Brain Wash

Picture a skull and crossbones staring at you from the label of your potential beverage.  Now picture the top of the skull cracked open exposing the oddly fresh brain inside of it.  That my friend is what is currently staring into my soul on this label of Brain Wash.  Brain Wash is made from the same fine folks that brought us Black Lemonade, one of the harshest beverages my throat ever dealt with.  Just like Black Lemonade, Brain Wash has amusing blurbs on its label like “This may be your only way out!” and “May cause special effects”.  Navy blue isn’t a color you usually associate with soda, but they’ve put enough Blue Dye #1 in this bad boy to reach that level.  It has a lot of the same ingredients that Black Lemonade has with a few exceptions.  Brain Wash sadly uses HFCS instead of Cane Sugar, but on the plus side also uses Sage and Jalapeno Oil.  I’m not sure how the sage will play a role in this performance, but I’m hoping the jalapeno oil is at least noticeable.  Since Brain Wash isn’t exactly a flavor I’m a little curious as to what this will most taste like in the realm of real tastes.  My initial guess is going to be a fruity ginger beverage that’s about to scald the back of my throat through the act of chemical warfare.  Let’s find out, shall we?

The initial odor I’m getting is that of green NyQuil which isn’t what you want to smell when you first open anything… except NyQuil of course.  I will say that the bubbles forming in the neck of the bottle look rather nice when contrasted against the dark blue soda.  Will they keep this from tasting like carbonated NyQuil?  No, but hopefully something else does.

A barrage of pain shoots through my sinuses as the spice/carbonation combination reaches my nose with ease.  With my mouth a bit more acclimated the second sip is much more tame allowing me to properly review this beverage known as Brain Wash.  Right off the bat I can tell you that the jalapeno oil is indeed noticeable as the back of my throat now has a (nice?) continuous burn going.  The flavor of the drink itself is rather vague, honestly it tastes like a generic blueberry soda you might find anywhere.  My brain may have just associated this vague taste with blueberry due to the hue, but it’s all I’ve got to go on right now.  Even though the base flavor itself is vague and unspectacular the experience of drinking Brain Wash is so far one I’ll remember for a long time.  Each sip assaults my mouth in every way possible.  The ginger/jalapeno/capsicum combination proves volatile at first, but calms down a bit once you’re throat learns how to cope.  The strongest of these, as mentioned before, is what I assume to be the jalapeno oil as my throat feels like it would after enjoying a spicy plate of nachos.  While this is very similar to the mouth feel of Black Lemonade I find that Black Lemonade at least had a purpose.  It was a harsh lemonade unlike anything you’d had before.  Brain Wash is a harsh… fruity… blue… drink that in my opinion the gimmick of destroying your mouth becomes nothing more than just that… a gimmick.  It’s not original because Black Lemonade exists.  It’s almost like they said “hey, Black Lemonade is doing ok… how else might we ruin someone’s vocal chords (which of course it does not do)” so they invented Brain Wash because they could.  I need more of a reason than the one I just made up for them to promote this beverage.  If you want a throat conquering soda then purchase Black Lemonade, as for Brain Wash...

~A

Twist mocks you're extreme label with his own extreme...ness?

Lester's Fixins - Buffalo Wing Soda

Today marks the end of my journey with Old 52, for the time being of course.  They supplied us with several bottles of soda to review and I’ve saved the most bizzare for last.  Cautiosly I stare at a bottle of Lester’s Fixins Buffalo Wing Soda remembering how accurate their Sweet Corn Soda tasted.  I know this is going to taste like liquid Buffalo wings, and I know that’s going to be interesting… and that’s as polite as I can say it.  On this bottle filled with orange liquid there is a picture of a Buffalo wing… just kinda laying there.  They aren’t trying to “fancy” it up; it’s just a Buffalo wing on a bottle of Buffalo wing soda.  They know what they’re doing, and they’re daring you to test it. Enough dawdling, let’s do this.

This.  Is.  Ridiculous.  It smells like Tony Chachere’s seasoning, which is a Cajun seasoning and a staple of many Southern foods.  If I pretend hard enough I think I can smell a bit of orange aroma in the background, but I’m pretty sure that’s just my brain trying to be nice to me.  All the while Lester just sits there on the bottle grinning at me, like he’s waiting on me to try it just so he can see my reaction for his own amusement.  As I’ve said so many times before… let’s amuse Lester.  It’s pretty much my catch phrase.

Ok, so I chickened out just a bit and took the tiniest of sips.  I could have sworn I got a granule of spice in between my teeth when I did it too.  The flavor I received wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t of this world either.  Time to dive in head first.  When it first hits your mouth it tastes a bit like orange soda and that sweetness grasps the inside of your mouth and hangs on even after you’re finished with your current gulp.  The Buffalo sauce flavoring swings in midway and finishes out the experience.  It’s almost like the orange is opening for the Buffalo.  Ever been to a concert where the opener is better than the main event… that’s Lester’s Buffalo Wing Soda.  I’m swishing it around my mouth as I type this wanting to say that it’s horrible, but it’s not.  Don’t get me wrong I’m never going to buy this for myself again, but I can actually drink it.  There’s a spicy kick at the end of each gulp that I would liken to ginger, but it’s not as over powering as ginger can be.  Originally I was going to heat this up and pour it over chicken, which I never bought, because I thought it would be so terrible I wouldn’t get past sip one.  Well I’ve almost finished half the bottle and all is going well.  My stomach is burning a bit, so the after effects (which won’t be listed here) might not be so nice.  Lester’s Buffalo Wing Soda walks that fine line between “prank soda” and “legitimate soda” but tips its hat more towards “prank”.  Of course I have to compare this to all the other sodas I’ve rated, but it’s not going to be as low as I thought it would be.  Malta Hatuey, Beverly, and even Lester’s Sweet Corn are far, far worse than this.  With that said, and my stomach burning and bubbling I leave you with this fun fact.

“Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo” is a working sentence.  Look it up!

~A

Iguana tastes nothing like Buffalo wings... the rumours are FALSE

Rocket Fizz - Gram's Cracker

In front of me I have another Rocket Fizz concoction.  The flavor is officially named Gram’s Cracker, but I think we can all assume that it’s a graham cracker flavored soda and not a cracker flavored soda made by a guy named Gram.  I knew a guy named Gram once, good guy, moving on.  I’m already a little sad to be drinking this soda because I’ve already had Rocket Fizz S’mores Soda which included what I think would be the same graham cracker finish.  Aside from that the S’mores soda also had hints of chocolate and marshmallow, leaving Gram’s Cracker with the remaining solitary flavor.  Are three flavors better than one?  Well the Party Rock themed review I wrote a few days ago would tell you that isn’t always true.   I have a task ahead of me though, so let’s get to it shall we?

Maybe I spoke too soon.  I can unequivocally, yup, went there, say that this smells very strongly of graham cracker, much more so than the S’mores soda did.  Rocket Fizz Gram’s Cracker also smells a bit like burnt cake, but this isn’t off putting by any means.  Let’s see if this would make good ol’ Reverend Graham happy as a substitute for his age old crackers.

Bizzare.  This seems like something I would end up trying at my local carnival.  The graham cracker taste is most certainly there, but I’m not sure I would identify it as such if I didn’t know the flavor I was imbibing.  This has a cream soda taste mostly with a graham cracker finish.  Oddly enough the taste reminds me of those little boxes of animal crackers you’d find at the grocery store.  No, not the bubble shaped ones where you can’t tell hippo from hawk.  I’m taking about Barnum’s Animal Crackers, the one with the actual string handle.  The carbonation level is adequate.  Hey there’s a spider crawling across my shirt.  That’s a little freaky, one sec as I peacefully remove him.  Ok, back.  As I was saying, the carbonation levels aren’t anything to write home about, they blend rather seamlessly into the soda drinking experience.  My biggest qualm is actually how sugary this soda is.  S’mores soda didn’t taste as sweet as this, and without chocolate and marshmallow I’m not sure why Gram’s Cracker reaches this level of sweetness.  There you have it.  Rocket Fizz Gram’s Cracker is somewhat graham cracker flavored, somewhat animal cracker flavored, and somewhat cream soda flavored, all while being too sweet.

~A

One of Twist's middle names is Gram.

Rocket Fizz - Mud Pie

When I picked up this bottle of Old 52 supplied soda I had one question.  What is a mud pie?  My wife said they were treats that composed of chocolate and marshmallows, and then showed me such a treat in the store.  “Huzzah!” I thought to myself, or I said allowed in the store… who knows depending on my mood.  Then later someone reminded me of a Mississippi Mud Pie which is a super chocolaty pie with chocolate filling and crust.  “Huzzah!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, which was rather awkward since we were at the dry cleaners.  As you may have guessed, and I’m saddened if you haven’t, today’s soda is mud pie flavored.  To be more specific the soda of the day is Rocket Fizz Mud Pie soda.  Rocket Fizz has surprised me so far in how good their oddly flavored sodas tasted.  Today they won’t be able to get the sneak attack on me as I’m ready for this to be tasty.  The soda itself is dark amber which give me hope in the amount of chocolate I’ll taste.  Older readers, those of you who have been diligent in following us not those of you over a certain age, may remember when we were on the search for a non-diet chocolate soda.  Well we eventually found one, but it was pretty hit or miss.  Hopefully Rocket Fizz Mud Pie is a more consistent contender.  Let’s find out, shall we?

I’m a little off put by the lack of chocolate scent hitting the inner workings of my nose.  I can smell it, but I really have to pull it in.  For some reason I’m getting more coffee than chocolate, but if I remember correctly that’s how S’mores soda started off as well.  So all is not lost just yet.  On with the tasting!

Whelp, I’m saddened.  Just as the scent warned this tastes more of coffee, mocha really, than it does chocolate.  This is a shame as I’m not a fan of coffee at all.  You can tell they didn’t mean for it to taste like coffee as I said it does at least have the rumblings of mocha.  If this was truly a coffee soda I wouldn’t still be drinking it for this review.  I’m pretty sure the review would say “Gross.  Coffee Soda.  Run Away”.  I’m not really sure why I capitalized every word in that fake review, but that’s a path we’ll have to wonder about later.  The carbonation I’m greeted with here is light, but noticeable.  At least they went the right route when choosing the amount of bubbly to put into this lie.  I can’t imagine a heavily carbonated coffee/chocolate soda; both of those things need a smoother mouth-feel than other sodas in my opinion.  So now I sit here contemplating what to rate Rocket Fizz Mud Pie.  On one hand I could probably finish this bottle, on the other I feel that the flavor listed is a lie.  I’m sorry Rocket Fizz, but you had the chance to really knock something out of the park this time.  Instead as I threw you the pitch you pulled out a tennis racket.

~A

Twist makes a mean mud pie.

Rocket Fizz - Green Apple Jalapeno

Oh hi, didn’t see you there!  This is Aaron… you know, the Soda Jerk.  Today I have the great fortune of drinking a soda from our old buddies at Old 52.  They aren’t called Old 52 because they’re our old buddies; life is just funny like that sometimes.  Any-doodle, Old 52 has sent us this delicious bottle of Rocket Fizz Green Apple Soda!  Mmmm MMMM!  Being our old buddies, Old 52 knows how much I love green apple soda, especially when it's sweetened with cane sugar.  This is apparently some sort of Mexican green apple soda because it has some sort of funny word after the flavor “Green Apple”.  The funny word printed on the bottle is Jalapeno.  Have you ever heard of anything so crazy?  I haven’t.  Crazy!  Any-scoot, I took German in High School like the good little Texan I am, so you and I can experience this crazy ride called Rocket Fizz Green Apple Jalapeno (tee hee, it still makes me giggle) together.  Bottoms up!

Yowza!  That certainly smells like our old friend Green Apple!  It’s like picking a green apple off the tree and slicing it open like a red delicious apple.  Something spooky is going on here though.  Every time I smell it the inside of my nose parts feel a little burning sensation.  Ah well, that must be the fresh mountain air that was used to grow these delicious green creatures.  Time for drinkin!

What the French, toast!   It seems our “old friends” at Old 52 have pulled the wool over our eyes!  Rocket Fizz Green Apple Jalapeno does have the delicious, delicious taste of fresh grown green apples, but after that it goes straight to heck… literally!  After I felt my thirst was quenched the back of my throat burst into flames causing enough pain to really cheese me off!  I guess this is what Jalapeno means in Spanish… trick soda!  As much as it hurts me I still go back to it so that I might enjoy the green apple flavoring they nailed down so well you’d swear it was glued.  RASPBERRIES, THAT STINGS!  Each flipping sip is followed up by the fires of Mordor, and just when I think I’m getting used to it the flames flare up once again making me regret my last decision.  I thought that the carbonation bubbles were also my old friends, but they don’t seem be on my side either.  The bubbles just kind of add more sizzle to the flame.  Is no one on my side?  Oh yeah, the green apple is!  One second while I go use the internet then double check my information on the encyclopedia, one can never be too safe, on what a Jalapeno is.

Well shoot me in the face with a sling shot of mud.  Did you know a Jalapeno is a pepper?  Now that I think about it every time they talked about them in the show Gargoyles they were in a rather “spicy” situation.  It just goes to show you that you can never doubt Goliath.  With that said who would ruin a perfectly good soda with a pepper… especially when you can’t even taste the pepper itself, just the heat.  I think if I were to make this soda again I’d probably add more jalapeno flavoring to it and not worry so much about the burn factor, but what do I know… I’m just a bear.

~A

You'll never find something more fiery than Twist.

Rocket Fizz - Banana Nut

I’m trying to alternate between “odd” and “normal” flavors of the sodas sent to me by Old 52.  Looking at what I have in stock I realized that I’m going to run out of the “normals” fairly soon.  Therefore today’s soda shall be placed in the “odd” category.  Rocket Fizz Banana Nut is what’s on the plate…erm… in the bottle today!  You may remember our first Rocket Fizz review, and it would make sense if you did since it was only three reviews ago.  Rocket Fizz uses cane sugar… oh sorry, PURE cane sugar, to sweeten and a variety of chemicals and natural flavors to flavor.  Rocket Fizz Banana Nut has an American beer like color, or something similar to mixing orange soda with lemonade.  I’m most interested in seeing if I can taste the nut in this banana nut soda.  For my 29 and younger readers here’s where you make a joke about nut soda… I know I have.

The smell is impressive.  The aroma reminds me of banana nut bread and the auto shop where I get my oil changed.  That’s not to say it smells like a garage just that my auto shop smells rather pleasant and more like banana nut bread than I originally thought.  I wish it smelled of warm banana nut bread, but I can see how that might be difficult to replicate with a cold beverage.  On with the tasting!

Rocket Fizz is really good at what they do.  They put out these flavors like S’more and Banana Nut which you wouldn’t think would work as a soda… yet they do.  This tastes like banana nut bread, and yes youthful readers I can really taste the nuts.  The carbonation level here is very strong as thousands of tiny bubbles explode on the surface of your tongue, screaming in the process as if they’re trying to get the most out of their fleeting lives before they die.  The aftertaste of Rocket Fizz Banana Nut is very similar to those orange foamy candy circus peanuts you might find in your stocking if you’re my step-mother.  She loves them so very much.  This means that the after taste hints a little of how paint smells, but nothing so terrible I wouldn’t recommend consuming this beverage.  Over all Rocket Fizz did a fantastic job replicating banana nut bread with the flavors of all three coming through in the perfect ratio.  Could I drink a bunch of these in a row?  No, but I would like to have multiple on hand.

~A

Twist first invented banana nut bread as a way to stave off the flu.

Lester's Fixins - Sweet Corn Soda

I’m not even quite sure how to introduce today’s soda up for review so I think I’m just going to blurt it out.  It’s sweet corn soda.  Well to be more accurate it’s Lester’s Fixins Sweet Corn Soda.  Before you think about this too long I believe this is indeed corn soda.  Two very large, prominent, ears of corn on the bottle tell me that if I think otherwise I’m just a fool.  The bottle label is an appropriate yellow with a small picture of who I can only assume is Lester at the top left.  Underneath the unmistakable pictures of corn reads the phrase “Y’all get yer fixins!”  For those of you not raised in the southern United States fixins are usually a component of a main meal.  Say you’re having ham for dinner; you might have corn, potatoes, and a roll as your “fixins”.  I’m not saying that I use this term on a daily basis, but I’m also not saying that I don’t have family that does.  By far the most amusing part of this bottle of Sweet Corn Soda is the fact that it’s made with pure cane sugar.  Corn soda not made with HFCS… HI-LARIOUS!  A closer look at the ingredients only proves to be incredibly vague.  There’s no telling why I’m not more nervous about drinking a bottle of Sweet Corn Soda, let’s find out if I should be.

Ok, I’m terrified now.  The scent of Lester’s Fixins Sweet Corn Soda smells exactly, EXACTLY, like sweet corn.  I’m also getting a hint of buttery popcorn with each visit my nose takes to the top of this bottle, hoping I’ll eventually smell something more forgiving.  Whelp, like I said I’m now scared silly to even try this in fear of instant vomiting.  Wish me luck Carbo-Nation.  If I do indeed die the website will go to the last man standing… or the first one willing to pay $22 a month.  Here goes…

No, I don’t want to do this anymore.  That was super weird and nauseating all in one sip.  I’m going to try and tell you as much as I can get out of that one sip before I even think about trying Sweet Corn Soda ever again.  The initial experience, and I mean it lasted milliseconds, wasn’t that bad… in fact it was just another sugary treat.  Quickly replacing the generic fizzy sugary drink was the overpowering taste of sweet corn…cold… carbonated… sweet corn.  That very distinctive sweet corn taste doesn’t let go of your tongue either, it holds on for dear life making you remember the folly you made for a few minutes more.  Happily I can’t taste the sweet corn anymore.  Sadly I must now get a refresher for your amusement and knowledge.  I think all of the sweet corn power is in the aftertaste.  I have a theory that if I just swish this around in my mouth it won’t be a terrible experience.  Wait just one second as I test this, please.  My theory is somewhat accurate.  Even though the smell of sweet corn hits your nose every time you bring the bottle up, if you just keep the soda in your mouth you aren’t hit with the sickly taste of sweet corn soda.  Of course this doesn’t allow you to ever allow the soda to vacate the premises of your mouth, making living rather unpleasant.  Each sip just builds on itself until your mouth is awash with sweet corn.  I think if I tried I could finish this bottle of soda, but I reaaaallly don’t want to.    I will say that Old Lester certainly told no falsehoods when telling me what flavor this soda would be.  They said it was sweet corn, and it was most certainly sweet corn.  If I ever run into Lester’s products in the future I’ll know good and well to believe in whatever flavor his bottle displays.

~A

Iguana is not a "fixin".

Rocket Fizz - S'mores

Old 52 recently sent us a variety of sodas to review.  It’d be an understatement to say that these are untraditional flavors.  In fact many of the flavors, brands, and ingredients I’ll be reviewing for them are downright bizarre.  So it looks like that Old 52 knows The Soda Jerks and the Carbo-Nation pretty well.  With that said, it’s time to raise our bottles and drink a S’more!  That’s right I said, nay typed, S’more.  Rocket Fizz S’mores sits on my desk today.  The label consists of a man flying around the earth whilest sitting on a rocket.  This is all done in a retro style, but at the same time looks like a 10 year old drew it… I’d wear it.  I notice right away that Rocket Fizz S’mores is made with pure cane sugar, so we’re off on the right foot… um bottle… something.  The rest of the ingredients are fairly average so it’ll be interesting to see how they capture graham cracker, chocolate, and marshmallow with them.  Time for the opening!

The scent coming out of the mouth of the bottle is a graham cracker/coffee combination.  I think I can smell a hint of burnt marshmallow (which is fine since it’d be over a fire anyway), but I’m unable to smell any discernible chocolate aroma.  At this point two of the three key ingredients are in attendance at the smell portion; hopefully the ever important chocolate will make his appearance shortly.  It’d be rather awkward to put chocolate on the side of a milk carton in hopes of finding him.  I think people would get confused.

Within the first sip you taste the missing chocolate, a small amount of coffee, graham cracker, and the hintiest of marshmallow.  Each sip following the first only builds on the foundation initially laid.  The chocolate starts to overpower the coffee taste, the graham cracker really steps up in flavor, but the marshmallow still sits quietly in the back hoping not to get noticed.  Carbonation level is not a problem in Rocket Fizz S’mores, and it shouldn’t be with the name Rocket FIZZ.  Oh can you imagine the rant I’d have gone on if Rocket Fizz soda had little fizz.  Consider yourself lucky Rocket Fizz, or just be thankful that your creators took that into account.  Onward.  The aftertaste of Rocket Fizz S’mores trades between a mocha coffee and a cream soda.  It’s a very dirty aftertaste in the fact that grabs hold of the inside of your mouth and doesn’t let go.  I’ll be honest with you, and why wouldn’t I be as I don’t get paid to lie… or tell the truth… or at all.  Rocket Fizz S’mores has surprised me greatly.  I went into this thinking I was going to be drinking a novelty soda, a one-time buy.  I could see myself drinking this again… happily.  Sure, improvements could be made.  They could increase the chocolate flavoring just a smidge, and the marshmallow should be brought up to match.  With that said, Rocket Fizz S’mores has made me excited to try more of these oddly flavored drinks.  I don’t have a closing sentence to wrap this all up with, so I wrote this one instead.

~A

Twist has improved upon the S'more but it's too delicious for human consumption

Stander - Mint Soda

   “We're a German based non-alcoholic mint flavoured Premium Soda”.  Those are some of the words written to me in an e-mail by the nice people at Ständer.  Of course I had to oblige.  There isn’t much in that description that I could say no to for very long.  What I got from them was a package of Ständer soda along with a coaster and a bar napkin.  I have so many questions now!  Will I hate this?  Will I love it?  Am I hip enough to drink something from an 8 oz. black metal bottle?  Will this freshen my breath in any way?  Going back one question and speaking of the 8 oz. black metal bottle… this is some of the coolest packaging I’ve ever seen associated with a soda.  Looking at the ingredients on the side I feel even better about my soon to be consumed beverage:  Filtered Sparkling Water, Natural Beet Sugar, Natural Lemon and Spearmint Flavor, Citric Acid, Natural Caffeine, Vitamins B6, B12, B7 and B5.  The only bit of color on the black bottle is a picture of three mint leaves (in the appropriate color) with the words “mint your mind” underneath them.  I’m not really sure what “minting my mind” consists of but I’m willing to try anything once… well not ANYTHING but “soda anything”.  Ok, I can’t handle writing about what this might be like any more.  I have to try it now!

   WOW!  That is certainly filled with mint.  It smells like I just crushed up mint leaves in my hands and inhaled them.  That is THE most unique smelling soda I’ve ever encountered.  Obviously I’ve smelled mint before but never coming out of my soda bottle.  I can’t state the strength of the smell enough.  It’s a very strong, very minty, almost alcoholic (but it’s not) scent.  Enough chatter… time for the drinking.

   Ok… that’s odd.  Initially I experience a refreshing taste that’s light on carbonation.  You can definitely taste the spearmint and as of right now it may be too much for my palate.  I’ve also given a taste of this to my co-worker and he says he liked it but he’s also a huge fan of spearmint.  I’ll include his rating at the end of this review along with mine.  I’m finding that if I take larger sips/gulps it helps with the strong spearmint taste… maybe because the rest of my tongue gets to experience it instead of just a concentrated area.  If I did indeed drink alcoholic beverages this seems like it would mix amazingly with some of them.  Sorry, I haven’t taken you through the drink gamut yet.  Hold on, here we go!  As soon as you drink Ständer you are greeted with that spearmint flavor that I’ve now mentioned too many times.  That washes away leaving a cleaner aftertaste but not letting you forget about the unique flavor you just consumed.  At no point in this process do you ever forget that you’re drinking mint soda and for that they should be applauded.  I’ve reviewed Lavender and Juniper Berry  flavored soda both of which tasted more like somewhat flavored sparkling water.  Ständer on the other hand is not backing off the flavor listed on their label in the slightest.  You take your awesome looking black metal bottle; you beat off the hipsters in the club groping as said bottle trying to look cooler to their respective peers.  Then you open said bottle and inhale what is obviously spearmint.  Drinking it you try not to look too surprised at what you taste, although you are, because if you look surprised you lose the look of “that cool guy with the hip metal bottle.”  Then flocks of hipster chicks/guys make their way toward you so that they too can experience mint soda.  Now… were my questions answered?

Will I hate this?  - No, not at all.  The spearmint flavoring was off putting at first but I got used to it.

Will I love it?  - No, I don’t love it either but I do like it.

Am I hip enough to drink something from an 8 oz. black metal bottle?  - I’m pretty sure this 8 oz. bottle would at least make me feel like I had more cred at a club.

Will this freshen my breath in any way? – As far as I can tell… no, not really.

Were my questions answered? – Well, yes.  You just read them.

(Note: This soda was given to us by Ständer)

The only being in the universe that is scientifically cooler than a Ständer bottle... is Twist

Dry Soda: Juniper Berry

   Juniper Berry… what is it?  The first sentence on the Juniper Berry Wikipedia page states that…

Ajuniper berryis the femaleseed coneproduced by the various species ofjunipers.

Well that's fine and dandy like sour candy, but it doesn't tell me what it'll taste like.  Let me start over.  I'm drinking another concoction of Dry Soda; in fact their Juniper Berry flavored soda.  The last Dry Soda I had was lavender flavored, and it confused me.  I know to expect a very lightly flavored drink with some bitterness to follow.  Let's find out if this Juniper Berry Soda is as predictable as I think it will be.

This drink smells like a flower in a garden.  I can’t even imagine the taste, so that means I probably can’t predict the flavor.  Time to upend, and serve.

   Upon first drink you’re initially hit with a seltzer water flavor, which is a bit off putting.   The side of the bottle does say that it has a “pine essence”.  While I don’t know what that means in the world of flavor, it could be what I tasted.  Afterwards, and you do have to wait a bit, you’re greeted with the most subtle berry flavoring you’ve ever experienced.  It’s just enough to take away the bitterness of the previous flavor.  They have cane sugar listed as an ingredient, but this has little to no sweetness.  I will say that it’s a very crisp drink, and I’m noticing with each sip the berry flavor starts to outweigh the initial seltzer.  I have a one big gulp left, and I really think it’s time to ramp it up a bit and CHUG SOME JUNIPER BERRY!  Wow, the floral aroma really hits you while chugging.   It’s an odd sensation to drink a flower, but this is probably the closest I’ll ever get.  Random Fact:  According to the Dry Soda website this pairs well with Quail.  So you know… the next time you’re enjoying some quail… pull out your Juniper Berry flavored Dry Soda.  When I drink Dry Soda I almost feel like my palette isn’t complex enough to fully comprehend it, and then I see them suggest quail as a pairing… and I sigh.  Dry Soda Juniper Berry, and Dry Soda as a whole it seems, is not for someone who thinks they love soda.  Juniper Berry, much like lavender, is so complex it’s intimidating.  I know I was all over the place with this review, but it’s so unique that my verdict will mirror Lavender… and probably every other Dry Soda I try from here on out.

~A

Twist insisted this picture be grainy... something about a skin flaw.

Coco Fizz

  We’ve been looking for a chocolate soda to try, but alas they are all diet.  Thankfully the folks at the Durango Soda Company make Coco Fizz, a non diet chocolate soda.  This beverage also has the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory label on it, so I assume they had a hand in making it too. 

  The label is disappointing in a lot of ways, for one it’s pretty boring.  I don’t think “chocolate” when I see an off white label with brown bubbles.  Secondly there is no actual cocoa in this beverage.  They do have cane sugar, but past that and the triple filtered carbonated water it’s just chemicals.  Maybe it’s hard to actually incorporate cocoa into a carbonated beverage, I don’t know.  I just find it a bit weird that it’s a chocolate soda, with the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory label on it… but there’s no chocolate listed as being in it.  Enough of this, let's upend and open.

  When you first open the bottle the chocolate aroma comes pouring out.  It makes you want to drink the beverage right away.  While I’m not happy that it’s a chemical filled beverage, the smell makes up for a lot of what I said earlier… if it can deliver on taste as well.  We don’t hate chemical beverages if they taste great… just look at Stewart’s Key Lime.  Check your watch, cause it’s time to drink.

  The first thing I think of when I drink Coco Fizz is that it tastes like carbonated Yoohoo.  You are greeted with a good chocolate flavor, but it’s not overpowering.  You aren’t refreshed by any means, but I don’t think you’re supposed to be.  This to me would qualify as a “treat”, or a “dessert soda”.  There is a slight cola undertone, but not nearly enough that you would even put this in the cola category.  When I tried this for the Popcast I thought that Coco Fizz had a very consistent flavor, chocolaty from start to finish.  Now that I’m drinking my review bottle it seems more watery at times; I don’t know if that’s my memory being faulty, or if it’s hard to make a consistently flavored chocolate soda.  The change in flavor does lower my opinion of Coco Fizz a bit though… the drink, not the folks who make it.  The aftertaste is sweet, and very pleasant.  You mouth will remember that you had a chocolate flavored item, and you will be happy that your mouth can do that.  Overall it’s an interesting beverage, a treat as I stated before.  It’s not something that you must have, but it’s something that you’d probably like to try… and maybe share with your friends.

~A

Fun Fact:  Twist is a recovering Choc-o-holic.  We're teasing him by making him pose for this picture.

(Note:  This beverage was provided to us by ZuberFizz)