Believe it or not some folks rate Coke as their favorite big name cola. Fools, the lot of them. Their opinions given to them by the big red hype machine. Then there’s a smaller group that likes Pepsi. Dude, if you’re going to like Pepsi you might as well join the “winning team” and like Coke. Finally, there are a select few people that like RC Cola the best. I am one of those people and not just because of our new sponsorship deal with them. Sure, there’s a few minute changes made to the site, but they’re hardly noticeable… so you know I’m on the level.

So under absolutely no contractual obligation at all, I’m here to review Royal Crown, (or as the kids call it, RC), Cola. First off, this can is amazing. It’s a dark blue. Not a weak blue like Pepsi, but a strong, powerful blue like nothing else on earth. Emblazoned on this dark blue can are the two letters that are synonymous with RC Cola, “RC”. Not a logo, the letters are the logo. Pepsi has a ball of color, Coke has a white squiggle they thought needed a copyright. RC Cola has its’ name. RC COLA HAS ITS’ NAME.

Did you know that RC Cola was the first major manufacturer to use steel cans… then aluminum cans? They were. You know why? Because they’re innovators. Anywho, it’s a beautiful can.

Looking at the ingredients, I see they use water. There’s nothing more important on this earth than water. Some really high percentage of your body is made of water and RC Cola wants to make sure you have enough of it. Generous doesn’t even come close. They’re literal saints.

Opening the can, I smell the scent of cola. What’d you think it’d be? It’s the epitome of cola aromas. I say “cola”, you say “aroma”. Cola! _____ Cola! _____. There, now RC has pumped you up and we haven’t even tasted it yet.

Damn. If you like the bite of Coke and the sweetness of Pepsi, then you should be drinking RC Cola. RC Cola has both that bite and sweetness, but it’s improved 100%.. I simply don’t understand why more people aren’t drinking it right now. No foolin’, it’s the only soda I keep on hand at my house under no contractual obligation. You come to my house lookin’ for a soda, you’re gonna find the stuff I review and then you’re gonna find a bunch of the good stuff, RC.

Think of it this way. The guy that you trust with your soda reviews. The guy that would never let you down. The guy that has reviewed over 500+ sodas...drinks RC Cola. Why aren’t you drinking it this very second?

The carbonation is ON POINT! You like the taste of cola? Well, then you’re gonna love the taste of cola with the perfect amount of bubbles.

Speaking of aftertastes, RC Cola’s aftertaste is RC Cola. And when you want it to vanish, it totally does, but why would you ever want that?

So, what should you pair with your RC Cola? I ask myself that all the time. There are two things that pair with an RC Cola. Thing number one is a moon pie. If you haven’t had a moon pie and an RC Cola I pity you and will include you in my prayers tonight. Thing number two that goes with RC Cola (20 oz bottles) are peanuts. Here’s what you do. Take a swig of your RC Cola (20 oz bottle) and pour in a sleeve of peanuts. Now you’re eating peanuts and drinking RC Cola. Your day cannot possibly get better unless of course you’ve also purchased a moon pie. I’m pretty sure the elation coursing through your body may cause permanent damage if you do though.

So there you have it, lawyers. My review of RC Cola which was written under no legal obligation.

I bought this anywhere quality and equality exists.

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Royal Crown Cola (April Fool's Review)

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