Lester's Fixins - Buffalo Wing Soda

Today marks the end of my journey with Old 52, for the time being of course.  They supplied us with several bottles of soda to review and I’ve saved the most bizzare for last.  Cautiosly I stare at a bottle of Lester’s Fixins Buffalo Wing Soda remembering how accurate their Sweet Corn Soda tasted.  I know this is going to taste like liquid Buffalo wings, and I know that’s going to be interesting… and that’s as polite as I can say it.  On this bottle filled with orange liquid there is a picture of a Buffalo wing… just kinda laying there.  They aren’t trying to “fancy” it up; it’s just a Buffalo wing on a bottle of Buffalo wing soda.  They know what they’re doing, and they’re daring you to test it. Enough dawdling, let’s do this.

This.  Is.  Ridiculous.  It smells like Tony Chachere’s seasoning, which is a Cajun seasoning and a staple of many Southern foods.  If I pretend hard enough I think I can smell a bit of orange aroma in the background, but I’m pretty sure that’s just my brain trying to be nice to me.  All the while Lester just sits there on the bottle grinning at me, like he’s waiting on me to try it just so he can see my reaction for his own amusement.  As I’ve said so many times before… let’s amuse Lester.  It’s pretty much my catch phrase.

Ok, so I chickened out just a bit and took the tiniest of sips.  I could have sworn I got a granule of spice in between my teeth when I did it too.  The flavor I received wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t of this world either.  Time to dive in head first.  When it first hits your mouth it tastes a bit like orange soda and that sweetness grasps the inside of your mouth and hangs on even after you’re finished with your current gulp.  The Buffalo sauce flavoring swings in midway and finishes out the experience.  It’s almost like the orange is opening for the Buffalo.  Ever been to a concert where the opener is better than the main event… that’s Lester’s Buffalo Wing Soda.  I’m swishing it around my mouth as I type this wanting to say that it’s horrible, but it’s not.  Don’t get me wrong I’m never going to buy this for myself again, but I can actually drink it.  There’s a spicy kick at the end of each gulp that I would liken to ginger, but it’s not as over powering as ginger can be.  Originally I was going to heat this up and pour it over chicken, which I never bought, because I thought it would be so terrible I wouldn’t get past sip one.  Well I’ve almost finished half the bottle and all is going well.  My stomach is burning a bit, so the after effects (which won’t be listed here) might not be so nice.  Lester’s Buffalo Wing Soda walks that fine line between “prank soda” and “legitimate soda” but tips its hat more towards “prank”.  Of course I have to compare this to all the other sodas I’ve rated, but it’s not going to be as low as I thought it would be.  Malta Hatuey, Beverly, and even Lester’s Sweet Corn are far, far worse than this.  With that said, and my stomach burning and bubbling I leave you with this fun fact.

“Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo” is a working sentence.  Look it up!

~A

Iguana tastes nothing like Buffalo wings... the rumours are FALSE

Rocket Fizz - Gram's Cracker

In front of me I have another Rocket Fizz concoction.  The flavor is officially named Gram’s Cracker, but I think we can all assume that it’s a graham cracker flavored soda and not a cracker flavored soda made by a guy named Gram.  I knew a guy named Gram once, good guy, moving on.  I’m already a little sad to be drinking this soda because I’ve already had Rocket Fizz S’mores Soda which included what I think would be the same graham cracker finish.  Aside from that the S’mores soda also had hints of chocolate and marshmallow, leaving Gram’s Cracker with the remaining solitary flavor.  Are three flavors better than one?  Well the Party Rock themed review I wrote a few days ago would tell you that isn’t always true.   I have a task ahead of me though, so let’s get to it shall we?

Maybe I spoke too soon.  I can unequivocally, yup, went there, say that this smells very strongly of graham cracker, much more so than the S’mores soda did.  Rocket Fizz Gram’s Cracker also smells a bit like burnt cake, but this isn’t off putting by any means.  Let’s see if this would make good ol’ Reverend Graham happy as a substitute for his age old crackers.

Bizzare.  This seems like something I would end up trying at my local carnival.  The graham cracker taste is most certainly there, but I’m not sure I would identify it as such if I didn’t know the flavor I was imbibing.  This has a cream soda taste mostly with a graham cracker finish.  Oddly enough the taste reminds me of those little boxes of animal crackers you’d find at the grocery store.  No, not the bubble shaped ones where you can’t tell hippo from hawk.  I’m taking about Barnum’s Animal Crackers, the one with the actual string handle.  The carbonation level is adequate.  Hey there’s a spider crawling across my shirt.  That’s a little freaky, one sec as I peacefully remove him.  Ok, back.  As I was saying, the carbonation levels aren’t anything to write home about, they blend rather seamlessly into the soda drinking experience.  My biggest qualm is actually how sugary this soda is.  S’mores soda didn’t taste as sweet as this, and without chocolate and marshmallow I’m not sure why Gram’s Cracker reaches this level of sweetness.  There you have it.  Rocket Fizz Gram’s Cracker is somewhat graham cracker flavored, somewhat animal cracker flavored, and somewhat cream soda flavored, all while being too sweet.

~A

One of Twist's middle names is Gram.

Fentimans Cherrytree Cola

Everyday I’m shuffin’… through the bottles in my fridge to figure out which one to review.  I wish one would just jump out at me.  LMFAO!  I can’t believe Old 52 sent us a bottle of Fentimans Cherrytree Cola!  For your information Fentimans Cherrytree Cola is a Fermented Botanical Cherry Drink with Ginger and Herbal Extracts.  That’s what the label says anyway.  This isn’t a level of fermentation though that would keep anyone of any age from purchasing it legally.  I’ve always liked the look of Fentimans bottles and the use of the Cherrytree Records logo (the two companies are linked by this drink) is a great addition.  It’s like the bottle is sexy and it knows it.  Fun fact from Wikipedia:  Cherrytree Records was founded by a Martin Kierszenbaum.  Funner fact from Wikipedia: Kierszenbaum (Kirs zen baum) is German for Cherry Tree.  This beverage in front of me is certainly a higher end soda as it uses cane sugar and ginger root as two of its ingredients.  Let’s see if it’s just as fun to drink as it is to look at.  Everybody just have a good time!

It’s not the strongest aroma you’ll smell, but a good whiff of Fentimans Cherrytree Cola will tell you they aren’t lying about the flavor.  The scent is more of a rich aroma than it is a pungent one.  I can tell there’s a lot going into the soda I’m about to upend into my mouth.  So come to my table, and take a sip.

Unique, I’ll give it that.  I don’t initially think of cherry cola when I’m drinking it which is odd.  The ginger is more overpowering than I thought it would be, but it doesn’t mask the cherry flavor to the point of vanishing.  This shares in the cherry flavoring better than Reed’s Cherry Ginger Brew and that was primarily a cherry beverage where this is a cherry cola.  This certainly tastes fermented a bit, and I’m not positive that’s working too well with the cola.  The cola base is very strong, but is held back by the constant reminder that you have two other flavors to deal with.  Fentimans Cherrytree Cola is like a dance battle in your mouth.  First you have Cola who steps up and reminds you why you joined this crowd of people to watch these random dancers.  He’s good, but not amazing, still worth your time though.  Then Fermented Cherry, or FC, jumps in and kicks Cola in the leg… breaking it.  You immediately don’t like him because he’s already a bit of a jerk (not the good kind), but you still watch in hopes that he’ll be entertaining.  Just as FC starts to grow on you his partner Ginger jumps in and makes the whole scene annoying.  She’s up in your face, screaming at you to “Take it to the Hole”, trying to get you to cheer more for her boy FC, but you’re just not having it.  All you really want is Cola to come back alone and dance or maybe just partner with FC.  Like many dance battles there’s just one too many players here for it to be completely enjoyable.  Remove one and you’d have either a smooth cherry cola, or a fun ginger cola.  Ok, I need to stop.  Hatin’ is bad.  I’m still going to suggest you buy a bottle as it’s a unique soda that I feel should be tried at least once, but I’m not promising it’ll be a night you won’t forget.  As for me… well I just kinda wish I had a Hot Dog.

~A (I work out)

Twist is NOT sorry for party rockin'

Rocket Fizz - Mud Pie

When I picked up this bottle of Old 52 supplied soda I had one question.  What is a mud pie?  My wife said they were treats that composed of chocolate and marshmallows, and then showed me such a treat in the store.  “Huzzah!” I thought to myself, or I said allowed in the store… who knows depending on my mood.  Then later someone reminded me of a Mississippi Mud Pie which is a super chocolaty pie with chocolate filling and crust.  “Huzzah!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, which was rather awkward since we were at the dry cleaners.  As you may have guessed, and I’m saddened if you haven’t, today’s soda is mud pie flavored.  To be more specific the soda of the day is Rocket Fizz Mud Pie soda.  Rocket Fizz has surprised me so far in how good their oddly flavored sodas tasted.  Today they won’t be able to get the sneak attack on me as I’m ready for this to be tasty.  The soda itself is dark amber which give me hope in the amount of chocolate I’ll taste.  Older readers, those of you who have been diligent in following us not those of you over a certain age, may remember when we were on the search for a non-diet chocolate soda.  Well we eventually found one, but it was pretty hit or miss.  Hopefully Rocket Fizz Mud Pie is a more consistent contender.  Let’s find out, shall we?

I’m a little off put by the lack of chocolate scent hitting the inner workings of my nose.  I can smell it, but I really have to pull it in.  For some reason I’m getting more coffee than chocolate, but if I remember correctly that’s how S’mores soda started off as well.  So all is not lost just yet.  On with the tasting!

Whelp, I’m saddened.  Just as the scent warned this tastes more of coffee, mocha really, than it does chocolate.  This is a shame as I’m not a fan of coffee at all.  You can tell they didn’t mean for it to taste like coffee as I said it does at least have the rumblings of mocha.  If this was truly a coffee soda I wouldn’t still be drinking it for this review.  I’m pretty sure the review would say “Gross.  Coffee Soda.  Run Away”.  I’m not really sure why I capitalized every word in that fake review, but that’s a path we’ll have to wonder about later.  The carbonation I’m greeted with here is light, but noticeable.  At least they went the right route when choosing the amount of bubbly to put into this lie.  I can’t imagine a heavily carbonated coffee/chocolate soda; both of those things need a smoother mouth-feel than other sodas in my opinion.  So now I sit here contemplating what to rate Rocket Fizz Mud Pie.  On one hand I could probably finish this bottle, on the other I feel that the flavor listed is a lie.  I’m sorry Rocket Fizz, but you had the chance to really knock something out of the park this time.  Instead as I threw you the pitch you pulled out a tennis racket.

~A

Twist makes a mean mud pie.

Howdy - Lemon Lime

Howdy!  Not hello, hi, how are you, ‘sup, or anything else.  I’ve greeted people this way for years now.  Heck I said it so much it was my nickname for a while.  Some might say it’s because I’m a Texan, but a lot of Texan’s don’t say “Howdy”.  I guess it sounds just a bit too country for them.  My grandfather used to say “Howdy Do”, which of course is short for “How do you do?”  I’ve always felt that “Howdy” sounded friendlier than other greetings and my time at Texas A&M proved that to me.  People would greet one another on campus with a friendly “Howdy” even if the recipient was a stranger.  So you see, whenever you label something with the word “Howdy” you’re already in my good graces.  Today’s soda, once again supplied to us by Old 52, is Howdy Lemon Lime.  From the research I’ve done I learned that Howdy Lemon Lime is the original 7up formula.  The bottle even says “The Taste that made Lemon Lime Famous”.  Frequent or observant readers of the site may remember that 7up is my favorite lemon-lime soda of the big 3.  So now we have a soda with one of my all-time favorite words that’s also the original formula for one of my favorite mainstream lemon lime sodas.  Howdy has been around since 1920 and of course is made with pure cane sugar.  Enough chatter, this green glass bottle is starting to sweat out of nervousness that I’m not going to drink it.

Howdy Lemon Lime has a strong citrusy aroma.  My nose can sense that this may be sourer than I originally thought.  The sweetness lilts in my nose after the sour has dissipated.  Congratulations Howdy, your scent has made me thirsty. 

There is certainly more lime in here than I bargained for and I love it.  So often when a soda is labeled with being flavored lemon-lime you get a generic citrus taste where each flavor can’t be discerned.  Howdy Lemon Lime breaks that mold and allows you to taste both the lemon and the lime individually.  I’m sure using lime juice and lime oil help this cause tremendously as it’s the lemon that’s usually too overpowering for its green brethren.  Carbonation wise it fizzes just enough to tickle the tonsils (or back of the throat if you’re tonsil free) on its way down.  Lime steps out first shocking your senses, making you wonder about lemon.  As lime drifts away lemon steps up and socks you in the face leaving you licking your lips tasting the sour fruit.  Howdy Lemon Lime both improves my mood and makes me sad.  I’m happy for all of the reasons listed above.  I’m saddened because this is what 7up could have been today.  With all that said color me pleased to have tasted Howdy Lemon Lime.

~A

Twist says "Howdy", do you?

Rocket Fizz - Green Apple Jalapeno

Oh hi, didn’t see you there!  This is Aaron… you know, the Soda Jerk.  Today I have the great fortune of drinking a soda from our old buddies at Old 52.  They aren’t called Old 52 because they’re our old buddies; life is just funny like that sometimes.  Any-doodle, Old 52 has sent us this delicious bottle of Rocket Fizz Green Apple Soda!  Mmmm MMMM!  Being our old buddies, Old 52 knows how much I love green apple soda, especially when it's sweetened with cane sugar.  This is apparently some sort of Mexican green apple soda because it has some sort of funny word after the flavor “Green Apple”.  The funny word printed on the bottle is Jalapeno.  Have you ever heard of anything so crazy?  I haven’t.  Crazy!  Any-scoot, I took German in High School like the good little Texan I am, so you and I can experience this crazy ride called Rocket Fizz Green Apple Jalapeno (tee hee, it still makes me giggle) together.  Bottoms up!

Yowza!  That certainly smells like our old friend Green Apple!  It’s like picking a green apple off the tree and slicing it open like a red delicious apple.  Something spooky is going on here though.  Every time I smell it the inside of my nose parts feel a little burning sensation.  Ah well, that must be the fresh mountain air that was used to grow these delicious green creatures.  Time for drinkin!

What the French, toast!   It seems our “old friends” at Old 52 have pulled the wool over our eyes!  Rocket Fizz Green Apple Jalapeno does have the delicious, delicious taste of fresh grown green apples, but after that it goes straight to heck… literally!  After I felt my thirst was quenched the back of my throat burst into flames causing enough pain to really cheese me off!  I guess this is what Jalapeno means in Spanish… trick soda!  As much as it hurts me I still go back to it so that I might enjoy the green apple flavoring they nailed down so well you’d swear it was glued.  RASPBERRIES, THAT STINGS!  Each flipping sip is followed up by the fires of Mordor, and just when I think I’m getting used to it the flames flare up once again making me regret my last decision.  I thought that the carbonation bubbles were also my old friends, but they don’t seem be on my side either.  The bubbles just kind of add more sizzle to the flame.  Is no one on my side?  Oh yeah, the green apple is!  One second while I go use the internet then double check my information on the encyclopedia, one can never be too safe, on what a Jalapeno is.

Well shoot me in the face with a sling shot of mud.  Did you know a Jalapeno is a pepper?  Now that I think about it every time they talked about them in the show Gargoyles they were in a rather “spicy” situation.  It just goes to show you that you can never doubt Goliath.  With that said who would ruin a perfectly good soda with a pepper… especially when you can’t even taste the pepper itself, just the heat.  I think if I were to make this soda again I’d probably add more jalapeno flavoring to it and not worry so much about the burn factor, but what do I know… I’m just a bear.

~A

You'll never find something more fiery than Twist.

Lemmy Sparkling Lemonade

I didn’t feel like thinking today so the soda I picked should make for a simple review.  Again we dip into the stash sent to us by Old 52 General Store.  From said stash I have pulled out Lemmy Sparkling Lemonade.  This should be easy, right?  Lemmy has been around since 1939, and judging by the art style their creepy lemon mascot has made that journey right along with them.  A couple of notes about the ingredients, it is noted that Lemmy is both made with cane sugar and real lemon juice.  So perhaps the drop of drool coming out of the creepy mascot lemon’s mouth is warranted.  I may make several more mentions of this creepy mascot, who I can only assume is Lemmy, but I’d still happily tote some merchandise with him on it.  The side of the bottle reads as such:  Since 1939 Lemmy is the original sparkling lemonade drink.  For the taste of fresh squeezed lemons, just say “Lemme have a Lemmy”.  Now that the bottle has told us what to expect flavor wise I think it’s time to find out if Lemmy is a liar.

Lemmy Sparkling Lemonade both looks and smells like lemonade.  That’s an insanely boring sentence, but it is what it is.  I will say that it’s a rather fresh burst of lemon that you get when you smell the bottle opening; hopefully the flavor is equally enjoyable.

They should call this “Shimmering Lemonade” instead of “Sparkling Lemonade” as the carbonation level is very low.  I’m not even sure most would realize this was carbonated at all if it didn’t say so on the bottle.  Only at the end of each swig do the carbonation bubbles make an appearance, lightly dancing on my molars.  The lemonade flavor is just that.  I wouldn’t say that this tastes like fresh squeezed lemons, as that would be much tarter than Lemmy tastes.  Then again I’ve never understood why any beverage would say that it tasted like fresh squeezed lemons… oranges maybe, but lemons?  You’d be drinking straight lemon juice, and that’d be pretty terrible after a while for most.  Thankfully Lemmy tastes like above average lemonade.  Lemmy’s tart to sweet ratio is right on the money, neither one outdoing the other.  Overall Lemmy gets the job done.  It’s nice to drink on a warm November day like today (82 degrees btw), or a cool November night like tonight (low of 48).  I like Lemmy more than I initially thought I would.  I wasn’t expecting lemonade of this quality, and even though the bubbles are few and far between they do just enough to set this apart from normal lemonade.  Way to go Lemmy!  Now stop looking at me like that.

~A

One guess where Lemmy got that pose.

Jic Jac - Blue Raspberry

Today’s drink is a vibrant blue color, and everyone knows that if it’s blue it MUST be raspberry flavored.  I’ve ranted about my hatred of blue raspberry before so for the sake of Old 52, who supplied us with this soda, I’ll refrain.  Jic Jac Blue Raspberry is the official name of the soda at hand, but according to the label all I need to do is “Just Say” Jic Jac.  It’s a nice simple slogan on an even easier logo.  It’s very retro looking and coupled with a fun name like Jic Jac it moves it into the top 5 for me… logo wise.  Of course Jic Jack Blue Raspberry is made with cane sugar, but what I didn’t expect to see in the ingredients was raspberry extracts.  It’s rare that I actually see the word “raspberry” on anything raspberry flavored anymore.  So maybe my initial judging was a bit too harsh.  Let’s find out, shall we?

Ok, so the smell makes me a little more excited as well.  The aroma alone from the drink portrays that it’s both sweet and sour.  It also tells me that what I’m about to taste is similar to raspberries.  I know, I know, a raspberry soda should smell like raspberries… sadly that is not the case most times.  Usually a raspberry soda smells more like random candies than raspberries.  While Jic Jac does smell of candy the raspberry smell is what first catches and holds onto your olfactory glands.  Taste time!

There’s the sour, and there’s… the… sweet.  The sweet took a little longer than I thought to reach my taste buds.  Jic Jac Blue Raspberry soda is fairly average.  Initially you’re greeted with candy raspberry flavoring touched with sour.  As you move the soda around in your mouth the sour intensifies up until it makes its way down your gullet.  After the soda leaves your mouth the sour sensation dissipates into sweetness, that while slight, reminds me of cotton candy.  My favorite part of this journey is when Jic Jac is residing upon your tongue getting more intense by the second.  It sits in there like an angry hive of bees, rasp-bee-ries if you will.  These rasp-bee-ries don’t like to be shaken, but who does?  With each swish of your mouth they begin to sting your tongue.  Fed up with having your tongue stung you swallow, only to have them scrape the back of your throat as they perish.  Such is the life of a rasp-bee-ry.  Only with a burp do the haunting spirits of the rasp-bee-ries get to give their final farewell.  Even though I just likened Jic Jac Blue Raspberry to having a mouth haunted with magical ghost bees I stick by my original assessment that it’s average.  Nothing about it blew me away, but I wouldn’t mind trying other Jic Jac flavors.  I could be biased due to the fact that we’re talking about a blue raspberry soda, then again I could be spot on.  I guess the only way you’ll know is if you… (see what I’m doing here)

~A

Twist always questions his own mortality when put next to something blue

Rocket Fizz - Banana Nut

I’m trying to alternate between “odd” and “normal” flavors of the sodas sent to me by Old 52.  Looking at what I have in stock I realized that I’m going to run out of the “normals” fairly soon.  Therefore today’s soda shall be placed in the “odd” category.  Rocket Fizz Banana Nut is what’s on the plate…erm… in the bottle today!  You may remember our first Rocket Fizz review, and it would make sense if you did since it was only three reviews ago.  Rocket Fizz uses cane sugar… oh sorry, PURE cane sugar, to sweeten and a variety of chemicals and natural flavors to flavor.  Rocket Fizz Banana Nut has an American beer like color, or something similar to mixing orange soda with lemonade.  I’m most interested in seeing if I can taste the nut in this banana nut soda.  For my 29 and younger readers here’s where you make a joke about nut soda… I know I have.

The smell is impressive.  The aroma reminds me of banana nut bread and the auto shop where I get my oil changed.  That’s not to say it smells like a garage just that my auto shop smells rather pleasant and more like banana nut bread than I originally thought.  I wish it smelled of warm banana nut bread, but I can see how that might be difficult to replicate with a cold beverage.  On with the tasting!

Rocket Fizz is really good at what they do.  They put out these flavors like S’more and Banana Nut which you wouldn’t think would work as a soda… yet they do.  This tastes like banana nut bread, and yes youthful readers I can really taste the nuts.  The carbonation level here is very strong as thousands of tiny bubbles explode on the surface of your tongue, screaming in the process as if they’re trying to get the most out of their fleeting lives before they die.  The aftertaste of Rocket Fizz Banana Nut is very similar to those orange foamy candy circus peanuts you might find in your stocking if you’re my step-mother.  She loves them so very much.  This means that the after taste hints a little of how paint smells, but nothing so terrible I wouldn’t recommend consuming this beverage.  Over all Rocket Fizz did a fantastic job replicating banana nut bread with the flavors of all three coming through in the perfect ratio.  Could I drink a bunch of these in a row?  No, but I would like to have multiple on hand.

~A

Twist first invented banana nut bread as a way to stave off the flu.

Johnnie Ryan - Cherry

Dipping into the Old 52 vault I find myself staring at a very red soda.  It’s called Johnnie Ryan, and the front of the bottle doesn’t even hint what flavor this might be.  Along with the words “Johnnie Ryan” adorning the neck I see that it’s a “Cane Sugar Soda” and a “Delicious Ryan Beverage”.  Heck even their slogan “First for Thirst” (written in fancy script) can be found, but no flavor.  Looking at the back of the bottle I once again see that I’m going to consume a Johnnie Ryan soda, this time their logo large enough to show you the cane and top hat that are synonymous with Johnnie Ryan I suppose.  This time the neck reads “’A Real Refresher’ Since 1935”.  It’s not until I look at the bottle cap that the words “Ryan Cherry” are able to solve my simple mystery.  Part of me likes the fact that the flavor is only on the bottle cap and part of me is annoyed.  I’m annoyed because I wanted to easily identify the flavor.  Is it red soda, cherry, cranberry, raspberry, punch… who knows?  I think I’m going to tip my hat, and cane, to the fact that the flavor is only on the bottle cap.  There’s something about this bottle of Johnnie Ryan soda that says “class”.  This is one of the classiest bottles I think I’ve ever put my hands one.  It has a great look to it that sets it apart from other bottled beverages.  Heck even the shape of the bottle is different enough to catch ones eye.  This isn’t an art lesson though, this is a soda review.  Now I’m burdened with the task of tasting this cherry soda.  Oh, how will I survive?

Johnnie Ryan Cherry soda greets you with a delightful cherry scent.  It’s light enough that I know this won’t be a paltry cherry drink jammed with chemicals until I can’t enjoy the other aspects it has.  It’s also heavy enough that I know I’m about to enjoy a terrific cherry soda… or so I think.

Wonderful.  Johnnie Ryan Cherry  Soda washes over your tongue with a great amount of cherry flavoring.  The amount of carbonation is perfect!  It seems to start off with fewer larger bubble and quickly dissipates into many tiny bubbles which tickle your palate with a wonderful sensation.  Jonnie Ryan Cherry has a thicker mouth feel during the aftertaste portion, but since the flavor sits so well I don’t think you’d mind it.  This compares to a good cherry candy with the sweetness level lowered just a skosh.  Jonnie Ryan is a tremendous dessert beverage, or I could even see it being consumed on a hot summer day in the shade of your favorite tree.  I never had a favorite tree growing up, in fact no one I knew did.  Did you ever read The Giving Tree?  That story made me mad the first time I ever read it and every time since.  ‘Thanks Tree for all this stuff you’ve given me.  I’ve given you nothing in return, unless you’re just super into mutilation.  For sticking with me for all these years I’m going to murder you and sit on your carcass.’  Sad.  Don’t get me wrong, I love Shel Silverstein.  I just never could get behind that story.  Where was I?  Oh yes!  Jonnie Ryan Cherry is a fantastic drink.  Its simple flavor made me happy.  It’s rare that a drink has the ability to improve my mood, but Jonnie Ryan did just that.

~A

Oddly enough Twist was actually the "First for Thirst" but was disqualified for using his powers.

Lester's Fixins - Sweet Corn Soda

I’m not even quite sure how to introduce today’s soda up for review so I think I’m just going to blurt it out.  It’s sweet corn soda.  Well to be more accurate it’s Lester’s Fixins Sweet Corn Soda.  Before you think about this too long I believe this is indeed corn soda.  Two very large, prominent, ears of corn on the bottle tell me that if I think otherwise I’m just a fool.  The bottle label is an appropriate yellow with a small picture of who I can only assume is Lester at the top left.  Underneath the unmistakable pictures of corn reads the phrase “Y’all get yer fixins!”  For those of you not raised in the southern United States fixins are usually a component of a main meal.  Say you’re having ham for dinner; you might have corn, potatoes, and a roll as your “fixins”.  I’m not saying that I use this term on a daily basis, but I’m also not saying that I don’t have family that does.  By far the most amusing part of this bottle of Sweet Corn Soda is the fact that it’s made with pure cane sugar.  Corn soda not made with HFCS… HI-LARIOUS!  A closer look at the ingredients only proves to be incredibly vague.  There’s no telling why I’m not more nervous about drinking a bottle of Sweet Corn Soda, let’s find out if I should be.

Ok, I’m terrified now.  The scent of Lester’s Fixins Sweet Corn Soda smells exactly, EXACTLY, like sweet corn.  I’m also getting a hint of buttery popcorn with each visit my nose takes to the top of this bottle, hoping I’ll eventually smell something more forgiving.  Whelp, like I said I’m now scared silly to even try this in fear of instant vomiting.  Wish me luck Carbo-Nation.  If I do indeed die the website will go to the last man standing… or the first one willing to pay $22 a month.  Here goes…

No, I don’t want to do this anymore.  That was super weird and nauseating all in one sip.  I’m going to try and tell you as much as I can get out of that one sip before I even think about trying Sweet Corn Soda ever again.  The initial experience, and I mean it lasted milliseconds, wasn’t that bad… in fact it was just another sugary treat.  Quickly replacing the generic fizzy sugary drink was the overpowering taste of sweet corn…cold… carbonated… sweet corn.  That very distinctive sweet corn taste doesn’t let go of your tongue either, it holds on for dear life making you remember the folly you made for a few minutes more.  Happily I can’t taste the sweet corn anymore.  Sadly I must now get a refresher for your amusement and knowledge.  I think all of the sweet corn power is in the aftertaste.  I have a theory that if I just swish this around in my mouth it won’t be a terrible experience.  Wait just one second as I test this, please.  My theory is somewhat accurate.  Even though the smell of sweet corn hits your nose every time you bring the bottle up, if you just keep the soda in your mouth you aren’t hit with the sickly taste of sweet corn soda.  Of course this doesn’t allow you to ever allow the soda to vacate the premises of your mouth, making living rather unpleasant.  Each sip just builds on itself until your mouth is awash with sweet corn.  I think if I tried I could finish this bottle of soda, but I reaaaallly don’t want to.    I will say that Old Lester certainly told no falsehoods when telling me what flavor this soda would be.  They said it was sweet corn, and it was most certainly sweet corn.  If I ever run into Lester’s products in the future I’ll know good and well to believe in whatever flavor his bottle displays.

~A

Iguana is not a "fixin".

Rocket Fizz - S'mores

Old 52 recently sent us a variety of sodas to review.  It’d be an understatement to say that these are untraditional flavors.  In fact many of the flavors, brands, and ingredients I’ll be reviewing for them are downright bizarre.  So it looks like that Old 52 knows The Soda Jerks and the Carbo-Nation pretty well.  With that said, it’s time to raise our bottles and drink a S’more!  That’s right I said, nay typed, S’more.  Rocket Fizz S’mores sits on my desk today.  The label consists of a man flying around the earth whilest sitting on a rocket.  This is all done in a retro style, but at the same time looks like a 10 year old drew it… I’d wear it.  I notice right away that Rocket Fizz S’mores is made with pure cane sugar, so we’re off on the right foot… um bottle… something.  The rest of the ingredients are fairly average so it’ll be interesting to see how they capture graham cracker, chocolate, and marshmallow with them.  Time for the opening!

The scent coming out of the mouth of the bottle is a graham cracker/coffee combination.  I think I can smell a hint of burnt marshmallow (which is fine since it’d be over a fire anyway), but I’m unable to smell any discernible chocolate aroma.  At this point two of the three key ingredients are in attendance at the smell portion; hopefully the ever important chocolate will make his appearance shortly.  It’d be rather awkward to put chocolate on the side of a milk carton in hopes of finding him.  I think people would get confused.

Within the first sip you taste the missing chocolate, a small amount of coffee, graham cracker, and the hintiest of marshmallow.  Each sip following the first only builds on the foundation initially laid.  The chocolate starts to overpower the coffee taste, the graham cracker really steps up in flavor, but the marshmallow still sits quietly in the back hoping not to get noticed.  Carbonation level is not a problem in Rocket Fizz S’mores, and it shouldn’t be with the name Rocket FIZZ.  Oh can you imagine the rant I’d have gone on if Rocket Fizz soda had little fizz.  Consider yourself lucky Rocket Fizz, or just be thankful that your creators took that into account.  Onward.  The aftertaste of Rocket Fizz S’mores trades between a mocha coffee and a cream soda.  It’s a very dirty aftertaste in the fact that grabs hold of the inside of your mouth and doesn’t let go.  I’ll be honest with you, and why wouldn’t I be as I don’t get paid to lie… or tell the truth… or at all.  Rocket Fizz S’mores has surprised me greatly.  I went into this thinking I was going to be drinking a novelty soda, a one-time buy.  I could see myself drinking this again… happily.  Sure, improvements could be made.  They could increase the chocolate flavoring just a smidge, and the marshmallow should be brought up to match.  With that said, Rocket Fizz S’mores has made me excited to try more of these oddly flavored drinks.  I don’t have a closing sentence to wrap this all up with, so I wrote this one instead.

~A

Twist has improved upon the S'more but it's too delicious for human consumption

Chubby Tutti Frutti

It seems like just last week when I first tried Chubby brand beverages.  Oh yeah, it was!  Today’s 250 ml. bottle is full of Tutti Frutti flavored Chubby brand soda.  I have higher hopes for the Tutti Frutti (already annoying to spell) flavor soda because it’s has a wider spectrum of what it should taste like than say blueberry.  The little chubby mascot on the front of the bottle is playing either tennis or racquetball.  I’m not sure if either have anything to do with Tutti Frutti, but I’ll still give it a shot.  Remember Chubby brand sodas use cane sugar for sweetening so we’re already starting off on the right foot.  Let’s proceed, shall we?

Mmmmm, that smells like delicious cherry, orange, strawberry, sweet, sugary goodness.  So in short, it smells like red kool-aid.  I’m literally salivating at the prospect of trying this beverage in front of me that could taste like red kool-aid.  Enough with the smells.

I feverishly chugged half the bottle down with the anticipation that it would be a carbonated red kool-aid soda.  While I wasn’t disappointed in the flavor it is not red kool-aid soda.  Chubby Tutti Frutti gives you the initial cherry/strawberry flavoring you’d expect with just a touch of carbonation.  While this is all fine and dandy like sour candy the finish is where this beverage falls short of what it could be.  The mid-taste to aftertaste portion of this particular type of Chubby tastes like a cherry cough drop.  It’s not sorta like a cherry cough drop, it doesn’t remind me of a cherry cough drop, it tastes exactly like a cherry cough drop (Halls to be exact) without the medicinal qualities.  So in short here’s what you get.  You get a red kool-aidesque slightly carbonated beverage that tastes like a cough drop 50% of the time you’re consuming it.  Is it terrible?  No, not at all, in fact I finished the bottle just fine.  Is it better than Chubby BlueBerry?  Yes, yes it is.  While Chubby Tutti Frutti might not be the best example of a fruit punch soda, it does have enough positive qualities to warrant its rating.

~A

Faux Fact: Twist founded Wimbledon

HEB Wild Red

Today’s review puts me in a weird place.  Not “sitting-in-your-boxers-writing-a-review-on-soda-while-a-plastic-iguana-stares-at-you” kind of place, but you get the idea.  The soda up for review today combines the known excellence of an HEB Store brand soda (HEB is a grocery store chain in Texas) with my less than favorite flavor of Big Red.  HEB Wild Red – Red Soda is indeed what’s in front of me to be reviewed.  I’ve only done one other HEB soda review and it was their cola, and my love of it should be apparent since it’s currently in my fridge for consumption.  HEB brand sodas are sweetened with pure cane sugar thus immediately boosting their flavor and mouth feel.  Wild Red is no exception to this rule so at least I know it was made with some sort of thought behind the manufacturing process.  Since the flavor is called “Wild Red” I can only assume that this is their version of a Big Red type beverage.  I wouldn’t call what I feel for Big Red “hate” as that’s way too strong a word.  I would however say that it ranks just above Twizzlers in my “favorite things” department… and they are pretty far down.  Enough babbling though... let’s do this.

Oh, HEB soda… I always forget that you up your legitimacy by using non-screw caps for your bottles.  Yup, it smells like Big Red.  If you’ve never had a “red soda” then let me try my best to explain the scent.  There’s not really a fruity scent at all, just the scent of sugar, cream soda, and bubble gum.  If you disagree with my scent assessment feel free to leave a comment below.  On with the drink!

HEB Wild Red soda doesn’t pack the same punch of flavor that Big Red does.  It’s not flavorless by any means, but it’s a lot less “in your face” than Big Red.  Well technically it’s very “in your face” but that’s on a literal level only.  HEB Wild Red holds the same cotton candy/bubble gum flavor that other red sodas do, but doesn’t improve on it at all.  The fact that it’s made with pure cane sugar is a plus as the soda doesn’t appear to cling to your mouth making each sip a bit cleaner than its HFCS counterparts.  The carbonation level is just a step below tingly, but it’s not something that you’re going to notice and complain about.  Overall HEB Wild Red is an average red soda with an above average sweetener.  To be honest with you I think my apathy toward red sodas might be affecting my rating this time.  If you’re a fan of red sodas at all you should probably go out and try this.  If you are indifferent like I then just go try their cola.

~A

For some reason I wanted Twist to don a cowboy hat for this picture

Chubby BlueBerry Blast

I’ve got a Chubby.  Now that the name of the drink has been said and the most obvious joke in my arsenal has been played, we can move on like the intellectual citizens we are.  Today’s drink was supplied to me by Double Abeyta and its full name is Chubby BlueBerry Blast Soda.  Chubby beverages apparently come in a short 8.45 Fl. Oz. (250 ml.) bottle adorned with a chubby cartoon character.  There is no “story of chubby”, or “facts about chubby”, or even a name for the chubby cartoon character… although I’m assuming his name is Chubby.  This is a product of Trinidad & Tobago so this is fortunately sweetened with sugar.  The rest of the ingredients are chemicals, but at least we can rely on good ol’ trust worthy sugar.  I’m a fan of blueberry soda so let’s move this review in the appropriate direction.

Chubby BlueBerry Blast smells like shampoo.  It’s a fruity smell, but it’s a shampooey smell as well.  If I use my imagination I can pretend to smell the scent of blueberry candy… this calms my thoughts.  On to the drink!

While it does taste a bit like a fruity shampoo might, I’m happy to announce that shampoo is not the dominating flavor.  This subtly carbonated beverage also tastes like chemicals flavored to resemble blueberries.  Herein lies the problem with Chubby BlueBerry Blast… it doesn’t taste like blueberries at all.  This tastes like a hodgepodge of blue candies blended together with little care what the end result was.  I’m also sad(?) to say that the more I drink it the more this does indeed taste like I’m drinking shampoo.   Maybe if Chubby BlueBerry Blast was marketed as a drinkable shampoo I’d give it more “props” as the kids say.  Who am I kidding the kids don’t say that anymore, nor am I old enough to use the phrase “as the kids say”.  With its impossible to ignore soapy flavor I wonder what would happen if I combined Chubby with bland boringness of Neurogasm.  Someone with a lower brow than I can write that joke… I’ll just sit back and laugh at it.

~A

Twist used to have hair until he willed it away.

Neurogasm

While in a scholarly bookstore looking for wares so that I might promote my alma mater, I stumbled upon a section of sodas whose flavors all started with the word “Neuro”.  Quickly looking over them I picked up the most humorously named for review purposes and went on my way.  That particular bottle was called Neurogasm.  Neurogasm comes in a maroon lava lamp shaped bottle with all sorts of words and phrases on it that inform you what you’re about to experience with this particular flavor of Neuro.  According to the bottle Neurogasm has “passion in every bottle”, “only 35 calories”, and a warning not to give it to anyone under the age of 12.  We’re not to the amusing stuff yet though.  The back of the bottle reads as follows.

Neurogasm

-          Supports healthy circulation

-          Helps support the pleasure response

-          Provides playful energy

-          Promotes healthy aging.

 The word Neurogasm means different things to different people and it all leads to something great… gasm.  Neurogasm provides nutrients including L-citrulline to support health blood flow and circulation offering you the opportunity for more enjoyment.  Whether it’s day or night or even later at night who would want that?

Ok… so there you have it.  Basically I just bought a sex drink out of a college bookstore, but it has Neuro in the title so it’s not trashy.  Oh no, if anything it’s a “smart choice”.  Of course I’ll be reviewing this on taste alone unless you want to start paying $9.99 a month for this site.  I’m a bit worried that I’ll have a similar experience to Mike when he reviewed Extenze Soda.  Let’s cautiously begin this review.

After removing the oddly shaped plastic lid I’m greeted with a mixture of odd fruit flavors.  It almost smells like a blueberry pomegranate V8 fusion… which I enjoy, but something is off about the smell of Neurogasm.  The sentence “something is off about the smell of Neurogasm” is going to make me laugh every time I read it.  Moving on.  I’m worried that I’m about to dive into a mixture of energy drink (due to the ridiculous amounts of B vitamins) and vegetable juice (due to the fact that they use vegetable juice).  A vegetable/fruit juice energy drink sounds like a good idea, but let’s take a sip and find out if Neurogasm (must I keep typing that) is worth its weight in anything.

No, no it’s not.  Neurogasm has a lot less flavor than I expected.  Want to make some Neurogasm at home without all the blood circulation side effects?  Grab a can of V8 fusion and mix it with some almost flat seltzer water.  Ta da!  You now have a Neurogasm without all that gasm getting in your way.  This is a lightly carbonated soda with hints of flavor dancing around a very neutral base.  Yes you can taste the fruit juice.  Yes you can taste the vegetable juice.  Yes it’s a drinkable concoction, but as far as flavored-non-alcoholic-carbonated-beverages go… meh.  I’m sorry for what I’m about to say, please forgive me for any unintentional puns.  When I saw the words Neurogasm on the side of a bottle I expected an explosion of flavor.  You don’t make a drink with a provocative name and then give it a weak flavor, shame on you Neuro for teasing us with promises of “passion in every bottle”.  PASSION IN EVERY BOTTLE!  What about that sentence would you associate with a poorly flavored soda that doesn’t start off or finish strong?  So much of what is written on this bottle makes you think of the pleasure you’re going to enjoy while drinking it, and the pleasure of whatever may happen afterwards.  To use a baseball analogy, if I’m about to get to first base and I get shot in the leg along the way, do I really care that I made it to first base?  Sure a triple would make me forget a little more about what just happened, and maybe a home run would make me not care at all, but I don’t see anyone who uses a drink called Neurogasm getting past first in even their best attempts.

~A

Twist has more passion in his soulless eyes.

Big Shot - Pineapple Blue Bayou

I just finished serving on a jury.  This is why the reviews haven’t been happening quite as often, there I’ve made my excuse.  While most would think that Jury Duty might be a miserable experience mine was quite the opposite.  I was fortunate enough to spend time with 11 other people who I would consider genuinely great people.  Yes I only spent 4 days with them, but I was impressed by them all… especially the one that gave me the soda I’m reviewing today.  “Juror Number Cool” is what I’ll call her and I must thank her now for giving me this bottle of soda called Big Shot.  The full name of this particular flavor is Big Shot – Pineapple Blue Bayou, so we might be in for some surprise. 

Big Shot is apparently a popular brand in New Orleans, Nawlins, The Big Easy, Crescent City, The City that Care Forgot, Hollywood South, and many other nicknames I didn’t see looking at Wikipedia.  It appears, after doing a bit of research, that their slogan is “Even if you don’t have a million bucks, let’em know you’re a big shot!”  Saddly this is not on the label.  To offset this sadness is the face of Big Shot… insert name here if he actually had one.  The face of Big Shot looks like a combination of W.C. Fields and Charlie Chaplin.  I immediately want merchandise with The Face of Big Shot on it.  Along with said face and name of drink are the flavors of Pineapple Blue Bayou.  I’m about to consume this blue liquid that is the flavor combination of oranges, pineapple, and coconut.  I’m not going to bother listing the ingredients for you as it’s just a bunch of chemicals.  With that said I think I’ve given a somewhat flushed out description of the 24oz bottle at hand.  If my description confused you… well then just look at the picture below, silly goose.  On with the review!

This impossibly blue liquid smells like a combo of fruit stripe gum and orange cream soda.  I’m now happily anticipating my first drink and happy that all the chemicals they put in this bottle didn’t just singe all three of my chest hairs.  On with the fun.

Big Shot – Pineapple Blue Bayou is certainly an assortment of flavors.  The first thing I taste is what seems to be a glimpse into the flavor of orange; this is followed by the sweet tang of pineapple with coconut being your eventual aftertaste.  The coconut flavor hits your palate so very late in the game that if you were to drink this and not write sentences in between each swig I’m not sure you’d get to experience it.  Coconut is the guy in the race that crosses the finish line after everyone else.  No one is looking for him except his parents, and they’re even averting their eyes somewhat due to his failure at running.  All of these flavors are held together with sweet, sweet, chemicals.  Ok, I’ve made mention of the chemicals three or four times now.  I’m going to redeem this bottle of Big Shot just a smidge by telling you two of the non-chemical ingredients.  Orange juice concentrate, and pineapple juice… there I said it.  While Big Shot – Pineapple Blue Bayou is exactly what your grandparents are referring to when they use the term “sugar water”, it’s not completely full of chemicals.  While I enjoyed this bottle of BS-PBB (I got tired of typing the full name out so I wrote this even longer sentence explaining the abbreviation, thus making it pointless) it’s not a flavor I have to have.  If I was on my way somewhere, NOLA maybe, and I stopped at a gas station… sure I’d pick up a bottle for the road.  I’m not going to stock my fridge with it though.  That doesn’t mean I’m giving up on the Big Shot line, in fact I’m going to make it a point to try all of their flavors.  Thanks Juror Number Cool!

~A

Faux Fact:  Twist was once a Deputy in New Orleans.

Schin Guarana

SCHIN!  Looks like a sound effect of some sort doesn’t it?  It’s almost a bike.  It also could be a misspelled body part.  Today though, Schin is a soda… and its full name is Schin Guarana to be more specific.  We’ve dealt with Guarana before, but just as a reminder here’s what it is.  Guarana is a climbing plant commonly found in Brazil that is especially good at producing caffeine.  The fruit of a Guarana plant produces about twice the caffeine as a coffee bean while being approximately the same size.  Now you have something to mildly impress your friends with.  Who am I kidding?  They’re gonna stop listening right after you say “Guess what I learned yesterday from this soda review site.”  Schin Guarana, from here on being called Shin, is indeed a Brazilian beverage brought to me by The Coolest Man on the Planet.  The can art that surrounds the liquid known as Schin would make Willy Wonka proud.  It’s resembles the colors you might find in a tie-dyed shirt… without the tie portion.  Schin does use real deal sugar so I’m happy to see that on the label as well.  Enough of this blibber blabber, on to the drinking!

Upon opening this 350ml can I get very little aroma at all.  Maybe if I knew what Guarana smelled like I could identify it, but I don’t so I’m sorry.  The only scent I do detect is that of bubble gum.  It’s not your pink bubble gum standard smell, but I can’t describe it in any other way.  If I practically inhale the beverage through my nostrils I can also pick out the scent of red delicious apples.  Again, maybe Guarana smells like bubble gum and apples… I have no clue.  Let’s move on to something I might be a bit better at.  Drink on.

Well that’s odd.  Schin’s carbonation level is lower than I expected it to be.  While many drinks go for the “numerous tiny bubbles to make your tongue burn” technique, Schin goes for the “less giant bubbles that just kind of fumble around” technique.  The taste I am greeted with is one of gum and apples.  It’d be crass of me to say that’s all that I can taste, but the flavor is more complicated than the words I can use.  I honestly think this is probably what Guarana tastes like.  I really need to become more familiar with Guarana (a word I’ve never typed so many times before in my life) so that I can better assess situations like this.  Schin is a tasty drink with a somewhat tasty aftertaste.  This is a bit sweeter, and fruitier than I like my sodas but I can see why it’s so successful.  I’m not sure you should pick up multiples of Schin if you saw it in a store though.  Perhaps just one and see if your love grows from that single seed.  That single Schin seed.

~A

Faux Fact:  Twist is the official everything of Brazil

Hotlips Cranberry Soda

Sparkling water, cranberry juice, pear juice.  Boom, soda.  Those are the only ingredients in this bottle of HOTLIPS Cranberry Soda.  HOTLIPS is a soda company from the Northwest that I respect more than I could put into words.  Their soda is all natural, and you can usually count the ingredients they use on one hand.  Oh, the ingredient label looks a little different than what I wrote.  Here’s the official ingredient list.  Sparkling water, Stevens + Yellow River Cranberries grown by Seaview Cranberries in Sixes, OR, NW grown pears, concentrated.  There you have it… it’s basically what I said just a bit fancier.  Sadly it doesn’t say “Boom, soda!” afterwards; I really think that would drive the point home.    Once I told my wife what was in this soda she immediately wanted to try it, and she is very much NOT a soda person.    Enough of this chatter, I want to try this post haste.

Guess what I smell when I opened it… cranberries and pear.  I’m guessing they use the pear as the sweetening agent since cranberries aren’t particularly known for being sugary.  I smell the pear a bit more than I thought I would, but I think the strength of the cranberry’s flavor will compensate just fine.  I think I’ll hand the bottle to Wife so that she might give her own shortened review.  Here it is.

Wife:  “It punches me in the face with a cranberry fist, and the soda art is unimpressive.  It tastes like fermented cranberry wine.  DISLIKE!”

Well with her disliking it I’m kind of curious as to how this will taste to me.  Here goes something… probably a paragraph on how I think it tastes.

There is no way to mistake this flavor.   You are most certainly drinking a cranberry soda as the pear has all but vanished, muting the would-be super-tartness of the cranberry.  I want to take this time to say that when I typed the word “super-tartness” I thought of a Super Tart, perhaps some sort of promiscuous English Super Heroine.  I will say that the initial flavor my mouth is welcomed to isn’t my favorite, but once the ingestion process furthers my taste buds become awash with cranberry goodness.  HOTLIPS Cranberry Soda is something I could see serving this with the family meal.  I’m sure it’s a natural connection but I’d really like to try this with my Thanksgiving Dinner… sadly I can’t purchase HOTLIPS in my area.  I’m not tasting the fermented flavor Wife did, but that’s not to say it’s not there.  She could have been speaking about that initial taste that I noted my dislike for earlier.  Overall I’m impressed once again with HOTLIPS and what they’re able to do with so few ingredients.  The only flavor of theirs I have left to try is Cherry, and I dream for the day I get to.  This is a tasty soda, but may not be for everyone due to the strength of the cranberry flavoring (a good thing in my opinion).  Bring some over to your family/friend’s house next time you’re having a real deal sit down meal.

~A

Faux Fact: The lips used for their logo are actually Twist's.

Jones Soda Orange & Cream

Another Jones flavor I probably should have tasted years ago is the victim today, to be more specific the flavor at hand is Orange & Cream Soda.  Orange & Cream is a flavor I’ve liked in the past so I can only assume that I’ll like it in this instance as well.  For those of you wondering who can’t see the picture under the article, which should be none of you, this label of Jones Soda has one of those merry-go-rounds you’d find on a playground.  I was that kid who liked the effects of getting dizzy a bit too much, so naturally I loved these whirl-a-ma-gigs.  Hopefully this Jones Orange & Cream Soda won’t make me as nauseous as a spin-a-ka-doodle in the park, but there’s only one way to find out.

It certainly does smell both orange and creamy so I guess we can say the flavor is truth up to this point.  The orange aroma is slightly stronger than the creamy, but I think the flavor will prove otherwise… or at least I hope it does.  Another odd flavor wafts from the top of this bottle, and maybe it’s just me here, but it smells a bit like stewed baby carrots.  I’ve had this “problem” before in sodas where I could taste cooked baby carrots (something I’m not fond of) so this may just be a mental issue of some sort.  Nevertheless, I must truck on regardless!

First off, upon drinking Jones Orange & Cream soda I do get a slight baby carrot taste.  This taste is nothing compared to the one I first tasted in Blue Sky’s Dr. Becker, so it won’t be considered the lone downfall of this beverage.  Secondly, this is one of the least creamy sodas I’ve had that included the words “CREAM SODA” in its flavor description.  This mostly tastes of orange which I understand since it’s the primary flavor of the soda, but it could be improved so very much if it were considerably smoother.  Each sip I take in leaves me with an aftertaste I’m not thrilled with as well.  The carbonation plays a larger role than I’d like, taking away from even initially taking away from what could be a decent orange flavor.  This is the point in the review where I tell you how surprised I am at how little this is blowing me away.  Where Jones Green Apple is a torrential hurricane, Jones Orange & Cream would sadden a kite flyer of any age.  I thought about giving this a lower rating, but my opinion of Jones Orange & Cream at this point is very much “meh”.  Not negative mind you, just… meh.

~A

Twist is creamier than this.