bitter taste to this soda than I anticipated.  Needless to say it cuts down on the potential to be candy sweet, but in doing so keeps the flavor more in the natural realm.  With that said, this is definitely not lime juice soda.  The sugar just takes a moment to get up and running before it can chase the mild bitterness away.  A bit of a syrupy texture is left on my teeth as I continue to consume this soda.  It’s not all that bothersome, but I’d rather do without it.  All in all I’m finding Route 66 Lime Soda to be rather average.  It tastes alright, but even as a lime lover I’d rather an average [insert fruit here] soda over this one. 

Caught somewhere between trying to be candy and trying to taste like lime, Route 66 Lime Soda just ends up being forgettably good.  If you just want a lime soda and you see this, then grab a bottle.  If you want a fruit flavored soda then just go for what looks best in your cup holder.

~A

This soda was brought to us by YOU!  The donations you supplied were used to purchase it!

R-Pep

Anything mainstream has a knock off version of it.  Take it from the kid who was playing with Go-Bots instead of Transformers.  As I’m sure you’re aware, this especially rings true in the soda world where a multitude of “coke like colas” are out there.  Another flavor you see multitudes of is Dr Pepper.  Today’s beverage, I’m assuming, is a Dr Pepper “inspired” soda.  I’m guessing this because it’s called R-Pep.  What would you think it was?  It’s made with chemicals and cane sugar so it’s at least trying. 

My personal favorite part of this simple labeled soda is that the slogan is “Make it Yours!”   If this truly is “inspired” by Dr Pepper then those words could not ring truer.  Make this other popular flavor yours.  Who knows though?  Perhaps I’ll open this up and it won’t taste a thing like Dr Pepper.  Perhaps I’ll look like an ass because of it.  Either way, it’s time to find out.

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Twist was once a doctor in a small Midwestern town.

It smells somewhat like the Dr, but a different scent lingers as well.  A strong caramel sensation seems to be making itself noticed.  Maybe this is what will keep R-Pep from being a knock off and make me play the fool.

So I may not be playing the fool, but I’m at least his understudy.  R-Pep is good, but I could easily tell the two apart due to a couple of things that R-Pep does differently.  This is certainly creamier than Dr Pepper and the carbonation levels are lower here.  These differences allow R-Pep to be smoother than the already self-proclaimed smooth Dr.  There is also a heavier dose of vanilla used in R-Pep which just exaggerates the previously made point.  Overall it’s a pretty dang tasty beverage and even though it’s exactly what I thought it would be, it’s not.

Anyone can make a halfhearted attempt to copy someone, causing the result to taste halfhearted.  When a company makes a soda like R-Pep you at least know they were trying.  A lover of Dr Pepper had an idea of how to make it better, so they put forth the time and energy to do so.  Ultimately this created a different enough soda that it should be allowed to stand alone, but sadly will always be compared.  Just ask Pepsi how that’s worked out for them.  Dr Pepper’s only competitor is Pibb and if you ask me that’s not much of a competitor.  R-Pep is better than Pibb and sizes up well against its “inspiration”.  Sure it’s sweeter, more vanilla-y, and smoother, but that’s what makes it special.  If you find a bottle in your neck of the woods you should give it a try.

~A

This soda was given to us by YOU!  Your donations made this review possible, so THANKS!

Swamp Pop Praline Cream Soda

Well, I’ve saved what I think will be the best Swamp Pop flavor for last.  Swamp Pop Praline Cream Soda sits in front of me complete with a tiny picture of pecans (pronounced puh-konz if you care to be a friend of mine).  I’m curious as to how candy like this cream soda will be.  Will it be extra sweet with a caramel finish?  Will it have a nutty flavor with a hint of cream?  I genuinely haven’t the slightest of clues, so let’s find out shall we?

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Twist loves himself some pralines. His original recipe included crickets though.

Judging by the aroma it seems they went the caramel route.  So rich it almost has a texture, a sweet/salty scent flows easily out of the mouth of the bottle and just hangs.  By smell alone I can tell you this is a dessert beverage and I’m guessing a dang fine one. 

Son of a gun.  Chocolate, caramel, cream, coffee, pecan, and a touch of dirty livin’ made this soda.  This is a wonderful combination of all the flavors listed.  Initially the taste starts off smooth and nonchalant, but a caramel coffee sensation rolls across my tongue and does it’s best to prepare me for what’s to come.  Its delightful warning is followed by a somewhat bitter chocolate taste that rushes by with pecans in hand.  Like a streaker running past, you know you saw something, but it all happened so fast you can’t create a very accurate mental picture of the naked person.  The carbonation is fairly light, letting all of the tastes show their stuff. 

Behind all of this is the cream, because after all it is a cream soda.  This cream keeps the flavor consistent throughout its ever changing textures.  You may have noticed that I also included “dirty livin” as a flavor.  By that I just mean you can taste the work, effort, and dirty hands that it took to come up with this one.  I’m not sure I can find a weakness in this soda. 

What’s impressive to me is that with all of those flavors the beverage doesn’t feel heavy.  I’ve finished this bottle and could easily drink more.  Not something I expected after getting a scent of what I was about to drink. 

So it seems I made the right decision leaving Praline Cream Soda for last.  Overall I’m very impressed with the Swamp Pop line up as they give us familiar tastes, but with a Louisiana touch.  If you have the chance, you definitely need to pick up a bottle.

~A

This soda supplied to us by Swamp Pop

A “Twist’s Choice” Recipient

Swamp Pop Satsuma Fizz

So I put forth a poll last night on which Swamp Pop flavor to drink next.  The results were overwhelmingly in favor of Satsuma Fizz.  100% of voters picked the beverage so it must be good.  Technically the folks at Pops 66 were the only ones to vote, but doggone it they did and I’m going to listen to them.  A Satsuma, if you are unaware, is a little sweet orange.  I’m actually quite surprised I’ve never had a Satsuma soda before as I think the flavor would translate rather nicely.  There is only one somewhat odd ingredient in this soda and that is Beta Carotene.  It’s not really going to affect anything, I just thought it was interesting.  Onward!

Satsuma Fizz was Twist's name when he was hustlin' pool.  If you were scammed by a Satsuma Fizz though it was probably a different iguana.

Ooohwee, it’s a tart little orange soda judging by the scent.  Thankfully there is also a sweet aroma mixed in, but it really does seem like the citrus side of Satsuma will be the one to shine.

That is truly a realistic tasting orange soda.  The natural sweetness of the titled ingredient is quite prevalent, but not so much that you’d mistake this for sugary nonsense.  So many orange sodas are sugary nonsense making Swamp Pop the newest member of the sparsely populated “unique orange soda” clique.  Hopefully RootJack doesn’t bother him too much.

A burst of tart orange takes over my mouth just short of it feeling like I’m biting into the fruit itself.  Only once the sharp yet light carbonation gets out of the way do you experience any sort of taste resembling candy.  Well timed, this happens at the end of each sip, allowing my taste buds to go on a pleasant journey each time I draw the bottle to my mouth.  This might be the shortest review I’ve written on a soda I really enjoy.  I won’t over complicate what is a simple enjoyment with more words.  Well, maybe four more.

~A

This soda was supplied to us by Swamp Pop

Swamp Pop Jean Lafitte Ginger Ale

Ever had a soda named after a French Pirate?  Me either.  If that’s some sort of goal you hold than today’s review may interest you.   Swamp Pop’s Jean Lafitte Ginger Ale is what’s on the table today and the name alone excites me.  The ingredient list is still pretty vague, but their Noble Cane Cola was of a high enough quality I trust their ginger ale will follow suit.  Time to crack open this pale golden beverage and get to typing.

For being a ginger ale this smells fairly citrusy.  Of course the spiced aroma you’d expect is there, but the hint of citrus seems a bit out of place.  Perhaps my smeller has gone awry.  No matter as it’s my tongues turn to test.

Ok, so there’s a picture of what I can assume is an ingredient on the label.  I don’t know what I assumed it was, but after tasting this I can tell you that it displays slices of cucumber.  This was abundantly brought to my attention with my first taste.  As someone who is not fond of cucumber the distinct flavor hit my palate like a ton of bricks, but was quickly followed up with the fiery sensation of ginger root. 

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Twist is actually fathered the iguana that traveled with Jean Lafitte.  Small world.

Now having enjoyed cucumber sodas before, I was taken aback by the inclusion of the vegetable.  That said, this combination works quite well together.  The crisp taste of cucumber (a word I really didn’t expect to use at all in this review) is a bit muddled by the star of the show known as ginger, but that’s to be expected when “ginger” is on the bottle.  I am amused that not a single label mentions that this has a cucumber flavor.  You are to rely on its portrait and if I was a smarter man I’d have seen it coming from a mile away.  Why else would you put such a nonsensical picture on the bottle? 

The carbonation knows its role as it intensifies the heat given off by the ginger, but doesn’t get in the way of the flavors.  Once again I’m finding a Swamp Pop soda a little bit clingy in its aftertaste.  Thankfully this taste isn’t a bad one; it just lingers a bit longer than I’d care for it to.  That coupled with my dislike of cucumber will keep this from being rated crazy high.  It’s clearly an above average soda though and I’d recommend it to anyone that loves soda, cucumber, or ginger ales in general.

I really like Swamp Pop as a company.  They’re taking every day flavors found in sodas and truly making them their own.  Do my taste buds love every second of every sip?  No, but I can still appreciate the work put into this.  I haven’t tried the remaining two flavors yet, but I’m genuinely excited to do so.

~A

This soda supplied to us by Swamp Pop

Swamp Pop Noble Cane Cola

As a Texan there are two states we primarily make fun of, Oklahoma and Louisiana.  Now don’t get your feathers in a ruffle if you’re from one of those states as I’m sure you make fun plenty of Texas, heck the entire country does at some time or another.  Today’s soda is Louisiana based and in different circumstances I’d probably poke fun, but in the case of Swamp Pop Noble Cane Cola I think I’ll play nice.  My primary reason for playing nice is that the makers of Swamp Pop are showing state pride in the naming of their beverage.  The swamps of Louisiana are a well-known property of the state and I just can’t fault anyone for loving their state so much they worked it into the name of their product.  Since they’re practically putting their state on the label I can only hope they take the same pride and put it into their soda.

Swamp Pop Noble Cane Cola has a very retro label.  When I say “retro” in this case I mean it looks like something you’d see in a general store of years past.  At least one of the ingredients is from years past as well.  Obviously as a “cane cola” Swamp Pop is sweetened with Louisiana cane sugar.  A few other ingredients that make up this soda include sodium benzoate, Quillaja extract, and “natural flavors”.  So you see Swamp Pop isn’t an all-natural soda, but they’re certainly not run of the mill either.  Hopefully that will translate into the taste.

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Twist on his porch enjoying a cool bottle of Swamp Pop

Well they’ve already found favor with me in using the pop-top method rather than twist off.  Cola sno-cone is the aroma I’m getting when I place my nostril to the mouth of the bottle.  It’s an interesting scent with a hint of spearmint.  My excitement is rising to try this potentially unique cola.

Well that’s kind of fun.  The Quillaja extract, something I’ve never run into before, is giving Noble Cane Cola a taste that is uncommon to any cola I’ve had.  While a cola at heart, I’m getting a rather dirty, rooty taste as well.  Don’t take “dirty” as a negative; it’s just a rather raw earthy taste with the smallest hints of a licorice twist at the end.  Thankfully the carbonation is a background player in this performance, keeping the mouth-feel rather smooth for a cola.  This allows me to easily take in the flavors presented before me.

My mouth is left with a bit of a flavored coating, but since it mirrors the original taste I have no qualms with that.  It really is a strange cola, but it gets me excited to try more of their line up as it shows they really want to have a different product on the market.  So many colas are just knock-offs that are trying to get into an already over populated taste type.  Swamp Pop Noble Cane Cola didn’t even try to taste like the other guys and took a risk in doing so.  Personally I think the risk was worth it.  Sure, it’s a little syrupy and the flavor might not agree with all cola enthusiasts, but all in all this is a pretty solid soda.

~A

Edit:  The flavor was FIGS!  I went to their website to double check something and found out that this cola is flavored with figs.  Wow, I'm happy I went into this blind, but I feel like I led you astray.  Ah well, now you know...well those of you who read reviews twice.

This soda was supplied to us by Swamp Pop

Gross Gus's Pimple Pop

I’ve never met Alice and Diane, but if I did I’d cautiously hug them.  I’d hug them because they’ve been so very kind to purchase sodas for me to review just on the knowledge that I enjoy doing so.  I’d hug them cautiously because even though they seem to be kind ladies they always present me with an “interesting” soda to try.  Take today’s soda for example.  I’m about to drink a soda called Pimple Pop by Gross Gus and somewhere Alice and Diane are laughing at me.  That’s ok; it’s the best kind of soda… free.  Now of course Pimple Pop isn’t puss flavored soda, it’s marshmallow.  Why does a marshmallow soda need to exist?  Let’s find out together shall we, but before that one thing.  I know of zero people that pronounce it marshMALLOW.  Everyone I know says marshMELLO.  How do you pronounce it and where are you from?  Send your answers to the Nickelodeon Studios and you could win a trip to Orlando, Florida!

Hnnnggg, that’s a sweet smelling soda.  I mean it’s a sugar sweetened soda, but jeez.  Marshmallow essence (chemicals) have certainly been liquefied and poured into this bottle.  Going by smell alone I’m not really sure if I’m ready to experience this.  Curse you Alice and Diane.  Curse you and your kindness.

Twist is dismayed by what's before him

Surprise!  I don’t particularly like liquid chemical marshmallows.  In other news, Gross Gus (an Indian Wells Brewing Co. brand) makes a fairly realistic marshmallow soda.  The carbonation is at the proper level to keep this soda from being too syrupy while allowing to it to bite the back of your throat.  Truthfully, this could be confused as a cream soda that just went a bit heavy on the cream and then decided to pour nonsense into the ingredient vat.  One aspect I did not expect to find is the “diet” taste that greets me at the beginning of each sip.  I assume that’s a result of the ingredients used. 

An almost fuzzy curtain of syrup sits within all the crevasses of my teeth after my mouth is empty of soda.  It is now in my best interest to take another sip just to remove this feeling from my mouth.  Sadly this takes me on the same ride I just got off.  Take a sip, diet taste, marshmallow cream, fuzzy teeth.  Sip, diet, cream, teeth. Sidicreeth.  I want off, now.  I don’t like Gross Gus’s Pimple Pop .  It doesn’t taste horribly, but it’s certainly not good either.  At the beginning of this review I would have said “buy a bottle”, but the flavor wears on itself in a detrimental fashion thus lowering its overall quality.

~A

Blenheim Ginger Ale Old #3 Hot

So this soda was given to me by you.  Your donations purchased this soda and I’m eternally grateful.  Perhaps “eternally” is a bit of a reach as I’ll probably forget you gave me this soda three years down the road, but I’m still very grateful to have such wonderful readers.  What you purchased for me was Blenheim Ginger Ale and since the label is red it’s the “hot” version.  It doesn’t say that it’s spicy anywhere on the bottle, but where I purchased this from has a “hot” version with a red top and a “not so hot” version with a gold top.  A quick look at the official Blenheim webpage tells me what I’m about to consume the “Old #3 Hot” version of their ginger ale.  Here’s the listed description:

Our boldest flavor that tantalizes and tingles the taste buds, and goes down as smoothly as a firecracker exploding in your throat. Some say its sinus clearing heat snatches their breath away for a bit, while others thrive on the explosion of spicy ginger essence.

Well that’s something I always wanted to experience, a firecracker exploding in my throat.  Here’s another fun fact:  Blenheim has been around since 1903 and are one of the earliest independent makers of soda.  I’m simultaneously intrigued and terrified of this recent development.  Smell test!

Yay a pop top!  I always feel a bit manlier when the cap doesn’t screw off for some reason.  Speaking of manly, the scent of this ginger ale is strong and fiery.  I think my years of experience has prepared me for whatever this soda is about to dish out in terms of heat, so let’s do this.

Well I was mistaken.  This is the hottest ginger burn I’ve ever experienced.  I let out three audible “woo’s” after my first sip.  For this next drink I’m going to time out how long the burn lasts.  Here we go…

Twist is slowly backing away

A full minute later the sizzle in the back of my throat has calmed down to a simmer.  The 15 seconds that begin and end that minute of pain are what I would expect out of a strong ginger beer.  In between those 15 second book ends is 30 seconds of uncomfortable fire.

If you can look past the mouth flame, the flavor of Blenheim Ginger Ale is quite nice and smooth.  It’s not too sugary, but sweet enough to feel like a treat.  The carbonation levels could be brought down a smidge to lessen the burn and improve the overall mouth feel.  So this is a better than average ginger ale if you can look past the obvious.

Sadly with each sip I take those qualities quickly vanish as Blenheim become less of a ginger ale and more of a gag gift.  The caustic feeling at the back of my throat is not pleasant.  Years ago I couldn’t finish a ginger beer because of the burn it produced.  Gradually, in all my soda reviews I’ve come to enjoy the feeling and experience that a good ginger beer gives.  Blenheim Ginger Ale is only something you drink to remind yourself that you’re alive.  I cannot suggest anyone try this, but I will say that I’d really like to try their “not so hot” version.  I bet Blenheim makes a great ginger ale, this one is just too much for me.

~A

Chocolate-Covered Maple Smoked Bacon Soda

I’m looking at the title of this article and sighing.  Chocolate-Covered Maple Smoked Bacon Soda will henceforth be known as Choc-Bacon Soda.  Now I’ve had bacon soda and I’ve had chocolate soda, but if my records are correct I’ve never had the c-c-c-combo.  Part of me thinks that this is trying a bit too hard to be “fun”.  On the flip side, another part of me is saying “that’s what soda is all about, fun!”  The fact that it’s specifically “Maple Smoked” makes me happy.  They could have made chocolate bacon flavored soda and called it a day, but they did not.  This is specifically flavored to taste like it was smoked with maple.  A quick look at the ingredients tells me that the flavor created is purely by chemicals, with the sweetening agent being cane sugar.  Oh wait… there’s also salt listed.  Goody.

Putting my nose to the mouth of the bottle I’m happy to experience a mostly chocolate aroma.  There is hardly a scent of bacon to be found.  In fact if I were to take a blind scent test I would believe chocolate was running solo with this delicious smell.

Twist abhors chocolate covered anything

Well I’m happy to say that the taste mirrors the aroma.  It seems the makers of Choc-Bacon Soda knew they might have more repeat buyers if the soda inside was tasty and not just “wacky”.  The immediate taste is that of chocolate syrup mixed with cola.  A sensation you must try if you haven’t already.  Next in line to the ride known as my taste buds is the maple.  Maple merely whispers to my taste buds, adding more of a syrup taste that I feel on the back end of each sip.  Next up would naturally be the bacon, but I honestly can’t taste it.  Perhaps the bacon flavor is breaking up what would be an overload of sugar given off by the chocolate and maple.  Maybe that’s the function, to make this beverage palatable.

The carbonation levels are excellent with enough fizz to make each sip seem lively.  So there you have it, this is a pretty tasty concoction, but I’m put at an odd place.  Do I rank this highly because it tastes good or do I knock off points because the label tells me I’d be tasting a Choc-Bacon Soda.  I’m thrilled to find another delicious soda on the market, but I do not taste the premier flavor on the label.  In this case I feel it still deserves a good ranking, but not what its potential could have driven it to.  What’s interesting is that if the bacon flavor were more powerful I’d probably rank this on the sad end of our scale.  Curious soda, this Choc-Bacon Soda.

~A

Gross Gus's Pirate Piss

Well those two lovely ladies, Alice and Diane, have saddled me with a bevy of terribly named sodas once again.  The first and least repulsive sounding of the four is a bottle of Pirate Piss.  How this is the least disgusting of the group will only be revealed in time.  For now I find it important to tell you that the actual flavor of this beverage is not Pirate Piss.  I’m sure several of you are taken aback that this bottle isn’t full of scurvy urine.  Thankfully the side of the bottle lets me know that this is indeed banana soda sweetened with sugar and a host of chemicals.  For realism purposes though they really did a great job on getting a dark urine color for the soda.  Moving on.

Twist will never know the satisfaction of an empty bladder

Pirate Piss has a banana scent that is fainter than I originally expected.  I assumed that if you’re going to have an outrageous name it would be backed up by an outrageous experience.  Honestly, they shouldn’t be faulted too much as banana doesn’t carry a strong aroma in the wild either.  Perhaps the taste will be the difference maker.

The carbonation within Gross Gus’s Pirate Piss is powerful.  Stinging bubbles rush at my lips and tongue, diverting my attention from the flavor with their abundance.  Bananas, to me, illicit a smooth sensation in the flavor department.  I never think of a banana flavored anything giving me reason for recoil due to mouth feel alone.  Once the over the top fizz goes away I’m left with a banana flavor that favors candy and not fruit.  This does not surprise me in the slightest.  Thankfully this candy banana taste isn’t overly sweet which allows me to go back for repeat swigs without being overpowered by sugar, something I do not think would be possible if this was sweetened with HFCS.  If you like banana sweets you’ll probably like Pirate Piss.  On the other hand, if you’re not on the banana train then you should probably steer clear of this soda.

Gross Gus’s Pirate Piss is a banana soda that is ultimately average in its delivery.  The good portions of this soda are buried so far within a carbonated curtain that they never truly have the chance to shine.

~A

Empire Bottling Works Spruce Beer

Spruce Beer, would you try it?  I’m about to, but I’m quite uncertain what it will taste like.  Empire Bottling Works makes this particular Spruce Beer although I’ve never seen another on the market.  A look at the ingredients isn’t much help either.  Carbonated natural artesian spring water (really?), 100% cane sugar, extract flavor, citric acid, and sodium benzoate (yum yum) are what make up Spruce Beer.  You know what might have been helpful?  They could make the listing of “extract flavor” more than just a legal requirement if they told us exactly what it was an extract of.  Personally, I hope the extract is spruce.  I hope I’m about to enjoy a tree soda.

The stains on the label are sadly not part of the art.  In shipping a root beer was lost to the pressures of claustrophobia. 

This smells like tree soda, manly candles, and Vicks VapoRub.  I don’t want to drink it.  My hesitation is due to the fact that I never want to stop smelling it.  Granted I could just grab some Vicks out of my medicine cabinet, but it wouldn’t be the same.  Sigh… no use in stalling.  Time to try this truly uniquely scented soda.

As putrid as this tastes I’m laughing.  All of those aromas listed in the previous paragraph… this is liquid THAT.  Each sip is like a loved one rubbing Vicks VapoRub on my chest then on my tongue.  If you’re unfamiliar with Vicks (which needs to be remedied if true) then just replace every instance of Vicks with PineSol… minus the lemon scent.  The initial taste of Empire Bottling Works isn’t that bad, but it rapidly falls into a “Do Not Buy” spiral of taste. 

I don’t want any more of this.  It’s like this soda answered some unasked question of what would tree soda taste like.  Some pinesap, needles, and carbonated water would do in a pinch to replicate the sensation.  As unusual as this is I can’t suggest you try it.  I’m happy Spruce Beer exists in the world I live in because it truly shows innovention, but dear me it is terrible.

~A

Sodafruit Pashun Froot Soda

If a bottle of soda could talk then this bottle in front of me would have an epic tale.  It started in New Zealand and boarded a wooden box with three of its friends.  This wooden box toured the world for about a month and a half before arriving at my doorstep.  Who knows what adventures it had out on the open seas, gallivanting with pirates and the like.  Upon opening said wooden box I was happy to see my new friend, a bottle of Sodafruit Pashun Froot Soda.  A particularly fun name that allows you to say the words in reverse order and still have the same beverage.  Exciting to try this new (not on the market yet) soda from Sodafruit I has no hesitation that I’d love it.  Then I saw the seeds. 

The seeds of a passion fruit are obvious especially when they reside in a delightful orange soda.  They look like a smaller version of a watermelon seed measuring about ¼ of an inch in length.  I asked the CEO of Sodafruit about this off putting look and he assured me that the best flavor he can make with a passion fruit involves the seeds.  Not being a soda maker I must trust this judgment, but I still researched it.  Passion fruit seeds are incredibly good for you, so while my tentativeness still lingers my fear of death has quelled. 

Why should I worry?  Why should I care?  This is from Sodafruit, one of my favorite makers of soda products.  They’ve never steered me wrong before, why would it now?  The ingredients listed are Carbonated Water, Cane Sugar, Passion Fruit Pulp, Lemon Juice, Spices, and a preservative that keeps it from fermenting.  See, nothing to worry about.

Interestingly enough I have no personal knowledge of the singled out flavor of a passion fruit.  A quick look into our database shows me I’ve never even had a passion fruit soda.  I’ve had sodas that use passion fruit in combination, but never just a passion fruit.  The time is ripe to try one.

Since there is a fair amount of pulp and seeds involved with this beverage I’m going to upend it prior to opening.  WOW, it’s like the tropics punched me in the nose.  An overwhelming aroma of passion fruit charges from the mouth of the bottle.  Immediately inviting my taste buds to the party it’s holding inside.  There’s no reason that I should show up fashionably late to this soiree.

Oddly enough, Twist isn't the seediest character in this picture

It’s like I’m biting into a fruit.  Since I’ve never had a passion fruit I can only assume this is what one tastes like.  When “passion fruit pulp” pulp is your third ingredient it’s a safe bet your soda tastes like passion fruit.  Flavor aside, it’s the reaction this has with my mouth and the feel of the beverage that is reminding me of enjoying a tropical fruit.  A dash of carbonation adds to the citrusy punch of the added lemon juice.  This zesty sensation keeps the soda from feeling too heavy or syrupy, allowing you to go back for more without it feeling overly heavy.

 As far as the seeds are concerned, the majority of them are content to sit plainly at the bottom of the bottle.  Occasionally one swims up to go on its last hurrah and it’s at this point I’m not sure if I could chew them or just swallow them whole.   Swallowing them whole seems to be the best bet for me, but if you decided to chew that wouldn’t create an issue for you either.  Now that I’m nearing the bottom of the bottle the seed to liquid ratio is tilting toward heavy seed.  This caused the mouth feel of my last sip to be a bit bumpy, which I could definitely see being off putting for some.

Now here’s where I ask myself would I rather a lower quality passion fruit soda if it meant taking out the seeds?  No, I wouldn’t.  Sodafruit Pashun Froot Soda may be a bit off putting to look at, but it’s excellent in all aspects.  Perhaps a few less seeds would bump up the score to perfection, but like I said earlier… it’s a work in progress.

~A

This soda provided to us by Sodafruit

Canada Dry Hot

So normally I'd just link you to Episode 46 - The Popcast Spectacular and call it a day, but we spent nearly $10 on this 3oz can so I figured it was worth giving a written review to.  Actually YOU spent nearly $10 on this can because we bought it with your donations!  Thank you so very much for donating so that we can review international beverages such as this!

Just so you're aware this review was written after we recorded the Podcast, but is written using my memory of the situation.  The rating used will by mine (Aaron) and everything below this paragraph will be accurate to my initial opinions of the soda at hand.

I think what called us to Canada Dry Hot other than the fact that it's a Japanese soda, is that it seems like a really good idea from the get go.  Hot ginger ale just works well within the logical portions of my mind.  The fact that Coke did a ton of research to allow cans to be heated without issue makes me believe that there was a market that agreed with my mind.  The last time a market agreed with my mind we got burnable CD's and I think we all know how successful that is.  Oh, you didn't know I invented that technology?  Well I didn't, but as a kid I had the idea so that counts for something... be it less than .001%.  

This isn't the time to talk about what could have been, it's the time to talk about what's in front of me.  I have a tiny can of soda with Japanese writing all over it.  All I know is that this can contains Canada Dry Hot Ginger Ale.  To prepare this liquid within this can for consumption we've taken a few steps.  Normally there would be a heated vending machine on the street and we'd just pick out what we wanted and drink it.  Since "normally" is in Japan we're going to have to heat this up through our own methods.  We got a pot of water boiling on the stove and we're going to remove it from its heat source.  Now we shall place the can in the heated water until we become too nervous to let it sit any longer.  Perhaps we'll drape a towel over it as well because we're terrified.  

As we're waiting I'm in a permanent flinch phase.  I know that Coke has designed these cans to be heated, but my brain still finds this to be so out of the ordinary it's worried.  Ok, ten minutes seems good.  Removing the can with a pair of tongs we're ready to crack 'er open, but need a pair of gloves to do so because of the heat coming off the can.  It's incredibly weird seeing steam come out of a soda can as I pour it into this mug.

The aroma that I'm experiencing is wonderful.  It smells like a light apple cider and makes me wish for a few more weeks of winter.  When I'm greeted with a bouquet like this I often pretend I'm in the comic strip Calvin and Hobbes.  Their winters always seemed to be so much fun and I could almost feel the warmth of the fireplace.  Sadly though I only have this mug to enjoy, so I best get to enjoying it.

It's always a treat when the aroma accurately represents the taste.  Science probably says it should happen more often than not, but to me it seems to be about a 50/50 shot.  For the record our heating time and method worked flawlessly.  This is a fantastic sipping temperature and I wouldn't change a thing about it.  Each tiny sip I'm taking is filled the same light apple flavor I inhaled.  The spices used coat the back of my throat causing the slightest of burns, but adding to the overall effect of the beverage.  Only when I pull the can away does the ginger ale make itself known and it does indeed taste like a hot Canada Dry.  Thankfully the initial flavors seep into every second of my drinking experience, improving even the aftertaste.  Placing my face over the mouth of the mug builds a smile on my face and an anticipation of what is to come.  Another sip taken takes me on the same winding path of apple, spice, and finally ginger ale.  It's a combination that would be difficult to find error in as it creates its own nostalgia for a beverage I've never had before.  

While the carbonation seemed plentiful at the pour, like the world in The Neverending Story it has all but disappeared.  We're left with a single grain of sand to rebuild from and that is plenty considering what it has to work with.  

Canada Dry Hot will probably go down as the highest rated big name soda we've tried to date.  Would I spend $10 more dollars to get a second can?  I  might, but that's still nonsensically expensive for what it is.  Hopefully one day this product will make its way to America or at least become cheaper to get our hands on.

~A

Your donations brought us this beverage

So much Japanese

Pure Sodaworks Hibiscus Lemon

I’ve never been one to drink flowers.  This is why I’ve saved the Pure Sodaworks Hibiscus Lemon for last.  Honestly I’m afraid I’ll hate.  Let’s see if I can guess what’s in it before I look at the ingredients.

The Soda Jerk’s Guess:  Sparkling Water, Pure Cane Sugar, Hibiscus, Lemon Juice.

Actual Ingredients:  Sparkling Water, Pure Cane Sugar, Hibiscus Flowers, Lemon Peel.

I feel I did pretty well, but I’m surprised to see this only contains lemon peel.  Perhaps the hibiscus flavor that I am so very unsure of will finally win me over in this form.  The soda is a pleasant rose color and WOW there is a bonkers amount of sediment in this bottle.  Ah well, when in Houston.

This smells not unlike a fruity tea with a squeeze of lemon.  With a deep inhalation I also get a flowery scent that while pleasant to the nose worries the mouth.  A little worry never did me any favors, so I feel it’s time to drink.

Now if it were dandelion lime...

It’s like I’m drinking an all-natural ginger ale while walking through a rose garden.  The sweet aroma coming from the pedals mixes with the flavors within my mouth.  A second sip reveals that Hibiscus Lemon starts to stack on itself quickly.  Another visit sweetens the taste and brings out the hibiscus even more.  It still reminds me of a ginger ale, but that memory is quickly fading… fading… gone.  The confusing sensation of consuming the scent of a flower is now at the forefront.  I don’t exactly enjoy the taste I’m living, but I’m happy to see a legitimate hibiscus soda.

Each time I stop drinking to write my lips develop the flavor of a fruit tea.  It seems the scent I initially identified was also present in the flavor.  The lemon peel is hardly noticed and if I didn’t see the words on the label I wouldn’t even know it was there. 

Sigh.  I can tell this was masterfully made, but hibiscus flavored soda just isn’t for me.  Fruit flavored teas are a favorite of mine, but that’s only a sliver of the flavors I’m experiencing.  I’m afraid my writing skills have failed me in trying to describe this sensation, but I don’t hesitate to tell you that I think you should try it for yourself.  Perhaps just a bottle to start.

~A

This soda was provided to us by Pure Sodaworks