Party Pop

It’s a little after midnight and I wasn’t even sure I was going to write a review today, but apparently I am.  My wife and I live with three animals so the house is rarely quiet.  It’s so rare that when you couple a silent house with darkness it becomes a little creepy.  I snuck downstairs, as to not wake the puppy, and blindly reached into the refrigerator.  What greeted me was a fairly creepy site in itself.  Two oddly drawn children stare at me from the label of this bottle of Party Pop.  Well technically the little boy is staring at me and the little girl is infatuated with the previously mentioned boy.  I don’t know what Party Pop is, but from the label alone it claims to be “The Original Foamy Soda”.  I’m going to go ahead and call that a lie without even researching it.  Other words listed on the bottle are “sangaria”, “cheers!”, “non-alcoholic”, something written in a foreign language, and weirdest of all… “kids”.  Over the ingredients I find out that this is an apple flavored soda, so it shouldn’t be terrible because “kids”.  For as strange as Party Pop is, it’s made with HFCS so it’s not off-the-rails bizarre.  The time has come for me to try “The Original Foamy Soda” known as Party Pop.  Since the “kids” seem to love it, hopefully I will too.

I think the foreign language that’s on the bottle, and now I see on the cap, is Japanese.  For the record, this is bottled in California.  Such an odd soda.  It smells like apple juice.  I’d go into more descriptive terminology if it smelled any different than apple juice, but it doesn’t.  Apple anything isn’t listed as an ingredient.  No apple juice, artificial apple, natural (apple) flavor, mock apples, how ‘bout them apples, there’s nothing about apples.  Fantastic.  I hope this blows my socks off, because that would just complete this peculiar experience.

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Twist could steal her away in an instant.

WHOA ALL THAT FOAM!  Kidding.  It is a little foamier than your standard soda, but I’m not sure I’d make it a marketing point.  Perhaps if I still had my youthful innocence I could see myself pouring this into a glass and pretending to drink beer.  That’s exactly what this is, by the way.  This is kid beer.  It’s the color of beer, it develops a head like beer, and it’s called Party Pop like beer.  It’s “kids” beer.  Anywho.  It tastes like an apple soda that didn’t quite make it. 

The carbonation level is light and fizzy, fun some might say.  On the other hand that apple juice scent I was picking up earlier isn’t quite as honest.  There is an apple flavor being represented here, but it’s constantly haunted by a bitter ghost.  Before the apple flavor even hits the bitter ghost resides in my mouth chasing all of good flavors away.  The good flavors that do stay have to walk through said ghost, thus tainting their once tasty skins.  Slimed if you will.  What I’m about to say isn’t 100% accurate, but it’s the best comparison I can think of at this time of night.  Party Pop tastes like it’s 80% Apple Juice and 20% beer.  For some reason I capitalized “apple juice”, but not beer.  No idea why, moving on.  This beer/apple juice hybrid obviously isn’t working for me, but it’s not horrible.  Actually I take that back.  With each sip I try the bitterness builds on itself making Party Pop less “pop” and more “mistake.

This kid on the label with his cocked party hat is really starting to bother me.  It’s like he’s bragging about gaining the eye of the girl next to him.  Like he’s gloating to me that she’ll never be mine.  Dude you’re like 10 at the most.  I could take you out with one punch and I’m a weak 30 something.  Whataya going to do?  “Kids”.

~A