B63 (Fan Review!)

    I seldom receive the opportunity to review an energy drink from outside the United States. Off the top of my head, I can only recall Ubershot and Hype Energy Drink as the only foreign beverages I have had the pleasure of consuming. I am pleased to announce that they both did well, especially Ubershot, which is probably the 2nd or 3rd greatest energy shot I have tried. Now, the opportunity to review a foreign drink has presented itself yet again. This number comes from Switzerland, a beautiful country 4,000 miles from where I reside. Thankfully, the shipment was successful and I found it on my doorstep within a week or so.

    Inside the box that contained my samples of B63, as it’s called, were two six-packs of the beverage along with a stylish t-shirt, which I happen to be wearing right now. The packaging is, I must admit, relatively generic. It utilizes the well-known 8 ounce aluminum can with blue and red colors. This had me worried. I was starting to get some concern over what the flavor might be, and I really started to hope it wasn’t a Red Bull clone.

    Please don’t taste like Red Bull, please don’t taste like Red Bull, I thought as I heard the unmistakable click, pop of the aluminum cracking open. Desperately hoping for something unique and different, I took my first swig. Unfortunately, my hopes and desires fell way short. I instantaneously noticed the all too familiar flavor of the world’s most popular energy drink. Yes, it is palatable and it has a nice flavor, but it is still frustrating to think that they can’t formulate a unique flavor profile file. Actually, anything different from Red Bull would have been satisfactory.

     Inside each can of B63, you will find the traditional ingredients. A plethora of B Vitamins along with 80 milligrams of caffeine and 1,000 milligrams of taurine are what powers this Scandinavian drink. This is adequate enough to provide a decent amount of effectiveness from the overseas beverage.

    For all of you Swiss readers of The Soda Jerks, I’m quite sure that you have seen this energy drink. Unless I am greatly mistaken, this appears to be your version of Red Bull. If you’ve ever tried Red Bull, then you already know what it tastes like. I say try it if you like Red Bull, but don’t expect something different.

A2E

Limonad (Fan Review!)

I work in Wheeling, IL, which is a suburb of Chicago. For some reason we have a pretty sizable Russian community here, not of whom, I am convinced, are involved in legit activities.

That being said, there is a supermarket here, Garden Fresh, which stocks all kinds of strange products from Russia, Bulgaria, Poland etc. including soft drinks.

I decided to give some a try, this is Limonad from Russia. OK, it’s got a little elf on the front and loads of medals and awards so how bad can it be? I used to drink Jic Jac when I was a kid. I took it to work and asked a Russian colleague to translate the name (because I can’t read it, obviously) and she said “it supposed to remind us of our childhood”.

A friend who saw it was a little troubled that I was going to drink it. “It’s yellow and it’s from Russia. Do you know what the color reminds me of?” It does resemble some samples I had taken to the doctor once for testing.

Undaunted, I opened the bottle to enjoy with my Rahmen noodles tonight. It has an odd smell, like some kind of medicine my mom used to give me when I was sick. When I took my first sip and my taste buds sent terrible signals to my brain.  It’s highly carbonated, not sweet at all, and has a bitter herbal taste, like anise if you’ve ever tasted that. It reminded me of some of the flavored schnapps I used to get in Sweden which had little twigs and leaves in the bottle but was “good for your health”. This, honestly, has to be one of the worst things I have ever had the misfortune of drinking, and I couldn’t even finish the bottle. It boggles the imagination to think that someone is brewing this stuff up, putting it in a bottle and people are spending their hard earned rubles to purchase and consume it.  So now I am trying to figure out what’s really up with smiling elf on the bottle and why it has won all those awards. Maybe it mixes well with vodka and can remove rust.

Hype Energy Drink (Fan Review!)

Hello Everyone! My name is Avery, and I will be writing a guest review for The Soda Jerks. I feel very venerated to be able to compose a review for such a lovely website. But before I get a little too supercilious, let’s check out the drink I will be reviewing.

Straight from the depths of the Netherlands comes the energy drink known as Hype. When I started reviewing energy drinks back in the ancient times of 2009 Hype Energy Drinks was a brand that I absolutely had to review. This was mostly due to some popular reviewer giving it an extremely high rating for taste. Email after email, I desperately tried to secure some samples of this drink, but I did not succeed. Miraculously, just last week I received an email from Hype asking if they could send samples. Rather than angrily typing out that I sent them several previous emails, I graciously accepted the package.

When it arrived, I was simply awestruck by the impeccable, sophisticated, and downright gorgeous product display. Instead of simply wrapping their cans in bubble wrap, the folks at Hype Energy put their cans in a sleek, black box. Each can being in their own little compartment. Fantastic! I proceeded to remove Hype Original from its compartment and examine the can. It certainly is not the greatest looking can I’ve ever laid eyes on, but with its vivid and attention-getting blue can with eye-catching silver letters, it should have no trouble popping off the shelf.

 Needless to say, I couldn’t wait any longer and simply had to take a few sips. I must admit, I was expecting a Red Bull clone, but fortunately Hype is so much more than that. Yes, it does have that same tartness that Red Bull has, but the flavor is actually an indescribable mixture of berries. Some individuals may not enjoy this, but I thought it was very unique. It isn’t the world’s greatest tasting energy drink, but it still manages to bring something new to the table. And after all, isn’t that what you really want in a world full of Red Bull clones? I say, if you see this in your local grocery store, do not be afraid to give it a try. You might like it.

Like what you see here from Avery?  Look at so much more of it on his website Addicted 2 Energy!

Did scrolling down the length of this beverage make you feel naughty?

Yardy Roots Malta (Fan Review!)

So I'd been browsing online for a birthday present, weird soda for my brother. Most of the stuff I looked up, good reviews and all. But wait! There was one that wasn't. Yardy Roots Malta, Malt Based Root Tonic.

Sounds Jamaican frankly, and it looked odd enough. I'd already gotten enough "good" soda and one more would put me over the top on the minimum amount I needed to get it shipped. Into the shopping car it went.

Cue several days and a birthday later. The bottle was opened, and immediately things did not smell good. It smells like molasses, which if you've never smelled molasses, well it is frankly awful. Like tree sap gone rotten. But hey, molasses (in small quantities) can taste perfectly fine. So ignoring exhortations to the contrary into a glass went some ice and some of the dark brown liquid.

Now the good news here is that much like molasses it doesn't taste as bad as it looks. The bad news is that it just doesn't taste very good. A tangy, sweet/bitter taste that frankly reminds one a lot of molasses in taste as well. Sips and gulping it down didn't improve things much. Letting it sit, just for the sake of thoroughness, was a bit unpleasant, clearly not very close to "enjoyable".

I'd not go so far as to say that there isn't ANYONE out there that wouldn't somehow enjoy this strange concoction. I didn't spit it out in vaporized disgust, and managed to drink well enough for a review. But "Buyer Beware" is definitely a warning to take into consideration.

Son of Thomp

*editors note - if you can find a picture of this particular soda I'd be most pleased.  In case you don't know, that's the best way to live... best pleased.*

Jarritos Tamarind (Fan Review!)

   When “A” gave this to me to try, I was not only excited, but honored to partake in a review. I thought I’d try to give a slightly different perspective on the drink, so I gave my whole family the opportunity to try it out and let me know what they thought.  So without further ado, here’s my family’s take on Tamarind Jarritos.

   I made sure to chill the bottle for a few hours before trying it. My wife says my steel stomach can tolerate anything, but nothing upsets my stomach more than a warm soda.  I open the bottle, after a much to do in locating the bottle opener, and let it breathe. I like to treat my soda like a fine wine. Not really, but I figured it couldn’t hurt. Before I let the tasting commence, I take a sniff. Not really much of a tamarind scent.

   First to try it out was my four year old daughter. I poured some into a small glass tumbler and she took a sip. She liked it. She told me it was sweet and wondered if she could have her own bottle. She was of course bummed when I told her this was the only one.

My two year old girl was up next. I poured her a glass and she took a taste. She didn’t mince words.

“That was good. Can I have some more, Daddy?”

“Sure.”

“Mmmm.”

   Next was Little O. He’s one, so his vocal communication skills aren’t all there, but his actions spoke for itself. He grabbed the bottle from my hands and almost finished it all. I was able to wrestle it back to have enough for my wife and me to try.

   I hand the bottle to my wife and she takes a taste. I read her initial reaction as confused. Then she said that she could tell it was tamarind, but it was watered down. It was good, but for her she needed a stronger flavor to come through.

   Finally I take my turn. I have to agree with my wife. Not because I have to…ok, most times I have to…oh ok, I have to, but this time I was given the unique chance to express my own opinion. So here’s my moment to say whatever and what do I go and do? Agree with my wife. Though I will say this in addition, I feel as though the tamarind flavor is distinguishable enough that it shouldn’t taste like anything else but tamarind. This drink definitely made me guess.

R.G.S.P.O.

How can you NOT want to buy this soda?

Jarritos Jamaica (Fan Review!)

Jarritos translates to "little jars". On the bottle you see lots of little clay pots. Perhaps if they sold this beverage in such containers, it would withstand more than what my tile floor could give.

I was given this bottle to review, and as soon as I stepped into my house, it fell and broke. My floor is still sticky.

Being the nice guy I am, I went and purchased another bottle so this review could get done for the loyal readers of TheSodaJerks.net.

This flavor is Jamaica, which is translated in English: Jamaica. We actually know it better as Hibiscus.

I've had Hibiscus flavored tea, but I don't know much about the fruit/flower/whatever it is. It sounds nice, though. I actually thought that it might be pot flavored because isn't that what Jamaica is known for? Thankfully I was wrong.

The color is a bright red, so I was thinking that it would taste like a fruit punch. It actually kind of reminds me more of a sweet tamarind flavor. I know that flavor is very popular in Mexico, but I'm personally not a fan. It is sweet and refreshing, but there is a sour aftertaste that can be off-putting.

I don't think I'll buy this flavor again, but I have to tell the readers to buy a bottle. I did. Maybe try another variety, however.

~R.Z.

Jarritos Pineapple (Fan Review!)

   When of the Jerks (its ironic because they are both so incredibly nice.) came to me and asked me to review Jarritos Pineapple soda, I got excited.  Pineapple soda is one of my favorites.  I think it goes Cherry cola, Cherry soda, Pineapple soda.  In that order.  That being said, I have yet to try Virgil’s Real Cola and that has received rave reviews from just about every person I know, but until then, Pineapple > just about everything else ever.  Two things immediately stand out to me: 1) It comes in a glass bottle.  Fancy.  2) It is made with 100% real sugar. That is Azucar Real-o in Spanish.  Or maybe it isn’t. and c) It has almost no scent what so ever.  That kind of scares me a little.  Pineapple flavoring is typically pretty bold, and taste is 90% smell so by my calculations this will be 83.6% tasteless.

   Well the good news is my math was wrong:  It is only about 4% tasteless. It does not quite punch the same kick as say a Sunkist or a Pinafiel.  Now that doesn’t mean that it is lacking in any way shape or form, because occasionally Sunkist can be a little too overbearing with the flavor, but Jarritos does not suffer from that problem.  I don’t really have anything negative to say about this soda, but I don’t have anything positive to say about it either.  It is completely ordinary.  The flavor isn’t quite as bold, and the carbonation not quite as harsh.  It is your typical pineapple soda as far as taste and refreshment qualities go.  The only real difference is the sugar replacing the high fructose corn syrup.  So wait, the managed to create a pineapple soda that tastes exactly like pineapple soda but without high fructose corn syrup?  Well then maybe Jarritos is a winner after all!

D.W.

Three, three, three drinks in one.... picture.