Boylan's Creamy Red Birch Beer

There is a long standing argument between Mike and myself that birch beer has qualities that discern it from root beer.  Before we even started this site the few times Mike got me to try a birch beer I really couldn’t have picked it out of a row of root beers.  You see, Mike likes root beer… yet hates birch beer if I remember correctly and that blows my mind.  The two are so similar I can’t imagine liking one but not the other.  Today though I think I may have found a feather for Mike’s cap which is nice because you don’t see feathered caps anymore.  Boylan’s Creamy Red Birch Beer seems like a birch beer that is different enough, with it being red in color, that maybe it will set itself apart from the root beer family.  We’ve reviewed Boylan’s products before, root beer included, and they do a good job at making sodas so I’m not worried about the quality.  The ingredients even have “Pure Birch Oils” listed at #3 so I’m feeling pretty good that I’ll be able to taste said “difference”.  I really hope I like Boylan’s Creamy Red Birch Beer because I have an amusing play on words already lined up in my head.  Ok, ain’t nothing to it, but to do it.

Right off the bat this birch beer smells like a root beer.  There is a sharpness to the scent though that I normally only find in a licorice heavy root beer.  With the first battle won (Go Team Aaron!) it’s time to move on to the war itself… the tasting.

Curse you Mike.  Boylan’s Creamy Red Birch Beer is most certainly not a root beer.  I’d be lying if I didn’t say it was slightly root-beer-esque, but this clearly stands on its own.  The bubbles are small and powerful as they dance rapidly on my tongue, almost to the point of being ticklish.  While Boylan’s Creamy Red Birch Beer isn’t as smooth as say a vanilla heavy root beer, it’s still a joy to drink.  The birch oils make this beverage tip its hat to the bitter side.  It’s nothing that would make you scrunch up your face, but I could see some not liking it.  Another difference this has to root beer is that it doesn’t sit heavily in your mouth.  While you try and get that terrible visual image out of your head I’ll explain.  Picture yourself drinking your favorite creamy root beer… not Barq’s, I said creamy.  After the root beer has done its job and you’ve taken a gulp a heavy velvet curtain lowers in your mouth.  It usually just sits there and there’s nothing you can do about it.  Sure, maybe the velvet curtain is nice to look at, but no matter if it is or isn’t it will be there for a while.  Boylan’s Creamy Red Birch Beer has a curtain as well, but it’s not made from heavy velvet.  Boylan’s has a lighter polyester curtain that makes itself known, but not with the same oomph.  After drinking this I’ve learned that I’m more of a root beer person myself, but to Mike I have one thing to say to you.  If you’re havin’ soda problems I feel bad for you, son.  I’ve got 99 problems, but a birch ain’t one.

~A

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