Deerfield Vanilla Cream Soda

Walgreen’s is capable of making great soda!  Yes it’s true, folks.  Now that the initial shock of that statement has hopefully worn off, and you’ve read the reviews I linked proving such a statement, let’s move on.  Today’s review is of Deerfield Vanilla Cream Soda brought to us by one Dan Dub.  Dan actually brought us a bottle of this a year or so ago but it got lost in the wibbly wobbly timey wimey.  So I made my way to the local Walgreens and picked up a bottle for myself.  For those who didn’t read the linked reviews let me tell you that Deerfield sodas are sweetened with sugar and not HFCS.  Nuff said?  Yes, nuff said.

Oooh.  The scent off the top is like amazing butterscotch.  As mentioned before butterscotch is a love of mine and this wafting scent is going to cut short its own description.

While not as amazingly butterscotchy as I thought it could be there are definite tones of it.  The scent portrayed an amazing level of butterscotch while the consumption gives you about half that.  Deerfield Vanilla Cream Soda starts off smooth, but then its mouth feel falls short.  About halfway through the drink experience the smooth just cuts off.  It’s like that feeling when you just got through with the main part of a roller coaster and you’re taxiing back to the load/unload part.  There you are laughing, having a good time, remembering what you just experienced and BAM the roller coaster stops abruptly waiting for the next coaster in line to be loaded.  Your harness is now digging into all the wrong regions, and for that brief moment you don’t even remember having a great time on the ride… just how uncomfortable you are.  That’s how my time with Deerfield Vanilla Cream Soda is going.  Obviously it’s not uncomfortable but the experience feels incomplete.  During the first, more enjoyable, half of this beverage it compares to A&W Cream Soda in its smooth factor… actually surpassing it.  The carbonation is quite subtle allowing for such creaminess to exist.  When that comes to a grinding halt you’re left with what tastes like the aftertaste to an inferior product.  “Well of course it’s like an aftertaste… that’s what comes after the taste right?”  Yes, Timmy… the after taste comes after the taste, but not when there is still soda in your mouth.  Even though Deerfield Vanilla Cream Soda uses sugar I can’t excuse it’s lack of a second act.  With that said know that its rating could have been higher.

~A

It's impossible for Twist to only do things half way.

Thomas Kemper Black Cherry

Not too long ago my mother and step-father gave me a bottle of Thomas Kemper Black Cherry Soda.  Apparently they bought it from a nifty little shop in Rockwall, TX (near Dallas) called The Candy Jar Malt Shop which I have now conveniently linked.  We all know Thomas Kemper makes great stuff... well if you read the site for any amount of time you know that.  If you didn’t know that then you should probably read more of the site and tell all of your friends to do the same.  Your friends will then tell all of their friends and eventually we’ll become the only multi-billion dollar soda review site in the world.  To make a non-existent story short I’m happy I’m about to review a Thomas Kemper product!  I’m thirsty so I think I’m just going to go to the review portion now.

Thomas Kemper Black Cherry does indeed smell like black cherry soda… flavored cough syrup.  While cough syrups sometimes have a wonderful taste I’m still a bit worried about the story my ol’ nose just told.  Drinky drink time!

Cough syrup this is not.  Thomas Kemper Black Cherry soda has a robust flavor all the way through your drinking experience.  The initial taste is crisp and hits your tongue screaming “BLACK CHERRY!” at the top of its imaginary lungs.  After the initial crisp hit of black cherry the flavor doesn’t even back down for a second.  For the entirety of its duration in your mouth you are made very aware of the fact that you are consuming a black cherry soda.  The flavor could be more powerful, but it would honestly be too much for most people to enjoy if it was.  So far the only downside I’ve noticed is that the aftertaste is a little syrupy but I’m sure that has to do with their use of honey.  The carbonation is fairly high but once again works very well with the whole experience.  I’ve now finished my bottle before finishing my review… that’s both a good sign and something that rarely ever happens.  Overall, Thomas Kemper Black Cherry is a very fizzy black cherry soda with the slightest taste of honey.  You should be able to open a bottle of black cherry soda and pretty much predict what you’re about to taste.  Thomas Kemper Black Cherry doesn’t disappoint in the slightest putting IBC Black Cherry now at 2nd place on my black cherry soda list.

~A

Twist can make black cherries appear at will.

F&N Sarsi

“The Original Sarsi”.  That’s what I have in front of me today.  Technically it’s F&N Sarsi but I honestly don’t know if that makes a difference.  You see this can of Sarsi is from Singapore, brought to me by the MMAgician.  F&N Sarsi is manufactured and distributed by Coca-Cola Singapore Beverages Pte. Ltd.  I’m guessing it’s a fairy mainstream drink over there.  Maybe I’ll do a little more digging on Sarsi.  If you find these next few sentences <surrounded by alligators> informative at all that means I did in fact do some digging. <Sarsi, it’s just so fun to type, is a sarsaparilla based beverage sold in South East Asia.  Ok, we’re making some sense here… Sarsi/Sarsparilla… I see what they did there.  Fun fact!  According to Wikipedia, Sarsi was the subject of a 1985 film called It’s a Drink, It’s a Bomb, where a grenade was disguised as a can of Sarsi.> Sarsi seems to have a pretty short ingredient list.  Let’s read shall we?  Carbonated Water, Sugar, Flavourings, Caramel, Citric Acid and Preservative.  They seem to hide stuff a little better over in Singapore.  I know not if the “Flavourings” are naturally or chemically spawned.  I also don’t know what the “Preservative” is.  It could be formaldehyde or Sodium Benzoate.  Fingers crossed for formaldehyde!  Seeing as I don’t know what Sarsi should even begin to taste like (since I haven’t looked it up yet as of typing this) I’m interested to open up this stumpy maroon can.

One.   That was the most difficult opening of a can I’ve ever been a part of.  Two.  This smells like dreams.  Sarsi smells of root beer, Dr. Pepper, and peppermint, COMBINED!  While intrigued even more I’m now experiencing a bit of fear as well.  Ah well, who else can say that they’re drinking a Singapore soda today?  NOT YOU!  Unless of course you’re reading this in Singapore… in that case thanks for the readership you handsome/beautiful devil you.

Whoa… that tastes nothing like Dr. Pepper or peppermint.  Sarsi tastes of carbonated black licorice with a hint of root beer.  Mike (remember Mike?) says that birch beer tastes of licorice, while I thought it tasted so similarly to root beer that they wasted time re-naming it birch beer.  There were fights abound on the subject, one eventually coming to fisticuffs.  Sarsi on the other hand tastes like they soaked a handful of black licorice jellybeans in a diluted root beer concoction.  If you remember from the research above you will understand that half of my review isn’t that far off.  Sarsi is a sarsaparilla based soda so that explains the root beer.  I guess one of the “flavourings” could be licorice but we’ll never know.  Thanks Coke!  Thoke!  Sarsi’s carbonation to flavour ratio works very well for itself, but carbonation sits on the back burner when you have such an interesting flavour as we do here.  With that said Sarsi is in fact very different from anything I’ve tried up to this point.  While my joy of drinking it has increased throughout this review, I just can’t see myself purchasing a pack of Sarsi.  Therefore.

~A

Twist's blood is actually Sarsi, but not the kind you find in stores... the life granting kind.

Maine Root Lemon Lime

Ok, I may discredit myself as a soda review by saying this but… lemon lime soda is boring.  Wait, wait, wait!  Don’t leave just yet; let me explain.  A good lime soda isn’t boring, in fact it’s one of my most coveted sodas.  A good lemon soda… well I haven’t really had one to write home about yet, but it’d be unique.  Lemon Lime soda though… well in my opinion has the biggest chance to be a very boring soda.  It’s so overdone and the flavor is never anything spectacular.  Sure I love 7up, but I’m not going to shove a bottle into your hand unless I find out you’re sick.  Sure I tolerate Sierra Mist, but I’m not going to force you to drink it unless you want the clear carbonated liquid from Taco Bell.  Sure I don’t really like Sprite.  Wait for it… nothing.  So today I’m giving Maine Root (a highly ranked soda company by our standards) a chance with their Maine Root Lemon Lime Soda.  Already looking through the bottle I can tell you that this has a ridiculous amount of sediment.  I’m looking at pieces so large I could literally chew them.  Already Maine Root Lemon Lime Soda has taken a turn for the unique, a place few lemon lime sodas ever go.  Let’s smell it shall we?

My nostrils greet a familiar smell.  This smells like lemon lime Twang.  Now I’m sure I’ve mentioned Twang in a past review but I’m feeling far too lazy to search for it at this moment.  If the word “integer” is a link in this sentence then you’ll know I became un-lazy and found it.  As I was saying the scent coming from this bottle is a very sharp and sour lemon lime aroma.  Honestly I’m excited!  Hopefully here goes something!

Wow this does taste a little like Twang, but without the instant throat fire.  It’s like a super lemon lime soda that allows you to taste the individual lemon and lime flavors.  The carbonation factor works well with the taste and burns you just a little bit more after you’re done with your sip.  I really thought I’d be able to feel the sediment drifting down my gullet on each sip much like I would experience in a Boba tea… or the ill-fated Orbitz.  Since I wrote that last sentence you should easily deduce that I can’t feel the sediment at all.  Hooray for no icky sediment feeling!  All in all this is a great lemon lime soda, and while I wouldn’t say it completely makes my “lemon lime is boring” argument null and void it does a lot for its own cause.

~A

Lemon Lime Iguana Goodness!

Old Town Root Beer

A while back we reviewed Old Town Root Beer –Sarsparilla.  Today we shall review its seemingly twin brother… Old Town Root Beer Company – Root Beer.  For the sake of keeping the number of times I write out the word “Root Beer,” we’re just going to call it Old Town Root Beer.  Fun fact!  Old Town Root Beer has an @msn.com e-mail address.  I dunno why I put that in the review, I guess I just found it kind of amusing.  It’s not @aol.com amusing, but amusing nonetheless.  Old Town Root Beer has a short but quality ingredient list including Carbonated Water (who’d have guessed?!)  Cane Sugar, Honey, Natural and Other Flavors ("Other Flavors" always scares me a bit) Sodium Benzoate, Phosphoric Acid, and rounding out the batting order is Real Vanilla!  The label… how can I say this tactfully… looks like someone decided one day that they wanted to start making root beer out of their house and didn’t even try to learn any graphic design, so they just found a neat clip art picture.  Well to be honest with you it’s exactly one step above that.  Anywho, hopefully the flavor makes me forget about it. 

This certainly passes the smell test!  I can most definitely smell the vanilla, but it’s not so over powering that it blinds my nose to the fact that it’s about to consume a root beer.  Smellwise this passes with flying colors.  On with the tasting!

This doesn’t surprise me after smelling it but this is a tasty root beer.  There’s not a lot of carbonation going on here, but that just adds to the potential smoothness of the beverage.  I will say though that your tongue is hit with an initial shock of bubble fun.  After this, the vanilla begins to seep in and takes you to a smoother place.  This isn’t baby’s bottom smooth… what a gross comparison to a root beer that would be.  Old Town Root Beer is Pepe Le Pew smooth.  This is the sentence where I should tell you who Pepe Le Pew is, but if you don’t know you probably shouldn’t tell me, as I will go into a blind rage.  Anywho… Pepe Le Pew always seemed to be a rather smooth talking character.  He had all the lines, all the moves, didn’t rush anywhere… smooth right?  Well yes, until he actually had to deliver said smoothness to the cat with unfortunate skunk marks (Penelope for those playing at home) he was chasing.  He would gradually make his way over to Penelope and force his smoothness upon her, which of course she would not have any part of since he smelled like a skunk.  Still he tried and tried and tried, each time removing a bit of his smoothness with each failure.  That’s what Old Town Root Beer’s smoothness is like.  It’s initially very smooth, but there’s something at the end of the drink that reminds me a little bit of green NyQuil.  While tasty, I feel that Old Town Root Beer could be improved upon by adding some spice to the flavor.  The way it sits now makes for an above average root beer, but I can’t help but think this could be improved upon.  Either way… this should be tried.

~A

Twist is actually much older than the Old Town Root Beer Company

Retro 7Up

How happy I was when I saw that I could finally enjoy a 7up made with sugar.  You see 7Up was my mother’s healing elixir of choice and I’m pretty sure that you could cure the world’s ails if you just gave everyone enough 7Up and Premium saltine crackers.  If this belief is what my love of 7up hinges on… I honestly don’t know.  I do know that it’s the best tasting mainstream lemon lime brand out there.  Sprite has too “smacky” an aftertaste and Sierra Mist is almost void of any good flavor.  7up sits there in the happy middle ready to quench my thirst and balance my humors.  This Retro 7Up comes in a fantastically 70’s style bottle and begs for me to try it.  I’m so very happy I didn’t get one of the gaudy cans this beverage also comes in as I’m pretty sure half of my experience would be ruined.  Sniff test!

This should be short.  Guess what?  It smells like 7Up!  For those of you who’ve never had 7up and are old enough to read… here goes.  The light scent of lemon and lime caress my inner nostril, dancing upon my nose as if you tease the connected throat of its existence.  Voila!  Time to drink!

This is exactly what I expected it to be which is good.  I can’t imagine if I tried this Retro 7Up and it tasted like Marshmallow Fluff thus destroying both my perception of 7Up and my mind in general.  No, this tastes like a refreshing 7Up with the added perk that its taste is crisper than a normal 7Up.  There’s not a doubt in my mind that this is due to the fact this is sweetened with sugar instead of Mean Ol’ Mister High Fructose Corn Syrup.  Faux Fact:  That’s the original name of it I promise!  MOMHFCS never caught on so they shortened it to HFCS.  The drink experience itself goes down something like this.  Once this beverage hits your tongue your taste buds are immediately shown that you are drinking a citrus soda.  Just sitting on top of your ‘buds (slang for taste buds, ya like that?) Retro 7Up sizzles and bubbles awaiting the next stage of ingestion. I don’t have a regular 7Up to compare this too but Retro 7Up seems to have lighter bubbles causing a miniscule shock as it races around your mouth, something regular 7Up didn’t have.   As you move the 7Up around your mouth you’re greeted with more fizzing carbonation and the familiar taste of both lemon and lime.  The aftertaste is where things get a little hairy.  You see all is going well in the land of 7Up until I reach the aftertaste.  Let me preface all that I’m about to say (probably three whole sentences) with that I do not dislike this aftertaste… there’s just something a bit off-putting with it.  Regular 7Up with its MOMHFCS… sorry HFCS… sticks to your mouth since it’s a bit more syrupy.  On the other hand Retro 7Up ends like the movie Magnolia… unexpected.  It has a bit of a chemical feel there at the end almost tasting diet.  I’m not quite sure why this is but it’s a disappointing end to what should have been a solid ride.  I just got on the roller coaster of my dreams and it took off thrilling me.  My hat has flown off my head and I’m laughing with my best gal by my side.  Suddenly I’m stabbed in the face with the tiniest of daggers… and then another… and again.  It’s raining!  Thousands of drops of needle rain hit my laughing face contorting it with pain.  Finally the experience ends and I’m not sure whether to cheer or sigh.  That’s Retro 7Up… except I’m sure of which to do.  Sigh.

~A

but it looks so cooooooooool!

Topo-Sabores Peach

Once upon a time there was a boy who wanted a soda.  Not just any soda mind you but a Topo-Sabores Peach soda to be precise.  You see a lion once told the boy that Topo-Sabores Peach soda was delicious but this lion wasn’t always to be trusted since he always seemed to regard Topo-Sabores products at the highest level.  One day a magical wizard named Abel gave the boy a bottle of the peach concoction under one condition… that he review it and put it up in the town square for all to see.  Of course the boy obliged and ran home with his bottle of Topo-Sabores Peach.  When he finally arrived at his home he gazed in wonder at the cool bottle in his hands.  Glancing over the contents of the bottle he noticed that this contained both cane sugar and some form of black magic called high fructose corn syrup.  Confused he decided he better not think about it too much or he might fall ill.    Quickly he broke the seal hoping to get a whiff of what majesty lay before him.

It was certainly peaches, or at least black magic made to taste like peaches, that populated the inside of this container.  While he hadn’t tasted this bubble nectar just yet his nose wouldn’t lie to him… would it?

Putting the lip of the bottle to his own he tilted it back to finally enjoy what the wizard had given him.  A broad smile crossed his face as the sweet peach soda raced across his tongue quickly being chased off by a horde of bubbles giving the soda a sharp contrasting after taste.  This wasn’t as smooth as he believed it would be, as this wasn’t the boys first peach soda, but he enjoyed it nonetheless.  Out of nowhere a dragon came lumbering along flicking its tongue moving closer and closer to the boy’s soda.  Panicking the boy ran off forgetting the Topo-Sabores behind him.  Looking over his shoulder he saw it was too late for him to save his soda… by the look on the dragon’s face it was to be consumed quickly.  The boy’s mood dropped as he remembered how much he enjoyed the peach flavoring, caused by black magic or not.  “Wait a minute,” the boy said allowed, “if a wizard made this for me shouldn’t it be the best soda I’ve ever had?  I mean he is a wizard and all.  This soda is enjoyable but a wizard should be able to create something out of this world.”  With that the boy walked into town square ready to post his review.  “Where is the soda the wizard gave you?  Wasn’t it most special?  Do you think he could make me one?” a passing peasant pondered.  “It was alright.”  The boy responded.  “Don’t bother asking him to make you one though.  You’re better off buying a bottle.”

Epilogue – As the years passed the boy grew and matured.  He made a lot of friends along the way and did some pretty amazing stuff.  That boy grew up to be Abraham Lincoln.

~A

To this day no one knows what happened to the dragon.  Some say he size was exaggerated, others say he still walks among us.  I guess we'll never know.

Bulldog Root Beer

Who's a good iguana? Twist's a good iguana! Who want's a tummy rub? Twist wants a tummy rub!

Bulldog Root Beer, Unleash the Taste!  That’s what the bottle in front of me reads.  When I think of unleashing something I think that I’m going to have such a hard time controlling it that I’m just gonna give up and take it off the leash.  This “thing” that I’m unleashing is going to be powerful, brash, unstoppable, unforgettable, and even dangerous.  I know that they’re probably making a dog pun in this situation but even if that were true they really need to “mean up” the dogs on the label.  These two lovable, dopey (in a good way), looking dogs are just sitting there looking at me waiting for a good tummy rub.  These puppies don’t need to be “unleashed” they need a chew toy and a nap.  Anyway… enough of that.  Bulldog Root Beer is of course a root beer and judging by the ingredients a pretty high quality one at that.  It’s sweetened with a combination of cane sugar and honey but sadly also had sodium benzoate.  I haven’t picked on sodium benzoate in a while so I thought I’d bring it back up.  One thing I notice is that they use “real vanilla”.  That’s how it’s listed on the label… “real vanilla”.  Not once have I ever seen “fake vanilla”.  I’ve seen “vanilla extract” which I what I assume they are separating themselves from by saying “real vanilla” but I found it rather silly to see.  Anywho, it’s time to open up this paw laden bottle and see what we can dig up!  Ha!  I can make dog puns too.

This has a rich creamy root beer smell.  One determining factor of a delicious root beer is when you can actually smell that it’s creamy.   That tells you it’ll probably go great with some Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla Ice Cream.  If you don’t have Blue Bell in your area I’m so very sorry, you’ll have to manage on whatever “Ice Cream” you can get your hands on.  Speaking of “on”… on to the tasting!

Wow that is creamy… if I do say so the creamiest root beer I’ve ever experienced.  Bulldog Root Beer almost has a cream soda finish to it.  The carbonation isn’t really a factor when compared to the flavor and mouth feel.  The mouth feel and aftertaste is so smooth it’s almost buttery.  Now I know that buttery root beer sounds gross but I don’t mean that kind of butter.  The after taste I’m getting here is very similar to that of butterscotch.  I’m a big fan of butterscotch so this ranks very high with me.  Fun fact:  The only candy I’ve ever choked on was butterscotch.  My grandfather held me upside down while my grandmother patted me on the back to dislodge it.  The butterscotch must have realized my love of it while being dissolved by my saliva and in a selfless act to save its future brethren tried to murder me.  Anywho… back to what remains of this review.  A lot of times when a soda uses honey to sweeten it’s one of the main things you taste; this is not the case for Bull Dog Root Beer.  I’m thinking the honey paired with the cane sugar is what’s cutting that honey flavor I so often find when sampling a Thomas Kemper or the like.  Here is the part where I apologize for mocking “real vanilla”.  That “real vanilla” is surely a large part of why I’m loving this so very much.  It’s adding just the right amount of “smooth” to the flavor to set it apart from other root beers.  It’s not hard to find subtle differences in root beer.  They can be made so many different ways you’re not going to find one that immolates another just right.  The real reward is when you find a root beer that has differences that could be spotted from space.  Bulldog Root Beer is one of those root beers.  As of today we’ve reviewed 30 root beers and I can’t think of one that gives you an experience like the one I have in front of me today.

A “Twist’s Choice” Recipient

Stander - Mint Soda

   “We're a German based non-alcoholic mint flavoured Premium Soda”.  Those are some of the words written to me in an e-mail by the nice people at Ständer.  Of course I had to oblige.  There isn’t much in that description that I could say no to for very long.  What I got from them was a package of Ständer soda along with a coaster and a bar napkin.  I have so many questions now!  Will I hate this?  Will I love it?  Am I hip enough to drink something from an 8 oz. black metal bottle?  Will this freshen my breath in any way?  Going back one question and speaking of the 8 oz. black metal bottle… this is some of the coolest packaging I’ve ever seen associated with a soda.  Looking at the ingredients on the side I feel even better about my soon to be consumed beverage:  Filtered Sparkling Water, Natural Beet Sugar, Natural Lemon and Spearmint Flavor, Citric Acid, Natural Caffeine, Vitamins B6, B12, B7 and B5.  The only bit of color on the black bottle is a picture of three mint leaves (in the appropriate color) with the words “mint your mind” underneath them.  I’m not really sure what “minting my mind” consists of but I’m willing to try anything once… well not ANYTHING but “soda anything”.  Ok, I can’t handle writing about what this might be like any more.  I have to try it now!

   WOW!  That is certainly filled with mint.  It smells like I just crushed up mint leaves in my hands and inhaled them.  That is THE most unique smelling soda I’ve ever encountered.  Obviously I’ve smelled mint before but never coming out of my soda bottle.  I can’t state the strength of the smell enough.  It’s a very strong, very minty, almost alcoholic (but it’s not) scent.  Enough chatter… time for the drinking.

   Ok… that’s odd.  Initially I experience a refreshing taste that’s light on carbonation.  You can definitely taste the spearmint and as of right now it may be too much for my palate.  I’ve also given a taste of this to my co-worker and he says he liked it but he’s also a huge fan of spearmint.  I’ll include his rating at the end of this review along with mine.  I’m finding that if I take larger sips/gulps it helps with the strong spearmint taste… maybe because the rest of my tongue gets to experience it instead of just a concentrated area.  If I did indeed drink alcoholic beverages this seems like it would mix amazingly with some of them.  Sorry, I haven’t taken you through the drink gamut yet.  Hold on, here we go!  As soon as you drink Ständer you are greeted with that spearmint flavor that I’ve now mentioned too many times.  That washes away leaving a cleaner aftertaste but not letting you forget about the unique flavor you just consumed.  At no point in this process do you ever forget that you’re drinking mint soda and for that they should be applauded.  I’ve reviewed Lavender and Juniper Berry  flavored soda both of which tasted more like somewhat flavored sparkling water.  Ständer on the other hand is not backing off the flavor listed on their label in the slightest.  You take your awesome looking black metal bottle; you beat off the hipsters in the club groping as said bottle trying to look cooler to their respective peers.  Then you open said bottle and inhale what is obviously spearmint.  Drinking it you try not to look too surprised at what you taste, although you are, because if you look surprised you lose the look of “that cool guy with the hip metal bottle.”  Then flocks of hipster chicks/guys make their way toward you so that they too can experience mint soda.  Now… were my questions answered?

Will I hate this?  - No, not at all.  The spearmint flavoring was off putting at first but I got used to it.

Will I love it?  - No, I don’t love it either but I do like it.

Am I hip enough to drink something from an 8 oz. black metal bottle?  - I’m pretty sure this 8 oz. bottle would at least make me feel like I had more cred at a club.

Will this freshen my breath in any way? – As far as I can tell… no, not really.

Were my questions answered? – Well, yes.  You just read them.

(Note: This soda was given to us by Ständer)

The only being in the universe that is scientifically cooler than a Ständer bottle... is Twist

Double Cola

As usual the drink sitting in front of me has yet to be experienced by my taste buds.  Today’s installment shall be titled “Double Cola”.  Double Cola, according to the bottle, has “Double Measure” and “Double Pleasure”.  I find it kind of odd that the word “double” (which is looking less like a word every time I type it) is prominently displayed on this bottle three times.  Double Cola, according to Wikipedia, comes from the Ski line of beverages… none of which I have personally tasted but some of which I’ve been told to.  With that said I fully expect a super strong cola with this one.  Shouldn’t I?  I mean it’s double cola which I assume means double the cola flavor.  Let’s find out shall we?

So far so good!  The force is strong in this one, the cola aroma smacks me in the nose for even trying to work in a Star Wars reference.  C’mon Double Cola, I haven’t had a good cola in a while.  Let YOU be that next great cola I try

This isn’t what I expected at all.  Where’s the bite?  I expected a very strong bite to assault my throat like a hot Coke.  What I got was one of the smoother colas I’ve consumed which I would normally associate with weakness in flavor.  Not here.  Double Cola lives up to its name though, unlike "hilarious reference here", with a strong almost magical cola flavor.  The more I drink this the more I like it.  The deep cola flavor soaks into my mouth making sure I get the most out of each sip.  The cane sugar sweetening this cola makes sure it never feels syrupy during the consumption process.  I know I just said it wasn’t syrupy but the cola flavoring compares closest to cola flavored sno-cone syrup.  Not the sno-cone itself but the highest of rewards that awaits you in the bottom of your sno-cone.  You just thought a sno-cone was a dessert.  No, sir.  The dessert is the 35 milliliters of syrup that sit at the bottom of your Styrofoam cup.  Sorry to all you folks that only had sno-cones in actual paper cones.  Styrofoam cups are where it’s at in the world of sno-cone.  With all that said Double Cola delivered today.  I will now list this as one of the best colas I’ve ever had.  Try it and you will too!

~A

Twist's pleasure was actually tripled.  He knows how to work the system.

Deerfield Concord Grape

   The other day I was frequenting Walgreens because I dislike other pharmacies… not sure why but that’s for another time.  Anyway, I was wandering around Walgreens and checked their soda selection as I so often do.  Normally Walgreens is where I get my Jelly Belly Soda but this time I noticed they had a new flavor of Deerfield Soda… Concord Grape!  Since I hadn’t had a good grape soda in a while I figured Deerfield Concord Grape would fit that bill rather well, being that they tend to make excellent products!  I’ll warn you who haven’t experienced Deerfield Sodas… don’t scoff at this Walgreen’s made soda!  It uses cane sugar and is normally quite the treat!  Let’s open her up!

   Grape just came out of the bottle and smacked me across the face.  I didn’t even get a chance to put my nose near the mouth and I was assaulted with grape aroma.  Taking a now pointless whiff I am once again clearly reminded of what flavor of beverage I’m about to partake in.  This is definitely a top 10 in scent strength of all the sodas I’ve ever tested.  Let’s see if the taste is just as strong.

   The flavor is of course grape and not a weak grape by any means.  It’s more of a smooth grape soda which is a bit off putting to me because I prefer my grape soda with some bite to it.  Drinking this reminds me of the TV show Firefly.  It was a fantastic show and most anyone who sees it will agree with that statement.  Another thing most everyone agrees with is that it was cut short in its run.  That’s the feeling I’m getting with this Deerfield Concord Grape it lacks a solid finish but unlike Firefly it’s actually the fault of the soda not the fault of the show.  Firefly couldn’t help that it was cancelled robbing us of seasons of potential happiness.  Deerfield could have strengthened their soda by adding a bit more carbonation to it… or some sort of finish.  This isn’t to say that it’s not an ok soda… it is but it could have been so much more… so much more… shiny.

~A

Twist ate only grapes from ages 57-102

Thomas Kemper Root Beer

   Hooray for Thomas Kemper sodas!  Cane sugar sweetened with a touch of honey for extra goodness usually spells fantasticness!  Today I have the Root Beer version of Thomas Kemper in front of me and I’m sure I won’t be disappointed.  Here’s a bit of history about Thomas Kemper Root Beer from the side of the bottle.

“One honey of a Root Beer.  This wonderfully rich and complex Root Beer was first brewed for our company Oktoberfest back in 1990.  It quickly became such a hit that we invented Novemberfest.”

   There you have it… the full, 100% complete history of Thomas Kemper Root Beer.  Nothing else can be learned about this soda.  Nothing.  It is all covered in the extensive history written above.  With that said let’s take a whiff.

   Ahh the rich smell of Root Beer is usually a pleasant aroma and this is no exception.  From the smell alone I can hope you taste a very creamy root beer.  Closer to the mouth feel of A&W than of Barq’s but I’m sure tasting better than both… hopefully.

   Hey look at that, I’m right… it’s like I’ve tasted hundreds of sodas.  I haven’t but the cumulative amount of different sodas reviewed by Soda Jerks is over 200.  Once you become a Soda Jerk you enter a state of one consciousness allowing you to experience the taste of all sodas reviewed… but enough of that boring chatter.  This does lean toward the smoother mouth feel of some root beer but not as much as I thought it would.  In fact it seems to live at the corner of Smooth Street and Bite Lane.  I’m sure it’s a nice neighborhood because it’s such a nice taste.  The actual bite of the root beer isn’t incredibly strong but it’s easily noticeable upon each sip.  I go on about how nice the flavor is but there’s nothing ground breaking here.  It’s just a good root beer with some great ingredients.  I’ve had better and I’ve had worse but I’d be happy to drink another Thomas Kemper Root Beer if one was available to me on a menu somewhere.  With that said.

~A

Faux Fact: Twist is heir to the Kemper fortune

Barrilitos Tropical Punch

   I haven’t had a lot of tropical/fruit punch flavored sodas which is one reason I’m happy to have this bottle of Barrilitos Tropical Punch flavored soda in front of me.  Another more obvious reason is the fact that it is of course made with cane sugar since it’s from Mexico.  This is my first Barrilitos soda so I really have no idea what to expect.  Hopefully it’ll be close to an experience with a bottle of Jarritos than one of Caballitos.  I don’t really know what the logo is for Barrilitos but I do know that I like it.  It’s a green circle with a nifty design inside of it comprised of white ovals.  It looks very 1960’s space age if you ask me… which you did since you’re reading this.  Other than a nifty green logo and a textured neck this bottle of Barriltios is rather plain but that’s ok because it looks great with its simplistic design.  Time for a breather.

   I’d assume that tropical punch is a mixture of all sorts of flavors and smells but the one that I can smell the most easily is that of tangerine.  There’s an obvious mixture of fruit coming out of the bottle so this should be an interesting taste sensation.

   The flavor isn’t shy, I’ll tell you that much.  While I can’t discern a particular fruit from the taste I can tell you it seems to be a mixture of citrus and something of the plums/nectarines/peaches variety.  This is a very juicy soda… almost like you’re biting into a nicely ripened plum.  Your tongue immediately feels the punch that is listed on the label as soon as you take your first sip.  As long as the soda is in your mouth you are also aware of the carbonation.  It doesn’t so much attack your mouth as it makes its presence known.  Every holiday you have that one uncle that usually comes over and drinks way too much. (I don’t actually have this person in my family myself but stick with me here… pretend we’re a movie family and the analogy will work so much better.)  Anyway they usually drink way too much and make a huge scene.  Telling the kids inappropriate jokes for example.  Insulting the chair, apologizing to the chair, and eventually hugging the chair because he thinks it’s his father.  Putting lipstick on everything in the house that has lips… a mouth… or even just a face (clocks included).   You get the picture.  The carbonation isn’t that version of your movie uncle, the carbonation is that same uncle the year after he sobers up.  You keep your eyes trained on him waiting for him to make a scene but he doesn’t.  Throughout the night you can’t remove your gaze for the fear that you’ll be attacked with lipstick but still nothing happens.  Your uncle has made you very aware of himself but never making the scene he could be capable of making.  THAT is what the carbonation in this drink compares to.  You are very aware of it but not to the point where it’s apologizing to furniture.  With that said this is an above average drink but barely.  It has a nice flavor, a nice fizz, and decent ingredients… go on and treat yourself.

~A

Twist IS that drunk uncle.

Sioux City Cream Sod

Yee haw, Buckaroos!  What I got here is the rootin-ist, tootin-ist bottle of cream soda this side of the Mississip!  Sioux City Cream Soda!  Of course anything associated with the old west is gonna be made with cane sugar!  Good, simple, old fashioned cane sugar… and sodium benzoate like mom used to make!  Gracing the label art of this cool clear bottle is a real deal cowboy riding his horse to the west… or east… or north… or south… well it really just depends on how you hold the bottle.  Personally I think they missed an opportunity to call this Cowboy Cream Soda because I’d have bought a pack of it off the name alone.  Anywho, I’m powerful thirsty so let’s get this going.

Ahh the sweet smell of cream soda!  While cream soda isn’t my favorite beverage to consume I will argue with just about anyone that it has one of the best aromas out there and Sioux City doesn’t disappoint.   If someone disagrees with me I just might have to hobble your lip.  With that said, it’s time to bend an elbow!

The initial taste of Sioux City Cream Soda isn’t as sweet as I thought it might be but it doesn’t let you down either.  For just a split second I taste what seems like a diet drink only to be quickly covered up by the smooth texture/taste of what should be expected of a cream soda.  The diet flavoring really dry gulches you before giving way to its smoother brethren.  It’s as if you’re watching a magician get ready to pull something out of his hat and you see what you think is a rabbit tucked down in there.  You’re disappointed of course but you still feel the need to see the trick through.  Blammo the Magician then reaches into his hat and pulls out an iguana.  You’re not stunned but you’re left surprised by the outcome.  The smooth mouth feel of Sioux City Cream Soda is nice but it’s not as fine as cream gravy… I’ve had better.  The carbonation level is right where it should be but I find myself not caring that much about it anyway for some reason.  I really thought that since this was made with cane sugar and overall good ingredients I’d be a bit more impressed.  When it comes to figuring out why it didn’t quite do that… well, I’m at sea.  I’m not saying this is shoddy by any means but as far as cream sodas go this one is between hay and grass.

~A

Twist is wanted in over 2 dozen counties.

Caballitos Mandarin

   “Little Horses”.  That’s what Caballitos translates into and that’s the name of the beverage I’m about to consume.  To be technical its mandarin flavored Caballitos.  If I was a more learned man I would know why Mexican sodas seem to popularly end in “itos”.  Jarritos, Barralitos, and now Caballitos.  Hopefully in the next 13.5 fluid ounces (that’s 400 ml for my metric friends) I’ll be a little closer to that answer but probably not.  Since this soda is Mexican I don’t even have to worry about finding HFCS on the ingredients label.  Nope!  Good old sugar is what sweetens this drink!  The bottle art for Caballitos seems to be a horse exploding from underneath a bottle cap.  The explosion caused by said horse apparently disrupted the Universe of Orange as orange pieces are flying hither and thither.  Let’s open ‘er up shall we?

   Huff as I might I only get the slightest of scents from the mouth of the bottle.  The mandarin scent is so very, very faint but we still must press on!  Drink up!

   This is the tamest orange soda I think I’ve had to date.  There is very little carbonation, very little bite, and the flavor is just so very average.  This tastes as if you took Sunkist Orange soda and added 3 parts water but then somehow took away the sensation of “watered down”.  Caballitos Mandarin doesn’t taste like watered down orange soda… it just weakly sits there.  The horse on the side art must be trying to leave the bottle as he is much too powerful of a mascot to be left upon such a mundane bottle of soda.  (Spoilers from The NeverEnding Story are coming up next, so beware Ralph ”The only guy who hasn’t seen The NeverEnding Story” Stevens.)  Sadly, much like Artax from the NeverEnding Story he must sit there and slowly meet his demise.  “Artax, you're sinking! Come on, turn around, you have to, now! Come on! Artax! Fight against the sadness, Artax.”  That scene hurt me so very much as a child.  I was very attached to Artax since we’d been through so much together in that movie.  Then as an adult I watched the movie again.  The horse dies like 10 minutes after you first meet him… TEN MINUTES!  They jarred my fragile child psyche with the death of a horse I met ten minutes ago!  On a higher note… wasn’t that luck dragon creepy/cool?  Where was I… oh yeah (Spoilers End).  Caballitos is very average orange, sorry, mandarin soda.  It doesn’t taste bad but it does absolutely nothing to set it apart from the pack… well except re-injure my childhood’s emotional scars.

~A

Twist was rooting for the Nothing the entire time... he's heartless like that.

Jarritos Strawberry

For my review today I picked something I know will probably be good… because it’s Jarritos.  Jarritos has one of the strongest lines of soda I’ve come across.  Who would have known that when I was a teenager my choice of picking the “alternative soda” was actually a great idea?  You see my best friend and I would stay at each other’s house overnight on some weekends and to make sure that we stayed up late we’d have to hit up the corner store for some soda.  How could you possibly play Golden Eye/Resident Evil/Rampage for 18 hours straight without it?  We picked Jarritos not because it was made with cane sugar, had a great taste, or had amazing flavors.  We picked it because it was weird to us.  Mexican soda?  WHAT?!  That’s crazy!  It’s funny and sad how “other worldly” Jarritos seemed at the time but I’m very happy to be drinking it now, hopefully appreciating it to its fullest extent.  Oh… by the way.  Today’s drink is Jarritos Strawberry!  You know the drill.

This smells like a syrupy strawberry soda.  My nostrils can taste the sweetness that will soon be on my tongue.  I’d go on but my drink is warming up… I do actually drink and write these at the same time you know. 

Wow… that’s a much lighter mouth feel that I was expecting.  Here I was thinking it was going to be heavy and syrupy but once again I’ve been surprised by Jarritos.  It starts off as a somewhat light and bubbly strawberry soda and finishes with a heavier feel.  My tongue can still feel the bubbles well after it’s gone down my gullet adding to the pleasurable experience.  You get most of the sweetness about 3/4ths through your gulp.  It’s like the sweet strawberry flavoring is waiting in the shadows ready to pounce but then jumps a bit earlier than it wanted too.  Your tongue is attacked by the carnivorous strawberry but fights it off only to walk away with a few battle scars in its remembrance.  Wave after wave of tiny, vicious strawberry attacks doing its best to thwart your tongue but no… your tongue is a warrior.  Your tongue has taken on envelope glue, 9 volt batteries, and even Malta Hatuey.  These tiny delicious strawberries are no match and show as such when they burst into tiny fizzy bubbles upon their death.  At the end of the battle your tongue is stained red with their blood.  Suddenly a warm strawberry scented breeze blows from the south.  Your tongue now knows that its job is done and lays dormant until the next meeting.  One more thing...

~A

(This bottle was given to us by Jarritos)

Faux Fact:  All sensations feel bubbly to iguanas.

Jelly Belly Crushed Pineapple

   Hey everybody, it’s time for another Jelly Belly soda review!  I’m not sure why I started this review out with such fanfare.  It’s not like everyone waits with great anticipation for me to write another Jelly Belly soda review… especially since I’ve only reviewed Jelly Belly Juicy Pear.  Anyway, today we’ve got Jelly Belly Crushed Pineapple to try and I’m raring to give it a go.  Of course like the last Jelly Belly soda it’s made with 100% Cane Sugar and naturally flavored.  Sadly it still houses the demon known as Sodium Benzoate.  Well enough chatter, let’s open up the bottle imprisoning the yellow sugar water and give it a go.

   Wow… this doesn’t smell like pineapple as much as it smells like pineapple cake.  I wasn’t really expecting that but it’s a welcome surprise.  I’m a big fan of pineapple upside down cake so hopefully this drink is a liquefied version of such.  Although assuming that may just lead me down heartbreak road.  You know what happens when you assume don’t you?  It makes an ass of you… the reader… not me… but you.  Time to drink!

   Aaaand here comes the positive review.  This is the best pineapple soda I’ve ever had.  It does taste a bit like pineapple upside down cake but it mostly reminds me of a Dole-Whip.  For those of you who are unaware of the magic that is a Dole-Whip let me explain.  A Dole-whip is soft serve pineapple ice cream.  You can even put said pineapple ice cream into pineapple juice making it a Dole-Whip Float.  There are only three places that you can consume just magical splendor:  The Dole Plantation in Hawaii, In Disneyland right outside of the Enchanted Tiki Room, at WDW in Adventureland and also in the Polynesian Resort, and finally at some place called Jumpin' Jack's Drive-In in Scotia, NY.  I used to work at WDW and even sold a Dole Whip or 8 billion at one time so I’m fairly familiar with them.  Needless to say even though I’m not wacky for pineapples I’m a colossal fan of Dole-Whips.  Seriously… next chance you get you should try one.  No, no… I’ll just wait for you all to try one.  Go on, save up your money.  I’ll wait.

(Read this next part in a few years.  Take your time, I’m in no rush.)

   We all caught up now?  Good, it was worth it wasn’t it?  So now that it’s several years in the future from when you started this article go ahead and stop in your local SodaJerks Poppery and have a cold Jelly Belly Crush Pineapple to compare.  It should be rather easy to do as we’re on every corner.  As you now know, Jelly Belly Pineapple soda isn’t as sweet as a Dole-Whip though and of course it doesn’t have the cream flavoring either but it’s a very good soda.  The carbonation level is low allowing more of the pineapple flavoring to penetrate your palate.  I really don’t think that this would be a beverage you’d have with a meal though either.  Jelly Belly Crushed Pineapple seems more like a dessert drink or something you’d enjoy while sitting in the shade on a hot day.  With all that said I should probably just rate it.  I mean you’ve waited this long, there’s no need to leave you waiting any more.

Aaron Manahan

CEO of SodaJerks Enterprises

Twist is head of sercurity now... just mind your S's and J's and no one will get hurt.

Zuberfizz Cola

My experience with Zuberfizz has been well documented.  The short story is this… when the batch isn’t watery it tastes great!  The only problem is that I’ve come across more watery batches than I thought I ever would.  With that said let’s reach into the Ice Box and pull out a Zuberfizz Cola.  Same simplistic art on the bottle that I enjoy so much coupled with one of my favorite bottle caps to date.  Glad to see that the art never gets watered down… now let’s find out about the drink.

The odor wafting from the bottle is one rich in cola flavor.  I’d like to point out that those flavors turned odor are all natural as well!  Zuberfizz always has top notch ingredients and in part usually has a great aroma.  Smell is one thing to be excited about but it won’t tell us if this batch is watery.  For that we need to drink!

While I’m not sure if this is the actual achieved flavor I taste.  The flavor could be much stronger… and it could be much weaker, so there’s no telling.  The mouth feel of Zuberfizz Cola is very neutral but that’s ok because it works.  It has about as much fizz as a 2 liter that was opened the day before, so don’t think going into this you’re not going to experience any carbonation.  The flavor I’m greeted with is no doubt cola but it doesn’t find any similarity to Coke, Pepsi, or RC.  I didn’t realize how sweet this tasted until I didn’t drink it for a bit.  My mouth has a slight sugary film coating it much like a veil on a bride.  That was just an overly romantic way of saying that the film isn’t bad at all… it just exists and that’s ok.  Unlike the veil you can never remove the film which I’m sure after a while might get annoying.  “How many foggy days in a row has it been now, Dave?”  “It hasn’t been foggy all week Jane… you’re veil, remember?”  “Oh yes, how silly of me!   I don’t know why I don’t ever take my veil off?”  “I think you’re trying to strengthen some lame analogy in a soda review.”  “What?” “Never mind.”  Leaving Dave and Jane alone I leave you, the reader, with this.  Zuberfizz Cola is good.  Its ingredients are good.  Its bottle art is good but it just doesn’t stand out to me amongst a cola heavy market.

~A

(This Soda was supplied to us by Zuberfizz)

That's not a pineapple behind Twist... it's an Iguana Fruit ready to bloom.

Olde Brooklyn Orange Soda

   It’s been a while since I’ve done a review but thankfully a few citizens of the Carbonation have produced some outstanding reviews in my absence.  The site has a new look which I hope you like and I’m about to reference one of our newest sections!  The soda I’m pulling out of the Ice Box today is Olde Brooklyn Orange Soda.  The bottle art is what I assume to be the Brooklyn Bridge.  There’s also a nifty orange explosion happening on the neck of the bottle as well.  Other than those two things the bottle is fairly undecorated.  Looking at the ingredients shows us an assortment of interesting facts.  It’s sweetened with cane sugar which is always a positive but the thing that catches my attention even more is the nutrition label.  Apparently one bottle of this contains 2% of the calcium and 15% of the iron you need in a day.  I’m not sure if I’ve ever had an orange soda that had any iron in it at all, points to Olde Brooklyn Orange Soda for having this.  Enough with the chatter, let’s open this up.

   While the orange scent isn’t the strongest example I’ve ever encountered it’s still prevalent.  I’d say the majority of other orange sodas smell smell more sweetly of this .  Hopefully this will be a unique experience.  Time to find out.

   Well I can honestly say that I’ve never tasted an orange soda like this before.   It’s not nearly as tart as I thought it would be but I was correct in guessing that it wouldn’t be as sweet either.  The carbonation level is also fairly low.  It’s like you took a standard orange soda (Sunkist, Crush, etc) and muted the experience just a little bit.  “Oh no!” you say, “Guess we should just chalk this up as a loss.”  Wait, wait, wait, you random person that always seems to find their way into my house.  The muted orange flavoring actually works pretty well for Olde Brooklyn Orange Soda.  Many orange sodas are rather harsh on the throat not fully quenching your thirst.  Olde Brooklyn Orange Soda’s muted experience allows for more thirst quenching.  Just as the sharp mouth feel a soda brings can be a positive attribute for a soda the lack thereof helps set Olde Brooklyn Orange Soda apart from some of the other brands it might be competing against.  With that said…

Make sure when you enjoy your Olde Brooklyn Orange soda you do so with an iguana and a glass pineapple