Zevia Orange (Fan Review!)

   I never thought in my entire life that I’d be reviewing soda. Honestly? It’s like a dream come true. I love soda, always have. I drink it like the average person drinks water. I love trying new soda, bizarre flavors, little known brands, imports. I just effing love soda. Get it?

   And I love reviewing things. I review video games, music, films, so getting to review soda is basically like a dream.

   I guess the first thing I’ll say is this soda, Zevia’s sugar free all-natural orange soda, is pretty good. Underwhelming? Okay, it’s absolute carbonated pleasure wrapped in a folly of decadent flavorgasms hitting you one-by-one in rapid succession with the ferocity of a trillion lions made out of lightning. It’s pretty good.

   The first thing I noticed was how tame the carbonation was in contrast to how pungent the flavor was. It was interesting, I suppose I’m so used to pure cane soda that I’ve become accustomed to the hard hitting bite of Jones Soda, for example. It’s certainly not that intense to the mouth but the flavor is all there. There is a subtle tang to the drink, one can assume that’s the orange in there, but it’s also kind of masked behind the sugar substitute used.

   The substitute is…lemme make sure I get this right…erythritol. It’s a sugar alcohol derived from fruits themselves. It’s certainly not bad, and unlike most substitutes I’ve tasted in my time the aftertaste is actually almost more pleasant than the sip, but it is strong enough to make you wonder where the orange flavor went.

   All in all the drink tastes wonderful, it’s got a sweet kick to it with a unique tame sort of texture and a nice aftertaste. It’s all packaged nicely into a vibrant orange can with a sort of style that’s reminiscent of the cans Fresca comes in. It’s simplistic and stylish and even has a little symbol that lets you know it’s vegan. Vegans get their own soda?

   Overall I think Zevia’s orange soda hits a really great mark for sugar free sodas. It doesn’t taste like they tried to make up for the fact that they were using an alternative sweetener, it taste like they really worked with what they had and it shows. It’s sweet and pleasant. I’ll always say pure cane sugar is king but if you’re going the sugar free route this is about as good as it gets.

~K

Jarritos Jamaica (Fan Review!)

Jarritos translates to "little jars". On the bottle you see lots of little clay pots. Perhaps if they sold this beverage in such containers, it would withstand more than what my tile floor could give.

I was given this bottle to review, and as soon as I stepped into my house, it fell and broke. My floor is still sticky.

Being the nice guy I am, I went and purchased another bottle so this review could get done for the loyal readers of TheSodaJerks.net.

This flavor is Jamaica, which is translated in English: Jamaica. We actually know it better as Hibiscus.

I've had Hibiscus flavored tea, but I don't know much about the fruit/flower/whatever it is. It sounds nice, though. I actually thought that it might be pot flavored because isn't that what Jamaica is known for? Thankfully I was wrong.

The color is a bright red, so I was thinking that it would taste like a fruit punch. It actually kind of reminds me more of a sweet tamarind flavor. I know that flavor is very popular in Mexico, but I'm personally not a fan. It is sweet and refreshing, but there is a sour aftertaste that can be off-putting.

I don't think I'll buy this flavor again, but I have to tell the readers to buy a bottle. I did. Maybe try another variety, however.

~R.Z.

Jarritos Pineapple (Fan Review!)

   When of the Jerks (its ironic because they are both so incredibly nice.) came to me and asked me to review Jarritos Pineapple soda, I got excited.  Pineapple soda is one of my favorites.  I think it goes Cherry cola, Cherry soda, Pineapple soda.  In that order.  That being said, I have yet to try Virgil’s Real Cola and that has received rave reviews from just about every person I know, but until then, Pineapple > just about everything else ever.  Two things immediately stand out to me: 1) It comes in a glass bottle.  Fancy.  2) It is made with 100% real sugar. That is Azucar Real-o in Spanish.  Or maybe it isn’t. and c) It has almost no scent what so ever.  That kind of scares me a little.  Pineapple flavoring is typically pretty bold, and taste is 90% smell so by my calculations this will be 83.6% tasteless.

   Well the good news is my math was wrong:  It is only about 4% tasteless. It does not quite punch the same kick as say a Sunkist or a Pinafiel.  Now that doesn’t mean that it is lacking in any way shape or form, because occasionally Sunkist can be a little too overbearing with the flavor, but Jarritos does not suffer from that problem.  I don’t really have anything negative to say about this soda, but I don’t have anything positive to say about it either.  It is completely ordinary.  The flavor isn’t quite as bold, and the carbonation not quite as harsh.  It is your typical pineapple soda as far as taste and refreshment qualities go.  The only real difference is the sugar replacing the high fructose corn syrup.  So wait, the managed to create a pineapple soda that tastes exactly like pineapple soda but without high fructose corn syrup?  Well then maybe Jarritos is a winner after all!

D.W.

Three, three, three drinks in one.... picture.

Deerfield's Orchard Black Cherry (Fan Review!)

   Normally in the past when I encounter a soda that is either unfamiliar to me or that peaks my interest I would go ahead and pick it up and give it to the Jerks to review.  But on this particular occasion I came across a soda that I could not bring myself to give away.  I am a fruit soda maniac, and Black Cherry is my mecca. 

   The bottle is very simple and straight forward:  a clear yet curvy glass bottle with a logo, some very important writing that I will get to in a minute, and a picture of some cherries.  It could definitely use some work, but it gets the point across.  Now that very important writing is that this soda contains no high fructose corn syrup. 

   My expectations for this soda are incredibly high going into it. So without further ado:

   I open the bottle and take a whiff.  It smells like just about every other black cherry soda I have had, only fresher, riper, and cleaner.  Now the cleaner part is the part that excites me the most.  Alot of black cherry sodas come across as overpowering highly carbonated versions of black cherry kool aid, and while I am a big kid at heart, I long for something more.  This drink delivers.  The first sip floods my mouth with a sweet black cherry flavor and my immediate reaction is to swallow, drink, swallow, drink and before I can even figure out why I like it so much half of the bottle is gone.  I put the bottle  down and back away slowly in an effort to collect my thoughts.  My first thought is that I definitely should have bought more than one.  The flavor is sweet but not overpowering, in fact it is the perfect level of flavor.  The carbonation is lighter than most soda but it only serves to enhance the flavor.  This soda is incredibly refreshing and from the first sip to the last drop in the bottle the flavor does not falter at all.

   That being said, there are two problems:  1) Deerfield is only available at Walgreens and Walgreens are not as common as they used to be.  Luckily for me, there is a 24 hour Walgreens not too terribly far from work, and another one less than a block from work.  2)  They are a little on the expensive side.  I believe that I paid 1.79 for a single 16 ounce bottle.  Actually, I will confirm that in an hour or so when I get back with a few more bottles for my weekend!  So what if it is 3:00 am local time?!?!  This soda is that good! Dont Judge me!

DW

Hotlips Raspberry Soda (Fan Review!)

   So as a friend of the Jerks and an avid soda drinker I was extremely excited about having the opportunity to submit a fan review.  When the jerks came to me and said "We know you like fruit sodas would you like to try Hot Lips Raspberry?"  I got even more excited.  I love all soda, but fruit flavored soda's always stand head and shoulders above the rest for me.  Now take into account that raspberry soda is not all that common and I could hardly wait to get my lips on Hot Lips!

   The bottle art is fun.  The pictures of the raspberries and the lipstick kiss seem to imply that it will be a smooth soft raspberry flavor.  For some reason, it actually reminds me of Hot Lips Hoolihan and MASH.

   The ingredients list is very small but one that stands out from them is lemon juice.  As someone who does alot of cooking, I dont typically associate lemon juice with subtle flavor so that concerns me.

   The smell is absolutely divine.  As close as you can get to fresh raspberries in a bottle, but with a gentle touch of lemon.  The smell leads me to believe that this experience will end in epic glory or epic fail.  I am really hoping for epic glory, and as I take my first sip the taste of raspberries fills my mouth and a feeling of epic fruit soda glory touches my senses. I swallow only to notice that the taste of raspberries evaporates rather quickly and is replaced with that pesky lemon flavor that the ingredients list and my nose warned me about.  It is almost a faux lemon flavor.*  In fact the after taste is almost an exact match to the packets of lemon in our break room at work that claims to be real lemon but if I ever bit into a lemon and it tasted like that, I would throw it back at whoever picked it.  Overall the taste is almost like a raspberry pie filling.  The carbonation is very soft, more like a sparkling water than a soda, and while that would normally not be a fun fact for me, it serves this drink very well.  This drink covers refreshment with tact and subtlety instead of the brutish force of high fructose corn syrup and loads of carbonation. 

* After talking with Jerk A I learned that Hot Lips had a problem with the lemon in this particular batch, and I feel that without the overwhelming lemon problem, this soda would be absolutely incredible.

Dan W, DW, DDub or whatever else you wanna call me

(Editor's Note - The folks at Hotlips sent us a more recent batch with less lemon involved in it... Dan Re-reviewed Raspberry below)

Alright so last night I got to pick up a bottle of the new batch of Hot Lips Raspberry from Aaron, and after letting it chill for about 12 hours, I decided I could wait no longer. Upon opening the cap I notice a difference in the smell from the first one. The assault of lemon is gone, as promised. Instead a nice smooth scent of ripe raspberries promise a taste that you will probably have never experienced before.

The first sip delivers on the smells promise! A perfectly smooth raspberry flavor fills my mouth and instead of the lemon-esque after taste, all you taste is more raspberries saying a soft goodbye as they travel further away from your taste buds. The flavor is a marked improvement from the first batch, however I feel like something is missing... The carbonation. It is there but it is incredibly light, so much so that I had to actually look for it. The first batch was a refreshing change of pace from the heavy over carbonation that most beverages offer, but this is almost too lightly carbonated. I say almost bcause it still manages to be incredibly refreshing and the light carbonation still distinguishes it against plain old raspberry juice.

I also noticed that it is bottled by Hot Lips Pizza Company. Now I have to wonder, if they take this much care and pride in their sodas, brewing each batch manually and adapting on the fly, I can only wonder how amazing the pizza would be!

Overall, I have to say that the folks at Hot Lips have left me incredibly impressed. Their customer service has been outstanding, I mean here I am some random guy in Texas drinking a hot lips, that I didnt even pay for because the jerks gave it to me, and they were so concerned about our satisfaction that they sent out a sample from the new batch for me to try. On top of that they offer some incredibly diverse and unique flavors like raspberry and pear (which I cannot WAIT to try!) that atleast to me are far more rewarding than most mainstream sodas.

Rating - Buy a pack because your friends deserve to try this too, and two very big thumbs up (Aaron=Aggie so this is a bit of deference) for the people over at Hot Lips!!

D.W.

Maaza Guava Juice (Fan Review!)

It's so o oo oh UH OH  shizznittlebamsnipsnapsnappy juice:)  I found this drink in a Pakistani grocery store.  It's a pretty popular drink so you can find it somewhere.  Just look for it in any Indian/Pakistani store.  It is probably, no DEFINITELY the fruitiest drink i have ever tasted.  I'm not very familiar with the guava fruit but it makes you want to move somewhere the fruit is located.  It also kept me energized.  I don't know if it is because there is so much sugar in it or maybe it has caffeine. i don't know. look it up!

T.M

Jones Soda Crushed Melon (Fan Review!)

Comparison Review of Jones Pure Cane Soda, Crushed Melon flavor

By Roy and Becky

Purchased at Big Lots for .70/bottle...Buy yours now!

First Impression:

R - Nice label picture of a cat

B - What kind of melon is *that* color?

Color:

R - light orange

B - peach

Bouquet:

R - The smell of melon is distinctive and inviting.

B - It smells like melon-flavored candy.

Taste:

R - It has a clean, sweet taste; and I can taste the cane sugar.

B - It doesn't have a specific, identifiable melon flavor. It has more of a generic melon flavor.

Finish:

R - It has a pleasant, lingering taste.

B - It leaves a light fizz in your mouth.

Rating:

R - I really like it!

B - I like it.

Not actual bottle consumed.  Sadly that is not a snowboarding cat