Flathead Lake Huckleberry

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Huckleberry Finn is a literary classic.  My mother used to have a very old edition of said book and in junior high I took it to school with me and tossed it in the bottom of my locker.  It sat there, books piling upon it, tearing the spine off painfully slow.  I brought it home and my mother was understandably angry.  Well, at the time I didn’t understand because it was just a book.  You could buy Huckleberry Finn at the store for $5. 

Twist could mess up the Flathead Lake mascot

This has nothing to do with the soda I’m about to drink, I just wanted to get that off my chest.  I still feel bad for ruining that book.  Flathead Lake Huckleberry (there’s the tie in) Soda probably isn’t going to be as good as the words Mark Twain penned.  If the taste equals his excellence in writing then I’ll shut down the website.  I seriously doubt that will happen though because Flathead Lake usually tastes off to me.  I like the story they tell, but the ending makes me not care if I hear it again.  There ingredients are an assortment of chemicals and it’s quite obvious when you take a sip.  Then again, I haven’t had their huckleberry.  For the record I’m YOUR huckleberry and I’m ready to review this.

A grape aroma surrounded by candy flies out of the bottle.  The scent is not solely grape, but that’s definitely the smell in charge.  The tart huckleberry taste can be felt within my nostrils as I take deeper and deeper whiffs.  Here’s hoping this above average smell isn’t a sugary mess in the taste department.

For having such a powerful aroma the taste is actually quite weak.  Flathead Lake Huckleberry is a watery grape soda with whispers of flavor from a similar fruit.  The carbonation is sharp and fizzy, but not enough to have me anxiously anticipating my next sip.  Even if this did have a more powerful taste I’m not sure it’d be enough to change the rating I’m already leaning towards.  It’s tasty enough, but even if you’re really into huckleberries I just don’t see this being your soda of choice.  The flavors are muted, confused, and seem thrown together for the sake of being “not just a grape soda”.  “This is huckleberry dang-it and people will notice us more because it’s not your standard flavor.”  This is true.  When I saw the flavor of this soda was huckleberry I became excited because it wasn’t a flavor I was used to.  I can count on one hand the number of huckleberry sodas I’ve had.  So Flathead Lake got me, but didn’t deliver on the flavor.  Add this to the fact that my mouth is coated with a thin layer of “huckleberry” syrup and it’s really not that enjoyable of an experience. 

No, it’s not a gross soda, but it’s not hard to make “not a gross soda”.  I’ve done it, but it’s nothing I’d bottle and sell.  Flathead Lake made one too, but instead of using huckleberry they used “artificial flavors” and called it a day.  Again, it’s not gross so I won’t tell you to beware.  It’s just so average.

~A

Rocket Fizz Shirley Temple

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I didn’t even know what a Shirley Temple was before meeting my wife.  In case you’re in the same boat as 24 year old Aaron, a Shirley Temple is what you get when you combine grenadine with Sprite.  It’s like a cherry limeade, but with a lighter flavoring.  They’re quite tasty and I recommend trying one if you haven’t before.  Rocket Fizz apparently agrees with my recommendation and created a bottled version they so cleverly called Rocket Fizz Shirley Temple.  Like other Rocket Fizz products this one is sweetened with pure cane sugar.  I’m so happy they went with the “pure” cane sugar and didn’t scrape the bottom of the barrel for the “tainted” cane sugar that we so often see soda companies’ use.  *Sigh* It’s just cane sugar folks.

Twist's expression is bewilderment 

Well, we’re not starting off on the best foot.  The aroma that wafts from the bottle reminds me quite a bit of nail polish remover.  Having never tried nail polish remover I can’t honestly tell you if it tastes like a Shirley Temple, but I’m going to go out on a limb and guess it doesn’t. (don’t drink nail polish remover, kids)  With that aroma now bouncing around my nostrils I suppose it’s time for me to give this bottle of Rocket Fizz Shirley Temple the ooooooooooold taste test.

This is not good, nor does it taste like a Shirley Temple.  Rocket Fizz Shirley Temple is a syrupy mess.  If children’s cold medicine had a cotton candy flavor it would taste like this.  The sweet, over the top flavor grabs onto my teeth and refuses to let go.  If there is a cherry sensation to be had it has mutated into some sort of quasi-cherry chemical mixture that my palate does not find to be very pleasant.  The carbonation level is light and fizzy, so at least that has been done well.  I was really expecting a completely different beverage here, but what I’m tasting makes it seem like this particular flavor was just thrown together in the hopes that it would taste good.  I’m honestly confused as to what happened because Rocket Fizz is usually pretty good about getting close to the flavor listed on the bottle.  Perhaps I’ll revisit this at another time to make sure I didn’t get a bad batch, but for now I can’t recommend trying this.

~A

 

Something Natural Black Cherry

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I wanted to do a review today, but didn’t feel like drinking a sugary soda.  Thankfully a while back the guys at ThirstMonger sent me two flavors of Something Natural and I had only completed the review of one of them.  You may remember the last time I reviewed a beverage from Something Natural.  The flavor was strawberry peach and I was genuinely impressed with both their simplistic ingredient list and the way they used both sugar and stevia to sweeten.  Well today I have Something Natural Black Cherry and I truly believe this is going to hit the spot.

Twist ate a bird once...once.

A stronger than expected black cherry scent is easily detected exiting this beautiful bottle.  Something Natural really does do an excellent job in the presentation department.  Everything is simple yet elegant, making just looking at the bottle a treat.  I am a little nervous about black cherry sparkling water though.  Black cherry is known for being a very robust flavor and so many flavors made into sparkling waters get muted or left behind in the process.  Hopefully Something Natural knows what they’re doing in this regard.

My fear was met somewhere in the middle.  The flavor of black cherry is easily identified, but at the cost of tasting somewhat diet.  It’s my opinion that the black cherry flavor should never be confused with a diet taste.  I don’t care if you’re soda is Diet Black Cherry, removing the cherries natural rich flavor is a crime against the fruit. 

Something Natural Black Cherry doesn’t taste poorly at all, but I really think their flavor selection could be better.  In the previous review of strawberry peach they had two flavors in their arsenal that translated well into the light fizzy world of sparkling water.  Everything else about this beverage is located on an elevated notch.  It’s not quite the top notch, but it’s getting there.  The carbonation is fun and inviting.  As I’ve stated before, the bottle is pleasant.  The ingredient list is to be envied… it’s just that the most important aspect doesn’t work for me.  I wonder how Something Natural Watermelon would taste.  I’ve looked over their flavors and the second heaviest one seems to be Raspberry Keylime.  While I can’t speak for the taste of it, I wouldn’t have the initial doubts about that flavor that I did toward Black Cherry.  It’s just too strong of a fruit, flavor, or idea to hinder.

 All in all though it’s not a terrible drink; I could easily finish the bottle and my rating will reflect that.  If I were you I’d just grab another of their flavors prior to this one.

~A

Filbert's Strawberry

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As many of you know I’m not the biggest fan of strawberry soda.  Far too often it’s just a conglomeration of sugar, chemicals, and bubbles.  So when I pulled Filbert’s Strawberry soda out of my fridge I probably voiced an audible sigh.  While the rich red coloring and the barrel full of soda on the label are nice, I’m just not in the mood for another sugar filled strawberry soda.  I was hoping that the inclusion of pure sugar in the ingredients would make me a little happier about reviewing this, but Filbert’s is made with “sugar and/or corn sweetner”.  That’s “sweetner” without the “e”.  Other such ingredients in this self-proclaimed “Old Time Quality” soda are as follows:  Carbonated water, citric acid, artificial flavor & color, and of course sodium benzoate.  No matter how good this soda is, they’ve already hit one of my nerves.  Don’t say your beverage has an “Old Time Quality” when your ingredient list is that sad.  At least the bottle cap is nice.

A strawberry scent so sweet it could be cotton candy oozes carefully out of the mouth of the bottle.  I am happy that the scent wasn’t so powerful I could smell it from a distance.  Hopefully this means it’s not quite as sugary as I perceived it to be.

Twist's middle name is Filbert.  No relation.

That is a rather odd strawberry soda.  Let me start off by saying that this isn’t a sugary mess.  Yes it’s sweet, but thankfully someone showed some restraint and pulled back what could have been Candyland.  Each sip doesn’t start off tasting like strawberry; in fact the first half of my sip doesn’t taste like much at all.  As soon as I agitate the liquid, either by swishing or swallowing, I’m welcomed with a smattering of strawberry that seems to identify a little bit with a strawberry-cream.  Even though there is a touch of cream flavoring in each gulp the end of my sips trail off into a chemical heap.  This artificial ending begins to even taste a little like a diet strawberry soda before turning into an unfortunate memory.

The fruit flavor of Filbert’s Strawberry is unmistakably recognized, but it’s not nearly as powerful as I thought it would be.  If they were to boost the flavor just a bit I think they could improve their product.  As it stands now, Filbert’s Strawberry is pleasantly different, but nothing I’d force people to drink. 

~A

Martian Poop Soda

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Little ditty, ‘bout Alice and Diane.  Two nice women, buying sodas for this man.  I wish I could convert more lyrics of Mr. Cougar Mellencamp, but sadly that talent eludes me.  The two ladies in the single line that I did convert bought me the soda I’m about to consume, so thanks to them… I think. 

I’m about to drink Martian Poop.  Yup, that’s all there is to it.  I’m going to consume Martian Poop soda made by Rocket Fizz.  I’m almost happy to be drinking Martian Poop soda so that I’ll never have to write this article again.  This article in which I’ll have to type the words Martian Poop over and over again.  According to the label, Martians excrete a green substance that looks much like what would come out of a cartoon dog.  Thankfully the label also informs me (in tiny print) that this is a marionberry flavored soda.  Sadly, I have no idea what a marionberry is.  I know what a Marion Barry is, but not a marionberry.  TO THE INTERNET!  Ok, so the Marion is a type of blackberry, a blackberry with a very complex flavor at that.  So things may be looking up for this bottle of Martian Poop Soda, but I’m not holding my breath.

ALL THE EASTER CANDY

As fragrant as you might think a bottle of Martian Poop Soda may be, the fruit aroma that should be there is very mild and my nose struggles at pulling a scent through the opening of the bottle.  Perhaps Martian Poop (I really should have a counter going at this point) really shines in the way it tastes.

Well that’s kind of fun, then way too sweet, then fun again, then overly sweet.  Martian Poop Soda has a burst of foamy fizz that really lights up my mouth.  Then I got a quick peak at a somewhat vague blackberry fruit flavor.  Almost immediately after that blackberry flavor appears it vanishes and Martian Poop gives off the flavor of ALL THE EASTER CANDY (excluding chocolate).  It’s not obnoxiously sweet, but it’s the equivalent of some kid “not touching you, I’m not touching you, I’m not touching you” obnoxious.  You’re just waiting for him to touch you so he can face your rage.  After ALL THE EASTER CANDY flavor subsides, you’re left with the last breath of the carbonation as it tries to convince you of the fun you had on this short journey.  Hard as it might try, the carbonation’s last wish is unfulfilled.  Martian Poop Soda is just too loaded with sugar and nonsense to really be a good soda.  Is it fun?  Yes, to a point.  Are some kids going to love the fact that they’re drinking something called Martian Poop?  Yes, of course they are.  Am I done writing the words “Martian Poop” for a very long time?  Yes, yes I am.

~A

Avery's Monster Mucus

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There aren’t many words that gross me out when I hear/read them.  I’d put the over-under at about 10 total that I’ve come across.  Sadly one of those words is in the title of today’s beverage.  Avery’s Monster Mucus… ugggh.. is in front of me and my throat will convulse every time I type the word mucus.  A couple of nice ladies, Alice & Diane, are the reason this repulsive bottle of liquid is in front of me; I must thank them both.  There’s a Simpson-esque slime man on the bottle that I’m supposing we’re to believe is the creator of this beverage.  I mean he is a monster and I can only assume he’s secreting mucus, so I’m thinking the story goes that I’m about to drink him.  Thankfully there’s also a proper flavor listing of Strawberry/Blue Raspberry on the label as well.  Oh, and the label uses one of my favorite made up words “SODAsgusting”.  That’s fantastic and I really have nothing else to say about it.

Twist is vomiting

The blue raspberry is clearly the boss around here as I can’t even tell that strawberry is in the mix due to the pungent aroma of the former.  With a second whiff I think I’m getting a touch of the tartness found in your friendly neighborhood strawberry.  Perhaps I should drink it to make further observations.

The first sip is a little underwhelming as both tastes seems to cancel each other out and create almost a non-taste.  Maybe my mouth just needs a few more sips to acclimate to this new environment.  As I work my way further down the bottle a noticeable blue raspberry taste shows up, but does not really impress me.  True to its weak scent the strawberry thought better than to appear today, letting the blue raspberry take the brunt of the criticism.  Each sip also brings the taste of grape to my lips as well.  This grape/raspberry flavoring coupled with the sharp carbonation creates a fairly average fruit flavored soda.  Yes it’s sweetened with cane sugar, but you always run the risk of having a very vague soda flavor when you start combining fruit.  It seems that’s what’s happened here with Avery’s Monster Mucus.  With such an “out-there” flavor name I was hoping for something that would be memorable.  Instead I got a flavor combination that while somewhat tasty will be forgotten in a matter of days.

~A

Strawberry Shasta

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Here’s something odd, well at least I find it odd.  I’ve never had a Shasta soda that I can remember.  It’s Shasta!  How have I lived 31 years and never had one.  The mascot of one of our local universities is named Shasta, yet trying the drink has eluded me.  I’m not exactly sure how a mascot’s name and me trying a soda tie in together, but that doesn’t matter when it’s something as silly as this.  A nice lady I work with, whom I will name Good Morning, put me on a mission to find Strawberry Shasta.  Upon searching for it I found that the only places near me that sold Shasta were Brookshire Bros. grocery stores.  Now I’m not sure how it is where you live, but around here Brookshire Bros. are located in more rural areas so I rarely see one.  Well, Good Morning was driving past one by chance and made the U-turn to check it out.  Long story somewhat shorter, she brought me a Shasta Strawberry to review. 

Glancing at the ingredients I quickly see that Shasta Strawberry is chock full of chemical goodness.  I wasn’t expecting anything amazing here, so my thoughts have not been swayed.  This can art is keeping me in a positive mood.  It feels so fun and retro while keeping the can fresh and eye-catching.  Hopefully the flavor is on the fun side.

Twist smells of strawberries.

It smells of strawberry soda.  Ok, a little more detail is necessary.  It’s not quite as sugary smelling as I thought it would be, but the chemical mixture inside keeps it from smelling like fresh strawberries or any nonsense like that.

Wow, color me somewhat slightly impressed.  Shasta Strawberry, even with 36 grams of sugar in it, doesn’t taste a sugar sandwich made with sugar, marshmallows, sugar, sugar, and some strawberry syrup.  No, in fact this tastes merely like sugar, carbonated water, and strawberry syrup which oddly enough is a step in the right direction for strawberry sodas.  Enough blabbering, this tastes like the carbonated version of those little strawberry candies your grandmother bought back in 1985.  If you want to buy over five pounds of these candies or just want to know what I’m talking about click this fabulous link.  Anywho, these strawberry candies (and Strawberry Shasta) have the talent of chemically mimicking both the tart and sweet aspects of our friend the strawberry.  It is this feature that allows me to gently nudge Shasta Strawberry past its numerous counterparts.

~A

 

Lean - Yella

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Today’s offering from ThirstMonger is a relaxation beverage.  Currently I don’t need a relaxation beverage because my wife is listening to one of the dullest power point presentations I’ve ever half listened to.  Ah, education.  Thankfully, I can focus all my attention on this can of Lean (flavor “Yella”) in front of me.  ThirstMonger sent me three flavors of Lean: Purp, Easta Pink, and of course Yella.  Having reviewed other relaxation beverages I had grown tired of the whole “purple drank” variation and was pleased to see that Lean offered other non “Purp” flavors for those that craved more variety from their chillaxation beverages.  Lean is labeled as the “slow motion…potion”.  Even their tagline has an ellipsis in it, this must be good.  I wasn’t all that shocked to see melatonin in the ingredient list, but I was surprised to see sugar.  I would have thought they’d have gone the HFCS route, but I’m happily wrong about that.  The band around the top of the can gives us the flavor title of “Yella”, but also includes tiny pictures of pineapples.  I’m not sure what I would have assumed the flavor of “Yella” was without this picture cue, so I’m pleased it exists.

Twist is always leaning.  Always.

An unusual pineapple cream aroma races out of the can, almost desperate for me to smell it.  There’s an unexpected amount of sweetness in this scent so I’m a bit more curious as to what Lean – Yella will taste like. 

Yella tastes as it smells.  There is a sweet, smooth, pineapple taste that washes over all aspects of my mouth.  The carbonation is small, but shows up in powerful bursts throughout the drinking process.  Even though there are tiny pineapples on this can, I’m quite pleased with the fact that “Pineapple” is not listed as the flavor.  While it is the primary taste I’m experiencing it has been mutated into something much more interesting than your standard apple of pine.  The sweetness, that I’ve now mentioned several times, is quite similar to what you might find in a cream soda.  There’s also a bit of vanilla within this pineapple soda.  This addition keeps each swig somewhat fresh and allows for repeated returns to the beverage.  On the negative side, Lean – Yella is somewhat syrupy and some might find it overly sugary.  There are only 28 grams of sugar in a serving which may sound like a lot, but Mountain Dew is made with a number that travels well over 40g.  This sweetness does build upon itself making it difficult to finish off this 16oz can, but all in all it’s a fairly tasty beverage.  The rating I give it may seem a little low, but just know it’s on the high end.

~A

 

Faygo Orange

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Orange soda is one of the staple sodas out there when you’re talking about the fruit flavored variety.  Personally I prefer grape to orange, but there aren’t many times I’d turn down an orange soda.  This cane sugar sweetened Faygo Orange in front of me has been dressed up in a simply stylish glass bottle and begs for review.  A quick peak at the back tells me that the ingredients aren’t really worth mentioning and I should be on my way with this review.

As seen here, Twist sleeps with his eyes open

Your standard orange aroma escapes the bottle top and does nothing to impress me.  That said, the flavor inside will hopefully hold a few tricks up its sleeve, less I grow bored with it as well.

A quick punch of carbonation and the rest is a sweet burst of orange that identifies more with candy than fruit.  This sweet, somewhat syrupy beverage has already taken a somewhat permanent residence in my mouth.  The velvet curtain, which is usually reserved for beverages sweetened with HFCS, has fallen and it’s all I can do not to taste this rather ordinary orange soda.  Faygo Orange isn’t something many would describe as “poor tasting”, but it’s somewhat yawn worthy.  I’d much rather purchase the store brand orange soda and take my chance with the HFCS if it meant getting a more vibrant flavor. 

~A

 

 

Almdudler

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Moxie is the official state soft drink of Maine; it’s rather important up there.  I think it’s pretty darn nifty that a state has an official soft drink.  Heck, I wish all states had one, that way I could make it a point to “drink around the USA” and try them all.  While official states sodas are cool and all, they don’t hold a candle to what I’m about to consume.  Today’s selection is the NATIONAL Soft Drink of Austria and it’s called Almdudler - 50 Jahre.  Since Austrian and German are similar languages I can tell you that 50 Jahre means 50 Years and is probably not a part of the name.  Heck English is Germanic so you probably figured that one out without failing German in college.  I have no earthly idea what Almdudler is, if it is indeed anything other than a brand.  TO GOOGLE! 

Ok, so Almdudler is just a brand, but the name apparently comes from an old phrase “auf der Alm dudeln” which means singing in the alpine meadows.  There’s your history lesson for the day and a few words that will surely end up carrying some unsuspecting Austrians to our site.  Howdy, Austrians! 

The romantic bottle scene is somewhat ruined by the giant green iguana staring at them.

Looking at the affixed English label I see that Almdudler is made with carbonated water, cane sugar, citric acid and natural flavors.  The ingredients go on to say that Almdudler contains NO preservatives or artificial ingredients.   That’s a little bit of a white lie as citric acid is a natural preservative, but since it’s the national soft drink of Austria we’ll let it slide.

Why did I think this cap would twist off?  No discernible smell comes from the bottle, but after a hefty huff I get the smallest ideas that it might be apple flavored.  The ingredients, as you might recall, just list “natural flavors” so I’m really just guessing here.  This is no time for guessing though, it’s time for drinking.

Well, it looks like I’ll be guessing for a while.  Wait… delayed apple taste, oddly enjoyable.  Almdudler doesn’t have a very strong flavor at all.  It avoids the crashing chandelier at the beginning of the play and just shoves a small boy out to quietly sing.  The initial taste has me stumped as it’s sort of fruity, but the flavor isn’t exaggerated enough for me to identify it.  Gradually I get a bit of citrus taste until I’m led to the subtle apple at the end. 

Ok, so I tried to cheat and look up the flavor of Almdudler by going to their website.  I was met with the yell of “ALMDUDLER!” and then given a… well how shall I describe it.  Did any of you ever play Monty Python’s Complete Waste of Time for PC?  No?  That doesn’t surprise me, but if you had you’d realize that this website is designed like that game from 1995.  It’s the perfect comparison, so I really don’t care if you get it or not.  Ok, so the website is very click friendly and has little surprises when you hover your mouse over it.  Here, go to the website already.  Just promise you’ll come back.

Long story somewhat shorter, I never found out the actual flavor of Almdudler, but I’m going to stick by my citrus to apple flavor assessment and recommend that you try it.  There is a bitterness that takes residence within my mouth as I take sip after sip.  It’s not going away, even if I wait a few minutes between consumption.  This bitterness, even though I’m not a fan, does keep the beverage from being too sweet.  I’ll take slightly bitter over nauseatingly sweet any day.  Such an odd experience.  The flavors are so familiar, but just different enough that it seems fresh.  If I had to classify it as a soda though, I’d probably say bitter apple.  Doesn’t that sound delicious?  Bitter Apple soda?  Yes, yes it does sound delicious.  There I answered for you.  Almdudler on the other hand is bitter apple soda plus, and the plus is really a minus in my opinion because something just isn’t working for me.

~A

 

Cherry Breese

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Hey, NERD!  You lookin' for something to read, NERD?  Too bad, because this soda has already been reviewed on Episode 37 of TheSodaJerks.net Popcast!  Find out what we thought of it and more "after the jump" as they used to say 3 years ago.  Don't get to feeling down though, here's a picture of the soda you wanted reviewed. 

 

Twist hates misspelled words.

RootJack

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The folks at RootJack told the folks at ThirstMonger to tell me to drink RootJack without ice at an extremely cold temperature…purple monkey dishwasher.  I’m pretty sure the part about the purple monkey dishwasher was something added along the line, but needless to say I was quite pleased to see a beverage company tell me to stay away from ice.  So for a week this bottle of RootJack, Orange Flavored Root Beer, sat at the back of my fridge chilling.  Everytime I’d open the door I’d want to reach in and drink it, but I couldn’t… I must wait.  How does one keep oneself from drinking such an ususual product?  Orange flavored Root Beer, I’d never heard of such a thing, but my mind tells me it should work.  Looking at the label I’m happy to see that RootJack is sweetened with sugar and also contains a bit of guarana seed extract for energy.  This fun hybrid of flavors also has 100% of the vitamin C I need in a day, to fight scurvy of course.  With that said, it’s time for me to crack open this bottle and set sail for nowheres in particulars.

The scent that rises from the depths of Davy Jones locker is root beer heavy with a hint of the orange promised on the front of the bottle.  Do you know what a pirate’s favorite letter is?  You probably think it’s RRRRRRR, but he truly lives for the C.  Moving on.

TWist is better known at the Dread Pirate Roberts.

That is super bizarre.  Wow.  The first few glugs were just straight root beer, but then the citrus took hold of my taste buds and punched them square in the jaw.  The hint of orange the aroma spoke about was just the tip of the krackens tentacle.  I thought that RootJack would be root beer with a hint of orange.  I thought wrong as each sip starts off like calm day at sea; just enjoying a root beer with my swabbies, then the orange whale throws itself on board looking for Ahab.  It’s really confusing for my mouth and brain.  Each is frantically trying to figure out if it’s ok with this mixture of worlds. 

The sweetness level of RootJack is just right as I would have no problem drinking this with a meal.  While the flavor is wild, I still feel like it could pair well with your standard fare of hamburgers and hotdogs without taking away anything from them.  I’m also seeing why they wanted me to drink this cold.  The orange flavor could come off as offending to some if this was room temperature.  Even the bottle tells you to “Serve Cold”.  When’s the last time you saw another soda tell you the obvious? 

As the soda bottle empties the orange flavor becomes a bit more bitter, but not enough to turn me away from finishing it off.  Now that I have a proper place to put my message written on parchment, I’ll give you my final thoughts.  RootJack is truly a unique beverage from start to finish.  The mixture of two common flavors may confuse the mind to the point of not knowing if what you’re ingesting is something you like or not, but once you get your mind right you’ll find you wish you had another.  I’ve gotta hand it  to RootJack for taking a chance and setting themselves apart from the rest of the sodas out there.  The flavor combo was a little too combative for my tastes, but I still want to recommend that you buy multiples if just for giving some to your friends.

~A

Something Natural - Strawberry Peach

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ThirstMonger has once again sent me a beverage for review and it comes in the prettiest little bottle I’ve ever seen.  Something Natural Strawberry Peach is a sparkling water that comes in a shapely blue bottle and includes a friendly looking bird.  If I had to guess, I’d say the bird is a sparrow, wren, or finch, but then again I’m no ornithologist.  With a quick glance at the ingredients I notice that Something Natural lives up to its name with completely natural ingredients.  The sweetener is a double act of cane sugar and stevia which is a show I’ve seen delivered with success.  Just looking at this bottle is brining my mind a bit of peace after a long day of work.  I may keep this one for the collection, but not before reviewing it of course.

I picked the strawberry peach flavor because it seemed that would translate better for sparkling water than the other flavor I had at my disposal, black cherry.  Once I cracked the bottle open I was surprised to get as strong of an aroma as I did.  Both the strawberry and peach scents went straight to my olfactory glands and made their presence known.  Perhaps this sparkling water will be more soda like than I first anticipated.

Twist apologizes for the fuzziness of this picture

Something Natural Strawberry Peach really is a calming beverage.  Holding the bottle and drinking from it almost feels vacationesque and the flavor you get is quite nice as well.  Without consulting my site I can tell you immediately that this is the one of the best sparkling waters I’ve ever had.  The strawberry peach flavor is true and unwavering with peach being the lead in the play.  The stevia’s known aftertaste is lost amongst the carbonation and cane sugar.  It’s not a sugary beverage by any means, but it’s sweeter than most other sparkling waters I’ve had.  My biggest criticism will come from the aftertaste and it’s hard to single out Something Natural in this instance.  All sparkling waters have a dry, somewhat bitter aftertaste to me that nudges me out of the experience.  Now I’m sure many look forward to this aftertaste, but I’m not one of those people.  Something Natural Strawberry Peach does indeed have this same dry, bitter aftertaste that I’d rather it not have, but it’s what I’m working with.

All in all though, Something Natural is a solid beverage with good flavor presentation and a great ingredient list.  If you’re into sparkling waters I bet you’d love it.  Now if sparkling water isn’t your thing, I’d still probably give this a try to make sure your opinion is validated.

~A

Flathead Lake Black Raspberry

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Montana’s Legendary Soda, Flathead Lake, is known around the parts as almost being an above average soda.  For whatever reasons it never seems to be able to touch that rung of the latter and ends up falling off before it can achieve greatness.  Today’s Flathead Lake soda flavor is black raspberry.  I’m quite happy with this flavor selection as it is the superior taste when compared to its fake blue counterpart.  So there you have it.  Flathead Lake soda is average, but this flavor is one of my favorites.  Who will win out?

There's some kind of copyright infringement here, but I'm not sure who the guilty party is.

A delicious candy grape aroma rises from the bottle, which is odd since it’s a blackberry soda.  If I pretend hard enough I can make myself believe that I also smell the blackberry, but I can’t.  Hopefully I’ll be able to taste it.

Ok, so the taste is a bit grapey as well.  I’m going to go ahead and promise never to use the term “grapey” ever again.  Let’s move on, shall we?  Thankfully the second half of my experience does indeed taste like an artificially delicious black raspberry full of sugar and chemicals.  Still though, if someone were to give me this soda in a glass I’d assume it was grape, that can’t be good for the Flathead Lake flavor department.  Even though the flavor is mostly wrong it’s still a very tasty soda and the blackberry aftertaste is rather pleasant.  If anything I might label this as a grape/raspberry hybrid and go from there.  The carbonation level for this confused liquid is small, but tingly so it never really gets in the way.  All 43 grams of sugar are accounted for as you’d never mistake this for something healthy.  This level of sweetness makes Flathead Lake Black Raspberry ride the line of “drink with meal” and “drink for dessert”.  Flavor confusion aside this is probably my favorite entry from Flathead Lake.  Great job, guys!

~A

 

Sof Drink Grape

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It has been three years since the kool kat on the Sof Drink label has visited my home.  Today this Jamaican feline finds himself on a bottle of Sof Drink Grape and I’m happy to see him.  I just got through traipsing around a cemetery so I’m a bit thirsty from all the walking.  Thankfully my tongue knew exactly what it wanted when I opened the fridge.  It wanted to be reunited with grape soda and the kool kat was the perfect door man for the job.  Even though Sof Drink Grape claims to have the original Jamaican flavor (of what I’m not sure) it still uses HFCS in its production.  Currently I’m a bit too thirsty to care and while I should be drinking water to quench this thirst my willpower isn’t strong enough to do so.  So let me dive into this grape soda and see what happens.

A grape soda without any real scent… that’s a first.  At least I think that’s a first, I didn’t really feel like researching the previous sentence so I suggest you just trust me on it.  If I place one nostril over the mouth of the bottle and inhale deeply I begin to smell a candy grape aroma, but it really is quite faint.  Something tells me the flavor will be much more powerful.

Twist things this drink is grape.

Well that’s fun.  Sof Drink Grape tastes like a melted grape popsicle with some added carbonation.  I could honestly stop writing the review at this point, but only one sentence of description might not look so hot.  It’s a very thick grape soda in the fact that it grabs hold of all the pores of my mouth and refuses to let go.  Even after the velvet curtain of syrup falls the actors on the stage stay there to be crushed under its weight.  The carbonation is the only thing keeping this beverage from being an Otter Pop that never found the freezer.  Alexander the Grape has been poured into a bottle and someone ruffled his hair up a little.  While this aspect makes it a very sweet drink it’s not so sugary that your question if you should continue consumption with each sip. 

I’ve already made the popsicle comparison twice now which shows that I really didn’t have any more in my sleeve.  This shows me that I should just stop and you just trust that the comparison is all you need to understand what Sof Drink Grape is.  It’s a tasty, thick, grape soda that tastes like a popsicle.  There I go again.

~A

 

 

Party Pop

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It’s a little after midnight and I wasn’t even sure I was going to write a review today, but apparently I am.  My wife and I live with three animals so the house is rarely quiet.  It’s so rare that when you couple a silent house with darkness it becomes a little creepy.  I snuck downstairs, as to not wake the puppy, and blindly reached into the refrigerator.  What greeted me was a fairly creepy site in itself.  Two oddly drawn children stare at me from the label of this bottle of Party Pop.  Well technically the little boy is staring at me and the little girl is infatuated with the previously mentioned boy.  I don’t know what Party Pop is, but from the label alone it claims to be “The Original Foamy Soda”.  I’m going to go ahead and call that a lie without even researching it.  Other words listed on the bottle are “sangaria”, “cheers!”, “non-alcoholic”, something written in a foreign language, and weirdest of all… “kids”.  Over the ingredients I find out that this is an apple flavored soda, so it shouldn’t be terrible because “kids”.  For as strange as Party Pop is, it’s made with HFCS so it’s not off-the-rails bizarre.  The time has come for me to try “The Original Foamy Soda” known as Party Pop.  Since the “kids” seem to love it, hopefully I will too.

I think the foreign language that’s on the bottle, and now I see on the cap, is Japanese.  For the record, this is bottled in California.  Such an odd soda.  It smells like apple juice.  I’d go into more descriptive terminology if it smelled any different than apple juice, but it doesn’t.  Apple anything isn’t listed as an ingredient.  No apple juice, artificial apple, natural (apple) flavor, mock apples, how ‘bout them apples, there’s nothing about apples.  Fantastic.  I hope this blows my socks off, because that would just complete this peculiar experience.

Twist could steal her away in an instant.

WHOA ALL THAT FOAM!  Kidding.  It is a little foamier than your standard soda, but I’m not sure I’d make it a marketing point.  Perhaps if I still had my youthful innocence I could see myself pouring this into a glass and pretending to drink beer.  That’s exactly what this is, by the way.  This is kid beer.  It’s the color of beer, it develops a head like beer, and it’s called Party Pop like beer.  It’s “kids” beer.  Anywho.  It tastes like an apple soda that didn’t quite make it. 

The carbonation level is light and fizzy, fun some might say.  On the other hand that apple juice scent I was picking up earlier isn’t quite as honest.  There is an apple flavor being represented here, but it’s constantly haunted by a bitter ghost.  Before the apple flavor even hits the bitter ghost resides in my mouth chasing all of good flavors away.  The good flavors that do stay have to walk through said ghost, thus tainting their once tasty skins.  Slimed if you will.  What I’m about to say isn’t 100% accurate, but it’s the best comparison I can think of at this time of night.  Party Pop tastes like it’s 80% Apple Juice and 20% beer.  For some reason I capitalized “apple juice”, but not beer.  No idea why, moving on.  This beer/apple juice hybrid obviously isn’t working for me, but it’s not horrible.  Actually I take that back.  With each sip I try the bitterness builds on itself making Party Pop less “pop” and more “mistake.

This kid on the label with his cocked party hat is really starting to bother me.  It’s like he’s bragging about gaining the eye of the girl next to him.  Like he’s gloating to me that she’ll never be mine.  Dude you’re like 10 at the most.  I could take you out with one punch and I’m a weak 30 something.  Whataya going to do?  “Kids”.

~A

 

Vacation in a Bottle - Pomegranate Berry

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Today’s offering from Thirst Monger comes in a very serene bottle emblazoned with a picture of the sun setting over a great body of water.  Vacation in a Bottle, or as the kids call it ViB (pronounced Vibe), is the name of the beverage and the flavor is Pomegranate Berry.  I already feel as if I’m going to enjoy it.  I’m not usually one for full bottle art, but the more I stare at this sunset the more I just want to kick back and relax.  Being the ad guru that I am, I already see something they could improve upon… their slogan.  Currently their slogan is “Drink. Chill. Be Happy!”  While this is all well and good why not switch up a few words and make it “Chill. Drink. Be Happy!”?  Chill would take on a double meaning at this point and ultimately it would just work better.  If they take my advice I expect a nice crisp Benji headed my way. 

Twist is on Step Two of the ViB three step program.

ViB is caffeine free and uses cane sugar as a sweetener.  There’s a whole host of other ingredients, so if you’re interested, look them up.  As you know I’m concerned with the taste and I’m tired of waiting.

This beverage is in an aluminum bottle which is something I wish drink manufacturers would migrate towards more often.  I’d much rather drink out of an aluminum bottle than a plastic one.  I’m sure cost comes into play here, but in my world it doesn’t, so get with the program other companies!

A somewhat easily identified pomegranate aroma flows from the large mouth of the bottle.  There is indeed another berry scent blended in, but it seems vague in nature.  I noticed my mouth started watering though as soon as I took a whiff.  At least I know the scent has created some positive ViBs for my mind.  You see what I did there?  I took the name of the soda and used it somewhat incorrectly in a sentence.

Vacation in a Bottle – Pomegranate Berry is a bit sweeter than I thought it would be.  The ingredients list 10 grams of sugar per 8 ounces so I thought it might be a little short in the sweet spot.  I was wrong.  The sweetness plays well with the pomegranate and berry flavors.  At this point I’m going to stop referring to the generic berry flavor since the pomegranate is clearly the lead actor in this play.  Carbonation is fast and light, but powerful.  It feels like a miniaturized version of the same carbonation you’d find in a Coke brand Coke.  Overall I’m quite pleased with ViB. 

The flavor is strong enough to keep me from forgetting that I’m drinking a soda, but the mouth feel is light enough that it doesn’t seem like I’m drinking straight syrup.  There is a point in each sip though where I get a quick taste of artificial.  I’m not saying that anything in this is artificial, but just be warned that the initial flavor doesn’t flow through 100%.  With that said, I’ve already finished the bottle and would drink another, so it obviously didn’t bother me too incredibly much.  All in all Vacation in a Bottle – Pomegranate Berry was a good experience.  It did many things right and few things wrong, if you see some I recommend giving it a shot.

~A

Flathead Lake Strawberry Orange

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It’s 9:00 in the morning, which is usually way too early for a soda review.  Last week though was lacking in said reviews so I figured I’d try to get an early start to this week by writing one in the A.M.  When I opened my fridge I tried to find the most breakfast like flavor and Flathead Lake Strawberry Orange was the most obvious at hand.  After pondering it for a moment I realized that strawberry orange isn’t exactly a common flavor, yet it seems like the two would pair fairly often in the soda world.  The two should create a tart yet sweet sensation that’s fun for the whole family.  I’ve never been particularly impressed with the ingredients of Flathead Lake sodas so we’ll just hope it delivers big on flavor.  That’s what this is all about anyway, right?

A fun fruit punchesque aroma simultaneously greets my nose and excites my brain for the flavor that may be contained within this glass prison.  The bright red-orange color of the soda itself is also rather inviting as the beads of condensation roll down the neck of the bottle.  If I was to rate this on just appearance and scent then Flathead Lake Strawberry Orange would be doing very well.  Of course all citizens of the Carbo-Nation know that those two are only part of what makes a soda great. 

I immediately can tell that if this were fizzier I’d like it a lot more.  There is indeed a created flavor that begins to taste like strawberry/orange yet it takes the exit to cotton candyville somewhere near the end of each sip.  This is made even more noticeable by the amount of carbonation used in the beverage as I said less than three sentences ago.  While the carbonation levels are not low by any means, if the fizz levels where higher my tongue would be focused on the tiny explosions happening on it rather than the vague sugary flavor this soda eventually becomes.  The vague sugary flavor isn’t terrible, mind you.  I just wish that the initial strawberry/orange combination had been strong enough to last throughout each swig.  Flathead Lake Strawberry Orange is still a good drink in terms of taste, look, and scent.  Thankfully, there is no terrible aftertaste, but the velvet curtain of syrup fall on the stage that is my mouth.  All in all this soda starts off quite tasty, but the soda itself is its own undoing.  Like so many sodas before it the flavor can’t support the weight of all the drinks taken prior.  This causes the soda drinking experience to go from enjoyable to consuming liquid sugar just to finish it.  It’s this aspect that makes Flathead Lake Strawberry Orange an average soda.

~A

Flathead Lake Strawberry Orange580.JPG

Twist keeps asking for a pair of tiny sunglasses.

Jack Black's Orange Stash

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I always appreciate an orange soda that uses cane sugar and orange juice (concentrate most times).  I really appreciate it when the picture on the bottle uses a pirate theme and calls it an “Orange Stash”.  In case you’re the type not to read the title of these reviews, today’s article is on Jack Black’s Orange Stash.  If I’m to believe everything I read on this label, this is only the second time this particular flavor has been available.  I’m hoping that the fact it’s an orange “stash” and not an orange soda gives me a unique beverage to try, but something tells me I may be disappointed.  Let’s find out together… as a family.

Comedy abounds in the world of Jack Black sodas.  Under the bottle cap reads the following:  “Once you have Jack Black you won’t switch back”.  JOKES.  With that said the orange scent I was expecting to come off the top of the bottle isn’t there.  If I take a strong whiff I can begin to identify the scent as orange.  Hopefully the flavor won’t be as hard to find.

The orange in Jack Black’s Orange Stash isn’t as intense as I’d like it to be, but with that said it’s a tasty treat for my tongue.  It’s not as sugary to me as your standard orange soda and this allows for the orange flavor to be enjoyed for a longer period of time.  The carbonation isn’t overly strong either which once again accentuates the star of the show, Orange.  Even though I just stated the carbonation level isn’t that high it does still have an aspect of fun to it.  It’s a light fizzy sensation that runs quickly from here to there in my mouth.  All in all Jack Black’s Orange Stash is a pretty good beverage.  The orange flavoring, while not a perfect replica, is more natural tasting than your standard orange soda.  I’m sad to say, but the downside to this soda is that it’s kind of boring.  Sure it’s a tasty beverage, but there’s not much about it that will make me want to recall it if I’m ever asked for an orange soda recommendation.  If given the option I’d drink multiple bottles of this, but I wouldn’t really cry if I ran out.

~A

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Twist is the Dread Pirate Roberts